Wdym? Usa Is Literally Stomping On Every Brazilian Foot They Can!

wdym? usa is literally stomping on every brazilian foot they can!

FOR FUCK SAKE! I didn't think we could possibly see a team do more acting and injury flopping then Columbia but apparently Brazil is like Nahhh hold my beer.

why did horan look so devastated at the half time?

The bay fc keeper is good though...

finally a sophia smith goal!!

somebody needs to convert this into a fanfic...

Christen is cruel if she purposely chose that yoga retreat so that Tobin would be forced to finally do yoga with her after saying no for so many years 😭

She’s trying to make Tobin more flexible isn’t she 🫣 😏

Tobin's Yoga retreat diary

Day 1:

This is humiliating.

Christen's ass looks awesome in yoga pants.

I'm not allowed to sleep next to Christen.

I guess the goal of this retreat is to get flexible enough to spoon yourself.

Day 2:

I Googled, "why is my kidney itching after Yoga". The results did not cease my worry.

Teacher said i have a weak Cobra. I don't know what this means but Christen smiled when the teacher said it so i don't think it's deadly.

Day 3:

Scoped out the place, the guards take 5 minute meditation breaks every 2 hours. Escape plan has been hatched.

Christen wanted to do a guided meditation with donkey's.

It's hard to meditate when a donkey poops on you.

Day 4:

I sneezed during meditation.

The stares that followed unlocked a new fear in me.

Christen's kisses are the only thing keeping me alive.

Day 5:

Tried to escape yesterday.

It did not go well.

I punctured a lung.

Guards put me in the meditation pit.

They lower down food twice a day.

Day 6:

Got spooned by a naked mole-rat.

Christen got jealous and demanded i be released from the pit.

I build a fire pit for us.

Only injured 6 fingers and 3 toes.

Day 7:

TOBY IS FREEEEEE

Injury update

Back is still aching Fingers and toes are sprained Got naked mole-rat fever Lung still punctured Kidney's still itchy Broke three ribs trying to spoon myself

choppaholic5 Orlando Pride Midfielder Simone Charley talks about the impact USWNT Legend Tobin Heath has had on her life