Take A Fucking Sip Babes

take a fucking sip babes 

@awesomeapplegirl

@pixiequeer

she transformed her enemies, or those who offended her, into wild beasts // Circe by Wright Barker (1889)

florence welch: forest goddess, queen of the fae

hozier: florence's son with a mortal woodcutter, trapped between the mortal realm and the fae realm

lorde: dark entity summoned by victorian occultists

lady gaga: diva possessed by the spirit of a modern art exhibit

beyonce and solange: the sun and the moon

kanye west: protagonist of an epic greek tragedy

lana del rey: met the devil at the crossroads and sucked his dick

carly rae jepsen: a mortal, but we don't deserve her

@awesomeapplegirl

I want to see a sci-fi movie...

Where Rinko Kikuchi

is the adopted daughter of the Galactic Space General Sigourney Weaver,

who leads humanity against an endless horde of giant aliens designed by Guillermo del Toro and the Pan’s Labyrinth crew

who are all motion-captured and voiced by Andy Serkis

and take orders from the cosmic space conqueror Tim Curry.

After a terrible battle, Kikuchi gets taken in two wise old mentors played by Terry Crews

and Isaiah Mustafa

going full Old Spice

with the intention of teaching her how to pull off all that crazy shit they do in those adverts.

and eventually finds a rival in the evil space empire’s greatest warrior Gwendoline Christie

but manages to defeat her and Curry’s superweapon with the help of a giant super robot

with an AI voiced by Aisha Tyler.

The third act twist is that Curry was just the henchman of the *true* dark lord of the universe: Ken Watanabe

who is also Rinko’s father

and pilots a giant samurai mech

and is basically the Anti-Spiral but for Old Spice

and Rinko and her robot must defeat him by using bunch of crazy Old Spice-inspired madness

and also the Aisha robot gets a horse because of course she does

and she finishes the fight by punching the baddie into the sun

before going on to be crowned Galactic Space Empress and building up a super team of badass Old Spice Power-users to defend the universe, kinda like the Justice League but with giant robots and physics-defying madness.

If anyone wants to buy this pitch, you know how to reach me.