My Dealer: Got Some Straight Gas This Strain Is Called The Epic Of Gilgamesh Youll Be Zonked Out Of Your

My dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called “The Epic of Gilgamesh” 😳 you’ll be zonked out of your gourd 💯

Me: yeah whatever. I don’t feel shit.

5 minutes later: dude I swear I just saw the mountain warn me in a dream about Humbaba

My buddy Enkidu pacing: the gods are lying to us

For one reason or another I found many Apollo stans who either claim that an ecranisation made their favourite god completely dirty if he rapes, curses or kills people in it (you know, as if he doesn't do that in a lot of myths...) or accept an actual mediocre depiction of him as long as his bisexuality and effeminate appearance aren’t erased, because everybody knows that these are the core, main, ultimate relevant aspects of his identity and nothing else really matters.

she’s a poor little meow meow. she was born in a wet cardboard box all alone. she’s suffered more than jesus. she’s misunderstood. she’s a silly guy. she experienced the horrors. she did all those crimes. she has done nothing wrong. she deserves to kill. she’s the most interesting girl in the world. i didn’t say a name, but she popped into your head, didn’t she?

If Achilles has zero bullies, I'm dead

This is how I think that scene went

some of my favorite pallas “scumbag” athena bits from the iliad:

shoving sthenelus out of the chariot b/c she’s going to drive diomedes into battle and she can’t be bothered to like ask him to get off

punching aphrodite in the boob

saying that aphrodite scratched her hand on a brooch when she’d in fact been stabbed on athena’s orders

making a deal with ares to stop interfering in the fight and then immediately giving diomedes special shiny powers

convincing pandarus to shoot menelaus in book four and then guiding the javelin to kill pandarus in the book five

the many, many ways she cheats during the funeral games to make sure diomedes and odysseus win

everything to do with hector’s death and deiphobus 

all the times she and hera stand in the back of the room and mutter about destroying troy together