REGULUS BLACK

REGULUS BLACK

requests are open

࿔oneshots˳·˖

you don’t think i’m a bad person ?: in which you find out that regulus got the dark mark

࿔angst˳·˖

his last letter: regulus writes you a letter before he goes to the cave

sink: regulus is gone forever & you can't believe it

loving someone doesn’t save them: in which harry appears on your doorstep & asks questions about R.A.B.

࿔erotica˳·˖

pygmalion & galatea: in which regulus is a painter & you are his muse

i think deciding to love someone continually is like reading the same book again, but each time finding a different line that hits deep and makes you think about something you didn't realize before. and you decide to read it again and again, knowing you'll never get enough of it, knowing you'll always find something new about them to love.

love is buying someone a book and writing a note to them on the first page

you ever know someone and you think “god i love you. i wish we could’ve known eachother when we were carefree and 11. i wish we could’ve played together as kids”

loving someone doesn’t save them ༊*·˚

m.list ◦ askbox

synopsis: in which harry appears on your doorstep & asks questions about R.A.B.

It was a tragedy for everyone else, for everyone who only knew him by his last name; but for you, it was like ripping out a part of your heart and then leaving back shattered pieces collided with the weakest glue. No one prepared you for this - he didn’t prepare you. Even the night you last saw him; he gave you a kiss on the lips, a smile, and said: « Goodnight. »

If that sick feeling was a bottle you would've broken it, if it was a wall you would've torn it down, if it was a piece of paper you would've cast it into the fire. But no, your heart was sobbing for days, months, years, and you were doomed to spend the rest of your life with a hole inside your chest that couldn't be filled.

You hated him, mostly because he said he loved you and because you had plans and he gave you his ring as a promise with a kiss and a « don’t worry everything’s going to be fine. » How could you love someone that didn’t prepare you for this? That didn’t tell you to hug him tighter that night or to say that you loved him one last time before he left once and for all. Maybe you didn’t know him as much as you thought and for the rest of your life, you would always have an unanswered question; why didn’t he give you a sign.

After eighteen years you were able to forgive him. But you never forgot about him.

You started a family away from London in the countryside, away from everything and everyone. Your husband - a muggle - didn’t know about your past and you had never opened the door of that haunted house filled with screaming voices of friends and family. Your kids were your priority, two happy little girls that wanted to play in the garden all day under the sun.

However, the sun had abandoned you the last few months and the sky was always veiled, misty with storms and rains. No matter the attempts of the Daily Prophet to reassure you and quieten your concerns, you knew something terrible was about to happen. You had seen it happening before, spreading and destroying everything in its passage. Everyone you loved was dead because of this.

And all of your suspicions came true when on a rainy afternoon thunderous poundings were heard on your door.

Your husband was in town and you were working in your office as your girls were playing in front of the fireplace. It was only natural for you to feel a knot in your stomach and your body instantly freezing.

« Mom, someone’s on the door! »

You left your typewriter aside and got out of your office. The shape of a person was printed on the glass, a man. You weren’t expecting any guests and your husband had car and keys with him.

« Girls, why don’t you go upstairs? », you smiled at them. They both looked at you unsurely with that childish expression of concern and the need to protect their mother.

« Is something wrong, mommy? »

« No, no, love, » your voice came out gently as you held their soft cheeks. « Just go upstairs. » They obeyed your words hesitantly, giving you second glances over the pile of toys gathered on their hugs, and turned to the upper floor.

Once they were out of sight, you ran to your office to get your wand and then back to the entrance. With a quick move, you raised your wand and the door opened wide, letting you point to the person that was standing there.

« Hi, » he said not really paying attention to your wand. It was a young man, a boy not even eighteen years old. « I’m looking for Y/N L/N. » For a moment you stayed there, your blood running cold in your veins, frozen, with your heart skipping beats. It couldn’t be, it was some kind of sick joke.

Your lips separated studying each and every one of his features. Rain was pressing down short black curls, droplets dripping down his half-closed eyes, and trailing lines across his dark skin. He had glasses on, foggy and stained; the same kind of glasses your best friend wore years before he was lost - murdered. But it couldn’t be him. He took them off and wiped the water with his fingers before your gaze met a deep brown, honey set of eyes - Lily Evans’ eyes.

« Harry? », you let your wand drop. He stared at you.

« You know me? »

« Don’t just sit there, come in, » you opened the door wider for him to pass inside, letting the sound of it echo behind you. Your eyes examined him. You hadn't seen him since he was only a baby.

His stare roomed the house as he gave you his jacket, seeing pictures of your children, you, your husband.

« I’m Harry, Harry Potter, » he turned back tenting his arm forward.

« I know, » you smiled at him and shook his hand. You kissed both of his cheeks and gestured to the living room. « I’m Y/N. » Your eyes kept staring at him until you caught the uneasiness in the air, so you took a seat on the armchair. « Can I bring you anything, Harry? »

« No, no, thank you, » he shook his arms sitting on the couch across from you.

« I suppose everyone tells you, you are just like your dad. Except for the eyes, of course. Those are Lily’s. »

« You knew my parents? » You smiled.

« Oh, I didn’t just know them, we were friends - best friends. I have so many stories to tell you. »

« I’d love to hear them all, » Harry said.

« And I also have a photo album. » You haven’t seen that grin and that spark in a pair of eyes for years, and the truth was, you had missed them more than words could possibly describe. « But first, you have to tell me the reason of your visit, Harry Potter. »

His cheerful expression slowly faded, clouds passing by his features. Fingers fumbled in the pocket of his jeans and without losing any time he brought out a necklace, a locket - the locket.

Your eyes exchanged a look between the locket and Harry, fear marked on your face as he offered it to you and you just shook your head pulling back.

« Where did you get this? », you asked not being able to change your gaze away from that devilry.

« Do you recognize this? », Harry questioned. You raised your eyes slowly shaking your head.

« Harry, I don’t know where you found this or what you intend to do, but please stay away from it. »

« What do you mean? »

« Where did you even find it? Did you go to the cave? » Harry furrowed his brows. You realized at that moment, he probably didn’t expect you to know and maybe it was for the best to stop yourself. But you had questions and you were sure the same applied to him. « Is this the one? »

« No, this is the fake one, » Harry said opening it and bringing forward a small piece of parchment. He offered it to you which you took hesitantly. You read it. A slight smile twitched on your lips. The handwriting, the damn handwriting, and that R.A.B. that had always been his way of signing notes or letters. « R.A.B. », Harry spoke. « Regulus Ar- »

« Arcturus Black, » you interrupted him. His eyes looked up at yours that rested on that old parchment. Your fingers traced the surface of the last words he left in this world. You rubbed your sight, a hot sense lurking behind, ready to blur your vision, and pressed your lips together tightly. « Regulus Arcturus Black. » It had been years since the last time you spoke his name out loud. You had forgotten the sound of it. It was nothing more than words in your head, but when said those three words, magically, it took life again.

« The locket belonged to Sirius’ brother, » Harry spoke as you gave him back the note. A mischievous smile slowly appeared on your face that made the boy feel uncomfortable facing someone who knew the person he was trying for months to do an introspection to.

« Is that the reason of your visit? » Harry looked at you with the fullest and deepest stare. He spoke quietly but steadily sure of what he was saying.

« You knew Regulus Black. You knew what he was trying to do. You knew everything. »

« I didn’t know anything, » you replied.

« I don’t believe you, » Harry said. You furrowed your brows and allowed your looks to meet. It was interesting talking to him. He had Lily’s straightforwardness and sharpness, and James’ expressions.

« Why are you here? How did you find me? »

« I found letters of yours in R.A.B.’s room. » With these words the muscle of your jaw clenched. You never imagined that your personal writings would be read by someone other than him. The feeling of anger was boiling under your skin. The only thing that held you back, that didn’t erupt the volcano inside you, was that he was a kid. « Hard to find. They were very well-hidden. »

« And how did you find out my name? », you asked. You always signed with a pseudonym that only a few selected people knew about.

« Professor Lupin helped me with that. » That's when you let a small smile appear on your face again and sat better back on the armchair.

« Professor Lupin? », you chuckled. « The old bastard... »

« I need to know, » Harry said seriously which brought you back to the conversation. « You knew Regulus Black. You knew. »

« I’m afraid you are losing your time here. I knew Regulus, » you told him. « I didn’t know. He didn’t let me know. »

« Why? »

« Because he loved me. » Harry didn’t speak just watched your expression change. He watched the way your jaw muscle broke, that bitter smile on your mouth and your head lightly shaking. You bit your lower lip and shrugged. « Because he knew exactly what he was doing. And because he knew exactly how it was going to end. » None of you spoke after that. « I don’t know anything, Harry, truly. He never prepared me or anyone else for this. »

« I don’t understand why he did that, » his voice cut those few seconds of silence. He shook his head, eyes fixed to the ground, giving to your piercing stare glances every now and then. « I don’t understand him. »

« You know, » you breathed out. « At first I was mad at him - maybe I still am a little - but through the years, I realized that that was his way. Regulus just followed his heart without giving any explanation to anyone. He acted with his senses and his emotions and did the things he considered right. Regulus didn’t care about the price. He could even pay with his life. »

« Sirius told me he was a stupid idiot whose only ambition was to join the Death Eaters. »

« Sirius loved him, Harry. But he didn’t know him at all. Nobody knew him really, I’m afraid. »

« What about you? »

« Barely, » you shrugged sadly. « He didn’t let me know him, he just let me love him. But does it matter now? Loving someone doesn’t save them. »

seaside sanctuary ༊*·˚

synopsis: during your vocation on a greek island, you and timothée spend some time on a secluded beach

The magic of Milos had settled over you gently and clingingly with its volcanic rock formations and golden shores. Not even two weeks had passed since the day you and Timothée arrived on the island, and you had already become one with the locals; traveling in all its cryptic passages and discovering the heart of the town.

You had found happiness in simple and frugal things like walking along pebbled pathways and marble streets with your boyfriend’s palm inside yours, fingers conjoined and tangled, quick pecks on the cheek and forehead, small glances and furtive smiles, soft laughs, warm or cold hugs, his head balancing tiredly on your shoulder and yours burying on his chest listening to his steady heartbeat.

It was Timothée’s idea to invite your families since you had only a month at your disposal before returning back to work and it was an opportunity to spend some time with them. Besides, it was such a beautiful trip, you had to share this unrepeatable experience. 

Altogether you traveled with your sailboat around the island and stayed on secluded beaches, accessible only by the sea. Hours and hours had been spent under the sun; swimming, snorkeling, laying on the deck, enjoying the sunset at anchor. 

Blazing afternoon sunrays penetrated your skin and blinded your vision, as the briny breeze fanned your face, pulling back strands of salty hair, tangling them with the blowing fair wind. 

The Aegen was opening around you; a sapphire-colored sea that touched the line of the sky, extending to a wild yet quiet horizon. It was summer and the world was in a splendor. 

Your arms were leaning on the silver railings of the boat and your gaze was up in the bright blue veil, watching the seagulls fly high and dive at the water, then rising up again, squawking loudly to each other. 

A burst of familiar boisterous laughter led your eyes to the back at the cockpit. You couldn’t help but smile before even allowing your stare to pierce that dirty glass, only at the sound of his voice. Your head slowly fell to the side and stayed balanced on top of your shoulder. 

Timothée’s radiant smile made you unconsciously laugh a little. And he must've noticed because even through the thick glass and the heavy blanket of water and salt covering it, he stared back at you with an electrifying glint and grinned widely as he bent down to knock at the glass a few times and then waved at you. 

« Let’s go! », he told you. 

You pushed yourself off the railings. Hushed murmurs accompanied by melodious giggles forced you to change your gaze from scenic islets and coves to a small group of people. Barefoot and sun-dazed, their hearts still left in the old pirates’ hideout, Kleftiko, your parents and Pauline, were laying relaxed on the boat. Their swimsuits were on, bodies still wet from their previous dive, drying under shining sunrays. Green beer bottles with the word ‘Mythos’ written on their lebels were reflecting golden beams of light, as cigarettes burnt in the air alongside sprinkles of brine and rust.

« Pauline? », you called her name. She sat better at her elbows and raised her eyes that were covered with black shades. « You’re coming? »

« Nah, » she replied throwing her head back. « I’m tired. I’ll just stay here and take a nap. Have fun though. » You nodded at her words and moved slowly and steadily to the back, hands holding tightly the ropes of the boat.

« Hey, » Timothée grinned at you. 

« Hi, » you greeted him and the Captain. « Where are we right now? »

« We are at Sykia, » Timothée replied. He wrapped his arm around you, letting it fall loose on your shoulder as he held you.

« Yeah that’s right, » the Captain spoke with his heavy Greek voice that held a melodious tone only people from Cyclades had. « Once you pass that tunnel, you’ll end up in the cave, » he pointed in the direction you were already looking at. Timothée nodded in understandment, arms snaking in your lower spine, bringing you closer to his body. « And when you get inside, you'll notice that a part of the roof of the cave is missing. It was submerged years ago and now there is a kind of natural skylight. »

« Oh that’s cool, » you said turning to the scenery while Timothée’s nose was mindlessly circling your cheek and temple, tracing soft lines over your brow. Sun kissed your faces and drifted at the space between, giving away a sheen. 

« It is cool, » the Captain continued. « I mean, what are you even doing in Milos if you haven’t visited Sykia? » You both lightly laughed at his words as you took Timothée’s hand in yours and pressed a pair of soft lips on top of it before he lightly patted your cheek with his hand making you grin, melting at his warm touch, and hug him tight. 

You had anchored close to the cave, less than half of a nautical mile. Waves were luring the boat along with them giving it a soft waft. 

Timothée waited for you to approach the edge of the boat before jumping off the stern into a calm steady sea with a thunderous splash that sprinkled you from head to toe, and then paddled the water. Quickly he emerged, throwing his head back and pulling pieces of hair that were stuck on his forehead, out of his face. With cold water stinging your skin, you lightly stepped back gasping.

« Come in! », Timothée laughed and motioned his head to you.

« It’s cold! », you slouched your shoulders, arms wrapped around your stomach. You glanced back regretting your decision of not staying with Pauline to take a nap as well.

« Come in! », he said in a more demanding tone. You bit your lips and shook your head. « I’m going to splash you. »

“No, you wouldn’t.”

« You sure about that? », he asked tossing a small wave of water in your direction. 

« Timothée, it’s cold! »

« I’ll splash you. » You looked at him for a few seconds. « I’ll do it. »

« Fine, » you groaned making him smile, and without much thought jumped into the sea. 

A freezing feeling struck then gradually consumed your body. Nothing but the sea was surrounding you and you kicked your feet through bitter water, gasping for air. You fought for a moment breathlessly to come to the surface and then looked at Timothée who was already a bit ahead of you.

« Wait, wait, wait! », you shouted at him. He stopped and turned around to look at you, as you paddled along the blue to be closer to him. Timothée couldn’t help but laugh, watching you all puffed, your legs weightless kicking an uncharted abyss below. 

Together you glided the blue, reaching the tunnel Captain told you about. Your head moved up too distracted from watching the brown-greenish rocks above your head. Tim pulled your hand and pressed a wet kiss on your cheek.

« Let’s go, » he said, his voice echoing loud all around as if coming from speakers.

The cave had no roof just like the Captain described it. Sun rays were lighting the inside of the cave, creating amazing colorations that enchanted you. It was a unique miracle every visitor should see. 

On the inside was a small pebbled beach, with rocks and crystal clear waters. There was no one there. Just the two of you.

Like true children of the sun, you swam in the idyllic calm and then ran to the pebbled shore, free, repeating the gestures of athletes of Delos.

« Aren’t you afraid it’s going to fall and crush us down? », you told him as your hands cupped in the air the part of the cave that was still up. Your bodies were close to each other, so close you could hear the smile forming on his lips.

« It’s been like that for so many years, why does it have to fall now that we are here? », he asked. You rolled your eyes and chuckled. 

« I’m just saying, » you mumbled. He breathed out heavily which made you turn in question. « What? », you looked at him.

« Oh, nothing, » he laughed a little, pulling back his wet hair. You kept staring at him for a few seconds watching droplets watering the rocks below you. 

« I’ve never been happier. » He wore a dreamful smile. « And I wish every day could be like that. »

« Like what? », his eyebrow slightly raised. Your mouth curled up thinking of your response as your gaze turned back to the crystal pure tapestry of the sky.

« Waking up together… making love… having breakfast… going for a walk… swimming… making love again and then having a bath together. » Your words caused a boyish grin to appear on his face and you imitated his expression. « Eating together, listening to music, watching the sunset… you laughing and me laughing because you are laughing… telling you how much I love you… »

« Sounds good to me, » he said and leaned to kiss your shoulder. You pouted your lips and looked down. Timothée frowned and then turned to the side, balancing on his one elbow, to take a better look at you.

« You won’t tell me how much you love me back? », you bit your lips trying not to smile. His face flushed at your mincing manner and how you pronounced the world ‘love’. He looked away.

« Oh, of course, I’ll tell you, » he bent lower his head and you tented your neck to catch his lips, your hand holding back his hair as he moved on top of you, dripping water running on your body. He breathed out hot air on your face making your head fall back trying to get some oxygen inside before returning to him, your heads touching and lips almost stitched together. 

« Y/N, » he said voice deep echoing inside you. « I really need you to know this. »

« You don’t have to say anything. »

« No, I have to, » Tim gulped. « You walked by chance into my very messy life and from day to day, I started to breathe better. Before you, without you, I loved nothing. With you, I have accepted more things. I have learned to live. That's probably why I’ve always mixed my love for you with so much gratitude. » Your mouth slightly opened and eyes glanced away. « I mean every word. »

Without warning you kissed him on the lips. He let out a muffled sound from the force with which your mouth touched his. 

« I wouldn’t have loved you any less, if you didn’t say anything, » you told him. Your stare was fixed on his plum reddish lips that tasted like salt and apricots and cherries. « But now that you did, all I can do is love you more. »

He smiled. His forehead brushed against yours as he let you lick away his grin and kiss him. First slow, sweet, soft; then harder, fiery, urgent, like a poem of Odysseas Elytis.

It was a true sisyphean work watching the way the lurking glint of your eyes and your wolfish grin dig up his most shameful secrets, without ripping the animal from within and burying himself in your streams of love and delicate words.

The waft’s stroke maneuvered between you, warm like a teenage memory, spreading sprinkles of salt and rust to the air. Bodies entangled in summer thunders, as the gentle splash of water on your toes offered a kind of peace, privacy, and safety that you had both missed. 

You flapped and then stayed there in comfortable silence. But as you watched the horizon slowly bleed from the crevice of the tunnel, Timothée couldn't think of the swollen sun, honeycombs, and wasted old summers.

The only thing he had in mind was how much he loved you, how much you loved him - because he knew that - and how much he couldn't wait any longer for you to live together forever.

You laid together, eyes gazing at the moon and the starlit sky, bodies hugging one another.