Adult, Writer, writes fanfic in my spare time. Pronouns: She/HerFandoms: too many to name.
480 posts
Hauntedwizardtree - Tumblr Blog
I feel like any aliens that were prey at some point in evolution would have an odd fear of humans. Mostly cause they look like predators, act a bit like predators, and ARE predators. One perfect example is when we're focused on something like a mosquito that's been bugging us for a long time and we are just done.
Alien: "What. What..?"
Human: *HUNTING down a mosquito it saw*
Alien: ".... yeah I am really uncomfortable...."
Human: *quiet footsteps, pupils dialated, intense focus,*
Alien: *WAR FLASHBACKS*
Human: "Found you." *absolutely desimates the mosquito, squashing it into a million pieces as it's guts and various body parts liquidize into blood of the bloodthirsty, now stained on the palm of the human. A living being now reduced to a useless corpse as the human wipes the remains on their pants*
Alien: "I feel like I've just gained trauma."
yeah I'm a serious gamer
*plays oregon trail on the oregan travel website*
Ok so not to kick a hornets’ nest but I headcanon anakin as an intersex unlabeled eldritch entity.
Like think about it. Considering the fact that anakin is half force and that all dead things pass on to the force kind of implies that Anakin is made out of dead people, or at least their life force.
Also because the force created anakin I don’t see any real reason for it to pick making him a man. Like I don’t think the force knows what it is i think it just checked both boxes and that’s it. I also think that anakin doesn’t care for the concept of gender and just goes with the flow and tbh he is kind of a lesbian
George Lucas has never established a real magic system for the force and because of that I can apply as many implications that I want on anakin’s weird biology from the vague shit that is established in canon
Lmaooooo. Consider, since I also headcanon Stewjoni as dualsex; everyone in the temple is all ‘Anakin is rather weird for a Stewjoni… maybe his fangs never grew in’ till one day they check his DNA, nope, 100% human. He’s just got Both Parts.
Anakin goes through a 15yo mental crisis that Shmi and Obi-Wan have to talk him down from before he’s all ‘wait. Does this mean I’m not allowed to identify as female sometimes??? Because if I’m not Stewjoni I can’t change????’ And that’s when Obi finds out his baby is gender-fluid af
Shmi is so proud to have found these queers. She feels right at home.
UnitedHealthcare, the largest health insurance company in the US, is allegedly using a deeply flawed AI algorithm to override doctors' judgments and wrongfully deny critical health coverage to elderly patients. This has resulted in patients being kicked out of rehabilitation programs and care facilities far too early, forcing them to drain their life savings to obtain needed care that should be covered under their government-funded Medicare Advantage Plan.
It's not just flawed, it's flawed in UnitedHealthcare's favor.
That's not a flaw... that's fraud.
The idea of homer being an f1 commentator is so funny to me
I get that the new world is struggling to be born but can we get an epidural or something
last year i was eating in a fancy, large restaurant when i began to hear a rumble and the distant sound of people chanting ‘potassium, potassium’ and suddenly hundreds of people dressed as bananas flood this restaurant chanting potassium over and over and we were trapped there for a very long time because the bananas would not leave and they were everywhere
i wasn’t joking
Honestly, I love the idea of a vampire who only drinks blood taken from blood banks and hospitals, because it so beautifully encompasses someone who's more concerned with the vibes of something than the actual impact of it.
Drinking from someone on the street, barring some other condition they may have, isn't likely to kill them unless you gorge yourself. Taking blood packs? There's always a shortage of blood, and having even less of it runs the very real risk of getting someone killed in a way that is wholly out of your control once you've sipped on that blood. Someone you can't assure the innocence or guilt of, if you're the type of person who cares about that.
Despite that, in popular stuff, I often see discussions of drinking from a blood bank being somehow better or preferable, and yeah. No. The only thing it does is make you feel better while doing more harm, because of that degree of removal. You're effectively drinking blood from someone on the cusp of hypovolemic shock, but since it's not straight from the tap, some people seem to think it's better.
Dick: Would you still love me if I was a worm?
Damian: I would obliterate you. It would be a mercy kill—you would not be happy as a worm, Richard, and I would not allow you to dishonor your own memory.
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine "Past Tense, Pt. 1"
"The problem with trying to be historically accurate, is that history doesn't care"
So much of the time we think of historical cultures as being very uniform, but people have always been weird, and our expectations of past behaviour don't always match the reality!
Instead of doing NanoWriMo I will be doing something where I try to aim for writing an actual average of 400 words a day for the month of November in memory of Terry Pratchett, who as far as I know never thought telling a computer to write a book for you is a good way to hone your skills as a writer.
it is SO FUNNY when you’re watching a show with horses in it and within the plot of the show the horses are “”””upset””” but the way they communicate this is by placing a nervous nickering sound bite over what is clearly a calm horse placidly performing a practiced trick
I understand why a lot of fantasy settings with Ambiguously Catholic organised religions go the old "the Church officially forbids magic while practising it in secret in order to monopolise its power" route, but it's almost a shame because the reality of the situation was much funnier.
Like, yes, a lot of Catholic clergy during the Middle Ages did practice magic in secret, but they weren't keeping it secret as some sort of sinister top-down conspiracy to deny magic to the Common People: they were mostly keeping it secret from their own superiors. It wasn't one of those "well, it's okay when we do it" deals: the Church very much did not want its local priests doing wizard shit. We have official records of local priests being disciplined for getting caught doing wizard shit. And the preponderance of evidence is that most of them would take their lumps, promise to stop doing wizard shit, then go right back to doing wizard shit.
It turns out that if you give a bunch of dudes education, literacy, and a lot of time on their hands, some non-zero percentage of them are going to decide to be wizards, no matter how hard you try to stop them from being wizards.
This is a neutral post
Feel free to stop here and rest before journeying to the posts below.
A boy can dream, can't he?
Hi everyone, serious post!
If you've been following me for a while or you're a mutual of mine, you probably already know that I'm Native American, but I feel the need to expand a little bit.
I'm a member of the Chinook Indian Nation - I don't expect you to know that name. We've been fighting for recognition as long as I've been alive, even though we've been here since the beginning of European presence in the West Coast, and long before it.
We are constantly fighting. The vast majority of our population was killed by disease and colonization, and with that we lost our language. But after that hardship we are still here. We are still fighting. The government has effectively spat in our faces and said that not only are we unworthy of their time - we are unworthy of respect. Of dignity. I'm asking you, the people who take the time to read this post to dedicate even a fraction of your time to signing our petitions, boosting this post, or using the ChinookJustice hashtag on any major social media platform.
We don't just want our land back, we want our home back. We want the bodies of our ancestors, which are routinely dug up during construction. We want the relics of our tribe that are hanging up in museums to be returned, but first there needs to be a home for them to return to. Our campaigns have shockingly low amounts of signatures, but I'm hoping that the good people I know are here can change that.
Here you can sign the petition to restore our federal recognition. Here residents of Washington and Oregon state can contact their legislators in support of federal recognition for the Chinook Nation. Here you can donate to help us continue fighting. Here you can find information about Chinook justice, and here is our official Instagram.
If you spent time reading this, thank you, but if you went out of your way to sign our petitions, donate, or spread awareness, I love you for it.
There's something that I find equal parts hilarious and terrifying.
On one hand it is so funny watching the generation previous to mine (I was born in 84) absolutely say the most unhinged shit online, doxx themselves, and get fired, after spending my entire childhood teaching me online opsec because every stranger was a potential murderer. Social media done rotted their brains.
But on the other I'm seeing kids coming up, seeing them spew all their personals online, and using that to model their unsafe behavior and put themselves at incredible risk because the internet actually got way more dangerous than it was, ironically, when I was coming up being told I had to basically outsmart the fuckin CIA. Now the actual CIA and other bad actors (government, private, and individual) really are out there and these kids are watching fucking meemaw post a photo of the front of her house practically captioned with her fucking SSN and thinking, "yeah, sure, the adults know what's safe."
I gotta be a fuckin millennial about this and beg younger folx to listen to the VCR generation: hide yourself online. Nothing should go there you wouldn't want in the hands of the person who hates you the most.
Be safe, be smart, be a fucking ghost.
I already have too many books on my TBR list but I’m adding these
PLEASE for the love of the universe read anti-colonial science fiction and fantasy written from marginalized perspectives. Y’all (you know who you are) are killing me. To see people praise books about empire written exclusively by white women and then turn around and say you don’t know who Octavia Butler is or that you haven’t read any NK Jemisin or that Babel was too heavy-handed just kills me! I’m not saying you HAVE to enjoy specific books but there is such an obvious pattern here
Some of y’all love marginalized stories but you don’t give a fuck about marginalized creators and characters, and it shows. Like damn
my brother had a brilliant idea that i wanted to share with other people who have four-legged family members: he trained our two cats to go directly to the door when they hear the fire alarm.
obviously at first the fire alarm sent them scrambling for cover, but he started slowly by giving them treats whenever it went off, when someone burned food or forgot to open the fireplace flu. he then progressed to calling them to the door to offer treats immediately after the alarm went off. and it actually wasn't too long before the cats voluntarily started going to the door upon hearing the alarm.
i think this was genius because in the event of a real emergency we know exactly where the cats will be and we will not have to waste precious time trying to find them to rescue them. i think this method would work equally well with dogs and probably other free-roaming pets such as rabbits, ferrets, etc. and i certainly encourage others to give it a shot!
Bitches be like "Oh Hades always has to deal with his stupid youngest brother Zeus who cannot keep it in his pants."
First of all, Ancient Greeks didn't wear pants.
Secondly, Hades and Zeus are actually decent with each other. Hades isn't ashamed of asking him for help whenever he considers that there's the case, whereas Zeus trusts his eldest brother enough to give one of his daughters as his wife. There's also this whole discourse claiming that Zeus got the best and Hades got the worst, but if you actually give a second thought to it the Underworld actually has some of the greatest peaks: besides the fact that you're extremely rich all the mortals eventually become your subjects. Even poets stated that in numerous works:
Ovid, Fasti 4. 443 (trans.Boyle) (Roman poetry C1st B.C. to C1st A.D.) :
"[Zeus speaks :] ‘My rank is no greater [than Haides]. I hold court in the sky; another rules the sea [Poseidon], and one the void [Haides].’"
Or:
Seneca, Hercules Furens 53 (trans. Miller) (Roman tragedy C1st A.D.) :
"Dis [Haides] himself, who drew a lot equal to Jove's [Zeus's]."
But if you're so desperate to give Hades a brotherly rivalry then I'm here to tell you that there's no need to erase all of Zeus' qualities (leadership skills, wisdom, long-term planning, determination, cunning etc.) and over exaggerate all of his bad actions in order to portray him as an incompetent asshole Hades always has to deal with. You could simply give Hades and Poseidon this type of dynamic instead.
Poseidon is way more impulsive, temperamental and testy than Zeus. He doesn't hesitate to show his wrath, let aside make others suffer because of it. On top of that, he's the god of the sea and earthquakes, and he's also almost as powerful as Zeus. His attributes and realm could easily represent a threat to the Underworld if he lets his anger go too far.
Take this passage from the Iliad as a relevant example:
Homer, Iliad 20. 67 ff :
"Poseidon from deep under them shuddered all the illimitable earth, the sheer heads of the mountains. And all the feet of Ida with her many waters were shaken and all her crests, and the city of Troy, the ships of the Akhaians (Achaeans). Aïdoneus [Haides], lord of the dead below, was in terror and sprang from his throne and screamed aloud, for fear that above him he who circles the land, Poseidon, might break the earth open and the houses of the dead lie open to men and immortals, ghastly and mouldering, so the very gods shudder before them; such was the crash that sounded as the gods came driving together in wrath."
Dude was freaking out in this scene. During the entire Greek Mythology he's presented as stoic and rarely frightened, but when his brother was causing a strong earthquake he was shitting himself and sucking his thumb like a baby (metaphorically). For the first and last time we see a god being vulnerable and scared by other gods in a similar way a mortal who is about to lose all of his property and belongings would be. Poseidon is pretty much capable of drowning the entire Underworld or exposing it to the Aboveworld if he wants to, so who's actually the more problematic brother? The one who can maintain his calm and control and understands better how distructive power can be, or the one whose anger was on the edge of breaking the border between the realms of the living and the dead?
What if people would stop completely changing the original personalities of the Greek Gods and create more headcanons and fanfictions based on what's actually stated (or at least what is suggested/more plausible) in the myths?
I can't keep having the same conversations about love languages, mbti, iq, bmi, "brain fully formed at 25" and shit over and over again...
