Adult, Writer, writes fanfic in my spare time. Pronouns: She/HerFandoms: too many to name.

480 posts

Hauntedwizardtree - Tumblr Blog

8 months ago
So Who's Listening To Epic The Musical

so who's listening to Epic the Musical

9 months ago

Skywalkers are immortal eldritch fucks (there’s so many ways this can go)

1. How does being half-force affect Anakin as a force ghost

Anakin… wasn’t properly dead. just a bit too present, a bit too lively, and that if only someone pulled hard enough on the veil, he could be made to bleed again.

Anakin just keeps coming back to life, And so do Luke and Leia when they die.

“You’ve done it, you’ve killed Anakin fucking Skywalker. Wait, why is he standing behind you? Where’s his body gone? Oh fuck, what is that expression? Oh no!”

This happens to Vader and terrifies the f*ck out of literally everyone

the man is the son of the Force, yes? how could he “become one with it” if he basically already was part of it? or at least, made of it?

It’d be either kinda horrifying or basically a regenerate-your-limbs get out of jail free card

Anakin turns up in Luke’s temple one day, like “hey turns out I can’t die”

Luke is just happy to have a Dad

imagine the backlash if that little factoid ever went public. “What do you mean Darth Vader can’t die???”

“You mean he’s alive right now????”

Obi-Wan realising he can’t have a peaceful retirement in the afterlife because Anakin’s apparently immortal now

Anakin starts trying to figure out how to make Obi wan immortal too

Ahsoka is so confused at everything

“You look a lot like the Hero with No Fear from the Clone Wars. Are you his grandson or something?" 

"Nope, I am him." 

"Freaking weird Jedi and their not aging.”

 2. how terrifying it would have been if during the Dooku fight in AOTC his arm just regrew the moment it was cut off

3. them realizing this during the clone wars: CHECKMATE BITCHES

imagine the propaganda if there was a General who literally couldn’t die

the Seperatists wouldn’t know which way was up anymore

Anakin realised he had this sort of ability during the clone wars it would be hilarious to see him just throwing himself at things

he could protect his men better

Imagine how distressing it would be for a shiny to just see their general die and then come back seconds later

And Rex being like “Yep, the general does that.”

just rubbing his eyes. and being completely done

Imagine the bitching sessions with Cody “At least yours resurrects! Mine just runs off without his kriffing lightsaber and armor all the time!”

clone boys have a heart attack whenever their general just decides to regrow limbs

rex faints the first time he sees anakin’s arm grow back.

instead of the whole “my general keeps losing his lightsaber” it becomes “my general keeps losing his arm”

“My general keeps dying.”

“Oh, how many have you been assigned to now?”

“No, no, he gets better again afterwards.”

the 501st never tell the shinies that their general is immortal because the vets like to fuck around like that

it’s kind of a right of passage for shinies to almost have a heart attack when the general comes back from the dead

Anakin is basically just the “if all else fails” option at that point because no matter what happens to him, he will be back at the temple annoying the hell out of everyone before dinner time

Anakin gets mortally wounded and is like “Well, I’ll see you in five.”

Droids: * shoot Anakin *

 * Anakin: * dies * 

Anakin, 5 minutes later in the middle of a crowd of droids: SURPRISE BITCHES!! * Murders them all *

Anakin dying to Dooku at the end of Attack of the Clones and then coming back and Dooku just being like “Fuck this shit I’m out.”

him coming back and chasing dooku with his arm

Imagine the moment they find out Anakin can come back from the dead:

Ahsoka and Obi-Wan just sobbing their hearts out and then suddenly he’s behind them like “Hey, bold of you to presume I’m mortal.”

He pulls a Percy Jackson, and walks into his funeral.

mace windu utters a quiet “are you fucking kidding me”

next time anakin dies, his funeral includes a “welcome home anakin” banner

Mace stops letting the Yoda Lineage have funerals because they don’t stay dead

They keep having funerals for Anakin just as an excuse to have a party

what if politicians don’t know this. like the first time he dies during the war, and all the diplomats are there. Except Padme. She knows all and is just there to see the chaos.

They’re usually private funerals, so they can keep inviting new people to screw with

“general skywalker just died”

“senator he’s right here”

“i saw him die protecting me right before my eyes”

“senator do you need the healers?”

Obi-Wan, just watched Anakin go splat at the bottom of a ravine:

“ANAKIN!!”

Anakin, popping back into the mortal coil just behind him: “Yeah? What’s up?”

obi-wan finding out about a Anakins thing and keeping it a secret,

so one day anakin dies and the whole council is like, mourning

obi-wan is just rolling his eyes and saying “it’s fine he’ll be back”

everyone thinks obi-wans having a mental breakdown

but then anakin walks into his funeral with a cup of caf and sunglasses and flashes everyone a peace sign

All of Yoda’s lineage (except dooku) and padme know.

“can you guys not cover me in white next time? it’s pretty boring”

“can i get, like, glitter? is that a thing? make it a thing”

Skywalkers can also breath in space.

They just don’t have to breathe. 

4. THE FORCE IS A PROACTIVE PARENT IN THIS (AND AGENDER) (THEY/THEM PRONOUNS)

during the time it takes for him to resurrect, the force and anakin talked.

Bc that’s the only time he could talk with a tangible parent.

he learns about palps that way

one time Anakin dies twice in one day

turns out the ability has a bit of a cooldown time so everyone’s just panicking a bit because he should be back by now

then he appears like three days later

Obi-Wan’s like “You bastard.”

“Gotta keep you on your toes.”

Really his parent just wanted some more time with him, and who was he to refuse?

a cracky! anakin basically having annual dinners with The Force because of how often he dies in the clone wars

in this verse the clone wars was created so Anakin & his parent The Force can have family dinners

Mortis, but instead of All That Nonsense, it’s just a nice episode of meet the parent

padme dies, and then at her funeral she comes back, but force sensitive.

force sensitive, immortal, padme amidala. The seppies are going DOWN

The Force wills Padme to die because The Force wants to meet their daughter in law

It does this for basically everyone Anakin cares about

sometimes anakin and padme just drop dead, and wake up a few hours later bc they had a family dinner to get to.

“I’m going to kill you” is suddenly the literal way for Anakin to say “I love you”

Anakin dies on Mandalore and Satine witnesses it and she’s horrified and doesn’t know what to tell Obi-Wan but then she sees Obi-Wan talking to Anakin and she’s so confused

So if anakin kills you and you’re someone he cares about you come back to life immortal.

Death By Skywalker basically being a way of becoming immortal is gonna fuck with the war so much

when Palpatine tells Anakin to kill all the jedi he thinks Palpatine is telling him to invite all the jedi to his Force Family Dinner

One day the entire Jedi temple just dies all at once, and comes back a couple hours later, to the confusion of literally everyone (including the Jedi)

yoda is frequently killed to spend time with the force because after 900 years the two of them are tight as fuck

Anakin doesn’t have attachment issues in this bc hey, people die all the time! :)

He also ends up being worshipped as a demigod.

More Angsty version of this: young anakin kills palps bc he thinks he’ll resurrect, but then the tangible form of the force appears and explains that he was the sith master.

Palpatine would probably actually try to get Anakin to kill him, because hey! Free immortality! Don’t mind if i do!

5. Imagine if this was something he discovered as a little kid. Anakin going off to visit Qui-Gon in the force and Obi-Wan wondering what eldritch beast he has ended up with as a padawan

“Anakin what are you doing?”

“I’m making master Qui-Gon a friendship bracelet?”

“…master qui gon?”

“yeah! i gave one to my parent yesterday and master qui-gon said he wanted one too!”

“Your parent? when exactly was this yesterday?”

anakin being a convoy for dead masters and their old padawans like Weed Dad qui gon jinn and his Struggling Son obi wan

anakin has two parents

Parent and Mom

9 months ago

Prompt/Headcanon:

Merlin was conceived the same day as the first unjust death under Uther’s purge, the first murder born of one man’s guilt and hate.

The people cried out to Magic for help.

He was already on his way.

9 months ago

quick protip: if someone is crying or freaking out over something minor, eg wifi not connecting, can’t find their hat, people talking too loud, do NOT tell them how small or petty the problem is to make it better. they know. they would probably love to calm down. you are doing the furthest possible thing from helping. people don’t have to earn expressions of feelings.

9 months ago

Athena, who probably got handed baby Telemachus, looked at Odysseus, and went “what the fuck Ody. It’s underdeveloped. Send it back to fully form.”

9 months ago

Ha a lélek vándorlásában hiszünk, el kell fogadnunk hogy ha zenészek voltunk, zenészek maradunk akkor is, ha négy lábbal újraszületünk..

9 months ago

I am seriously craving a “Legolas is older than the Sun and Moon” fanfic, with not even Gandalf knowing precisely how old he is (it would be funny if Legolas, his parents and grandparents are so old they kind of lost track a long time ago)

just like, the fanfics that I’ve read that discuss Legolas’s age have him born in the third or second age. I think I’ve found one that had him born around the fall of Doriath (also maybe one or two where he turned out to be one of the missing uncles of Elrond, if I remember right?). But they are not very common, from what I can tell.


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9 months ago

I like in the Fellowship of the Rings where they are standing outside the big ass door with the riddle “Speak friend and enter” thing. 

And then they’re like, what’s friend in elvish and Legolas just stands there and says nothing.

9 months ago
This Hit Me Like A Truck
This Hit Me Like A Truck

this hit me like a truck

9 months ago

confusing Odysseus and Orpheus is like confusing a liar and a lyre. send post

9 months ago

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again but it is absolutely an example of civilizational inadequacy that only deaf people know ASL

“oh we shouldn’t teach children this language, it will only come in handy if they [checks notes] ever have to talk in a situation where it’s noisy or they need to be quiet”

9 months ago

no but really, like 

i know that some folks love telling creative people that “you should be doing it for fun because you love it not for the compliments” but creative people thrive on feedback whether it’s critical or just complimentary

so when i write fanfiction and don’t get any actual feedback i feel like i spent all that time and energy doing it for nothing because i’m not getting feedback from the people i wrote it for 

doing something you’re proud of and then presenting it to the sound of utter silence is like the worst feeling on earth 


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9 months ago

PSA: Paypal on some more shady shit

PSA: Paypal On Some More Shady Shit

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PSA: Paypal On Some More Shady Shit

tag an artist save a life etc

9 months ago

Weird Egg?

Okay so in theory, Obi-Wan was plausibly on Mandalore when Anakin was born, right?

(this is technically a variation on a few other fics and AUs I've seen, and I'll list the stuff that came to mind at the end.)

While on Mandalore, Obi-Wan finds An Egg while hiding in a cave with Satine. And he doesn't recognize it, and Satine doesn't recognize it, and even Qui-Gon doesn't recognize it.

Which makes it weird, at the very least, and probably rare. It's the size of his HEAD and even though there's no parent around, the egg is… warm, now? He didn't notice at first, but it's definitely producing at least some of its own heat.

So Obi-Wan brings the egg with him, which is a pain in the ass in terms of maneuvering, but they do seem to have better luck avoiding Death Watch than before, which uh. Given that the egg feels warmer when they're getting lucky, and seems to glow in the Force, they think might not be a coincidence. A lucky rock, except it's alive.

Mission ends. Obi-Wan plans to take the egg back to the temple for study in case they just discovered Something, and as he's saying goodbye to Satine… the egg Hatches.

It is a dragon.

The dragon can project words into Obi-Wan's mind. It's not quite capable of complex thoughts yet, but it's a he (probably), and has a name (Anakin!), and considers the person who's been carrying him and protecting him and keeping him warm for the past six months to be his mom!

Obi-Wan protests at this. Qui-Gon decides to make his life harder with the 'correction' that Obi-Wan would be a dad, not a mom.

So now Obi-Wan has a small dragon which will be growing to the size of a house, that imprinted on him and is following him home and calling him dad and insisting on sleeping in his bed

Idk if you've ever read Septimus Heap, but… the MC of that found a Fancy Rock, put it in his bag, carried it around for a YEAR because he kept forgetting to take it out of his bag, and then it hatched into a dragon. And I kept thinking about that the whole time I wrote this.

In Obi-Wan's defense, he does Have A Plan.

Until the dragon hatches, turns out to be a sapient as a toddler (with promise of growth), and calls him Dad.

And now the plan is gone.

He just wanted to bring a cool egg back to the Temple for study!

And now the Mandalorians are pulling out old books about whatever the fuck this is because these things APPARENTLY went extinct around the same time as the underwater dragon-adjacent thing that is the Mythosaur.

Obi-Wan learns that supposedly the eggs are inert until something with the Force interacts with it in a Purposeful Manner.

Which includes "probing it a little to see if whatever is inside is actually alive."

Anakin's a standard western dragon that can breathe fire because Flyte. Also this post.

Weeeee okay small text for the references I mentioned.

Obviously, first up is the Septimus Heap series by Angie Sage, specifically Magyk and Flyte.

The fic series I was thinking of initially that kind of jumpstarted the AU process was Boga Service Varactyl AU, but specifically Kenobi Kafé Service Animal Boga AU.

I've been seeing a couple of dragon shapeshifter AUs, including that post I linked earlier from @ahsoka-in-a-hood, @bubblew0lf1's dragon shapeshifter AU, and @squad-724's Dragon Jedi AU has been all over my dash for the past few days.

Stubborn to the Bones by @tideswept, which was part of what had me connecting the various dots of Obi-Wan Finding Animal Anakin on a mission, though our outcomes are admittedly very different lol. (Their fic is shippy, and mine is more decidedly gen/familial with a slight nod to Obitine.)

9 months ago

the problem with being creative is that you start to feel very guilty when you haven’t created anything in a while

9 months ago

Yknow what I LOVE about the Star Trek fandom? It’s ANCIENT. I had a talk with a nice old lady at the old persons home that my great grandma is in and she noticed my Spock shirt and was like “oh I love that show I thought the premise was lovely” and you all know THE PREMISE is trekspeak for spirk and I was like “do you accept the premise because I do” and she looked at me with the eyes of someone who is reliving their otp moments and she said “the premise is all I wrote about, dear” and we just talked about spirk for a hella long time and I just love how age doesn’t matter in this fandom you can be ninety and still be the biggest spirk bitch ever how rad is that

9 months ago

I love three year olds because they’ll never say it to your face but it’s clear in every fibre of their being that they’re certain that their communications skills are perfect, and any adults who can’t understand what they want are just a little bit stupid.

9 months ago

burning text gif maker

heart locket gif maker

minecraft advancement maker

minecraft logo font text generator w/assorted textures and pride flags

windows error message maker (win1.0-win11)

FromSoftware image macro generator (elden ring Noun Verbed text)

image to 3d effect gif

vaporwave image generator

microsoft wordart maker (REALLY annoying to use on mobile)

you're welcome


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9 months ago

A polyamorous thruple are taking a hike through the forest when they find a weird rock and lift it. From under the rock a pixie comes out.

"Thank you for freeing me. I am a pixie of love, and as thanks I'll give a gift of gold to each of you. But the gift will only go to the one you love most."

The first member of the thruple says "but I love both my partners equally."

"Then I cannot give you the gift." the pixie replies.

"I'm okay with that. My love is more important."

The second member also says "I also love both my partners equally"

"Then I cannot give you the gift either."

"I'm okay with that. My love is more important."

Finally the third member says "I love this one the most." much to shock of both partners.

"Then they shall receive my gift." the pixie says, grants the gift of gold and then vanishes.

After the pixie left, the first member says "I can't believe you don't love us equally!" and the second member concurs.

Then the third member sighs and then says "I love you both equally and very much so, but fucking hell are you stupid."

9 months ago

The epic the musical fans have decided that Athena doesn’t know what baby’s are. And that got me thinking if that’s the reason she doesn’t like Percy. Because she doesn’t think he’s got enough brains to have a kid??????

(Although Percy did confirm that Zeus didn’t either so maybe Athena is trying to prevent another Zeus)

Edit: I can’t spell

9 months ago

I read it and I love it so much! Poor Odysseus though, the Fates hate him apparently.

okay so in the tags of my reblogs i've been yapping about how percy's use of trickery and manipulation reminds me a lot of odysseus and how fitting it would be for percy and annabeth to essentially be modern-day odysseus and penelope

but ultimately i think it would be so funny if athena sees the resemblance. like even if percy isnt odysseus reincarnated, it'd be so funny if she saw echoes of the person who was basically her favorite pet in her rival's child. a rival's child who is dating her favorite daughter without her approval, mind you. imagine this with me: athena just. grumbling to herself because she wants to hate percy completely but she can't. because if he was anyone other than poseidon's son she would've been so happy to indulge herself in his lies and deception and happier to see him with annabeth. you know how, in the odyssey, athena convinces eos to let the dawn rise a little later so odysseus and penelope can enjoy the night of their reunion a little longer? that is how much she would've shipped percabeth. perhaps even a bit more.

and the only thing that would be funnier is if poseidon is absolutely oblivious to how much percy - his beloved son, his favorite son - resembles the man he tried his best to drown thousands of years ago. the hilarity of it all


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9 months ago
I Could Think Of No Better Way To Share The News Than This!

I could think of no better way to share the news than this!

So when I was 17, my cat went missing and I'd given up hope of ever seeing him again.

Until on Monday, 27th of May, 2024, my friend sent me a FB post asking 'isn't that your mother?' about the person named on the microchip.

I Could Think Of No Better Way To Share The News Than This!

Here he is! 16 years old, and found safe, twelve whole years after he went missing!

Yesterday (Tuesday the 28th of May, 2024) I went to the rescue that had him, and I reclaimed my boy, renaming him Artie! (He'd originally been called 'Cat' because my mother and I couldn't decide on a name)

He's home safe with me now, currently inhabiting my bathroom and purring up a storm every time someone goes in there!

I'll be doing slow introductions between him and my current cat to give them the best possible chance of living in harmony!

Here's some pictures of Artie once we let him out of the carrier:

I Could Think Of No Better Way To Share The News Than This!
I Could Think Of No Better Way To Share The News Than This!
I Could Think Of No Better Way To Share The News Than This!
I Could Think Of No Better Way To Share The News Than This!
9 months ago

Anybody else know that feeling when you think about a fanfic you haven’t read in years and you want to read it again but you can’t remember the author or the title, all you know is the plot and that it was so damn good and you have no idea how to find it?