This Hit Me Like A Truck

this hit me like a truck

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again but it is absolutely an example of civilizational inadequacy that only deaf people know ASL

“oh we shouldn’t teach children this language, it will only come in handy if they [checks notes] ever have to talk in a situation where it’s noisy or they need to be quiet”

Weird Egg?

Okay so in theory, Obi-Wan was plausibly on Mandalore when Anakin was born, right?

(this is technically a variation on a few other fics and AUs I've seen, and I'll list the stuff that came to mind at the end.)

While on Mandalore, Obi-Wan finds An Egg while hiding in a cave with Satine. And he doesn't recognize it, and Satine doesn't recognize it, and even Qui-Gon doesn't recognize it.

Which makes it weird, at the very least, and probably rare. It's the size of his HEAD and even though there's no parent around, the egg is… warm, now? He didn't notice at first, but it's definitely producing at least some of its own heat.

So Obi-Wan brings the egg with him, which is a pain in the ass in terms of maneuvering, but they do seem to have better luck avoiding Death Watch than before, which uh. Given that the egg feels warmer when they're getting lucky, and seems to glow in the Force, they think might not be a coincidence. A lucky rock, except it's alive.

Mission ends. Obi-Wan plans to take the egg back to the temple for study in case they just discovered Something, and as he's saying goodbye to Satine… the egg Hatches.

It is a dragon.

The dragon can project words into Obi-Wan's mind. It's not quite capable of complex thoughts yet, but it's a he (probably), and has a name (Anakin!), and considers the person who's been carrying him and protecting him and keeping him warm for the past six months to be his mom!

Obi-Wan protests at this. Qui-Gon decides to make his life harder with the 'correction' that Obi-Wan would be a dad, not a mom.

So now Obi-Wan has a small dragon which will be growing to the size of a house, that imprinted on him and is following him home and calling him dad and insisting on sleeping in his bed

Idk if you've ever read Septimus Heap, but… the MC of that found a Fancy Rock, put it in his bag, carried it around for a YEAR because he kept forgetting to take it out of his bag, and then it hatched into a dragon. And I kept thinking about that the whole time I wrote this.

In Obi-Wan's defense, he does Have A Plan.

Until the dragon hatches, turns out to be a sapient as a toddler (with promise of growth), and calls him Dad.

And now the plan is gone.

He just wanted to bring a cool egg back to the Temple for study!

And now the Mandalorians are pulling out old books about whatever the fuck this is because these things APPARENTLY went extinct around the same time as the underwater dragon-adjacent thing that is the Mythosaur.

Obi-Wan learns that supposedly the eggs are inert until something with the Force interacts with it in a Purposeful Manner.

Which includes "probing it a little to see if whatever is inside is actually alive."

Anakin's a standard western dragon that can breathe fire because Flyte. Also this post.

Weeeee okay small text for the references I mentioned.

Obviously, first up is the Septimus Heap series by Angie Sage, specifically Magyk and Flyte.

The fic series I was thinking of initially that kind of jumpstarted the AU process was Boga Service Varactyl AU, but specifically Kenobi Kafé Service Animal Boga AU.

I've been seeing a couple of dragon shapeshifter AUs, including that post I linked earlier from @ahsoka-in-a-hood, @bubblew0lf1's dragon shapeshifter AU, and @squad-724's Dragon Jedi AU has been all over my dash for the past few days.

Stubborn to the Bones by @tideswept, which was part of what had me connecting the various dots of Obi-Wan Finding Animal Anakin on a mission, though our outcomes are admittedly very different lol. (Their fic is shippy, and mine is more decidedly gen/familial with a slight nod to Obitine.)

I am seriously craving a “Legolas is older than the Sun and Moon” fanfic, with not even Gandalf knowing precisely how old he is (it would be funny if Legolas, his parents and grandparents are so old they kind of lost track a long time ago)

just like, the fanfics that I’ve read that discuss Legolas’s age have him born in the third or second age. I think I’ve found one that had him born around the fall of Doriath (also maybe one or two where he turned out to be one of the missing uncles of Elrond, if I remember right?). But they are not very common, from what I can tell.

A polyamorous thruple are taking a hike through the forest when they find a weird rock and lift it. From under the rock a pixie comes out.

"Thank you for freeing me. I am a pixie of love, and as thanks I'll give a gift of gold to each of you. But the gift will only go to the one you love most."

The first member of the thruple says "but I love both my partners equally."

"Then I cannot give you the gift." the pixie replies.

"I'm okay with that. My love is more important."

The second member also says "I also love both my partners equally"

"Then I cannot give you the gift either."

"I'm okay with that. My love is more important."

Finally the third member says "I love this one the most." much to shock of both partners.

"Then they shall receive my gift." the pixie says, grants the gift of gold and then vanishes.

After the pixie left, the first member says "I can't believe you don't love us equally!" and the second member concurs.

Then the third member sighs and then says "I love you both equally and very much so, but fucking hell are you stupid."

Anybody else know that feeling when you think about a fanfic you haven’t read in years and you want to read it again but you can’t remember the author or the title, all you know is the plot and that it was so damn good and you have no idea how to find it?