Hazedwords - HazedWords

𝐒𝐧𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫

Day Four, Torn

Drabble - Fluff

Warnings: mild cursing

(Sorry the post is a bit late, yesterday I went to get my phone fixed, and the man who ‘fixed’ my phone, messed up my back camera. It took a while to get a refund)

“____”

Severus' weary form entered the room, his steps heavy from a long day's work. He cradled a steamy mug of coffee in his hands, the aroma mingling with the quiet hum of winter seclusion. His dark hair was unkempt, a testament to the hours spent hunched over his work, but his gaze, heavy-lidded yet sharp, found mine as he leaned against the doorframe.

"Yes?" I inquired, setting my knitting tools and unfinished project aside, the soft woolen blanket and half-knit glove sitting patiently on the coffee table next to me.

With an almost strained voice, he revealed that Minerva had requested our help in decorating for the Halloween Ball.

Though he attempted to mask it, his dislike for the task was apparent. Since our marriage, I had been the designated decorator of our home, handling all festive touches. Despite his aversion to decorating, he never complained, readily taking on the role of chef and housecleaner. His expression exuded a mixture of resignation and reluctance, but his agreement to help was evident.

“Let’s get started then. We might have some old Halloween decorations stored away," I suggested to my husband as he approached and sat down beside me. He didn’t respond; instead, he leaned against me and planted a kiss on my neck, remaining silent.

“_____” Severus croaked, his voice cracking from his long day of yelling at students no doubt. He looked at me with tired eyes, kissing me on the lips as I faced him.

He gently reached a hand behind my head, pulling me closer to him and deepening the kiss. He put a hand down on the cushion of the chair I was on to steady himself.

Suddenly, a rip of fabric rang out in the room. Severus and I both looked down to search for the source of the sound.

“Shit.” Severus grumbled.

“Shit indeed. The chair is torn!” I glared at my husband. Yet, I could never stay angry at him for long anyways.

Severus kissed me softly, gently caressing my cheek in the kiss. “Sorry love.”

How J.K. Rowling felt after basing Snape on her chemistry teacher (who she quite incorrectly thought hated her) thinking he would never see it (he was good friends with her mother, loved the series, and wrote magical beast fanfiction because he — and I have many sources for this — was a mega-nerd, autistic, multi-talented, innately wizard-ish Welshman).

I looked into this guy because I was wondering what he could have possibly done to get Snape, of all characters, based on him. The only thing I could find was that apparently J.K. Rowling took his autistic socializing as “he doesn’t like me” and that this guy was actually a really nice person. Like, unusually so. I went to read up on it again for the sake of this post and had a bunch of “Oh, that’s right; he totally did have a restroom with disabled access installed in the science department for J.K. Rowling’s T.A. mother who was ill” moments, some “Oh, that’s right; he totally was a pillar of his community who went around doing welfare checks on people with violent exes even when he was on his deathbed” moments, some, “Oh yeah, he totally was a feminist who lobbied for women’s rights on a regular basis (my uncle who likes Harry Potter joked that this is why J.K. Rowling didn’t like him)” moments, and some “Oh, yeah; he totally did used to compare his chemistry class to potion making and wizards when kids got bored and sing about it in Welsh with wizard robes on randomly throughout and at the end of the year like a freaking nerd years before Harry Potter was even conceived” moments.

TL;DR: This has been a J.K. Rowling are you fucking kidding me post and also Snape is a feminist by proxy; I don’t make the rules.

Lily Evans wasn't Severus' friend.

I had a best friend in middle school. We'll call him John.

We were awkward, funny 12-years-olds, we were strange, we liked to draw and watch horror movies and we talked about everything. We knew it was almost just he and I, 'cause we knew we were losers. We were treated as losers, we didn't come from wealthy families like our classmates, I was the only girl in school with short dark hair, I had facial hair and I wasn't even self-conscious about them 'cause I still had to figure out what it meant to be a young woman. I wore large trousers and big sweaters, I felt comforted in male clothes because I knew guys thought I was ugly and strange. He had a big, hooked nose. Beautiful blu eyes, but nobody actually cared. He wasn't that good in sports, if not swimming like me. We were losers, but we were fine, we had fun together.

Then, something happened.

It started because of my shoes. I was wearing a pair of white and red sneakers, red was my favorite color. It wasn't branded, it was pretty cheap. Another guy (cool guy, cool kid, rich spoiled kid, idiotic kid) started mocking me, he called me ragamuffin. I didn't say anything, I looked him with angry eyes.

Next day it became ugly mokey.

Another day it was ya look like a rat, ya know? Do ya like lookin' like a rat?

Then it became are you a lesbian? Come on, you look like a man, you're a lesbian! (and tho I obviously do not consider being a member of the lgbtq+ community something bad, he did), and he laughed. Everybody laughed. Not John.

We couldn't do anything we just went on with this, I faked it didn't matter for a long time, but then...

spoiled-kid said something to John. Something as nasty and disgusting as the things he said to me and John felt hurt. Now he knew what it meant. I suppose he felt scared, lonely, mocked. He felt ugly.

When we met outside school he felt ashamed of being my friend and, instead of standing up for me he mocked me, together with that guy and his friends. We lived nearby and he followed me with the others and I heard him laughing and when finally it was just the two of them, eventually it resulted is a physical fight. I ended with a scar on my hand. I remember the next day at school I found him sit at my desk and I told him to leave, I told him you smell like an asshole, go away. Days went by, I didn't talk to him, he looked at me as I had broken his heart.

In the end, he wrote me a letter, he said he was sorry, he sad he felt alone, he said I was his only friend and you know what... I forgave. We were friends again. We were still losers, but still together, he was, indeed, still my friend and I forgave him because I knew what it meant to be alone and I didn't want him to be, because I understood why he did what he did.

We had known each other for years and had been good friends for years, until our paths parted, but neither of us ever suffered because of the other again.

So now, tell me.

Why didn't Lily Evans forgive Snape? She knew what he went through, where he came from, whose his parents were and he was being abused in front of her: he was broken, he was being sexually assaulted in front of the school, he had no other friends if not the only who showed mercy, the Slytherins. He had nobody.

Lily Evans used the opportunity to get rid of a friend who was inconvenient, she used that situation to erase Severus from the rest of her life, knowing full well in what situation she was abandoning him. Lily Evans wasn't Severus' friend.

𝐒𝐧𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫

Day Six, Roots

Drabble - Fluff/Angst..?

Warnings: persistent reader, relationship boundaries possibly being ignored

Prompt list: @superfallingstars

(I understand how late this is… bear with me)

Check out my pinned post on my page for more Snapetober content!

As far back as I could remember, Severus had never been one for flowers. He found them messy and unpleasant, for whatever reasons.

Sure, he found use for every plant that crossed his path, from mint to foxglove. Though, he never used flowers for decoration, or ‘childish distractions’ as he called them. He was blind of the beauty they beheld, I thought I would simply have to remind him.

Of course, he never dismissed me for liking and using flowers, yet he never used them himself for anything beside potions. He pretended as if they didn’t exist.

Looking back into the very early days of our relationship, I realize that I might have pestered him too much. I asked him, many times, why he never got me flowers. I suspect it might have been the pressure I put on him, as one morning, a small lavender sprig lie on top of my bedside table.

Of course, this did not let up my interest as of why he avoided flowers so much. But of course, the answer was the same as it always was:

“They are nothing but a burden. Blooming for a minute, then shriveling up and withering.”

One dark and particularly dreary evening, Severus and I were lying in bed. His left arm over my torso as his chest was facing my back. His breath was hot on my ear as we simply lie there, enjoying one another’s company.

Then, Severus whispered into my ear softly. “Flowers remind me of my roots.”

Finally, I was satisfied with an answer.

𝐒𝐧𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫

Day Five, Pillow

Headcannon

Warnings: mild cursing, my opinions

Prompt list: @superfallingstars

(This post was late - yesterday and today have been decently hectic days for me.)

Let’s start off by saying something most likely cannon: Severus does not get nearly enough sleep at all.

From juggling two jobs, having to grade around 700 students worth of paper, to being a double spy and still have time to have a mental breakdown every once in a while; Severus is stretched thin.

It’s no wonder in that one scene he pops out in his normal day robes in the middle of the goddamn night. He hasn’t slept a wink.

Oh, and to top it all off (but not really) Severus gets nightmares every time he falls asleep. He has never had one night where he has fallen asleep and stayed asleep and woken up refreshed. He will jolt awake out of fear from a nightmare.

A ‘full nights sleep’ for Severus is four hours continuously interrupted by nightmares and five cups of dark coffee in the morning.

JKR continues to confuse me with the choices she made for these characters.

Quote from an old interview when she was asked about how Lily’s feelings changed for James…

Seems she’s implying that Lily was attracted to James even when he was actively bullying her best friend.