Familiarity Shrinks The World By Defeating The Mysterious And Bringing To Light Every Fear Draped Under

Familiarity shrinks the world by defeating the mysterious and bringing to light every fear draped under the cloak of the unknown. Where once I used to crawl over untrodden land I have now become accustomed to my worn in footprints. They mark the places I have been, the areas I no longer fear for I am now comfortable among their confines. Even the slightest bit of unease would deter me from returning and recognizing my own familiar marking. But here I am, situated within my skin and finally claiming it as my own. The fear is eradicated, the shadows of the unknown finally lifted. Yes it is still a large vessel suited for a lifetime to be filled with journeys to corners, limbs, and ventricles. I do not contradict myself. I always foster the idea of today - the lack of belief in a promised tomorrow. So if the day's end is when my days end I shall leave this earth with an empty, untraversed expanse of land I have just begun to see. Maybe there will come a time when all territory within the borders of this skin will be mine to claim. As for now the familiarity is still within the tiny comfort zones of what I want to know of this foreign land.

Torches

It is quite true what philosophy says; that life must be understood backwards. But then one forgets the other principle: that it must be lived forwards.

When our paths became subjects of serendipity I believed they had merged permanently, that somehow our footprints would always be paired by our own combined sense of direction. However, at one point or another the cracks began to show the early signs of divergence. Soon you went on your way and I mine, but I always believed that in the darkness of uncertainty you would find your way back to me - I carried a torch for you. It held the flames of hope and possibility for our future which at one time ignited a passion bright enough to quell the fears of darkness. That was a time ago, and I've come to realize that the rag was soaked with memories which hold eternal in a time long past. Every second that passes steals something from you while depositing it into those moments because while the man in those memories, the man I love, holds eternal you continue to remain forever changed by life decaying on your path. At a time I believed the vision of me holding a light for you to follow would change you back into who you once were. Sadly I was naive in believing a person can change another. We can only watch as time strips off layers of each person and reveals the result of experience mixing subcutaneously with the soul. I watched and I waited but I wept for the layers and recoiled at the sight of a man I barely recognized. If you bore any semblance to the treasured memories of mine it was all in physicality and even that had succumb to the murderous hands of time.  

Alas, the fire is no longer as luminous at it once was. The emaciated dreams of our youth are slowly burning and catching flight with the dancing smoke of our ashen hopes disintegrating ceaselessly into an abyss of forgotten flames. The light is lost and the torch rendered useless. There is nothing left of you for me to hold.

The Chase

Her lines and curves appeal to an image you've perfected. They go along with the carefully cultivated personality which is so perfectly compatible with yours. Every one of her steps are followed closely with yours and yet you can never really seem to get a grip on her. She constantly escapes you yet you still reach for her. Yet, you're never deterred as your smile widens when she eludes you. All her evasion does is increase your adrenaline, causing you to run faster.

However, this girl will always be faster. She will always escape you because she escapes the realms of reality. You've crafted your own ideal woman and have chased through the distances of your imagination, constantly laying down new foundation for an ever increasing pedestal where her image rests. The worse part is that you've attached her shadow to me, because you need some physical representation to convince yourself you are not deluded. I feel the only way for you to understand the extent of your delusion would be to accede to your requests and show you just how imperfect I am in comparison to the girl you imagine I am. Your 'love' for me is clouded with your imagination which fuels a chase with no actual target.

The silence hangs heavily in the air, and just like your scent it has an overbearing presence which haunts me long after you've gone. The omnipresence of this silence becomes all consuming until I am sufficiently drenched in solitude. The atmosphere is devoid of what once was a content living. Spatters of discomfort paint portraits of images I do not wish to face at the moment yet the hands continue to move revealing that the time for retrospection is nigh. However, as those choose to reminisce I am forced to reconcile

myself with the phantasms I have yet to tame. Only then can I concede with the silence in the air that hangs heavy with your scent long after you have gone.

It's human nature to hide the dirtiest , most filthiest aspects of your soul. They are trapped behind the enamel bars of that fragile cage. Few and far between are the purely beautiful birds which escape through that barrier. They sing their sweet yet slight song that can only travel so far before it's forgotten. Yet we continue to follow those notes and hope they portray how beautiful we are. There is a fear of allowing the world to become witness to a darkness which cannot explain; it's who we are. We are cemeteries of secrets buried deep under the surface of our souls. However you stumbled onto the grounds and fearlessly roamed through the rows of monsters awaiting you. The skeletons arise and carry my shame in their marrow as they portray who I am to you. Yet you continue to roam and acquaint yourself with the darkest interior of who I am.

With you I become a well rounded person. You allow me to complete the portrait even with the darkest of hues. You accept the textured edges along with the vacuous spaces which are yet to be filled. I don't think you understand how beautiful that makes me feel.

There's a perpetual state of sadness I reach which is so far past any atmospheric pull that I'm barely reachable by those who care to notice how far I've gone. When once I used to be pulled down by the gravitational pull of love's magnanimity I have been launched into an orbit of dark matter. I know not how to function in any other matter but the one filled with a void. There is no reaching me now.