Me: Oh Hey I Got A Message

Me: Oh hey i got a message

Me: On my... student teaching journal blog?

Me: From... a porn bot...

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Flirting doesn't always have to be smooth. The best kind is the gooey cheesy kind that is so terrible that it makes your heart melt.

pst

If you’re checking this blog because you’ve been followed by it: my main is a sideblog,  @thiscatastrophe. I promise I am real <2

naruto gif challenge :: two villages ↳ [2/2] suna

Fanfiction Tropes that Should be Left in 2006 Where They Belong

Not a comprehensive list, by any means, but I chatted with some folks last night about fanfiction tropes that generally don’t go right. Go ahead and add your own.

I’ll tack this on before anyone mentions it: this list by no means implies that there’s no right way to write a particular trope. I believe there’s a good way to handle any writing situation. These are just the ones that... don’t usually get good treatment.

The “I’m an Eroguro Writer and Even I’m Kinkshaming You” list:

A/B/O

You smell good and I want to put my dick in the smell.

That’s it. That’s the story.

Why would you even bother mentioning betas in the trope name if they’re literally never going to show up? 

Basically a less interesting version of Gor-style BDSM that manages to be slightly more creepy.

Trapped in a Closet Watching Someone Jerk Off

Do I... actually need to explain why this is messed up?

The Classic Yaoi

People still write this? I feel old.

The submissive partner becomes ultra-feminine regardless of their canon portrayal.

Usually contains contrived-ass conflict that no real person would be bothered by.

The “That’s Not How My Job Works” list:

Hot for Teacher

Please don’t.

Seriously, please don’t.

Bonus terrible points if it’s a student/teacher relationship. I don’t care that your submissive is a college student and technically an adult. You know damn well that’s not how it works.

Sad Sex Worker

Contains a mysterious enigma stripper/rent boy/sex worker du jour who our main character can pine after. 

90% of the time starts with said sex worker standing on a bridge in the Big City in the rain, being sad and thinking about their Sad Sex Worker life.

Literally talk to a sex worker one (1) time before you write one of these. 

The “Is This What Kids Like Now?” list:

Chatfic

Listen.

I feel like 90% of the fun is making up character-specific handles.

What’s the other 10? Who knows.

Incredibly Detailed Doing-Someone’s-Makeup Scene

Someone help me I’m lost.

Has anyone lost their grandmother?

It’s me. I’m the grandmother.