Zevran Has A Trait I Deeply Admire In A Fictional Little Man: If Someone Is Mildly Rude To Him He Makes

zevran has a trait I deeply admire in a fictional little man: if someone is mildly rude to him he makes the conscious decision to be AS fucking annoying as possible always

Da2 Varric is amazing because he basically gathered up this group of rag tag idiots and then went 'yep. I think they all need a sugar daddy' and then used his pretty extensive crime network (spy network? Something?) To make sure that each and every one of them was taken care of WITHOUT ANY OF THEM EVEN PROPERLY REALISING THATS WHAT HE WAS DOING (I don't think there's a single scene where he says in front of anyone other than Hawke that he's paying people off to keep away from Anders/Merrill/Fenris etc.) And then he's just like. 'Oh it's me! Your fun neighbour writer with a cool crossbow! Nothing to see here! Btw I covered all of your tabs in the tavern I live in full time despite being probably incredibly rich at this point' (what with the Deep Roads Expedition and the fact that he's out there writing popular serials he's probably got more money than Hawke who's got a mansion). And he checks in on them all under the guise of dropping by but makes it his mission to make them smile (Anders he talks about needing to do so more in particular but you can't tell me he doesn't do that for the rest of them) and then looks at Hawke and is like 'ill follow you wherever you want to go btw. My devotion knows no bounds. Youre in charge. I'm just a simple dwarf whos willing to fund all this madness and protect you when you need it'. And it's like. DUDE. DUDE. Your vibes are immaculate.

My big dumb Hawke/Varric idea is that Varric felt like he couldn't write himself into Tale of the Champion as a love interest despite it being true and he complained about this so much during cards that one of the others members of the Kirkwall crew finally went "fine just make it me then lol"

And they were kidding except then everybody else spoke up and said it should be them instead, and this culminates in five slightly different editions of the book that are sold in different areas of Thedas. There are ship wars.

What I love about Origins specifically is that all of the main characters are dead.