The Sandwich Minigame Always Screws You Over With The Physics And It's Hilarious Once I Was Making A

the sandwich minigame always screws you over with the physics and it's hilarious 😂 once I was making a sandwich and the damn lettuce and crap I put in it glitched t h r o u g h the lower loaf and fell through the table, so no toppings for me I guess... it's also hilarious that you can choose your own ingredients and it gives you ten m I n u t e s to put stuff in it, cuz you can spend 10 minutes just stacking cheese into a pair of salted loaves of bread. do that in front of arven and he would probably just start screeching lol

Shiver. How’s that pepper.🌶️

audio from this classic

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

Absoluta y completamente necesario

i just like them

arven braid arven braid

this is literally me in class tho. Even down to song choice, ink me up is a ✨ bop ✨ it's honestly the only thing that lets me keep the few brain cells I have left, my classmates are way louder than they reasonably should be.

this is splatoon related i promise