Ya Didn't See This One Coming. Did Ya? Also I'm A Theater Kid Now, Well Again. I Got To Chose Theater

Ya didn't see this one coming. Did ya? Also I'm a theater kid now, well again. I got to chose theater again so I did. Aren't I cool?

Growing up with your starters

Artist:  esasi8794 / Twitter

Three more. Did ya see that one coming?

someone (luthor) starts a smear campaign on Batman. Gothamites know it aint shit but the rest of the world is falling for it. they're clamouring for batman to be kicked off the league even though he is a founding member. jl is indignant. B doesn't care. Jl on record just saying how batman is great and everything, defending their boo with their life. B still doesn't give a shit.

someone pulls interview from two years ago that the world has mostly forgotten about (or just joke about now) of GL saying how hot Batman is.

Someone (luthor) starts a rumour that Batman bewitched the JL (witch trials much?) and that's how he's getting them to ignore his war crimes (yah, the crime of being so goddamn hot!)

PR for Batman is at a record low. It didn't even get this bad when ppl thought he was an actual demon.

Someone (Tim) takes personal offence at the smear campaign and leaks a photo of Batman and Robin online. Three photos. One, batpat. Two, batcuddles. Three, batclimbinggym.

The internet once again falls in love with Batman. Also: BATMAN CLEAR PHOTOS??? ROBIN IS REAL??? BATMAN DADDY? DILF? HOW IS HE SO HOT? ROBIN IS SO CUTE! BUT BATMAN??? DADDY???

tim drake’s snapchat is 90% him making bruce wayne do normal middle-class american things and filming the results. popular youtube compilations include the one where they’re at denny’s at two in the morning and tim keeps trying to get bruce to order a moon over my hammy just so he’ll have to say it, the one where they’re at disneyworld and bruce gets increasingly frazzled culminating in him actually physically picking up gaston for reasons no one can entirely recall, and everyone’s favorite series “bruce wayne doesn’t understand walmart”

You know those anime meta posts along the lines of “I was born with pink hair. The doctors told my parents I was a Main Character and ever since my life has not known peace from demons/spirits/sports competitions/harems who find me”

Well I see that, and I raise you this:

An anime boy whose appearance is, by absolutely anyone’s account, completely and utterly average. Mundane hair. Mundane eyes. Not even glasses to set him the tiniest bit apart. A simple, unmemorable, unrecognizable civilian among a backdrop of millions.

And he has a lot of passions, and a lot of ambitions, which he hones every chance he gets. He’s dabbled in sports and archery and cooking and just about anything you could wrap a competition around. And he’s competed in many of these. Every chance he gets. With all of his passion and all of his might.

He’s crushed by the competition every single time.

Until one day–one day something clicks for him. Something that should have seemed obvious from the start and yet never was–as though everyone, including himself, was unwittingly blind to it. It clicks, when he realizes every kid who’s beaten him in competition, every kid who’s gone on to fame and glory and acclaim, has been some candy-haired gel-spiked ridiculously-dressed fucker. 

There’s some trend there that this Main Character boy can’t explain and can’t understand but he decides, this one time, fuck it. He’ll play along too. He’s got a model train competition in four days, and he’s got nothing more to lose. He hits up the department store, buys the pinkest, noxious-est, fruitiest hair dye he can find, the spikiest hair gel available, and the gaudiest clothes on the thrift rack. He enters the model train competition looking like a bubble gum gijinka.

And he wins.

Suddenly, the other candy-haired contestants notice him. They talk to him. They pledge rivalries. Girls notice him. Judges applaud him. Acclaimed model train aficionados offer him internships across the world. He’s hit on something. 

The main cast expands to cover just about every candy-hair cliche in the book: from the mostly-normal-looking demure school girl with the blue hair to the Naruto-est, yelling-est boy with the red-and-green spiked hair. The cool megane senpais, the purple haired tsunderes, suddenly everyone is interested in him. They’re prodigies and upstarts and underdogs and they truly believe that this main character boy is one of them.

So the main character boy maintains his ruse. He touches up his roots at dawn every morning and carefully attends to his gelled spikes and tells absolutely no one about this great, uncanny, unfathomable secret he’s stumbled upon. He wins his competitions left and right. He racks up the acclaim. He’s hailed as a prodigy of all trades, just now bursting onto the scene, and boils to the top of all his candy-haired peers.

He’s rising up, his every dream within his grasp. Until one day he gets a note under his door, taped to an old picture of his Normal Boring self from middle school, that says “You don’t belong”