I'm Going To Start Calling Lawrence "Larry", And There's Nothing You Can Do About It

I'm going to start calling Lawrence "Larry", and there's nothing you can do about it

IMPORTANT ADDITION !

Ren runs up the stairs on all fours like a kid

Oral exam

Headcanons (hahaha get it??) on how good the btd/tpof characters are with their 👅 Tentatively ranked from best to worst.

No pronouns used, but fem body parts/functions mentioned in most sections. 🔞

The Queen

Knows exactly what she's doing. Will rock your socks right off

She is a bit of a bully though 🙃

Overstimulates you if you've been good, edges you within an inch of your life if you've been bad. Either way, you will end up in tears.

She also just really enjoys it and sometimes gets carried away.

Likes to use her fingers at the same time, so she can feel your reactions.

Canonically good at it, so I don't have grounds to argue otherwise 😅

Very eager to please. Personalizes his technique for you and gets it down to a method.

Measured and precise, like a dancer moving through choreography. Takes it pretty seriously....

... but sometimes he gets really into it and his brain shuts off. Gets sloppy and makes a huge mess (which isn't necessarily bad).

Often absent-mindedly touches himself while he's at it. He'll stop if you tell him to though.

Really likes it when you rock your hips against his face.

Why play piano when he can just play you? ;)

He's merciless. If you're still able to move when he's done, he failed.

Mostly does it when he feels like spoiling you, sometimes does it to knock the brat out of you.

(And sometimes, he just looks at you and gets in his feelings over how happy he is to have you, and can't help himself. He will deny this when confronted.)

Those invisible bonus hands of his are great for keeping you spread wide open for him 👀

Please be loud for him. He loves to hear how good he's making you feel.

He has honed his skill in the same way a swordsmith sharpens a blade.

Which is to say: to lethal effect

It's having you completely at his mercy (and holding you down while you squirm) that does it for him.

More prone to overstimulate than edge, but ultimately he'll do whatever gets the best reaction.

Doesn't usually want to stay down there too long though - he gets impatient for his turn.

Pro tip: pull on his hair. He'll groan nice and deep for you.

Even if he's not super experienced, he's a quick learner and he's devoted to making you feel good.

Tries a lot of things in bed and analyzes your reactions to find out what you like the most, and that experimental nature carries over into this as well.

Likes to give you a challenge (no noise, no squirming, etc) and see how well you do. You'll be rewarded accordingly.

Will edge you until you're begging, but like... lovingly.

Long naga tongue? 👀 He's careful with his teeth though, don't worry 💕

Honestly he finds it kind of relaxing. Get ready to become his go-to method of decompressing after a long day.

He can think of things he'd rather do, but he's still plenty proficient when he deigns to kneel between your legs

"bear in mind, you asked for this," he'll say, and then proceed to overstimulate you into next week.

Likes to make a mess out of you. Between his saliva and your slick, you're going to need a towel for sure.

Related: he will make you squirt or you'll die trying.

Sit on his face, he loves the view. Your expressions, the way you move, the tentacles sliding and coiling around your form.... 😏

Kisses you afterward so you can taste yourself. Might even want you to clean off his face with your tongue.

Anxiety™

Desperately wants to do a good job. Needs to make you feel so good that you fall apart on his tongue.

Requires instruction (gentle instruction, or you'll stress him out more), but makes up for it with diligence.

Somno is your friend here. He feels much more comfortable starting while you're asleep (and by the time you wake up, he'll be too into it to be self-conscious... mostly).

Run your fingers through his hair, pull him closer, tell him how good he is for you. A little positive reinforcement goes a long way with him.

Once his hands start wandering over every inch of you he can reach, you'll know he's finally unwinding.

Messy messy messy. Enthusiastically messy, because he's not doing it for you, he's doing it for him.

Sure, he still wants you to get off (mostly for his own gratification? Probably), but that's not at the forefront of his mind.

You just smell so good and taste so good and he loves getting drunk on you.

Not as careful with his teeth as he probably should be 😬 yank on his hair to remind him to rein them in.

Leaves fingerprint-shaped bruises all over your hips and thighs while he's at it. (He doesn't notice he's squeezing you so hard.)

Vocal. Groans and growls and mutters. Can't seem to stop talking dirty even with his mouth full; sometimes he pulls away just long enough to make sure you hear anything particularly filthy he has to say.

Oh god 😨 you poor thing

Not gentle. He's all teeth and overexcitement. Your pained yelps just add fuel to the fire.

Eventually, your thighs will be covered in bloody/bruising bite marks - and everything in between them will be sore af.

Like Vincent, he does it because he wants to; unlike Vincent, he doesn't give a shit if you come or not.

Luckily, he usually has other things he'd rather do to with you, so you'll probably only be subjected to this treatment in the first place if he's feeling curious, and he may not ever feel the need for a repeat performance.

... unless he discovers that using his mouth on you while you're on your period happens to strongly appeal to him 😱

I'm sorry but.... not only is he not very inclined to service you this way, he's also not very good at it when he does.

You're pretty sure he knows what to do, but he half-asses it because he'd rather switch places with you 🙄

(Don't let him tell you he'll return the favor if you go down on him. He's a liar. Make him reciprocate up front or you'll get nothing.)

Does slightly better in a 69 situation, but only if you pace yourself so that he has incentive to do a good job. If he climaxes before you, it's all over.

Also a bully, but meaner about it than Celia. Likes the whiny, reluctant noises you make. Maybe you don't want him down there after all 😑

Silver lining: he's actually pretty good with his fingers. Ask him to do that instead.

Bonus: Damien

Aims to please, like a gentleman 😌

Prefers to take his time, really slow and sensual, wants you relaxed and blissful.

Squeeze his head with your thighs, he loves it

Bonus: Jack

Another one who's not super into it. Doesn't do much for him.

He's pretty good at it, though, if you can find a way to make it worth his while.

On the uncommon occasion that he does get down to business, he takes pride in how fast he can make you come.

Various BTD characters as cats because I’m bored

Rire - Black longhair with gold eyes

This one felt only natural to me, but I imagine he’d be a black cat with gold eyes. He can either be a short or longhair but I’m saying long because his hair length is long in game. He’s the king of the streets, and all the other cats respect him. He’s belong to a very high class and wealthy household and live a life of luxury when he isn’t outside. His fur feels like silk.

Strade - Brown shorthair with amber eyes

I imagine Strade would be a pudgy brown cat with yellow or amber eyes. I just chose a brown british shorthair because the round face fits him in my mind. He’d be the type of cat to bring home a lot of dead animals and present them to you as presents. He’s also an ankle biter but very playful, and VERY chatty. His fur isn’t the worst but it’s a bit coarse and your hand always smells musky after you pet him. Kind of bad about grooming himself.

Ren - Somali cat

This one was pretty difficult but I imagine Ren to be a cat that by normal standards is probably more expensive than your average kitty. He’s also very chatty like Strade, and absolutely LOVES raw diets. His fur is very light and soft but he sheds a LOT. Weekly brushing is suggested.

Lawrence - Oriental shorthair

I just like to imagine him as one of these. They’re long and funky looking and some of them honk instead of meow. His fur wouldn’t be anything abnormal, and he almost never meows. He also doesn’t eat that much. Has a fascination with roadkill and often brings home dead animals that he just found and didn’t kill himself. I imagine that he might be a stray, and people would always fail to capture him cause he runs off at the idea of any human contact.

Sano - Black and white cat

I don’t have much to say about Sano as a cat. He’s pretty similar to Lawrence in that he doesn’t talk much, and he mostly just keeps to himself. He doesn’t kill things often but when he does, it’s fairly fast and quick, like he knows exactly where to attack to end a life. His fur is fairly normal as well.

Vincent - Maine Coon

Vincent would be a very large cat with a ton of fur. He sheds a lot like Ren. He’s very high maintenance in the idea that if he feels like he’s being ignored, he’ll bite you until you give him affection. He’s a very loyal cat and probably the type to sleep between your legs at night. His fur is soft but he gets matting, and also has a somewhat musky smell after you pet him.

Celia - Ragdoll

Another high maintenance cat, and an expensive one. I imagine Celia would be the type of cat who chooses to stay indoors in her human’s luxurious home. She doesn’t want to be outside with all those filthy toms! She still gets up to trouble however and if she sees a mouse or a rat, she will go out of her way to stalk and kill it. She plays with her kill as well, taunting it until she ends it’s life. Truly a sadistic but gorgeous feline. Her fur feels as soft as a kitten’s and is very high quality. She’s also the type of cat to obsessively lick and clean herself to be perfectly presentable.

Mason - Norwegian Forest Cat

Forest cat that quite literally lives in the forests. He stays in the wild and loves it there. He’s more akin to a big cat than a common household cat in how he acts. He’s a master hunter, and has even taken down small doe before. He would be almost impossible to catch. Like Lawrence, he’d naturally stray away from humans. He could settle down for the right human though if he grows to like them, but he’ll never fully be domesticated. His fur is extremely wind damaged and coarse and musky from being in the wild, but he doesn’t seem to mind.

Derek

I just love this community a lot. We’re always like “How are you doing? Not working too hard I hope? Staying hydrated?”

While our characters stab each other and snort cocaine off each others dicks and stuff

my very first komodo/dragon fanart