I Dont Think Ppl Realize Just How Much Of An ATROCIOUS Wifeguy Harvey Would Be After The Farmer Marries

i dont think ppl realize just how much of an ATROCIOUS wifeguy harvey would be after the farmer marries him. and like god forbid you have kids with him. he is “stick figure family sticker on the back of the minivan” waiting to happen

like /w sdv a lot of the other bachelor/ettes are just kinda like “cool that we’re married now this is a sweet gig” but like harvey is ALL up in yuor business all the time abt how becoming a porch swinging tradwife living on a farm has saved his lonely failcringe doctor life and he loves you so so much and please do not shit to death in the skull caverns and die bc he will die too of a random anime mom illness like some kind of pair bonded albatross

and like how fucking annoying this would be for the residents pelican town too. like /w the town so full of broken ass families harvey and the farmer would absolutely be the pair that everybody goes to bed hoping and praying for messy tearful divorce . they wish harvey would go back to barely interacting with anyone outside of the clinic bc now hes prowling the square like a starving cheetah chasing down anybody in his AOE range to lock them into an unskippable cutscene abt how his kids are so so cute and look at this picture of my husband look at this picture of her look at it now

i saw your tags on the bachelor post, sooooo if you please? could you spare some bachelorette hcs for the soul? 🤲🏻

Well, I suppose I could be persuaded—lmfao I’m kidding. You sent this on Sunday, and I assumed you were talking about the Bachelors In Bed hc list, so that’s what I wrote. I’m really glad someone wanted to see the girlies, too :) Enjoy, anon! 

Warnings: heavy NSFW. Sub/dom dynamics, mentions of headspaces, edging/overstim, dirty talk, degradation and praise, tons of swearing, light bondage(?), mentions of feet yikes, and I used GN!reader. They’re listed in ascending age order once again. Minors please do not interact, thank you!

Maru

She’s loud

The slightest touch can have her sighing, and lord have mercy on your eardrums if you nibble on her earlobe, because that’s Her Spot™

She has a tendency to hide her face in the pillows or behind her arms and hands

But that does absolutely nothing to keep her voice down

you’re caught totally off guard by it at first, and at some point you wonder if she’s putting it on, but no

She really is just that sensitive

And loud. Did I mention she’s loud?

Desperate for it, no teasing or edging for her please and thank you

She’s probably a little repressed, what with her dad being who he is (the stick up his ass is massive, genuinely)

So sex with her is going to reflect that, at least at first

Grabs onto you a lot, and her grip is strong as hell

probably has a marking kink and loves leaving hickeys on your thighs during the summertime when she knows you have to wear shorts

And lordy, does she scratch

You might as well have a permanent tattoo of her nails down your back because of how often she uses you as a scratching post

You like looking at them in the mirror though, and she always makes sure to put ointment on them afterward so they don’t become a problem

But this girl doesn’t really talk during sex, regardless of the kind

She’s too busy blowing the fucking roof off the farmhouse

Oh yeah. No sex at her place. Nope.

Not even a gag can shut her up, but you’re certainly welcome to try!

Probably could make your lips numb if you tried to kiss her while she was moaning

And despite what you might think of her at first, she’s not innocent

because of how Demetrius is, she may never have had any experience with another person, but that doesn’t mean she’s never used toys

She can’t buy her own, but she did make a few for herself!

Feel free to use them on her, but be warned that she’ll give you the same treatment afterward

As far as dynamics go, she’s a switch, and definitely overstimulates the fuck out of you as a dom, but when she’s subbing, she’s pretty docile

Listens to you well, and if there’s a sliding scale in terms of brattiness, her and Haley are on opposite extremes (more on that later though)

Overall sex with her is pretty intense, and no it does not settle down the longer you’re together so good luck

Maybe invest in some decent earplugs? For you and the whole town LMFAO

Penny

It’s hard to tell because she’s constantly muffling herself in one way or another

even though it’s implied that she has a situationship with Sam, she’s very inexperienced

She knows how she likes to be kissed, but as far as her knowledge on sex goes, nada

You’re going to have to lead her

She doesn’t really like hearing herself, just because it reminds her of what she’s doing and she’s embarrassed about it

So you can usually trust that she’s not going to be super loud, but she can talk

Nothing vulgar or raunchy

That’s just not who she is

So you’ll probably get way more “I love you’s,” and lots of quiet begging

But as far as noises go, she’ll give you sharp gasps or muffled whimpers

Doesn’t have a ton of confidence and kind of just lets you do whatever you want

That causes some problems early on because she’s not totally up-front about certain things, but you pay very close attention, so it’s not very often that it happens

But it’ll take a lot of trust and communication for her to open up about what she likes during sex

And then you find out that she likes being embarrassed

Make fun of her desperation a little bit, but you should definitely still indulge her 

Not to mention if you yourself are just as desperate, that’ll def make her short-circuit

The build-up is the loudest

Her volume is high when she comes, but it falls back down pretty quickly afterward

Grapples onto you like a koala

Like Alex, prefers a lot of contact, and similarly to Elliott, likes intimacy

But also tease her a bit

imagine her reaching for your hand to thread your fingers together, and you indulge her, but chuckle a little meanly?

Yeah. She's dead.

A sub, 10000%

And if you stop doing all the work and force her to do it herself, she is GONE

“If you want it, you’re going to have to work for it”

And she does work for it, but her face is bright red the whole time

A little tomato lol

You’ll have to give her a second to get over her embarrassment though

You can tease her about that too if you wanna

“Are you embarrassed by how badly you want me?” and she shakes her head because that’s not it but also it is

Probably tears up, but doesn’t cry

At least, none of her tears ever fall

Wants to cuddle after sex, and will not let you go for at least thirty minutes

You also are going to need to reassure her

So go for lots of compliments, be sweet and loving to her overall, and she’ll probably want to take a shower together afterward

You may or may not get a round two in there

Abigail

This girl

Well.

She’s got quite the mouth on her LMAO

What I mean is: Abigail curses like no one else

Which isn’t very surprising for anyone involved, but nonetheless I have to mention it

But as far as noises go—oml this girl is so ridiculous—she thinks her moans sound like a really bad imitation of pornstars faking it? hdsjhDGSKDJGH

So she doesn’t allow herself lol

It would take a lot to get her to make any higher noises

You’re not gonna hear any whines or whimpers out of her for the most part

But if you want to, you can overstimulate her

The thing about her voice is that once she starts using it, she won’t stop

If you open the floodgates, she won’t be able to close them

Things in motion tend to stay in motion, yadda yadda yadda

You get the point

Anyway yeah she sounds fucking phenomenal but don’t bother trying to convince her because it will not work ever at all lmfao

What a stubborn little shit abigail i’m in love with you pls

She jerks around a lot

She’s overall pretty sensitive, and if you catch her by surprise, she’ll yank herself away from you

It’s not because she hates it, it’s just reflex

You’ll have to hold onto her pretty tightly

But also.

Tie her up sometimes, maybe?

I imagine she’s the type to have some fuzzy purple handcuffs 

Probably bought them off amazon after losing a bet

But she’s never used them before

Except she has you now, so. You know. They see the light of day fairly often

If you want to know how she’s feeling, check her feet

Hold on stAY WITH ME—

She curls her toes whenever she likes something you do

So let’s say you’re going down on her, and you’ve got her legs slung over your shoulders

And you can’t hear her or see her face, but just.

Glance up, or to the side—wherever you’ve got them

And you can tell when she’s enjoying herself easily

Give her hickeys and bite her a bit—her neck is the most sensitive, so if you’re looking for some real sounds, go for there

be warned that she might make your ears ring

Haley

Now we know when you’re just getting to know each other, she’s kind of shallow and mean, right?

But give her some patience and she’ll soften over time

So once y’all are together

A brat.

But also not

Like, yeah, she’s bratty, and needy, and if you try to edge her or rile her up, she’ll just take what she needs ugh i love her

But her sounds will reflect that disposition, so depending on what you’re doing, she’ll either be super sweet, or a bitchy brat 

“You’re so slow, hurry up!” or “Please, I’ll be good, I’m so close”

Probably a switch, but leans more toward sub

Sensitive nipples (i hc nipple piercings for her lol you’re welcome for that image)

Latch onto her chest and she’ll be ready to go in like. Two minutes.

But if you want to mess with her, stay there for longer

She could probably come just from nipple play, but she’s never patient enough for it to happen

But touching on what she likes hearing from you for a second, here’s some advice: degrade her

Call her a slut, insult her a little, bro if you scold her for her attitude? Lol you’re never getting rid of her and why tf would you want to?

But despite her general temperament, she doesn’t like pain

So overstim as a punishment is your go-to

But she’ll often piss you off just to get that out of you

Kinda pisses you off sometimes

“Why can’t you just ask me for it? Why do you have to be so bratty? I’d give you what you want in the first place if you just set aside your pride and used your fucking words.”

“Don’t lie, you know you like it.”

She raises your blood pressure every day lmao

She’s versatile, so you’ll hear just about every kind of sound from her

As far as volume goes, she can’t keep her voice down for shit

A fun little challenge is to tell her to be quiet

She can’t do it for shit, but it’s still fun nonetheless lol

Leah

It’s a good thing she moved to the farmhouse with you, because she may not be loud, but you certainly are

This girl knows her shit

She’s really great at reading people, so if you were hoping to slip anything past her, you can toss those plans in the garbage right now lmao

She’s got a tongue and she knows how to use it

Plenty of experience, and she’s gonna make sure she puts it to good use

But she’s not going to go crazy

There’s no dynamics with her, no headspaces, nada

She’s not boring, of course, but she’s not really into all that intense shit

The most that’ll happen is she doesn’t let you touch her until you come at least once, and will probably overstimulate you if you ask for it, but that’s it

Has a very nice voice

Kind of similar to Abigail’s, but a little more smooth, and slightly deeper

She’s not all that shy about her voice, so you can expect an average amount of volume and frequency from her, but she’ll be at her loudest when all of the focus is on you

Very go with the flow, and doesn’t mind a little exploration as long as there’s a hefty amount of communication beforehand

With her relationship history, the easiest way to get her going is to be loving and sweet (FUCK YOU, KEL!)

So if you kiss her with no ulterior motives, or “just because,” that’ll probably be enough to rile her up

Also consent. Consent is very sexy to her

She thinks it’s pretty attractive, seeing you hold yourself back for her benefit

And because she’s so great at reading people, it also means that she knows exactly when you’re doing that

“You keep looking at my lips. Is there something you want to say?”

Likes to tease you about it, but you both know it drives her just as crazy to see you get like that

Likes being complimented quite a bit, (once again, FUCK YOU, KEL) but nothing too raunchy or nasty

Call her “pretty”, or say “I love you” against her lips between kisses?

You’ll have this woman wrapped around your finger like a soulmate string

Emily

In terms of romance, this girl gives Elliott a run for his money

Sex is going to be full-blown occasion for her

Candles, rose petals, music, and definitely some essential oils in a diffuser to help you relax

Probably turns on a salt lamp to align your chakras beforehand or some shit idk

She does not fuck, let’s make that clear now.

Also there are no power dynamics here, nope

Likes intimacy, and prefers any position that makes it easy to kiss you

Which. Oof. She is messy.

Lots of tongue, and if you’re close, probably just gasping into each other’s mouths

She doesn’t actually use pet names during sex

She thinks it’s more romantic and personal to use your name

Maybe a nickname, if you’ve got one

But yeah, no “baby,” “sweetheart”—nothing like that

Also. Eye contact.

EYE. CONTACT.

Will hold your face and force you to look her in the eyes if you try to look away

It’s like the world zeroes in on you two, and she will not focus on anything else

Loves cataloging every expression you make, so if you want to fuck with her facing away from you, you better get a mirror because she refuses to miss anything

Surprisingly not very loud?

Like you’d think she would be, but she’s surprisingly quiet

Not because she’s not enjoying herself, but because she’s just. Not very vocal lol

Loving praise, unsurprisingly

And she gives as good as she wants to get

Probably laces your hands together and presses it over one of your chests, just above your hearts emily please you’re killing me here

Skin contact, a fuckton of foreplay, and honestly her room could serve as a hippie’s sex shop lmfao

So many toys, oils, lube, this girl is prepared for anything

Probably a little vanilla, but that doesn’t mean it’s boring

I assure you it is never boring

I think it’s probably a little surprising for you at first, just how loved she can make you feel

I think with the current dating sphere, with the explosion of social media and smartphones and whatnot, everyone is very disconnected from one another

And she hates it, so when she decides to open up to someone like that, she’s going to do it right

Makes you feel so loved, and you’re obsessed after only the first time

She likes keeping your sexual life private

So don’t expect her to be ready to go whenever, and she doesn’t like a whole lot of PDA

Will not fuck you in any part of the farmhouse except your bedroom

No kitchen or couch sex. Boo-hoo

She wants it to be personal and private, because she feels like it makes it more special if it’s only shared between you two

And your bedroom is your safe-space

She probably says it’s about keeping the atmosphere balanced or whatever

She doesn’t want to have to leave charged rocks on every surface to deal with it if something disrupts that positive energy I am literally in love with her

the moment I found ur blog me your request are closed 😭😭 Dw tho I’ll patiently wait till the open but for now, I really love ur writing and hcs of them!! Especially Elliott hehe 🤭 he’s my favorite

I get you, anon. I do love me some poetic dramatic men LMFAO

Thank you for the kind words, it’s insanely encouraging to hear that people enjoy the things I’ve written. Also I still have like, 7 requests that I’ll be working on this week, and a few are about/mention him, so you can look forward to that! But I hope you send in a request when I open them back up :) <3

............................... Y o u ..................................

In another life maybe

Some pilot!harvey doodles while i was studying.

Requests are officially closed! Thank you to everyone who sent in prompts, and to those of you I haven't gotten to posting yet, I'll make sure to work on your asks over the course of this week. I'll probably open up requests again this Friday, if I have the time. Thank you to everyone once again, I really appreciate it <3

it's my off day, stardew valley brain rot hours are now, and I need to write—so if y'all want to, you can send me requests. I can write anything, for any villager and NSFW is cool too