Oh To Be So Transcribed

oh to be so transcribed

and sustained

and enraptured and empowered

by surrender

oh

to be used 🖤

Properly 💕

(omg that needed a grammar edit WHOOPS note to self: write high, edit sober)

Signal boosting another lovely chubby lady in a tight spot! 💕

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Hello everyone.

Unfortunately I am in a pretty bad situation and so I’m reaching out for help.

Last week I tried to end my life and I’m the process totaled my car.

I have no transportation and for the time being, I am on a unpaid leave of absence. I have no money in my savings bc I have been paying my medical expenses.

I basically owe 12,000 for my car and another who knows what for more medical. I can’t go back to work so I have no income atm.

If anyone wants to help that would be so amazing. If I’m being brutally honest, I’m drowning financially and it’s not really helping my mental health situation either.

Like I said, I need all the help I can get and I hate asking for help. Anyone wanna help please message me for my PayPal or use my cashapp. I appreciate all of you guys so much for all the love and support no matter what.

Im sorry for being a burden and asking but anything at this point helps. Im home in bed and resting and recovering.

Thank you all. ❤️

HOW DID YOU GET A COPY OF MY BRAIN SCAN‽

I hate that my internalized transphobia makes so concerned with how attractive I am to cis lesbians.

I hate that my internalized transphobia AND internalized misogyny both make me feel like wanting to be cute and sexy in a femme-coded way to strangers is bad.

I hate that the above + my neurodivergent/disabled self-hatred all conspire to make me feel like wanting to be a stay-at-home emotional support and chore-oriented wife, instead of a strong and capable physical and financial provider, is somehow wrong.

yeah you like your girls thick but do you like not judging her when she eats? do you like standing up to your friends when they’re fatphobic even when she’s not around? do you like holding her when she’s hurt by the things people say and do around her? do you like her? or do you just prefer her when she’s a picture on your phone?

Also btw y’all I’m so sorry for disappearing! 🥺 I owe at least one of you a big long message and a story vignette, and I’m gonna do my best to get caught up on that + anything else I need to, in addition to resuming semi-regular posting! 💕