Hatefuck With Chan

♡ hatefuck with chan

↳ chan x reader ↳ wc: 4.9k ↳ genre: smut, angst ↳ summary: your love-hate relationship with chan turns more into the former than the latter ↳ warnings: dirty talk, some choking, use of slut/good girl (lovingly), (sort of) degradation, love-hate relationship, the mc gets emo during sex, angsty as fuck ↳ masterlist ♡ updates ♡ read on AO3

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“can’t fucking stand me,” chan grunts into your ear, his sweaty chest pressed against yours, bodies connected in the best of ways, “yet you act like such a slut for me…”

“mhm,” is all you can moan at him at this point as he fucks you into the mattress hard, his pace steady throughout this whole thing, even minutes ago when you came. he doesn’t care, never has—it’s all about getting off on the fact that you can’t stand each other yet doing this whenever the timing’s right.

chan’s always annoyed you. yes, he’s a good guy, super caring when it comes to friends and family, makes sure everyone’s included and having fun. but, he’s also the type of person who likes to be right. so are you, which is why you butt heads often. it has come to the point where you just bark words at each other and find the pettiest shit to fight about, just for the sake of it.

“see?” chan chuckles, placing a kiss to your neck before licking the same spot. “you are a slut. you fucking hate me but here you are, all limp and fucked out, letting me use your cunt as i please.”

he’s a sweet guy, usually, or at least that’s how your entire friend group sees chan, which is why hearing him swear does something to you. when he first used the word ‘cunt’, you almost moaned—it wasn’t what you had expected from a guy like him, but he managed to surprise you.

“and here you are,” you stopped with a grunt when he hit that spot again, exceptionally hard this time, “such a nice guy acting like such a jerk.”

“sluts like you don’t deserve better,” chan chuckles against the skin of your neck, his lips touching it as he laughs, moving in to kiss its side. “this is what you like, getting fucked like a slut in secret… nobody can know what kind of a whore you are for me.”

chan is right—that’s exactly what you like nowadays, and you blame minho for the whole thing.

it was no secret that you and chan always found something to bicker about, it was the norm for you two. one day, when you came over to play a board game, chan and you, of course, disagreed over one of the rules. neither one of you wanted to drop it, and it came to the point of changbin just walking out of the room, frustrated that you just couldn’t play the game in peace.

minho glared at the both of you as he got up too, making you feel childish. still, you didn’t want to admit chan was right, so there was no way out of the situation, which is why you understood both changbin and minho.

“you know, you two should just fuck this out and get all the frustration out,” he waved his hand at you as he packed the game up and scoffed. “you’re ruining the fun for everyone.”

with that, he left the room too, and chan and you just glared at one another.

“you just have to ruin everything,” you told him as you got up, deciding to leave that instant. clearly, your friends were pissed off with you, but you wouldn’t be staying there with him.

“oh, i ruin everything?” chan rolled his eyes. “please! maybe minho’s right, you should get this out of your system.”

“i’m not the one not getting laid around here,” you spat the words back at him and picked up your stuff before leaving, but minho’s words resonated with you.

you don’t say anything back to chan as he keeps pumping himself into you—the feeling’s just too good today, even if his words do kind of sting. the thing is, you’re never sure if he means it. considering how much the dude hates you, you wouldn’t be surprised if he meant every single word. still, you like him and his dick way too much to stop now, which is why you’ve been feeling conflicted lately.

“you’re being such a good slut for me today,” he informs you with a gentle bite of your shoulder, which makes you arch your back, throwing your hips at him so he can give you more.

is there even more than he can give you? chan enters you fully with each thrust, and since there’s a pillow below your lower back, the angle lets him do it all the way. there’s nothing more he can give you, but you want more and more, seemingly insatiable when you’re around him.

“someone taught you well,” he grunts as he leans on one elbow, the other hand moving up to squeeze your chest. but, it’s not the hand’s final destination, you realize when his digits gently pat their way to your throat and wrap around it. “put you in your place… showed you how to be a good girl and let someone fuck your brains out while you just lay there and enjoy, huh?”

his touch around your neck is still gentle, which is surprising for such a big guy. but, you see the gentleness in his eyes and are thankful that he can be like that with you at least in one aspect of your hate relationship since he obviously isn’t with his words. clearly, chan thinks you’re a lot more experienced than you are. he’s, in fact, the second guy you’ve ever slept with, which is probably something you should have mentioned before, but never had a chance to. after all, all you two do together is fuck in private or bicker in front of other people. you don’t talk much, and chan, for one, has never asked any personal questions. however, when you fuck, he does talk about you a lot, making guesses like these, and you let him believe what he wants.

you’re sure he has a lot more experience than you, which is why you trust him with all the dirty talk and choking and whatever else he comes up with next. after all, chan’s still a nice guy even if he hates you, so he wouldn’t hurt you on purpose. he wouldn’t hurt anyone on purpose.

when chan insults you, it’s hot, more than that even. it gets you all worked up for him, especially when he’s inside of you at the same time. but, afterward, you do feel dirty. in the beginning, you didn’t, not at all. it was a thrill when it first started, something you’d never done before, something hot and secretive and exciting, even if it involved someone like him.

the next time you saw chan after your fallout—at a party because nobody invited you two to the same hangouts anymore for obvious reasons—you immediately thought about what minho’s said. you did think chan was cute, the more you thought about it. he had a pretty face, a nice smile, and a great body. sadly, he was annoying and always had to be right.

somehow, you two found yourself alone and started bickering about one thing or another. chan was the first to mention minho’s comment, and you told him you should give it a try and see if it works, which blew his mind. he couldn’t hide how he felt about your proposition, so you knew he’d say yes.

that’s how you ended up getting fucked in his car. you didn’t have enough room and it wasn’t the most comfortable, but it was the best sexual experience you had up until that point, which is why you kept coming back for more. a guy who could make you come from behind in the back of a car was definitely special, and you just didn’t want to say no to someone who seemed to know their way around your body so well. you figured chan felt the same way because he couldn’t stop propositioning you whenever you two ran into each other.

wherever you two saw each other, one or the other would suggest going home together or fucking somewhere nearby. usually, it was your or his place, depending on who had the apartment all to themselves. if not, you’d fuck at parties or in his car or sometimes, when you’d have a bit too much to drink, in back alleys. if his and your roommates were home and you had nowhere to go but wanted to have more than a quickie, you’d meet chan at a motel and fuck all night, never letting your friends know where you went.

the motel fucks made you feel dirty, but not as much as it did to fuck in his room like you’re doing now. it’s mostly because chan never cuddles you or kisses you after sex. during it? yes, he’s all over you, and he can be gentle when he tries. there are times when he spoons you and fucks you from that position, allowing you to feel his body against yours and his hands all over you.

still, as soon as he comes, post-nut clarity hits him and he moves away, which means you go home not long after, feeling as cheap as he suggests you are during sex. at first, this deal suited you too because you didn’t really feel the need to kiss or cuddle the guy. but with time, the things he told you during sex became a lot harsher, even though he does sprinkle in some nice things too, for good measure, and it started bothering you.

“what is that, hm? want more?” he asks after a particularly loud whine that leaves your mouth as he hits the right spot, his forehead now pressed against your cheeks, curls in your fingers as you hold onto him tightly. “always so greedy… are you this greedy with other guys?”

he’s the only one you’re fucking, embarrassingly, but you never tell chan that. you can’t, his ego would get even worse if he knew that he was the second and last guy you fucked, that you couldn’t get enough of him since you started sleeping with him months ago, that you tried hooking up with other guys, but always ran away at the last minute as they all failed in comparison to him. all of it is confusing and embarrassing at this point of no return.

“i bet you are,” he grunts right next to your ear and you feel like you’re about to explode—chan sounds so satisfied and worn out that you actually feel proud. “needy cunt… never enough… you always take all of my cum so well, over and over…”

the fact that the cum from his last orgasm is seeping out of you as he keeps thrusting into you is an embarrassing reminder of just how right he is about that. he’s the only guy who’s fucked you raw because you can’t get enough of him, he’s the only guy you’d let cum inside of you, and definitely the only one who can do it multiple times in a row, once his dick gets hard again.

“oh, fuck, don’t stop,” you grunt at him while your fingers dig into the skin of his ass and shoulder. you’re pulling him in closer, but chan can’t get any closer to you than he already is. “i’m close… fuck.”

“gonna cream all over my cock again?” chan sounds so proud of himself now. “good little slut.”

“mhm,” you hum in agreement to both, enjoying the fact that he’s saying something nice.

that’s the thing that bothers you—why could chan be wonderful to just about everyone except you? why does he call you his slut and tell you how dirty you are for letting him use you, but can’t even hug you properly afterward or tell you he didn’t mean it? it is your own fault, though, for even thinking about it. you knew what you were getting into when you started fucking chan, and it seems too late to turn back now.

“you look so pretty when you’re getting stuffed like this, you know?” he says as if he can hear your thoughts, and the idea makes you shiver. or maybe that’s just the consequence of his dick hitting your spot time and time again, still so fucking hard for you, getting you to become even messier.

you practically purr at him, but you don’t care about how desperate you sound, “you’re gonna give it to me again?”

“how can i not?” he asks with a chuckle, giving your cheek a kiss as the grip he has on your neck tightens.

at this point, you’ve been going at it for hours, and you’re completely sweaty, your hair sticking to the sides of your face, body damp, pussy filled with cum twice already, even though half of it has spilled out of you as chan fucked you hard, loving how wet you felt around him.

you can’t think straight anymore, you feel hot all over, and so so tired, exhausted from screaming and riding him earlier. your jaw is in pain from sucking his dick, throat hurting from the way he fucked it hard. your thighs, on the other hand, hurt because they were in the air for what seemed like hours as chan ate you out and licked you clean to get you ready to take him. and you’ve been taking him for a long time now, your slit engorged and wet, needing him more than ever.

chan starts fucking you harder now, hips slamming into yours, pushing you further into the pillow and the mattress, your body jolting up with every thrust, but his hand keeps you in place. he’s breathing right next to your ear and the more you moan, the more sounds he makes too, which makes it so easy for you to come.

“are you coming for me?” chan asks sweetly, but you can only whine in response, digging your fingers into his flesh deeper, holding onto him for dear life. “you hate me so much but come for me so easily,” he pauses to chuckle, dick rock hard inside of you. “it’s kind of pathetic how easy you make it… spread your legs for me whenever. let me stuff your pretty little cunt full of cum, let me call you all kinds of names… like a real good whore for me.”

that’s what throws you over the edge, and not the fact that he’s kissing you, you tell yourself. you can’t be that desperate to come just because chan kissed you while fucking you, you just can’t. you come all over his dick, but that doesn’t stop him. no, it just fuels him to continue, to give it to you harder, and his hand releases your neck as he fucks you through your orgasm, keen on getting you to feel as much as you can.

“ah, fuck,” he mumbles, resting his forehead against yours, eyes closed as he keeps the same pace. “you’re clenching so hard, i’ll blow…”

“do it,” you hiss and spread your legs wider, even though your thighs are killing you.

“wouldn’t you like that, huh?” chan’s eyes snap open as a smirk appears on his face. “can’t get enough of my dick or cum today… cunt pulling me in,” he grunts at this and kicks his head back, which exposes his neck to you, and you, against your better judgment, lean in to latch your mouth onto it, which makes chan groan really hard. “i love getting to use you like this… and you love to get used and fucked like a slut too, i can just tell. i’ve fucked you for hours now and you’re still throbbing for more cum in you, more dick… insatiable… little… slut…”

his words are coming out like groans, and chan sounds divine, but you are the one now suddenly hit with post-nut clarity as your entire body shivers and you realize you want him to say something different, something nice, to stop thinking of you as just a toy he gets to fuck when he feels like it. almost instantly, you’re hit with the harsh truth—the guy hates you, and you’ll never be more than a slut in his eyes.

suddenly, your eyes well up with tears, and chan notices but thinks it’s because he’s fucking you hard. tears spill out of your eyes and run down the side of your face and he grins at you. “good?” he asks, but you can’t respond. instead, you let out a muffled sob, and as soon as chan frowns, you burst out into tears, turning your head to the side and covering your mouth.

“hey, hey, what’s wrong?” he instantly pulls away from you, his hand grabbing your chin, tilting it so you have to look at him.

“no-nothing,” you say as you try to calm yourself down, but you know you’re acting crazy right now. you’ve just started crying in the middle of sex and ruined it all for him. the worst part? you can’t stop the tears. “it’s, it’s fi-fine.”

“god, it’s clearly not fine,” chan pulls out of you, a trail of his semen from earlier spilling out, reminding of what you are to him, which makes you look away again.

chan straddles your body and takes your face in his hands, forcing you to face him. “did i hurt you?”

with words? yes. physically? “no, you didn’t… ple-please,” you swallow loudly after sobbing again, not wanting to have a full-on breakdown in front of this guy who can’t stand you.

“please, what?” chan’s frowning now, eyebrows knitted together as he inspects your face, thumbs caressing it. “what do you need?”

this question makes you cry even harder because you just kind of want him, even though you don’t like each other. you want to be more than a slut or a whore or a hole for him to fill, but you can’t.

“do you— can i hug you, is that okay?” he suggests with a gulp and you just nod, realizing it will be easier to talk to him if he’s not staring right into your soul like that with such a worried expression.

chan moves to the side and pulls you into his chest, hands instantly wrapping around you, one palm on the back of your head, holding you close to his body. his heart is beating very fast, so fast you can hear it as you lay on his chest and wet it with your tears that can’t stop pouring. still, at least the sobbing’s subsided so you don’t seem like a total mess. you can blame this insane thing on pms and then just never fuck him again.

“i’m so sorry if i hurt you,” chan says after a while, once your breathing’s back to normal. “did i go too hard?”

“it’s not that,” you say, finally pulling away from him, even though it seems he doesn’t want to let you go. you just can’t stay there in his arms feeling like a total idiot and a slut at the same time, and let him comfort you. “i just…” you look straight ahead as you sit in his bed, aware of his eyes staring at you, “i don’t think we should continue doing this.”

“what?” chan’s voice is completely different from the voice he uses when he fucks you. he sounds worried now, and he is, you see when he sits up too and leans in to get a look at your face. “why?”

“it’s a bit… too much for me,” you say with a nod and a sigh. that’s what it is—it all became too much for you to handle. you can’t go on fucking him like this. “it’s not you.”

“are you… sure about that?” chan gulps and continues staring at you, even though you’re refusing to turn to the side and look at him.

“i think so,” you nod again, trying to convince yourself. he’s everything you’re looking for when it comes to a guy, except the fact that he treats you the way he does.

his hand flies to your back and he caresses it, sending shivers down your spine, which causes your body to tingle. “can you tell me what i did wrong?”

“you didn’t do anything, chan,” you nod and suddenly realize you’re naked and leaking his cum, so you pull the covers over yourself.

“hmm,” he hums and scoots over. “this is the first time someone’s cried during sex with me, so i’d really like to know if i did something wrong. i’m sorry if i went too hard or… i don’t know.”

“chan, it’s me,” you say with a sigh, wiping your eyes. “i can’t do this anymore.”

“have you, uh, met someone else,” he clears his throat and takes a while to continue, “or just lost interest?”

you scoff at his conclusions, which can’t be further from the truth. “i haven’t lost interest in you, clearly. and i… am not sleeping with anyone else, so no, i haven’t met anyone. i just feel… like a slut for doing this.”

you catch chan’s mouth hanging open in surprise at your words with the corner of your eye, but you don’t turn to face him. well, at least until he cups your chin and makes you look at him. “do you— did i—” he sighs, clearly upset. he’s the one who’s so good with words usually, who can express himself so clearly, especially when trying to prove his point, but now he doesn’t seem to be able to ask a simple question. he clears his throat, takes a deep breath, and tries again, his eyes zeroing in on yours, “do i make you feel that way?”

“kind of,” you admit, looking down at his chest since you can’t turn your head away from him, his fingers still keeping your chin in place.

chan’s face sinks at your words and the frown is back. “because… because of the things i told you? you do know i mean none of it?”

“not really,” you admit with a sigh, finally feeling like you aren’t about to break down any second. “you’re not exactly nice to me outside of this either, so it’s, uh, the general theme here, with us. you hating me. uhm, i… it’s my fault. i was okay with it at first, but i’m not anymore.”

chan just looks at you, defeat written all over his face. “can i fix this?”

“how?” you ask, gulping loudly as you hold your breath, waiting for him to suggest something.

“i thought, i—” he shakes his head and looks down, finally letting go of your chin, but you don’t use your chance to look away from him. “i thought you liked it. if i knew you didn’t, i wouldn’t… use that language with you.”

“i do,” you nod, not wanting him to feel stupid for talking dirty to you. yeah, it was extreme, but you do like it. “i mean, i like hearing it, but after, i feel… gross.”

chan grimaces at the word and pats your back again. “i’m sorry. it was never really my intention.”

“you’re apologizing?” you can’t help but chuckle at something you’ve never experienced with chan before.

“yes, if i made you feel that way, i should apologize,” he nods slowly, a serious expression on his face. “this isn’t exactly a board game or something stupid like that. i really didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. i don’t, uh,” he swallows, “think you are a slut or a whore or easy. i say it in the heat of the moment because i… like thinking you’re like that for me only.”

with that, chan pauses and takes a deep breath, rubbing the inner corners of his eyes with his digits. “i’m really sorry. if you, uhm, want to… continue, i won’t say anything like that in the future.”

“are you sure you don’t mean it?” you can’t help but poke the bear, needing to know how he really feels. if you’re going to trust him, you want to know more.

“positive,” chan’s quick to respond with a smile.

“and what about these other guys you mention?” you ask again, knowing it’s a weak spot for him as soon as you catch his jaw clench for a second.

“honestly?” chan raises both brows and looks at you almost pleadingly. “i don’t think you’re seeing other guys, i fear it… because it means you might stop doing this with me.”

“there are no other guys, chan,” you reassure him instantly. if anyone knows how hard it is to talk about your feelings about someone you fight with all the time with that someone, it’s you, and you don’t want him to feel like shit for being honest. “i can barely keep up with you, if i’m being honest.”

this makes him chuckle. “same here, you’re… a lot,” he smirks for a second, and you see the chan you know so well come back. “what would i even do with someone else?”

“right,” you agree wholeheartedly. what’s the point of trying to sleep with someone else when they just can’t give you what he does?

the silence that ensues is awkward as you don’t know what to tell chan, other than that you like him and that’s what’s stopping you from going forward with this. thankfully, he speaks up. “maybe we can, uh, change this a bit? i don’t have to say these things unless you want me to. maybe some aftercare would be nice, huh?” he pats your back again, his thumb rubbing gentle circles into your skin. “or we can uh,” he swallows loudly and looks away, which surprises you since he’s always confident around you, “go out for real. not to motels and stuff.”

“that would be… nice,” you give in instantly as you know it took a lot of guts for chan to say that out loud to someone who fights him on everything, every step of the way. “i think it won’t bother me in that case.”

“if you’re sure i don’t mean it?” he smiles at you warmly, and you can’t help but smile back, scared of what you’re feeling.

“yeah,” you nod.

“but you do know it, right?” now, his hand is moving your hair away, tucking it behind your ear so he can cup your cheek. “i don’t think that about you at all. i think you’re the opposite, which is why it kind of feels good to say while i fuck you.”

his words instantly ring in your crotch, a tinge of excitement running down your spine at his words. chan is right, it does feel good while you’re fucking. “i mean, it feels good to hear it too, because i do feel like… it at times.”

“because you know you’ll let me do whatever i want?” chan suggests with a smirk you’ve seen many times before but never during a serious conversation.

you gulp, “yes.”

“well, i’d let you do whatever you want, too, if that makes you feel better,” he tells you as his hand makes it way to the back of your neck, which he lightly squeezes. “you should know that. in a way, i act like a slut for you too.”

that makes you chuckle and look to the side, not used to talking about sex with him while you’re not in the middle of it, but it does feel nice. “you kind of do.”

he hums and wraps his arm around your shoulder, leaning his head in. “can you promise one thing, though?”

“what is it?” you cock your head to the side and take the time to admire his features, getting lost in the plump of his lips when he speaks.

“next time something hurts you, you tell me,” chan suggests with a nod. “i don’t want you to cry over this. there’s really no reason to. it’s all good.”

“okay,” you nod, hoping you’ll be able to stick to your part of the deal. “i will do that.”

“also, you do know that i don’t hate you?” chan says with a frown. “we brushed over that, but if anything, i really, really like you. we butt heads here and there, but that’s kind of part of the fun, right? i don’t want this to stop. i’d like to take you out and not hide this and get to do more than just have sex, but we can take our time, if that’s what you want. if you just want to keep doing this and want me to not use that language with you, you’ve got it, and if y—”

“chan, chan, chan,” you pat his thigh gently, chuckling at his sudden outburst of nervousness. “it’s okay. maybe we can try dating for real and see if we do well.”

“we can’t not do well,” he tongues his cheek. “our chemistry is unreal. what can go wrong?”

“i already see us arguing over everything,” you tell him, lying down on the bed and laughing. chan instantly follows. “isn’t that the best kind of foreplay though? to get you to ride me like you hate me?”

“ah!” you turn to face him, mouth open in surprise. “are you saying you’re arguing all the time so we can have hate sex?”

chan looks from side to side as his lips form a straight line before laughing. “maybe… but it works!”

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↳ kim doyoung according to @kdongyoung’s tags!

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Pairing: bunny!Jaemin x fem!reader

Genre: fluff

Rating: PG

Warnings: hybrids, parenting

Word Count: 441

Requested by; my furry twin Rai @raibebe

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Don’t Play

Part 2/3 of the Companion Trilogy.

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 2.3k

Summary: During one of your visits to Kun’s place, he offers his companion’s services to Yangyang, boasting that he’ll show him what a real companion is like. You fully expected Yangyang to refuse–sharing companions wasn’t illegal but it was definitely taboo, and even Yangyang can’t be stupid enough to do that. But to your shock and horror, he agrees. Warnings: femdom, exhibitionism, blowjobs, overstimulation, yangyang being a needy baby  

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OKAY IM READY JOHNNYS POV FROM ALL MY LOVING WHEN YN LETS OUT ABOUT HER FEELINGS like that part where she's like "you really hurt me" and he's like *wince*

game. send me a scene from one of my fics and i'll rewrite in the other's pov!

fic. i'll send all my loving to you scene. "you really hurt me." warnings. n/a (will update later if i find the need for any!) word count. 2.5k+

notes. written in multiple airports. unedited and uploaded using shitty airport wifi. brooke bb, i love you for requesting this!!! for all my "all my loving" enthusiasts, this is for you <3 (tagging @suhnnyskiess because i know how much you love this fic!!)

DISCLAIMER. This is work of fiction. I do not own the people/characters or concepts I have written about. You cannot translate or copy my work. © sehunniepotwrites, 2022

“Can we talk in private for a little bit?” Johnny found himself asking after listening to everyone in the room talk about this poet his girlfriend raved about. Alice went on and on about this writer, annoying him with compliments about these words that tugged on her weakened heartstrings, and it began to annoy him. But hearing you suggest that he should give this particular collection a chance made him want to read into it. Then again, he could almost never say no to you. Keyword: Almost.

There was that one time that refused to escape his memory. It was the moment in time that he regretted; a moment he desperately wanted to fix. Johnny needed to erase the image of your brokenhearted face from his mind. Maybe then, the feeling of missing you would subside.

Johnny followed you out as you led him to your snow-covered porch. It brought back flashes to the good old days with you, when nothing else mattered except him and his best friend. 

Like it was second nature to him, Johnny moved ahead to brush the cold off the steps and motioned for you to take a seat. He smiled to himself as he saw you flinch as the freezing cold touched the fabric of your pants. The man was glad to see that some things never changed—you were still ever-so-sensitive to the cold. Seeing you shiver against the winter breeze pushed him to place his body right next to yours, secretly hoping that his warmth would find its way to you, just like it used to. Maybe you didn’t take note of the way your body immediately pressed against his but Johnny did. 

Johnny tried his best not to look at you. He tried not to take in the many ways the years apart had changed you. The dark circles and bags under your eyes were darker now, visible under your light layer of concealer. Although you were dressed up, hair styled immaculately, and your outfit so put together, you still looked affected by something. 

Were you lacking sleep? Were you taking care of yourself? Was there something stressful going on in your life? 

Was he the stressor himself? He heard that you hadn’t returned to town ever since your falling out. His heart shattered at the fact that you went out of your way to avoid him.

Granted, he never came back either but for different reasons. Johnny was caught up in his new relationship with Alice, constantly spending his breaks with her. Three years into their relationship, he had met the family and traveled around the States with Alice at his side. But seeing you again, still looking like an angel in the snow, his eyes kept focusing on you. They tracked the way you warmly greeted his parents and how they accepted you into their arms with no room for hesitation. He also saw the way his parents smiled and treated his lover—welcoming but not to the point how they treated you, his pretty little sunflower.

Would you still smile at the nickname he used to call you? Should he even risk saying it? The word “flower” sat on the tip of his tongue, itching to come out. Remembering how you blew up last time, the boy decided not to. 

Instead, he stretched out his large palm to catch flakes in his hand. He watched them melt away as soon as they hit his skin. “Remember when Frozen came out? All you wanted to do is build a snowman,” he babbled. He winced. Was that really the only icebreaker he could come up with? He almost smacked the side of his head for his stupidity.

Surprisingly, bringing up fond memories worked because you had replied with, “How could I ever forget that?”

Johnny turns to see you with a hint of a smile gracing your lips—a pair he had missed. He missed the sounds you would make, the words that used to spill out, and all the little shapes they used to form as you talked. God, how he missed you. And it was all his fault. You did nothing wrong but love him and he rejected you harshly. All because he was frightened of losing the best thing he ever had.

He sat in silence with you, both pairs of eyes glued to the falling snow that always tied you two together before he spoke again. “I know this is practically years too late but I’m sorry for how things ended.” 

Johnny was more than sorry. He would do anything to make up for the lost time. He’d do anything for you to return to him as a friend. He’d love to introduce you to the special girl in his life, a person that shared a few similarities with you. He hoped you would get along. 

“You really hurt me.”

He knew that he would have to work for your forgiveness. You couldn’t just let him back in and erase all the pain with one simple apology. But he also didn’t imagine you admitting how much pain you were in. “I know, I’m sorry.”

“No, I don’t think you do know, John,” you snapped back, a fire igniting in the eyes he used to look into.

Funny how those same eyes used to lure him to sleep and be the first thing he saw when he woke in the morning. And now, they were the ones that scorned him so deeply, that he thought first aid was needed on his aching heart. The harshness in your words called for silence and his lips clamped shut to obey your quiet command. He shrunk into himself, never experiencing the receiving side of your wrath before.

Then, Johnny realized you called him by another name. Why did hearing his government name slip past your lips hurt him more than anything else in the world? Why did he long to hear you say Johnny once more? 

“Johnny.”

“What?”

“I don’t like when you call me John. It’s always been Johnny to you.”

You didn’t respond right away. Johnny thought his words were lost to the loud, blustery breeze that blew past your close bodies. But you heard him, loud and clear. “Right, Johnny.”

The way your knees grazed his as you turned affected him in more ways than one. It was another reminder of how much time had flown without each other. Back when everything was easier, when he didn’t break your heart, your bodies could easily fit into one step. Now, you pressed in a way that friends—former lovers—shouldn’t be. There was a second where Johnny thought about pulling one of your knees into his lap, just so you could be more comfortable on the hard, wooden steps. He refrained, of course, because what kind of image would that bring to your families, friends, and his girlfriend that they left inside? 

The sort of intimacy he used to share with you was impossible to recreate. Out of respect for you and his loyal girlfriend, Johnny had to stop his mind from steering in that direction. But heavens above, how he just missed your presence. His hands twitched as he willed himself not to reach for you.

“But you need to know. I was a wreck when you left me.” Johnny picked up on the way your usually strong voice broke. He hated that he was the reason your sturdy voice wavered.

“Just—just imagine this for me, okay?” 

He agreed silently. He had his chance to speak all those years ago. Now, it was your turn to let it all out with no interruptions in your way. You deserved to be heard and Johnny was willing to listen. 

“Just imagine falling for the person you trusted most in the world, yeah? The person who was like your guiding light home, who could make you feel better with just one touch.” As you set the scene with your words, Johnny could feel you shivering with emotions. He was aware of how your nails dug into your thighs—a habit of yours Johnny hated, he never did approve of you inflicting pain on yourself—as you continued on. How would it feel if you pushed all that heartache towards him instead? Could he stand it?

“Picture telling that person that you loved them and not platonically. That you loved them in that romantic, ‘I want to be more than friends, hold my hand and never let me go’ type of way.” 

Tears were willing their way out of his eyes but he closed his lids, refusing for them to fall. Johnny didn’t deserve to cry. He deserved to take it all. Gulping back his emotions, he bit his lip. That sting was nowhere near the agony you had gone through but it was something. Your words were laced with so many emotions, he failed to pinpoint every single one. But the desperation to be heard was clearly there. It clung onto every syllable, word, and breath of air you took

“Imagine telling the person who promised to never hurt you that you are in love with them and then they just tell you ‘no.’ Can you picture that in your head, Johnny? You give them your everything and then they tell you one simple word that just tears you apart?” 

He cleared his throat but that was the only noise he could make. “I miss you so fucking much, you don’t understand.”

He jumped up at your confession, relieved that you missed him as well. “I’ve missed yo—”

“I’m not finished.” Your words cut him off. The delivery was as sharp as the knives he used to cook meals with you earlier during your college years, slicing him into pieces. A manicured finger met his face, almost poking him in the eye. He flinched back, Johnny’s shoulders falling as he did so. He felt so incredibly small, like he was reverting back to the times he heard his parents arguing through his thin walls. 

“I’ve missed you and I appreciate your apology but in no way can I forgive you right away. That amount of hurt needs a lifetime to heal completely.” 

Unwavering tone delivering words straight and true, he looked at you with admiration. Johnny was amazed at how strong you had become. 

“You may have not wanted to turn our whole friends-with-benefits relationship into something more and I get that now. But you have to understand, Johnny.” A moment of stillness took over as you paused. The man beside stole a glance at you, seeing the way you discreetly ran your fingers against your throat. He guessed you were getting choked up.

“You, you—God, you left me all alone to deal with that heartbreak! You just—you just threw me away like a crumpled piece of paper on the damn floor, you couldn’t even pick me up and—and place me in the trash.” A spitfire you were, rapidly shooting out words that shot him where it would hurt the most. But again, you were right in his glassy eyes. You would always be right. Johnny had left you hanging; you were so incredibly close to him and he shoved you away when you had so much to say. He forced you to watch him walk away from your friendship, your situationship, and lastly, what seemed to be a transition from friends to something more. 

The feeling of his tongue licking his dry lips paired with the sensation of teeth sinking into his bottom lip helped him plow through his messy thoughts. He wondered if your eyes could spot the way the gears were slowly turning in his head. You used to say that you could. Was he still an easy read to you? 

He tangled his long fingers through his loose bangs, he holding them back for a second before releasing them. “I’m sorry. I don’t even know what to say except that I’m just really sorry. I didn’t know.” 

Apologies were all he could give. He couldn’t give you his heart back then and even now. In the past, it trembled but it belonged to you. In the present, it belonged to that beautiful girl sitting on your couch, a place where he used to relax with you. 

“I know, Johnny. I can see that. If anything, please just understand that I not only lost a lover I thought I had that day but my best friend in the whole entire world, too. Okay?”

“Yeah,” was all that came out of his mouth for just a moment. A lover. You had seen him as a lover. That was such a high title coming from you. It was a claim that he wanted to reciprocate many years ago but lacked the courage to. He would’ve loved being loved by you. He already adored being your number one person, your best friend. Why couldn’t his past self take the leap and accept the strong flame he felt for you? Why was he still thinking about all of the regrets he had when it came to loving you? It felt so wrong of him. “Okay. I understand.”

There was another brief period of stillness as the words sunk into your heads. 

You had shaken him to the core. He still couldn’t believe you loved him in that way. 

A lover. Your lover. 

Your love for him started off as a little seedling of friendship, sprouting leaves and stems that grew and grew. Then, it blossomed into a beautiful flower, one so yellow and bright, face looking for the rays of the sun—a face that only looked at him. 

“But,” you said softly, snapping him out of his thoughts. He felt your soft fingers graze under his neck, aiming for his strong jaw. You lifted his chin with a hand at school at the first moment of contact. “I would be so happy to have you back in my life, Johnny. That is, if you’ll have me.”

The blond was relieved that you were talking to him. Beyond happy that you were willing to rekindle the friendship—he was determined to win back his best friend, no matter how long it would take for you to fully forgive him. Excited that you seemed to get along with his girlfriend. 

But there was this weird feeling that came over his heart when you said his name with that certain softness in your voice. The way you held his chin with the lightest of touches sent tingles down his spine.

Johnny ignored the fluttering in his chest and pulled you into his arms. He felt you sigh happily, your smaller build sinking into his comforting hold. 

His chin rested against the top of your head. “Of course, flower,” the nickname slipped out naturally. “I’m just happy to have my best friend back,” he muttered.

And when you looked up at him with glittering eyes that looked like the snow falling from the sky, he swore his heart leaped out of his chest. “Me too.”

© sehunniepotwrites, 2022

♡ inexperienced with changbin

↳ changbin x reader ↳ wc: 2k ↳ genre: smut, established sub/dom relationship!au ↳ summary: what happens when your sub is inexperienced ↳ warnings: fingering, unprotected sex, first time, sub/dom dynamics, choking, creampie ↳ masterlist ♡ inexperienced masterpost ♡ read on AO3

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Changbin isn’t sure how he entered this type of relationship, especially with you, of all people, but he did, and there’s no going back. He wouldn’t want it any other way, either.

He isn’t sure what to describe it as—is he your sex toy?

That would mean you were having sex, though, and Changbin’s never gotten as lucky as to sleep with you. Oral sex is still sex, though, so he’s got that going for him, at least. Here and there, you do put his dick in your mouth and order him not to come. Something like that should be torture, but it feels like bliss to him.

When you two first started this, you told Changbin he could sleep with other people if he wanted. In fact, you told him to do whatever he wanted with other people, as long as he stayed safe—condoms and all that, so you two don’t risk it when you fool around.

Despite having your explicit permission to fuck other people, he didn’t want to. You weren’t his girlfriend or a fuck buddy, yet Changbin couldn’t even think about anyone else. Besides, how would he explain to his date that he has this woman he’s seeing who he doesn’t fuck but submits to, lets her do whatever she wants to him, someone who makes him come harder than he’s ever come in his life, sometimes even without touching his body? It’s inexplicable, so Changbin keeps it to himself, and doesn’t date.

There aren’t many people out there who’d understand how Changbin feels when he’s fully naked save for the leather harness and collar, lying on your bed while you toy with him, tease him, find new ways to overstimulate or edge him, whatever you’re in the mood for that day. Not many people can understand that it relaxes him and drives him wild at the same time, that he’s dying for your touch whenever you’re not around, that you’re all he thinks about.

But, that is becoming his second favorite. What Changbin likes best is when you let him touch you, when he gets to flip you on your back, hand gripping your hair while the fingers of his other hand piston into you, sending you over the edge, his cock leaking precum against your side.

He loves how you moan for him then, how you beg him to give you more, how you kiss him like he’s the only guy you have, the only one you care about. It’s moments like those that make Changbin’s head spin, this sudden urge to be in control rushing over him whenever you say you need that from him.

The number of times he’s fantasized about replacing his fingers with his dick while he’s on top of you is too high to count. Every time you toyed with him, Changbin wanted nothing more than to get to fuck you, even if he hasn’t done it before, even if he’s not sure he could last long or move the way you need him to.

These thoughts are rushing through his mind even now, when he’s on top of you once again, two of his fingers inside of you, curling upwards and moving ever so slightly while he kneels over you, the other hand gripping your neck. There’s something so hot about seeing your eyes water when he squeezes, about feeling both of your hands wrapping around his wrist, hearing you moan his name.

“Right there, Binnie, ri—ahh,” your voice turns into mush when he starts moving his fingers fast, hitting that spot over and over again. By now, Changbin’s learned and memorized every single thing you like in an attempt to impress you, to make you like him more. Your body twists and turns, hips try to buck into him to cause more friction, and if he didn’t know you, Changbin would think you were acting desperate. “Don’t stop!”

In a move that’s so unlike him, Changbin lets go of your neck, grabs one of your hands, and moves it down to his cock, which should be a clear sign of him needing your touch. Things can take a sudden turn if you decide to end the game and show him who’s in charge. You could refuse to touch him, wanting it all to be about you.

But, you surprise him once again by immediately starting to pump his hard cock, hissing when you reach the tip and feel how much precum has leaked out of him already. “I want you to shove your dick into my mouth,” you tell him, voice weak because of the way he’s still moving his fingers. Music to his ears.

“I want that too,” Changbin admits, speeding up his movements, wanting to send you over the edge. Your slick is completely coating his fingers, some of it getting all the way to his palm as he keeps fingering you. “I want you so bad. So fucking bad, you have no idea how much I want it.”

“How much you want what, baby?” you coo, using the nickname that makes his cock twitch instantly, which is something you notice, based on the way you smirk. “Tell me.”

Your breathing is getting heavy because of his fingers, but so is his—your hand is expertly jerking him off, and he’s nearing completion with every stroke of your hand. It’s a lot to ask, but Changbin finds the courage to mutter the words, “To fuck you… I want to get to fuck you.”

And then, his wildest fantasy comes true. The thing he’s wanted for months is now finally in his reach. “Do it,” you hiss at him, spreading your legs wide, and that’s all he needs to move forward and dive right in.

Before Changbin can say a word, he’s already between your legs, his tip pressed right against your entrance. “That’s right, baby, you’ve got this,” you say with a chuckle, hands stroking his shoulders, moving down to his biceps and then all the way up, leaving shivers in their wake.

You know he’s never fucked anyone before, and that this is a big deal, so you’re being sweet to him. Changbin can feel it in the way you caress him softly, the way you inspect his face as if you’re trying to gauge how he’s really feeling.

The very next second, his cock enters you, walls clenching hard around it, making Changbin see stars. He knew it would be warm and enticing and that he’d never want to pull out, but he’s just never imagined it being this good.

“Fuck, you’re tight,” he grunts at you, still not believing he’s actually inside of you. You’ve had his dick in your mouth before, and that felt heavenly. This? It’s like he’s levitating.

Most other guys are probably scared of blowing too soon, but Changbin isn’t, even if your cunt feels like the best thing he’s had. He can’t come too fast, not when you’ve been toying with him for so long, teaching him how to stop when it feels the best in order not to blow, how to edge himself so he can please you.

In fact, he wouldn’t dare come without your permission. After all, you’ve brought Changbin to tears many times before by making him hold it in, let the orgasm pass instead of jerking or sucking him to completion, leave him shaking and pleading.

“So fucking good,” he grunts again, now moving in and out slowly. “So good for me.”

Now that he’s finally inside of you, he just keeps moving. At first, he’s going slow, testing the waters, like you two always do. Changbin needs to test his range of motion, check the angles, see what makes you moan. You’ve got all the time in the world.

“And you’re big… And hard,” you hum happily and push yourself up on your elbows, legs spreading even further as you lean in and kiss Changbin. The leather harness around his chest presses into your skin while you two kiss, and he hopes it doesn’t hurt, but you don’t say a word.

Instead, you moan into his mouth, letting one of your hands sneak down and pinch his nipple. Of course, it gets him to moan softly, just the way you like. “Yeah, baby, just like that… Let me hear you while you fuck me…” you hum, eyes never leaving his as you talk dirty to him. “I want to hear you, want to know how good my cunt’s making you feel.”

Once he hears that, Changbin starts pumping. It’s difficult—the pleasure is overwhelming, and seeing you smirk and hearing how much you like him fucking you is enough to get him to leak precum. “Love… fucking… you,” he breathes in between thrusts, which are now a lot faster, clearly much to your liking. “Feel so good.”

“Yeah? Give it to me then,” you say teasingly, pinching his nipple once again before letting your torso plop down on the bed, pulling him down with you. Once Changbin’s up on his elbows, he starts thrusting again, so hard that your body moves upward with each snap of his hips. You seem surprised for a second, muttering, “Where have you been hiding?”

By that, you mean him, the guy who’s fucking you hard, who’s grunting swear words and telling you how pretty you look with his cock in you. Changbin’s not really sure where all that came from—he always means that, but never has the balls to say it. “Your cunt’s so fucking wet for me, huh? You’ve wanted this all along.”

Now, you’re so hot around him, his cock feels so cozy and warm, and Changbin never wants to leave your tight cunt. Of course, it’s all about you for him, even if a part of him is happy this is how he gets to get rid of the social stigma called virginity. Honestly, he couldn’t have wished for a better first time.

“So f-fucking good… Tight cunt.” He’s babbling at this point, but so are you, and he loves seeing you get so lost in pleasure.

“Good, keep going,” you tell him before moaning. “Show me how much you like fucking me, baby… I want to see how good you can be to me.”

Changbin keeps moving the same way for a long time, hard and fast, until you start touching yourself, until your fingers and his cock make you come. He almost comes too, hissing loudly as if he’s hurt, and you recognize all the signs. You laugh and shake your head at him. “Not yet, baby… Have to give me a bit more before you fill me up.”

“Fill you up?” Changbin repeats your words, feeling dizzy at the very thought.

The next thing he knows, you’re on top of him, riding his cock so well he’s practically crying—Changbin feels tears spilling out of his eyes. The pleasure is so intense he can’t take it anymore. Your cunt is too good, too new, too warm for him to keep going further. It’s been an hour at this point, he’s certain.

“What is it? Can’t take a good fuck?” You’re clearly trying to tease him, but you’re grunting the words at him, obviously just as affected by the act as Changbin is. You like it too much, too.

“Want to keep going all night,” he admits, groaning when he feels his orgasm approaching because he knows you’ll shake your pretty head no, and he’ll have to clench his teeth and let it go. “You’re perfect… Fucking me so good.”

Surprisingly, you don’t tease him for too long. In a couple of minutes, you give him a nod when he pleads with you, begging to let him come. Not long after, Changbin’s coming inside of you, your walls still moving up and down his length, squeezing him, helping him get all of it out.

You lay down next to him and pepper kisses all over his face and shoulders, praising him through a whisper, making it all about Changbin. If this is how you’re going to be when you fuck, you two should have done it months ago.

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