Sonic Shorts: Bath Night (Comic Script) (Promo)

Sonic Shorts: Bath Night (Comic Script) (Promo)

A sample of a humorous comic script I posted on deviantART.

Premise: Pirate Captain Abyss the Squid tries to get her mouthy, young apprentices - Razor and Blade - to take a bath. Hilarity ensues.

NOTE: Due to Blade's age never being revealed, my head-canon is that she's 4-5 years older than Razor.

Page 1

Panel 1

The Setting Dawn Pirate Armada - Abyss the Squid's Ship - ~8 years ago. Front view of Abyss looking commanding.

1  ABYSS: Alright brats, listen up!

2 CAPTION: Abyss the Squid - Calamari Captain

Panel 2

Abyss paces like an army general as Razor (age ~7) and Blade (age ~11) watch. Razor is curious as to what she's talking about, while Blade rests her chin on her hand, looking bored and annoyed.

1 ABYSS: As I’m sure you’re aware, today is Thursday. Do you know what that means?

2 CAPTION: Razor & Blade, the Shark Siblings - Apprentice Pirates

Panel 3

Razor raises his hand enthusiastically, a thought bubble with a hardtack biscuit floating next to him. Abyss just gives him a look.

1 RAZOR: Ooh! Is it extra biscuit night?

2 ABYSS: That’s tomorrow Razor.

Panel 4

Razor lowers his hand, looking nervous. Abyss smiles knowingly.

1 RAZOR: I-It's time to clean the bilge?

2 ABYSS: Close, but not quite.

Panel 5

Blade smirks at Abyss, earning her a snicker from Razor and a scowl from the squid.

1 BLADE: It’s time for you to get a facial for your wrinkles?

2 ABYSS: Eat barnacles, Blade.

3 RAZOR: Snrkt!

Panel 6

Abyss gestures to the side as Blade and Razor watch, wondering what she's going to show them.

1 ABYSS: No, It means tonight...

Page 2

SPLASH PAGE

Front view of Abyss standing aside and gesturing dramatically, revealing Mr. Bristles and Shellbreaker standing under next to a fairly large washtub filled with warm, soapy water - complete with a little toy pirate ship floating in it. A spotlight is shining down on them.

1 ABYSS: Is Bath Night!

2 CREDITS

[WindstarOsprey: Writer.

-: Pecils.

-: Inks.

-: Colors.

-: Cover.

Based on the characters by SEGA, Archie, and Ian Flynn.

Please, support the official release and all official materials.]

Page 3

Panel 1

Razor and Blade slump over in disappointment, causing Abyss to yell at them.

1 RAZOR & BLADE: Awwwwwwgh!

2 ABYSS: Don't 'Awwwwwwgh' me! You two haven't had a bath in three weeks! Now get in the tub!

Panel 2

Razor pleads with Abyss, who just folds her arms and gives him a flat look. Blade irritably argues with her.

1 RAZOR: But Captaaaain, we don’t wanna take a bath! It takes foreverrrr!

2 ABYSS: Only because you two keep whining about it.

3 BLADE: Can’t we just jump in the ocean or something?

Panel 3

Mr. Bristles scratches his head, earning him an irritable glare from Abyss as she looks over her shoulder at him. Shellbreaker raises an eyebrow at what she just said.

1 MR. BRISTLES: The lass has a point Cap’n. Why can't they just do that?

2 CAPTION: Mr. Bristles - Yeti Crab Quartermaster

3 ABYSS: Because this place smells fishy enough already! We don't need smelly shnorkies on top of all that.

4 SHELLBREAKER: 'Shnorkies'?

5 CAPTION: Shellbreaker - 'Otterly' Devious First Mate

Panel 4

Same shot as above, only Abyss, Mr. Bristles, and Shellbreaker have wide-eyed, shocked expressions ( 0_0 ) .

1 BLADE (off-panel): Doubt anyone can smell anything over stinky, old squid lady!

Panel 5

Razor and Blade snicker at the latter's jab.

1 RAZOR: Heh heh heh! Peeeeeeyew!

Panel 6

Razor and Blade are startled by one of Abyss' tentacle smashing a nearby crate.

1 SFX: SMASH!

2 RAZOR & BLADE: Gaah!

Page 4

Panel 1

Front view of Abyss standing menacingly over Razor and Blade, her tentacles moving as though they were possessed. The siblings are shivering and sweating in fear.

1 ABYSS: I'm sorry dear...but did you just call me a stinky, old squid lady?

Panel 2

Blade swallows nervously, but keeps her cool, while Razor clings to his sister and trembles fearfully. Blade elbows Razor's side, snapping him out of it.

1 BLADE: Ulp...

2 RAZOR: Ahh...ahh...ahh...

Panel 3

Blade turns to Razor and elbows him in the side.

1 SFX: BUMP!

2 RAZOR: Ow!

Panel 4

Razor rubs his elbow as he turns to Blade, who gives him a serious look. Razor looks at his sister in understanding.

No dialogue.

Page 5

Panel 1

Razor and Blade make googie faces. Blade pulls down one of her eyelids, opens her mouth wide, and sticks her tongue out, while Razor crosses his eyes, wiggles his hands, and blows a raspberry.

1 BLADE: Yeah! What are you gonna do about it, stinky, old, squid lady? Throw us in the washing machine with your stinky, squid laundry?

2 RAZOR: Pbbbbt!

Panel 2

Close-up of Abyss staring darkly. Razor and Blade can be seen reflected in her eyes. The siblings are laughing.

1 RAZOR & BLADE: Haaaahahahahahahaa!

Panel 3

Same shot as above, but Abyss' eyes widen in realization as she gets an idea, while Razor and Blade look at her in confusion.

1 SFX: DING!

Panel 4

Same shot as above, but Abyss is now smiling wickedly, while Razor and Blade look at her nervously.

No dialogue.

Page 6

Panel 1

Abyss turns to Mr. Bristles and Shellbreaker, who promptly stand up straight and salute.

1 ABYSS: Shellbreaker! Bristles!

2 SHELLBREAKER & MR. BRISTLES: Yes, Cap'n?

3 ABYSS: Bring out...

Panel 2

Extreme close-up of Abyss' eyes. Part of her evil smile can be seen.

1 ABYSS: The Tank!

Panel 3

Shellbreaker smiles evilly, while Bristles looks nervous.

1 SHELLBREAKER: Ohhhhohohohoho! Yes, ma'am!

2 BRISTLES: Arrrrgh...

Panel 4

Shellbreaker and Bristles head off to the next room, respectively rubbing his hands together eagerly and shaking his head in resignation. Abyss smiles in satisfaction as Razor and Blade watch nervously.

1 BRISTLES: I was afraid you were gonna say that.

2 BLADE: Wait, what are you...?

Panel 5

Suddenly, Abyss restrains Razor and Blade with her tentacles. Abyss is smiling wickedly as she wiggles her fingers in malicious excitement.

1 RAZOR & BLADE: Gah!

2 ABYSS: Fuhuhuhuhuhuuu...

To see what happens next, click here!

“Fuhuhuhu! That’s right fools, worship me!”

I love her already.

I am REALLY PUMPED for this arc okay

The gamble

Maw the Thylacine “Monologue”

You want to know why they call me 'Maw'? It's not my real name, I'll tell you that much. But as for how I got it, it's quite simple, really. When Dr. Robotnik began drafting the blueprints for my cybernetics, he ran into a bit of a snag when it came time to install his - at the time - latest creation: the Quantum Rift Generator, or QRG. He originally wanted to put it in my chest or stomach, but that would've required replacing every organ in my torso, and even then, the device would've interfered with any artificial replacements.

Eventually, the good doctor found that the best place to put it would be my mouth, as it was far enough from to keep from disrupting the rest of my implants and would required the least amount of surgery. Granted, he still had to remove and replace my entire lower jaw and most the contents of my neck, including my tongue, most of my esophagus, and vocal chords - which is why my voice has this reverb effect -; but, I digress.

The point is, they call me 'Maw' the Thylacine because I have a miniature particle accelerator that can open quantum singularities built into my 'maw'.

What's a quantum singularity, you ask? Well, to quote a certain lowbrow, giant robot television program from about 20-some odd years ago (as of this conversation), 'it's like a black hole, only portable and with a cooler name'. I trust you know how black holes work?

No? Well then, perfect time to learn. As they say in east Yurashia...itadakimasu.

*opens his mouth and uses the QRG*

Ahhh...Gochisousamadeshita.

Ah yes! I almost forgot:

The following was a fan-based monologue by WindstarOsprey. Maw the Thylacine (that’s me) is owned by SEGA, Archie Comics, and Ian Flynn. Please, support the official release and all official materials. If you don’t...YOU'LL get to learn how a quantum singularity works.

Also, if you enjoyed this and wish to see more, you should go see WindstarOsprey’s deviantART gallery. He’s apparently working on an alternate universe webcomic starring that insufferable calamari Abyss’ old protege, Razor the Shark, and is looking for feedback on his ideas. He also wrote a short piece about the squid attempting to be a parent to him and his sister (those poor children).

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some important, highly experimental work to complete. That Archie-verse Metal Virus isn’t going to test itself.