Boyfriend!jungwon Who Gets A Little Too Handsy At Your Friend Groups Halloween Party, Youre Dressed As

boyfriend!jungwon who gets a little too handsy at your friend groups’ halloween party, you’re dressed as a cat in a little black dress and some shitty ears and a tail attached to an elastic belt. they were cheap, a last minute deal off of amazon, but the way jungwon was acting you’d think that you’d shown up in lingerie.

boyfriend!jungwon who can hardly wait to get you home, rutting into your ass in the elevator taking you up to his apartment, murmuring into your ear about you being his “pretty kitty”

boyfriend!jungwon who fucks you so hard that night until you’re seeing stars, encouraging you to claw all down his back.

boyfriend!jungwon who spends the rest of the night whilst your snore quietly next to him searching up boutiques that sell premium faux fur cat ears, his fingers hover over the section on a pretty pink website titled “tails” and decides fuck it, he’s going all in.

boyfriend!jungwon who has the nerve to look sheepish when you enter his room waving around a pretty pink parcel with cartoon cats plastered all over it labelled with his name.

“discreet packaging they said,” jungwon snorts to himself.

boyfriend!jungwon who quickly turns from embarrassed to embarrassingly hard when you return from the bathroom with the pristine white fur ears clipped into your hair.

“you like em?” you tease, giving him a little spin.

boyfriend!jungwon whose breath catches in his throat when he sees a fluffy tail dangling from underneath your skirt. you’re quick to notice his expression.

“what’s a kitten without a tail?” you question rhetorically, stalking towards him.

“i didn’t think you’d actually put it in,” he gulps, hands ghosting over your sides like he almost can’t believe you’re real.

you smile, climbing into his lap, peppering kisses all along his jaw.

“only thing missing is my collar,” you giggle.

boyfriend!jungwon who is relentlessly teased by the boys when they catch a glimpse of the red streaks left all down his back by your nails.

boyfriend!jungwon who just winks in response.

“cat scratches.”

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ YOURS, FOREVER ━ JAY

contents. after years apart, you and jay meet again. both married, both trapped in lives you never wanted, still haunted by the love you’ll never truly escape. tags. angst but not really, SMUT, semi-public sex, unprotected sex, cheating (both) pairing. jay x reader my note. god forbid i write something based on my asks when i can just write jay angst and smut <3 library.

the rain was relentless, a cold, unforgiving drizzle that soaked through your coat and into your bones as you walked through the city streets. it had been years since you last saw him, years since you had torn your heart in two and walked away. you told yourself you’d moved on, that you’d built a life worth living. but every day felt like you were playing a role, acting out a script that wasn’t written for you.

tonight, the weight of it all felt unbearable.

and then, as if summoned by the universe to twist the knife deeper, you saw him.

jay was leaning against the entrance of a small, dimly lit café, his figure half-hidden in the shadows. his hair was damp from the rain, falling into his eyes in that familiar way that used to make your heart skip a beat. he looked older, more worn—just like you. but he was still the same jay who had once held your entire world in his hands.

you wanted to turn away, to run before he saw you, before the floodgates of everything you’d kept buried could open. but your feet wouldn’t move, your body betraying you as it always had when it came to him.

his head lifted, and then his eyes found yours, the shock and pain in them so clear it felt like a physical blow.

“y/n,” he breathed, his voice cracking as he spoke your name. it was a sound you’d dreamed of and dreaded in equal measure.

“jay,” you whispered, trying to force a smile, but it came out as a broken, pathetic attempt. “it’s been a long time.”

he nodded, his eyes never leaving yours, as if he was afraid you’d vanish if he looked away. “yeah… a long time.”

there was so much to say, so much history and hurt between you, but neither of you seemed able to find the words. the silence stretched out, heavy and suffocating, until finally, he spoke again.

“how… how have you been?” he asked, but you could see the truth in his eyes—he knew. he knew you weren’t happy, just as you knew he wasn’t.

“i’m married,” you said, the words bitter and hollow. “two years now.”

he winced, his eyes flickering down to your hand where the thin band of gold glinted dully in the light. “me too. three years.”

the silence returned, and you felt like you were drowning in it, suffocating under the weight of all the things you should have said, all the things you wanted to scream.

“are you happy?” he asked, and it was the cruelest question he could have asked, because you both already knew the answer.

you shook your head, unable to trust your voice. the tears you had held back for so long burned in your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. you couldn’t break down now—not in front of him.

“i thought… i thought it would get easier,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “i thought if i married her, if i built a life with her, i’d stop thinking about you. but it’s like you’re a part of me, y/n. a part i can never escape.”

his words were a knife twisting in your chest, reopening wounds you thought had healed. but they hadn’t. they had just festered, hidden under the surface, waiting for this moment to tear you apart.

“i tried to move on,” you choked out, the tears finally spilling over, mixing with the rain on your cheeks. “i tried to love him, but every time i look at him, i see what we could have had, jay. and it hurts. it hurts so much.”

he reached out then, his hand trembling as he touched your face, his thumb brushing away the tears. “i’m so sorry,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “i’m so sorry i wasn’t strong enough to choose you. to fight for us.”

you closed your eyes, leaning into his touch, even though you knew it was wrong, even though you knew it would only make it harder to walk away again. “why couldn’t we have been enough?” you asked, the question tearing out of you, raw and desperate.

“i don’t know,” he replied, his voice thick with tears he was trying to hold back. “god, y/n, i don’t know. but if i could go back, if i could change everything—”

“but you can’t,” you interrupted, pulling away from him, the loss of his warmth making you shiver. “we can’t. we made our choices, and now we have to live with them.”

he nodded, his hand falling to his side, and the look on his face was one of utter devastation. “i love her, y/n,” he said, and it was clear he was trying to convince himself as much as you. “but it’s not the same. it will never be the same.”

“i know,” you whispered, your heart breaking all over again. “i love him too, but… he’ll never be you.”

you took a step back, knowing if you didn’t leave now, you never would. “goodbye, jay,” you said, your voice trembling. “take care of yourself.”

“y/n, wait—” he reached for you, but you were already gone, turning your back on him, on the love you would never truly escape.

as you walked away, the tears you had tried to hold back poured down your face, mingling with the rain. and even though you knew you had done the right thing, even though you knew you couldn’t have stayed, it felt like you had just torn your heart out of your chest and left it behind with him.

and maybe you had. because as you disappeared into the darkness, you knew a part of you would always be with jay—lost in what could have been, trapped in a past you could never reclaim.

however, jay had caught up with you, gripping your arm, because how could he lose now, when you're so close to him, just a step away.

the rain poured relentlessly, drenching you both as you stood frozen in the downpour. jay’s hand gripped your arm, his eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that sent shivers down your spine. the air between you was electric, charged with years of unspoken words, unresolved emotions, and the undeniable pull that had never truly gone away.

“i can’t let you go,” he breathed, his voice cracking with desperation. you could see the turmoil in his eyes, the battle he was fighting within himself, torn between what was right and what he needed. “not again. not without—”

before he could finish, his lips crashed against yours, cutting off his own words and sending a shockwave through your body. it was as if all the years apart, all the pain and longing, had culminated in this one, explosive moment. the kiss was fierce, almost frantic, like you were both trying to reclaim something that had slipped through your fingers too long ago.

you moaned against his lips, your hands finding their way to his soaked hair, pulling him closer, needing him to erase every thought, every doubt. his hands were everywhere, sliding up your back, gripping your hips, pulling you so tightly against him that you could feel the heat of his body through the drenched fabric of your clothes.

“god, y/n,” he groaned against your lips, his breath hot and ragged. “i need you… i’ve always needed you…”

his words sent a rush of heat through you, igniting something deep inside that you had tried so hard for so many years to bury. you didn’t care about the consequences anymore. you didn’t care about the rings on your fingers, the lives waiting for you back home. all that mattered was this moment, this all-consuming need that had been festering inside you for years.

“then take me,” you whispered, your voice trembling with desire. “take me, jay…”

he didn’t need any more encouragement. with a low growl, he lifted you off your feet, pressing you against the rough wall of the building behind you. the cold, wet brick bit into your back, but the discomfort was nothing compared to the fire blazing between you. his lips moved down your neck, leaving a trail of burning kisses that made you arch into him, your breath hitching with every touch.

his hands slid under your shirt, pushing the soaked fabric up, his fingers brushing against your bare skin. you shivered at the contact, a moan escaping your lips as his touch grew bolder, more insistent. the feel of his hands on your body, the way he touched you like he was rediscovering every inch of you, made your head spin with need.

“you’re perfect,” he murmured against your skin, his voice husky with desire. “so perfect…”

his words sent a thrill through you, your body responding to him in ways you had tried to forget. you could feel his need pressing against you, hard and unyielding, and it only fueled the fire burning inside you. you wanted more—needed more.

your fingers fumbled with the buttons of his button-up shirt, your hands trembling with urgency as you pushed the wet fabric aside, desperate to feel his skin against yours. his chest was firm under your touch, the heat of his body a stark contrast to the cold rain that continued to fall around you.

“jay…” you gasped, your voice laced with desperation as your hands roamed over his chest, his shoulders, his back. you couldn’t get enough of him, couldn’t get close enough, couldn’t feel enough.

he seemed to be losing control as well, his kisses growing more frantic, more demanding. his hands moved to your waist, tugging at the waistband of your pants, and you could feel the urgency in his touch, the way his fingers trembled as he worked to free you from the barriers between you.

“i need you,” he rasped, his voice thick with lust as his lips found yours again. “i need all of you…”

his words made you tremble, your body aching with the same desperate need that he was pouring into every kiss, every touch. his hands finally slipped beneath the fabric of your pants, and you gasped as his fingers brushed against your most sensitive spot, sending a jolt of pleasure through you.

“please, jay…” you begged, your voice barely more than a whisper. “don’t stop…”

he didn’t need any more encouragement. his touch grew bolder, more insistent, as he explored you with a fervor that left you breathless. every stroke of his fingers sent waves of pleasure coursing through you, building an intense heat that coiled tighter and tighter within you.

“god, you feel so good,” he groaned against your lips, his breath coming in ragged gasps as he lost himself in the moment. “i’ve dreamed about this… about you…”

you couldn’t form words, couldn’t think beyond the overwhelming need that consumed you. you were lost in him, in the way he made you feel, in the way your body responded to his every touch, as if it was made for him and him only.

at one point you had unzipped his pants and pulled them down, not all the way though, just enough. with your free hand, the one that wasn't roaming freely around his toned chest and shoulders, you softly and slowly jerked him off.

"ahh, y/n..." he was lost in an explosion of feelings all too familiar, "you'll be the death of me."

but jay wasn't a patient man, quite possessive and feisty at times. he knew what he wanted and how to get it.

when he finally pushed into you, filling you with a slow, deliberate thrust, it felt like coming home—like finding a part of yourself that had been missing for so long.

you cried out, your hands gripping his shoulders as he began to move, each thrust sending a shockwave of pleasure through you. the world around you faded away, leaving only the sound of the rain, the rhythm of your bodies, and the ragged breaths that mingled in the air between you.

“jay…” you moaned, your voice trembling with the intensity of what you were feeling. “don’t stop… please, don’t stop…”

he responded with a deep, guttural groan, his pace quickening as he lost himself in the moment, in you. his hands gripped your hips, guiding you against him with a desperation that matched your own, his lips never leaving yours, as if he was trying to memorize every taste, every sensation.

the pleasure built inside you, coiling tighter and tighter with each thrust, until it was almost too much to bear. you could feel yourself teetering on the edge, the world around you spinning as you clung to him, needing him, wanting him, loving him.

“i’m close,” you gasped, your nails digging into his back as the intensity of your need reached its peak. “jay, i’m so close…”

he groaned, his movements growing more frantic, more urgent, as he pushed you closer and closer to the edge. and then, with a final, deep thrust, the world shattered around you, pleasure crashing over you in waves so intense you couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, could only feel.

he followed you over the edge moments later, his body tensing against yours as he spilled all his cum into you, his breath hot against your neck as he murmured your name like a prayer.

you stayed like that for a long moment, clinging to each other as the aftershocks of your release rippled through you both, the rain continuing to fall around you, washing away everything but the heat of the moment.

finally, jay pulled back just enough to look into your eyes, his expression raw and vulnerable. “i love you,” he whispered, his voice trembling with emotion. “i’ve never stopped loving you.”

tears welled up in your eyes, the reality of what you’d just done crashing down on you with a brutal force. “jay… what have we done?”

but even as you said the words, you couldn’t bring yourself to regret it. not when his arms were still around you, not when the taste of him was still on your lips, not when the feel of him was still imprinted on your skin.

because in this moment, you were his, and he was yours, and nothing else mattered.

permanent taglist. @astratlantis @jongseongfile @vousty @greentulip

all rights reserved @hyuchuus 2024.

𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 (p.js)

pairing: doctor!jay x reader (f)

summary: you’ve always thought dating a doctor was hot until you started realising his job was taking your place— but don’t worry, being a doctor meant jay could always stitch your broken heart up!

warnings: fluff (like, 3am typa fluff), early 2000s au, childhood friends to lovers but they’re already lovers, angst (with comfort) cuddling and kissing, a little suggestive (no smut), they grow up together (narration starts from 18), mentions of stress and fainting, mentions of pregnancy, fighting, if more lmk. NOT PROOFREAD.

published: 29th April 2024

wc: 10.5k (longer than i intended ;-;)

tag list: @stolasisyourparent @jaeyunsbimbo @heelvsted @wtfhyuck @kim2005bomi @luvpjs7 @sundoie @sunghours @anittamaxwynnn @tinie03

It was the last summer of senior year at high school, the year that everyone would choose what path to undertake, the life they wanted to live, the job they wanted to get.

As scary as it sounded, you didn’t want to think about it yet, just to focus on living your last summer as a teenager before adulthood kicked in with all its difficulties and challenges.

You were laying on the bed at Jay’s holiday cottage at the lake, the temperature of the afternoon was too hot to let you stay outside, so you seeked some escape from the humidity in his bedroom. The grids were only slightly open to let some sun rays enter the room, just enough not to turn on the light.

You were reading a pook, wearing only a dump swimming suit and a pair of jeans shorts, you drenched the sheets but you knew it would be perfectly dry by the evening, so you didn’t really care.

Jay laid on the other side of the bed, your feet beside his head as he studied an anatomy book. You had a clue on how difficult it was to enter the medicine faculty, but seeing your boyfriend giving up his whole summer just to bury his nose in those headache-bringers books made you feel sympathy for all the doctors.

The book in your hand had become boring five minutes before so you just closed it, letting it rest on your chest. You nudged Jay’s arm with your foot “I’m bored.” You let out a small sigh

He looked up from his study material and gave you a soft smile before reaching out to pat your ankle. "I know you're bored, baby. But I'm only an hour away from finishing this.” Jay gave you a reassuring smile

“After I’m done we could go outside and sail the small boat?” A couple of minutes of silence passed and he was ready to you making a fuss about how boring and dull studying was until you said “Or maybe I can help you with your studies?”

"You sure that you wouldn't mind helping me with my studies?" He replied, raising his eyebrows. He let go of your ankle, but he quickly pulled you by your knees while you were curled up on his bed and laid you on top of his lap instead, so now you were using his body as a mattress.

“I’m not as smart as you,” You murmured, snuggling comfortably on his chest as he placed the book in front of both your faces. The amount of latin and difficult words made you close your eyes right away “I’ll just flip the pages when you need.”

Jay let out a low chuckle and pressed a featherlight kiss on your head. It was a small team game, he tried to involve you in his studies, making you ask him some questions to know if he had said it right.

You felt a warm sense of pride in your chest to know that your boyfriend was working so hard for the sake of his dream. You flipped to a page that had a big skeleton drawing on it, beside it there was a man with all the muscles without skin.

You scrunched your nose at the amount of names all the bones and muscled had “You memorised all those names?”

“Not as easily as others do," He confessed, letting out an audible sigh as he caressed your head. "I find it easier when I explain the answers to someone who's willing to listen."

You looked up to his face, your eyes shining with endless love “I’m always willing.”

Jay gave you a sheepish smile, hooking one arm under your knee to intertwine both your legs together. He squeezed your hip in response and you two resumed studying together.

After around fifteen minutes, you started to become bored again. All those letters made your eyes feel heavy, you blinked them a few times “Are you done yet?”

He chuckled softly as he shook his head from side to side. "I still have to memorise more chapters," He sighed, looking up at you with an apologetic grin.

Despite his efforts, it was clear that he was having troubles memorising the contents of the page, and even he knew he was going to be up for quite a while more.

You caressed his chest, feeling the heat radiating from his body even under the white sleeveless shirt he was wearing.

You toyed the necklace you had given him for his fifteenth birthday in your fingers, the same jewel he had sworn to never take off “What are you studying now?”

He raised his eyebrows and looked down at you, smiling as he watched you play with the necklace. "Right now I'm studying about different body systems and conditions, the respiratory system." he said, looking back down at you

You laid your ear on his chest and he fell silent, you tried to hear his breath and commented with a forced funny voice “Your lungs function well.”

“I guess they do.” Jay chuckled, rubbing your back as he continued to study.

The room fell silent once again but your head was full of thoughts.

You started thinking about your future, you pictured yourself in different situations or workplaces but none of them seemed good enough. Or maybe it was you not good enough.

"You know, it's admirable that you already know what you want to be in the future..." You murmured, snuggling closer to him.

The corners of his lips spread into a small smile as he heard your compliment. "Is it admirable for someone my age?" He asked softly, brushing your hair out of your face

“Uh uh,” You hummed, flipping another page for him “I don’t know what I want to be,” You confessed quietly “I don’t see myself anywhere.”

Jay raised his eyebrows as he stopped studying for a long moment to give you his whole attention.

He then looked down at you and lifted your chin to face him. "Are you really unsure about what you want to be in the future?" He asked, his eyes searching for yours.

Your eyes met his deep brown once, and you shook your head, feeling vulnerable. “No, I don’t.” You sighed softly “My mother… My mother wants me to go to some sort of job counsellor.”

Jay let go of your chin to caress your back again “That’s a great idea, actually.” He encouraged, smiling gently. “I mean, it’s better to ask for help now than choosing something you don’t want to do… ain’t it?”

You hummed, dropping your head on his chest “I guess so.” Your tone went quiet and he had been with you enough to know you didn’t want to discuss that topic anymore.

A few minutes passed by and your yawn caught Jay’s attention. He caressed your head, letting his hand run through your hair “You should get some sleep, Y/N.”

“And who’s gonna flip your pages?” You asked, your tone sleepy and your eyes clearly fighting to stay open

He chuckled, placing an incredibly soft feather-like kiss on your nose “I can flip them myself, you look like you’re going to pass out from your tiredness.”

“I guess I could.” You rested your head more comfortably on his chest and closed your eyes. “But when I wake up you better be done studying.”

Jay nodded “Alright baby.” He smiled, watching as you drifted off to sleep right there in his arms. At moments like that, he thought he was the luckiest man alive to have you— and he planned to never love you.

⪩⪨

College years had arrived and to no one’s surprise, you and Jay were still a couple. Seriously, you two loved each other too much to stay away from the other, even with your busy schedules.

You were laying on the lower bunk bed in his dorm. His roommates were out for dinner and left the whole house for you two. And obviously, what was Jay doing instead of spending time with you? Studying.

You acted like you didn’t really mind, flipping through the pages of a magazine. But seeing his back facing you, his hand moving as he was scribbling things on his notebook— you couldn’t help but feel sorrow.

“Are you going to study the whole night?” You asked quietly, not wanting to sound rude as you rolled on your wide to face him.

Jay raised his brows and finally turned around to look at you. His face was tired, pronounced dark circles under his eyes and he had probably skipped his self care routine for a few days. That didn’t make him less attractive, though.

“Pretty much,” He replied “I’m kind of behind on a lot of study materials.”

“Oh.” You nodded, shifting again to face the mattress of the other bed on top of Jay’s. He took in your bored expression and grimaced “You know you don’t have to stay here while I study, right?”

“But we don’t have time to spend together apart for some evenings,” You stated, looking back at him with a pout.

He chuckled softly, letting out a quiet sigh before closing his study materials and walking over to the bed. He climbed in beside you so he was under the covers with you. He then pulled you in and cuddled you tightly. "I know," He murmured, squeezing you a little tighter “I know baby.”

You rested your forehead on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, I don't want to disturb you.”

Jay laughed quietly as he kissed the top of your head. "You're not disturbing me in the slightest bit, so don't apologise,"

He said, running his hand through your hair gently. "I honestly don't mind having you beside me while I study." And you knew that, but sometimes you felt as if you were just an element of disturbance in his daily life.

It all started when you saw him fall into a deep slumber anytime he sneaked in your dorm, like he hadn’t closed eye for weeks; then how he’d always find a way to escape your dates to review a few materials and like now, when he’d study with only you in the room.

You knew he didn’t do it on purpose, he was just trying to survive college, and you felt guilty to have such resentment.

You looked up at him from his shoulder “I just… miss you nowadays.”

His eyes instantly softened "I miss you too.” He sighed “I know I’ve been studying a lot more lately, and I understand if you feel like I'm not spending enough time with you," He admitted.

“And I understand that you’re busy,” You acknowledged “You always work so hard for your degree.”

Jay smiled sadly and rubbed your arm up and down "I know I study like crazy, but it's because all of these things matter so much in the future.” He started explaining “It means that I'll be able to have a more secure job and..." he sighed again and paused before continuing “And i wouldn't have done this if I knew I couldn't spend time with you."

Your brows knitted “Don’t say that.” You raised your head so you could look into his eyes.

“You’ve been wanting to be a doctor since we were kids, Jay, And—“ Your voice cracked a little “I can’t guarantee we’ll be forever together, but you’ll always have a stable job with the degree you’re studying for.”

Jay nodded “I know that too…” He rubbed his temples, frustrated “I just wish I could spend more time with you.”

You smiled and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek “It’s okay, when exams season is over we’ll go on a small vacation, sounds good?”

He chuckled softly, wrapping his arms tightly around your body while pulling you closer towards him. "Sounds nice." he murmured, planting gentle kisses on your forehead “Although…”

You asked in a quiet voice "Although?" Jay looked away, “I still have a big exam coming up next month," He confessed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I don't know how well I’m going to do, honestly."

“Oh,” You gulped, blinking “And why do you think so?”

Jay gave you a half-smile "I Just feel like I'm not studying enough. The material i need to memorise.. It’s so much— I'm worried that I won't be able to remember most of it when the time comes."

You stayed silent for a few beats, trying to find any solution to help him “Maybe we should do a no-contract month?”

It took him a moment to process what you said "A no contact… month?" Jay repeated, looking away at the wall "Do you mean.. as in no contact with each other? For the entire month?"

You nodded slowly, not sounding sure of your own choice “So you don’t have any distraction and can concentrate on your classes?”

He raised his eyebrows, letting out a long and steady breath before speaking. "I understand it might help me with my studies, but.." Jay looked away from you again, unsure "Don't you think it's a bit too extreme?"

You fidgeted with the blanket, looking down “I know..”

“I mean... it seems pretty extreme." His fingertips then began to massage his temples. "You're right though, I do get pretty distracted when we're together, and my studies have been lacking because of that."

You tried to mask the pain you felt in your heart with a small smile “It’s just a month.”

Jay couldn't help but frown at the idea of not talking to you or seeing you for an entire month. "Yeah, but—" he started, but then suddenly realised. "Wait, does this no-contact month also mean that we can't meet either?"

“People usually do it after a break up, but we can do it just to focus on college. It’s like we’re off but we aren’t, we just don’t talk to each other for a month.” You exclaimed, nodding

He bit his bottom lip “We really can’t meet for a whole month? At all?”

“Baby, listen,” You caressed his cheek, propping yourself up on your elbows. “I don’t like this either, but it’s for the best?” You asked “I don’t want to get in your way.”

He sighed once again “You’ll never get in my way, never say that.” He then slowly nodded his head.

"I completely understand your point, but...it just feels way too bizarre.” His brows were furrowed. “I mean, we're used to talking every day, for us to stop talking for an entire month, it's just..." His words trailed off as he sighed and looked away.

You moved some hair away from his forehead “Just until your next exam.” You said “I’ll work my part time job, save some money and we’ll rent somewhere for a week, just us.”

Jay looked at you, worry painted all over his face “And you’re sure you’re completely okay with doing this?” You gulped down “No,” You whispered “But I’ll have to.”

He seemed to debate your suggestion, silence filling the room. After a couple of minutes, he caressed your cheek “Fine, I guess it's what's best for the both of us right now." He murmured.

“Just stay with me tonight,” You begged, “We’ll start tomorrow.”

His heart broke a little at your wobbling bottom lip “Let’s make the most of the night, my roommates will be back in early morning anyways.” Jay was still surprised you suggested that weird break, and he was even more stunned he had accepted.

You took his face in your hands, bringing him in for a kiss. “I love you.” You murmured on his lips.

Jay softly smiled against your mouth before he kissed you back, wrapping his arms tightly around your body as he started to pull you into him. His arms squeezed you more as he deepened the kiss a bit more, letting out a soft groan into your mouth. "I love you more.”

“No, I love you more.” You stated. He smirked and shifted position so he was now on top of you, resting his weight on his elbow not to crash you down “Bet?”

His hand cupped your cheek before slowly sliding down on your chest. You gasped since it was cold. “Jay… someone might hear us.”

“I don't care,” Jay shook his head, his tone breathless. His mouth claimed yours once again, full of unspoken but mutual feelings “Be mine for the night.”

“I’m always yours.” You said, letting him do anything he wanted, knowing you had made an oath to never leave his side.

⪩⪨

Finally, college had almost finished and it was the last day before university. Anyone would’ve been on cloud 9 but you felt a pang of sadness. It meant you and Jay had to part ways, the university he had chosen was in the big city, five hours away from your hometown.

You waited for him outside the graduation hall, seeing groups of overjoyed students throwing their hats in the air.

Jay came out of the room, rushing after having read your message. He wore his graduation gown and looked ever so perfect.

He saw you, a bright smile immediately appeared on his face as he started to walk to you.

He was incredibly nervous about leaving for college and it showed on his face as he approached you, but seeing you there made everything else seem a bit less threatening.

He finally reached you, wrapping his arms around your waist. "You came," he said softly, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

You hugged his chest and whispered “How could I not?” Jay squeezed you back as he grinned, "I'm glad that you did, but I was already sure you would.”

He gave you a quick kiss on the cheek “You never miss a single big milestone of mine.”

“I’m afraid you’re stuck with me, doc.” You teased him with the nickname, but your teary eyes gave away your true feelings.

“This year has gone by so fast.” He murmured, caressing the back of your neck "And of course I’m stuck with you. I wouldn't have it any other way." His smile was so gentle it made you fall for him over and over again.

But the grin on his face disappeared as quickly as it appeared, making you frown “What’s wrong?”

Jay shook his head, “I’m just worried about us now since we'll have to do long distance."

Your lips trembled but you still managed to let your words out “We’ll be okay, right?”

His heart sank as he noticed your trembling lips. He gently squeezed you and gave you a small, reassuring smile. "Of course we'll be okay. If anyone's going to make long distance work, it's the both of us.”

Jay caressed your cheek with his thumb “I believe in us, and I’m going to come back as often as I can so we have time together. It'll be okay."

“Right,” You forced out a smile “We’ll make it work.”

“I’ll be back for summer, we can always go to the lake cottage,” Jay reassured, knowing you’ve always loved your summer trips to his holiday house

“And whenever we have a holiday—" He muttered, a small frown appearing on his face when he realised that you wouldn't be able to see each other as often as they used to.

You couldn’t hold it anymore and a few tears fell down your cheeks, you sniffled “Of course.”

His eyes widened when he noticed you were crying "Hey... hey, hey, hey," He murmured softly, wiping away your tears with his thumb. "Don't cry right now, everything's going to be okay, mh?”

“I’m sorry,” You shook your head, smiling with sad eyes “I don’t know why I’m crying.”

Jay’s face contorted into a painful expression, his heart pounding heavily in his chest.

He had always hated seeing you crying, but knowing that he was the reason behind your tears made his stomach close. “You know that I'm going to miss you just as much as you'll miss me once we're long distance, right?" He asked.

You chuckled and nodded, sniffling once again “I’ll be here waiting for you, Jay.”

"I'll be back for you every chance I get," He promised, squeezing you a bit tightly.

"Remember to keep in touch constantly, alright? No matter how busy we are, let's always make time for each other over the phone." Jay took out his phone from the pocket. “I bought this new Nokia only for you.”

You smiled widely and showed him your phone, a Nokia of the same type just in a pinkish colour “I bought this for you too.”

Jay pulled your face close to his chest, caressing your head and hair in a gentle manner, just like he always did.

He never failed to make you fall for him with every small action, treating you as if you were worth it. And to him, you were worth every fight, every difficulty coming with relationships. He’d endure it all just to be with you.

“I’m sorry,” You took a deep breath, trying not to let your voice shake. “I didn’t even congratulate you.” You smiled widely, “I’m so proud of you, baby. I really am.”

Jay hadn’t realised how much he needed to hear that until he did.

“Thank you. Seriously, thank you, for always being by my side.” He placed a featherlight kiss on your forehead "You know, since it was your graduation today as well... Maybe I should give you a graduation present.” He trailed off “I actually have a surprise for you, if you would like it."

Your brows shot up in surprise “You do?” Jay nodded and motioned you to wait.

He battled a little with his gown before retrieving a tiny velvet box from the pocket “Here you go, baby.” Your eyes scanned it, “What is it?”

Jay bit his bottom lip to hide his smile “Open it.” He held it out for you to take. You gave him a small stare before opening the small box, revealing two couple rings.

Inside there was also a note that said ‘One day you'll get the wedding ones.’ Your breath hitched.

He smirked as he watched the expression on your face change, becoming incredibly surprised and even a bit teary-eyed as you opened the box.

His eyes softened as he glanced down at the rings “I know they're not the actual wedding bands and it'll take a while until we get to that point... but I wanted to give you these as a symbolic gesture of me promising that we'll be married someday."

You mumbled nonsense for a few seconds, happy tears rolling down your cheeks as you felt overwhelmed by his sudden actions “I love them, I love them so much— I love you.” You blurted out.

Jay held you against his chest as you both embraced each other. "I love you too," He whispered, burying his head into your hair. "I love you so much."

“Oh lord,” You stumbled a little back to look at the rings once again “How much did you pay— They look so precious.”

“Don’t mind that,” Jay wiped the remaining tear stains “You’re worth it, so very worth it.” He tucked your hair behind your ear “And you’re right, they’re precious. Like you.”

You rolled your eyes and hid your face in the crook of his neck “You’re so romantic.” Jay planted a small kiss on your head “You like it when I’m romantic.”

You stayed like that for a few more minutes, just melting into each other’s embrace.

You then sniffled and took one ring out of the small box “Doc, would you mind giving me your right hand?” He chuckled and held his hand out for you “Not at all.”

Jay smiled back as he let you place the ring on his finger, his heart instantly warming up when he realised how real this all really is.

He was finally going to be able to say that he was officially engaged, that he was soon going to be married to you. Jay looked down at the ring as you finished and his eyes started to tear up a bit.

"Thanks," his voice barely came out of his throat, but he was still able to softly smile.

You then gave him the small box and held out your hand for him. He gently squeezed your hand “Shall i?" He asked as he motioned towards your finger, wanting to put the other ring on it.

“Please, do.” You whispered, the anticipation killing you.

Jay carefully took out the ring and looked it over for a couple of seconds.

He then slipped the ring on your finger very slowly, making sure that it was fitted well “It fits perfectly.” He commented, kissing your knuckles, barely brushing his lips on them, like a true gentleman.

You sniffled again and let out a euphoric chuckle before wrapping your arms around his neck, pressing your lips on his, never wanting to get away from that boy.

The moment you kissed him, his arms tightened around you, not wanting to let go of you ever again.

He had never felt this way before until you came into his life, back in third grade. He had truly felt complete, that he had finally found the person he would spend the rest of his life with. “I want you always," he mumbled softly between the kisses.

“I want you forever,” You murmured back with the same sincerity. He kissed your lips once more, needing to fill his nostrils with your sweet scent, his mouth with the taste of you before he had to move away for five years.

⪩⪨

A couple of years passed and between ups and downs, you and Jay were still strong. Long distance was difficult, you couldn’t lie, but keeping yourself busy with your small café and meeting whenever you two had free time was enough for you. Besides, you could still call with your matching Nokias.

Which was your plan for that afternoon, you sat down on a table at your café and dialled his number, mindlessly playing with the ring on your finger as you waited for him to pick up, hoping it wouldn’t go to voice mails.

One the call reached Jay, he smiled as he recognized your number on screen, picking it up immediately. It had been some time since you both had called each other, so hearing your voice brought a smile to his face before he opened his mouth and greeted you. "Hi, babe.”

“Hey,” You whispered, relief evident in your tone “Am I calling in a bad moment?” You asked, hearing chatterings from the other line.

“No, no, not at all.” He sat down on a bench outside his university building “What are you doing? Just working?”

“Yeah,” You sighed “But business hasn’t been going well nowadays.”

His heart instantly sank as he heard about how business hadn't been well. He wanted to be your support system always, even when he wasn't there physically as much as before. “Oh no… I mean, you're doing your best with it, right?"

“I guess I am.” You replied "No, you are." He quickly corrected you “Do you want me to come over so that we can talk about it? We can work on solutions or at least brainstorm."

You were quick to dismiss “No, don’t do five hours of train just for a small complaint of mine.”

Jay tried to recall in mind his schedules, he had finished lectures for that day, which meant he could come to you and then take the late evening train back to the city “Baby… Don’t tell me not to come over if you need me there.”

"I’m serious, Jay, it's okay," You murmured quietly "I just needed to hear your voice, if you have free time you should use it to rest."

The way that you cared for him made his heart beat fast. "I'll gladly come over," He said softly. "I have time to spare. plus.. if I come over, I can actually hug you and comfort you better than over the phone, can’t I?"

“You already came over three weeks ago.” You stated “I know, but like I said, I’d rather spend time with you than not.”

You dismissed him once again “I’m fine Jay, you don’t have to.”

“Babe, don’t tell me you’re fine if you’re not.” Jay pleaded “I don’t think you are, let me come over.”

You stayed silent a few beats “What about uni?” He knew you’d ask “I finished classes for today, I can come over for a few hours and then come back before classes tomorrow.”

You sighed, your voice cracking a little “I could really use one of your hugs.”

“Okay,” Jay breathed out “I’ll be there, wait for me at your café.”

Hating that he couldn’t teleport right to you, he hurried to the train station and waited, knowing you were going through a rough path.

You hardly ever asked for help, and Jay was sure whatever was going on had been haunting you for a while for you to call him in such a state.

After a few hours, the door of your café opened, making the small bell ring. You turned around and started saying “Welcom—“ When you realised it was your boyfriend.

Jay entered the cafe, his eyes instantly searched for you and his face lit up when he found you. It wasn’t hard, you were the only one there.

You were running towards him and he felt his whole heart melting. His arms were wide open and he smiled warmly, taking you into a warm embrace.

Jay immediately pulled you close to his chest, burying his head in your hair and breathing you in.

It had been three weeks since he last was at your side and the scent you had filled his lungs as he finally was this close to you again took him aback by how familiar and comforting it was.

You sobbed quietly, letting out all the tears you’d been holding as you hid your face in the crook of his neck, smelling the familiar scent of lavender of his clothes softener.

Your whole body quivering almost uncontrollably, and he knew you were hiding so much sadness behind those tears. “Shhh... shhh.. It'll be okay," He hissed softly, his voice calm and soothing as he kept whispering those same words to you over and over again.

You pulled away slightly, your whole face contorted in a frown “They want— They want to shut it down.”

Your sentence lacked context but he realised that your cafe was probably going to be closed down soon.

He didn't want your business to close, especially when he knew that it was your pride and joy. He pulled you back into his chest again, “It'll be okay. We'll figure something out.”

“It won’t!” You snapped, your voice breaking “It never does…”

Jay’s heart hurt even more as you shouted, your voice sounding so defeated and sad.

He didn't like the harsh reality you were facing and the fact that you would be going through this— Jay was supposed to protect you from the world, but he had neglected you for too long.

“Oh God—“ You blinked faintly, realisation hitting you “I didn’t know why I shouted, I’m sorry.”

The corner of his lips turned upwards briefly. "Hey, don't apologise for showing emotions." He gently dried your tears "It’s just... so frustrating to hear how you're losing something that you care about, that you've put so much effort in and that you're so passionate about."

You let out a bitter chuckle “It always goes this way.” Jay wanted to scold you for always thinking so low of yourself and never fighting, but he was in no position for that.

“I don’t know what to do,” You shook your head to emphasise your words “If it shuts down how will I pay the rent? I won’t have any money.”

Jay could feel you panic and didn’t want that stress and worry to get to you. "We'll figure something out," He said as he gently cupped your face and lifted it up so that you were staring at him. "We'll figure something out. You're not going to be in this alone, I promise."

You shook your head once more, sobbing “I’ll have to move back with my parents— we’ll be even further away.”

The possibility of you moving into your parents' home still made him feel sick. He wanted to keep you close to him and wanted to share a home with you.

He wanted to move in with you, not have you move back to your parents' house.

"Y/N, it's not going to come to that," He muttered softly, kissing your forehead. You sighed and let yourself go, your weight pressing on him “I’m just so tired.”

“Let me take some of that weight off you, baby,” Jay whispered “I’m here.”

You stayed silent a few beats, letting the mere presence of Jay put back the shattered pieces of your soul. “You just had five hours of train and all I did was complain.” You dried your tears with your thumb.

You showed him a faint smile “Sit, I’ll make you a cup of coffee.” He nodded and walked to the nearest table, sitting down.

You made him a cup of coffee and sat down on the chair opposite to him, smiling “It's on the house.”

He grinned softly as he took the cup, the smell of the coffee filling him with delight.

It was such a simple thing and yet it meant so much to him, given you made it. "Oh, so even though you're in a rough patch, your hospitality has not gone," he teased playfully before taking a sip.

“Call it boyfriend pass.” You winked at him. You then cleared your throat and fidgeted with the ring “How’s uni?”

Jay took another sip “Just uni, lectures… assignments here and there, many exams.” He trailed off “Just very busy.”

Your brows knitted in guilt “I’m so sorry you had to come here.” Jay took your hand in his, your rings tingling as they touched “You needed me, You needed comfort." He chuckled lightly. "And there's nowhere else I should have been other than here."

You answered with a smile and took your chair, scooting close to him. You put your head on his shoulder “Want me to stroke your hair for a bit?” He asked and you nodded “Please.”

Jay started stroking your hair, sipping the coffee with the other “How do you feel right now? Better?”

You chuckled “Less like a wreck.” A few minutes of silence followed until Jay asked “Are you scared of losing the café?”

"I feel like all the efforts I made weren't enough." You closed your eyes "I should've settled for a more stable job."

"But that would've made you so unhappy, you know?" he spoke softly. "Baby, I feel your enthusiasm every time you talk about your café, don’t regret something that made you happy.”

“What about you?" You raised my head and rested your chin on his shoulder to look at his face "Do you ever get so tired of studying you want to quit?"

"Sometimes," Jay admitted. “There were plenty of all night studying sessions that kept me up and made me question how I got to this point in life." He laughed, nudging your side playfully.

"But I would've never thought of quitting. I know it's going to pay off in the end." You hummed “Of course, You always work so hard.”

"And so do you," He whispered softly, squeezing your hand gently. "Sometimes I don't understand how you work at your cafe for so long and still have energy left to do other things... and sometimes I'm just worried about you overworking."

“You don’t push yourself too much right?” He asked, his voice laced with worry. Your sudden silence made him wonder if you were not telling him something.

“I fainted once.” You confessed. His grip tightened around your hand as he looked down at you, “You fainted? When? Why didn't you tell me about it?"

“Before Christmas break.” You whispered “It was exam season, I didn't want to distract you.”

It was in moments like those that Jay felt like giving everything up. Because why on earth would you think you were being a burden, a distraction to him when you literally fainted?

"No, no... you should have told me, even if I was busy. I would've come to you then." You sat up properly “I didn’t want you to.”

He was speechless for a minute, his mind trying to process what had happened. "Why wouldn't you want me to know? How could you go through it on your own?”

"Jay, Jay," You said, taking his face in my hands. "I'm grand, alright? I'm doing fine."

"I don't like that you hid something so serious from me," Jay muttered softly, his eyes meeting yours. "It's too important to hide from me."

“I know,” You nodded, letting go of his face “And I’m sorry.” Jay nodded at your apology “How did it happen?”

You sighed “I couldn’t afford to keep other workers so I had to run the café alone, I ran around and around and then I had a few other things.” You gulped down, recalling the moment “I went to bed feeling a little dizzy, I paid it no mind but the next morning as I woke up I fell flat on the floor.”

Jay’s whole world shuttered. He looked down to the floor, his jaw tense as he took in your words “You should’ve never ignored those signs, Y/N.” He called you by your name only when he was serious, his low voice sounding a little scary

“How could you—“ Jay took a sigh, trying to calm down “It could’ve been worse, something could have happened while you slept, you could’ve hit your head..” He looked as if he was on the verge of tears.

“Jay..” You murmured “I’m okay now, I know the risks I took, I was incoherent.” You took his hand in yours “It won’t happen again.”

“I should just transfer back here.” He got up from the chair, pacing around the room “I can take the train everyday to the city, I can do that, yeah.”

“No.” You stopped him “Jay, no.”

“Yes,” He turned around, facing you. His breath was heavy “Y/N, you— you could’ve died.”

“I didn’t.” You tried to soothe but even you felt like your efforts were worthless. “That doesn’t change the fact that I almost lost you— and I wasn’t even aware!” Jay looked like a maniac, his hands in his hair and his eyes bloodshot from frustration.

There was a moment where you both just stared into each other’s eyes, no words exchanged. Your eyes were full of regrets for having kept that from him and his were filled with the same emotion for not having taken care of you the way he should’ve.

“Don’t give up now, not for me.” You shook your head, slowly walking closer to him until you touched his forearm with your fingers, letting him know you were there. Breathing.

“You’re worth it.” Jay breathed out the same words he’d been repeating you, looking down at you, studying out features. His glance was so soft it almost hurt “Not this.” You shook your head.

Jay pulled you into a hug, so tight and full of emotions “Just three more years and we’ll be together.” He murmured “Just a little bit longer and we'll be able to share an apartment together. Just you and me."

You smiled on his chest, hugging him back “And we’ll get married.”

His entire face lit up with glee whenever you mentioned the idea of marriage, his finger swirled around the ring on your finger. “And we'll get married," He whispered softly, his eyes still focused on yours. "We'll finally be married and our families will finally stop asking us about our wedding plans," He laughed, the previous tension already forgotten

“Don’t even get started.” You laughed as well

"Yeah, for me it's my mom constantly bothering me with 'so when is it going to happen?'" He paused for a moment and cocked his head to the side playfully. "And for you? Is it your dad that's constantly bringing up the topic?"

You smiled and nodded “He’s afraid he’s going to die before he can walk me on the aisle.”

“That’s just a better incentive to wife you up.” Jay held your arms in his hands, gently rubbing them. You looked up at him and couldn’t help but cup his face, bringing your lips to him once more.

Jay’s eyes lit up the moment you kissed him. He let out a soft murmur, his lips responding to your kiss softly.

“I missed you,” You murmured between kisses “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too,” Jay responded, his lips travelling to the back of your head, tilting it to deepen the kiss “Only three years and you’ll be mine forever.”

“I think I’ve always been yours.”

⪩⪨

Another year had passed and New Year’s Eve came. A bummer that Jay could not come back to you those holidays because he had found a job to maintain his studies and was simultaneously studying for an extra course. After the small fight you had at the café (that shut down not long after) you two grew closer, if it was even possible.

Despite the long distance, you felt so connected to him. You dialled his number, feeling as you waited for him to answer.

Your phone beeped a bit before hearing his familiar tone on the other end. "Hey babe," His voice was as bright as ever “Did you miss me?"

“Hi,” You breathed out, sniffling due to the cold temperatures “I don’t miss you at all.” You teased

Jay’s brows furrowed slightly as he heard you sniffle. "Hey, are you okay? Are you sick?" He asked instantly with concern, ignoring your playful joke and wanting to make sure you were alright.

"I'm outside!" You explained happily, looking around at all the people inside the main square "Fireworks are nicer if you see them from here."

He let out a sigh of relief when he heard that. “Good. you gave me a bit of a scare there, babe. Are you enjoying yourself?” As expected, the soon-to-be doctor always worried for nothing.

“No, there are so many couples here," You joked "My boyfriend is so evil he didn’t even come to me."

Jay chuckled softly "Oh yeah? Just wait until I'm there. I'll make all those couples in the whole square jealous." He groaned, "Ugh, I can't believe I'm missing being with my girlfriend when we should be spending the new year together."

"I understand," Yoh reassured, looking up at the huge clock ticking close to the new year, a feeling of both nostalgia and excitement washing through you. "What are you doing now? Don’t tell me you’re studying".

“Well... you guessed it," He admitted softly, “...Studying. I have a final exam for my extra course coming up soon."

“No, Jay.” You said sadly “Not now.” His brows furrowed at your sudden change of tone and he asked “What’s wrong?”

You sighed “Can you drop your pen and walk to the window?”

Jay was caught off guard by the unexpected request. Though he had no reason to resist you, he set his pen and his open study books aside and stood up. He walked to his window.

"Three more minutes before the new year," You murmured "Look at the fireworks with me, the sky is only one so it makes me feel closer to you."

His eyes immediately turned to the outside, looking at the fireworks and the sky that was lit up by so many bright colors. It was breathtaking, and his eyes took it all in as he stood in the window, watching the sky as the time slowly ticked towards the new year.

He could almost imagine you right next to him, both of you watching the beautiful display together. "Yes," He whispered, “I can almost feel you right next to me."

“One more minute!” You squealed happily, earning a chuckle from your boyfriend.

Everyone started laughing and screaming, clapping their hands as the clock struck midnight, the sky lit up with more fireworks “Happy New Year, baby.” You told Jay and he said back the same words.

“Just one year and half until our big plan.” You stated, looking down at your ring.

“Just one year and half…” He repeated, a small smile displayed on his face

“We’ll be alright… Won’t we?” You asked, your voice quiet, barely audible with all the external noise. But Jay still heard you, he always did.

The question you asked was so simple, but it carried a lot of weight to it. "Yeah. We'll be okay, babe." His soft voice assured you of that. "Of course we will. We have always managed to find ways to deal with distance... we'll be fine."

You looked around and saw couples kissing and holding hands, spending that special time together. Feeling a bit overwhelmed, you stepped away from the square and back on the way to your apartment "Can you stay on the phone a little longer? Until I get home..."

“Of course baby,” Jay reassured, playing with the necklace he always wore. “I’ll stay on the phone as long as you need me.”

You started walking, your nose red and cheeks hurting from the cold weather “It’s so cold nowadays.” You commented.

"Hey... you're okay, right? Are you sure you'll be alright making your way home alone? Are you wearing enough layers?” Jay asked softly, his tone of concern obvious.

You chuckled at his words “Don’t act like my mother.”

He laughed along with you. "Sorry... I just— worry too much about you sometimes. you know?”

You nodded though he could not see you. “I know, but I'm grand here.” You hummed “I’m an independent woman.”

“That may be true,” Jay stated, his whole face shining from the light of the fireworks “But your boyfriend here is worried about your health, especially in this cold weather.”

"I’m about to reach home and then i'll take a warm shower and go to sleep," You murmured, placing your free hand in your pocket "You don't study until late night, ok?"

"Well..." His voice was playful "No promises, a man's got to get good grades.” But your tone wasn’t “Please Jay… At least not today.”

“Okay, alright.” He knew you were just worried for him the same way he was for you “I’ll stop studying for tonight.”

“Promise?” You asked, “Promise.” He answered.

“Then, after you take a shower, can you stay on the phone for a while?” Jay’s voice was laced with vulnerability, the long distance taking a ton on him as well.

Your voice softened at his words “Of course baby,” You whispered “I’ll stay with you on the phone.”

“Hey, Y/N.” Jay murmured “Yes?” You said, fiddling with the keys.

“I love you.” You stopped moving for a moment, “I love you more.”

⪩⪨

Years passed by and vows were exchanged, Jay and you now happily lived together.

You still remembered that day when you got him at the train station, feeling all giddy to finally have the life you’ve always dreamt of with the only person you’ve ever loved.

You thought all your vicissitudes were over, that your many many years of patience had finally paid off— but no, because Jay’s traineeship was taking your place yet again.

Despite the fact that your apartment that once looked lifeless was now hosting a couple, it seemed as if it had lost its previous colours with your gloomy demeanour.

Jay spent all his day at the hospital, learning new things and trying to build a good relationship with his superiors.

And it’s not like you weren’t happy for him— No, you were overjoyed… but what about you?

Since you two became a couple, it felt as if you had spent all your life waiting for him, waiting for the life you two had promised to build together, but the only effort came from you. And now that you were married, the crack in your heart started to become a chasm.

Everything went downhill when, one day, you woke up yet again to an empty bed, the wrinkled sheets the only proof they Jay had spent the night there. He came back late and got out in the early morning— an endless circle that maybe he was used to when he was still a student.

But now Jay was your husband and you seeked all the things any wife wished for. Just some quality time would have been enough.

You got up from the bed and held your breath when you heard a noise coming from the living room. Quietly, you tiptoed to the bedroom door, peeking from the glimmer of the half-closed door.

A rather messed up Jay stomped around the house, in search of something. You got out of the door and walked inside the living room “Jay?” You asked

Without even greeting you, he just said “Where’s my spare gown?”

You blinked faintly, your mind still a little empty from sleeping “I don’t know.” Jay let out a deep groan “I told you to wash it the other day.”

“I still need to hang it with the laundry.” You replied, now remembering “You know I need it to work, Y/N.” His voice was low

“The other one?” You asked “Dirty,” He just mumbled, fumbling with some shirts “Hey! I had folded them neatly.”

“Fold them again.” Jay just answered “I need my gown, we have an important meeting today with the head doctors.”

“It’s dirty,” You stated “Just ask one of your colleagues to lend you one.”

“There’s my name on the gown.” He stopped and dropped the clothes on the floor. “I can’t talk to them while wearing someone else’s name.”

“Just cover it.” Jay rolled his eyes and let out a sigh, “I’m trying to help you.” You said, noticing his distressed behaviour.

“Well, you’re not.” He tsked, making you open your mouth in disbelief. Jay looked at you, raising a brow “What?”

“What?” You asked back with a frown “You just disrespect me and the work I do in our house and you ask ‘What’?” Your voice was dangerously low.

He gulped, glancing down at the discarded ironed clothes on the floor. He picked them up and placed them on the chair once again “Here.”

You let out a sigh and looked away. “Just take your dirty gown and go to your meeting.” You said harshly.

Jay ran a hand through his hair, frustrated “Listen Y/N— I didn’t mean to be so rude.” You still refused to meet his gaze.

“Please, love. Don’t get mad now.” He walked a step closer to you but you just backed away, making him frown “What’s wrong?”

“Everything.” You muttered, your eyes full of hurt now locking with his dark ones. His breath hitched as he took in your pained expression.

“W-Why?” He asked, genuinely confused, “If it’s because of this— I’m sorry, I’m just so stressed.”

“And I am tired.” You stated “I am tired of waking up to an empty bed and going to bed the same way, I am tired of spending all my holidays alone because of your work.”

You let out all the build frustration you had felt through the years “I am tired of waiting for you, Jay, when will all this end?”

Jay raised his hands to caress your arms but you stepped back again, not needing to break down now, but needing to set this straight.

“I know, I’ve been so busy lately.” You scoffed, “You’ve always been busy.”

“I’ve been waiting for you my whole life, Jay.” Your tone was shaky, “I’ve always supported you, since we were kids and even more after we became a couple. But I feel like I missed the most beautiful years of my life because of you.”

His breath sagged “Don’t say that..”

“But it’s the truth.” You stated “I said more ‘I miss you’s than ‘I love you’s in this relationship.”

“I—“ Jay’s bottom lip wobbled. “I’m sorry..”

You sighed, shaking your head. You then glanced up to the clock “It’s already eight, you’ll be late to your meeting.”

You turned around and were about to walk into the bathroom when Jay’s big and strong hands wrapped around your waist “I love you, Y/N.” He said, almost desperately.

You tried your best not to let your tears fall “I know,” You whispered “But maybe you love your job more.” You shrugged away from his embrace and locked yourself in the bathroom.

Jay tried to open the door but you had already turned the key, he helplessly knocked on it “Y/N, please, let’s talk this out.”

As much as you wanted it, your whole body and mind was drained from the constant feeling of sorrow you said in a quiet voice “Just go away, Jay.”

Yeah, he wasn’t going to do that. “Please, come out, let’s talk.” He pleaded

But you just dismissed him once again “I don’t know the things I’d say if we talked now.”

Jay knew he had messed up, really bad this time, and he wanted to make it right. To make it up.

How could he be so obvious to your pain? How could he have not noticed?

You had all the right to be mad at him, in fact, he deserved the slaps you should’ve given him. He deserved your anger, your resentment.

He wasn’t in his right mind that morning— Truth is, he hadn’t been for quite some time.

Traineeship was so exhausting, coming from a whole adulthood of self sacrifice and sabotage, he thought he was the only one suffering. Turned out you were as affected by his actions as him, if not even more.

Jay was so lost in thought he hadn’t even realised he had been typing the same word countless times in the report of the previous meeting. As much as he tried not to think about it, his mind kept drifting back to you.

One of his colleagues noticed his gloomy demeanour and sat on the chair in front of Jay’s desk, tapping his fingers on it “Hey there.” He waved a hand in front of his face.

“Not now, Jake.” Jay groaned, resting his face on his hand, his cheek slightly crushed against his palm “I’m not in the mood.”

“Damn man,” The doctor with the heavy australian accent commented “Who pissed in your cornflakes?”

Jay took a deep sigh, shaking his head “No one, I just am an emeritus douchebag.” Jake raised a playful brow, “Tell me something I don’t know?”

But the death glare he received from the other party made him nod in acknowledgment “Troubles in heaven?”

Jay frowned “How’d you know?” And Jake just smirked in response “You’re so obvious.”

He then leaned his elbows on the desk “Tell me everything.”

Jay tsked “Why should I?” And Jake clicked his tongue back “Dude, believe me, you’ll feel better after you confess your sins.”

“Why do you assume it’s my fault?” The Australian eyed him up and down “Is it not?”

Jay sighed heavily, running a hand on his face “I messed up really bad.”

He nodded, letting Jay know he was listening “Y/N… She’s the best thing that ever happened in my life,” He started “She is my first friend, my first love, my first kiss and time… It has always been her.” He smiled unconsciously.

“But I failed her, I think, I haven’t realised she’s been suffering in silence all these years.” Jay shook his head at himself.

“Does she regret your marriage?” Jay’s eyes widened at such a statement “God, I hope not.” But then he bit his bottom lip “I wouldn’t blame her if she did, though.”

Jake sighed “Listen man, I met Y/N only once or twice, but I see the way she looks at you.”

“How?” Jay asked “As if you were the only one in the whole world, and I mean it.”

“But maybe she doesn’t anymore,” Jay sighed softly “Maybe I lost her for real this time.”

Jake raised a brow, “You love her?” Jay looked at his colleague as if he had just offended him “I’ve always loved her and I always will.”

“Damn right!” Jake smirked, “Now, go tell her.” He shook his head, “I’m on duty.”

Jake sighed and turned the computer screen toward him, he opened a few types and typed on the keyboard and he turned towards him as well and then smiled victoriously “Not anymore.”

Jay glanced at the screen just to see his name had been replaced with Sim Jaeyun on the file with all the rounds “Why?”

Jake got up from the chair and patted his mate’s shoulder “Go get your wife back before it’s really too late.”

⪩⪨

“I’m coming home right now, I’m coming back to you and I’ll make sure you actually stay, both physically and mentally. I’m so sorry for everything baby, and I know this voice mail will probably find you in a desperate state and it breaks me to know I am the cause.” Sigh “I just hope you can forgive me, because I love you, definitely more than my job.”

You replayed Jay’s voice mail countless times, his voice breaking, clearly on the verge of tears. You sat down on the sofa, waiting anxiously for the front door to open, and when it did, you raised to your feet.

Jay rushed inside, almost stumbling as he took off his shoes and gown, discarding both of them on the floor. You both stared at each other, just taking in your presence “Hi.” You breathed out.

Before you could even comprehend what was happening, Jay’s arms wrapped around your body, your head pressed against his chest “Forgive me, love.” He whispered in your ear.

You pulled away, just enough to look inside his eyes “It’s okay—“ “It’s not.” He cut you out, “Don’t lie baby, not anymore.”

Jay’s deep, brown eyes were so sincere you felt your heart skip a few beats “I’ve been foolish, I didn’t realise your discontent for nine whole years. But I do now, I see all you sacrificed just to be with me. I see you.”

You smiled gently, looking up at him. He didn’t fail to notice the swelling and redness in your eyes “I see you too.” You whispered, placing one hand on his cheek.

“You saw me even before I saw myself.” Jay’s tone was gentle, he leaned on your palm “You never miss a single big milestone of mine.” He repeated the same words he said back during graduation day, the day he promised your hand. “I feel like I crashed your dreams, ruined your life.”

“No,” Your brows knitted “No, Jay, don’t ever say that again.” Sincerity filled your eyes “You are my dream.”

A tear fell down Jay’s eyes, a quiet sniffle escaping him. You brought his head down on your shoulders and gently patted his back “Why are you crying?”

“I thought I lost you again, because of my stupidity.” He shook his head, clinging onto your waist as if you were a lifeline.

You took his hand in yours and brought it on your chest “Do you feel it?” You asked. Jay raised his head and stared at you with teary eyes. He concentrated on the palm on your chest and felt your heart beating fast.

“That’s the effect you have on me.” Jay looked like a lost child at your words “Still?”

“Then, still, always.” You nodded your head, your lips curling into a soft smile “What happened this morning, to both of us, it was the anger speaking.”

Jay gently held your hand and brought it to his lips, his knuckles brushing on your ring finger. “I want to focus on you more, to make up for all those years we’ve lost because of my job.”

“Will you let me?” He asked, his head tilting to the side “Yes.” You breathed out

“I’ll take care of you,” He brought you closer by your hand, your chest flush against each other “I’ll spoil you rotten.” He brushed your hair away, his breath hitting your skin, making you shiver “My dear wife.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck, murmuring on his lips “I want to have a baby, Jay.” His brows shot up in surprise “You do?”

“Yes,” You caressed the back of his neck. “I want to be the mother of your children.”

“Damn love,” Jay let out a shaky breath. “You can’t say things like that without bearing the consequences.”

You bit your bottom lip, bringing him down to you “I’m ready to bear them.”

Jay took you in his arms in a swift movement, carrying you over his shoulder and spanking your ass “To the bedroom.”

⪩⪨

“Hey, love.” Jay sat down beside you by the porch of the holiday lake house, placing a mug of iced tea on the table.

“Thank you.” You thanked, taking it in your hand with a groan “I really miss coffee.”

“I know,” He smiled gently, caressing the swelling of your belly “But caffeine isn’t good for the baby, is it?”

“Dad! Can I sail the boat?” Your eldest daughter asked, pointing at the boat near the shore of the lake “Fine, but be careful!” Jay shouted so she could hear and you both watched as she sailed the little box you used to sail as well during high school summer break.

You smiled, recalling the old memory, and Jay did the same, watching your face as if you were the best view of all.

“Do I have something on my face?” You asked, feeling a little self-conscious “Beauty.” He winked at you and you nudged his shoulder playfully.

His eyes fell down on your belly once again, a warm expression displayed on his face “Thank you so much, Y/N.”

You frowned at his sudden thankfulness “For what?”

“For everything,” His voice was full of sincerity “For this baby, for our other daughter, for being by my side.”

“And thank you for loving me.” Jay added, once again kissing your ring finger, this time his lips lingering a little longer on your knuckles.

“Oh, Jay.” You let out a shaky breath “That’s very effortless.”

Your eyes then fell down on the necklace, the same one you gifted him for his fifteenth birthday. Your fingers unconsciously reached for it as you began playing with it “You still wear it?”

“I’ll take it in the grave with me.”

[⪩⪨] END.

THANK YOU FOR READING ! REBLOG (and like) AND LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS!

© I2SUNRIC | DON'T STEAL OR CLAIM AS YOURS.

stuck (s. jy)

pairing: older ceo!jake x employee!reader (f)

genre: smut.

warnings: explicit smut, dominant jakey, profanity, cheating, oral (m receiving), minor mouth play, unprotected sex🥸, minors DNI !

wc: 4.4k

🎵now playing: slow down by chase atlantic

.｡.:*:.:**:.☆*.｡.:*:.:*.｡.:*:.:**:.☆*.｡.:*:.:*

As the clock ticked toward 6:00pm, the office was slowly beginning to clear out, the only noises heard being the soft whirring of computers and a few stragglers murmuring soft goodbyes as they packed their things. However, here you were, furiously wracking your brain on how you were going to manage to get through the piles of paperwork, which had been dumped on your desk during your shift, in the span of the next half an hour when all you could focus on was the night ahead of you. After a long and grueling week, a peaceful night with your boyfriend, Soobin, was just what you needed. You smiled to yourself, already imagining his easy laugh and the way he always reaches for your hand without even thinking. You loved your boyfriend, obviously…. “Fuck this” you thought as you gathered your belongings, eager to leave and push the rest of your work responsibilities to the back of your mind. That’s a Monday job.

You adjusted the strap on your purse as you stepped into the elevator, mind too preoccupied to notice the hand quickly jamming between the doors just before they could slide closed. They opened again with a soft chime and you were pulled out of your daydream by the sight of your boss, Mr Jake Sim, standing on the other side. His tall frame, clad in a perfectly tailored suit, was almost the caricature of corporate authority. Of course, he was still here. He was always the last to leave, the type who believed in leading by example, even if it meant setting an impossibly high bar. You’d grown to admire his work ethic, even if it made the rest of you look a little lazy by comparison. “Heading out?”

“Yes, just about to.” You replied, trying to mask the slight annoyance in your tone. The last thing you wanted was to get trapped in a conversation about quarterly reports when you were this close to freedom. You shifted awkwardly as he stepped in. The silence between the two of you was loud, the only noise being the hum of the elevator as it began its descent, the small space amplifying the tension between you. It wasn’t that you disliked Jake; it was just… you two had history and he had a way of making everyone feel like they were being judged. His presence was a stark reminder that, in the hierarchy of the corporate world, you were just another cog in the machine.

12…11…10…9… You glanced at your watch, willing the elevator to move faster. You were eager to get out of the building, away from the sterile fluorescent lights and the endless stream of emails that had plagued you all day. You thought about texting Soobin, who was probably waiting in the car park for you right now, to let him know that you were on your way down. 8…7… But as if in response to your thoughts, the elevator jolted to a sudden halt. The lights flickered before the emergency lighting kicked in, leaving a dim and eerie glow over the two of you.

“Did we just…?” You murmured, looking up at the ceiling.

Jake moved quickly, pressing the buttons on the panel, but received no response from them. He pulled his phone out before sighing, the first sign of irritation breaking through his composed exterior “No signal.”

“No… no no this can’t be happening-“ You groan, panic evident in your faltering tone.

Jake responded with a short nod, his expression unreadable. “It looks like we might be in here for a while.”

As the minutes dragged on, you tried not the think about how long you were going to be stuck like this, or how it was ruining your plans with Soobin and how you didn’t have signal to let him know. Instead, you focused on staying calm, hoping someone would come to your rescue soon. But with every passing second, the shiny metal walls of began to close in on you. The silence between you and Jake grew heavier… and it wasn’t just the discomfort of being trapped. There was an unspoken tension between the two of you that neither had fully addressed but were both painfully aware of.

A year ago, things had been different. You had been one of Jakes top performers, a rising star in the department. You were quick, innovative, and always willing to go the extra mile. Jake had recognized your potential early on, and he had taken you under his wing, mentoring you and giving you opportunities to shine. You had spent long hours working together on projects, strategizing late into the night. You had respected his keen business acumen, and he had appreciated your fresh perspective and dedication.

It was during those late nights that something had shifted between you both. At first, it was just a shared glance that lingered a little too long, or a casual touch—a hand on your back as he guided you into a meeting room, or the brush of fingers as you passed papers to each other. Neither of you acknowledged it but it was intoxicating, this mix of professional respect and undeniable attraction. Both of you knew it was dangerous. He was your boss, nearly a decade older, with a reputation to maintain. You were becoming a crucial member in the company, with too much at stake to risk your career over something that could never be. Yet, the attraction was there, undeniable and electric, simmering just beneath the surface of your interactions. Not to mention your relationship.

But everything changed six months ago. You had been working on a major client pitch—one that could secure a crucial contract for the company. You had poured everything into it, sacrificing weekends and late nights, and Jake had been there every step of the way, guiding you, challenging you to push harder. There was an unspoken understanding between both of you, a mutual trust. The late nights grew longer, and the tension between you more palpable. There were moments when you were alone in his office, when knees would bump and the conversation would drift away from work, and for just a second, you would both forget who they were supposed to be. The lines blurred, and the unspoken attraction nearly spilled over into something neither could take back.

Then, just days before the presentation, he had unexpectedly pulled her from the project. No explanation, no discussion—just a curt email informing you that the project would be handed over to another colleague. You had been blindsided. You tried to ask him why, to understand what had gone wrong, but he had become cold and distant, shutting down every attempt you made to discuss it. Rumours circulated that the decision had come from higher up, that Jake had been pressured by senior management, but he never confirmed or denied them.

The fallout had been swift. You felt humiliated, betrayed by someone you had looked up to. You distanced yourself, retreating into your work, but the easy camaraderie you once shared was gone. You could barely look him in the eye during meetings, and your interactions became strictly professional, devoid of the warmth and mutual respect the two of you once had.

For you, being this close to him again brought back all the confusion, the hurt, but also the desire that had never fully gone away. The small space seemed to amplify the awkwardness, each moment stretching into an eternity as you both grappled with the weight of your unspoken history. Neither knew how to bridge the gap, or if it was even possible anymore.

Jake leaned against the wall of the elevator, his eyes flickering over to you every so often. You could tell he was uncomfortable too, if not more than you, but his poker face gave nothing away. He looked away, clearing his throat.

“You still seeing whats-his-name?” His voice was casual, but laced with an underlying curiosity

“Soobin?” You shifted awkwardly, playing with your fingers “Uh, yeah. I am.”

He nods slowly, as if he expected the answer, but still felt a pang of… jealousy? “Serious, huh?” He almost scoffed, feigning nonchalance.

“Yeah. We are.” I shrug, making Jakes eyes narrow slightly.

“Why him?” The question was blunt, almost blunt enough to be rude. He couldn’t help himself though, the thought of you with someone else, especially someone as carefree and easy going as Soobin, rankled him in a way that he couldn’t admit.

I scoff lightly. “Are you really going to do this now Mr Sim?”

“Oh, so its ‘Mr Sim’ now, is it?” He retorts, a familiar irritation settling in. “What happened to ‘Jakey’?”

“I’m pretty sure you made it clear that you wanted us to be strictly professional when you dropped me from that project.” You grit, the memory still a sore spot between the two of you.

He bristles at the reminder. “That wasn’t my decision,” he sighs, the excuse sounding weak now, especially in the confinement of the elevator. He turns to look at you properly. “And that was different. That was work. This… this is something else.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Bullshit, don’t act like that.” He takes a step closer towards you, invading your personal space “Like you don’t remember the late nights, the tension, or have you conveniently forgotten all about that part?”

“Mr Sim don’t do this. Not now.” You finally meet his gaze, your patience warring thin.

“Why not?” He counters with a bitter laugh. “Seems like as good a time as any to have this conversation.”

“There is no conversation to be had,” You swallow harshly as he steps closer, his tall frame looming over you “it was a mistake.”

“A mistake?” His jaw clenches, the air thicker than it was. “Is that really what you think it was?”

You couldn’t deny that you knew full well what it was. You liked Jake, as much as you wouldn’t admit. The worst part being, he was everything your boyfriend wasn’t. He was everything you longed for your boyfriend to be. You felt awful, in fact, the knowledge of your feelings towards Jake had been eating away at you everyday since the day they started. The late nights working side by side, the discreet touching, it was more than a simple attraction; it was completely wrong. But that just made you want it even more.

The proximity was almost intoxicating, the familiar heat of his body igniting a fire in you that you had tried so hard to smother. You could smell his cologne, the same scent that you would spend hours trying to rid yourself of before going home after late nights spent with him at work. The memory hit you like a physical blow, and you found yourself holding your breath. You cursed your body’s betrayal, the way it ached for his touch, even as your brain screamed in protest.

Jakes gaze darkened, the last shred of his patience and self-control hanging by a thread. He lifted his hand, his fingers hovering a mere inch away from your face. It would be so easy. So easy for him to claim what he had been yearning for, to forget the boundaries he had placed between you.

“Would this be a mistake too?” He asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Jakey…”

His resolved shattered. He surged forwards, his hands gripping your waist and pulling you hard against his chest, crashing his lips onto yours in a passionate, desperate kiss. The months of pent-up desire, the longing, the uncertainty, it all exploded in that moment. You opened your mouth to protest, but his tongue delved deep, silencing any words. He pushed you back against the wall, pinning you there as his lips claimed you with an intensity that was almost animalistic.

One of his hands reached to tangle in your hair, tugging it back to give him access to your neck as he began to suck and nip at the sensitive flesh. You gasp, almost whining, and he relished in the sound, his other hand gripping your thigh and hoisting it up to hold against his hip.

“Jake we can’t- not here.” You protest.

“Don’t care,” he retorted, his lips trailing to your collarbone. He nicked softly at the skin, his teeth grazing the flesh and leaving small marks “I’m tired of pretending I don’t want you.” He ground his hips against yours, making his intentions and arousal blatantly obvious. His hand caressed your thigh, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. “You don’t understand how torturous it’s been, seeing you every day and knowing I can’t touch you.”

His hand slid under your blouse, his touch igniting sparks across your skin. It was wrong, so wrong, and yet it felt so right. He pulled the fabric taunt, his large hand splaying over your stomach. You arched into his touch, begging for more.

Jake smirks at your reaction; the small sighs and whines that leave your pretty lips as you subtly arch your back. He knows you want it as badly as he does, your body giving you away. His hand slides up your ribcage, his fingertips brushing the sensitive skin below your bra.

“See?” He murmurs, his hand cupping your breast through the thin lacy fabric that he loved so much. “I knew you wanted this; wanted me.” His voice was gravelly, rough with desire. You knew he was right. Youd fought against it for so long, denying your feelings and convincing yourself you were happy with your relationship. But now, here, with jakes body pressed against yours like this, all your justifications seemed hollow. He tilted your head up, forcing you to meet his heavy gaze. His eyes were dark, almost predatory, and they pierced right through you.

“Say it.” He commanded and his hand kneaded your breast gently “Say you want me.”

“I want you Mr Sim.” You whimper without any hesitation.

“That’s what I thought.” His mouth was back on your neck, his tongue licking a hot, wet trail down the column of your throat. His teeth sink into your pulse point, sucking the skin into his mouth. You could feel his hand sliding lower, his fingers hooking into the waistband of your trousers. He was driving you insane, reducing you to nothing but a whining mess as he slowly unbuttons your blouse. He pops one button at a time, kissing and biting the skin in between each one.

You moan, tilting your head back to give him complete access to the sensitive skin on your neck whilst one of your hands reaches to tangle in his hair. He responds to your touch with a deep, guttural sound, somewhere between a growl and a purr. He pushed your breasts together, pulling away from your neck to purse his lips. You watched as a glob of spit falls from his lips and lands on one of your nipples before rolling down the crevice.

Jake moaned loudly, immediately ducking his head to smear his lips around your boobs, nipping and sucking at them. You moan louder, arching your breasts further into his mouth and allowing his to suck them properly. He devours your tits, each falling out of his mouth with a satisfying 'pop'. His mouth returned to yours, his tongue delving between your lips to devour you entirely. He catches your lip between his teeth, biting down gently.

“On your knees.” He ordered, and you obeyed immediately.

He inhaled sharply as he watched you sinking to your knees before him, his hands instinctively going to your hair. “Look at you, doll,” He muttered. He ran a thumb over your bottom lip, smearing any lipstick that remained. “I’m sure your boyfriend wouldn’t approve of this.”

You whine, the mere idea of your boyfriend having completely slipped your mind. But you were too far gone to care, opening your mouth slightly, just enough for him to slip his thumb past your teeth. His eye darkened further, the digit sliding further into your mouth.

“You like sucking on my fingers, don’t you?” He chuckled; his voice thick with need. “Bet you like your boyfriends just as much.”

“No sir.” You shake your head meekly. “Like your fingers so much more.”

“Is that so?” His voice was a little raspier now, desperate for something more than just this back and forth teasing. “Then show me how much you like them.”

You take index and middle finger whole, gagging and swirling your tongue around the thick digits. Jake groaned, his eyes widening as he watches you take him so easily. He tightened his grip on your hair, pulling slightly. “That’s it.”

His unoccupied hand moves to the front of his trousers, undoing his belt and top button in one fluid motion. He was achingly hard, and the slight of you like this in front of him was thinning his patience. You pull your mouth from his fingers, reaching up in a desperate attempt to help him undress. He let out a hiss as your fingers make contact with his strained pants. “Yeah, unzip me then.”

The sound of his zipper being drawn echoed in the quiet elevator. He couldn’t take his eyes off you, your wet lips, the way your fingers fumble with his pants, the flush on your cheeks that gave away your mounting excitement. God, he was desperate.

You get his pants down, whining as he tugs your hair forward to press your cheek flush against his thick bulge. The feeling of you face against his clothed dick make him shiver, his hips canting forward involuntarily; seeking more contact. “You like that, don’t you? God your so dirty. Are you this dirty for your pathetic boyfriend too?”

“No sir, only you.”

“Good,” He groaned again, pulling on your hair again. “I don’t share.”

Your finger hook underneath his boxers waistband, tugging on the elastic and letting it snap back against his skin before pulling them down completely. He helped you, kicking the boxers down until the pooled at his ankles with his trousers He stood there, his lower half completely exposed to you, but he held your chin in his face, keeping you gaze on his.

“You see how much you affect me, doll?” He smirked predatorily as your eyes fixed on his cock, hard and flushed against his stomach. “But you’re gonna take care of this for me, aren’t you?”

Your tongue darted out, licking a tentative stripe up the underside of his boner. He let out a shuddered breath, his hand clenching reflectively in your hair. He guided your head closer, encouraging you to take him properly. You run your tongue over his slit before closing your lips around the head. He groaned, his body arching towards you and silently bidding you to keep going.

“Look at me when you suck my dick baby.” He ordered. Your eyes immediately catch his gaze; his half-lidded eyes that perfectly complimented his bottom lip caught between his teeth. The sight encouraged you, holding his gaze as you take him whole and wrapping your lips around his base. Jakes head rolls back, a deep, guttural moan escaping his throat. He pants as you begin bobbing your head at his base, your nose nudging against his lower abdomen with a soft gag. “Fuck, just like that.”

You speed up, taking him even deeper - if that was possible, desperate to take as much of him as you possibly could. His muscles clenched in response, his abs flexing as he drew in a gasping breath. He finally looks down at you again, eager to see what you look like taking him so far down your throat like this; and you didn’t disappoint. You looked at him through your eyelashes, sucking him so deliciously with a teary expression. He couldn’t look away; he didn’t dare. It was too perfect, so erotic and beautiful.

“You can’t look at me like that, YN,” He moans. “I won’t last.”

You immediately double down, bobbing and swirling your tongue like your life depended on it. You had a different purpose now; this was no longer about him, this was about you. You and your desperation to taste him. His hands twist in your hair, his grip border lining on painful.

“Holy fuck-“ He choked, his stomach coiled like a spring. He was so close to cumming, but he didn’t want to. Not yet, not like this. He moved your mouth off him, pulling you up to your feet and pushing you back against the wall. “Turn around. Now.”

As soon as your back is turned to him, his hands are on you in an instant. His fingers run up the clothed skin of your thighs before reaching around the unbutton your trousers. He undid the button and zipper with a swift, practiced motion, each tooth separating echoing in the cramped space. He pushed the material down, the cold air hitting your soaked core immediately. His hands glide slowly over the newly exposed skin, teasing you.

“So smooth,” He mused, his voice almost a soft whine. “I knew you’d be.”

He pushes your thighs together, rutting his dick between them. You moan in unison, his tip bumping against your clit. He just couldn’t help himself, seeing you so wet and puffy for him was making him borderline insane.

“Don’t tease me, Jakey.” You whine as he holds your thighs closer together. He chuckled at your pleading, the old nickname making his spine shiver. He ruts between your thighs one more time before abruptly slipping into your pussy. You gasp loudly as he pushes in, grasping onto the hand-railing in front of you as you adjust to his size.

“Shit, you’re so tight,” He groans as he grips your hips, pulling you back to take him fully as he finally begins to rock into you. “Does your boyfriend even fuck you?”

You were too lost in the moment, the feel of him, the way he held you, the sound of his voice, that you could barely form a coherent thought, let alone speak. But when he mentioned your boyfriend, a pang of guilt stabs at your chest.

“No?” He assumed, scoffing loudly. “I bet he doesn’t even know how to.”

His arm tightened around your waist, pulling your back against his chest. His hips speed up, making your head fall back against his shoulder with a loud moan.

“You need someone who can take care of you,” he told you, his breathing becoming a little ragged. “Someone who knows what you want, what you need.”

The only thing that can be heard in the confined elevator now is skin slapping, combined moans and your body hitting the metal wall with each deep thrust. You respond with a whine, pushing your hips back to encourage him. He catches your signal, slamming his hips against yours.

“That’s it, baby,” He hisses, his fingers digging into your hips desperately. “Take what you need.”

You could feel every inch of him. Every inch of his thick, veiny length as he filled you up perfectly with each thrust. It made your head spin as you moaned and cried desperately. There was no you could go back to your boyfriend after this, not now that you knew what real dick felt like. And he seemed to sense your realisation, the way your body arches against him, the way your eyes rolled back so beautifully. You were HIS now.

He increased his pace, his tip bumping against your g-spot with every harsh blow. The pleasure was mounting between you, both of your stomachs coiled like springs. But neither of you dared to say anything, too desperate to prolong this moment for as long as possible.

He could feel you getting tighter, your pussy clamping down on him like a vice; like you never wanted him to pull away. Jake moans, a needy whine in his throat. Every movement, every breath, moan – it was all for you. He was entirely wrapped up in you.

“I’m so close baby.” His hips bucked forwards more, aiming to get as deep as he possibly could.

The sound of his moans, the way he was falling apart because of you, it only served to push you closer to the edge. You could feel his eagerness and it made you want him even more. “Me too!”

“You gonna make a mess on my dick?” He pants, his tip continuing to slam against your g-spot. "Gonna make a mess like a good slut?"

“Yes!” You moan loudly. His hips stutter at your admission, his rhythm growing erratic and sloppy. “Wanna cum with you.”

“Please let me come in your sweet pussy, baby” He whines, desperately nudging his nose against you neck before attacking the spot with bites.

“Fill me up sir!” You push back against him again. But it wasn’t enough for him, he needed you to cum.

“Cum for me. Be a good girl and cum on this dick.” And that was all it took for your walls to clamp down on him and for your juices to explode down your thighs with a loud cry. His head dropped to your shoulder, his breathe catching in his throat, the feeling and sound of you pushing him headfirst into pure ecstasy.

“Fuuck, doll!” He came, filling you up perfectly with a loud whine as his arms wrapped around you in a vice-like grip. He stayed like that for a moment, panting into your neck. He didn’t want to move, his body taut with exhaustion. “You look so pretty when you fall apart like that. So pretty.”

He slowly pulls out of you, almost hardening again when he watches his cum drip down your thighs in thick globs. You flinch as you turn around, a ball of clothes hitting you in the face. Your fingers grasp the clothing, pulling them down from your face to glare at him. “Yeah, real classy.”

As if on cue, the elevator jolted, beginning its decent again. You sigh, relieved that you could finally escape the humid box you had been trapped in for the past 20 minutes. You both put your clothes back on, smoothing the fabric and fixing each other hair. The elevator finally reaches the ground floor, both of stepping out together.

“See you Monday?” He smirks.

“See you Monday.” You roll your eyes as you turn on your heels. You walk away from him and out into the car park, desperately hoping Soobin hadn’t left yet. Jake watched as you retreat out of his view, thanking god.

Thanking god that you didn’t notice him push the emergency stop.

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@ hvseung, 2024. do not repost or reuse in anyway. thankyou :)

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CRIMES COMMITTED AGAINST WOMEN, ITS HER FAULT?

RG KAR MEDICAL COLLEGE&HOSPITAL, THE HEINOUS ACTS

NOTE: THIS POST HAS INFO SOLELY BASED ON MY OWN RESEARCH, SOURCES FROM THE NEWS AND INTERNET SO CREDS OF SS TO THE OWNERS. if you have any other information regarding this case, please please do feel free to reblog this and share them, as i can't compile everything in one post due to the case being an ongoing one. I would appreciate if you could read all of it, I tried to keep it short and compact and easy enough for everyone to understand. Of course, I have to keep a few names and specific political parties and critism out of this for obvious reasons of this post being taken down, but trust me, karma is real.

Do tell me if I lack anything, will try my best to add it or make another post about it. WE WANT JUSTICE.

01 TAKE HER NAME, DON'T FORGET HER

Dr. Moumita Debnath, a junior female doctor, a 2nd year PGT at R G KAR medical college and hospital was gang r4ped and m4rdered in the college seminar hall, while she was in a 36 hr shift, in 9th of August, 2024, Kolkata.

R G KAR, a reputed college and hospital, only allowing the top of brains to enter its premises, has now lost it's name to this heinous crime. Moumita debnath's perpetrators live to this day and the college authorities are yet to pay any heed. Why?

That poor girl was bleeding from her eyes, vagina, with disfigured limbs and broken collarbones, bite marks, broken pelvic girdle and hyoid bone several other signs of struggle and violence ( attached report below ) Even her legs were forcefully coaxed apart, that her bones were broken. 150 gms of sperm was have been discovered from her body, when a male individual can only transfer a maximum of 15 gms. Can you imagine her pain? What did she do to deserve this pain and suffering, this heinous crime against her? Can you imagine how her parents must have felt to hear the news?

Oh, I forgot. This absolute blood boiling, gut wrenching and demonic of an act was immediately announced as a "SU3CIDE" upon initial FIR, and to her parents, by authorities. Can't you see? How they tried to coarctate the matter by calling it a su3cide?

How can a girl with extreme signs of violence and r4pe on her body, with little to no clothes, broken limbs, bleeding eyes, commit a su4cide? THIS IS A BLOT ON THE AUTHORITIES WHO ARE CLEARING VIEWING THIS MATTER AS A JOKE no girl in that condition can commit a su3cide, do you really think people are THAT DUMB?? that we won't notice you trying to cover up this case??

02 TAMPER THE EVIDENCE, HIDE THE CRIMINAL

Dr. Moumita Debnath's body was cremated without her parents' approval/permission. They were kept waiting for 3 fucking hours. As if to get rid of her body as soon as they can with minimal autopsy, before CBI could even start investigation.

As soon as this case was handed over from WBPD ( west bengal police department ) to CBI ( central bereau of intelligence ) mobs have barged in and LITERALLY DAMAGED THE WALLS BESIDE THE SEMINAR HALL ( the crime scene ) inside the college premises. And for what? Come on we know it all, for removal of some obvious evidence.

On 14th august, during the middle of the night which was during the ‘RAAT DOKHOLE MEYERA’ ( girls reclaim the night ) rally, in RG KAR, mobs yet again managed to infiltrate the college premises to cause damage again, this time targeting specific cctv cameras as well. They also vandalised public property and vehicles in a "profesional" way. — “MBBS student Anupam Roy, an eyewitness to the mob attack, said the mob's act was deliberate with the clandestine motive of ending their agitation.” — from Hindustan Times.

They even CAUSED HARM TO THE WASHROOMS OF THE FLOOR WHERE EVIDENCE COULD'VE BEEN FOUND. The motive of the mob is obvious— to tamper the evidence in order to protect the perpetrators.

03. POLITICS BEFORE BASIC LAW & ORDER?

Political parties are busy blaming each other and throwing dirt on names, meanwhile also trying to hide the perpetrators and start protests against opposition parties. Is your political position and meaningless arguments more valuable than a girl's life which been lost so brutally? Can we not keep politics aside, just for a moment and try to bring the girl justice? These thick skinned selfish monsters don't feel the pain of her parents, the emotions of helpless women and the crime they're commiting themselves.

They are slowly shifting away from the main matter of bringing her justice, trying to coarctate is slowly by heavy politics. Well the public is not dumb, we can see it all and understand how our CM doesn't even care about this situation.

SHAME ON YOU, the authorities, you're are only hope in this city in this state and you're acting this way?! Do you not have spines? Is money and votes everything to you? How low is too low and why is it the west bengal government?

They even have an accused suspect in custody ( Sanjoy Roy ) whom everybody is calling a scapegoat, which he possibly could be regarding the governments recent inactivities towards the situation. They are even giving out orders to resist rallies and protests, such a fucking disgrace, cause then vandalism and tampering of evidence is right but not raising your voice against it?

04. HAPPY INDEPENDENCE?

This year marks the 77th independent year for India, but are we really? Women are not safe at night walking along the streets their own ancestors fought for, women are not safe in their own workplace working shifts, women are not safe in public transport, in their homes, neighbourhood, schools, colleges, NOWHERE ARE WE ALLOWED TO HAVE A PEACEFUL BREATHE. But for how long? It's been 12 years since we witnessed a similar, horrible and atrocious crime as NIRBHAYA, only for it to happen again. This shows how weak, corrupted, and unjust Indian judiciary system has become, and as an Indian myself, it ashames me deeply to admit this. We are failing as a society, still not being able to create a safe environment for our women.

But time has come now to raise our voice and fists together against this oppressive, corrupt government and snatch our own freedom ourselves. DONT YOU EVER FORGET ABOUT HER, TAKE AND HER NAME AND PROMISE YOURSELF TO BRING HER JUSTICE. If we forget and give up, god knows how many others will die like this without any justice. Justice is ours and we will have it, there is no point of being 'independent' if we have to do candle marches every other day, mourn for our women every other day, be scared of letting our daughter out every other day.

This is time, we rise up as one.

We want the actual criminals to be punished a hundred times more cruelly than Dr. Moumita Debnath was k!lied.

WE WANT JUSTICE. BRUTAL PUNISHMENT TO THE CRIMINALS.

ALL EYES ON RG KAR. ALL EYES ON DOCTORS. JUSTICE FOR MOUMITA DEBNATH.

tagging few of my moots. @leaderwon @rainytapestry @fertilizedtoesw @atrirose @hoonvrs @flwrstqr @mioons @dioll @okwonyo @okwons @heeblurs @weoris @junislqve @jlheon @sainns @hyeinism @fleurre @soov @isoobie @boyfhee @jjunae @onlyjjong @wonfilms @kissofhoon @voikiraz @koishua

Is This Love?

yang jungwon x reader [afab]

genre: fluff

concept: despite barely being of noble blood yourself there's nothing your family wants more for you than to find a man of high class and finally marry into a family of wealth and reputation. you aren't so taken with the idea, and instead find yourself gravitating to a man that your mother couldn't dislike more.

w/c: 4.7k

warning: regency era au, period typical racism and racist commentary (not graphic or violent, reader is heavily implied to not be of asian descent), period typical classist commentary, yearning, forbidden love

You’ve never really been one for parties, but it never fails that the sun of the summer tends to bring people out in droves to enjoy the sunshine and the warm weather. You’ve also never really cared for summer though, long evenings spent in your parlor, sitting in front of the fire with a hot pot of tea and a book have always been your preferred evenings but that’s quite a long way off. Right now, you’re being forced to languish away in hot skirts, fanning yourself in an effort to give yourself some kind of breeze and entertaining young suitors that you truly have no interest in. 

It’s all your mother’s doing. “You’re not getting any younger,” she reminds you day in and day out about your biological clock and how you’re running out of time. It doesn’t matter to you, the idea of bearing the children of these pompous, exhausting men is a nightmare in and of itself. If you never bear a child and spend the rest of your life being called ‘baren’ ‘cold’ and a ‘spinster,’ well, so be it.

“Oh, goodness,” your best friend whispers to you behind her own fan. The garden party today is crowded, so you’ve decided to seek refuge beside your best friend, despite the fact that she’s being trailed by her incredibly well meaning fiance. They’ll be getting married when the weather turns, it’s going to be a huge party, you’ve been helping her plan it since he proposed last autumn. Still, she’s your only lifeline that’s not either condescendingly commenting about how unfortunate it is you’ve not found a man yet or pushing said men directly onto you. 

“Something the matter?” You ask her, sipping delicately from your crystal glass. The water is tepid but it’s better than whatever booze concoction is in the communal drinking bowl. 

“Nothing,” she chirps but you simply lift a brow. “Did you happen to see who just arrived?” You shake your head but then slowly turn your head towards the entrance to the garden. “Late as always. No one taught the foreigner how to read a clock,” she comments. You glare in her direction for just a moment before turning back towards where the newest attendee of the garden party has entered. 

He’s a young man, about your age, with wide eyes, dark hair and he’s dressed impeccably in his charcoal grey suit. His hair is combed neatly away from his face and he’s greeting anyone who looks in his direction with a politeness they neither understand nor deserve. He’s always been this way, from the moment you met him last spring, transplanting from the far reaches of the East right into your back garden. If anyone had the slightest understanding of what they were looking at they would treat him better, at the very least because of the regality he seems to display and the handsomeness of his features. 

“An hour late,” your friend drones, rolling her eyes. 

“No later than you’ve ever been to a garden party. Might I remind you what kept you during all those balls during our school years?” You tease her. She harrumphs, turning to her fiance. 

“Darling, would you get me something to drink? This weather has me just parched,” she tells him. He goes without any other prodding and you smirk behind your fan. Once he’s outside of earshot she turns to you harshly. “Shut your mouth. What do you know about the things I did in our school years?” 

“You forget who covered for you so quickly?” You retort. She huffs, waving her fan around faster, as though it will be enough to cool the heat of her blush as it makes its way around her ears and up her neck. “Face it, you only say such things because you don’t care for him,” you insist. 

“As if I’m alone in that opinion,” she retorts haughtily. You don’t remember her being this petty when you were young, but you can’t very well be too surprised. She is marrying a Lord’s son and that’s sure to bring her a fair amount of social status. It makes her head the size of the moon some days, when she’s feeling especially like she suddenly deserves the world just because of who she’s going to be marrying. 

You’re just a Viscount’s daughter, which means you are owed quite a bit less status that she will inherit. Not that status has ever really mattered all that much to you. Your mother insists upon it, marrying up in the world. She did, after all, a lucky commoner’s child that happened to catch your father’s eye. Perhaps, to her, it is everything, but not you. 

You’d sooner marry for love than find yourself in a loveless, arranged marriage for the sake of your family name and nothing else. 

“Ladies.” While your friend has been harrumphing and grumping about his arrival, he’s clearly been making his rounds, finally finding himself at your side. You turn to him with a gentle smile, though your friend's politeness is clearly forced. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” he says, his voice lilting with a slight accent. 

“Well⁠—” 

“Of course not,” you’re quick to insist. You hear your friend huff at your side but you’re looking at the man before you, who smiles back at you. “Lovely to see you again, Lord Yang. How have you been?” 

“Quite well, thank you for asking. Kept busy,” he says, brushing a stray piece of hair out of his eyes. Your eyes follow the trail of his white gloved hands from his side to his hair and back down to his side. “And yourself, Miss?” He asks, which brings your attention back up to his face. Just the corner of his lips tilts upward in a sharp little smile, causing a dimple to appear in his cheek. 

“Well enough,” you reply and he lifts a brow. “Much to attend this season. I’ve been kept plenty busy with the various garden parties and balls that the noble are known to throw. I’m sure you’re much the same.” 

“Not nearly as well invited as you are, it seems,” he comments, grinning at you. “I suppose a lovely woman such as yourself must spend quite a bit of time with handsome suitors. Just as well, I heard you’re looking to be married.” 

“Not so soon,” you laugh off, shaking your head. “My friends are more the marrying types,” you say, looking over at your friend, who huffs but has a rather pleased smile hovering around her lips. 

“Ah, right. You’re betrothed to Lord Erikson, if I’m correct,” Jungwon says, turning to your friend. Her smile turns from forced to downright pleasured as she turns to face him fully, face half covered by her fan. She’s a taken woman, nothing pleases her more than being able to talk about it. 

“That is correct,” she lays on. 

The moment her awaiting marriage is mentioned, you’re left to do nothing else but stand by and listen to her regale Lord Jungwon Yang with all the glorious details of her upcoming marriage, the wedding, the manor she’ll be living in, everything bright and sparkling about being a bride-to-be. You’ve been listening to it for ages but Jungwon is a fresh set of ears to be forced to hear about it so you stand idly by, thankful to have Jungwon at your side because at least it’s a temporary shield against the many men who can’t seem to take a hint. 

Temporary is the problem, however. 

“Lady Y/L/N,” a gentleman says, coming to your side while Jungwon is being enthralled (unlikely) with the wedding plans of your school friend. You turn slowly towards him, forcing a smile to the surface despite how little you’d like to. “I understand you came to this event unattended. Might as well be a crime, a lovely woman such as yourself being left to fend for herself.” You blink at him slowly, lifting your fan towards your face. “If you’d like, I’d be more than willing⁠—” 

“I believe you got the wrong idea,” Jungwon says. You turn abruptly to him, your friend cutting herself off as soon as the words leave Jungwon’s mouth. He turns to the man at your side, tilting his head. “I don’t know quite know how as I’ve been standing here this whole time, but I assure you, Lady Y/L/N is quite well attended to for this event.” The suitor standing beside you blinks at him, stunned. “If you’d like to dance with her, you might think to ask the man attending to her, don’t you suppose?” 

“I wasn’t aware⁠—” 

“I didn’t think so,” Jungwon says. “You made that quite clear.”

The suitor clears his throat awkwardly, bending slightly at the waist in a bow to Jungwon and then straightens back up to ask, “if I may ask her hand for a dance? It would please me greatly.” He’s turned slightly to you, however, an obvious disregard for Jungwon’s opinion. You hide a smirk behind your fan, eyes downcast. 

“I’m afraid I was about to ask her to dance,” Jungwon informs him. The man turns back to Jungwon, startled by his boldness. “Thank you for your interest though.” The suitor turns to you, as though you’re going to rebuke Jungwon’s claim but you simply turn towards Jungwon. 

“You were?” You ask, tilting your head at him, lowering your fan a bit so he can see more of your face. 

“I was. It would’ve been terribly rude to interrupt your friend while she was speaking though.” He turns back to your friend, who is wearing a truly flabbergasted expression, having witnessed the entire exchange between the three of you. “I apologize for my rudeness, miss.” He bows slightly to her in apology. “You won’t mind if I take her hand in a dance though, would you?” He asks. 

“No,” she says, clearly too startled to deny him. 

“Wonderful.” Jungwon offers his hand to you. “Shall we?” 

You slide your gloved hand into his, feeling the heat of his hand in your own. Silently, you wish neither of you were wearing gloves so you could feel the full warmth of his palm against yours. This will have to do for now though as he leads you out onto the dance floor, your fan folded and hanging from your opposite wrist. 

It’s only once you’re on the dance floor, the bricked path beneath your feet, that Jungwon speaks again. 

“I apologize,” he whispers to you. You look at him to see him already looking at you. His gaze is gentle, staring at you with a kindness you’ve yet to see from the many suitors that have tried to take your hand before him. “I’m not usually so forward but, you see, I’ve waited all season to ask you to dance.” You blink at him, taken aback by his confession. “I’m not often invited to events like these so I had to seize my chance when it presented itself. I hope you weren’t too startled or offended.” 

“On the contrary, I was very impressed,” you inform him. A smile creeps its way across his lips again. “Not many men have the boldness that you do. Most men wouldn’t do such a thing for my attention. I am, after all, not that desirable.” 

“I don’t think you understand what that word means if you think that,” Jungwon retorts. “I’m afraid I’ve been working very hard to make my way through the crowds of men seeking your attention all season long.” You giggle, bringing your hand down from his shoulder to cover your mouth. “I know I’m not quite the man your family would prefer⁠—” 

“You’re a good man, Jungwon,” you interrupt him. His eyes widen in surprise at your bold statement. You feel warm with embarrassment at stating something so abruptly and interrupting him in the process. You cover your mouth with your hand again. “Oh, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have⁠—” 

“Thank you,” he tells you. Your embarrassment dies down at his words and you look at him from under your lashes. “Not many people would say that to me.” 

“You shouldn’t listen to what other people think,” you tell him, resting your hand on his shoulder again. The hand on your waist tightens just a bit, pulling you the tiniest bit closer to him. It’s not unseemly, not yet, but your bust brushes the front of his suit jacket. The heat of him is close, his face just inches from your own. You truly think you could get lost in the depths of his dark brown eyes, even deeper and darker than the tea your mother makes in the winter months, yet twice as warm. 

“I’ll take that into consideration.” 

Though you hadn’t thought about it before, the longer you remain in Jungwon’s company the more you grow to like him. He’s sweet to you, kind and speaks with a gentle tongue. While others might find his lilting foreign accent distracting or uncouth, you don’t. It’s sort of handsome to you and when you’re done dancing, you spend the rest of the party in his presence. No one else approaches the two of you, after Jungwon’s abrupt and firm rebuke of the first suitor’s interruption, your hand wrapped around his bicep. You find his attention sort of all consuming, in the best way, the adoration in his eyes and the soft way in which he regards you. It’s enough that you sometimes find yourself hiding behind your fan to keep your composure. To say you’re taken with him would be an understatement for certain, assuring him on his parting that you want to see him at the next event you both will be attending. 

“I look forward to it,” he tells you, taking your hand in his. He bends at the waist, bringing your hand to his lips to gently kiss the back of it. Oh how you wish you weren’t wearing gloves, the mere thought of the soft touch of his lips to the back of your hand is enough to leave your heart racing. 

Others, however, don’t feel the same. 

“Do you think this is a joke? This isn’t just your life we’re talking about here!” Your mother explodes as you’re being fitted for a new gown. The poor seamstress that’s fitting your skirts around your waist is being forced to bear witness to the verbal lashing you’re receiving from your mother. You’re quite used to it though, keeping your composure as she speaks. “Do you have any idea what kind of scar you would put on your father’s name if you were to entertain such a man? I won’t have it!” 

“You don’t even know him,” you say, voice measured. 

“I don’t have to! You’ll not be wasting your time with some low life trader’s son!” She insists. 

“He’s a doctor,” you inform her, turning your head to look at her. She scoffs, arms crossed over her chest. “He’s gone to school and everything. Has his own practice. He’s a good man, with a good standing. Just because his father is a trader doesn’t mean he’s the same. He’s made something of himself!” 

“Made something!? He’s an Oriental, he’ll never make something of himself, Y/N, don’t be naive. He’s no more a doctor than that Chinese medical man who sells herbs on the street. You’re not to be mingling with the likes of him,” your mother warns you. “Do you have any idea the kinds of things people would say about you if you were to court him?” She asks, walking around to stand in front of you. You huff to yourself, not meeting her eye. “The kinds of things they would say about me, or your father, if you married someone like that?! I won’t have it. You have a reputation to uphold.” 

“You think he couldn’t carry father’s name?” You retort. 

“I’d hope the good Lord would strike me where I stand before I let something like that happen,” your mothers tells you. “Now you listen to me, you are not to be seen with him anymore. He is not going to court you and he is not going to attend you to any further events, do you understand?” You bring your gaze down to meet hers. “I don’t want you to even go near him. Don’t let him get any ideas. Do you understand me?” 

“Yes, ma’am,” you sigh. 

You knew this might happen. Your family has some very old fashioned ideas, your parents especially, and the idea that you might let someone like Jungwon attend to you, of course your mother couldn’t stand it. As stated, your reputation is everything to her, especially yours. She expects you to marry up, not down. Of course a simple man with a good job isn’t enough for her, he needs to be noble, of high class. Jungwon will never measure up to her. 

The next party you attend, you keep to yourself, eyes down, fan in front of your face. The heat is unbearable, so surely no one can blame you for the way you keep your fan close and up, keeping yourself covered. You don’t even dance, sitting away from the festivities, allowing the chatter of late season weddings, births and birthday parties wash over you. 

You glance up when a murmur runs through the crowd, an hour past the beginning of the party, just in time to see Jungwon enter the gardens. He’s dressed just as impeccably as before, though his suit is brown rather than grey. Still, you doubt he could ever look poorly, his handsomeness speaks for itself. You sigh to yourself, standing and walking away from the table. 

Perhaps it’s all a bit juvenile but the idea of being away from him is easier than trying to ignore him. After all, you can’t stop your feelings any more than you can stop your heart from beating. It’s all so sudden and yet, with one longing gaze, it’s all you can do to not ask Jungwon to ask for your hand right then and there. He’s a gentleman so he won’t, he’ll do whatever it takes, even if it means flowers and dancing and courting and admiration from afar until it’s socially acceptable to ask you to marry him. But you wish he wouldn’t, you wish he would just cut the chase. 

You’ve never cared for men who waste time. 

Hedge gardens are all a bit trite to you, but they’re fine places to think. Especially since no one will come looking for you, you can even go alone. So you do, finding yourself wandering through the thick maze of tall hedges, bright green and reaching above you, almost like trees. You fan yourself, glancing up at the unbearable sun, hoping for the day the air becomes crisp with the autumn wind and you can wrap yourself in shawls instead of sweating under your many skirts. You wonder if there’s a place where it’s like autumn all the time, if you could hope to live someplace like that. Someplace away from this, all of this meaningless nonsense regarding class and reputation. 

“I thought I might find you here,” someone says and you turn, finding Jungwon walking up behind you. He’s still a few paces away, a respectful distance between the two of you, especially since you’re alone here. “When I saw you leave, I worried I’d done something. But we’ve not even spoken since our last outing.” He stops a few feet from you and you lower your fan with a sigh. “Maybe that’s the problem. Should I have chased after you, sending you love letters and words of admiration so that you might miss me more?” He’s teasing you, you know it, but it makes you frown anyway. “What have I done?” He asks, moving to close the distance. 

When he steps forward, you step back, causing him to stop in his tracks. 

“I’m sure I don’t need to tell you,” you say and his expression drops into one of confusion and worry. “I think it would be best if you attended to someone else this summer.” 

“I don’t want to attend to anyone else this summer,” Jungwon informs you. “I thought you wouldn’t want me to,” he adds, walking towards you again. You stumble backwards, only to bump directly into a hedge, causing you to stop. You glance at it, betrayed by your own clumsiness, and then look back at him. He closes the distance until he’s only a foot or so in front of you. “Have you changed your mind?” 

“I…” He tilts his head at you, “have. Yes.” 

“I see,” he sighs. “Well, I apologize for wasting your time.” Your frown at him, hurt. “I hope you find whatever it is you’re looking for.” He takes your hand gently in his, bending at the waist and kissing the back of your hand again. Your heart flutters like it did before, Jungwon lifting his gaze to look at you from under his lashes. “Have a lovely summer, Lady Y/L/N.” 

You sigh softly as he lets go of your hand. He leaves you, walking back out of the hedge maze and, presumably, back to the party. You huff to yourself, turning your fan over between your hands, despondent. 

Your mother, as expected, is nothing less than thrilled when you tell her about the exchange. 

“Well, I should hope so,” she says, enjoying her tea in the garden, fanning herself. “That young man is finally learning his place.” 

“I suppose he is,” you mutter to yourself, staring down at your hands. 

That evening the night falls, dark but illuminated by a silver, full moon. You dress down into your nightgown, the late summer turning into autumn as soon as the sun goes down. You find yourself wrapped in a long housecoat, shuffling to the window in your slippers. You open the window, leaning out to let the crisp night air caress your skin. Though the courting season might be ending, perhaps you will finally find solace once more in the quiet days and cold nights. It’s the least you can hope for. 

You’re startled by the sound of rustling. You look out towards your garden wall, nervous of what might be happening. The leaves on the ivy that drapes down the sides of the wall shiver and rustle in the night air but it sounds heavier and heavier the longer it goes on. You lean out over your window sill, watching out for what might be causing such a ruckus at such a late hour. 

He appears over the top of the garden wall, heaving himself up and over the top. Your mouth drops open with a gasp when the moonlight illuminates his features, making his wide eyes seem even darker, his smirk coming into focus. Jungwon sits on the edge of the garden wall, suit jacket and waistcoat gone, tie missing and first few buttons undone like some kind of rascal from your romance novels. He looks up at you, hands on the top of the wall. 

“Rapunzel, Rapunzel,” he calls out, making you laugh and shake your head at him. 

“You shouldn’t be here!” You insist, trying to keep your voice down but still trying to make sure he can hear you. 

“I shan’t go until you speak with me. A young man’s heart is nothing to toy with, princess,” Jungwon tells you. You lean against the window frame, smiling sadly. “Come to my side, tell me your woes. I’ll do whatever I can to ease them.” 

“I assure you, you cannot,” you sigh. His expression softens as he looks up at you. “It is not your heart that is being toyed with, prince charming. I assure you.” 

“A princess’ heart is not one for games, of this I’m sure,” he replies. “Come down from your ivory tower so that I may offer you solace.” 

It’s a tempting offer. You glance back at your bedroom door, knowing well your parents must be asleep by now. Only your bedside lamp burns in the entire house. You turn back to him, Jungwon looking up at you with hopeful eyes. After this afternoon, his bright eyes make you ache for his side once more. You can’t help but notice he’s without his gloves, dressed down in what is surely an unseemly way, you are as well. Yet you long for the touch of his bare skin against yours, even if it’s just his palm clasped in your hand. 

“Will it be in your arms?” You ask.

“I desire nothing less,” Jungwon says, voice aching with conviction. You smile, reaching out to close your window. 

You snuff out your lamp as quickly as you can, then gently open your bedroom door. You must creep, as silently as you can, from your bedroom to the first floor, then make your way through the estate to the doors to the back garden. When you get there, you carefully ease that door open as well, closing it with a soft hand. You rush out into the middle of the garden, still dressed only in your housecoat and nightgown, looking for him.

“Was it my arms you wish to find solace in?” A voice speaks from the darkness and you turn towards it. Jungwon walks towards you, hands in his pockets. You rush towards him, his hands leaving his pockets so he can catch you when you run into his chest, your arms wrapping around his neck. Jungwon bundles you into his arms, holding you against him.

It’s the first time he’s ever held you, but you sink into the feeling of his strong arms wrapped around your body, the weight of him against you, the warmth of him seeping into you. You rest your cheek against his shoulder, hugging him to you. If this is the only time you’ll be able to do this, you’ll not forget it for the rest of your life. 

“So you haven’t changed your mind,” he whispers into your hair. You pull back to meet his gaze. “You never did. Did you?” 

“No,” you whisper. “My mother⁠—” 

“She doesn’t approve,” Jungwon says. You nod slowly. “Well, I can’t say I’m surprised. A woman such as yourself isn’t meant to marry beneath her, after all.” You frown at him. “I’m not worth much to them. I’m just a trader’s son⁠—” 

“Your status doesn’t mean anything to me. Marrying someone for status is useless. What about love?” You reply and his expression turns soft. “What about marrying someone because you love them? Because they make you feel happy and full and good in their presence? What about that?”

“Women like you aren’t supposed to yearn for love,” Jungwon says, lifting a hand to your cheek. “Love won’t bring you things you most desire.” 

“If love is not what I most desire when you do not understand what that word means,” you reply. He smiles at you, stroking his thumb over your cheek. 

“Run away with me?” He asks. 

“So suddenly?” You reply, staring up at him. “What if you grow bored of me?” 

“Do you think I’m the type to grow bored of people easily?” Jungwon asks. “I assure you I’m not.” 

“Of people? No. Of lovers? Perhaps,” you reply. His eyes widen, a smirk making its way across his lips. “You don’t see me as a temporary lover, do you?” 

His lips press to yours suddenly. It’s like he’s taken the breath from your lungs, your body paralyzed in his hold. His fingers hold you gently in place with a tenderness you’ve never experienced, your arms wrapping around his neck tighter once more. Jungwon’s hand guides you to tilt your head, his opposite arm wrapping tightly around your waist. 

You’re not courting, he’s not even attended you more than once, but you grip at his shirt, holding him tightly against your body, chasing the feeling of his mouth against yours. It’s an earth shattering kiss, one that makes it feel as though the entire world has melted away underneath your feet. Your knees are weak but he holds you up, keeping your body pressed against his own. He kisses you with a recklessness you have never known, a passion that makes you feel dizzy and lightheaded when he pulls away from you. 

“I’ve never had a lover before you,” he confesses, “and I don’t plan on ever having another after you.”

a/n: sometimes, it's about the ✨ romance ✨ it's about the longing, the yearning. that's what it's all about this time, baby. hope you enjoyed 💕

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