Jay X Reader - Tumblr Posts

FRIENDZONED

**shit, i liked the wrong person

a/n: hey y’all.. i’m not dead :/

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summary! - nishimura yn has been pining for her best friend jay park since 7th grade, but she’s well aware that jay will continue to be oblivious and had accepted that she’s stuck in the friendzone, that is until she befriends a foreign exchange student from australia and jay can’t help but feel jealous over how quick yn and her new friend are bonding

taglist! (join here) ~ @beans-and-jeanes @ckline35 @chaeryeongsredhair @pluviophilefangirl @ratking101 @uhsakusa @i4choerry @lov3niki @yourlocalhotgf @woosunnie @redleatherwallet @iloveoceaneyes @randomness7198 @wonieleles @cursedcursives @clar-iii @1lovestrawberrymilk @en-jongseong @blxckcatner0 @wonhrs @sunshine-skz @lhsng @belle643 @softforqiankun @n-eetune @sbnchaos @bennettsprmcy @chanelcafe @jjunbugg @raimbows4u @flwrsforriki @byeolwonnie @hebii666 @papiibuprofen @luv4vernon @hotboyyeonjun @zenithearth @viagumi @revemixer @artstaeh @yagetintoit @lokideadontheinside @jaxavance @serenity-sof @notdrunkbutdazed @crazywittysassy

~unable to tag crossed out users

FRIENDZONED

**plans to win her back

a/n ~ my motivation is slowly coming around :P

next | previous | masterlist

summary! - nishimura yn has been pining for her best friend jay park since 7th grade, but she’s well aware that jay will continue to be oblivious and had accepted that she’s stuck in the friendzone, that is until she befriends a foreign exchange student from australia and jay can’t help but feel jealous over how quick yn and her new friend are bonding

taglist! (join here) ~ @beans-and-jeanes @ckline35 @chaeryeongsredhair @pluviophilefangirl @ratking101 @uhsakusa @i4cho @lov3niki @yourlocalhotgf @woosunnie @redleatherwallet @iloveoceaneyes @randomness7198 @wonieleles @cursedcursives @clar-iii @1lovestrawberrymilk @en-jongseong @blxckcatner0 @wonhrs @sunshine-skz @lhsng @belle643 @seungkwan-s @n-eetune @sbnchaos @bennettsprmcy @chanelcafe @jjunbugg @raimbows4u @flwrsforriki @byeolwonnie @hebii666 @papiibuprofen @luv4vernon @hotboyyeonjun @zenithea @viagumi @revemixer @artstaeh @yagetintoit @lokideadontheinside @jaxavance @serenity-sof @notdrunkbutdazed @crazywittysassy @jeongintwt

FRIENDZONED

**holy shit she spoke to me??

next | previous | masterlist

summary! - nishimura yn has been pining for her best friend jay park since 7th grade, but she’s well aware that jay will continue to be oblivious and had accepted that she’s stuck in the friendzone, that is until she befriends a foreign exchange student from australia and jay can’t help but feel jealous over how quick yn and her new friend are bonding

taglist! (join here) ~ @beans-and-jeanes @ckline35 @chaeryeongsredhair @pluviophilefangirl @ratking101 @uhsakusa @i4cho @lov3niki @yourlocalhotgf @woosunnie @redleatherwallet @iloveoceaneyes @randomness7198 @wonieleles @cursedcursives @clar-iii @1lovestrawberrymilk @en-jongseong @blxckcatner0 @wonhrs @sunshine-skz @lhsng @belle643 @seungkwan-s @n-eetune @sbnchaos @bennettsprmcy @chanelcafe @jjunbugg @raimbows4u @flwrsforriki @byeolwonnie @hebii666 @papiibuprofen @luv4vernon @hotboyyeonjun @zenithea @viagumi @revemixer @artstaeh @yagetintoit @lokideadontheinside @jaxavance @serenity-sof @notdrunkbutdazed @crazywittysassy @jeongintwt

FRIENDZONED

**willing to progress

next | previous | masterlist

summary! - nishimura yn has been pining for her best friend jay park since 7th grade, but she’s well aware that jay will continue to be oblivious and had accepted that she’s stuck in the friendzone, that is until she befriends a foreign exchange student from australia and jay can’t help but feel jealous over how quick yn and her new friend are bonding

taglist! (join here) ~ @beans-and-jeanes @ckline35 @chaeryeongsredhair @pluviophilefangirl @ratking101 @uhsakusa @i4cho @lov3niki @yourlocalhotgf @woosunnie @redleatherwallet @iloveoceaneyes @randomness7198 @wonieleles @cursedcursives @clar-iii @1lovestrawberrymilk @en-jongseong @blxckcatner0 @wonhrs @sunshine-skz @lhsngl @belle643 @seungkwan-s @n-eetune @sbnchaos @bennettsprmcy @chanelcafe @jjunbugg @raimbows4u @flwrsforriki @byeolwonnie @hebii666 @papiibuprofen @luv4vernon @hotboyyeonjun @zenithea @viagumi @revemixer @artstaeh @yagetintoit @lokideadontheinside @jaxavance @serenity-sof @notdrunkbutdazed @crazywittysassy @jeongintwt @luvdokja @loves0ft

Gawd damn-

i want him so bad it’s not healthy anymore

likeeeee thats my man🫦

GYAATT (sorry 😭)

daddy’s home home for meeeee

Ffs 😭😭😭

fuck…. i need to ride him

Ways they communicate the words, ‘I Love You’ without really saying it. (1.3k) ↓

P. ot7!enhypen x gn!reader┊G. fluff┊CW. not pr!

LEE HEESEUNG - ꒰이희승꒱

• Heeseung always takes care of you when you’re ill. Always checking up on you every twenty-five minutes. Bringing you warm soup and small snacks, glasses of water or tea, and even heading out to the store for your needs. But he does need a small reward, right? A few kisses won’t hurt! If he gets sick, you’ll always be there. • Man is always going on some type of side quests for you. But hey, he’s gotta make sure you’re healthy!

• He’s the oldest of the group, he knows what he’s doing. (If you’re lucky)

• Probably cuddles with you until you break away from him, complaining that you’re getting too warm. He doesn’t let go.

• Yes, he does run you bubble baths. No one can change my mind.

• Will fight you if you refuse the bubble bath.

“You okay, sweetheart? Got you some snacks.” “Don’t worry, I don’t get sick easily.. But if i do, you’re in charge. Not me”

PARK JONGSEONG - ꒰박종성꒱

• Jay would always cook you a meal when he was free. He knew your favorites and when you were in the mood for them. After practice(s), if he wasn’t tired, he would always prepare a meal for you. Soup, meats, or even something simple like chicken nuggets and smiley fries. He just loved showing his love for you with cooking, and maybe one day he’ll show you how he makes these delicious meals.

• As soon as you closed the front door shut, you got a huge hit in the face with the smells of different seasonings and dishes. You could hear Jay’s faint humming to the music. • You come home basically every night, knowing you’ll have the best meal ever.

• Just flexing to the members and your friends that you have a personal chef at home! Pretty normal.

• If you come home while Jay’s cooking, he definitely calls you over and feeds you. Just making sure you enjoy every single ingredient he adds to the mixture.

• He really loves when you hug him from the behind while he’s cooking. Do it more.

“Hey, come and try this real quick. It’s for tonight.” “It’s almost done, stop sneaking little bites. I can see you. Stop acting like I can’t, hun.”

SIM JAEYUN - ꒰심재윤꒱

• Jake tends to always cling onto you. But not in a bad way, more like he’s more touchy than normal. Whenever he sees you sitting anywhere, he would sit by you, and throw his arm around you. Either he’s rambling about a disagreement he had with Ni-Ki or theres no words exchanged. Just a comfortable silence.

• Follows you around like a lost puppy. Would basically chase you down if he had to.

• Hugs you from behind when your doing any simple task. Brushing your teeth? Well expect a hug and some kisses on your shoulder. You aren’t safe from Jake! 🥰

• Makes you late for work with his ‘Just five more minutes.’

• He loves shoulder kisses, and sniffing your hair.. if that’s not weird.

“Wait, five more minutes. Please?” “Jake this is the third time you’ve said that.” “Ten more minutes?”

PARK SUNGHOON - ꒰박성훈꒱

• Sunghoon always sends a goodnight message and goodmorning message. Even after a tiring day at the studio, he’ll still send a small paragraph. And every other day he will send a voice message. • If you two have different time zones, he’ll still keep track of what time it is where you are currently located. Just making sure he won’t wake you up with a message at three in the morning.

• One time he sent you a 3 paragraph essay about how much he loved you. :(

• Please read the messages and listen to the recordings, he really takes his time and puts love into it. • Also sends you photos to keep you updated on what Sunghoon and the members are doing.

• Sends you poems about love. GOODNIGHT WHAT.

“Hey sweetheart, I miss you. Please sleep well, make sure you get a good amount of rest. I’ll keep updating you on everything. I love you.”

KIM SUNWOO - ꒰김선우꒱

• Sunoo tends to remind you about taking off your makeup off before bed. You know how he’s about his skincare products. He will even drag you out of bed if he needs to.

• Every Friday night you two have a little self care night. Giving eachother massages, gossiping, and doing skincare. Even having a drama playing in the background.

• If Sunoo can’t drag you out of bed, he’ll just start taking your makeup off in bed. Yes, he’s that determined. He gives you the biggest side eye if you complain.

• Recommends you his favorite products, and even shares!

• Gives you a kiss if you remember to take your makeup off. :(

• You two DEFINITELY do face masks together while cuddling. <33

“Come on, you need to take it off. We don’t need you breaking out, right?” “I found this new toner, it’s really good.. You should maybe like try it. Only if you want to though..”

YANG JUNGWON - ꒰양정원꒱

• Jungwon will do any task you ask him. Basically the definition of act of service for you. You want him to peel an orange for you? Well, he already started. You want him to dry your hair? He’s already grabbing the hair dryer.

• Yes he did pass the orange peeling trend. He grabbed your orange in a heartbeat. Seriously.

• Will kneel down anywhere to tie your shoe. Middle of the street? Yup. During a conversation with some of your friends? Well expect seeing him on the ground.

• Will go out to the store in the rain for you. • Wait you said you needed crackers but a hurricane is basically happening? He going out with an umbrella, ready to go. And no, he does not come back with his umbrella. But he does come back soaked, and with your crackers!

“Jungwon, I’m really craving some crackers..” “Don’t we already have some? Well whatever, I’ll go get you some anyway.” “Wonnie.. theres a literal hurricane happening..” “Some wind and water will NOT stop me treating my girl.”

NISHIMURA RIKI - ꒰니시무라 리키꒱

• Ni-Ki definitely sends you hundreds of videos, and he makes playlists of you. Please expect about 30 videos per hour, from TikTok and Instagram. And yes, you will have to watch all of them. Ni-Ki also makes you playlists with songs that remind him of you. For example; love. by Wave To Earth.

• He will hunt you down if you don’t watch the sent TikToks.

• Sends you videos that remind you of him.

• Ni-Ki sends the videos that say, ‘Send these to the shortest person you know!!🤓’ You don’t think you can even count how many of those have been sent to you.

• Definitely sends a video of a kitten doing something stupid, and he will obviously have to send the message, ‘you definitely’

• You get the most brainrotted videos sent to you. And yes, he will also send you those AP brainrot quizzes, asking you what your score was. • Sends you those videos that are like, “your first @ needs to get you ____ right now!”

• Has probably fell for some scam on Tiktok, and then complained about it to you for hours 😭

• Finds songs and sends them to you.

• Has a hangout/late night drive playlist with your genre of music and his genre of music.

• Also makes like 400 playlists about you and sends them to you daily. It’s just so cute.

• ABSOLUTELY ADORES when he sees you listening to the recommended song(s) or the playlist(s) he made for you.

“Did you see that video I sent you?” “Bubs, did you like that song? It reminded me of you.” “No, I will not be doing that Dress To Impress duo with you”

JUNO’s author note: wait why do i hate this. Anyways guys ignore how I got slightly carried away with rikis. 🥰

©hooniesluvr 2023-2024

ENHYPEN WITH A S/O WHO BAKES !

L.HEESUNG

STOP HE'S SO CUTE

he makes sure the dorm has whatever u need to bake so u can do it there

has whole playlists that are made specifically for you stress baking, holiday baking, sad baking, happy baking, or just baking

back hugs you the whole time

mumbles sweet things in ur ear OR SINGS

prob tried to help you but ended up spilling 3 different ingredients in a span of 4 minutes so he yelled, causing you to spill a little too, he then proceeded to fuss over you cause some flour or smth got on ur clothes

does all the dishes <3 <3 <3 while complaining LMAOOO

he demands kisses as payment

def takes a bunch of pictures of you baking

proudly shows off ur baked goods

once they come out of the oven he immediately eats it with no hesitation

and u have to watch him go " ha WUT HA Wt"

P.JONGSEONG

he would start cooking dinner or lunch while you bake

he would start rambling abt whatever and u would talk abt ur day

it's honestly one of his favorite things to do with u cause its so domestic

he would find things at the grocery store in the baking section and buy them

definitely would show u recipes that he thinks u would like

u two clean together and switch off roles

share the food with the rest of enha

ITD BE SO CUTE

u all eat the food together and it's vv wholesome

GIVES U THE BIGGEST PORTION OF FOOD

AND U GIVE HIM THE BEST PART OF WHATEVER U MADE

my man is LOVESICK (0x1=lovesong)

S.JAKE

THIS MAN

head in hands he makes a pillow fort and sets up a movie while u bake so u can eat it in there

ITS SO HOME-Y homey? home like?

creates a whole ambiance

sits in the corner and listens to u talk abt ur day

if u ran out of something u need he is out the door and buying it

prob takes the bowls and utensils once ur done using them and washes them

IM SORRY THIS IS SO SHORT

P.SUNGHOON

HE BOTHERS U SM

puts flour on u

screams when u put some on him

u two always have a flour fight

Once u threw some in his face he stood there frozen for a minute and wordlessly wiped his face

then moved towards u til ur back hits the counter and puts his hands on the counter on either side of u and is like

"don't do that, it's mean " in a deep voice

and ur blushing cause whAT

then he does his cute little smile and throws flour in ur face

ends up running away giggling

wipes ur face when u two are done throwing flour at each other

as u keep baking he cleans up the giant mess u two he made

if ur counting out loud how much u put in he'd start saying random numbers

you: 1...2....3

sunghoon at the same time: 48..29..30

actually keeps count tho cause he'd feel bad if he messed u up

eats the baked goods and exaggerates his reaction to the food to make u laugh

he wants to mix the batter so he can show off his muscles

K. SEONWOO

he puts on a kdrama in the background

got u two matching aprons

eats the batter

sunoo: *eyeing the batter*

you: don't even

sunoo: don't even what? I don't even know what ur talking abt

*silence*

sunoo, at the speed of light: dips his finger in and puts it in his mouth

you: sunOO NO

sits next to the oven waiting for it to be ready

u two do rock paper scissors on who is cleaning what

pretends he's gonna have the first bite then gives it to u

Y. JUNGWON

he's so *sobs*

if u stress bake when it's exam season he makes sure to take some butter out every weekend so it can become room temp just in case

constantly looking over ur shoulder to see what ure doing

u don't even see the mess u makes because jungwon got it

u spilled? it's already wiped

u just used that bowl? already washing it

PREHEATS THE OVEN CAUSE HE KNOWS U WILL FORGET

pls jungwon would sometimes purposely wipe flour or smth on u so he can wipe it for u

he just wants to be close to u leave him alone

makes sure no one bothers u while ur in the zone

finds recipes and shares it with u

eats whatever u make no questions asked

one time u gave him something Niki made and he slowly nodded and made a face of pure disgust

jungwon: ....you made this...?

you: yes, do u like it?

jungwon: ummmmmmmmmmmmmm

you: I spent hours making it just for you!

jungwon: that's so interesting ahhahhhahhahha

jungwon looked so disturbed HELP HE DIDNT WANA HURT UR FEELINGS BUT HE ALSO WANTED TO BE HONEST

jungwon: you know I love you, so sos oso sso much, right?

you: I love you too wonnie

jungwon: so don't take this the wrong way but this tastes like I ate expired cheese

you: ....

jungwon: IM SORRY ILL EAT ALL OF IT IM SORRY

you: haAHAHHAHHAHHAH

jungwon: ?

you: Niki made it

jungwon: oh.. I knew that

when u gave him what you actually made his face lit up

he had the biggest smile HES SO CUTE PLS

N. RIKI

bothers u the whole time pt. 2

constantly asking if ur done yet

dances while u bake and tries to get u to dance too

don't even think abt sharing what u made with everyone else cause Niki would eat it all

another one who would eat the batter

would also put the batter on u

and u would put some on him

and he would start talking abt how ur trying to ruin his career

Niki: I cant believe u would do this... you RUINED me.... MY GORGEOUS SKIN YOU-YOu RUINED IT!

you thought he was reenacting a drama LMAOOO

u just stood there waiting til he was finished

BUT HE KEPT GOING

so u cut him off saying

you: lets break up

Niki: what

and u just kiss him and keep baking

Niki gets so confused

he's all like I'm not complaining but WHAT WAS THAT

he gets over it

Niki's the type to make random tiktoks while u bake LMAOOO

ur mixing the batter and all of a sudden Niki is next to u and doing the anti fragile dance

u do a staring contest to see who does the dishes and who cleans the counter

he always ends up laughing so u get to choose what u clean

A/N!

First fic done B) hope u liked it !

♡. THINGS THEY DO MAKE YOU FLUSTER

𝐅𝐓. OT7 … 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 : none , not proof read , rest undercut

𝐖𝐂. 0.6k … 𝐆. FLUFF

𝐀𝐍. school has rlly taken me for granted, also to ppl who understand arabic I hope you see the lil arabic i used 😔( not me being excited over my broken arabic🧍🏻‍♂️), anyways enjoy. would be rlly appreciated if you can reblog with some feedback and like

i…𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆 : brushes your stray hair behind your ears while you talk to him, hee is a gentleman but don’t let that confuse you, he would do anything to see you all red, a sense of pride? yes most certainly. he noticed that doing so just leaves starstruck and in awe so he does that, honestly to you he seems like a prince doing that even though his motives are not necessarily princely “you look beautiful” also throws his signature smile for extra effect. 

ii…𝐉𝐀𝐘 : wears your initial around his neck so whenever it flashes it leaves you giddy, I mean who wouldn’t be giddy when you have THE jay park wearing your initial and calling himself as your property, he knows what effect it has on you he purposely plays with it when he is around you “how is it?” “it’s pretty jay” makes you compliment the necklace at least 100 times a day.

iii…𝐉𝐀𝐊𝐄 : cooks. that’s it, a man who can cook for you is the biggest green flag, husband him up in a heartbeat, his main agenda is cooking for you but also learns cooking so he can impress your family aka getting easy access as son in law “you know you should hurry up and propose to me” he said while serving you his ‘special meal’ he cooked for you “I plan on wifing you up real soon don’t worry” he is shocked but you don’t if its from proposing him real soon or calling him your wife lol.

iv…𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐍 : stretches in front of you, makes sure he flexes his biceps, his abs, and then winks at you thinking himself as irresistible, he is but you mostly give him a deadpan look even though you feel you heart beating 120km/h but you try not to inflate his already inflated ego “like what you see” “not really” looks at you in disbelief “yeah keep lying but you can’t deny my handsomeness” “yeah that I can’t” you said because it looked like he would cry any moment 

Keep reading

Give us some Jay audio please omggggg

Jay x male reader

Smut audio and as always wear headphones

As a hybe trainee you work hard and try your best to debut even pay the fee for all the services they give u and today it was raining cats and dogs outside and u forgot ur wallet home but ur dance instructor jay, told you there's another way to pay;by giving him a blowjob

Since then u never had to pay for anything

Have y'all seen this

Whoever is making these 💀 must use some kind of witchcraft

Oh my goodness…. This was, no IS such a good jay fic! I literally felt every emotion while reading this (in a good way lol). No words can describe how beautifully written this fic was! Please give this fic a read!!!

Novocaine

pairing: guitar rocker!jay x bartender fem!reader

synopsis: Your job requires you to deal with all types of people, but you didn’t mind since at the end of the day you were getting paid– paid good. However, when a band comes for a permanent gig you’re faced with a dilemma that all hot rocker cliches were true, unfortunately. The last thing you wanted to do was give him the time and day to come in and shuffle your life into a mess, right?

Warnings: mature concepts (minor friendly!) , drinking, smoking (W33D HA), Y/N lowkey going through it, suggestive content (kissing) and indication of drug usage (non-mcs!) not proof read!

🗒AN: FINALLY A BAND AU, everyone will make a band AU one day but in celebration of Jay coming back home we have guitarist Jay! Honestly while writing this I didn’t expect it to turn the way it did (I was going for full-on band AU but I can’t resist when I start writing 💔). Thank you to my bff bb @enaus for helping me in the process ilysm. Honestly rereading I’ve mentioned how this is just my badboy! Jay from my trope series in another universe LOL but please enjoy!!

Reblogs and feedback are always welcomed so make sure to like and reblog! See you at the next one <3

happy readings! ଘ(੭˃ᴗ˂)੭

©2023 , dazed-hee . please do not repost , plagiarize or translate anywhere this is my only blog thank you!

“Yo Sinners! What happens in Sin City stays in Sin City so let loose and have some fucking fun!” 

Ah— escaping responsibilities, consequences, and past indiscretions were all things welcomed in Sin City. A chance to live without thought and judgment surrounded by others who craved for the same fall of grace, but if it meant you’d spend a couple of bands on drinks and VIP lounges— then you were always welcomed here. While others came to escape their mundane lives you came to Sin City to escape your dreadful one. You weren’t sure what aspect you were running from, lack of knowing the next time you were penniless or the redundant meetings with your advisor about what you were going to do after graduation if you ever make it that far.

Keep reading

Oh gosh im lovin this series 😭 its soo good!

SOMEBODY TO YOU ⋆ park jongseong

pairing : basketballer! jay x fem! reader

genre : strangers to lovers, romance, comedy, mutual pining, a little jayke bromance🤷‍♂️, bickering ( this is true romance )

synopsis : when you receive the weirdest request ever in your history of being cupid, you find yourself at the basketball court, face to face with devilish vice captain park jongseong. he’s infuriating but you can’t stop thinking about him. maybe cupid isn’t that powerful after all, maybe it’s cupid’s arrow instead.

warnings : cursing, kissing, l*ve, alcohol consumption ( uhmmm i’ve never drunk alcohol before or been to a party so idk if it’s realistic sorry😔 ), you act insane for a short moment, pregnancy ( but it’s fake )

word count : 8.7k

nella’s notes : for those who follow my hylfab universe — this fic takes place before Heeseung’s : the cupid in off my face is no other than reader in this fic 😈 thank you so much rim @luvistqrzzz for beta reading again 🔥🔥🔥 i feel like a lot more can be improved so please give me feedback ( through rbs or inbox ! ) 🪱🪱🪱 i wrote this listening to OX1 = LOVESONG 🗣️🅱️ so i hope you get the vibes😟 ALSO OMG IM THINKING OF A COMBINED EPILOGUE IN THE FAR FUTURE ! ok i will not elaborate because this is long so I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE FIC ( give me feedback 🤬🤬 )

part two of hylfab series :: series masterlist

BEING cupid isn’t easy, and it’s definitely not a task for the weak. Carrying around a heavy basket of heart shaped tipped arrows and a bow slung behind you as you matchmake, aim, and shoot, injecting pink that knits into a person’s bones.

Many people applaud you — for so intelligently pairing up matches together. But what they don’t realise is the immense effort it takes. Cupid may be an icon of love, but you barely have a love life of your own. And you wish, that there is another cupid out there aiming their love tipped arrow at you.

i. he’s all dick and no balls !

The piece of paper in your hands rubs against your palms as you take yet another glance at the capitalised name written in neon pink before looking back up at the blond hair boy in front of you.

“Jay? I mean- not discriminating or anything but you want me to link you up with Park Jongseong?” You furrow your brows, looking at Jake with pure curiosity.

His eyes widen as he realises what this might have seemed like. “No, no,” he furiously shakes his head, “he’s my bro, what are you even talking about.”

You tilt your head as you scan the nervous footballer who’s too busy fidgeting in his seat to realise, and you think it’s the first time you’ve ever seen him so nervous — even more than before a crucial game, and you wonder what’s come over him.

“Jake, the neon pink sparkly pen? If you’re not in love with your best friend, what puts you in such a lovesick mood?” You ask, flapping the crumpled piece of paper at him as he sighs.

“Firstly, it’s a smiggle pink scented pen, get it right. And secondly, it’s not really about matchmaking, I just need your help with something.” He groans at the accusations you’ve pasted on him.

You purse your lips, “Jake, you know I don’t do anything other than matchmaking. I would really like to help, but I’ve been a little tight on time recently.”

Before you can grab your bag from the small round coffee table, he swiftly brings his hands up, stopping you from leaving. His eyes held such desperation that your body seemed to move back down by itself.

“Look, this is kind of like matchmaking, think of it as helping a blossoming couple out. Please.” His plea of desperation squeezing your heart ever so slightly.

“Has this blossoming couple got something to do with you and that pretty best friend of yours?” You raise your eyebrows, as you shoot a knowing look at him. It wasn’t rocket science, and it didn’t take a genius to know that Jake was deeply in love, fully head over heels entranced with his best friend. And as Cupid, no doubt you had such information at the back of your hand.

Jake holds back a smile by biting his lips, eyes darting away in fear of professing his love, “look, Jay’s just been such a cockblock recently, they’ve been friends for a while but nowadays they’ve been hanging out together a lot more. Alone. Do you understand how big of a crisis this is? All I need you to do is watch him, maybe use those matchmaking skills of yours to match him up with someone?”

You look at the pitiful state of the boy in front of you, with his hands constantly moving to brush his hair back in his withered stressful state. And you can’t help it — as someone who’s all about love, you find yourself agreeing to help him, even if you were already swarmed with four other couples to matchmake.

You find the list in your head getting longer as you ask Jake about Jay, the tiny book in your head that’s filled with possible matches seeming a little empty at Jake’s description of Jay’s ideal type, likes, and dislikes.

It wasn’t the first time you’ve heard about Jay, in fact it was probably about the nth time with the amount of girls who come swarming to you with bleak hope that you’d be able to matchmake them with him. And of course, you couldn’t deny the fact that he was attractive — with his coveted status as vice captain of the basketball team, and not to forget his matte black Porsche he drives to school everyday, it would be weird if he wasn’t popular.

But what’s all that when Park Jay had a dick for a personality. Well, at least that’s what the rumours say.

And you’re about to confirm it right here right now as you stand outside the sports hall, the squeaking of court shoes piercing through your ears as you stall by rechecking Jake’s text.

Jay’s at basketball practice till nine, maybe you can catch him there.

The time on your phone blares a bright ‘21:25’, and you curse yourself for not having the guts to say no to Jake — because as much as you are Cupid, you’re also weak hearted, and you don’t know how to handle a devilishly handsome boy who’s said to have a bad attitude.

You let out the breath you’ve been holding, getting ready to push the door until it swings open from the other side and the vision in front of you turns from the freshly painted navy blue doors to a tall, lean boy with a number 99 plastered on the front of his jersey.

Holy shit, you think, and you wish you could duck around quickly and scurry away, yet your feet remain firmly planted to the ground as your eyes linger on the face in front of you.

“Something wrong, Cupid?”

You open your mouth only to close it yet again. Because despite the harsh tone or recognition his voice held, you were mesmerised. You’ve only ever seen Jay from afar and now up close, he looks like a collection of violet-tinted heartbreak and soft silver snow — as the ferocious intensity he emits settles itself in the sharp dip of his cupid’s bow. His beauty is devastating, and your task is forgotten for a moment as you take in his black hair damp with sweat and the slender set of collarbones revealed by his jersey.

The boy looks like an angel and siren all at once, and fuck it if he isn’t the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen. Even prettier than Lee Heeseung, the attractive basketballer you’ve known since middle school ( who you maybe had a tiny crush on back then. )

It takes you forty two seconds and Jay bending down to snap you out of your gaze. And you find yourself not being able to do anything but shift back as the boy smoothly ties your shoelaces which you must have left undone in a rush to reach here on time.

“Thanks,” you say honestly, voice too breathy as your veins pump with embarrassment.

He smiles softly, “don’t mention it, wouldn’t want you to trip and fall, right?”

You pause, and you hate how awkward you are during unplanned encounters. “Right,” you say, stumbling over your own words, “I mean- uhm, yeah! Thanks, but- I could have tied them myself.”

Jay laughs, and it’s a little husky as you capture the sound. “Right. You’re cute when you ramble.”

Right now, you wished you possessed the charm you usually carried when talking to other targets — bold and feminine. But with a mere sentence, Jay had the ability to reduce you to a young girl talking to an infatuation for the first time. And you think the rumours are false, because the boy in front of you seemed nothing like the playboy you’ve heard about: barely seeming to have an ounce of smooth confidence in his bones.

“You’re here for me, aren’t you Cupid? Did someone want you to matchmake me with them? Or are you on some sort of mission?” His sudden change of tone throws you off, arrogance radiating off him as the look in his eyes change. Bolder, sharper.

You think that you’re an idiot, for falling for his innocent façade, for believing those rumours were fake. Because now Jay looks like he’s playing god, with a devil’s smirk etched onto his face.

“Does the name Jake Sim ring a bell?” It amazes you how blunt he sounds, mouth tense and one corner slightly tilted down. And it pisses you off, how handsome he still seemed.

“He’s the captain of the soccer team,” you try, avoiding the question all together, “who doesn’t know him.”

The boy in front of you seems unsatisfied, “not what I was asking and you know it,” he declines, a borderline genius glint in his eyes.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

He smirks, brushing his hair back, “you’re telling me that my best friend didn’t hand you a note with my name on it, asking you to keep an eye on me?”

Fuck. How does he know?

You send him a cool grin — and thank goodness your usual calm and composed exterior is back — as you slowly walk towards him, “I really don’t know what you’re talking about. Not everything in life is about you Jay, so get lost.” You pause. “Please.”

A part of his tenacity amazes you when he fails to keep his mouth shut, and you feel annoyed at his stubborn persistence. “Everyone knows your little love business, Y/n,” Jay elaborates, making you grit your teeth. His voice is like liquid mercury, toxic yet smooth. “There’s always talk about a new happy couple and a pretty pretty girl who set them up.”

And as if on instinct, your hands move up to twirl the ends of your hair, “what about it, Park?”

“You’re telling me that Jake Sim didn’t meet you today? Look me in the eyes and say it.”

You stare into the eyes of the boy who looks like he could be a model, heart betraying you as it escalates. “I didn’t meet Jake Sim at Starbucks today. Quit bothering me, alright?”

“I didn’t say it was Starbucks,” Jay states brazenly, his head tilting in princely arrogance as you watch a small smirk settle on the crook of his mouth. “I thought good girls like you never lie.”

“Fucking hell,” you breathe in sharply, “get lost.”

Jay tucks one hand into his pocket, tugging his lips into a small smile, “You go first, I’ll follow you.”

You cheeks heat a dark shade of red as you dread to have to tell Jake that Jay knew of your deal.

“Wait,” he says as you turn, gently grabbing your wrists. He might seem a bit rough on the outside, with arrogance lining his collarbones, but when he touches you, it’s surprisingly soft. “Don’t tell him I know. All I’ve been doing is giving her advice about approaching Jake and I don’t want to ruin any surprise she might have planned.”

You nod slowly, pieces coming together in your head. “So you want me to be your double agent?”

Jay smiles, and if you were honest, it might have been the most genuine you’ve seen him today. “Why not? Not like you’d take the chances of spoiling a couple’s confession. Live a little.”

You roll your eyes at his comment, “I live a lot, Park, maybe more than you’ve ever lived.” You pause, “and if you want me to, you should fix that attitude of yours. God knows how you bag girls acting like a dick.”

Jay presses his hands to his chest in mock pain. “Your words hurt, Cupid,” he pouts, eyes glistening, “so are you in?”

“Depends,” you admit, “maybe, if you take me on a ride in that cool car of yours.”

He thinks for a moment. “Fine.”

A smile blooms on your lips, and you’re too triumphant to notice the way Jay’s breath hitches as he takes a small step backwards, as if your aura was too potent, too powerful for him to breathe in.

“Deal.”

ii. a short guide on handling a crazy heart

The last place you’d ever think of telling your best friend, Yunjin, about your encounter with a certain vice captain was in the bathroom of a stranger’s house, with the latest hits blaring into your eardrums. “He’s got a dick for a personality,’ you scream over the music as she fixes her hair in the mirror, “he’s arrogant, infuriating, and he doesn’t know when to stop.”

“Sounds like someone I know,” she replies, giving you a knowing look through the mirror, and you roll your eyes at her comment. “So what exactly did Jay want you to do again?” Yunjin’s eyebrows raise as she asks her question for the fifth time this week, and you think if your friend wasn’t so pretty, you would have purposefully messed up her hair in annoyance.

You sigh, “he wants me to be a double agent of some sort, he doesn’t want to ruin his hard work of giving advice,” you admit, “I’m practically sandwiched between two best friends.”

“Aw, you guys are like a pair of cupids,” Yunjin says thoughtfully, “you and Jay. And I guess it brings no harm. Though you might be pissed with his personality, someone has to get under that thick skin of yours. He might just be the one to do it.”

You shoot her the finger accompanied by a glare as the two of you finally exit the bathroom to the bustling scene of the party, with sweaty bodies swaying to the rhythm of music blasting from the speakers.

“Y/n!” A golden voice calls out, making you turn over your shoulder, to find Jake waving you over excitedly, with a tall boy dressed in all black beside him, leaning against the wall coolly as he gazes at you with hooded eyes.

There’s an ineffable feeling that crawls into your stomach when you see Jay, as if he held all the power in the world to crush you with a glance. “Come play beer pong with us, we need two more people.” Jake's voice goes through your ears before leaving through the other side as you nod aimlessly, eyes trained on Jay’s figure — lean back muscles that were visible through the shirt that hugged his figure, as you and Yunjin follow them into another room.

“Me and Jay against the two of you,” Jake grins as he nudges you by the shoulder to the other side of the ping pong table, a few familiar faces surrounding the area.

“I’m out, ask Heeseung to play instead,” Jay mutters under his breath, but you catch it despite the loud chatter amongst the crowd. And it dims the small excited flame burning in your heart.

You watch as Jake sighs, “come on bro, don’t be a party pooper. First Sunghoon ditches to go god knows where with that neighbour of his, and now you?” Jay moves to comb through his slicked back black hair, eyebrows furrowing as he calls Heeeung over.

Looking at Heeseung, you realise that Jay and him were two completely different kinds of beautiful: Heeseung had a sharp jawline and soft curves; Jay, on the other hand, had a kind of edge and arrogance constantly lining the corners of his mouth, and it’s unconventional. To say the least. Everything about him was to you.

“Come on Park, don’t spoil the fun,” you pitch into the conversation, as the three heads turn towards you, “or are you scared you’re going to get trashed by two girls?”

Jay mutters a chain of words under his breath as he steps out of the tiny circle they’ve made, towards you, his gaze centred on you. And it suddenly feels silent as Jay’s eyes start at the tips of your toes, sliding across the smooth expanse of your legs and past your torso, lingering on the slight curvature of your neck before landing on your lips. Your swallow is embarrassingly audible in the unusual quietness, but you soon clear your throat.

He’s so handsome it makes you want to scream. You hate how good he looks; you hate how he looks at you, like you’re something of his affections. And you hate yourself for actually liking the attention, because even though you always state that you hate him, you know it’s not true.

Jay just gets on your nerves.

“Fancy seeing you here, Cupid. Who knew you could ever look so stunning?” And just like that, the moment’s over.

“Shut the hell up, Park. All you have to do is throw a ball into a cup, or are your basketball skills that bad?” You challenge him, and Jay lets out a laugh: a real laugh that you want to hear again and again and again, because it sounds like silver music and he’s beautiful.

And you hate yourself and your feelings.

“If that's what you think,” he breathes, as he stares into your eyes, “let’s make a bet then. If I win, you have to come to a basketball game of mine — because you’ve clearly not been to one, wearing my jersey, cheering for me. And if you magically happen to win, I’ll do anything you want me to.”

Maybe his car, maybe you could ask him to give you his car, you think as you set your mind on winning. Not one ounce of doubt that you’d be able to beat Jay, because despite not having attended one basketball game, you think that you had sufficient skill to win. He can’t be that good, right?

And once again Jay proves you wrong as he effortlessly scores cup after cup, and you’re buzzed, barely able to comprehend your surroundings as the crowd cheers his and Jake’s name. The only words you hear clearly is Jake’s extremely loud cry of excitement as Jay throws yet another ping pong ball into the last cup on your side of the table.

“See how it’s done, angel? I’m not vice captain for no reason,” he smirks as he rounds the table to your side. Though you’re half gone, you’re suddenly grateful for the dim lighting because you’d be caught dead by the boy next to you if he sees your flushed cheeks at the new nickname he’d just given you.

“Anyone told you not to randomly call strangers angel?” You hiss, as he gently wraps an arm around your waist, steadying your wobbling figure. Jay shrugs, and you huff out a breath, “it does something to them, okay?”

The boy looks down at you, thumb brushing over your cheeks — and you tell your weak heart to calm down, “what does it do, angel? Tell me,” he mutters under his breath, and he’s too close to you, because you can feel the weight of his words sink into your body as the hairs on the back of your neck stand.

“It hurts me, them, right here,” you reply, closing your eyes to tame the nauseating feeling in your brain, as your finger points to your heart, “makes their heart go boom.”

You don’t see anything, but you can feel Jay’s hands wrapped carefully around the nape of your neck, fingers entangled in your hair, as the other cradles the smooth, glass-like skin of your jaw, thumbs once again brushing with a tantalising shimmer. His breath smells of sangria and mint, and the sensation is just warm as you’re cast unceremoniously under his addicting spell.

“Yeah?” He whispers, and you nod softly.

“Yeah,” you answer, “so stop it, whatever that was. It’s annoying.”

Your eyes open and you see Jay smirking in his trademark expression, and you click your tongue in annoyance, pretending as if your heart wasn’t about to jump out of your chest.

“But that’s what you are, aren’t you? Cupid - Angel, same thing.” He replies, and you’re about to answer, but decide not to as his words swirl around in your chest.

“What are you even doing here anyway?” you groan, changing to topic as you furrow your eyebrows, vision betraying you as Jay’s devilishly handsome face duplicates itself under intoxication. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to drink when you were such a lightweight.

“Don’t think too hard, angel,” Jay teases, “or else your head will start hurting.”

“Shut up asshole,” you roll your eyes, trying to concentrate on the boy in front of you instead of the pounding in both your head and chest.

Jay grins, and you can see a little bit of evilish impurity and jaded sleekness — like a trained jaguar waiting to pounce. “Shut me up then,” he murmurs, “kiss me, angel.”

“If I kissed you, you wouldn’t be able to handle it,” you announce, and you busk in this moment because you’re sure you’d forget it tomorrow morning.

“And if I kissed you, I probably wouldn’t be able to stop.”

iii. do me a favour and bury me alive

You wake up buzzing out your mind, surprisingly in your own bed, with not a hint of remembrance of last night’s drunken conversation.

“Just get out, get some fresh air, it’s good for hangovers,” Yunjin says, all dolled up and ready to patronise the new cafe she’s been raving about, while you sit at the edge of your bed, staring daggers at her with your hair all messed up and head still spinning.

You groan, “are you insane,” your hand moving up to rub your eyes furiously, “must feel good not to be a lightweight.”

Maybe it’s your friend’s persuasion skills or maybe it’s just the fact that you’re easily persuaded because after ten minutes, you find yourself decently dressed and walking into the small diner situated around the corner as the striking ring of the bell pierces into your head, making you wince.

“Jake, fancy see you here again,” Yunjin shouts across the diner to a small four person booth where you see said boy’s head popping out.

“Yunjin, Yn,” Jake waves, as Yunjin pulls you yet again to Jake, exactly like how she did yesterday night. “You know my best friend,” Jake introduces, staring at her as she waves, a bright smile that could bring a boy to his knees.

“Cupid or yn, right?” She asks, with clear confidence exuding out of her, “Jay’s cupid.”

You cough at her words, eyes darting to Jake’s face as you tilt your head in question. “Jay’s told me or well me and Jake about you.” She clears up, moving your suspicions away from her best friend.

“Right,” Jake chimes in, “surprised you’re still alive after yesterday. You knocked out mid conversation with Jay and he drove you and Yunjin home.”

“Come again,” you turn to look at Yunjin, eyebrows furrowed as she gives you a guilty look.

“He had a nice car, and he offered, what could i even do with you alone,” she murmurs under her breath and you slap her shoulder.

“Actually, Jay’s here if you want to talk to him,” Jake brings up, looking around for the boy. And your eyes widen at his words, tugging Yunjin’s sleeves as an indication to leave.

“Yn, Yunjin,” and you curse yourself because Jay sounds so good in the early hours of the morning, too good, with his slightly raspy and deep voice that you wished to hear over and over.

You can’t bring yourself to look at him, knowing how you are when you’re drunk. Embarrassment swallowing you whole and spitting you out at the thoughts of what you might have done in your drunken state consuming you.

“You okay angel?” You turn around at the sound of the nickname that pinches at your heart, “after what happened last night, I thought you’d never see the light of day again.” The familiar devilish smirk is cued and you know you shouldn’t be trusting him yet you are as your cheeks heat up.

Jay chuckles at your abashed state as he gazes at you, wondering how you looked so good even in a plain white shirt and shorts. Like an angel, and he thinks the nickname he’s given you is spot on.

“Don’t remember? Then I’ll leave it to your imagination,” he says, leaning into you. As you freeze, eyes dart from his face to his lips for a second before looking back up. You don’t know what’s come over you because your usual calm demeanour has been flushed out, replaced with the resounding of your rapidly beating heart.

“Can’t believe you’d do such a thing to me, angel.”

Your imagination runs wild especially after you watch Jay walk out the diner with a winner’s smile on his face, head racing with embarrassing scenarios as he consumes your mind day and night.

iv. pink eyes, pink hearts, the whole world turns pink when i’m with you

When you meet Jake again at the same small rounded Starbucks table a few days later, you confirm with him that Jay has absolutely no intentions of getting together with his girl. He smiles and tells you that there’s no longer a need for you to ever talk to Jay again, and for some reason it bugs the hell out of you.

You don’t know why. Maybe it’s because you can’t stop thinking about the golden confidence that surrounds his body like second skin, or the way he walks — like he’s it. Maybe it’s the way his hair still looks perfect after hours of sweat and playing basketball, or maybe it’s just because he knows exactly how to get you heated.

You hate thinking about him too much, because you’re afraid that your cheeks will flush a cherry red and you’ll start remembering how he bent down to tie your shoelaces or how his muscular arm wrapped gently around your waist as he entertained your drunk blabbering ( you cried for three days upon remembering this, cursing Yunjin for not helping you out ). So you don’t think about Jay, how he’s so so pretty and you certainly don’t think about the straightness of his nose, or the birthmark on his neck.

It’s a Friday night, and the campus is empty, students all gathered to watch the football game. And you feel an uneasy sensation settling at the bottom of your stomach. Something’s terribly off, you realise, as you look at your shadow and see another following you at an awfully close distance.

You fucking hate men, you conclude, as you clutch the pepper spray you keep in your jacket pocket, and you continue walking in the same direction like nothing’s wrong. You can’t call Yunjin, because she’s busy cheering her head off at the football game, you think as you try to strategise. And you silently curse as you watch the shadow get closer, it’s fine, you think, you’re strong and fast — and your trusty pepper spray never betrays you.

You turn around and spray the small can in the face of your follower, jumping back to see if the chemicals did the desired damage. But when the air clears, all you see is Jay’s gorgeous face crying profusely.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” you repeat again and again, and he doesn’t say anything. “I’m so sorry, Jay. Are you crying?”

The boy in front of you doesn’t look at you, blinking through his red eyes and burning tears as he takes the tissue you’ve offered him. You watch his swollen, puffy eyes as tears roll down and collect at the corner of his chin.

It’s not the time to laugh, you think, maybe just a little. And you have a strong urge to whip out your phone from your back pocket and take a picture of the once in a lifetime view in front of you.

So you do. And Jay isn’t having it.

“You know,” he says, voice scratchy, “you’re the most difficult fucking person I’ve ever met in my life.”

You scoff, rolling your eyes at his obvious compliment, “how would I know that you weren’t some pedophilic stalker who’s come to kill me!” You look at his pitiable state and you stop, “I’m really sorry.” Your voice softens.

“Say it again.” And his commanding tone makes you feel not so apologetic anymore.

“Go to hell.”

Jay sighs in annoyance, “that’s cute,” he replies, and you ignore the way your heart skips a beat. “I just saw you and wanted to talk to you, and maybe give you my jersey, for our bet.” His voice reminds you of springtime love and dragonfruit hibiscus, of frenzied thrills and mysterious shadows.

“Oh, where is it?” You ask, as if the thought of wearing his jersey to watch your first ever basketball game didn’t excite you even a little bit. His fingers clasp around your wrist, pulling you to a carpark where he had parked.

He unlocks his car, one hand still pressing the piece of tissue against his eye as the other swiftly opens the boot of the car. “Here, it’s washed, don’t worry — since you seem like that kind of person.”

You give him a look, as you watch him remove the tissue from his eye. It’s turned a shade of pink now, less puffy and less glassy. “What exactly do you mean by that Park, and here I was thinking of treating you for ice cream in return for giving you a pink eye.”

He huffs a tired sigh, “with the way you’re tiring me out, you should treat me for ice cream.”

And you look at Jay, who’s glowing under the rim streetlights despite his obvious red eye ( kudos to you ). With cheekbones that cut like ice and eyes liquid scotch, Park Jay is an alcoholic beverage and he doesn’t even know it. You’re addicted, even if your mind disagrees with your heart.

Stars could gleam all throughout the night sky and yet you’d still prefer to watch them through his eyes. And you think that you’re fucked, because you’ve never really thought of anyone like that. Not even Lee Heeseung, you only liked him because he was the fastest runner in middle school, but Jay — Jay made you feel like treasured snow in a globe kept by a bedside, he makes you feel like a fever dream.

“If you drive me, I will,” you say and he grins, jogging over to open the passenger seat for you.

“I’ll take a pistachio ice cream,” he orders as he slides into the driver’s seat and you enjoy the cool, crisp air blowing at you.

You choke at his words, “pistachio?” as your head tilts in question, “who eats pistachio nowadays? Everyone eats mint chocolate chip.”

Jay’s face contorts into an expression of disgust as he scrunches his eyebrows, taking his eyes away from the road to face you. “Honestly expected more from you angel, but I’m not surprised, just disappointed.”

“And I expected more from you, Park.” You comment, “who the hell doesn’t like mint chocolate chip?”

He groans at your argument, “it’s fucking toothpaste on a cone, what is there to like?”

You gasp, mouth wide open ready to fight back till he sighs, eyes rolling as he turns into the parking lot of Baskin Robbins, “fine, I’ll give mint chocolate chip another try if you try pistachio. We’ll try each other's ice cream, okay?”

Smiling, you nod, happy that you’d win the argument, even if it meant having to try some weird nutty flavour of ice cream. “I’ll go get it, wait for me.”

You jog into the store, excited to finally treat yourself to ice cream — and for Jay’s expression when he eats mint chocolate chip because you know his face would scrunch up ( and you wouldn’t miss the opportunity to take yet another picture ).

You come back out into the parking lot, and you see Jay, with another girl pressed up awfully close to him, and it feels like your throat is closing up, squeezing as you feel the urge to rip the two apart. It looks wrong — Jay and her, and you think it’s what your knowledge and years of being Cupid is saying ( or maybe it’s your heart ). You hate it, hate the way she’s looking at him as if he’s some fallen God from heaven, hate the way she shifts closer to him even when he’s trying to avoid touching her.

You move before you know it, and you expertly loop your arm around Jay’s waist after passing his cup of ice cream to him. Red hot satisfaction lighting up inside of you as Jay rests his arm around you — as if it’s his natural instinct, and his expression of annoyance morphs into one of a devilish smirk that you were now well acquainted with.

“You’re back, angel,” Jay murmurs, as he kisses the top of your head, his voice reverberating in your temples.

“Yeah,” you say, grinning sweetly at him before shooting the girl a glare: eyes turning into stilts as you give the clueless girl yet another warning sign. It doesn’t take long for the intruder to awkwardly excuse herself before you click your tongue in annoyance, turning around to face Jay who had a foreign expression on his face.

“Is my angel jealous?” He asks, raising an eyebrow, and your heart fawns at the small movement that was ridiculously attractive. He hums, smiling sharply as your breath catches.

You clear your throat and look away, well aware that your hand still lingers on his chest and you have no motivation to move it. “Shut up.” And you feel panic rising, bubbling. This is bad. This is too dangerous.

“I could shut you up instead,” Jay murmurs, stepping even closer and a thrill runs through your body. “Want me to?”

“You’re such an arrogant asshole,” you whisper, slapping his shoulders without any real force, “why would you ask me this kind of question.” Your heart is screaming a resounding yes.

“Because I’m a gentlemen,” Jay glares at you, and this tension between the both of you — like cold fire and hot ice, erupts in a lick of blue, crystallised flames. “So I’ll ask you another time,” he pulls you towards him, “can I kiss you, angel?”

You can’t take it anymore. “Stop talking and just do it.”

You pull him down by his collar and press your lips onto his, feeling your skin heat up as his lips move on yours. Holy shit, you think. He’s an expert kisser. And it might be ironic because it’s your first kiss ever, but you believe that nothing after can ever top this.

His hands rest on your waist, then to your jaw, then to your neck — and you feel. Feel the tip of his tongue asking for entrance at the inner part of her bottom lip, feel the way he’s kissing you roughly but smoothly at the same time, hair brushing your forehead and breath unsteady against yours. Jay tastes like a blessed curse, a collection of angelic alcohol on a summer evening, and you want to hold him and never let go.

Because you’re making out with Jay, and your heart is pounding as you rest your thumb on his pulse and feels it flaring wildly, recklessly. Oh my god, you think, as he squeezes your waist before breaking the kiss — eyes slightly hooded as he stares at you in adoration that sparkles under the midnight sky.

He might will be the death of you.

v. three ways to ruin park jongseong

Jay thinks that there’s three ways to ruin him.

One: The kid’s viking ride at amusement parks. It absolutely destroys him, and his hair that he works on for hours in the morning. His knees get weak and his brain thrown out of his body as he squeezes his eyes shut, begging heaven to let him live another day even before the ride starts.

Two: Mint chocolate ice cream. Which was why he surprised himself when he agreed to give it another try for you. He absolutely distastes the flavour, as the creamy cavity inducing toothpaste taste coats the roof of his mouth, he winces in disgust. The only exception, he thinks, is when he kisses you and he tastes it. Instead of its usual nauseating effect, it instead tastes like love drunk cherry epidermises.

Three: You. With his jersey hanging from your shoulders, and he can smell his cologne, as you brush past him, eyes forming crescents as you greet him. “Hey Jay, you ready for the game?”

His heartstrings tug, quicker and quicker at the sound of his name rolling off your tongue. And he might be a little foolish when it comes to love, but he thinks that this was the way his name was meant to be said.

“Jay? What, cat got your tongue?” You laugh, smiling. And he thinks he’s fallen for your laugh — that’s utterly contagious, your smile — which made him giddy for no reason, and the way you weren’t scared to annoy the hell out of him.

He doesn’t know if this feeling is normal, because despite the rumours, Jay’s never had a girlfriend, nor has he ever been with a girl; relationship or not, and it was all Heeseung who had girls around all the goddamn time. With them, he felt sick at the way they whined to touch his hair. But you, you ruin him the most, even more than the viking ship ride. And all his life, Jay’s been a pretty systematic person, but now he doesn’t know where to start, what to do about it.

“Come again angel, didn’t catch that,” he replies, eyes catching yours as he turns into the school car park, one arm slung over the back of your seat as he reverses into a lot.

You groan, cheeks pink, and he doesn’t know what he’s done wrong. “I said, are you scared the other team will trash you to pieces?”

Jay chuckles, at your sharp tongue and the way you skillfully tease him. “I’m not scared, why would I be? With an angel cheering for me, I literally have God on my side.” He gets out and rounds his car, moving over to open your side of the door as he watches you lick your honey lips in nervousness. Under the 7pm tinted red and orange skies of a Wednesday, Jay realises how blue he’d feel without you now that you’re here.

“Who,” you pause, as you try not to jumble up your words, “who said I’d cheer for you?” A lazy smirk painted on your face, as you praise yourself for not tripping over the nervous butterflies the boy in front of you gave your stomach.

“You’re here with me,” he says, eyes trained on you as you lean back onto the side of his car, “I drove you here, I will be walking in with you, the jersey you’re wearing has my name on it. And, I invited you to the game in front of half the school population at that party. You see the pattern here, angel? It’s us or nothing.”

The way his eyes hold your gaze as his hands graze over yours melts you. And you’re so drunk in him, you feel as if you could touch the clouds in the salmon sky.

“What if I exchange my jersey with another girl?” You say, eyes glinting with mischief as you fold your arms, testing him. “Or maybe I’ll sell it, I’ve heard that this jersey is a pretty coveted item here in Decelis.”

He clicks his tongue in annoyance and you grin, “girls like you are the bane of my existence.”

“Girls like me?” You raise an eyebrow, “love, I’m one of a kind.”

“Yeah, you are. You are the bane of my existence.” Jay nods in agreement, as he slings his bag over his shoulder, and wraps his fingers gently around your wrist, guiding you into the unfamiliar sports hall. He thinks he’s playing with something dangerous — because you’re tangerine dusts of fire, flames that warm his skin and he relishes your warmth as you intoxicate his brain, his mind, as the smoothness of your skin lingers on his fingertips.

Jay makes up his mind that today’s match would be the best match he’s ever played. Not because you were here, sitting at the front row of the bleachers. Well, maybe, maybe it was because he wanted to hear you cheer his name, watch you grin in celebration as he scores hoop after hoop, and maybe because then — only then can he smoothly ask you to celebrate his win with him over dinner.

And that is exactly what he does.

“You did so good, Jay, when you twirled around that dude and bam threw the ball into the ring,” You say, reenact Jay’s winning shot, the jingle of the bell of your favourite diner that you recommended Jay to go to ringing as you enter the small place.

Jay think’s it’s extremely endearing, the way you call the basketball hoop ring, or how you explain his moves as if he was a dancer on stage — twirling, he thinks he could work with that.

Jay directs you to a booth to sit in and a waiter comes to take your orders. You request a double cheeseburger and so does Jay. And he notes down the way you toy with the salt and pepper shakers, rips up the edge of a napkin, and clinks silverware together in odd amusement; you don’t ever stop moving, it seems. And it’s adorable.

“Tell me about your business,” Jay prompts, elbow settled on the table as you grumble in protest.

You shake your head, pursing your lips in refusal, “It’s a little embarrassing.”

“No it’s not,” Jay huffs, “I think it’s interesting.”

And so you tell him. “People pay me to matchmake them with someone they’re attracted to,” you mumble, “and sometimes I get paid more when I get a request to play a certain role.”

“What kind of role?” Jay asks, full of curiosity.

“Well, on Saturday Yoo Jimin is paying me to act like an innocent girl who her boyfriend was two timing with — he cheats a lot you see, and she wants to finally dump him.” You elaborate, “I don’t accept all of these requests, I choose them. I get a whole lot of weird ones too so that's a big no.”

“Isn’t that cruel,” Jay comments, but a drop of pity found nowhere in his voice. And you laugh, tilting your head back. He watches, eyes following the curve of your throat.

“Maybe,” you say, “but cheaters deserve it. Especially when Jimin’s boyfriend has hooked up with multiple girls.”

“So you like to roleplay?” Your mouth drops open.

“Is that all you got out of my explanation? That I may like to roleplay?” You scoff as Jay grins, “sadly for you Jay, I don’t.”

He glares at you and you glare back at him even harder. “Right,” he snaps, “how could anyone ever put up with you to begin with? You’re impossible.”

“That’s mean,” you pout, eyes flickering to his as you rest your chin on the palm of your hands. “You’re mean, Jay. I really hate you.” False.

“And you’re a devil’s spawn.”

You gasp, “you wound me, Jay. I thought I was your angel.”

Roseate cheekbones, pearlescent soft lips, and bickering emanates love as the both of you fill the quiet dinner with intimate chatter.

And the night dies down all while Jay thinks about how you’re a vivid dream of lust and harmonies, euphoria reeking upon your entire figure, lips tainted with surreal giggles — and that the saliva in your throat is yet rather angel dust that converts into musical laughter, music he loved to hear as he watches you.

vi. mascara stained cheeks, bruised skin, and a crumpled piece of paper.

“He must be really fucking into the cheating shit if he’s meeting his side chick an hour away from our school,” Jay grunts as he pulls over at the entrance of the restaurant Jimin sent you.

Today, you’re donned in a different style of sweatpants and a random big sweatshirt you stole from Jay’s backseat. Your hair messed up and your mascara smudged. It wasn’t really part of the job to be dramatic, but you only live once, so what’s the point of living boringly.

Jay scans your face for the fifth time in an hour, “you look exceptionally pretty today, angel. You really live up to your nickname.”

You grin, eyes rolling as you shuffle through your bag to take out a positive pregnancy test, mind sifting through your checklist — mascara check, positive test check. “Jay, love, it’s called dedication. You obviously do not have such a quality.”

His heart spins when you call him love. And it’s crazy, because he’s staring at you — with makeup smudged all over your face, positive pregnancy test in your hand from God knows where, drowning in his oversized sweatshirt yet he thinks you’re pretty, too pretty. And if that wasn’t dedication, he doesn’t know what is.

“I’m dedicated,” he says. And you raise your eyebrows in question.

“To what Jay? And don’t say basketball cause everyone in the world knows that you’re in love with it. Honest to G-”

“You,” He cuts you off, as he watches sunlight seep through the windows of his car onto your cheekbones, softly portraying faint constellations of stars upon them. He watches as your orbs glimmer with fervour, lips parting slightly to expose a marvelled gasp, and he hopes that the hazed longing in his eyes has reached you.

You cough, eyes dodging his gaze as you shift. “Not now, Jay. Not when I look like this.” And it’s enough for Jay to start smiling. He’s amused, that all that mattered to you right now was how you looked when he was about to confess to you.

“Fine,” he laughs, “I’ll do it when you look prettier than you look now.” You hum as you appreciate the way his arms look under the sunlight through the windows. Before today, you’ve never associated attractiveness with driving, but the slight imprint of his veins along with his lean muscles turned your mouth drier than usual.

“Only you get me, love,” you say, as you mess your hair up a little bit more in the mirror. “How do I look?”

“Like a sex addict.” You slap him, hard across his chest. “What? You asked!”

“You can’t say things like that to a girl,” you tell him, hiding a secret smile. “Be a gentleman, say I look stunning and wish me luck.”

“You’d only be looking good when you’re going on a date with me, roleplaying or not.” He mutters under his breath as you shoot him yet another glare. “Fine,” Jay gives in, leaning over the control panel, and he’s dangerously close to you. “Good luck, angel.”

In front of you, everything is still. Jay, time, galaxies, constellations pause to dawn upon him and gaze at you, who’s clearly unaware of your beauty. “Happy?”

You nod and he smirks, “Why so quiet now angel?”

“Just shut up and get on with our act.”

He laughs before the two of you go over your plans again: Jay entering into the restaurant first, sitting at a table near Jimin’s to monitor the situation, and you entering five minutes later, causing the biggest break up ever. It’ll be fun, like drama club.

You look at yourself in the mirror once again, and you think you look like those prostitutes in those trashy american tv shows before you enter the building with the classy exterior. With crystal chandeliers hung and tablecloths made of white linen, you feel terribly out of place, but for what if not for money.

You immediately spot Jay, sitting there with his long legs spread out. And a few tables to your right sits Jimin and her boyfriend, who continuously toys with his phone under the tablecloth while she tries to keep the conversation going.

It’s showtime.

You storm up to their table, positive pregnancy test in one hand as you yell out, “How could you! How could you cheat on me!” Hands reaching out to grab the boy by his collar, tears welling up in your eyes as he fumbled to stand straight under your tiger grip.

“Who the fuck are you?” He asks, eyes wide as saucers as his hands move up to surrender. “Jimin, babe, I swear I don’t know this crazy woman.”

“Crazy? You said I was your everything, that we were bound by fate! I believed you and now I’m pregnant,” you scream, throwing the test into his face as his hands scramble to catch it.

“Just get it removed for god’s sake, it’s not that fucking hard.” And you gasp, shocked by the sheer stupidness of the boy. You don’t really let your emotions get to you, but the boy in front of you with a grip that could bruise your wrist and a mentality of a crude alpha male disgusts you.

“Are you fucking kidding me? You have a girlfriend who was willing to listen to you and give you a second chance before, but you ruined it by being an arsehole.” You pinch his forearm and he yelps, “you’re pathetic, and you don’t deserve anyone in your life.”

You watch as Jimin packs her things and leaves, before you meet Jay in his car. And without a word, he pours the makeup remover you brought onto a cotton pad, dabbing your face with it as his fingers softly brush over the bruise forming on your wrist.

“You’re insane,” he says, “so fucking insane.”

You grin, “you don’t mind,” you make up his mind for him, and he rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, I don’t,” he says as he digs his pocket to retrieve a crumpled piece of paper, handing it to you.

And you open it, reading the scrawny handwriting in black ink.

Matchmaking

Name : Park Jay / Park Jongseong

Match : This girl I call angel, I’m sure you know who I’m talking about

Extra : I think we’re a match made in heaven, so please, help me win her over

vii. somebody to you

You push your clingy boyfriend Jay away from your body, and to no avail fail for the third time. “Jay, you’re going to be late,” you tell the boy whose arms wrap protectively around your waist, “that’s not very vice captain of you.”

“And it’s not very girlfriend of you to chase your boyfriend away,” he mutters into the crook of your neck, as he proceeds to tighten his grip around your waist.

You give up, which you should have done minutes ago, because you know your boyfriend isn’t one to listen to anyone — even you. But you wouldn’t have it any other way, especially not when you’re not an easy person either.

“Go, or I’ll ask Yunjin to put that photo of you with a pink eye on the jumbotron,” you tease, and it works because Jay immediately lets go of your waist, eyes turning into slits.

“Hate you,” he says, rolling his eyes as he pulls you in for a kiss.

It’s short and sweet. And a line invisible to the naked eye seemed to be drawn between the both of you, it’s scarlet and relatively thick in magnitude, as the feeling of being in heaven — a feeling you’re accustomed to whenever you’re with Jay enlightens your skin again.

“I love you more,” you tell him, as you smile.

And Jay looks, and he adores. He thinks ( knows ) he can watch you until the sun rises and the sun sets again, that he can watch you for days on end and never grow tired of you.

“Love you the most, angel.”

bonus. somewhere far far away, in the land of eumpapas, nella presents ‘not so love letters’

Dear Y/n ( my angel ),

Did you know? That there’s 7.8888 billion people in this world, and yet I’m here, stuck with you for life. God must really hate me, to send an idiot disguised as Cupid to me, as if I needed any matchmaking — I’m Park Jongseong for god’s sake, but then again you’re you, and I could never compare to that.

You’ve been a lot of my firsts, and I don’t think I’ve ever told you that. You’re the first girl I’ve ever kissed that I had feelings for, the first person I’ve ever driven around in my car, and the first person I’ve gone borderline insane for ( stop blackmailing me with the pink eye picture ).

Yesterday, I spent 200 dollars treating Jake to a fancy steak place because as he claims, it was him who was the actual Cupid: giving us an opportunity to meet, giving me the chance to finally meet you. And he kept yapping on and on like a fucking dog about how disappointed he is that you’ve quit your matchmaking business, so I told him to shut up and bother someone else about his love problems.

I’m writing this under my desk during math, so please don’t complain about my obviously legible handwriting ( don’t know what you’re going on about my writing looking like worms ). Just wanted to say : you look pretty today, just like yesterday, and just like you will tomorrow. You’re like always, perfection held on a human body.

some boy you’re in love with,

Park Jongseong ( your love )

exeunt. he ties your laces so you can’t fall for anyone else.

© eumpapas

lipgloss and kisses

pairing: enhypen x gn!reader

synopsis: he watches you put it on and he loves to take it off.

warnings: fluff, skinship, suggestive-ish for hyung line except sunghoon, swearing, humour levels: bad, proof read ig

library: enhypen bookshelf

heeseung

one word. impatient.

heeseung obviously thought you looked good with lip gloss. in fact he thought you looked good in anything. lip balm, lipstick, lip oil, whatever that was... the reason behind it wasn't the product, it was you.

you just had such kissable lips. he had always thought so. even before you got together. heeseung liked you so much to the point any time you'd bring out some lip balm, all his attention would be focused on your lips. it was a bit strange, he couldn't deny that. but heeseung also couldn't help that you were just so captivating. the care you took to put it on, ensuring nothing escaped the borders and if it had, the swipe of your finger that tugged those pretty lips down... god... it was a lot.

honestly, you spent a lot of money on lip products. the reason? heeseung.

that man was always kissing you. on the bus, during your night routine, before bed, when you wake up, when you cleaned the dishes together, after being a part for a mere half hour....

and it wasn't just a peck. no. it was like heeseung was consuming you're entire essence. he would be breathing heavily, hand supporting the back of your neck to bring your closer if possible, kissing you as if he had been waiting a lifetime to do so. small gasps would fall from your lips while he nibbled down slightly, tugging and pulling at what was purely swollen by this point.

you lost more product than you put on. take now for instance because this is how it played out every single time. especially in the case of your stupid lipgloss.

you were getting ready for the day, adding your final touches. heeseung, who was only half dressed, still sporting his sweatpants from the night, had his arms slung around your neck, chin nestling into your collarbone, being his usual clingy morning self as you began to apply your lipgloss.

heeseung, finally registering you were putting on the lip gloss, whispered in your ear. "come on, a little faster, baby."

"hee," you whined, cheeks beginning to burn already. this was it. you could barely get through putting anything on your lips without him urging you to hurry up so he could kiss you. "stop! i always have to reapply because of you. i'm not going to kiss you."

heeseung just smiled softly, leaving gentle kisses on your neck. you sucked in a sharp breath, trying to regain your focus. "why do you make this so difficult?" you mumbled, carefully applying the gloss to your bottom lip.

you could hear a huff of amusement slip out of heeseung's mouth. "you are one to talk... you know how i feel about your lips. yet you torture me every single day."

you suppressed your eye roll at your boyfriend's theatrics. "not my fault you're down so bad."

heeseung poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue, now watching you finish up without a word to say.

you had barely put the wand down let alone in the tube when heeseung's hand gently travelled to your chin, turning your head slightly so he could duck down and bring his lips to yours.

your half-groan and half-squeal turned muffled. your grip around the applicator tightened as you fell victim to the very thing you had been trying to stop. not that you were trying hard or anything. the gasp you released when he nibbled down allowed him to make a mess of you, slipping his tongue in to mix with your own and dance with the rhythm of your heavy pants.

heeseung finally parted, chest rising up and down with heavy breaths. his finger tugged down your bottom lip, only little remnants of your lip gloss dotting it. he sighed with a small smile. "you were right. i am down bad."

jongseong

the first time jay saw you apply lipgloss in a mirror, he was hooked. he only had to see you do it once and the following day, he brought several lipglosses for you.

it was like a side quest for him. every time he gifted you anything, a lip gloss would be on the side. or when you were literally out for groceries, you'd find him in the cosmetics aisle and he'd turn to with a lipgloss on hand. grabbing your hand, he'd pull you closer to him and start to compare the lipgloss in the packaging to your lips. "hmm... i don't know... maybe the red one would be better."

as much as you loved it, you were beginning to complain once your draw began to fill up with several tubes of gloss, covering any other item you had in sight. what were you supposed to do with this much lipgloss? furthermore, they actually had a shelf life.... they expired.

when you brought this up to jay, he gave you the most careless shrug. "i'll just get new ones. besides, all you have to do is put them on. i'll just take it off."

oh?

oh.

jay would also be so fucking sulky if his favourite colour was changed or discontinued. it wouldn't be obvious at first but after finding out, he'd let out little sighs every time you applied a different colour and he'd keep on looking at the expiry date, wishing time would stop.

you did manage to find a dupe, however. and the moment jay saw it, he was over the moon. like thank god and the stars in heaven.

immediately he'd ask you to put it on. and who are you to deny your boyfriend's sweet request? so you opened it and applied the colour, conscious of jay's trailing eyes. the moment the wand went back into the tube, jay grabbed your face, examining your lips with the distance of a hairbreadth.

you felt warm in his grasp, feeling his thumb hover over your lips as if he were tracing them. a satisfied smile washed onto his face, the scrunch of his furrowed brows disappearing. he nodded. "beautiful."

your cheeks tinged with a heated flush. you couldn't help but just give him a long kiss on his lips, parting to find your colour imprinted on him. you grinned, imitating his own tone. "beautiful."

jay rolled his eyes, hand travelling to encircle your waist. your mouth dried at the sudden proximity and the intensity swirling in his brown eyes. "let me show you just how beautiful you are."

STAWPPP 😳🤭

jaeyun

babe. listen. jake will stop everything he's doing if it means getting to watch you put some lipgloss on. sure, there's lip balm. but lip balm is not as pretty as lipgloss is on you.

pretty sure he has a spidey sense for it as well. like at any given time, if he thinks you're about to put on some lipgloss, he'll run right towards you.

you'll be in your room and you got a package the other day. it was some new lipglosses that you wanted to try. jake is in the living room, headphones on full blast, but yet somehow he can hear you open the package he brought from your mailbox.

you've just picked a lipgloss to try on and jake is already dragging the ottoman in the corner of your room to your mirror. "jake? i– where did you come from?"

"i heard you open your package, so," jake shrugged.

you blinked blankly. your hand stretched out to lift the headphones hung around his neck with a finger. "you heard me? with these on? jake, they're noise cancelling."

"i should sue for false advertisement," jake nodded to himself before redirecting his attention to you. his wide eyes flickering back and forth between you and the lip gloss in your hands.

you sighed, shaking your head. you knew exactly what he wanted. he wasn't slick with it. you had caught him several times, purposely placing your lip glosses randomly everywhere. on your bed, on the kitchen counter, next to your phone, next to the sink... the list was endless.

jake intently watched you open the lipgloss, head leaning in naturally. the push of your hand towards him surprised him but he realised quickly that you were fulfilling the question lingering inside his head: the smell of the lipgloss. taking a quick whiff, he noted the feigned berry scent, reminiscent of the warm plum colour it had.

you pushed down your smile at the cute little nod jake did once he was satisfied. taking the wand back, you leaned into your mirror, eyes narrowing and lips pursing.

out of your peripheral, you could see jake do the same, except his teeth were sinking into his bottom lip, far too focused on what you were doing.

his eyes trailed the tip of the applicator. the warm plum colour smeared softly against your pillowy lips, mostly sheer. it had small speckles of glitter from what jake could tell. as you rubbed your lips together, finally bringing in the entire coat, jake could tell he loved this gloss.

it looked amazing on you. or well, you made it look good.

you turned to him, wiggling your eyebrows. "what do you think?" you queried, jutting out your lips for him to see.

jake was at a lost for words. all he could do is grab your face with his hands and place his lips onto yours. your eyes widened at the sudden kiss before closing once you began to melt away at the pure fervour jake had within him. he was consuming you, attempting to get closer to you if he could and seizing any air around you.

you pulled yourself away, taking a big inhale of air. shit...

your eyes fell to the plum colour smudged across jake's lips. you were sure yours looked the same. you could've sworn your heart skipped a beat when a loose grin played on his face. "i love it."

sunghoon

to be honest, sunghoon had never thought about this. like ever. he had never seen it, never mind with someone he really liked, so it didn't really register for him. jake, the most clingy person he knows, talked about it all the time. he was already down bad but whatever this thing was with lipgloss, it had jake go feral. and sunghoon just didn't get it.

like bro, it's just lipgloss? like chill.

sunghoon understood the mundane things. like watching you tuck your hair behind your ears, the way you would chew down on your lip when you were concentrating on something, or the scrunch of your nose when you would squint. he would never admit it to you, or anyone for that matter, but he loved that shit.

this lipgloss thing? eh...

but then he saw it.

sunghoon never really pegged you for a lipgloss person. you were always complaining about your hair getting stuck in your lip balm, which resulted in your tucking your hair behind your ears (a win for him). so he just figured lipgloss wasn't in your kit.

but you two were getting ready for a lunch date and sunghoon saw you whip out the warm pink gloss while he put on his shoes. he forgot all about doing the laces... eyes honing on your lips through the mirror.

now that he had seen it, he couldn't stop looking. he understood it.

it was so intriguing.

the way you had to purse your lips and apply such a pretty colour. the way the light bounced off the shine, glittering occasionally. the care you took... the rubbing of your lips to smear the colour evenly... the little satisfactory nod and smile you sported when you saw yourself fully in the mirror...

fuck, he got it.

after finally finishing his shoes, sunghoon walked up to you, watching you turn around with a wide smile. you wiggled your eyebrows. "how do i look?" you asked, giving a small spin.

sunghoon smiled quietly, mind full of only your lips. he dipped his head down to your cheek, leaving a lingering kiss on the soft surface before pulling back. "pretty."

you smiled at his compliment, your own eyes looking him up and down, hand rubbing his chest gently. you stood on your toes, pressing a quick peck on his cheek as well. "you look pretty too."

your eyes widened at the shiny pink stain on his cheek. "aw shit," you cursed.

sunghoon raised a brow, looking at himself in the mirror. his body paused on the silhouette of your kiss on his skin. he could've sworn his heart was thundering in his chest while a wave of warm washed over him.

you grabbed a fresh wet wipe from your vanity, hand stretching out to wipe off the mark but sunghoon's hand wrapped around your wrist, stopping you.

sunghoon gave a small smile at the confused expression swirling in your eyes. "leave it."

your eyes go big at his words. "b-b-but it's gonna be on your skin? it's so pink and so... obvious..." you told him, voice slowly turning into a whisper as his smile got bigger.

"it's okay," sunghoon murmured, grabbing this wipe out of your hand and resting it on the vanity before intertwining his fingers with yours. "i like it like that."

soft for this type of sunghoon 🥹🤭

seonwoo

listen, seonwoo is the motherfucker that would apply it for you.

don't get him wrong. he loves watching you put lipgloss on. he admired the way you got so into it, blocking out the rest of the world for a good three minutes to make sure you had applied it well. besides, you looked so pretty.

but one day, you broke out of your trance and caught seonwoo looking invested in it. the surprise he had when you offered him the wand and a lipliner was like no other. you thought he wanted to put it on which was fine with you. especially considering you were secretly the one who loved seonwoo's lips the most. so soft... so pillowy and plump, perfect for any lip product.

but much to your surprise, seonwoo shook his head no and asked is he could put it on you. the offer was so sweet, you immediately wiped off any product on your lip, not caring that it was technically a waste, and sat ready for him to apply it.

and now... it was like a daily ritual.

every morning, as the both of you got ready, you would both decide on a combo you would wear for the day. and you would sit in front of the window, on the floor, sun beaming down on you.

it normally took three minutes at most to line your lips and then fill it with lipgloss. but with seonwoo, it took a lot longer. the both of you got distracted to easily.

he'd be lining your lips, unaware of all the sweet whispers falling from his mouth. "you're so pretty, baby," "i didn't know it was possible for lips to be this cute." and adding the final touches of your gloss, he'd say, "i just want to kiss you so bad... every day."

and this was your breaking point.

screw the lipgloss.

you would always end the entire moment by grabbing his face to kiss him. you could feel the sticky gloss move onto him, his soft pillowy lips absorbing all the colour and sparkles.

seonwoo would also get into it, pushing himself closer into your touch, making the kiss deeper as his craving for you expanded. his hands, free of the liner and gloss, would crawl up your neck, getting tangled in your hair. his eye would be completely shut, letting himself melt into you entirely.

the whole gloss thing always left seonwoo on fire. like he just couldn't wait to kiss you again and again.

you would leave the kiss by placing kisses across his jaw and kisses. practically adorning his skin in your marks while your hands fisted the end of his shirt.

you'd both spent the next ten minutes trying to wipe off the marks with wet wipes, talking and laughing about how maybe the lipgloss should be left to you, only for seonwoo to get sulky about it, refusing the proposition entirely. he was going to put your lipgloss on. even if it only resulted in it coming off.

you didn't mind though. seonwoo knew that deep down you'd wake up the next day and do it all over again just to kiss him again. because that's exactly what he wants.

jungwon

jungwon is another one who doesn't really get it. he's just so caring and romantic that he revels in the simplicity of romance.

he likes that you're the first text he sees everyday, even when you're right next to him. or when you walk around in his clothes... hoodies, matching bracelets, and keychains. when he checked on you to make sure you had eaten and to see how you're day had been going. his favourite, however, was your random urge to poke his dimples. it always made him break out into a shy smile which you teased him for.

these simple things... they kept him going.

but then came the lipgloss his sister had gifted you for your birthday. you were a big fan of tinted lip balms, he knew that. he always pretended to gape at your drawer full of them because he knew you'd end up hitting him in the arm, annoyed by his teasing.

this lipgloss, however, was truly one of a kind. it was packed with some of the prettiest glitter jungwon had ever seen. to be honest, jungwon should've thanked his sister when he saw you first apply it the next day.

you were out having a picnic. everything was just right. the sun, the comforting breeze, and the warmth of your head resting on jungwon's lap, while music softly played from your phone.

as you were resting on jungwon's lap, eyes closed and absorbing the peaceful atmosphere, you suddenly remembered you had brought along his sister's present. jungwon, who was spending most of this tranquility staring at you and combing his hand through your hair, had a mini heart attack when you suddenly opened your eyes and were lunging towards your bag.

his sharps brows furrowed at your rummaging. "what are you looking for, baby?"

your tongue hung out of the corner of your mouth. "uh," you failed to respond, trying to find the tube that you apparently had misplaced so easily in your bag. "ah! got it!" you cheered, feeling the smooth tube enter your hand.

jungwon watched as you grabbed your phone as well and went back to laying on his lap. you slid your phone to the camera, turning it so it faced you. placing the butt of the lipgloss tube in your mouth, you expertly twisted out the applicator and moved the tube between your fingers to apply the product.

the whole scene was some sort of alluring contraption to jungwon. the dexterity of your fingers surprised him but nothing surprised him more than his sudden fixation on your lips. the way you applied the warmish red in thin sheer coats across your soft lips, letting the sun capture every single speckle of glitter in it.

you were radiating.

you checked yourself in your phone before putting it down. you looked up at jungwon's staring eyes and pursed your lips. "thoughts?"

jungwon remained silent for a second, internally contemplating. but, nevertheless, a sigh slipped out of his mouth before he pressed his lips to yours. the peck was momentary before he pulled back. "i think it's pretty."

a flush of heat travelled down your cheeks. "jungwon," you whined, jutting out your lip, only increasing his urge to kiss you again. "you took like half of it off."

jungwon grinned, dimples popping out, making you instinctively poke them with your finger. his lipgloss coated lips pressed a brief kiss on the side of your finger. "i also think i'm going to have to buy you some more lipglosses."

riki

an interesting sort of impatience.

from the moment you started wearing lipglosses or he watched you put on your lip balm, riki was fixated on the act. he always pretended like he didn't care because for him it was slightly embarrassing. to be affected by something so simple, that is.

he never tries to enforce you like some people might by putting lipglosses everywhere or buying you them specifically. riki liked when it happened naturally and every so often.

on the occasion, maybe you were getting ready or you were testing out a new colour, he'd watch you out of the corner of his eye. patiently waiting for you to apply. why? it was simple because he wanted to come off.

he couldn't really grasp it. there was just this sort of annoyance that you had when riki smudged the gloss so it escaped the confines of your lips... and riki adored your reaction to it.

you'd always get slightly heated. whining and purposely trying to move away from him so you could apply it in peace. only for him to follow you out, resulting in you being chased around the house.

that was what he was impatient for. that very specific intimacy between you two. as mentioned, he enjoyed the natural occurrence of it. he could never make it happen. it just happened. and when it did, it would set the mood for the rest of the day.

like today.

you were already cautious the moment you saw riki walk into the bathroom in your peripheral. riki would raise his arms in defence. "i'm just looking for my cologne," he'd say, "i put it somewhere here because jake was hounding me for some.

you narrowed your eyes, silently turning back to the mirror and returning to your application. riki was next to you, pretending to rummage through the bathroom drawers. you can't miss the way he slowly rises up from drawers, his eyes fixated on your lips through the mirror.

by the last swipe of your lipgloss, you can already feel and see riki leaning in to mess it up. "nope!" you said, immediately retracting yourself from the bathroom counter, rushing to walk out of the room.

riki was hot on your tail. "oh come on... i'm not doing anything. i just want to spend time with you. is that so bad?" he asked, amusement underlying his voice.

you turned to him, now walking backwards out into the living room. "yes. it is bad when you have that look in your eyes."

riki stepped towards you, eyebrows pulled together in a feigned confusion. "what look?"

"that one. like you're going to eat me or something," you pointed accusingly.

riki rested his hands on his hips, standing in front of you with a slight tilt to his head. he clicked his tongue. he spoke with a nonchalant tone. "because i am."

the moment you see him take a step forward, you're off. you fell into a maze, running around your furniture which riki just inches behind you. you made it to your bedroom, in fits of laughter by this point and about to shut the door on his face.

but you're just a bit too slow.

riki's hand stretched out, wrapping his arm around your waist to pull you back into him. you squirmed in his grip while he shifted the both of you to the bed with a soft thud.

"riki," you complained despite the wide smile etching on your face. your head fell to his chest, hair falling around your ears to cover your flushed skin.

a hum fell from his lips as riki's eyes flickered over your face, hand reaching out to push your hair behind your ears after he tilted your face back up. the action seized all the air around you. at least that's what you thought by the feel of your mouth drying.

"i got you," riki quietly teased, grinning at you.

you snapped out of your trance and rolled your eyes. you hit his chest playfully, a soft laugh following after. "let me go."

riki blinked at you, head leaning in towards you. you could feel his hot breath glide past your face. one would think your heart is in your ears by the sound of how loud it is. lips a mere millimetre away from yours, he whispered, "never."

© maeumi-jng | do not copy, post (repost is fine!) or translate anywhere else! thank you ♡︎ requests here!

Justice & Mercy

god!jay park x virgin!reader [afab]

[the pantheon series || next]

genre: smut

concept: your life has always been quaint and simple in your little village at the foot of the hill your god's temple sits upon. when everything takes a turn for the worst, choices have to be made in a desperate attempt to save your village. sacrifices have to be made.

w/c: 7.6k

warning: god au, religious themes, religious imagery, human sacrifice, virgin sacrifice, blood, knives, fire imagery, consumption metaphors; explicit sexual content, god fucking, body worship, vaginal sex, rough sex, *unprotected sex, coming inside, oral (f. receiving)

You kick the dusty ground beneath your feet, dirt rising up into the air in a dirty, brown cloud. The ground is so dry that the grass has turned yellow, the dirt that holds it having grown so thin and dusty that a deep rainstorm might actually flood the houses and roads now. You look out towards the fields, the basket of clothing you’ve retrieved from the river bed sitting upon your hips. The crops are brown, long since having begun to die, many will not make it another day. Your village has been harvesting what they can, but the heat is too much. Even the river bed is thick with half dried mud, the water is low. The drought is worse than ever. 

You take the clothes to the house, dried from the heat of the day. The air is so thin and dry that your hair feels brittle, your home is hardly a reprieve from the warmth of the day, heat soaking in the dark wooden bones, the shutters left open to let what little breeze is around come through. Still, you duck inside, sitting down on the floor of the small sitting room to begin folding the clothes for your family. 

It’s while you’re doing this that voices float from the back of the home. You lift your head from the clothes, holding a tunic to your chest when you recognize one voice as your father’s, the other a village elder. You climb to your feet, shuffling across the stone flooring, trying to keep quiet. You lean against the wooden wall, straining your ears to listen. 

You know you shouldn’t. Your family has told you time and time again that it is not your place, you are too young, too fragile. You haven’t even married yet, your opinions are thin without the knowledge that comes from maturity, from a blooming love and burgeoning family. Still, you can’t help yourself, perhaps it is your worst trait, your intense curiosity. 

“We haven’t much time⁠—” 

“I will not discuss this with you any further,” your father cuts them off, his voice tight and tense. “I have given you my answer.” 

“Don’t be selfish,” the elder demands harshly. “Your daughter might very well save our lives. The village is dying, we haven’t seen rain in over two moons. We’re running out of time. If we don’t do something soon, the Gods will be sure that none of us survive the hot season. You would do well to give your daughter to them. They will look upon you kindly.” 

“My daughter does not belong to them, she is my daughter!” Your father argues. “If they want a child to appease them, they will take them where they stand. She is not a cow for slaughter!” Your breath catches softly, causing you to press your hand over your mouth, lest they hear you. “Find another.” 

“There are few in this village,” the elder tells him. “Most of them are too young, barely older than babes. You know this. Give her to the Gods, they will treat her well.” 

“They will devour her whole. I won’t let that happen.” The retreating sounds of your father’s footsteps reach your ears, as well as the heavy sigh of the elder. You sag against the wall, still holding the tunic to your chest. 

“May the Gods have mercy on our souls,” the elder whispers before retreating as well. 

It is cooler at night, though not much cooler. You close the shutters to the home, your mother having already gone to bed, her stomach swollen with your soon-to-be younger sibling. It is just you and your father awake now, your father stoking the fire to keep the house lit while you finish cleaning. Once the thin blankets have been folded, and the kitchen cleaned, you are able to sit down beside him. You open your mouth to speak but your father beats you to it. 

“I know you were listening. I heard you,” he says, but doesn’t turn away from the fires. You sigh softly, looking down at the floor. “You’re too curious for your own good, child, you should mind your business. You’ve not even married and you are trying to become involved in the worries of the village. That is my job.” He sets the metal poker aside, leaning it against the wall, then turns to you. “I handle the things in this family. You know this.” 

“Is it true, though?” You ask and his lips thin. “Will the village die without a sacrifice? The elders are right, it hasn’t rained in many days, over two moons now. The crops are dying and the river is low. We won’t have enough food for the cold season if it continues. If we wait⁠—” 

“I have given them my answer,” your father interrupts you. “It is the same one I will give you. You’re my daughter and I will not be handing you over to the Gods just for a little rain. We will pray and we will hope and they will bless us as long as we are faithful.” 

“A little rain?” You scoffs. “Father⁠—” 

“Your life is precious, you are my only daughter,” he tells you and you sigh. “Besides, you know not what the Gods would do with you.” 

“Whatever it is, my life is not worth that of the entire village!” You argue but he simply shakes his head at you, turning back to the fire. “If I do not go, the village might very well die anyway, and then what will become of me? It matters not, I may die regardless!” 

“Quiet,” he tells you. “Do not wake your mother.” You sigh, crossing your arms over your chest. “Should you die by way of the rest of the village, I will find comfort in that.” You scoff, shaking your head at him. “I will find no comfort in handing you to the Gods. You are not just a sacrifice, you are a virgin,” he points out and you turn away, skin hot for more than just the weather. “You know who they will hand you to, do you not?” He points out, giving you a hard look. 

Of course you do, the patron God of your village, Jongseong. He is many things, but merciful is not one of them. He is the God of War and Justice, the belief that things that are just will prevail over all. He is a depiction of what is right, and what befalls men who misunderstand such things. You know not what will become of you in his hands, perhaps he will use you, bend you to his will, subject you to the punishments that your village is currently experiencing, channeling his rage into you. It’s a terrifying prospect, of course, but what choices do you have? 

“I do,” you agree and he sighs. “Perhaps, if I’m given freely, he will show mercy⁠—” 

“He knows not mercy, you know this,” your father reminds you, glaring at you. “Don’t be stupid. You know well enough, you are beyond the age of silly hopes. You know what the Gods are capable of, of the things they might do to you. Jongseong will devour you, he will take you for all that you are. You are pure and untainted, he will make sure you are no longer the moment you are handed to him. I will not do that! I will not subject you to such depravity.”

“But⁠—” 

“This conversation is over,” your father tells you. “I am the head of this household and I will not be questioned. You are to remain here, safe. If they want a lamb for slaughter, they will find another. In the meantime, you pray. Pray every night to him, and to Jungwon. Hope they will have mercy on our village.” He turns back to the fire and you deflate, leaning back on your hands. 

You look towards the window, thin streams of moonlight trying to slip through the shutters. There’s not a cloud in the sky tonight. 

There’s not a cloud in the sky for another several days. The elders are unsure of what to do, you watch as members of your village share what meager food they have with one another, full hours of prayer being held in the village square. It drives you almost to madness, so close you think you might meet Jongseong just based on how filled with rage you are. Your father’s selfishness drives you to the brink, it’s what convinces you to take matters into your own hands. 

You walk into the meeting hall while the elders are meeting, surprising all of them into silence. You walk towards them, dropping to a prayer kneel before them, hands on your knees. Slowly, the village leader gets to her feet, looking down at you from the front table.

“What brings you to us, child?” She asks. 

“I wish to offer myself to the Gods,” you tell them. A murmur runs through the others though the leader does not look away from you as her expression softens into one of profound sadness and regret. “I know that I am young and unwed and virgin. I know that I am the best choice to be handed to the Gods. I know that you have asked my father and he has staunchly refused, but I am offering myself. My life may save the rest of the village’s. Please let me do this.” 

“You’d give your life?” She asks and you inclined your head slowly. 

“Yes, I would. Allow me to save everyone else’s.” 

When the day comes, you have not spoken to your father since you returned home from the elders. He yelled himself hoarse, calling you reckless and stupid. He near threatened to lock you in the home, keep you trapped until the village elders forgot all about your offer, insisting that it was only to keep you safe from yourself. You took his scolding with a steely gaze and told him that it wouldn’t change anything. He refused to speak to you, storming out of the home while your mother wept. 

You drape yourself in a ceremonial robe, of sheer white fabric that leaves your body near on display. You feel embarrassed but you know it’s all for show, that it’s meant to be symbolic of how pure and untainted you are. Despite the heat of the weather, you have goosebumps as you walk out of your house, greeted by much of the village and the elders. 

“Your sacrifice will not be vain,” the leader of your village assures you, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “You are a special child to give your life for us. We will never forget your sacrifice,” she assures you and you nod in understanding. “Have peace with your family, and then we will take you to the temple.” You nod again and then turn to your parents. 

Your mother is still crying and your father is still furious. Your mother kisses your head through her tears while your father glares at you. Still he kisses you and tells you that he loves you. You think the shine in his eyes might be tears, but you can’t be sure. You’ve never seen him cry before. 

The elders take you up the hill to the temple, a great stone building. It rises up in front of you, with its long stone columns, curved roofs and spire rising up towards the heavens. Your breath is taken by it, as it always is. Once a year your village all come up here for a festival in Jongseong’s name, praising him and leaving offerings at the foot of his altar. You swallow harshly around the lump in your throat as you’re guided up the steps and into the great hall of the temple. 

At the back of the temple is the altar, decorated with many offerings. Nearly every day someone comes here to gift to him whatever can be spared, desperately hoping that he might have mercy on the village. It’s not changed anything so far, but perhaps, you will. Just before the altar is a long, low stone table, usually decorated with a feast for the festivities but now it lies empty, white and cold. The village leader helps you lie down on it. 

It’s been a great many years since a sacrifice has been made on this slab, but you are laid out on it like the sacrifices of old. Barely covered in the thin, gauzy fabric that drapes you, the stone is chilling against your skin despite the heat of the season. Once lying down, your wrists and ankles are taken by the elders while the leader says a prayer, ceremonial knife in hand. 

The shackles that surround your wrists and ankles are heavy, rusted with time, having not been used in far too long. They weigh you down, keeping you trapped against the table that you lie upon. You close your eyes, letting the words of the prayer wash over you, trying to calm the rapid beating of your heart. With your eyes closed, you don’t see it coming, until the sheer fabric of your robe is pushed aside and the knife is pressed into your skin. 

You resist the urge to scream despite how much it hurts, characters carved into your skin, running down your sternum, between your breasts. Blood wells and then runs down your skin, pooling on the stone and in the fabric of your robe. It’s symbolic of your virginity, that the God that may take you will take with him your purity. You try not to think too hard upon what that might mean as you feel your blood trailing down your body. 

When it ends you can finally breathe, through the aching pain that still runs through you. When you open your eyes, the village leader has stepped away from you. You watch as she and the rest of the elders kneel before the slab, hands clasped in prayer. You sigh softly, dropping your head back against the stone you lie upon. 

They stand after a few moments in prayer and then turn, leaving the temple. You’re left alone, open and on display, as the heavy wooden doors close behind them. You let your eyes fall shut again, waiting for what might become of you. 

You don’t know how long you laid on that stone, the air around your thick and stifling. You could feel the blood on your skin drying down, sticky and then flaky and uncomfortable. When you moved your hands and ankles, the chains of the rusted shackles clanged in the silence of the temple, the sound bouncing off the stone, filling the room. The hours seem to drag on and on, the only indication of time passing being the open ceiling above you, the sun tracing across the sky. Your breath becomes slow and tired, the heat of the day filling your lungs as you wait for what might inevitably befall you, no matter what it might be. 

The day has turned into night by the time anything happens. Your eyes are heavy with exhaustion, your wrists and ankles ache with the weight that surrounds them, your chest still painful but having fallen into a near constant throbbing that you can mostly ignore now, the wounds will open but scabbed with blood. You stare up at the sky as the moon starts to rise over the edge of the open ceiling, the stars shining down on you sweetly. It almost makes you feel hopeful. 

You’re startled by the sudden flaring of the torches in the temple, looking around to see them all burning brightly where they line the walls. They glow orange and warm for a moment and then turn an eerie blue, dousing the room in cool light. You blink several times, looking around to see if anyone is nearby. Your mouth is dry and your heart is pounding. 

A crackling, creaking sound reaches your ears and you whip your head around to look at the altar. Right above the altar is a life sized carving of the God of War & Justice, carved out of stone that builds his temple, a constant presence. You watch the stone slowly shift in color, changing from cold gray into a warm, golden skin tone and flowing navy blue and silver. Your heart stutters in your chest as the stone comes alive, eyes closed, only for them to suddenly blink open, dark brown and intense. You swallow as best you can as he steps out from the wall, using the altar as a step to climb down from his perch, onto the floor of the temple. 

You watch as he approaches you, his expression one of disappointment and disdain. You feel shame, just lying before him as you are. He stops at your side, looking down upon you. 

“It’s crass, the things they do,” he comments, though it doesn’t seem to be towards you. “At the very least, they could show me some respect. These words mean nothing to me.” He reaches a hand out, running his fingertips over the words carved into your skin. They smart from the slight pressure, making you hiss. He doesn’t seem to pay you any mind. “If they want devotion, it would be my name carved into your skin. Not these useless words.” He brings his hand up to the top of the carved characters, slowly running the pad of his thumb down them. 

The smarting pain of the wounds slowly disappears, replaced with a cool, soft feeling, like silk over your skin. You look at your chest, seeing the wounds disappear right before your eyes. The characters change, reappearing once his thumb passes over them, knitted together on your skin in shades just lighter than your own complexion, scars reading his name. Park Jongseong is forever embedded in your skin once he’s gotten to the bottom of it, lifting his hand once completed. 

“Much better,” he comments. “Now, as for you,” he says, walking around the stone slab. “I don’t know what they think they’ll accomplish by bringing you to me.” He touches the shackles binding you, the heavy metal immediately coming undone and falling to the tiled floor with loud crashes. “But I don’t ask for human sacrifices. I don’t want them. Your village is misguided to think that giving me a life will change my mind.” He touches the last shackle around your wrist, allowing you to sit up, once freed. “I don’t bargain with humans who know not their place,” he tells you. 

“What… if I may?” You say and he nods his head. “What do you mean, your Divinity?” 

“You come from the village below, yes?” He asks and you nod, hesitantly. “They are reckless and disrespectful. They have driven their own land to infertility. They overfish and over breed their livestock. I have no use for humans who don’t understand how to cherish what they are given. This was a test, and by handing you to me, they have failed.” He leans towards you, eyes running over your figure. “A perfectly untouched virgin, pure and untainted. And they gave you to me, desperate to appease the God they’ve already disappointed. I owe them nothing.” 

“Please,” you say and his dark eyes meet yours. It makes you shiver, the intensity in them. “Have mercy. My village will die if you do not help.” 

“Mercy?” Jongseong asks. “You sit before me, carved and laid bare like a lamb, and you ask for mercy.” He touches your face gently, expression softening. “You must be young and innocent, to ask for such a thing. They gave you to me for their lives.” 

“What else were we to do?” You ask, voice shaking. “Without you, we’ll succumb to famine. If we survive the hot season, we won’t make the cold season. Please, I’m begging.” 

“You beg? You beg for me?” Jongseong asks, disappointment in his voice. “You are naive. Brought to me in a desperate bid to save your lives, knowing what I could do to you. I could devour you whole, do you realize what I am capable of?” He asks, forcing your head back, making you whimper under his hold. “Are you aware of the things I have done to humans for less? They know this and they bring you to me. You beg for mercy, as if their malevolence deserves it. Mercy begets mercy, my dear. A lesson your village will soon learn.” He lets go of you, and turns on his heel, walking back to his altar. 

“Wait, stop!” You call out, climbing off the stone table. He stops in his tracks. “Please, you don’t understand! They didn’t take me by force, they didn’t. I offered myself.” Slowly, Jongseong turns to you. You fold into yourself, shying away from his intense presence. “I offered myself, to the elders. They wanted a virgin, they wanted to appease you, yes, but my father refused. It was me. I’m the one you should blame, not them.” 

“You are more naive than even I thought,” Jongseong says, voice soft. “You hand yourself to me?” He asks, taking a careful step towards you.

“I do,” you agree. He approaches you again, causing you to shuffle back against the stone. With one hand, he grabs you by the waist, pulling you in. You gasp, suddenly pressed against his chest. Jongseong looks at you with dark eyes, but it doesn’t feel like he’s seeing you. It feels like he’s seeing through you, making your heart race, your hands tremble. Suddenly, his hand is on your face again, fingers gentle against your skin. 

“A selfless sacrifice, for the good of your people,” Jongseong says. You don’t speak, too scared of what might happen. “You hand yourself over to me, knowing well what might happen. You speak out of turn, disrespect your father, disappoint your mother and let the elders carve my prayer into your skin. You bare yourself to me despite your shame and fear. Even now, you tremble in my hold.” You try to turn away but he holds fast to your face, forcing you to meet his gaze. His eyes glow blue for a moment, making your breath catch. “Your village doesn’t deserve you, my dear.” 

“Wh-what?” You whisper. 

“Do you want them to live?” He asks, voice soft and alluring.

“Do- yes,” you agree immediately. The glow of his eyes dies down. 

“You do?” He asks and you nod vehemently in agreement. “You would do anything for that, wouldn’t you?” He asks, backing you back up against the stone. You swallow, nodding slowly this time. He pushes you down to sit you on the slab, causing you to grip at his clothes to steady yourself. As soon as you realize what you’ve done, however, you jerk your hands away, making him smile softly. “Your faith is more important than anything, I can see that within you. Do you pray to me?” His fingers trace the side of your face, looking up at him.

“Yes,” you agree. “Every night.” It’s true, you pray to Jongseong every night, born under his stars and his village. You are devout to him, gave your life to appease him. Others may cower in fear at the idea of him, but you know him for what he is, just and right. No matter how much fear you may feel towards how he will treat you or your village for what they have done, you know that it is not without reason. He will do what is necessary. 

“If that is truly what you wish, I will accept your selfless act as appeasement. You are devout and precious. Your village will mourn the loss of you like they have never mourned anything else,” Jongseong tells you, tucking a finger under your chin, tilting your head up further. “Your village will never truly move on from the grief of your loss.” 

“But they will live?” You ask and he nods once. “You promise me?” 

“I promise you,” Jongseong tells you, getting down to his knees before you. All so backwards, the way he kneels before you like a follower and you are his God. “I will let your village live, so long as you become mine. You have given yourself to me, and I will take what you have given. However, your sacrifice will resound throughout their history.” 

“I understand,” you agree. “I agree.” 

His lips press to yours. Your eyes widen, but you don’t see. The world becomes a swirling, spinning haze in front of your eyes, Jongseong disappearing from your sight as you’re consumed by a void, a navy blue void that envelops you entirely. Stars dot your sight, your body is being moved but you can’t make sense of it. Desire devours you whole, an aching, sizzling want settling deep within you, causing you to arch blindly against him, Jongseong’s hands landing on your body. 

When he pulls back, the room flares alive in your sight again. You’re opening your eyes but you don’t remember closing them, the whole temple bathed in blue light, the torches on the walls burning wildly enough that it looks like they might devour it. You can feel a warmth on your body, trails of scalding heat running over your bare skin as you’re pressed down into the slab you’re lying on. A body is over the top of yours, which you realize is the God himself when you can focus again. You look at him, mesmerized by the flickering, glowing blue that fills his irises when he lifts his head from your neck, your skin smarting from where his mouth once was. 

“I’m going to have you, fully and wholly,” he tells you, staring down into your eyes. “Your body will be mine by the end of the night.” Your breath leaves you in gasping pants, watching as he straddles your waist, hands running over your skin. It feels as though he could burn you, the heat seeping from his hands as he pushes the gauzy fabric from your body easily, revealing you to him. There’s not much to be revealed, but he does it eagerly, like he can’t wait to see what will be his before long. 

You clench your hands around the sides of the stone when he leans back down, kissing your skin again. His lips are like silk on your skin, your eyes rolling back as pleasure rushes through you. It’s unimaginable, the way he makes you feel though he’s barely touched you. You can feel a wetness between your thighs, your nipples pebbling without being touched. With every brush of his lips along your skin the scar that lies between your breasts aches, smarting like new, a reminder of who is about to claim you. 

When he pulls back again, he looks down at you softly, running his hands from your hips to your waist, caressing your skin gently. It builds an ache between your legs that is nearly incomprehensible. 

“You don’t touch me?” He asks, squeezing you gently. Your cunt clenches around nothing.

“Would you like me to?” You ask and he lifts a brow. “I… don’t want to sully you with my touch.” 

“You’re more pure than anything else in this room. I’m going to sully you, my dear. Put your hands upon me.” Hesitantly, you uncurl your fingers from around the edges of the stone, gently touching his shoulders. His eyes roll back, as though in ecstasy, swallowing roughly. “I’ve never been touched by something so blindly pure before. Your body makes me ache, my dear.” When his eyes meet yours again, the flicking fire in his irises seems brighter somehow. “I’m going to destroy you.” 

His mouth lands back on yours, the world spinning out of control. Your eyes slide closed, your fingers clutching at his neck. Jongseong moans into your mouth, his tongue pressing past your lips. He licks into your mouth like a man starved, desperate to taste every inch of the inside. You whimper as his hands start to move over your body again, heat trailing his every move. 

You lie back against the slab, letting yourself be kissed and touched by this God, that seems intent on worshiping you. Your mind spins as desire eats you up, through your whole body, feeling like there’s lightning in your bones. You arch underneath him, eyes rolling back as Jongseong runs his hands over your breasts, squeezing them softly in his hands, your nipples sore from sheer desire. He circles them with his thumbs, making you squirm underneath him, hips rocking up towards his, desperate for friction. 

He doesn’t give you any, he keeps you down against the slab as he runs his hands from your breasts to your ribs, being sure to graze his fingertips over the characters that mar your skin. You gasp, feeling like someone just poured molten metal down your spine, burning and sizzling and aching through you. Jongseong pulls away from your lips, doing it over and over again, watching you writhe underneath him, needy and helpless to his touch. 

“Do you feel that?” He whispers right above you. You dig your fingers into the sides of his neck, trying to ground yourself against the onslaught of sensations that are filling you. You don’t know that you’re meant to feel all of these things, that lying beneath a God won’t kill you, but perhaps that is your sacrifice. When Jongseong said he would devour you, he meant it. 

“J-” you stutter out, biting your tongue to stop yourself from speaking his name. You don’t deserve it, to call him by his name. He presses his thumb against your sternum though, right against the last character and you choke out a moan. 

“Say it,” he demands of you. “Say my name.” 

“Jongseong,” you gasp out and he moans above you. 

“Like a fucking prayer from your lips,” Jongseong sighs. “How beautiful.” He kisses you again, running his hands down your body, over your stomach. He climbs off of you, pulling away from your mouth so he can spread your legs apart, exposing you to him. You whimper at the idea of him seeing you like that, but he doesn’t pay it any mind as he kneels between your spread thighs, running his hands up your legs. “Look at me,” he demands and you do, shifting up onto your elbows to look at him. 

His eyes are the first thing you focus on, glowing like coals, bright blue and entrancing. You only tear your eyes away from them when he moves, lifting a hand to his cloak. He pulls it away from his body, revealing his golden skin beneath, all lean muscle, his body perfectly sculpted like that of marble. He is truly Godly, you realize as Jongseong pulls the fabric away, more and more of him until he’s throwing it to the ground and your heart leaps into your throat as your eyes roam the rest of his body. 

Down his chest, over his toned stomach, to the carved v of his hips and down between his thighs. Jongseong’s eyes don’t waver from you as yours focus on his cock, standing proudly between his thighs, ruddy at the tip and dripping from the slit. You swallow roughly, unfamiliar with the arousal of men, and yet it courses through you, the thoughts of what he might do to you. When you bring your gaze back to his face, he smirks at you. 

“You still wish to give yourself to me?” He asks. You nod in agreement, uncertainty disappearing from your mind. As nervous as you are, you won’t pull away. You won’t change your mind now, not when he’s already promised you. He leans over the top of you, causing you to drop back down onto your back, his hands resting on either side of your waist as he hovers above you. Hesitantly, you touch his shoulders, watching with rapt attention as his eyelids flutter over the top of his smoldering eyes. “Your mortal body may not be able to handle it,” Jongseong warns you, meeting your eyes again. “I may actually take you for all that you are. Do you still wish to hand yourself over to me so readily?” 

“Yes,” you agree. “Yes, I gave my word.” 

“And what a beautiful word that this,” he tells you. He gathers you in his arms, he pulls you up from the stone, pulling you onto his lap. You yelp softly, clinging to his shoulders as he does so. All of him is so hot against your skin, every place his skin touches yours scorching. Your robe flutters off of you fully, leaving you exposed and bare. You whine when you feel his cock press against your folds, warm and tempting and wet. 

He moves you like you weigh nothing, shifting you over his lap so that he can press the tip of his cock against your entrance. You squirm, suddenly anxious about it. Will he hurt you? Will he take you roughly, brutally, using your body for his own pleasure? Will he harm you as he takes you apart? Will you survive this encounter with the deity you’ve always prayed so desperately to? Gods help you, you don’t want to see Heeseung today. 

“I can hear you thinking,” Jongseong warns you. “Don’t you dare think another God’s name in my presence.” Abruptly, he pulls your hips down on his cock. You scream, head thrown back, pleasure pulsing through your body like you’ve just been cut open. 

Your heart is racing, your cunt is aching and the world is spinning. Bright flashes of light, gold and silver, fill your vision as Jongseong clutches you to his chest, fucking up into you. All you can do is cling back onto him, closing your eyes against the bright lights that suddenly fill you, shaking against his body as he fucks you with reckless abandon. You’re hardly more than a doll in his arms, being pulled down onto his cock over and over again, used for his pleasure. 

“Mine,” Jongseong bites out into your ear. His words tremble through you like they’re being spoken into your soul, a brand so deep you could never erase it. “This body is mine. This soul is mine. You belong to me.” You think you might be whining, might be agreeing, but all you can feel is a pulsing, relentless need that soaks into you. You’re barely human, mind empty, body flayed open for his taking. 

Your back hits the stone again, Jongseong hovering over you as he takes you for all that you are. When the haze of bright lights clears, you’re looking into the shining golden glow of the God that takes you. You can barely understand it, there’s blue fire dancing around his head and shoulders, sweat dripping from his body. You reach your hand up towards his face, gently cradling his cheek in your palm, causing him to look away from your body and into your eyes. 

“I belong to you,” you tell him. “I always have.” 

He leans down to press his lips to yours, eagerly kissing you. Your eyes slid closed, wrapping your arm around his neck while still cradling his face with the opposite hand. Warmth fills your body, golden and bright. You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him in closer, urging him to stay inside of you. Jongseong does as you ask, fucking you in short, tight thrusts, keeping himself buried inside of your body. Heat ebbs through you, needy and desperate, centering deep within your hips. You arch up against his body, silently begging for him. Jongseong’s mouth diverts from your mouth to kiss down your throat, biting into the skin. You whimper, the pain a shock to your system through all the pleasure he’s given you, aching through your body. 

“Give it to me,” Jongseong urges in your ear. “Give it to me. Become mine and mine alone.” You don’t know what he means but when he grips your hips and fucks into you, hard enough that you feel as though you’re going to bruise, hips jarring against the stone beneath you, your eyes roll back into your head. Blue fire fills your vision as you’re taken apart by him and him alone. 

You’re consumed by the heat of him, like you’ve been swallowed whole by blue flames when you feel a heavy gush of wetness between your legs. Your mind is empty and blank, your body going lax beneath his. Jongseong watches from above you as your eyes turn white, a glowing blue lighting up the scars on your chest. He presses a kiss to the hollow of your throat, chasing his orgasm. 

“That’s it,” he moans. “You’re more precious than you could ever imagine, my love.” He closes his eyes, throwing his head back as he lets himself come inside of your body. 

You awake in a bed, swaddled in soft fabrics, head lying upon a pillow more luxuriously soft than any you have ever known. You roll over in the bed, looking up into a blue sky, the most clear, cloudless sky you’ve ever seen, framed by marble. Your brow furrows as you slowly sit up, clutching the blankets to your bare chest. You’re still naked, left in the nude in the large bed you lie in alone. When you look around, you find yourself in a vast room of marble, the bed much too big, large swaths of decorated silk and stunningly embroidered tapestries hanging from the walls and blowing in the soft breeze that comes in the large, open windows. You have no idea where you are, but you are sure you don’t belong here. 

You extract yourself from the bed carefully, still wrapped in the blankets from the bed. You can’t leave without clothes, forcing you to look around, hopeful to find something to dress yourself in.

A draping robe of navy sits upon the back of a chair that sits before a vanity, gilded in silver. You snatch it from the back of the chair, wrapping it around yourself, letting it hang from your shoulder. It’s not the best option, threaded with silver along the edges, the fabric far too soft and gentle against your skin, clearly worth more than probably your own home. Still, without anything else to wear, it's your only option. 

You approach the hanging curtain of the doorway, gently brushing it aside. Your breath catches when you realize where you are. 

Marble and white stone stretches out as far as the eye can see, towering columns of white, curved roofs colored in jeweled tones, intricately decorated with gold, draping cloth with designs of silver and gold hanging from the overhangs. You can’t see where it ends but your attention is easily taken by the people around you. They all glow with a golden hue, draped in silver and golden jewelry, elegant robes and are more beautiful than fathomable. You try to stumble back behind the curtain lest someone see you, but you’re not fast enough. 

“There she is,” someone says, suddenly catching you by the wrist. You’re tugged aside, eyes widening as you find yourself face to face with the God of Merriment himself, Jaeyun. You try to get away, but he has a tight grip on you, smiling at you with all of his teeth, glowing golden and warm. “Come now, beautiful. You’re the talk of the palace.” 

“Please, I- I don’t mean any disrespect⁠—” 

“Disrespect, from you! Never, my dear,” he lays on, bringing you in closer. His arm wraps around your waist, pulling you in. “Someone as devout as you could never be disrespectful. After all, Jongseong brought you here, didn’t he?” 

“He did?” You ask, voice cracking. 

“Don’t remember much?” He asks, a twinkle in his eye. “Doesn’t surprise me none. The way he took you⁠—” 

“That’s enough, Jaeyun.” You turn away from the God before you, only for your breath to catch in your throat. “Haven’t you something better to do than bother our newest guest?” The King of the Gods himself, Jungwon, tells him while approaching the two of you. Jaeyun’s arm slides away from your shoulders. “Busy yourself elsewhere,” he tells him. 

“How disappointing,” Jaeyun sighs. “I’m sure I’ll be seeing you around, your highness,” he teases you, winking pointedly. Your brow furrows, not understanding. Jungwon, however, quickly comes to your side, turning you around to guide you back into the room. 

“You shouldn’t be out here,” Jungwon warns you. Once inside, Jungwon closes the curtain behind you. When he turns back to you, he smiles gently. “Don’t mind Jaeyun, he’s like any other God. A mortal is nearly irresistible to such Gods, the desire is unimaginable, even if you do belong to Jongseong. Be glad it wasn’t Heeseung.” He warns you. 

“What did he mean?” You ask, heart racing. “When he called me that?” 

“I think Jongseong should explain it to you. Stay here,” Jungwon tells you. “You don’t want to be caught outside of this room by anyone else.” He turns and walks back out, being sure to keep the curtain closed behind him. You stumble back to the edge of the bed, sitting down on it with a sigh. 

When the curtain is suddenly thrown back not long later you flinch back, thankful to find that it’s Jongseong who’s coming in. He places a plate on the vanity and then goes to you. You lean away, worried that you might’ve angered him somehow by walking out without telling him but he simply drops to his knees before you. You gasp softly, surprised by the action. 

“You’re more reckless than even I thought,” he tells you, reaching for you. His hands land on your legs, sliding up them, gathering the material of the cloak you’re wearing. You squirm away from his wandering hands but Jongseong simply ignores you, collecting the fabric that drapes your body until he’s got enough of it in his hands he can simply take it off of you. You gasp, trying to cover yourself, but he quickly climbs you, covering your body with his own. The fabric of his robes brush against your bare skin as he leans over the top of you, forcing you onto your back, his mouth landing on the valley between your breasts. 

Hot metal trickles down your spine, your hands flying to his hair, biting your lips to keep your sounds in. His hands grab your waist, his tongue laving over the scars that decorate your skin, your head thrown back into the bed as you ache, arousal pooling between your legs, deep within your hips. 

“Don’t you dare keep quiet,” Jongseong whispers into your skin. His mouth trails over your skin, scorching and burning. “Those bastards have already touched you. Tell them who you belong to.” He bites your nipple, making you cry out. “That’s it. Let them all know who’s body this is.” He moves to the other, also biting, pinching and tugging at the one already bitten. You moan, digging your fingers into his scalp. 

“Jongseong!” You moan, back arching, hips rocking up against his. 

“Louder,” he demands, sliding back down to the floor so he can get between your legs. You gasp through every breath, pushing yourself up to your elbows to look. “I want them to hear you below the fucking earth,” he tells you, eyes burning blue. “I want everyone to know who’s fucking mortal you are.” Spreading your legs apart he dips down towards your hips, fitting his mouth over your cunt. 

“Jongseong!” You scream as he laps at you, holding you open. His mouth eats at your cunt like he can’t get enough, lapping and sucking, obscene wet noises reaching your ears, heating your skin further in embarrassment. Even still, bright flashes of light go off in your vision, reminding you of who you’ve managed to find yourself in bed with. Heat and desire and need crackle through you as Jongseong sucks at your clit, taking a hand off of your leg just so he can spread you open further, shoving two fingers inside of you. You scream, back arching, body all but convulsing on his sheets. 

He thrusts his fingers in and out of you at a manic pace, sending your eyes rolling back, cunt clenching and unclenching wildly, trying to pull him in further, chasing the feeling. You don’t even register the way your hips are working back against his fingers, long since having fallen back onto your back. Your mind is utterly blank as you let yourself be consumed by him, his need, his desire, his jealousy to remind every God on the planet just whose follower you are. Whose bed you woke up. Whose bed you belong in. 

You come all over his fingers with a helpless scream of his name again, back arching, silver light filling your vision. You’re completely taken apart by him again, going limp against the bed as he finishes with you, pulling back with your cum on his lips and his fingers. Jongseong stands, licking his lips clean as he climbs into bed with you. 

“How naive you are,” he tells you, turning your head to look at him. You blink your eyes open to look at him, trying to catch your breath. “Those Gods would tear anyone apart to get a mortal of their own. But this one,” he touches the scars on your chest again, making you shudder, “it belongs to me. My pretty queen,” he coos, leaning down to kiss you. When he pulls back, you gently touch his cheek again. 

“You’d take me as your wife?” You ask and he smiles softly. 

“You are faithful and selfless. You are the embodiment of mercy, my dear,” he tells you, stroking his fingertips over your cheek. “You’ll become a Goddess yet.”

a/n: *the unprotected sex depicted is both purposeful and symbolic, engage in safe sex practices like condoms and contraceptives in real life. safe sex saves lives; this is a god concept i came up with myself, modeled after the greek pantheon but it's kind of a fusion between the pantheon and korean cultural gods so, suspend your disbelief. this was an idea i thought of and really wanted to play with and jay was so perfect! i hope you enjoyed it, this was a very visceral and yet abstract concept for me, i hope you understand!

taglist: @ducksstolemybread @raeofsnshne @pockettwinzz @emi-en @lilyuwon @deobitifull @oddracha @skzenhalove @nyfwyeonjun

♫︎ LILAC , P.JS

IN WHICH: you liked jay a lot, but your innocent crush soon spiraled into an obsession, blurring the line between fantasy and reality, as your thoughts twisted into something darker than you expected. GENRE: fluff, slightly dark (?). WARNING(S): obsession, stalking, mentions of accident, kissing, not proofread, lmk if I missed anything. WORD COUNT: 7.8k

LIKE THE FLOATING CLOUD — Changing schools wasn’t on your wishlist, but here you were. It had been a long time since you’d recovered from the accident, and life had thrown you yet another curveball—starting over in a new place. Just weeks ago, you'd woken up from a coma, expecting some form of respite from life’s relentless challenges. But the world doesn’t pause, does it? You were thrust into yet another whirlwind, this time, school. New faces, new halls, and new pressures to bear.

The morning sunlight gleamed off the freshly polished windows of the sprawling campus, casting reflections that danced across the pavement. The building loomed before you—its modern glass façade glimmering in stark contrast to the worn, familiar bricks of your old school. You stopped for a moment, taking in its sheer size. “Damn,” you muttered under your breath, barely aware of the words slipping from your mouth. “They have a better infrastructure than my previous school.”

Stepping inside, the scent of fresh paint and newly waxed floors hit you, a stark reminder of just how new everything was. The halls were alive with the buzz of students rushing to get to their first classes. Lockers slammed, sneakers squeaked against the tile floors, and the faint hum of conversation filled the air. You watched them—groups of friends laughing, others buried in their phones or textbooks, weaving through the maze of hallways like they’d been doing it forever.

It felt strange, seeing all this after months confined to the stillness of a hospital bed. A stark contrast to the sterile walls and cold, white lights you had grown so familiar with. The vibrant chaos of school was both overwhelming and comforting in a way. You stood there for a moment, just observing, soaking in the life you’d almost forgotten. The sight of students hurrying to their classes, backpacks bouncing against their shoulders, gave you a sense of normalcy. The halls were bright, lined with posters of school events, sports team victories, and upcoming dances—everything you’d missed out on for what felt like a lifetime.

You clutched the straps of your bag a little tighter, pulling it further up your shoulder, almost as if it would anchor you in this unfamiliar place. You could feel the faintest bit of nervous energy rising within you, the kind that makes your heart beat just a little faster. But you weren’t going to let it overwhelm you. Not today.

As you passed by a few students gathered in the corridor, you could hear bits of their conversation. “Did you finish the homework for Mr. Park's class?” one asked, flipping through her notebook. The other girl nodded, her head buried in a thick textbook. You glanced at them, envy prickling the edges of your mind. They belonged here, and you… well, you were still finding your place.

“Alright,” you whispered to yourself, straightening up and taking a deep breath. “New school, new start.” With one last glance at the crowded hallway, you made your way toward your first class, determined to make this day yours, no matter how alien everything felt.

HELLO, HELLO LIKE A PETAL — Not even a week into your new school, you saw him for the first time—the class president. You didn’t know his name yet, but something about him drew your attention. He moved with quiet confidence, guiding students through their doubts with ease, his voice calm, yet commanding. His presence was magnetic, the way he gestured with his hands as he explained a complex problem, or the soft smile he gave when someone finally understood.

“Do you like him?” Semi, the girl sitting next to you, nudged your arm gently, her teasing grin barely concealed behind her hand. You rolled your eyes but couldn’t fight the heat creeping up your neck. How could you like someone this early? It was ridiculous.

“I’ve never even seen him before today,” you muttered, pretending to focus on the scribbles in your notebook, though the lines blurred together as your thoughts wandered. “I don’t like him… not yet, at least.” You added a nervous chuckle, but your eyes refused to stray from him.

It wasn’t until he glanced back—straight at you—that your heart betrayed you, hammering against your chest as if it had been caught in the act. He walked over, each step deliberate, his posture straight and assured. You could feel Semi's gaze burning into the side of your face, her amusement at your sudden silence barely restrained.

“You haven’t submitted your assignment yet,” he said, his tone polite but firm, snapping you out of your daze. His eyes were kind, though, like he didn’t even notice the way your hands fumbled nervously with your pen as you nodded, barely able to form words.

“I’ll, uh, get that to you… soon,” you stammered, mentally kicking yourself. Of course, a guy like him wouldn’t even blink in your direction beyond official school matters. He was the class president, for crying out loud—probably too busy managing a thousand other things to even notice you.

As he turned to walk away, Semi was quick to jump in with a teasing whisper, “Girl, you’re down bad.” She let out a soft snicker as you glared at her, your heart still racing from the brief encounter.

Your eyes followed him despite yourself, as if they couldn’t tear away from the sight of him—his tall figure moving with that same effortless grace. It was just a simple conversation, nothing more than a sentence or two exchanged. But it left a mark, one that you knew would linger. Something about him seemed like a beacon, and you weren’t ready to look away.

“Well, that’s one way to make an impression,” you murmured to yourself, sighing quietly. It was ridiculous how so little could feel like so much.

LIKE THE SPRING BREEZE — You were still new at school, trying to adjust to the routine, but at least you had made one friend—Semi. She was your lifeline in this sea of unfamiliar faces, and with her by your side, school didn’t seem as daunting anymore. And then, there was Jay. You’d finally learned his name, not that it had been hard. He was popular, almost too popular.

One search of his Instagram, and you were greeted with hundreds of likes and comments from not just your school but people outside as well. He had that effortless charm, the kind that made people gravitate toward him. Maybe that was why you were crushing on him so hard—or maybe it was the way his smile seemed to light up the hallway whenever he passed by.

You found yourself scrolling through his feed late at night, learning everything you could without actually knowing him. You knew when his birthday was, how he liked his coffee, and what his favorite band was. And today, you decided to make a move, something small but hopefully memorable. You bought him a pastry, a cute little cupcake from the bakery down the street, wrapped it in a box with a neat little bow, and headed straight for his locker before school started.

Standing in front of his locker, you took a deep breath, placing the box inside. The nerves were eating you alive, but you didn’t want to back out now. Just as you turned around to leave, you froze. There he was. Jay, standing right behind you, his expression a mix of curiosity and confusion.

His voice broke the silence. “What are you doing?” He asked, his hand brushing against yours as he reached for the box. The contact sent a jolt up your spine, making your heart race even faster.

Your mouth went dry, but you managed to stammer out, “It’s your birthday, right? I, uh... got you these.” You held out the cupcake, your smile shaky as you tried to mask how flustered you were.

Jay blinked, glancing between you and the cupcake before offering a polite smile. “Thanks, but... do I know you?”

The words hit harder than they should have. You felt your heart drop into your stomach, the awkwardness thick in the air. He didn’t even know you? All this time, you’d been working up the courage to talk to him, and he didn’t even recognize you. Ouch. You forced a smile, trying to save face, but the sting of embarrassment was hard to shake off.

“We’re in the same class. I’m the new student,” you muttered, your voice a little quieter, hoping this wouldn’t be as humiliating as it felt.

Jay’s eyes widened slightly, realization dawning. “Oh, right. I must’ve forgotten. Sorry about that.” He gave you another smile, the kind that was polite but distant. “Thanks for this.” He held up the box, gave you a nod, and with that, he walked away, leaving you standing there with your pride in pieces.

You couldn’t help the frustrated sigh that escaped your lips as you watched him go. “Such a bastard,” you mumbled under your breath, though there wasn’t any real anger behind it. Just exasperation. Despite the awkwardness, you still found yourself drawn to him. How could you not? The way he walked, the way his shoulders moved with an effortless swagger—there was something about him that just pulled you in.

But then again, you weren’t the only one. You’d seen the way other girls looked at him, the way they’d flock to him like moths to a flame. You were just another admirer in a sea of them. And yet, here you were, feeling like this tiny interaction, awkward as it was, was something special. Maybe it was your first real conversation with him, but it was something.

LOVE RESEMBLES MISTY DREAMS — Love, for you, felt like one of those foggy dreams you have just before waking up—the kind where everything is hazy, but you can still remember the emotions. It was no longer just a feeling but a reality you crafted for yourself. Everything was deliberate, including the way you “accidentally” bumped into Jay in the hallways or “coincidentally” ended up in places where he usually went after school. Some might call it stalking, but you thought of it as strategic planning. After all, you just wanted to talk to him—get to know him.

And then, one day, you got your golden opportunity. How? You joined the History Club. You absolutely loathed history. Memorizing dates, names, and ancient events was the last thing you wanted to do, but none of that mattered when Jay was the club leader. You’d force yourself to endure it, just for a few moments with him.

Today was one of those long club meetings, the kind that dragged on forever as Jay led the discussion while you sat across the room, your eyes barely leaving him. The topic was something about ancient dynasties—honestly, you weren’t paying attention. Instead, you had focused on making your notes look as neat and perfect as possible, hoping to catch his eye with the colorful highlighters and meticulous doodles. When you finished, you slid over to where he was sitting, your heart hammering in your chest.

“Jay, how does this look?” you asked, handing over your notebook with a hopeful smile.

Jay barely glanced at the notes before his brows furrowed in confusion. “It’s... nice. But, um, you shouldn’t have used so many highlighters. It’s kinda hard to read with all the colors.” His tone was polite, but it still stung a little. Semi, who was sitting beside you, covered her mouth to hide her laughter, shaking her head as she continued working on her own notes.

“Oh... okay.” You tried not to let your disappointment show, but it was hard. Your enthusiasm had deflated like a balloon, and the frown tugging at your lips was a clear giveaway. Trying to keep your cool, you casually pulled out a small, wrapped box from your bag and slid it toward him, as if this were a completely normal thing to do.

Semi’s eyes widened, her shock evident. She was always amused by how bold you were when it came to Jay, but this—this was a new level. Jay blinked in confusion, his gaze flickering between you and the box now in front of him.

“What’s this for?” he asked, a small crease forming on his forehead. He picked up the box, turning it over in his hands as if trying to figure out why you’d given it to him.

You swallowed nervously. “I, uh, made some cookies for you.”

There. You said it. No going back now. You could practically hear Semi holding back her laugh, but you didn’t dare look at her. Your eyes were glued to Jay, waiting for his reaction. He stared at the box for a moment, looking almost... awkward. His smile was tight, as if he didn’t quite know how to handle the situation.

“Oh... thanks,” he said, his voice uncertain, like he was trying to be nice but wasn’t sure how to accept this gesture. He shifted his weight, glancing around the room as if searching for an escape route, and that small gesture hit you harder than you expected.

Your heart sank. The realization washed over you like a cold wave—he wasn’t interested. He probably had girls giving him gifts all the time, and you were just another admirer in the crowd. The worst part? He was too polite to brush you off outright, which only made you feel worse. The room began to clear out, and soon, it was just the two of you left, the silence hanging heavy between you.

You fiddled with the edge of your notebook, finally breaking the quiet with a question you dreaded asking but couldn’t keep inside any longer. “Do I... do I annoy you?”

Jay’s head snapped up at your words, his eyes wide with surprise. “What? No! Of course not.”

But you could tell from the way his smile didn’t reach his eyes that he wasn’t telling the whole truth. He was trying to be kind, but his discomfort was impossible to ignore. You forced a smile, but the hurt still crept into your voice.

“It’s fine,” you muttered, waving it off as if it didn’t matter. As if your heart wasn’t breaking a little.

Jay hesitated, his fingers tightening around the box of cookies you had given him. He looked almost guilty now, as if he knew how much his reaction had affected you. Without saying anything, he opened the box and took one of the heart-shaped cookies, biting into it quietly. You watched as he chewed slowly, his gaze drifting to the floor.

The silence that followed felt heavy, awkward, and filled with all the unsaid things that lingered in the air between you. It wasn’t much, but seeing him eat the cookies you made—even though you knew they weren’t going to change anything—was enough to make you feel a small flicker of hope again, even if just for a moment.

I LIKE THE SCENT OF TODAY — As if life had its own twisted way of pulling strings, you eventually grew closer to Jay—or at least, that’s what you told yourself. Bonding over history wasn’t something you ever anticipated, but somehow, there you were. It had been five months. Five months of stolen glances, hushed conversations, and countless moments where you felt your heart skip a beat just from being near him.

Five months of wondering why Jay didn’t push you away. Despite knowing your feelings, he had never told you to stop. Sure, you had followed him home once or twice—okay, maybe more than once. But the strange thing was, he noticed. He noticed and he never did anything to stop you. Instead, he fed your one-sided affection with smiles that lingered a bit too long and conversations that bordered on intimate. It confused you. Sometimes you wondered why he acted as if he was leading you on, yet at other times, it felt like he was just being kind out of some sort of obligation.

You remembered one afternoon clearly. It was just the two of you in the History Club room. The other members had gone out for a break, and the quiet settled between you like a soft, suffocating blanket. Jay was engrossed in some text about ancient civilizations, flipping through the pages with a look of calm concentration. You, on the other hand, couldn’t focus. Your eyes kept drifting toward him, your mind racing with the questions you had been holding in for weeks.

“Jay? Stop talking about historical monuments,” you muttered softly, breaking the silence. You’d lost track of how long he’d been going on about some ancient ruin. Normally, you’d let him talk—it was one of the things you liked about him. But today was different. There was something bubbling inside you, a feeling that couldn’t be ignored any longer.

Jay blinked, startled by your interruption. He looked up from his book, his dark eyes meeting yours with a curious glint. “Oh?” he asked, his voice tinged with confusion. He set the book aside, leaning back in his chair, and raised an eyebrow. “Then, what do you want to talk about?”

Before you could respond, he casually reached out, gripping the arm of your chair and pulling it closer to his. The sudden movement caught you off guard, and now your knees almost brushed his. You felt a blush creeping up your neck, your heart fluttering in your chest as you looked down, avoiding his gaze.

But you had to ask. You had to know. Swallowing your nerves, you looked back up at him, eyes searching his for some kind of answer. “Jay? Why are you doing this?”

He frowned, clearly not understanding what you meant. “Doing what?” he asked, his tone casual, but you could tell he was puzzled. His gaze flickered to the small, wrapped gift boxes and notes that littered his desk—tokens of affection from his admirers, yourself included. You watched his eyes settle on the trinkets, as if they might hold the answer.

You followed his gaze, feeling a knot of frustration tightening in your chest. “Accepting my gifts, I mean… and talking to me,” you clarified, your voice quieter now, but firm. You hated the way your heart felt heavy, as if you were bracing for a truth you didn’t want to hear. “Why do you talk to me like this? Why do you make me feel like there’s something between us?”

Jay seemed taken aback by your bluntness. He glanced back at you, a small, almost imperceptible sigh escaping his lips as he looked away again, his fingers tracing the edge of the nearest gift box. “Oh, that… they were nice,” he muttered after a moment, his tone flat.

Nice? That was it? You felt the sting of his words, the casual way he dismissed what meant so much to you. “That’s the only reason?” you asked, frowning as you leaned back slightly, feeling the weight of disappointment settle in.

“Yeah.” His response came without hesitation, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Your frustration simmered, but more than that, there was a growing ache in your chest. How could he be so oblivious? You stood up, pushing your chair back with a scrape that echoed through the empty room. “Jay, don’t you think someone might not give this kind of stuff to just a friend?” You didn’t care if you sounded angry now—hell, you were angry. Angry, hurt, and confused.

Jay met your gaze, his expression unreadable. He didn’t flinch. “I know.”

You blinked, your frown deepening. “You know?” The words felt like a punch, your hands balling into fists at your sides. “Then why are you leading me on?”

Jay lowered his head, his hair falling slightly over his eyes as he let out another sigh. His voice was quieter when he spoke, tinged with something that almost sounded like regret. “I know that you like me,” he admitted. “But… I don’t think I want to love anyone anytime soon.”

You froze, the air between you thick with unsaid words. The way he said it was like a door closing—a gentle but firm rejection. He wasn’t even trying to keep you there, to stop you from walking out. He just sat there, looking down, his hands resting on the table as if he didn’t know what to do with them.

Your heart squeezed painfully in your chest, but then curiosity took over. “Why not?” you asked, stepping closer. The hurt was still there, but now there was something else—an ache to understand. “Why don’t you want to love someone?”

Jay looked up, his eyes meeting yours for just a moment before they darted away again. He hesitated, his voice barely above a whisper when he finally spoke. “I’m afraid of loving someone… and getting hurt.”

His words hung in the air, and for a moment, you didn’t know what to say. There was a vulnerability in his tone that made you hesitate, but you pushed that aside. Instead, you took a deep breath, letting the silence stretch for a moment before you stepped even closer, a sudden idea forming in your mind.

“Then…” You paused, feeling the weight of your words. “How about you date me until graduation? And once the spring comes, we’ll part ways.” You smiled softly, the sadness lingering behind it as you met his eyes again. “Love me only until this spring.”

Jay’s eyes widened slightly, surprised by your proposal. You could see the conflict in his gaze, the way he wanted to say no but hesitated. He looked down at the pile of gifts again, his fingers brushing the edge of one of the boxes before he finally sighed, shaking his head softly.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he murmured, his voice unsure.

You bit your lip, stepping even closer. “Oh, c’mon! Please?” You knew how desperate you sounded, how much like a lovestruck fool you must’ve appeared. But you didn’t care. You couldn’t let this chance slip away—not when you were this close.

Jay looked up at you, really looked at you this time. His eyes searched yours for something, and after a long pause, he let out a resigned sigh. “Fine,” he muttered, his voice soft but clear. “I’ll love you… only until this spring.”

And as he spoke, he gazed at you, his expression unreadable as his eyes flickered to the gifts on his desk—reminders of the fleeting nature of the affection people offered him. You couldn’t help but wonder if, just maybe, this was the start of something that could last longer than a single season.

LOVE ME ONLY ‘TIL THIS SPRING — Spring had barely begun to unfurl its vibrant colors, but you already felt the weight of an unspoken clock ticking down. Two months remained until graduation, and with it, the end of your deal with Jay—no strings, no lasting attachments, just a fleeting experience of dating. But for you, it was never just that. You had been attached long before this "spring romance" ever started, yet here you were, clinging to his arm like a lifeline, trying to savor each moment despite the cold reality of an expiration date.

Walking down the crowded hallway, your grip on his arm tightened. The judgmental glances from other students followed you both, sharp and filled with disdain, as though they couldn't understand why Jay, the untouchable, mysterious boy, was with you. You knew the looks well—they stung, but they didn’t surprise you. This whole thing was supposed to be temporary, just a silly experiment. Yet, the knot in your chest told a different story. You were already in too deep.

Jay, on the other hand, remained indifferent. His usual stoic expression hadn't changed much since the two of you began this strange arrangement. He didn't stop you from holding his hand, from clinging to his arm, but he didn’t make any gestures that suggested anything deeper. He had agreed to this—dating until spring, no more, no less—but you couldn’t help but wonder: Was this all just a façade?

“Don’t you dare hurt her.” Semi, your friend, shot Jay a warning glance as the two of you passed by her near the lockers. The sharpness in her voice cut through the haze of your thoughts, bringing you back to reality. You almost winced at her words, remembering how you’d bragged about dating Jay. What would she say if she knew this was all temporary?

Jay glanced down at you, sensing your discomfort, and squeezed your hand gently. It was a small gesture, but one that momentarily eased your embarrassment. For a second, you allowed yourself to imagine that this wasn’t just for show, that maybe—just maybe—he felt something too.

The walk home after school was quiet, as usual. Jay walked beside you, his hands in his pockets, while you clutched your bag, the silence between you growing heavier with each step. Even though you had been dating for a month, it was nothing like the relationships you’d imagined. There were no sweet goodnight texts, no surprise visits, no real affection beyond holding hands. He never let you into his world—into his home or his heart.

Finally, when you reached the school gates, you couldn’t hold it in any longer. The words spilled out before you could stop them.

“Jay...” You called his name softly, biting your lip, your hand clutching your bag tighter.

He turned to you, his expression unreadable. “Mm?” was all he hummed in response, his voice low and casual.

You felt your heart race, unsure if you were being too bold or foolish, but you pressed on. “Can you kiss me?” The words came out rushed, your face heating up instantly. You almost couldn’t believe what you’d just said. “I mean—I'm your girlfriend, right... So, can you kiss me? A peck is fine too.”

Jay froze, blinking in surprise. His eyes widened slightly as if he hadn’t expected such a request from you. “Huh?” He coughed, nearly choking on his breath, clearly caught off guard by your sudden boldness. The corner of his lips twitched as though he wasn’t sure if he should laugh or be serious.

You immediately regretted it, feeling your face burn even more. The silence that followed felt agonizing. You could practically hear your own heart pounding in your chest. “Nevermind,” you mumbled, waving it off as you turned away, your shoulders slumping in defeat. Why did I say that? Embarrassment flooded through you, and you started to walk ahead, putting distance between the two of you.

But then, before you could take more than two steps, you felt a sudden tug on your wrist. Jay had grabbed you from behind, his hand firm yet gentle as he pulled you back toward him. You barely had time to turn around before he was there—his lips crashing onto yours.

The kiss was sudden, forceful, and filled with an intensity you hadn’t anticipated. His lips were soft, warm against yours, but there was something almost desperate in the way he kissed you, as if he was letting out something he had been holding back for too long. You were momentarily stunned, eyes wide in shock, but your body responded instinctively, your hands coming up to gently hold onto his shirt for support.

Jay's other hand slid to the back of your neck, his touch delicate but firm, pulling you closer as though he needed to feel your presence, to make the moment real. The world around you seemed to blur, the whispers of students, the hum of cars in the distance—all of it faded as the kiss deepened. You could feel your heartbeat hammering in your chest, but it wasn’t just because of the kiss—it was the realization that, in this brief moment, something shifted. This wasn’t the kiss of someone merely fulfilling a temporary deal.

After what felt like an eternity, Jay slowly pulled back, his breath warm against your lips. He gazed down at you, his usual calm demeanor replaced by something softer, more vulnerable. His hand lingered on your wrist for a second longer, as if he wasn’t quite ready to let go.

“I... I didn’t expect that,” you breathed out, still dazed from the kiss, your cheeks flushed as you stared up at him.

Jay didn’t say anything for a moment, his eyes searching yours, as if debating whether to speak or to leave things unsaid. Finally, he muttered, “You asked for it.”

You laughed softly, shaking your head. “I didn’t think you’d actually do it.”

He shrugged, his lips quirking up in a faint smile, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Maybe I wanted to.” His voice was low, almost as if he hadn’t meant for you to hear it.

For a moment, you stood there, staring at each other, the weight of the unspoken emotions between you heavy in the air. Maybe this spring wasn’t just a fleeting experience. Maybe, just maybe, something real was growing between the two of you. But neither of you dared to say it aloud.

THE DAY THE LILAC FLOWERS FALL — The weekend sun shone brightly, casting a golden hue over the bustling streets as you wandered aimlessly with Semi by your side. It was a rare day of freedom, a chance to escape from the chaos of school and simply relax. Laughter filled the air as the two of you shared stories and jokes, weaving through the crowd in search of the next spot to explore.

But then, everything shifted in an instant.

Distracted by Semi's teasing, you hadn’t noticed the tall figure walking toward you until it was too late. Your shoulder brushed against his, and before you knew it, the man was glaring down at you with a look that sent a shiver down your spine. “Sorry,” you muttered quickly, lowering your head in hopes that your apology would be enough to diffuse the situation.

It wasn’t.

“Girls like you always do this.” His voice was a low, menacing growl, filled with disdain. His eyes narrowed dangerously as he suddenly reached out, grabbing your wrists with a force that made you wince. The sudden, painful grip startled you, your breath catching in your throat as fear surged through your veins.

Semi, ever the protective friend, immediately rushed forward. “Hey, let go of her!” she demanded, her voice firm despite the obvious tension. But even she hesitated slightly, clearly aware of how much stronger the guy was.

You struggled against his hold, trying to pull away, but his grip only tightened, making you feel more trapped with each passing second. Panic set in, and just as you were about to call out for help, a blur of movement caught your eye.

A sharp, powerful punch connected with the man’s face, and the sound echoed in your ears, causing everyone around to freeze. You gasped as you realized who had thrown the punch—Jay.

Your eyes widened as you watched in stunned silence. Jay had appeared out of nowhere, and now, he was standing protectively in front of you, his fists clenched and his expression dark, far more intense than you’d ever seen before. The guy stumbled back, groaning in pain, but Jay wasn’t done. He lunged forward, landing another punch, and then another, each hit more brutal than the last.

“Jay, stop!” you cried out, rushing toward him, your heart pounding wildly in your chest. You had never seen him like this before, this fierce and angry. He was relentless, and the guy, now bleeding and terrified, tried to shield himself, but Jay didn’t let up.

You reached out, grabbing onto Jay’s arm from behind, desperately trying to pull him away. “Jay, please!” you pleaded, your voice shaky. “That’s enough. Please…”

At your touch, Jay finally froze. His body stiffened as if suddenly aware of what he had done. The guy on the receiving end of his punches scrambled to his feet and fled, not daring to look back, his face bloodied and bruised. You stood there, still gripping Jay’s arm, your breath shaky as you tried to process what had just happened.

Before you could say anything else, Jay turned toward you. In an instant, his arms wrapped around you, pulling you into his chest. The suddenness of it made your heart skip a beat. His embrace was tight, protective, almost as if he was trying to shield you from the world. One of his hands gently stroked your hair, his touch surprisingly tender considering the fury that had consumed him moments before.

“You could’ve gotten hurt,” he muttered, his voice low and filled with concern as he buried his face into your hair, breathing deeply as if needing to calm himself down.

You stood there in his arms, completely speechless. This wasn’t the Jay you were used to—the distant, indifferent guy who rarely showed emotion. This was different. The way he held you, the way he had rushed to your side without hesitation… it felt real, it felt genuine. For the first time, he felt like a real boyfriend, and the warmth that spread through you at that realization was almost overwhelming.

Your heart pounded in your chest, and you couldn’t help but smile as you wrapped your arms around him in return, hugging him tightly. His scent, the warmth of his body pressed against yours, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat—it all made you feel safe, like nothing in the world could hurt you as long as he was there. You wanted to stay in that moment forever.

But then, of course, Semi broke the silence with a loud, exaggerated cough. You could hear the barely-contained giggles bubbling up in her throat, and when you looked over, she was smirking, clearly enjoying the display of "live romance" that had unfolded before her eyes.

You felt a rush of embarrassment flood through you, your cheeks heating up as you quickly pulled away from Jay’s embrace, though part of you didn’t really want to let go. Jay cleared his throat, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck as he glanced between you and Semi.

“Um…” you started, but you weren’t even sure what to say. How could you even begin to explain all of this?

Semi, however, wasn’t going to let you off that easily. She raised an eyebrow, her lips curving into a mischievous grin. “Well, that was… something,” she teased, folding her arms across her chest. “Didn’t know Jay had it in him to be a knight in shining armor.”

Jay rolled his eyes, though there was a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “I wasn’t trying to be anything,” he muttered under his breath, but his hand found its way to yours again, fingers intertwining with yours in a gesture that felt so natural, it made your heart flutter.

“You definitely looked the part,” Semi added, winking at you. “Seriously though, you okay? That guy was a creep.”

You nodded, still a little shaken but grateful. “Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks to Jay.” You glanced up at him, unable to hide the soft smile on your face. He looked down at you, his expression unreadable for a moment before he gave your hand a gentle squeeze.

“Good,” he said quietly, his eyes lingering on you for just a second longer. There was something in his gaze, something unspoken that made you wonder if this moment had changed things between you two—if maybe, just maybe, this wasn’t just for show anymore.

CLIMAX OF OUR WHITE SPRING DAYS — Graduation day had arrived like a ticking clock you couldn’t silence. The weight of finality pressed down on you, making it hard to breathe. You stood in the sea of students, watching the world pass by in slow motion as the sun bathed everything in warm light, but inside, you felt cold.

Your fingers fidgeted with the edge of your gown as you glanced over at him—Jay—standing with his friends, laughing about something that seemed distant and unreachable. The end of your three-month dating experiment loomed over you like a dark cloud. It wasn’t just the end of school. It was the end of him, of being close to him, even if it was just pretend.

“Go talk to him.” Semi’s voice broke through the haze as she nudged you, her eyes filled with that encouraging spark she always had. But you didn’t move. How could you? You weren’t his girlfriend anymore, not even in the superficial way you'd been for these past few months.

You had no right to approach him.

Your chest tightened as you tried to steady your breath, but your eyes betrayed you, drifting back to him once more. The laughter, the movement, the noise—it all blurred, dimming around the edges until it seemed like everyone was fading away, disappearing like smoke in the wind. And then there was just him.

Only him.

The background turned white, stark and empty. The vividness of the graduation, the bright colors of everyone’s robes and caps, the cheerful chaos—all of it vanished, leaving you standing in this surreal silence.

Jay stood alone now, the only one left in this strange world that suddenly felt more dream than reality. He started walking toward you, every step deliberate, but there was something different—something ethereal.

You blinked, unsure of what you were seeing. There was a faint shimmer behind him, something soft and luminous, like wings. Wings? You blinked again, and there they were, delicate and translucent, fluttering gently with each step he took. His face was calm, serene, almost unrecognizable from the boy you'd dated. He was... otherworldly.

Your heart pounded in your chest, confusion twisting through you. “What…?” you muttered to yourself, trying to make sense of it, but nothing made sense anymore.

Jay stopped in front of you, his gaze soft and yet so intense, locking onto yours with an emotion you couldn’t place. Slowly, as if afraid he might shatter the moment, he reached up and grazed his fingers across your cheek, his touch light as a feather.

“You need to wake up now,” he whispered, his voice deeper, gentler than you'd ever heard before. “It’s been too long since you’ve been in the dark.”

His words cut through you, leaving you more confused than ever. Wake up? What did that mean? What darkness was he talking about?

You flinched at his touch, stepping back as your breath hitched. “What are you saying?” The tremor in your voice betrayed your panic. You looked around, desperate to find something familiar, something to cling to. But all you could see was the white, stretching endlessly around you. You couldn’t make sense of anything. Nothing was real.

Your hands flew to your head as a sudden pain pulsed in your temples. Flashes of light blinked before your eyes—images you couldn’t fully grasp, memories or maybe dreams, flashing too fast for you to catch. You dropped to your knees, the weight of it all crashing down on you, confusion and frustration mixing until you couldn’t breathe.

“I don’t—” Your voice cracked as you clawed at the air, scratching your head as if trying to tear away the confusion. “What’s happening?”

The ground felt soft beneath you, like clouds, but the pressure in your chest grew tighter, heavier, as if the world itself was closing in.

Jay knelt down beside you, his movements slow and calm, his eyes filled with something deep, something almost tender. He reached for you again, but you flinched, not wanting to feel the foreignness of his touch.

“Shhh,” he whispered softly, his voice like a lullaby, as his hand hovered over your head. He didn't push. He simply waited, his presence both grounding and terrifying at once. You wanted to push him away, to demand answers, but at the same time, a strange comfort wrapped around you, like a blanket in the middle of a storm.

The world flickered around you, the white light growing brighter, almost blinding.

Jay leaned closer, his face inches from yours. “It’s time to say goodnight,” he murmured, his breath warm against your skin. Before you could protest, before you could even think, he pressed a soft, lingering kiss to your forehead, his lips gentle and reassuring.

And then, just as quickly as he had appeared, the world around you shifted. The soft white light began to darken, curling at the edges, growing darker and darker until it swallowed everything whole. The last thing you felt was Jay’s warmth before it, too, faded into the blackness. You were alone.

Your breath hitched, and you closed your eyes as the darkness wrapped around you like a heavy blanket, pulling you under.

THE END OF LILAC SPRING — The world felt like it was spinning, even though you were lying still. Blinding light from the overhead lamp above your hospital bed seeped into your barely-open eyes, burning your retinas. The persistent beep of a heart monitor echoed in the room, in time with the erratic pounding of your heart. But the voice that broke through it all— Semi's voice—was frantic, pulling you back to the surface.

“Wake up! Wake up!”

Your eyelids fluttered open fully, only to meet the concerned face of your best friend, Semi. Her hands hovered just above your blanket-covered arms, as if afraid to touch you. Her wide eyes, framed by disheveled strands of hair, looked both relieved and shaken. This wasn’t the Semi you’d known for years. There was something different about her—something less familiar, almost like she was a stranger. And that strange feeling twisted in your chest like a knife.

You blinked, trying to adjust to the light, to the sudden rush of sensations hitting you all at once—the smell of antiseptic, the sound of footsteps outside the door, the faint chatter of doctors and nurses.

But none of that mattered. Where was Jay?

“W-where’s Jay?” you gasped out, sitting up too quickly, causing a sharp tug on the tubes attached to your arms. You barely registered the IV drip dangling beside you or the oxygen clip on your finger. Your mind was racing, your heart thundering against your ribcage as you searched the sterile, white room. He had to be here. He always was.

Semi blinked, her brows knitting together in confusion. “Jay?” she echoed, her voice hesitant as she sat down on the chair beside your hospital bed, shifting uncomfortably. You could see the confusion written all over her face, like she was trying to solve a puzzle but missing the pieces.

Your heart lurched. Why wasn’t she answering? Why wasn’t he here?

“Jay!” you nearly shouted this time, the panic rising in your throat, making your voice crack. “The class leader! He was in the history club too—he was my boyfriend!” Your words tumbled out, desperate, almost pleading with her to remember.

But Semi’s expression only grew more puzzled, her lips parting slightly as if trying to find the right words. She didn’t know him.

“There’s no Jay,” she said, her voice flat, her eyes searching yours as if waiting for a reaction. “What are you even talking about? You’ve been in a coma for almost a year, and the first thing you ask about is some guy?”

Her words hit you like a punch to the gut. No Jay? No Jay?! You stared at her, wide-eyed, the room tilting dangerously around you. Your breath caught in your throat, and you glanced around again, your head pounding as if your brain couldn’t process what she was saying. You could barely hear the doctors' voices outside, your parents’ relieved murmurs from the corner of the room.

“I—I don’t understand.” Your voice trembled, and your fingers clutched the thin hospital blanket in a white-knuckled grip. How could Jay not exist? How could she not know him when every single day had been filled with him? “We were together, Semi. He was real. He was real!”

But Semi wasn’t budging. She leaned back, crossing her arms, frustration flickering in her eyes. “You were in a car accident. Do you remember that?” she asked, her voice softening slightly, though there was still a hint of disbelief. “A car crash. Blood everywhere. That’s why you’ve been in a coma.” Her voice dropped to a whisper as her eyes flickered to the tubes attached to your body. “That’s why you’re here.”

Your body went cold. A coma? Blood? The words bounced around in your head, but they didn’t stick. Your hands trembled as they reached for the bed’s railing, trying to anchor yourself. You could still feel Jay’s presence, still remember his smile, his touch, the way he’d whispered goodnight to you... before everything went dark.

A cold shiver ran down your spine, and your throat tightened as you managed to ask, “W-what date is it?”

“September 20, 2024,” Semi replied, her voice barely audible, but it hit you like a tidal wave. September.

Your eyes widened as the pieces began to fall apart in your mind, crumbling like ash in your hands. The school year, the three months with Jay, the spring—none of it had been real. None of it.

Tears welled up in your eyes as the weight of it all settled in your chest like a boulder, pressing down, squeezing the air from your lungs. A quiet tear slipped down your cheek, and you quickly wiped it away, turning to look out the window as if the outside world could give you some semblance of reality.

Beyond the glass, the sky was painted in soft shades of pink and orange, the setting sun casting a warm glow over everything. Lilac flowers fluttered from a nearby tree, caught in the gentle breeze. They swirled in the air, delicate and fleeting, just like the memories of Jay.

You watched them fall, your heart aching with a bittersweet pang. Was it all just a dream? Had Jay been nothing more than a figment of your comatose mind, created to fill the emptiness while you lay in the dark? The thought was unbearable, but the more you tried to hold onto him, the more he slipped away—like the lilac petals, fading from your reach.

But somewhere deep inside, beneath the confusion and pain, a small part of you hoped—hoped that he was real. That maybe, somewhere, in some other world, Jay existed, waiting with that final page of your story. And though you couldn’t be sure, you held onto that hope, because the goodbye—his goodnight—had been too sweet, too tender to be nothing at all.

With trembling hands, you let the last tear fall, watching as the petals danced in the wind, disappearing into the horizon. Even if it was just a dream, you wished for one more chapter—one more part in the story that had been left unfinished.

© enreveriee | tumblr

DAY 23 — MUTUAL MASTURBATION

PAIRING: stepbrother!jay x fem!reader

GENRE: smut, stepcest, masturbation, fingering, pillow humping, dick licking, cum eating.

WARNINGS: smut

KINKTOBER 2023

everything started when you were young, you father had left and your mom was alone with you. even tho it was only both you, you complement each other perfectly. it had always been your mom and you, best friends.

until one they your mom feel in love with a wealthy man and decided to get marry. he had a son two years older than you, his mom died giving birth to him so it was only the two of them.

the day you meet your new stepbrother, Jay, you got along with him pretty well. both of you had a lot of things in common and liked to play soccer, so you adapted to him very well.

that was when you were eleven.

while growing up you realized that Jay was having a few changes in his body. his voice got deeper, he grew a few inches taller, and his features began to become more handsome.

while you, you grew a a little (really little) inches taller, your ass and breasts become bigger, and the worst part. you got your period.

when you were 14 you started to pay more attention to Jay, you knew that it wasn’t totally correctly. but there was something on him that was so attractive in your eyes.

maybe his sharp jaw, his beautiful eyes, his veiny hands with long fingers. you didn’t know why, but Jay was hot as fuck.

now you were 18, and your parents had go to a trip on the beach celebrating his 8th anniversary. and Jay, Jay was out with his friends.

you were on your bed, watching instagram reels trying to be less bore than you were. when suddenly, a video of two girls kissing on a bar appeared on your scream. you weren’t a lesbian, but you had to admit it. lesbian porn was the best.

you watched the video a few times, looking closely on how the girls were kissing and how their hands were traveling around their tits and thighs. you didn’t even notice when your own hand was traveling directly to your pussy, putting the pink panties aside.

one of your fingers traveled up and down your slit, collecting all you juices to finally make circles on your clit. you moaned softly, imagining jay’s fingers instead of yours. thinking that was so wrong, but it felt so good.

you got your pants and panties off, throwing them somewhere on your room. you took one of your favorites pillows to do this things, placing it between your things and moving your hips back and forth. one on your hands tilted up your shirt a little, exposing your pretty tits and pinching one of your hard nipples.

you couldn’t stop thinking about jay.

Jay, jay, jay, jay…

how would it feel to ride his cock, how would his mouth would feel around your nipples, on your pussy, how his long slender fingers would stretch you so deliciously, and obviously, how big his dick would look on your mouth.

“oh~ jay” you moaned. “i’m gonna cum”

you started to ride your pillow faster and faster. pinching your nipples with one hand while the other one was doing circles on your clit.

“fuck, fuck, fuck, jay” you gasped.

you were just about to cum, when suddenly…

“y/n, i’m he—” he said opening you door.

“holy shit! jay!” you screamed, trying to cover your exposed body with the sheets of your bed.

“why were you screaming my name!? i thought you knew i was home and that you were calling me” he said.

“i was thinking about y— I though you were already home, yes” you said, why wasn’t he leaving your room.

“and why are you naked?” he asked scanning you body.

“i just— i was…” you tried to justify yourself.

“wait. you were screaming my name, and i found you half naked, riding a pillow. were you touching yourself thinking about me?” he said with a smirk.

“what!?” you exclaimed. “no, no, i just—”

“yes you were” he said closing the door behind him and getting closer to you. “did you got the chance to cum? or did i interrupted on the best part?

“Jay, what the actual fuck is wrong with you?” you said.

“no, y/n. what the actual fuck is wrong with you? he said emphasizing the last words. “what a pervert stepsister do i have. do you thing this is the first time i hear you moaning my name?”

oh. shit.

jay was so close to your, his lips almost touching yours.

“do you need help to finish, pretty?” he said giving you a peck on your lips.

this was wrong, like, extremely wrong. but you were super horny, and you have wanted jay for so long.

“if you tell mom and dad i swear to god i will kill you” your told him, looking directly into his eyes.

“promise” he said.

jay got even more closer to you, getting off your body the sheets of your bed, leaving you completely exposed for him. he took one of his fingers s place it in your wet soaking pussy, sliding it up and down your slit.

he stayed like that for a few minutes, painfully teasing your pussy. you could see that you weren’t the only one getting excited, because the big erection you could see through his pants was almost begging for attention.

“take you pants off” you said breathless. “i want to make you feel good too”

jay took his pants down his ankles, leaving only his boxers that were taken off seconds later. you knew his cock was pretty, it was the perfect size and shape.

now, you were fully lying down in the bed. jay was kneel down right next to you, with his cock over your tits and one of his hand on your pussy.

You began to pull his cock slowly, feeling his entire length in your hand while he made pleasurable circles on your clit. Jay inserted his middle finger into your pussy, feeling your wet walls clench around his digit. Then he put another finger into your cunt, stretching it in an incredible way, opening and closing his fingers, moving them in a spectacular form. and you, you were pulling his cock harder and harder every time.

Moans couldn't stop coming out of your mouth, Jay was good with his fingers. His cock was so close to your mouth that all you wanted to do was lick it.

you could hear the little whimpers and moans coming from jay's mouth, they were music to your ears. Jay started moving his fingers faster than before, adding circular movements to your clit with his thumb. At this point, it wouldn't take long for you to cum very soon. But at the same time, you also wanted Jay to have his first orgasm with you, so you massage his tip to finally give him a lick all over his dick.

“fuck, do that again and i’m gonna cum” he said.

“cum on my face” you told him.

you licked his dick again and after a few more strokes him cummed all over your face and tits. you opened your mouth, tasting the white liquid that you always wanted to take.

and before you knew, you were also cumming hard on jay’ s hand. moaning his name and finally getting some released. jay took his fingers out of your pussy and put them into his mouth, licking them in a sensual ways, tasting your juices.

“thanks god mom and dad won’t be around for a while” he said with a smirk.

ENHA HYUNG LINE SMAU/SERIES RECS !

・❥・ Heeseung Lee

hate that - @heesplanet (heeseung x fem!reader)

sugar daddy - @jayflrt (heeseung x fem!reader)

children of divorce - @sankyeom (heeseung x kim y/n)

nevertheless - @postalenha (jay x fem!reader x heeseung)

revelations - @seungstarss (bad boy!heeseung x fem!reader)

don’t stereotype me! - @en-logs (fboy!heeseung x fem!reader)

adrenaline rush - @seungstarss (enha hyung line! x reader)

cheating on you - @nekkodiaries (sunghoon x fem!reader x heeseung)

uni love - @enhas-bestie (heeseung x fem!reader)

bet - @seungstarss (enha hyung line! x fem!reader)

・❥・ Jay Park

deuce - @ddeonuism (volleyball player!jay x fem volleyball player!reader)

blitzed confessions - @heessseungi (jay x fem!reader ft heeseung)

nevertheless - @postalenha (jay x fem!reader x heeseung)

bet - @seungstarss (enha hyung line! x fem!reader)

we were friends once - @haechanhues (02z line x fem!reader)

jungwon’s noona - @oddeonu (02z line x fem!reader)

adrenaline rush - @seungstarss (enha hyung line! x reader)

・❥・ Jake Sim

love? love! fighting !! - @theebaragi (jake x fem!reader)

we were friends once - @haechanhues (02z line x fem!reader)

adrenaline rush - @seungstarss (enha hyung line! x reader)

bet - @seungstarss (enha hyung line! x fem!reader)

the fake boyfriend - @markxdino (jake x fem!reader)

yours truly - @simjyun (fboy!jake x fem!reader)

jungwon’s noona - @oddeonu (02z line x fem!reader)

・❥・ Sunghoon Park

latte - @enhypenisnotforsale (sunghoon x gn!reader)

mail - @enhypenisnotforsale (sunghoon x fem!reader)

behind the scenes - @liliansun (sunghoon x fem!reader)

cheating on you - @nekkodiaries (sunghoon x fem!reader x heeseung)

you maniac ! - @i-kai (sunghoon x reader)

jungwon’s noona - @oddeonu (02z line x fem!reader)

we were friends once - @haechanhues (02z line x fem!reader)

my accidental demon roommate - @ddeonuism (demon!sunghoon x human!fem!reader)

adrenaline rush - @seungstarss (enha hyung line! x reader)

bet - @seungstarss (enha hyung line ! x fem!reader)

twitch rivals - @soobnny (streamer!sunghoon x fem!reader)

✎ these are some of my favourite smau’s/series for enhypen’s hyung line !! i’ll make one for the maknae line soon :) please support the authors on this list <3

does anyone know the name of this smau- i lost the masterlist and i forgot what it’s called😭😭 it was a jay smau and like it was an acting au where the reader and him were like the starring roles but jay had a girlfriend which was ryujin- jay was like a youtuber i think and the reader was a famous actor HELP