Note To Self: One Day You Wont Feel The Need To Escape Your Reality. You Will Want To Be In It, To Embrace

note to self: one day you won’t feel the need to escape your reality. you will want to be in it, to embrace it fully.

Old paintings 🫶🏻

whoever this is you’re weird as hell for copying my own words about Hanji onto an INSTAGRAM caption 😭 like you really couldn’t come up w a caption by yourself…… yall really don’t let anything I produce be sacred to this blog huh

SKIN – 정윤호

synopsis . in which yunho soothes you after your boyfriend breaks up with you.

pairing . jeong yunho & fem! reader

genre . fluff, angst, lovers to exes (reader with her bf), friends to lovers?, non idol!au

taglist . @bro-atz @purplenimsicle @vampzity @iykyunho @yyaurii | comment your username if you wanna be added to my permanent taglist! ♡

word count . 2,4k

DISCLAIMER! cursing, slight degradation (yn is called a “bitch” by her boyfriend), lots of tears, yn’s got a boyfriend whose name is never mentioned, yn in here has dark hair (sorry for my light-haired babes, it’s just for the plot), sabrina carpenter sad songs (yes, that goes as a warning), physical and psychological insecurities, cutest pet names (princess, baby, love, yun & more), body worshipping, just softie bsf yuyu showing all his love to reader ><

NIC’S NOTES this fic has a piece of my heart, i put all my poet ass in it lmao. ofc it’s inspired in “skin” by sabrina carpenter (song rec alert !!). enjoy, dearsss <3

“come to my place. now” was what you had told yunho when you called him. and no more words nor explanations were needed for him to rush into your studio apartment’s door.

a soft knock reverberated across the gloomy room while you were too busy rotting on your sofa, a feather pillow was pressed against your pale face by your hands as they grasped the fluffy material. you groaned before forcing your body up, your stocking feet idly searching for your black and white slippers. tired body shuffling its way to your door.

you swung your door open revealing your best friend’s figure, enveloped in an oversized hoodie, hands busy holding a basket full of your favorite sweets and scented candles. you also could take a peek at some teabags, also of your preferences. “bought some things on my way here. you sounded a bit off so i thought these could make you feel better.” he muttered as he analyzed your state, smudged mascara on your cheeks catching his attention.

your boyfriend of two years had called you to ask you if you were free tonight. as excitement rushed through your veins, you accepted frantically; you hadn’t seen him in so long since he was on some sort of business trip, you didn’t know. he didn’t clarify what it was for and you didn’t even bother asking, limiting yourself to only wish him the best and tell him how much you love him and to be safe. your small studio apartment felt so small and empty without his joyful presence, yunho having to fill the void. but finally, finally, the two weeks; fourteen days; 336 hours, and fifty minutes passed, though they did at the pace of a turtle.

you tracked the flight of the airplane he was in as the two-weeks-accumulated anxiety was overflowing you. when your screen informed you that he’d arrive in only ten minutes, you changed your clothes, did your makeup as fast as lightning, and drove, ignoring a few traffic signs, to the airport. and you waited, and waited, and waited. he never showed up.

with all the people that passed you by while you lingered in that airport, you tried to convince yourself that maybe he was there or that his flight was delayed. the most nonsensical excuses were formed in your head. you were quick to grab your phone, slide your finger across your screen, and type anxiously against it, your eyes moving from side to side, up and down, looking for his contact.

to love: “where are u”

to love: “have u arrived yet?”

no response. your feet were starting to feel your weight too much, feeling sore as the minutes passed. a teardrop threatened to roll off your cheekbone but you resisted, holding onto a miserable bit of hope. and then it started raining, the heavy drops hammering the walls made of glass of the airport and you heaved a sigh. a part of you refusing to accept that he wasn’t there and that you had to rot in a cold, lonely bed again for god knows how much time. your index finger was firmly placed on the on and off button of your phone, checking your screen every five seconds, envisioning the relieving sound of a “ding” indicating that he had finally replied to you. sadly, it didn’t.

although, he had taken the time to answer to your desperate messages four days later, you were still excited to meet your lover again, after being apart for such a long time. you were supposed to have a pretty dinner date at his place, or at least that’s how you interpreted his words. actually he had said “we need to catch up! come to my place by 6”, but you still dolled up as if you were modeling on the fucking red carpet. and you regretted it so much.

a few sips of the sparkling champagne were enough for you to start confessing how much you had missed him and everything you had done in his absence. your crystallized bubble crumbled down so fast, though. only five words, five damn words were necessary for your eyes to start welling up with precious teardrops.

“we need to break up.” he had said. emotionless. as if he was giving you the fucking hour.

“what. why?” your eyes peered down his soul as you tried to retain a few tears that already demanded their release. you processed his words and spoke, “and what do you mean by need?” 

your scattered voice didn’t hurt him. not at all. “i’ve been hiding something from you for… too much time.” you gasped. your ears tickling in anticipation. “sorry, but i’m in love with… someone else.”

the glass of champagne that rested on your hand on the edge of the table slipped off it and met the floor, the crystal and liquor spread all over it, messing its neatness up. tears started to flow down your heated cheekbones, your bottom lip caught between your teeth. “how long?”

your simple question received a simpler answer. “eight months.”

your throat ran dry but you still managed to speak back through gritted teeth. “eight months. was i not enough for you? were those eight months happier for you?”

he stood up, now both of you speaking face-to-face. frown brows decorated his expression. “why bother telling you?”

“answer me!” you demanded, your voice and heart naturally breaking with each passing second near him.

“fine. those were the best months of my life. she’s the most beautiful woman i’ve ever seen, her soul is just as bright as her blonde hair. she treats me like a king, yn. and what have i gotten with you? nothing but just shitty nights, crying myself to sleep because of our never-ending fights.” he breathed before continuing, “don’t you understand that you’re nothing compared to her?”

he deadpanned and you couldn’t bring yourself to hold eye contact. your knuckles turned clearer as you tightened your fist. “fuck you.”

you didn’t think twice before standing up and making your way out of that unforgettable apartment, not daring to look back; you managed to hear a faint “you asked, bitch!”. once you walked out of the building and entered your car, you fell apart. mascara stains all over your face and smudged lipstick around your mouth. the tight grip you maintained on the steering wheel was alternative in function of not breaking your fist by punching a concrete wall. you turned up the radio, desperately looking for a song that’d cheer you up. but “opposite” by sabrina carpenter started playing.

you drove home with the singer’s soothing voice and melody in the background as the lyric was blabbered by your broken self, hitting naturally differently. at this point, your face was a mess, unlocking a new feature of you. before arriving home, you thought of yunho. yes, he’d definitely be the solution —or distraction— of all this disarray. so you typed “yuyu” on the contacts’ search bar, rapidly hitting the call button.

and he picked up so fast, promising you to be at your place in 10. and here he was, wrapping your core with his large arms in a warm, much-needed hug. you allowed the rest of the teardrops that hadn’t fallen to do so, a patch of wetness on yunho’s hoodie.

“do you wanna talk about it?” his soothing voice comforting you. he waited patiently for you to recompose and be able to formulate non-blabbered sentences.

“it’s him, yun.” your words were muffled by his cloth, yet still audible for yunho to comprehend. “he cheated on me.” you lifted your face up his chest, teary-eyed. “for eight fucking months.”

genuinely, yunho never liked your boyfriend. there was just something about him that triggered yunho, so he rejected him from the very first start. still, he didn’t say anything about his repudiation towards your boyfriend since he was a witness of how much you adored him. the little girl grin your lips would form every time you talked about him was so cute. a facet of him wished that smile to be caused only because of him though. he’d tell you how he felt about your boyfriend, but not now. not when he has you breaking down on his arms.

“come on, princess. let’s lie on the couch.” he mumbled as he scooped you in his arms, holding you soundly. idly, you enveloped your arms around his toned neck and hid your messed-up face in the crook of his neck. due to his height and the small space of your apartment, five steps were enough for him to lay your core all along the fluffy, light-colored couch, your ankles hanging off of its armrest. he sat next to your head and you lifted it a bit, indicating to put his legs under your nape to use his thighs as a pillow.

he trailed his hand up and down your untied hair, alleviating your pain away. “what did he tell you, hm?”

you exhaled deeply, remembering his harsh words, your irises being covered by a watered shield for the nth time that night. yunho’s thumb rushing up your eyes and brush them away. “nonono, baby.” he whispered tenderly, swelling your heart up even more. a moment of silence was given to you by him. “take a deep breath for me.”

your chest rose and fell as you followed yunho’s instructions, your teary eyes locked with his, full of sweetness and affection. his thumb still working on the inconstant waterfall that kept flowing down your cheeks. you kept your breathing pace calm and collected, a proud, beaming smile adorning his face. “that’s it, sweetheart. just like that” he kept quiet for a moment before speaking again. “whenever you feel ready, just vent with me.”

five minutes passed and yunho didn’t seem bothered because of it. hell, he’d give you all the existing time for you to get over that jackass. he adored you way too much and thought that you were too beautiful to be crumbling down because of him. and he didn’t have to say it, his eyes spoke for him, perfectly reflecting his devotion to you.

your deep sigh pulled him out of his trance. and you finally started spilling out all your thoughts. “i asked him if i wasn’t enough for him and if he had spent those eight months with her happily. i don’t even know why i did that. i must be some sort of a masochist” you said causing yunho to let out a breathy chuckle. “he said that they were. and that she’s the most beautiful woman he has ever seen, with a soul as bright as her hair.” his words tattooed on your skull. your voice nearly broke. “and that i’m nothing compared to her.”

“and did you believe him?” he questioned. “do you?”

“i—“ you stammered, not knowing your response. your misery and self-love were tearing you down to pieces. “i don’t know, yun.”

“and you’re so wrong for that.” he stated and you tilted your head slightly in confusion. “honey. look at you” his hand flew down your thighs, caressing the upper part of them. “your legs, so smooth and strong. ready to take your beautiful soul to any corner of the world.” he continued his path up to your arms, stroking them. “your arms, so slimmed and powerful. they make you look like a little defenseless girl when in reality you can knock tons of people with just your fist.” you choked a chuckle, flattered because of his praise, which seemed to be never-ending since he kept on going, his long palm rubbing your covered abdomen. “your perfect sized-belly with the most hypnotizing curves known to man.” he dedicated a few seconds of his journey along your core to draw soft circles on your waist. and he moved on, reaching your neck. gentle fingers grazed its sides. “your neck, covered in the most perfect constellation of freckles.”

you giggled, your skin way too flushed since you were locked in a prison of praises. “okay, yun. we got your poin—“

he shushed you right away. “mm. i’m not done yet.” his right hand cupped one side of your face, his thumb caressing your cheekbone. “your cheeks. so cute whenever you’re nervous or embarrassed. like right now.” he admired the view of your pinkish skin for a bit longer before locking his honey-dripping gaze with yours, now completely absent of tears. “and your eyes. your intoxicating, saturn-like eyes. the little beam that always shines in them reminds me of the stars, y’ know?” he confessed. “and don’t even get me started with your endearing, beautiful soul.”

the palm of your hand cradled his face, his head tilting against your touch as he covered it with his own. “yunho..”

your whisper tickled his heart. “yes, love?”

your heart ached for healing, its wounds crying out for solace. you firmly believed that yunho’s lips held the remedy you so desperately sought, a cure capable of mending the fractured pieces of your soul. you stood before him, every beat of your heart echoed with hope and longing. when yunho finally leaned in, his kiss was more than just a touch—it was a gentle balm that eased your pain, restoring a sense of wholeness you hadn’t felt in months. in that moment, you knew that the healing you had yearned for was not only possible but was unfolding before you, one tender kiss at a time.

as yunho’s lips lingered on yours, you felt a warmth spread through you, an escape from the lingering chill of your recent heartbreak. even though you knew in the back of your mind that you should give yourself time to heal, to focus on your own recovery and self-discovery, the desire to be close to yunho overpowered your rational thoughts. his kiss was a sanctuary from the storm of emotions, a fleeting moment of solace that you clung to desperately.

when he finally pulled away, his eyes searched yours with a mix of concern and affection. you could see that he understood the uncertainty you were feeling, but he chose to respect your vulnerability. “you don’t have to rush anything,” he said softly, “i’m here for you. no matter what.”

you nodded, a mixture of gratitude and confusion in your eyes. “i know,” you whispered. “i just... needed this.”

yunho took your hand gently, his touch comforting and reassuring. “take all the time you need,” he said. “i’ll be right here.”

as you let the tender moment just end, you felt a mix of emotions swirling inside you. the healing process was far from over, but yunho’s presence gave you a glimmer of hope. you knew that it’d take time to rebuild and to understand what you truly needed, but for now, you allowed yourself to cherish the connection you shared with him. the road ahead was uncertain, but at least you weren’t walking it alone.

| masterlist

LMAO no way in hell am I surprised you did not get the job - the way you write suggests you’re not very bright or academic

For your information you don’t know me and you don’t know what I applied for so mind your fucking business

I worked my ass in school for this job and I’m sorry that you are so insecure of yourself that you have to go on anonymous to talk shit to someone you don’t know