As Long As Its Not Spicy Boyfriend Asmr

as long as its not spicy boyfriend asmr

I came back to say thiss. notice how a bunch of porn links in the jjk x reader tag gets 100k notes in two days than a regular fic authors write and post for themselves and spending hours to weeks on tbhhh y’all don’t like fluff or angst anymore??? and those step fics to… you don’t like fics anymore???or something.

Saw your adorable Barbie background for your blog, and I had to share some cursed brain rot I had related to Barbie!

Rothbart from Barbie: Swan Lake, is a legitimate good father. Sure he had his moment where he left Odile as a pig, but the fact that he was about to try and end Odette and Daniel, but came to Odile when he heard her scream when she was being sprayed by skunks is still such a win for him!

So since your requests are open…yan hcs for Rothbart? When he younger of course…cause I was always so bummed his wife was never in the picture. I know this is so cursed…

i’ve actually never watched barbie swan lake so i made the stupid decision of skipping to the parts the bird man was in. idk why i did that. i was so confused. bro really saw barbie in a forest, arched his back, threw some magical beam at her through a ring, turned her into a swan, didn't elaborate and flew away.

we're not going to talk about how i thought his daughter was his wife at first. i was about to come for you if you were simping over a married man in low qual 00s barbie 😭 him as a human in that ball scene tho- i listen to whatever doja says

anyway, here it is. love anything cursed i eat it up.

✮ft: yan!rothbart / yan!prince

yan!prince rothbart who almost immediately took a dislike to you, his personal maid, personal servant, his own little retainer, and any other words that can fit that category. he hated the way you looked at him, so naive, as if you truly believed that he could rule over this forest, as if you truly believed he would be picked over his cousin. it was truly pathetic.

yan!prince rothbart who would study day in and out until the sun rose and fell into those trees, all the while you were there for every minute of it. need a new book or for you to return one that’s all the way in the back of the library just so your annoying presence is gone? of course, you’ll do it! it’s what the future king wants, isn't it?

yan!prince rothbart who hears the kitchen staff talking rather rudely about him after you take too long to fetch him some bread to eat. they weren't wrong speaking about how he just wants to rule the forest, but they would do the same. he wanted to wait until it died down until you finally spoke up to cut them off.

“prince rothbart isn't anything like that! he’s kind and studies more than any of you would! he would be a better ruler than any of you!”

yan!prince rothbart who maybe slowly starts to relish in your presence. you were one of, if not the first, to be on his side and want him to become king. after everything he’s put you through, you still want him as king. it was so dimwitted and simple. you were so dimwitted and simple. then why did you always make him seem so much lighter?

yan!prince rothbart who is still agitated how you followed him around like a lost duck everywhere he went. how you didn't understand anything about the land or policies, laws, politics, but it almost became therapeutic to him; his own little escape.

yan!prince rothbart who found himself slipping from his studies to escape with you. running away to the forest for a small picnic by the river, your laugh so elegant as animals would run to you and away from you. your teasing words as he pretended not to care if a hedgehog almost chopped off his finger echoed in his ears like a symphony.

yan!prince rothbart who wanted to spend more and more time with you. that is your job, after all. you should be more than willing to devote more time to him, whether it be sneaking off to help him find some berries or leaves or just a way to escape classes or studies.

yan!prince rothbart who decides that he should give something back to you after all these years of being by his side. specially brewed tea mixed with the finest wild honey and a scrumptious grayanotoxin. you would never need to be knowledgeable about the mad honey disease, as the common people called it. you’re just sick is all! the doctors can check, even if they find nothing.

yan!prince rothbart who has moved some of his studies to your cramped room. you don't want him in here? you don't want him to catch your little fever? he should be studying? oh, but he is studying. you're just here to keep him in high spirits! after all, it is so funny when you ask him what something means. just how could you not know what hunting laws indicate as a servant?

yandere!prince rothbart who is always the only one to serve you your favorite honey tea. it’s just so yummy, making you feel better! it’s not as if he’s the one holding you hostage in this bed with it! no, never!

yan!prince rothbart who once he is of age finally hears of who will be king or queen, finally snapping at you. everything imaginable is thrown at your cowering body. a teacup holding scalding tea goes first, shattering behind you, tea imprinting on the wall as a loud crash is heard.

“this is all your fault! if i had studied more and not spent so much time with you! you pathetic dumb little pauper! i should be king!”

yan!prince rothbart who hurried over to your twin-size bed, sitting down next to you, dipping the bed, cradling your weak frame in his arms. Whispers of sweet nothings resonated in your ear as he stroked your arm up and down. You’re always there; why should he not repay you by ruling over him? If you want to or not, of course, isn't up to you. If it ever was, it would never even be a question but a fact; that answer being no.

“my dear [y/n], this land no longer needs us. for now, be with me. stay by my side until i- no, we shall rule this forest.”

i'm not dead. i'm surviving until i watch the live-action universal monster high movie and mamma mia 3

i'm going to focus more on writing now that it's summer. plus, i'm updating the blog because, in my opinion, it's ugly, so there's a lot more to come ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚

𝐍𝐀𝐕𝓘𝐆𝐀𝐓𝓘𝐎𝐍.

𓂃𓂃 ₙₒ gᵤₙₛ ₐₗₗₒwₑd ₐₜ ₜₕₑ ₚₐᵣₜy 𓂃𓂃

( 𝓑﹚ arb𝒾e stars as 𝓜erl𝒾ah, a surf𝒾ng champ𝒾on from 𝓜al𝒾bu. 𝓞ne m𝒾nute she's a normal teenager and the next she learns a shock𝒾ng fam𝒾ly secret: she's a merma𝒾d! 𝓜erl𝒾ah and her dolph𝒾n fr𝒾end 𝓩uma set off on an undersea adventure to rescue her mother, the queen of 𝓞ceana.

꒰ 🥥 ꒱ؘ ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

𓇼 m.list

𓇼 december drabbles

𓇼 rules

request status: open

✮ imagine kisaki dating you just to be closer to hina, your best friend. you knew her since you could remember and kisaki since cram school. you didn't have a real opinion on him and just thought he was the shy, studious type- nothing really special to write home about.

✮ but you were surprised when he confessed a little after hina started talking about a boy named takemichi and how he saved her. you don’t know why he confessed at all. you couldn't even think of a single reason. you never spoke; it was just you standing behind hina, waiting for her to finish complimenting him so you could go get popsicles at the park.

✮ the confession seemed fake- even something a little you could pick up on. it was like a robot, and not in the way he was confessing to himself in the mirror so many times; it was just dry. the confession had no heart to it. he wasn't even blushing and looking down, flickering his eye to you and the ground and spilling out, “i like like you!” it was just bland. so bland, in fact, you forgot every single word of it even while listening to it.

✮ but you were also young and thought a boyfriend would make you cooler, so you accepted it. also because you didn’t want to be left behind from hina and her ever-growing relationship with takemichi.

✮ when you asked him why he liked you a few weeks into the relationship, he said something about how you were like a plant and didn't get on his nerves. you didn't talk to him for a week after that.

✮ but when middle school started is when you were questioning the relationship. sure, it was weird to date someone and then move into middle school. the new personalities and new friend groups would naturally cause conflicts, but you were determined to keep on dating the guy. so determined it clouded your thoughts on the real underlying reason he even wanted to date you. you also didn't want to question if he liked you just to have a repeat of the plant comment.

✮ you were still friends with hina in middle school, going from a friend to a best friend if takemichi didn't already fit that role with a boyfriend. you were jealous of him, spending so much time with her after school. you didn’t know if that was the real reason or maybe jealous of their relationship. kisaki looked at you and spent time with you, yes, but it all seemed so artificial. like some alien trying to blend into the real world disguised as a cow with purple spots in a field of grass.

✮ it all changed, or spiraled when he met some guy, oniinii, osanii, osanai? he said you have your friends and he can have his, so you shouldn't judge, so you didn’t. you let him be. after all, relationships are built on trust and understanding.

✮ now the only time he wants to hang out is when you make an offside comment about how hina was going to be there or you were hanging out with hina. you thought it was just a way for him to be less awkward around you- a third person to brighten up the mood and keep the conversation from coming to an awkward pause. still, when you mentioned other names, he just hummed and continued to study for an upcoming test while you sat on his bed staring at the tv.

✮ after about a month of this, you were a little more than mad. you wanted to stay in the relationship for a reason you couldn’t pin down. you wanted to think it was because you liked him and his calming presence. you shoved down the feeling of being stubborn; a year plus relationship with someone wasn't a lot, but to you, it was. you’ve stuck with him for a year; he’s the first and only guy to confess to you. then you pushed down the feeling of not wanting to be alone, just having friends- nothing special like a boyfriend in sight.

✮ so you started shoving more and more dates in his face if one date a week was bombarding. you just wanted a simple lunch date with him on the weekend, drink something nice, and maybe eat a sweet with him and talk about your week.

✮ but he would slowly start to ditch it more and more as the weeks passed. the first and second week were the best because he actually showed up and stayed. you would carry the conversation, assuming he was awkward, but it was overall a nice time- calm and comfortable.

✮ but he would slowly slip farther and farther from your date plans. you didn’t want to question it the first few times he left as he said osanai needed him and you assumed he was just tutoring the poor guy. you didn't want to judge people based on their appearance, an appearance you had yet to see but from the sound of it he could be a delinquent. besides, kisaki was leaving money to pay for his and maybe your meal if you didn’t talk a lot. yet as the weeks passed, your thoughts of the tutoring switched to your boyfriend getting bullied by the gang member you only know the name of.

✮ kisaki did catch onto your worry and he told you not to worry. he had told you osanai was his friend. he had told you osanai needed some help with homework. he had told you him and osanai needed to finish a last-minute project. excuses, excuses and more excuses.

✮ now the only dates you even get are the spur-of-the-moment ones which you force him to go on. even then, he leaves early, leaving more and more cash on the table each time to cover the bill.

✮ and then came hanma. you remembered that man's name the first time you heard it. you hated the way he looked at you. he had this look as if to tell you he knew so much more than you. like he knew something you didn't. not to mention his laugh whenever you left the room. your room. they would talk and discuss whatever teenagers talk about in your room, food crumbs on your bed left by the new boy.

✮ your boyfriend and his new replacement for osanai even used kisaki's room. you know this from kisaki telling you randomly, as if to diffuse your anger after a long day. but then hanma said he liked the vibe of yours so they used it more. you had a feeling he was just making up excuses so he could get a mini maid, you.

✮ you were afraid of the new replacement of osanai. you don’t even think kisaki remembers him, which pisses you off more than you’d like to admit because he spent more time with him than you.

✮ hanma got under your skin in more ways than one. he never got mad at you, never even raising a hand to hit you. it was that look he gave you that made you hate him so much, not the amount of time he spent with your boyfriend.

✮ when you yelled at the tall boy for smoking in your room, he laughed and told you not to worry about it so much because he did it out the window. you were on the verge of shoving him out the window if he kept up being himself.

✮ but the reason you probably hated hanma so much was that you had more of a relationship with him than the boy you were in a relationship with.

✮ now, you remember those dates kisaki left you for with osanai? now he was leaving with hanma every time he apologized quicker and quicker. each time he left, he would leave a wad of cash greater and greater than the last. you didn’t want to question the money; it was his life after all. it also would mostly cover the tab and sometimes leave you some extra money. one of these times you had enough left over to buy him a present, and with your anniversary coming up, you wanted to buy him something- it was his money after all.

✮ you liked the present having thought about it for a while now. you had decided on a mini pig phone charm, remembering how they were one of the smartest animals in that one documentary you watched a few years ago. you also remembered he didn’t like dumb people, something he brought up when you asked what the amount of money the tip would be. it was the perfect anniversary gift! so perfect in fact you bought a matching one so you could even remember you had a boyfriend!

✮ and a week after your anniversary when you walked into your room, you saw hanma sitting on your bed, looking at his phone while something played in the background. that little pig charm was dangling from his phone, almost taunting you. even that stupid pig was giving you the pitting look hanma would always give you, only this time hanma had a smile on his face watching as your eyes followed the animal sway side to side. side to side on your boyfriends best friends phone.

✮ when you ran to the bathroom to call hina, kisaki was knocking on the door a few minutes after you burst out of your own room. he sounded so… dissatisfied. so unfazed. like he was forced to do it, but you knew better than to believe it was hanma who did it. could it be? your boyfriend was actually trying to care for you? did he actually appreciate all that time you spent trying to love and care for him? did he love your date ideas? did he love you?

✮ no.

✮ no.

✮ no.

“can you stop crying? it’s annoying and i can’t focus.”

✮ tetta kisaki must die.

you slam opened the door to his face, watching as he stumbled back into the wall, paying no attention to the prying eyes and ears of hanma from down the hall. “shut up! just shut up already! why is it the one time i need you to not talk you finally open your mouth?! you’re always so quiet around me! i’m the person you're supposed to open up around, and you don't! the one time you should say something- anything nice to cheer me up, you tell me I'm annoying!”

“are you… breaking up with me?”

“what else do you expect?! i can’t call you by your first name! i get you something for our anniversary and you give it to your best friend! you never spend any time with me! you only want to spend time with hina, who has a boyfriend! i mean seriously, what’s wrong with you? have you just liked her this whole time!?” and with hanma's annoying laugh, it was solidified. he never even liked you in the first place. hanma knew. osanai probably knew. everyone knew but you.

“i hope you and hanma have a great life together kisaki.” you finally try and relax, keeping a steady breath looking down on your ex-boyfriend. “now get out. now.”

Will you do more slasher yandere? I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!! I wanna see us graduated with a house, wedding, and 7 kids. I wanna be his lil stepford wifey!!!!!!!!!! 🙈🤰👩‍🍼👶😭

🤰-anon i was so confused for a second before i reread the fic. i was staring at my screen for a solid second questioning my life. i was like, “7 kids… tf?”

[part.1]

yan!slasher who makes feels so young around you. he can still remember your wedding just a few years ago.

yan!slasher who will always love your oldest the most, having luckily caused the shotgun wedding. oh, he'll never forget that fear in your eyes, tears threatening to spill, proclaiming you were still a virgin. it was honestly because your period was late, and it was a joke to check.

yan!slasher who felt some remorse. he promised to wait until you were married, and he thought he had the patience- just when you look like that, was it honestly his fault? he's been waiting since high school just for this very moment. you can't exactly blame him when those hormones he's been trying to keep down just come to bite him later on.

yan!slasher who decides you both and your 7 little dwarfs should move to a gated community in the midwest, each house bearing shutters on windows and white picket fences. grass that could rival the country club a few blocks away, and those beautiful flowers you loved so much so he loved them so much.

yan!slasher who was honestly being generous. i mean, the perfect town and house for the perfect nuclear family, who wouldn't want that? sure a woman like you should never be confined to a kitchen, for crying out loud you have a degree, but think about your 7 children. they needed a mother in their life. their father is a hard worker after all he can pay the bills so the children can have a mother.

yan!slasher who worried about your loneliness. you did need some friends from moving into such a beautiful community. why not invite some women over? he made sure to buy only the best house available just for your family to be the envy of the town. the wives immediately wanting to have tea once your husband and perfect children were gone.

yan!slasher who, of course, caught wind of mrs. rothschild. how could she say such horrible things? ‘her lawn needed some mowing, and did you see her shoes? ugh, I saw that wear and tear from a mile away. she’s such a- excuse my language, whore. she just married him for his money.’ who did she think she was? she was just an unfertilized old hag wishing to relive her youth! she was jealous of you and your perfect family!

yan!slasher who almost jumps on her the moment those words spill from her sagging red-painted lips. he continued driving the golf cart on the green, trying to contain himself, the past he desperately was trying not to relapse into. but at the same time, did her family even need her? he’s heard the rumors from the drunk colleagues after work in the bar, how she practically was pouncing on her children when they came home with an a- or anything below. the complete opposite of what a woman should be! she’s the complete opposite of you!

yan!slasher who came to the conclusion mrs. rothschild's family could live without her. a pathetic old woman desperately trying to relive her youth by hating on those with lives oh so much better than hers. yes, she could die; it would be for the greater good. but at the same time, he couldn't fall into his old ways. his family needed him- you needed him. he was the sole provider for your little children, and to think like tha- ‘to think that man even has a wife like her. such a pathetic man.’

yan!slasher who is grateful he kept up with working out. beneath that knitted sweater, white button-down, and expensive pants, it was plainly obvious. of course, he made sure you would remember that whenever all the kids were asleep. you did say you wanted to try for another after all.

yan!slasher who decided that the only way to get rid of mrs. rothschild was to tell you to invite her for tea one-on-one. poisoning that vegan tea she liked oh so much and some sleeping drugs in yours. you and the children wouldn't need to know this side of him, grabbing her hair through that kentucky derby hat, ripping the expensive fabric, and gripping to her hair with his strong fingers, still rough and padded from his days in high school up until now, switching to golfing with his work buddies.

yan!slasher who left a note telling you he was going to work early from some colleagues slacking off, and mrs. rothschild left when you fell asleep. that was all a cover-up for him to leave town for a day or two. he just needed to find that deserted fishing lake his college told him about. that sewage spilling would cover up her pathetic, rotting body in no time. now you could live your happy little stepford wife life with no trouble!

yan!slasher who started slipping up more and more. sure, he wouldn't have wanted this at the beginning. this was a new place, a new year. but it was all for you! why shouldn’t he protect his wife and children? he’s already the sole provider, after all.

yan!slasher who makes sure to dispose of tell the housing committee that anyone who even looked at you the wrong way mailbox was approximately two inches farther than the housing code in section 2-a of the appropriate home guide they would give you on the first day of moving in.

yan!slasher who makes sure you don't know what happened to that woman who said such horrible atrocities about you. some such as your couch wasn’t complimenting the cheese platter you had served last week! so horrible and rude of her! how low do these people get? now, do you know her truly body and soul like him? well, no- you didn't. why should you stay up to date or even notice those beneath you and your wonderful perfect magazine family?

yan!slasher who was surprised when you did ask if she was alright but made sure you don't worry your little head off, darling wife. she was cheating on her husband with the couples' therapist anyway.

yan!slasher who noticed that man who looked at your photo in his wallet a split second longer than he should. he was slacking off at his job! fine reasons for someone to be fired as soon as snatches that position he’s been working oh so hard for! aren't you just so happy for him? don't think you should reward him? have the kids go to their friends' house for a night and let him finally spend some alone time with you, the creaking of the bed frame hitting the wall the whole night, heartbeats intertwining into one?

yan!slasher who was grateful he had chosen such a safe town to live. a gated community was supposed to protect the outside not the inside after all. no one would suspect the nice and peaceful town would be harboring a murderer.

yan!slasher who wondered what the townspeople were thinking. he almost felt giddy at it. but he can't be distracted when his main priority is and always be you.

yan!slasher who is overjoyed when the town decides to host a party to try and brighten everyone's mood. this would be another perfect opportunity to show the community how perfect his pretty little wife is! yes, he wanted to look good, only for you. you were the only one he saw, why should he care about the others? you were the main attraction. he would make sure people would know that.

yan!slasher who let you put some makeup onto him to try and spruce him up a bit. who cares if it wasn’t masculine? he would be hotter than any other man there anyway. besides, he was the only one that had a wife that loved him! how pathetic was it to hate those who have more than you?

yan!slasher who ignores the looks women give him. envy. yearning. desire. if one woman even touched him or, god forbid, a man talk to you, he would just have to rip that cute little esophagus right out of their throat in front of everyone!

yan!slasher who, of course, doesn't. why would he ever subject your eyes to even the thought of blood? but he does cling to you the whole night. you want to talk to some of the wives? oh, no, i don’t think that would be for the best. after all, your husband is right here. he’s been so busy with work, why would you ever want to leave your devoured spouse to spend time with friends?

yan!slasher who, once he hears the rumors going around that he, him, your wonderful loving husband was the one killing people, was over this little town.

yan!slasher who makes sure you didn't try any of the punch or alcohol they were serving. 

yan!slasher who makes sure that you both leave early.

yan!slasher who makes sure to tell the kids to pack up.

yan!slasher who makes sure that he already had everything you needed to leave.

yan!slasher who makes sure to grab a photobook of your family and get everyone in the car. 

yan!slasher who makes sure you don’t check the news on that small town you lived in.

“leaving? no, baby. just take a nap and when you wake up you’ll have a whole new life. i’ll protect you.”