This One Time I Ran A Red Light On Mistake And I Didnt Notice It Was Red Until It Was Too Late So I Just

this one time I ran a red light on mistake and I didn’t notice it was red until it was too late so I just ran the light screeching like an angry pterodactyl the entire time

a cop was at the intersection so he pulled me over and when he came up to my window he was wheezing cause he was laughing so hard and he said

“ok so i know you ran a red light and that’s really bad and you should never do it again but i’m not gonna give you a ticket cause that was the funniest thing i’ve ever seen and my partner can’t get out of the car cause he’s laughing so hard he’s about to pee himself”

i forgot that i’d had my window open when i ran the red light and the cop told me that all he heard from my car was this really high-pitched “screeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

and that’s how i got out of getting a ticket for running a red light

Imagine being nico it’s just like hey thanks rick my life is apparently just a spiral of never ending sadness what the hell did I do to piss you off

IF YOU EVER NEED SOMETHING TO READ READ THIS

OK ARE YOU EVER IN NEED OF BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS BUT DON’T KNOW WHAT TO READ NEXT?

I present to you, straight from the internet, whichbook:

Here’s how it works: You click the link, and choose four categories and the extent to which these categories matter:

Then click “go” and it’ll come up with a number of books you might like.

DON’T LIKE THE CATEGORIES? NO PROBLEM - see this little thing:

THIS LITTLE THING WILL TAKE YOU TO THIS SLIGHTLY LARGER THING WHERE YOU CAN CHOOSE A BOOK BASED ON THE FOLLOWING:

YOU NOW HAVE NO EXCUSE TO NOT BE READING SOMETHING BECAUSE WHATEVER YOU WANT THIS SITE WILL COME UP WITH IT.

… Apart from bisexual retired alien dudes. No books on that. Yet.

The words simply didn’t make sense together: Friendly face. Nico di Angelo.

art

The Clave and LGBT marriage

Member 1: USA made gay marriage legal. Member 2: But WE didn’t. Member 3: But we never made it illegal either. Member 2: The fuck we didn’t Member 3: *shows hella old scrolls of laws* Member 2: We fucking didn’t.

Me on a date: So what do you think about Peter Capaldi as the Doctor ?

Them: I think he's too old to play the doctor and I just want Matt Smith ba-

Me, shoving breadsticks in my purse: I'm sorry but I have to go home right now immediately