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Why am I drunk and I suddenly wanna write a smutty Drabble about namjoon

Ahhh its okay take your time author nim!

Ahhh thank you so much! To be very transparent, I have been very busy to the point where I get too tired to write. I also don’t want to release chapters that don’t meet my expectations. I’ve been writing slowly and surely. I promise you it will get done! Thank you for understanding and being patient 🥹🫰🏼

being insane about your own fics is so embarrassing like i want to scream and cry and shout about them but it’s like. my own guys.

A Taegi Series, pt. 5: softly, gently, tenderly

cr. qdeoks, 0613data, jung-koook, namuspromised, X

I also would like to say—This blog is still alive LOL I’m just really busy with work and other things. I haven’t gotten time to just stop and rest tbh 😭😭 chapter 10 isn’t finished at all but I have everything planned. It will take longer but please be patient with me 🥹

I’m betting that this chapter is like 15k+ SOZNDIDNDJSDJD come bet with me 🧍🏻‍♀️

💚HAPPY MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS MONTH💚

Everyone has mental health, and it needed as much like physical health. Mental health is essential for one’s well-being. Raise awareness to support the end the silence and stigma around mental health!

The very best email in the universe is [AO3] Comment on ________

I love writing fanfics where the man (usually the bts members) is just hopelessly devoted, in love, down bad, or a straight up loser for my OCs 😩 it’s so hard for me to make them super toxic and a complete dick to OC without any remorse

Hello all just wanted to say I saw Yoongi live this past weekend lol 💃🏻💃🏻

I’m currently busy and dreading work djdbdbdb so I haven’t done ANY updates y’all. Please forgive me 😭🫶🏼

AYOOOOO GOOD FOR ME HAS 2K NOTES DJDBDBDJDJ ALL YOU THIRSTY TAEWHORES SWEETIES ARE THE BESTEST TYSM 💟🧎🏻‍♀️

Good for Me | KTH

Pairing: Bad Boy Taehyung x Wholesome Reader

Genre: Fluff, Smut, PWP (porn with plot LMAO),

Summary: You went home for the weekend, leaving a pissed-off and bruised-up Taehyung dry and devastated. So what does he do?—follow you home. Insane? Probs, but you’re always good for him so why not?

Warning: OC’s parents are those strict nosy parents who still tell you what to do even if you’re 50 years+, mentions of Christianity hfrowhouw SUE ME, i have no idea what oc and tae are but you know there’s something, mentions of violence, blood, fighting, sneaky sneaky, dom tae x subby reader but tae is needy and whipped for her, he’s just a little shit, tae has a favorite curse word—it’s fuck, TAEHYUNG IS HUGE AND HUNG, aggressive handling (but oc consented), degradation/praise combo, pet names (because I’m a simp), oral (m. and f. receiving), fingering, spanking, tae enjoys seeing oc cry, licking, i think i have an obsession with orgasm control/denial, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, unprotected sex (don’t be like them), cream pie, cum play, the ending though MWAHAHAHAH

Word Count: 7.8k

A/N: I’m adding on for the taewhores and also wrote one lol BLAME THE FUCKING ELLE COVERS BECAUSE THIS SHOT OUT OF MY BLEEDING VAGINA DJDBDBSB I’M REPENTING AFTER THIS also cross-posted on AO3. Posting this at 2AM because that's when the feral wolf comes out :D

“You know ___, you shouldn’t be going out and partying. What if you do drugs and we don’t know? You know you should focus on yo—”

“Dad, for the last time, I’ve been focusing on my studies.” You rolled your eyes, not wanting a whole ‘nother lecture when you’re here, and you got here today! “I rarely go out too, plus if I do, I know I have to finish my work! You’ve seen my grades!”

“Yes, I know but still. Those worldly activities won’t get you anywhere in life but trouble.” Your dad expressed his continuous concern for you. He can’t help that you were his youngest. “Especially with boys! I mean your sisters have boyfriends but we don’t want that for y—”

“Dad, please. Nothing’s going on with me.” You semi-lied. You pinched the bridge of your nose before you stared exhaustingly at him. “It’s also not fair, but I don’t want to get into that.” You muttered under your breath as your father rested his hands on his hips.

“I’m just worried about you, sweet pea, especially since you’re farther away from us than your sisters were.” He reasoned worryingly. “We rarely hear from you too.”

“Because I’m just tired and I’m usually studying.” You shrugged. “I’m safe, okay? If I’m not, I know to call you or mom.”

“Fine…” He still didn’t look convinced, but it was enough to end it…for today only. “I always pray for your safety regardless. You should get some sleep since we’re waking up early tomorrow for the church fellowship.”

“I still don’t know why you wanted me to come for the weekend.” It was random and unexpected. But your father called you a couple of days back telling you to come back home for the weekend, so as a good and obedient daughter, you did.

“Of course, you needed to come.” He said like it was obvious. “As the pastor of the church and the one who’s hosting it, I’d like all my children to come.”

“But why aren’t the other two here?” You questioned. You haven’t seen your two older sisters yet.

“I mean they live around the area, unlike you since you’re hours away. We figured that they’ll meet us over there.” He responded. 

Great, you were the only one and had to deal with both of your parents for the entire weekend alone. At least your mom was already sleeping, but once she wakes up, it’ll only be twice as worse.

“Alright, well, I’m going to bed. See you in the morning.” You announced before hugging him. “Good night, love you.”

“Love you too, sweet pea, and remember, dear, the Lord is watching.” Your father pointed upwards, indicating the invisible yet existent one. You gulped before nodding obediently and going under your sheets. Before he left your room, he held the doorknob and said, “No boys, and don’t forget to pray!”

“Okay.” You didn’t even bother to look at him as you were situating yourself comfortably in bed. The bedroom lights were clicked off, yet the only light source was your bedside lamp. You heard your door closed shut and the sounds of his heavy footsteps disappeared away from your room before letting out a relieving sigh.

You don’t even know how long you could keep like this. There were many reasons why you wanted to be away for college, and this was one of them. You cheered yourself on right now, knowing that it’s just this weekend and you’ll be back in your freedom in no time.

This was where prayer came in handy, asking for the amount of strength and patience you’ll need with your parents. But it was all interrupted by the blue light and vibrations coming from your phone resting on your nightstand. This sigh you let out was more exasperated than before. You turned your head in that direction. You couldn’t really what was on it at this angle, but you definitely knew who it was.

You snatched your phone to find the 43 messages, 12 missed calls, and 2 voicemails from the one and only Kim Taehyung.

You honestly don’t know how you got into this mess, or how you weren’t able to get him away (probably because you still wanted him to be within reach). But the cycle continued.

It was probably because you were new to that town, having no background about your new hometown, and usually, those who lived there continued to stay there. You were fresh meat. But don’t get it wrong, people were nice and brought you in like you were always part of the community. You found new friends, even living with a girl who treated you so sweetly and caringly. It almost felt like they wanted to protect you from something…or rather someone.

That happened to be Taehyung.

You see here, folks. Kim Taehyung had a…infamous reputation. His name always got a reaction since the day he came into the world. What that meant was people were afraid of him. He grew up as a delinquent, had some family issues, got into loads of trouble, got suspended from school, was shipped to boarding school but got expelled and came back, and even got into countless fights. You recalled someone mentioning he once beaten his teacher up because he got a low grade that he shouldn’t have deserved.

He tended to get what he wanted. It didn’t help the fact that he came from a pretty well-off family, so whatever he did, it didn’t reach the police. Right? Fucking rich people.

Nevertheless, Taehyung’s behavior with or without his familial status was rogue. There have been rumors about him getting into gangs, drugs, you know the typical dark side of society. You couldn’t confirm nor deny it because despite his willingness to tell you, you never wanted to hear anything about it. Ignorance was bliss under this circumstance.

With that being said, when you first came here, you were instantly warned to stay away from him or else…You reasoned with, “or else what?” But then they proceeded to say the same things to you—he was dangerous, he harms others, he doesn’t care about anyone else but himself, if you’re in his way, he’ll wipe your entire existence away, and your life would get fucked up.

You did in fact listen and stayed away. You rarely knew of him or even saw him around, but it was better safe than sorry. Of course, fate begged to differ. 

Oh, that’s right. That’s how you got into this mess. You were partners with him in a general requirement course, and then after briefly talking to him, you realized he wasn’t all that bad.

First off, the dude was immaculate looking, like, who wouldn’t want to stare at his chiseled features? Yeah, he stared intensely almost like he wanted to kill you, but it affected you in other ways. His voice was cavernous and velvet like you wanted him to read the Bible to you.

He looked annoyed, yet he was a chill dude. There you thought—give him a chance and a break.

Oh boy, you thought wrong. So so wrong.

But did you love it? Absolutely.

This was why you needed to repent.

You didn’t even bother reading his texts. You decided to call him and annoyingly sat up from your comfortable position. The call didn’t even ring twice because, after the first one, he answered immediately.

“Petal, where the fuck are you?” He shouted through the phone. You squinted to yourself but weren’t as affected by his tone since you were used to it by now.

“I went home for the weekend.” You simply replied.

“And didn’t fucking bother to tell me?”

“It was a last-minute thing, and it slipped my mind.” You shrugged, then you pulled your blankets off of you to get up and habitually pace around the room while you talked. “Plus, you don’t have any authority to know where I am.”

“I absolutely do have the authority whether you like it or not.”

“Ew, red flag, why?” 

“I need to know if you’re safe.” His voice subsided this time, knowing he was probably pouting yet you couldn’t see it. Okay, this was rather valid since you were associated with the bad boy of the town.

“Well, I am safe. I’m away from school and all of that.” You blushed, feeling the butterflies in your stomach. “I’m with my parents too. My holy parents, might I add.” 

“Right, holy parents and your holy sisters who got married to other holy men.” You could hear the sarcasm leaving his mouth. “Yet there’s nothing holy about their slutty little girl and the man that’s been fucking her to hell.”

“Shhhhh, don’t say stuff like that, Taehyung!” You whisperingly yelled as you stopped your pacing to clench your legs together. You always hated how much of a potty mouth he was. Though you internally loved it. “You know I don’t like that.”

“Come on, Petal. I’m just lightening up my mood, especially since you left me.”

“I won’t be gone for that long. It’s only the weekend, and I’ll be back in no time.” You resumed your pace before standing in front of your window with your back facing it. 

“That’s too long for me to not have you.”

“I’m sorry, there’s nothing I can do!”

“You can come back, Petal.”

“No, I can’t!” You shook your head. “My parents will get mad if I leave, for a boy too.”

“That’s a risk I’m willing to let you take.”

“Taetae, no!” You were trying to stand your ground. You already had four lectures with your parents, you can’t argue with him right now. “I need to sleep, it’s getting late too!”

Though his heart fluttered at the use of the nickname, he was getting pissed off that you weren’t being a good girl for him. “Babydoll, be careful with your words. I’m warning you.” His voice went an octave down, shocking your body especially your cunt. Even hundreds of kilometers away, he had such a powerful effect on you.

“I am being careful! With everything. Now please, I have to get up early tomorrow. Good night, okay Taetae? I’m sorry.” You rushed your words in fear that you were getting too loud that your parents might hear.

“This isn’t ov—” You didn’t let him finish because you decided that this conversation was over. You didn’t want to get into trouble on both ends, but your parents scared you more than him. They’ll probably want to purify you if they found out you were stained by the lustful demon-like Taehyung.

Despite ending the call, here came Taehyung calling you over and over again. You could not be bothered with it, so you settled it back onto your nightstand. You were exhausted, frustrated, and horny, but sleep was above all right now. You had to bite your tongue and go to bed.

You were about to get back into your sheets when suddenly your window from the second level of the house opened, and a gust of wind pushed its way inside. Your head snapped back at the speed of light, then a large palm covered your entire mouth before you could scream your heart out.

Though in low light, your wild widened eyes saw his face.  But what sparked you was his concerning appearance. While disheveled ebony hair was pushed back with little strands falling off his forehead, yet there was a deep cut with dried-up blood around its corners. Hues of purple and yellow covered his rich eyes that gleamed in the night whilst glaring deeply into your soul. The perfect bridge of his curved nose had another pained gash. His ever-so-plumped lips were peeled and split open and the corner of his mouth held bruising. Despite all, he looked so perfect in your dazed eyes.

“Good night, okay Taetae?” At a lower volume, he mimicked your voice at a higher pitch than how you actually sounded. He dropped his hand off of you and started waving both hands around. “Oh, look, I’m ___. I need my rest to go to church with my pastor dad and repent all the nasty shit I do with my Taetae.”

You didn’t even bother to point out how he was inaccurately impersonating you because you were shushing him to shut up. “Taehyung, be quiet. My parents could hear you.” You shook your head, eyes shifting from the closed door to him. Then you realized it wasn’t locked, so you rushed there to lock it immediately. You checked the knob and once it didn’t budge, you peered back at the frustrated man standing tall and intimidating. “How did you even find me?”

“I always find you.” He snorted as his eyes roamed around your childhood bedroom. Very pink with an unhealthy amount of plushies scattered around and you had so many pictures of your family. Not to mention the Bible at your desk. “We also share each other’s location.”

“I don’t even look at yours.”

“That’s your fault.” He retorted back.

“Taetae, you’re all bruised up!” You gasped as you finally saw patches of blood stains on his denim and army fabric jacket. A sleeve was torn and ripped. His knuckles held more bruising cuts and discoloration. You couldn’t even process that he had no shirt underneath because battered markings painted his torso. It wasn’t unusual to see him like this because these things occurred regularly but never made you less at ease. You reached for his hands and inspected for any other cuts and bleeding. “Noo, do you feel like you have a concussion? Is your head also okay? Will you need stitches agai—“

Out of nowhere, his long fingers grasped under your jaw, pulling you closer to his face. His grip tightened, causing you to wince in pain. Dang, he was so furious. Not bothering to answer you, he interrupted your worries. “Now the fuck you were doing, talking back at me and hanging up? You’re not being a good girl right now.”

Though you were in a light panic for him, you didn’t like when he scolded you like that. You frowned profoundly, “I-I’m a good girl, Taetae.” Your cheeks were puffed and squishy, he even struggled to put a hard exterior.

You were always so soft even before him. You didn’t like getting scolded despite hearing numerous lectures from your parents. You always wanted to be obedient to those you loved. 

However, Taehyung’s scoldings hit a little differently.

“Oh yeah, does a good girl leave their man without permission?” Taehyung patronized you, he knew how to get you to fear him. You merely shook your head and apologized, but he wasn’t having it. “Words, Petal. Speak up.”

“No, they don’t. I-I’m sorry, Taehyung.”

He lets out a dark chuckle before he pressed his injured lips to your forehead. They felt soft and warm on your skin. “I don’t think you’re sorry, babydoll. Seems like the bad girl needs to be punished.”

You shook your head, lips pushing out into a pout. “No, please.” You breathed. “My paren—”

Taehyung tutted and rolled his eyes before using the hand that held your face to coerce your head down so you can drop down to your knees. “Kneel before me, slut.”

You whimpered weakly as your knees landed on the ground with a loud thud. Your palmed rested in front of his dirtied boots. Your heart palpitated fast in fear of getting caught, but your mind was preoccupied with the unexpected slap from the man before you.

You bit your lips deeply, trying not to make any more sounds. The tears in your eyes threatened to be released but you also held back by squeezing your eyes shut. More so to not give Taehyung satisfaction. But when you peeled them back open and looked up, it was over for you.

He leered down at you, his stone demeanor expanded by the second. You noticed his naked chest raising harshly from the breaths he took. You immediately felt smaller and smaller the longer you stared at each other in this position.

“Be a good girl and take my cock out”. He commanded as he threaded his fingers through your hair and yanked you closer. “Now.”

You didn’t hesitate any longer. Your trembling hands tugged his belt off. You tried your best to quicken up the pace, but it seemed to hold you back as you struggled with the button pants and zipper. Taehyung noticed too so he fastened his grip on you to tell you to hurry up, making you weep.

“S-sorry.” You apologized quietly but it wasn’t enough for him. Once you pulled his pants down, you were met with a familiar bulge in his underwear. When you freed him, his monstrous dick slapped his toned stomach and bounced before you.

Taehyung never failed to amaze you with how colossal he was. The first time you saw it you wanted to run away, but he caught you and you got hooked. His darkened mushroom head was huge while the base was thick and his curved length was long and veiny. It was the prettiest dick you’ve ever seen and seemed that God blessed him very well. 

Nothing happened between the two of you yet but the slit of his tip pearled fluids. You gawked agape with your mouth parted and tongue swiping your lips. His dick twitched, waiting for you to do something but you were too mesmerized.

Impatiently, using his unoccupied hand, he seized your jaw again, keeping your mouth open. “You’re fucking taking too long.” It didn’t take him long to bring your lips to his cock and push all of him in one motion.

You let out a muffled cry with watery eyes. If the tears fell before, they sure did now.  Your throat muscles throbbed around him from the unexpected slamming.  You gagged painfully, especially since his blunt head hit the back of your throat. Your mouth produced trickling drool all over him and down your chin. You were by no means prepared, but Taehyung didn’t seem bothered as he began his harsh pace.

You held onto his muscular thighs. You were crying so much but your sobs were smothered by the cruel thrusts of his rabid cock. Despite the sting, the actions sent a flood to your thin underwear. The familiar warmth covered your stomach, clenching your thighs together for some pressure on your poor leaking cunt.

“Fuck, Petal. Shit.” He cursed lowly. His cavernous moans echoed through the air. “Look at me.” His order sounded like a threat. He stopped his movements; his cock halfway in your mouth. When you opened your heavy lids, he looked so hot and bothered even in your blurry vision. “My pretty girl.” His thumb wiped off the trail of tears. 

You were always pretty in his eyes, smiling, and laughing, even when you get angry at his annoying ass. But he especially thought you were pretty when he made you cry like this. 

Then he went back to bobbing your head brutally on him. Your nails scratched his thighs, leaving indents on them. You retched again, spit drenching all over him. “Fucking amazing for a slut like you. Is this what you wanted, since you’re a fucking bad girl?”

You wanted to say no, but you couldn’t so you shook your head and whimpered. You weren’t a bad girl. You were good!

You were getting lightheaded, feeling so stuffed to even breathe. Taehyung observed your face getting a little pale. You always forgot to learn how to breathe when giving him a blow job.

He pressed into you once more and a bit longer than usual, so he can imprint the feeling of your mouth again into his spank bank. He ultimately pulled out, leaving a long string of drool from his tip to your crimson lips. His dick covered in your sweet saliva. 

You heaved profoundly and wept here and there. You wanted to tell him off, but you were too scared to say anything. You pushed the tears away with the back of your hand and gulped your words but it pained you to do that.

“God, you’re messy,” He laughed cynically at you. “Aww, you’re upset, babydoll?” He asked condescendingly.

“N-no,” You sniffed, trying your best to be strong. “I’m not.”

“Good, you better not.” He said, letting go of your hair. “Stand up.”

This time you were swift on your feet. Though with painful reddened knees, you stood up wobbly and held Taehyung’s biceps for some support. He hooked an arm around your waist, pulling you to be chest to chest with him. 

Being like this, you saw how he towered over you. The height difference wasn’t compared to a gremlin and the Incredible Hulk but he was still way taller than you. He absorbed your appearance, finally taking in how you wore a cute brown bear pajama shirt and matching shorts. The fresh aroma of roses from your body wash and your natural scent swirling into his nostrils sent his pheromones into a frenzy. He wanted you so badly.

“Are you gonna be a good girl and let me fuck you while your parents are sleeping?” His hot breath splashed your face, fluttering you into submission. You unconsciously nodded excitingly but it caused him to tut at you. “I’m not gonna tell you again. Exact words, babydoll.”

“Yes!” You shouted too quickly that only after you caught yourself, covering your mouth with your palms. He smirked at your reaction—so needy for him. Just the way he loved it. Your hands slowly traveled to his shoulders as you batted your beautiful irises at him. You didn’t like swearing, but it came often when you were with him alone. “Uhh, p-please f-fuck me. I’m your good girl, Taetae.”

The perfect answer.

He bent down to peck the tip of your nose then went further down to lick the trunk of your neck. He picked a spot before suckling around to mark his territory. You mewled at the sensation, slithering your arms around his nape. He began moving towards your bed while you stepped back, following his lead until you fell back onto the sheets of your mattress. Your back rested while your legs hung at the edge of the bed.

Your unapologetic eyes wandered his frame.

He kicked his pants and boots off his ankles, leaving him in only his jacket. But even that, he took off. The faded and lighter scars sprawled his torso, showing evidence of fights and brawls through the years. The fresher wounds battered his rough skin and once you saw gauges wrapped around his right hip with blood patches seeping through, you sat up straight with pupils dilated.

“Taehyung, your—”

“I didn’t tell you to speak,” He growled, and stalked to the bed before pushing your shoulder roughly to lay back down. Your body bounced, trying to process what was happening but he tugged your shorts and panties down and off your skin.

He kneeled in front of you, callous palms spreading your thighs apart to reveal your leaking puffy pussy. He didn’t even touch you and you were this soaked. He inhaled deeply, taking in your sweet essence.

Jesus Christ, you were always embarrassed when he did that. It was like his human nature devolved into animalistic instincts. His mouth had a mind of its own, nibbling your inner thighs and placing even more marks on you like he wanted to claim you. You gasped quietly, jerking a little. So sensitive as always. His thumbs stretched your nether lips apart, revealing more of you to him. The petals of your sex opened for him. Your little hole throbbing around nothing but secreted so much wetness, even spotted your tiny clit inflamed, begging to be touched.

But to your luck, Taehyung wasn’t the type to get on with it right away…well he can, but most of the time, he chose not to. No, sir, he took his time with you, to the point you had to drop your pride and beg. His fingers lightly caressed your sex, enough for you to feel it but do no pleasure.

“Tae,” You whined, hands reaching for him but he swatted them away.

“Don’t touch me, put them on your sides.” He seethed through his teeth.

“But—”

Smack! The slap stung your cunt, making you welp loudly. He does another and your head turned to the side. You cried, pressing your face into your blankets. Taehyung continued hitting your pussy until it was red and sensitive.

“Naughty girl!” He slapped your lips once more, jolting your feeble body. “What’s wrong with you tonight? You think just because you’re with your family that you forgot all the rules we had, hm??”

“N-n-no.” You sobbed, shaking your head cowardly. “I promise I reme—”

A knock came on your bedroom door.

Both of your heads shot toward the direction with wide eyes. Another knock happened again before the person on the other end said, “___?” Another knock. “Sweet pea, I heard noises. Are you good?” Then the fucking knob jiggled, but fortunately, you locked it. “Why’d you lock the door? What are you doing?”

Shoot, it was your dad. Your pastor dad. Now your heart was heavy and dropped down to your uneasy stomach. You needed to say something quickly, but no words came out. You shifted to see Taehyung who shrugged and smirked devilishly, leaving you to fend for yourself. 

It was only until your dad said, “Do I need to use the spare keys to open the door?” That you spoke up.

“No! I’m good, I just…I accidentally dropped my phone on my face.” You lied, praying he’d buy it. 

“You and your dang phone.” He complained through the door. Taehyung’s mouth went wide with silent laughter hearing you get scolded. You pursed your lips, shaking your head. He was no help at all because there was a gleam of mischief and it wasn’t a good sign at all. “You need to get off of that thing, sweet pea. You won’t have enough sleep. Remember you’re joining the praise team in the morning.”

“Yes, dad! I know. I’m sorry to—unghhh.” Your sentence was interrupted by the sudden breach from Taehyung’s two long fingers sliding in so smoothly into your cunt. 

“___? ___, are you okay?” Your dad questioned as he continuously knocked on your door.

It didn’t take long for Taehyung to find your g-spot, curling his fingers to muscle memory. His digits pumped into you, and at times, he thumbed your clit. He had your eyes rolling back and biting your lips to stop your struggling whimpers. “I-I’m f-fine right now. D-d-ahh worry!”

“Are you sure you’re fine? You sound like you’re in pain.”

Taehyung dived into your pussy, taking a long lick before wrapping his lips around your sensitive nub. The tips of his fingers did their magic hitting your insides, playing with the squish of immense ecstasy.

You shrieked involuntarily, fisting the blankets under you as you threw your head back. “Yes, I’m fine!” You groaned distressingly. “I-I’m so…touched by my prayer before sleeping.” You swore faintly when Taehyung suckled and flattened his tongue on your clit.

“Prayer to the Lord is always so emotional, sweet pea.” Your father pointed out, but you really didn’t give a shit. “Alright, don’t want to disturb your time. Hope you get some sleep soon though. Good night.”

His footsteps faded away and you mentally cheered that you didn’t get caught, but you had sudden guilt that you basically spoke to your father with a guy eating you out.

Taehyung released his mouth off you to see how you appeared, crumbling at his touch. Your face wrinkled together with your mouth parted, and you saying his name with your pretty voice had his aching cock twitching. He reached over to the hem of your shirt and pulled it up, revealing your soft bare breasts and hardened nipples. “Such a pretty girl. Touched by the prayer? No, no, I’m the one you should be praying to.”

“D-don’t say that.” You moaned he knew you were very much in tune with your spirituality but he also liked to mess around with you.

“Why, Petal? You don’t like what I say, hmm?” He pouted mockingly, pushing his fingers deeper into you. You gasped, digging your head into the mattress. “I’ll give you everything that you want.” These blankets did no justice, you needed to hold onto him. You put your hand out, silently asking to hold him. Taehyung was mean but he wasn’t that mean…at least not today, so he accepted your request and intertwined his vacant hand with yours.

He felt your cunt getting tighter, understanding what was about to happen. Well, remember how Taehyung wasn’t that mean? That statement was taken back because he said, “Don’t come until I say so.”

You whined, giving your best doe-eyes and pinkest pout. “Please, Taetae. Wanna cum.”

Without removing any touch of you, he stood from his feet before covering your entire body with his large one. His face leaned down until your noses touched. “No.” He simply replied, yet his pace wasn’t slowing down. “Hold it.”

Your eyes twitched, wrestling to keep your orgasm under control. He always loved to play with you like this. You attempted to stabilize your breathing, deep and slow breaths. In…and out. In…and out. Yeah, this wasn’t working when Taehyung’s four-inch fingers were jamming into you. The pressure in your stomach tightened, clenching your abdominals to get your reach. It wasn’t a good girl thing to do, but he was mean!

“Can’t! Please!” You begged once more, knowing it couldn’t be stopped.

“No, be a good girl.”

Sorry, Taehyung but it was too late. Your eyes were already going to the back of your head, and you were prepared for the high of it all. But once you started arching your back, he pulled his fingers and hand away from you. You still had your orgasm but it felt so weak going through it without him helping you come down. Your pussy burned unpleasantly.

He glared at you, watching your lousy orgasm go to waste. All because you didn’t listen to him. But whose fault was that? Taehyung will never take the blame.

Pathetically unsatisfied, you came down and exhaled. It physically and emotionally pained you how shitty that orgasm was. And with a pissed-off Taehyung looming over you, it’ll be torture.

“Bad, bad girl.” Taehyung was disappointed at you, something you grimaced over. “I told you not to but you didn’t it anyway.”

“I couldn’t stop it…” You whispered.

“Couldn’t stop yourself? You really are a fucking slutty bad girl.” Getting slightly self-conscious from his jeering eyes, you closed your legs and covered your chest. Your face flushed with post-orgasm and shame.

Taehyung saw your actions, softening his tough demeanor. He lifted you to the middle of the bed before climbing over your concealed body. At this angle, the moonlight struck his body. Every muscle and indent defined, every wound and bruise visible, every part of him shined so beautifully and perfectly. 

His knees spread your legs open to go in between while carefully pulling your arms off your chest. His face goes down to yours, planting little kisses all over your face in hopes he doesn’t make you feel too bad. “Tell me if I go too far, Petal. Don’t hide from me.”

You shook your head, “You’re not. I’m sorry I didn’t listen. I’ll be good, I promise.”

You were soooo good to him. He smiled tenderly, pecking another on the tip of your nose before the demon smirk came back. “Then you’re still gonna get it. Get on your knees.”

You nodded and were about to twist your body when Taehyung grasped your waist and flipped you over. He pushed down your back, arching your ass up before landing a loud slap to it. You cried into the pillow, hugging it as if it was like your protection. He slapped the other cheek, receiving another reaction from you.

“Since you’re weak at controlling yourself,” He grabbed his thick length. His head played with you, gliding across the slit and collecting your saturation until he aligned it with your hole. He puts a little bit of pressure, enough to make you moan for more but then stopped. “Maybe I should punish you by giving more than what you can handle.”

That was…even worse. But you had to accept it, so you could be the good girl for him. 

Knowing he could maim you, he steadily filled you up. You felt every inch of him getting deeper and deeper inside, the stretch of your pussy left a dull ache. He held your hips as he guided himself in. Once he bottomed out, the both of you let out a sigh of relief. Every time you do this, it always felt like the first time because of how big he was.

“So fucking tight, Petal.” He hissed. The sensation of you pulsating had his head thrown back.

After a while, the two of you knew it was time for him to move. Taehyung pulled himself back, leaving his head and then piercing back in. You jolted forward, but he kept you firmly to continue his aggressive yet even pace. Each penetration to your spot left you wailing into the pillow, gripping its covers. The slapping of your skin resonated in your childhood bedroom, the only sound that could be heard other than Taehyung’s heavy breathing and your keens.

“This is what you wanted, right?” Taehyung asked lowly before speeding up his movements, making you louder in the cushion. When he didn’t get the answer that he wanted, he looped your hair around his hand and hauled your upper body until your back pressed to his sweaty chest. You winced in pain but you hooked an arm around his neck.

“I want—unggh, y-yes.” Tears fell on your cheeks. Your neck extended to the side, giving him full access to licking and sucking your skin. “A-am I being a—your good g-girl?”

“You’re such a fucking good girl, Petal. Fucking good girl.” He praised you, muffling into your neck. His other hand kneaded your boob, massaging your nipple between his appendages. You groaned at the added touch. The twist in your stomach rose, sensing another high coming soon. Taehyung noticed you tightening around his ramming shaft, so he slid his hand down to your clit and made circular motions. “Cream around my cock again. Come on, pray to me. Bless my name with your sweet sounds.”

“Taehyung, please, please, ahh.” You breathed heavily, bringing your head back to rest on his shoulder. His length ravaged your insides and his fingers pinched your sensitivity until the knot released. You splashed with blistering ecstasy, almost about to scream at the top of your lungs but his palm covered your pitched sounds. You stifled chants of his name with your rolling eyes, even lapping your tongue over his callous. His thrusts slowed down this time, easing you down. He showered you with compliments, kissing your jaw and cheek. 

Once you came back, he took himself out of you to lay you down. He needed to see your face clearly at least once. He grabbed himself and plunged in again. You keened in volume, but Taehyung shushed you. “Babydoll, be quiet. Don’t want your dad to exorcise the both of us.”

You nodded pliantly and slapped hands over your lips. He moved at his previous pace, yet your sensitivity increased after your two orgasms. You were overstimulated but pushed through to help him meet his climax. He handled your hips where it would leave bruises days after. He hunched over to your chest, latching onto your nipple and swirling it with his tongue.

His touch was a mixture of all—needy, urgent, warm, cool, rough, and supple. You loved it all, you wanted more of him. You quivered into your palms, muting the uncontrollable noises escaping you.

He popped off your nub. His thrusts jerked faster and sloppier, recognizing how close he was. His resonant whimpers rung through your ears. It was like his thumb was magnetic to your clit because it was on you again and flicking rapidly. You shuttered, shaking your head at the intensity. It was too much. “One more for me, Petal. I wanna feel you, please.”

Darn, he said please. There was no way to deny him. After four more pumps, he buried himself still. He painted your insides white with his cum, whining your name. Meanwhile, you tirelessly came again. Blinding white spots came into your vision, ringing happened in your eardrums. The feeling of scorching euphoria spread all over your body as you curved your spine. Your hands were replaced with Taehyung’s mouth, sluggishly kissing you and keeping you as quiet as possible but let’s be real.

He kissed your lips once more before scooting in between your neck and shoulder to leave more smooches on your perspiring skin. His cum inside electrified you, feeling it flood around. It wasn’t until his softening dick pulled out of you, that the dam of cum seeped out your weeping pussy.

What an immaculate sight that he couldn’t resist.

Your energy-drained body thought it was over. But Taehyung had other plans because once you felt his tongue on your enlarged overloaded clit, you gasped in shock. “Taehyung, can’t anymore!” Your fingers attempted to push him off of you but you were too helpless and fatigued to overpower his strength.

He tasted the concoction of both of your cum, playing with the juice all over you and his mouth. He was addicted to the taste, vibrating another low moan to your clit.

You begged for him to stop, but he wasn’t going to finish until you came one more time. He lets go hastily and said, “Last one. Come on, Petal.”

Then there was your last orgasm. It was weaker than the previous, better than the first, but the most agonizing one. It burned but was so divine. You shoved your face into your cushion, crying away from every sensation and emotion you felt. 

Taehyung was finally off of you and went up your body to kiss you again. But you were so lethargic, you couldn’t keep up and lay there like a Twinkie. You didn’t even comprehend how he walked out of your bedroom to look for the bathroom, knowing damn well your parents could see him.

But he made it back alive and unseen with a damp cloth to clean you up. He wiped you clean as you stared at him with so much endearment and swell to your heart even after pounding you like an animal.

After he was done cleaning, he threw the dirtied rag to the ground before climbing back in bed and putting the covers over your naked bodies. “You did so good, ___. My good girl, my favorite girl.” He pressed a kiss on your temple before you fell into slumber.

-

“___, wake up! We’re gonna be late!” Harsh knocks through your door disrupted your dreams. You groaned loudly, wanting to go back to sleep. “Sweet pea, get dressed!” It was your mom calling for you. You rubbed your eyes sluggishly in your raggedy state and rolled over. With squinting lids, you searched for your phone to check the time.

You overslept, and you panicked a bit. You kept your cool, it was fine. This was a small bump, but you’ll get over it.

Suddenly, something or someone shifted beside you. You turned your head before you were fully awake by your heart dropping down and coming out of your ass. A peaceful hibernating and naked Taehyung was by your side, cuddling your body. No wonder you woke up with furnace-like heat against you.

Immediately, you shot out of your bed to stand up but you completely forgot that after a night with Taehyung, you become temporarily paralyzed from the waist down. So you stood up and your feeble numb legs made you drop to the floor.

“___, are you awake? I heard a noise.” Your mom questioned again.

“Yeah,” you grimaced at how raspy your voice was. “I-I just woke up, I’m sorry.” You crawled towards the other side of the bed where Taehyung was.

“You have 30 minutes! I told you not to stay up late at night! You know…”

You tuned out her lecture because you were trying to wake Taehyung up in fear that you might get caught. “Taetae, wake up.” You were usually so gentle because it took him a while to fully get up but you slapped the shit out of him.

His eyes stammered open in surprise. He bolted awake and in pain. He was about to yell but you covered his mouth as you stared with alarming pupils. “It’s morning, my parents are awake. I need to get ready and you need to leave.”

“___! Are you listening to me? Do I need to open your door to get you ready?” Your mother complained, trying to open your door but it was still locked. “I’m getting the key—”

“No, mommy!” You protested. Both of your heads directed to the door with widened eyes. “I swear I’ll get ready. I promise I’ll be quick.”

“Okay…I’m almost done with breakfast.” She announced.

You breathed out in relief, knowing you were clear for now. But once you looked over to the naked man still in your bed, you had another morning task to do. “You need to leave. If I don’t come out in five minutes to go get my teeth brushed, my parents will come to get me out.”

Usually, Taehyung would play around, but he knew this time meant business. He nodded obediently. You rolled away to give him some space to get out and gather his scattered clothes. As he was getting dressed, you watched him.

The bruises, the cuts, and that deep wound were all still there. It made you upset, frowning at the mere thoughts of what Taehyung dealt with before coming to see you. You never liked what business or situation he was in, you didn’t know fully but again, just by looking at it, it was not good.

Taehyung detected your staring, but he was surprised at your sad state. “What’s wrong, Petal?”

“I know I said I don’t wanna know what you do, but it won’t change the fact that I don’t like seeing you get hurt.” You explained. “I’m seeing all of this and I’m worried sick, Taetae.”

He sighed, putting his jacket back on then walking over to pick you up on your feet. You used him as leverage. You acted like a baby dear standing on its legs for the first time, making him chuckle at your struggling state but it was too adorable. “I’m sorry for worrying you. You probably wanted to know what happened and I’ll tell you more about it later, but let’s just say I’m trying to get out of the things.”

Your eyes sparkled with joy, “You are? You’re not just saying that, are you?”

He smiled and shook his head, “I’m not just saying that. I’m serious. I’ve been…in it for a long time but I’ve been also wanting to stop.” You nodded understandingly. “Wanna do this for myself, but for you. I don’t want any of them or other affiliations to find you and use you against our will. It’s not easy, hence why I arrived like this, but it’ll come to an end.”

“Okay,” You grinned sweetly before puckering your lips and waiting for him to come.

He leaned down and accepted you, He circled his arms around your body as he kissed you tenderly. He parted away, foreheads touching. “I’m gonna miss you, Petal.”

“As I said, it’ll only be this weekend. I’ll be back tomorrow night.” You reassured but it wasn’t enough to prevent the pout on his lips. “Come on.”

The two of you walked over to the window. He opened the pane as he prepared his descent. His legs were out hanging, his arms and torso still inside your room. You went over to give him one last kiss for his travels back.

“I’ll miss you too, Taehyung.” You giggled, captivating his entire heart.

Feeling overwhelmed with the thoughts and emotions of you, he blurted out, “I love you so much, ___.” It was the first time either of you said it, and he just realized what he said when his eyes grew the size of saucers and stared at him like he was insane. You were a fish, opening and closing your mouth with no words coming out. You didn’t know how to react, but you definitely felt your heart palpitating briskly. 

Before you could finally say anything, he abruptly goes, “Okay, well, yeah bye. See you in psychology class.” He descended as fast as he could, trying to get away as possible. You didn’t even watch him out the window, which was a good thing for him as reached the ground. While walking away, he was mentally screaming at himself and fisting the air at what he did.

-

You were finally dressed and appropriate for church. You fixed the clip in your hair before walking out of your room and down the stairs. Yet your thoughts were elsewhere and about the boy who was in your room not too long ago.

He said I love you. The fucking bad boy of the town confessed his love for you. What the fuck? First of all, you weren’t even together. You didn’t know what you were, whatever. The only thing you knew was that Taehyung would beat the shit out of any guy that came your way. Second, it was an odd choice to say a confession after a sneaky night at your lover’s childhood house with their parents sleeping at the end of the hallway.

Thirdly, you knew what your feelings were but the little shit didn’t give you a chance to comprehend and tell your side. Ugh, now you have to deal with him opening up once you were back in town.

You reached the kitchen, greeting your parents. Your mom told you to take a seat as she prepared a plate for you. She glanced at you, then took another look intently yet you didn’t seem to notice.

Once seated, your father scrolled his phone for news and reread his notes for his sermon. He gazed up at you, then did a double take before raising an eyebrow yet you didn’t see his stare as your mom walked towards the table with your breakfast.

You were too busy looking down at the settled breakfast before to spot the questionable looks your parents made. Once you were about to devour your eggs and kimchi, your dad stopped you. “What were you doing last night?”

You blinked, “I was on my phone late at night, and did my emotional prayer, remember?” Your father hummed, nodding eerily calmly.

Then your mother spoke up as blunt and knowledgeable as she was. “Then why do you have hickeys all over your neck?”

A/N: There will NOT be a part two :D

All rights reserved for ©️ icedmatchatae 2023 (｡●́‿●̀｡)

OMFG SHAHSBEHHS S PLEASE LOVE ME HAS 1K NOTES THANK YOU ALL FOR PUTTING UP WITH MY FAV IDIOT COUPLE 💛🤍

Please Love Me! | JJK

Pairing: Frat President Jungkook x Succubus Reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Comedy (my humor is broken), Light Angst (because everyone is an dumbass)

Summary: By thirsty popular demand, I present to you a small sequel to Please Teach Me? Your succubus self has been going back and forth to the human realm to be…friends with benefits??? With your first task, Jeon Jungkook. Though you only see it as him, finding the good in his humanity, and helping you with your training, Jungkook suddenly thinks otherwise. Yet, he's in denial.

Until he meets and sees you with Seokjin and thinks you're in a relationship with him??? But is Jungkook willing to break free from his infamous womanizing ways and finally admit his love for you??

Warning: We’re going on another adventure!, Seokjin is the bestest :D, granola x succubus reader, let’s all guess what the fuck is OC feeling rn, BUT GUESS WHO’S IN DENIAL, I wanna say seokjin x OC but let’s not LOL, jealous/possessive jungkook, someone becomes a straight up LOSER, idk what’s going on half of the time. Sir kink is back, dom sadist jk heyyyy, sub masochist oc, the size kink we all know and love, Ass slapping (once with a belt), tail pulling (remember when I said they’re sensitive ;-)), rope bondage, candle wax play fvhidsvsdil, fingering (lowkey fisting), oral (f. receiving), multiple orgasm denials, clit pinching, nipple pinching, dumbification again :D, dirty talk, degradation, again with the tail sucking…but different (oc and jk licking her tail together like a lollipop), cum play, unprotected sex, creamiest of pies, I tried to make it as nasty as the last time

Word Count: 19.3k (yes, small sequel indeed)

A/N: This can be read stand alone but highly recommend reading Please Teach Me? LOL I really wasn't intending a part 2 like I posted this MONTHS ago and dipped but SOOO MANY of y'all wanted sexc demon things so here we goooooo I really pulled this out of my butt and idk if I lived up to the first part's standard . But the smut was longer than expected hreoiheoihg

Also posted on AO3!~~

Flying through the corridors of the dorms, Seokjin’s mind raced faster than he could exclaim how handsome he was—which was a lot. Right now all his thoughts were from what the higher-ups have said…more or less affecting him. But all in all, it had to fucking deal with you.

And now, he needed to have a word with you pronto but has not heard from you for almost…thirty-six hours, which shocked him because he’d typically hear you bitching from a distance.

Once he reached your dorm door, he knocked fire-rapid fists and yelled, “Little one, open this door immediately! I need to share with you some details!” No answer. Then he began kicking in fury, “Fucking bitch, answer! This is important.”

Aggravated and impatient, Seokjin decided to throw in the big guns. With the light use of his highly-acclaimed incubus powers, the demon blasted an energy ball through the wooden entranceway, creating a rather larger-than-regular soot-filled darkened hole. Some of your things even got destroyed in the process, but nonetheless, he opened your door!

He entered fashionably, scanning if there was any sight of a dense yet adorable little succubus. Everything in your living space except your plants and half of your mirror remained intact and still. Bed was neatly made with the mountain of plush toys you’ve accumulated through the months. Books that you never read but were somehow open laid on your study table with your chair pushed out. 

He groaned, rolling his eyes at the discovery. Of course, you weren’t here when he needed you to be here again.

Sometimes, he regretted permitting you to play around with your little first task. 

-

“Hungggghh, sir!” You moaned as you attempted balancing and gripping the cold tiled wall, yet there was nothing to grip on.

Showers of water pricked your heated skin, heaps of steam circulated the closed space, and the echoed sounds of steady and heavy pumps, your whimpering, and his moaning filled the rest of the bathroom.

Jungkook thought it was an excellent idea to shower after practice to get ready for another school event he had to attend, but also have a little bit of fun with you in there. Think of it as killing two birds with one stone.

So now there you both were—you were going into your sixth orgasm while having to tippy toe to level with his fast-pacing industrial hips. You arched your back, pushing your ass at Jungkook so that his dick can go deeper into you. Since you were a lot shorter than he was, the angles were always harder to reach when the two of you stood up.

The slapping of his thighs to your meaty fat progressively grew in volume as he held onto your sensitive tail and the left side of your wing—the way he loved manhandling you. Your moans went a tone higher as you let out sobbing pleas. “Sir, pwease!” Your cramping legs were trembling, slowly losing their strength by the human. “I-I can’t!”

Though the frat president rolled his eyes, he accepted your begging, finding it absolutely endearing. You’ve grown to be accustomed to his wild kinks and likings, but you finally knew when you needed some care to his sadist ways.

He slithered his muscular arms around your soddened waist while keeping his piston thrusts in control. His front pressed onto your wings and back with your little demon tail swinging to the side. He nibbled on an edge of your wings, causing you to moan sharply before he smooched a kiss onto the same area and then maneuvered to the shoulder to peck more snogs.

“My little slut is tired?? We just started.” He smirked at your disheveled face. You didn’t just start, you were in here for almost an hour. His fingers were pruny!

You couldn’t even speak, just blabbering incoherent sounds. One of his hands steered lower to your soaking center, fingers trying to find your inflamed clit. Once you shuttered, he knew he hooked onto it. Making tiny circular motions, you started heaving heavily.

“Kooooooo!” You dragged your new nickname for him, almost like a warning that you were almost there.

His ears twitched pridefully at your calling as he quickened his tempo. His movements became messier, indicating he too was chasing his cloud nine. “Almost there, angel. Cum with me.”

At the immediate order, you snapped, going into ecstasy. Your left eye twitched as you found spots in your vision. Then, Jungkook slammed into you one last time before clenching his stomach. Your squishy cunt walls throbbed around his thickening cock, milking the cum out of him. He coated your insides with white, getting in a few more loads than usual.

Your tail sprayed like a sprinkler, feeling the orgasm wholeheartedly this time. Some of it goes onto Jungkook’s defined abs. But it didn’t really matter because you were in the shower.

Knowing how weak you were after sex, the best he could do right now was lay both of your bodies on your sides on the shower floor. You respired out so hard, he had to move your head to the water splashing your forms so that you can get some hydration. Once you were semi-stabilized, he finally pulled out of you. You winced at the stimulation but he kissed your forehead and murmured praises.

“___, are you okay?” Jungkook asked. Your eyes were closed, with your chest raising slowly.

You hummed softly with a nod before peeling open your eyes. “Why do you have so much stamina even after your practice?”

The human chuckled at your complaint and shrugged, “Maybe I always have energy when I’m with you.”

“Please use at least 25% of that energy into something else, like knitting.” You mumbled as you turned yourself to face him. “Are we done showering?”

“You still need to clean your body, maybe somewhat more since we made lo—I mean have sex.”

“Please clean me?” You always asked so sweetly, with no rush, no hint of irritation, but super whiny.

Yet Jungkook would always say yes to you. “Of course, angel.”

-

You were finally out of the shower. Jungkook carried your exhausted form back to his room. He puts on one of his shirts on you (you had the habit of sucking back your wings inside of you for this reason only) and even moisturizes your skin with a body balm. Once he finished getting you dressed, you situated on his bed like a starfish. He did the same routine on himself but only threw on a pair of boxers.

“Angel, I have something for you!” He bounced towards his backpack and ruffled the insides to retrieve the content.

“What is?” You were fatigued after the intense session. Even with having someone like a bunny-infused bouncy house like Jungkook, you never improved from your feeble power.

He dramatically pulled his “gift” to you and raised it over his head like he was enacting the beginning scene of The Lion King. Enjoying your entertainment, you went along and stared up, rasping at the big reveal.

You sat up and levitated up in joy, flying towards the human with grabby hands. “Granola!!” You cheered like a child.

“And it has honey-coated pecans and almonds.” He said proudly. “I got two packs…” You squealed, suddenly twirling in the air. “But just one for now. You inhale it and get a tummy ache if you get more.” Once you stopped your twirls, he handed you the bag of your favorite human treat. 

You snatched it off of him before hugging it like it was the love of your life. Distracted and mindlessly, you began drifting away to a corner of the room but Jungkook pulled you back down by the hips to sit you with him on top of his covers. He kissed your temple, gripping his hold around you. 

“Thank you, Jungkook! This is wonderful.” You continued to not face him, staring at the granola so you didn’t see the endearing and longing eyes that the human had on you. “I will save it for home.” You threw the treat into the tote bag that was wide open on the side of the bed. Jungkook got for you a while back when you kept carrying your treats and clothes with your arms. He said it was more efficient for you.

The human laid the both of you down as he nuzzled into your neck. You whined at how touchy he was being and didn’t help that it progressed the more you saw him. “Angel, you don’t like my touch? I thought you loved it.” You felt him smirking which caused you to blush red.

“I didn’t say I didn’t like it. But I would like my space.” You pouted as you distanced him away slightly, making him grumble. “You radiate much body heat for a human. It feels like I’m back in the demon realm.”

Jungkook hummed, faulty listening to your speaking only because he felt colder without you fully in his arms. “How is the demon realm? Is it nice there? What’s it like?”

There he went again. After every session or when you’re back on Earth (you learned that’s what the human realm was called), Jungkook seemed to be very interested in learning more about you. Whether it was about you, what you liked, and this time it was about the demon realm. Maybe he was just curious, which you didn’t mind at all, you were a succubus after all and it was the least you could do for him.

For the past months, you’ve been sneaking back and forth to Earth after completing your first task, Jeon Jungkook. Still the frat president of Beta Tau Sigma, still an active partygoer, still what humans call a fuck boy, but now your unofficial task helper. One of the reasons why was that you grew comfortable with him. You technically didn’t need to have a different human all the time when you were completing your training tasks, and Jungkook just so happened to be willing to help you without getting anything back besides your cunt and being.

Typically it was not a big deal as a succubus and other demons travel to the realm, but since you were still in training, it can be quite controversial. When you go on Earth, you always needed supervision in case something happens, especially with a demon like you.

Seokjin would be surveilling you or communicating with you through your minds when you do have tasks while documenting your experience. But when you weren’t completing anything, he doesn’t look over you like a child—though, at times, he begged to differ. So when you’re on Earth without guidance, there was really no telling what would even happen. You could kill someone and your authorities wouldn’t even know. You weren’t fully trained, and you obtained some powers, but overall you were still in need of oversight. Which was now. Seokjin didn’t know you were here.

But you didn’t think you were doing anything terrible. Sure, your exams were borderline passing, you still made your mentor uncomfortable, you were fucking a human behind the higher-ups’ backs and at times, you’d accidentally absorb some of Jungkook’s life force (but you always try to give it back), and you may have begged Seokjin to grant you permission to even do what you were doing, but you weren’t doing anything wrong.

In a way, you were surprisingly progressing! You’ve completed many tasks over the months with Jungkook, got to know more of the human culture, and learned new kinks that you liked with him, maybe even only him.

Though Jungkook was a bit rough around the edges, you swiftly learned that he was indeed a sweet human to you. When he wasn’t fucking your guts out and pulling on your tail like naughty mischief, he liked taking care of you. He washed you up, fed you human foods, gave you piggybacks, kissed you on your forehead, stared at you instead of completing his human studies…what else?? Oh yeah! He always complimented you in your dresses, called you beautiful or ravishing, and even exchanged numbers with the cellular device you kept to talk to or video chat with him when you were away. 

All that was listed made you think about how friendly he was to you! Get this—he was usually quite mean to his friends. You constantly heard from other succubi how humans can be really selfish and vile, but it wasn’t like that with Jungkook! He was so kind to you, except in the bedroom.

Nevertheless, you couldn’t believe how much good he had in him to be willing to help you. You couldn’t be any more grateful, such a wonderful human man!

“Oh! It’s much different to what humans think it is, especially when they like to affiliate Hell with us.” You simply replied as you shifted forward and laid your head on his chest. Jungkook liked that, so you did it. “The simplest answer is to say Hell but we’re far from Hell. There are many realms where many creatures like witches, trolls, and us demons reside!”

The human asked while he gently played with your horns, keeping you calm. “And where would that be for you, little succubus?”

“Naameth.”

“You always fascinate me every single time.” Jungkook blushed, but when he realized what he was doing, he slapped it off of his face. Yet you didn’t even acknowledge or see it.

“I guess so.” You shrugged, getting off his chest as you sat up. “I am a succubus and you’re a human. Many things are different from our kinds.”

“Do you think I could visit Naameth?”

“No, absolutely not.” You deadpanned.

Jungkook suddenly smiled smugly, assuming that there was a bit of poison to your tone indicating you were jealous. “Why, angel? You think my amazing human charm will attract other succubi and that I won’t want you anymore?”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “No, because you will die.” His fucking smirk vanished and his face went pale. “Remember that succubi feed off human men. I even did that to you on accident. I can give your life force back, but that won’t mean others will.”

Suddenly Jungkook’s eyes lit up, “So you care for me? Care if I die.”

You nodded slowly, “Yes. I need you.” For some reason, his heart fluttered at your reply. His lips curled upwards. “I need your help with my tasks.” Okay, it went back down. “I refuse to find another one.”

“O-oh, okay…” Jungkook couldn’t help but feel upset about that. He expected that feeling to be let go all those months ago, but it stayed and he didn’t like that one bit.

“I can take you to the other realms.” You added in, without realizing what you’ve done. “They’re as lovely as Naameth. We can go to the waterfalls, forests, maybe even hiking, I know you love those things. I can let you try other foods besides human food because…” You rambled on and on but Jungkook stopped listening to observe how eccentric you were being and planning trips in the future with him. It caused him to roar in glee on the inside.

While you kept blabbering off, he encircled his veiny arms around you and kissed your cheek, making you shut your mouth. You slowly turned your head, revealing the bunny smile you enjoyed seeing on him. He then proceeded to attack you with kisses to your neck, making you laugh, a sound that brought jubilance to his ears.

But before you could say anything, you both heard a knock followed by an opening of the door. Luckily, you were dressed, unlike in other instances. These men in this fraternity do not know how to wait.

On the other side was Jimin, one of Jungkook’s close friends, grinning at the both of you as he shook his head with his slit eyes. “Again, with your demon role-play? Jungkook didn’t expect you to like it that much.” You forgot that your tail and horns were exposed again. It was a miracle that his friends bought the whole “demon kink” and you weren’t levitating during the disruptions or else you’d be more fucked than you already were.

Shyly, you parted away from Jungkook and pulled your tail to your back. You grabbed a pillow to hold onto, covering yourself a bit. As a succubus, you were naturally comfortable with your body and showing some skin. However, you also didn’t like letting other men see you bare except for Jungkook.

Slightly annoyed, the frat president leered at his shit-grinning friend and asked, “The fuck do you want?”

“I wanted to talk to you about the event tonight. But I see that you’re nowhere near ready and we have to leave in less than an hour.” Jimin reminded him, checking his boxer-covered friend out.

Jungkook cursed under his breath as he palmed his face and rubbed his skin aggressively. The school event mentioned was a dinner with the university’s board of directors, ensuring a good relationship with not only the dean but maintaining excellent and sufficient status for the fraternity.

“Do you wanna talk out of the room or?” Jungkook questioned.

“Right here is fine.” The shorter man shrugged. “Nothing top secret that ___ can’t hear.”

“Alright, I’ll talk to you while I’ll get ready then.” The frat president got off the bed. He opened his closet and then resumed the conversation with Jimin.

Meanwhile, you too had an unexpected chat but it wasn’t all that exciting as your stomach dropped in fear and scared the shit out of you. “Hello, you little motherfucker! Where the fuck have you been?”Your one and only mentor yelled into your mind out of nowhere.

You screamed and flinched from the ambush, flinging the pillow to the wall as a reflex, causing the human men to stop and look at you questionably. You made eye contact back before smiling and giving a thumbs-up that you were okay. Weirded out (well, more so Jimin), they continued their talk again.

“Seokjin, Seokjin.” You whispered so that the humans wouldn’t hear you. But it was so quiet that Seokjin found it slightly inaudible.

“Why are you whispering? This isn’t a time to whisper, little one!” Seokjin complained. “Are you in the fucking human realm again?” You couldn’t get in a word as he continued his rant. “Of course, you fucking are. That’s where you go if you’re not here. Look, now is not the time to bitch what I say. But you must come back here this instant.”

“Why?” You asked softly and he finally heard you.

“I have important news. In short, you’re kinda fucked.”

“Wait, what? Are you serious right now?” You unknowingly shouted, jumping out of bed as you paced around the room. “What do you mean I’m kinda fucked? What did I even do?!?!”

As you were distressed, Jimin raised an eyebrow while observing you. “Yah, is she okay? Why is she talking to herself?”

Though Jungkook knew what you were doing as you had to tell him when he first saw what Jimin was seeing now, he didn’t know how to explain the situation well. “Uhh, she’s praying?”

“Praying?” The shorter man questioned incredulously. “Doesn’t seem like praying…”

“It is…she does it randomly from time to time. It’s part of her faith.” Jungkook responded the best he can. “Just don’t worry about it. If you interrupt her, it won’t be good.”

Cue back to your freak out. “I say kinda fucked because there is a bit of good news. It may even be a relief for you.” Seokjin clarified.

“You could have fucking said that instead of telling me I’m fucked, Seokjin!”

“Seokjin?” Jimin faced back to you again. “What religion has a Seokjin?”

Okay, that was a name that the frat president heard but never understood but he couldn’t think further into it just yet. “Uhhh, Jinnism. It’s common from where she’s from.” His friend was about to protest but Jungkook beat him to it. “Dude, just fucking ignore her right now. Talk to me about what you wanted me to hear in the first place.”

“Yeah, sure. Whatever.” You can sense Seokjin shrug casually and unbothered by your reply. “Either way, you must come back to Naameth immediately.”

You sighed, “Give me ten minutes.”

“No, you can’t tell me what to do. I’m supposed to tell you what to do.”

“Seokjin, give me fucking ten minutes. I’ll get there, I promise!” Again, Jimin eyed you and your “prayer” but decided to let it go.

“Fine. Do what you have to do before coming. I’ll be seeing you soon.” Seokjin huffed, giving in. “By the way, I made a giant hole in your room door.”

“You fucking dick! AGAIN? I have to get that repaired!!” You complained, but he was already gone and out of your mind. You rolled your eyes before plotting back on the mattress. You kicked your feet up in fury and whined into the duvet. You rolled like a fish on the sheets to exert more of your frustration. 

Jimin couldn’t help but scrutinize you once again for the last time. “Dang, that’s your type, man.” He mumbled more to himself, but Jungkook who was already dressed heard his commentary.

“Fuck off and get out of my room!” Before Jimin could see him in a blushing frenzy, the frat president pushed his friend out without warning. Though the shorter man protested, a slamming of the door sealed the demand.

The frat president exhaled while fixing his tie, loosening it for now. “___! What’s wrong, baby?” Oh my goodness, why the fuck did he say that? He didn’t catch himself before saying it. Fuck, he hoped you didn’t notice.

Though he hoped you did.

But like always, you don’t seem to bother acknowledging it. “I have to go back to my realm now.” You rolled to see him.

Damn, he wore black and grey checkered dress pants with a black dress shirt tucked into them, exposing his petite waist. Buttons on his shirt were unbuttoned. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbow; his forearms were revealed with parts of his tattoos shown on the right of him. The thin fabric practically adhered to his skin as his muscles protruded out. All he needed to do was style his hair, but it didn’t matter either way because he looked so fucking hot you needed to cleanse your mind…and you were a sex demon.

“I think I’m in trouble.” You frowned.

“In trouble? Oh, fuck. Are you okay?” With enlarged irises, panic ran through Jungkook. “Holy shit! Will I be okay? Am I gonna die?”

“No, no, Koo. You won’t die.” You always tried to comfort him because he has had near-death experiences caused by you. That gave him a bit of relief. “I won’t let anything happen to you. If you die, it would be by the hands of me.” Never mind, his stomach churned and he felt like throwing up. “But I won’t kill you! I told you I would never!” You tried to save what little reassurance he had from you.

He exhaled, trying his best to stay positive and lighten the mood. “So you need to go back now?” You nodded. “Do you know why you’re in trouble?”

You shook your head, “No, Seokjin said I’m kinda fucked but he said there might be good in it.”

Again with that name.

The entire time Jungkook has been…friends with benefits??…with you, you’ve always mentioned someone or something called Seokjin. He assumed it was someone since you’ve always been talking to him through your mind, but he didn’t necessarily know who it exactly was.

It was constantly “Oh, Jungkook, I have to go. Seokjin is waiting for me,” or “Hold on, Seokjin wants to talk to me.” Even when you were fucking the human, you would be like “Seo-k-jin! Pl-please n-not right no—ahhhhh!”

The point he was getting at was he didn’t know who the fuck Seokjin was, and it made him annoyed. But he refused to ask about it because he thought you’d probably think he was jealous, which he clearly wasn’t. He was just fucking curious about who the fuck this Seokjin was and how important this Seokjin was for you to drop everything to go to Seokjin and not be with him?

He couldn’t resist it this time.

“Who’s Seokjin?” He began.

“Huh?” You gaped at him confusingly. You noticed how he bit his lip and met your contact with a much more intense stare.

“Who’s Seokjin? You’ve been mentioning and saying that name all the time.”

“Hmmm.”

That’s it? That was what all you had to say about Seokjin?!?!??!

“Oh, Seokjin. Yeah, don’t worry about him.” Him??? “Just another sex demon, he’s an incubus.”

First of all, Jungkook felt his chest twist when he heard it was a dude! Second, he was a fucking demon!! Of course, he would be. What else would he be? A gremlin? But the human betted this demon was ugly and revolting. Lastly, why did it sound like you were hiding something? Were you trying to change the subject to avoid it? What was going on?

Jungkook got pulled out of his mind when you changed into your clothes. “Anyways, I truly have to go which makes me sad because I was hoping to stay with you tonight.” You slipped out of his shirt and pulled over the purple sundress Jungkook bought for you.

His lips quirked up as he slowly walked to you. He patted your head before caressing your cheek. You were so short that you had to stretch your neck up. You reached the top of his chest and it made his heart melt. You made an innocent smile and he wanted to die in moe.

“Unfortunately, I also had plans tonight,” Jungkook spoke out, feeling rather bummed.

“That would have been okay! I would have waited for you in your room!” Now, why would you say that? He was going weak in the knees as is, you made it worse.

“Though that would be fun and kind of you, maybe going back would be good.”

“I promise if I don’t get punished, I’ll come back to see you soon. Okay, Koo?” Your Bambi eyes sparkled, swearing to your statement. You truly did want to stay, but you had duties…or shit that you had to deal with.

Jungkook had so much adoration when you promise things like that. As cute as you were, you kept your promises no matter what and that was one of the purest things about you.

“Of course, angel.” He pulled you into his chest, embracing you once more before you depart.

-

Jungkook walked down and outside with you as a courtesy and he wanted to spend a couple of more minutes with you.

Though you could teleport to your realm, he realized how suspicious his friends would be if you left without them seeing you leave. Most of the frat members liked to lounge around the kitchen and living room. Being in a household filled with testosterone, all the men could sense a woman or any feminine body in and out of the house like a built-in radar detector in their brains.

While you walked down with Jungkook, you had a habit of intertwining your fingers with his. You didn’t think much of it as you grinned casually towards the front door, but the frat president flushed like an idiot and cheesing a little too hard. Playful winks were on the two of you. His frat brothers noticed it, especially when their frat president was with you.

The human opened the door. You stepped out and he followed behind before closing it, giving a some privacy. He observed the area, perceiving that the coast was clear for you. You were ready to go, waiting for Jungkook to give you the go. But the human disliked seeing you off again. It was common for him to do this. You came often, but not as often as how he wanted. You’d come back a day or two later, but sometimes, it would be more than a week. If it was his choice, he never wanted you to leave.

You thought about how winsome he was every time you left. Your task looked so funny and lovesick that it felt so real. You then held his cheeks, pushing them together to puff them up.“Stop being sad, Jungkook.”

“I’m not sad!” He mumbled, leaning into your touch. “It’s just…”

“Do you want me to video call you when I’m done with Seokjin?”

The fuck you mean when you’re done with Seokjin? “Yes.” He said with no hesitation. “Text me when you get home too.’ You grinned, nodding like the adorable demon you were, and let go of his face. He sighed at the sight of you.

Jungkook bent down, closed his eyes, and puckered his lips. He hoped to feel yours on the other side, but the more he leaned in, the more breeze he got. He almost fell forward and ate shit. He peeled back his eyes to not see you in front of him anymore.

His head pivoted to the side, finding you skipping down the walkway. You looked back at him before saying, “Bye, Koo!” You fluttered your fingers at him, then you disappeared into thin air. You basically Houdini’d.

Despite that, Jungkook’s smile grew as he replayed the very memory of you saying goodbye. He loved when you said that nickname. He groaned in amazement and couldn’t wait to see you again.

With his rabbit teeth still on display, he went back inside. When he closed the door, he rested his back on the wooden surface. His eyelids closed shut as he tried stabilizing his heart rate. It was going faster than the last time. 

"Dude, you're fucking whipped."

He snapped his eyes open, finding all his frat brothers half-circling him with Cheshire Cat-like smiles. "Pfft, no I'm not." Jungkook pushed himself off and stood tall on his feet, attempting to be all cool and casual. “Just another fuck…”

“Just another fuck, yeah? What is this, the three hundredth time with her alone?” Hoseok retorted, rolling his eyes.

“Seeing you all bright and dandy like the Teletubbies seeing the fucking sun!” Yoongi mentioned. "She's practically curing you, a fucking angel if you ask me."

"So you think she’s an angel…" Jungkook side-eyed his friend.

“We refuse to hear your rancid details.” Namjoon gagged before making a sour expression.

“Well, I’m never telling you.” The frat president informed. “Not like I wanna tell you anything between me and her.”

“Oooo, keeping secrets instead of stories??? What’s going on? What happened to the Jungkook we knew and put up with?” Hoseok laughed, calling his hands to emphasize his statement.

“Fuck off, Hobi Hyung!” Jungkook couldn’t defend himself on that because what happened between the two of you was really between each other, especially with your succubus status.

"JK, this has been going on for months.” Jimin pointed out, trying to be a little mindful compared to the others. Though Jungkook was the frat president, he was the youngest amongst them which meant they can fuck around and get away with it from time to time. “You're never with the same chick unless…Oh my God, are you in love with her?"

“Jungkook in love? Has the world revolved counterclockwise?” Namjoon teased, raising his fingers to his opened mouth like he was in shock.

"Can't blame him. She's so pretty and kind." Yoongi reflected, thinking back to a memory of you back at the party where you practically met everyone. “A bit of an airhead though and has so much shame.”

Yes, all of us were being reminded of how much of a fuck boy frat president of Sigma Tau Beta, Jeon Jungkook, was. He had a different person at every party, every gathering, every lunch, every day, every hour, it shocked them how he didn’t catch anything. But finally, he did.

He caught feelings for you.

"She eats our granola though. How am I supposed to eat my yogurt?" Hoseok complained.

“Shut up you idiots, I'm not in love," Jungkook stated, shaking his head in denial. “She just wants my dick and she has such a great p…beautiful personality.”

YeAh, hE’S deFINitelY noT iN lOvE.

“You brought her to your family’s house during your birthday dinner!” Jimin countered.

“She was visiting that time! Remember she doesn’t go to school here anymore.” Jungkook reasoned, trying to cover the lies. You both had to create lies about you not being in classes with him and Jimin. “I didn’t want to leave her here!” 

“You could have left her here with us.” Hoseok alluded, a smirk morphing on his face.

“Absolutely fucking not.”

You, a clueless succubus, in a house alone with other men that weren’t Jungkook? Nope!

To be honest, he may have had to because though it may not be intentional, he guessed that due to your succubus aura, you kinda charmed his father a bit.

Of course, his mother was there to smack the sense back to him.

“You cuddle with her and fall asleep on the couch, and when you wake up, you carry her to your room!”

“I see you smiling at your phone and I look over to see you texting her. She barely even responds besides an “ok,” or “sure.” She doesn’t even get your memes sometimes.”

"You also take her out almost every weekend and if we have a party, you're either alone or with her. You don't even try anymore."

"What's your point?" Jungkook muttered, his attention roaming elsewhere but his friends. He even kicked his feet in frustration to ease off his embarrassment. 

"JEON. JUNGKOOK. YOU. ARE. WHIPPED. FOR. ___!" The older group of friends shouted in unison.

“No, I’m not! How many times do I have to fucking tell you that I don’t have any feelings for ___?” The rosy-coated cheeked frat president was persistent, he refused to believe such accusations. “If I did, which I’m not, she doesn’t even like me!”

“Huh, well, we’re unsure about that too,” Hoseok told them. “We don’t see any part of her liking you.”

“She did make him a gourmet meal when he passed an exam!” Yoongi notified, snapping his fingers.

“She does praise you even the smallest shit.” Namjoon scoffed. “But you shouldn’t compliment the bare minimum in my opinion.”

“She even is willing to role-play JK’s demon kink!” Jimin boasted, adding to Jungkook’s humiliation.

“Okay! All of you, for fuck’s sake, let this go. Nothing is going on with us. I don’t love her and…she doesn’t love me.” In that last part, the frat president said it to convince not only them but himself. “We’re only fuck buddies, that’s it.”

“Oh, sure, and if Hoseok and I make out, we’re just bros, right?” Namjoon snorted jokingly. “There’s always one person that catches feelings.”

“And it’s you, bud.” Yoongi patted his youngest friend’s back in empathy. “And you’re downright bad.”

“Yeah, you may be feral for her, but that doesn’t mean she like that back.” Hoseok brutally mentioned, which earned a few glares around.

“Hobi Hyung! Don’t say that. We don’t know what she thinks.” Jimin lightly pushed his friend as his scolding. “But Jungkook, he is lowkey right. I mean didn’t you play with others’ emotions before?”

“Yes, but not for months!”

“So? Girls are much more cunning than we are. She’s probably waiting until she destroys you.” Namjoon shrugged.

His friends were not helping at all. They were throwing shade about how much of a player he was too. In fact, they were making him question his relationship with you, which was good…in a way? 

“I’m not sure if you’re trying to support me or insult me. But either way, you bitches suck ass right now!” Jungkook exclaimed.

“We just don’t want you to get your hopes up if she doesn’t like you. Unlike you, she’s not obvious with her emotions besides confused and whining.” Jimin voiced out. “We've never seen you like this. It’s wild and scary.”

Jungkook rolled his eyes, getting immediately tired of this conversation. “Look, Hyungs. I’m not obvious nor do I have feelings, and that is my final answer. You’re all being insane and stalkerish, like observing me and her? Do you even have lives beyond this story?”

“Probably, not,” Jimin answered. “We’re only saying.”

“Well, stop.” Then Jungkook finally ended the discussion as he stomped away from them and back to his room.

When he slammed his door shut, he felt the heat intensify in him. He rubbed his face with his palms as he treaded around his bedroom, thinking about what his friends said. Him being in love with you?? Thinking about that…it would take a deranged enchantress to make him head over heels, with googly eyes, and on his knees to be in love.

Well, for starters, you weren’t deranged…he assumed. As for an enchantress, you certainly weren’t that. You were a demon, a sex demon, a succubus that uses human men to gain power. As a matter of fact, Jungkook was expected to fear you the moment he saw you. But that didn’t happen, considering he threw you around like a cum cloth the first meet.

Yet as time went on, nothing bad overall—highlighting because you would accidentally drain Jungkook’s life and burned him sometimes—happened. If anything, a budding bond flourished between the two of you. How was it that a teeny succubus like yourself was able to get him through your cute smile? Your compassionate presence? Your everlasting patience? Your baffling innocence? Your exasperating oblivion? Fuck, this was bad.

He wasn’t in love, he couldn’t, he can’t. It wasn’t right, it was against all his values and beliefs.

Yeah, right. When did his values and beliefs incorporate a demon into the picture?

Despite getting to sleep with you, any other thing with you was deemed pointless in his upsetting reality. You weren’t as cuddly as him, you didn’t initiate kisses, and you answered his questions objectively. All were similar to what he does to women from his fuck boy mindset.

Yet he hasn’t been with any other apart from you when you came back into his life after the initial time. That’s what’s frightening about all of this. He was willing to drop everything to be with you. He chose not to be with other women. Instead, he thought about what places to bring you like the carnival, wrestling, sky diving, or any rigorous physical activity he could think of to make you fit. He hated it but wanted more.

You know what? Fuck you. Perhaps he should be done with you and your ways. He should tell you that he refused to help you any longer because you’re fucking up his lifestyle, the person he was before and quite enjoyed. He had no regrets prior, and now he was contemplating all his pondering decisions apart from his choice with you.

So basically fuck you and your bomb-ass cunt.

A buzz rang through his room. His phone vibrated on top of his bedside table. He went up to grab his device before unlocking it. It was a simple message from you.

My pretty Angel 😇😩😍🥰: home!

Human Jungkook: Please safe and good luck angel! Text me when you’re done

Human Jungkook: Actually video call me I wanna see your face :-(

Five minutes later…

My pretty Angel 😇😩😍🥰: ok

Jungkook didn’t realize how much he was beaming like a damn idiot. Heart thumping at your two short ass replies. He sat on his gaming chair and giggled like a schoolgirl, swinging his legs up. Oh, how he wished he look at you again. Pulling his phone to his sternum, he yearned for you and hoped you were alright.

Yup, definitely not whipped.

-

“Listen here, you little shit! You can’t keep disappearing on me like that!” Seokjin scolded you as he floated around the office as you sat on his desk with your head hung down. “I already permitted you and hid it away from the higher-ups. The least you can do is notify me before you’re going to your dick appointment!”

“I-I’m sorry. I took advantage of your consent, I should have told you I was on Earth.” You nodded, taking in his yelling.

“Yeah, well. For that, the higher-ups found out and now they wanna expel you!”

“What?!” Your head snapped up with your bottom lips pushed out. How was that even possible? You were a succubus, all succubus had to go through this training no matter what. It was part of your life! Was there even such thing as expulsion within your training? Was there anyone else who got expelled? Were you the first dumbass to get kicked out? “Really, Seokjin? Awww, noooo.” You shivered in panic and you started crying. Tears falling down your reddened puffy cheeks and weeping gradually escalated. You’ll be nothing anymore, you weren’t worthy enough to call yourself a succubus.

“Nah, I’m just fucking with you.”

His fucking windshield wiper laugh belted over your softened cries, echoing off his office walls. “You should have seen your face. It looked like I stole a part of you and annihilated it!” He slapped his knee because it was that funny he pranked you like that. But an immediate glare from your blinking ruby-infused irises drilled through your mentor’s delight, causing him to stop himself promptly. His spine aligned upwards and he cleared his throat, apologizing feebly.

“It’s nice to fucking know that my own mentor wants to see me crash and burn!” You hissed, crossing your arms over your chest. You levitated up and rushed to him with your scarlet vision and newly developed fangs that grew last month. Seokjin winced in fright, trying to hide behind his lamp. “That was so fucking mean! You know how much I wanna complete this training!”

“Put those fangs away!” Seokjin shrieked. He wished he developed to be a little bit more mindful. You weren’t as weak anymore compared to when you first started, having obtained powers and other features. You were pretty fucking weak in contrast to him anyways, but it still freaked him out.

You moved backward, morphing your teeth and pupils back to their normal size. Your burgundy wings fluttered behind you while your tail slithered like a serpent. Your mentor got out of his hiding place and adjusted himself before continuing his thoughts. “Okay, consider that as punishment for not telling me where you were.”

“Whatever,” You rolled your eyes but there was still sadness in them. “Am I really expelled though?”

“No, you aren’t,” Seokjin reported honestly, relieving you. “But the higher-ups did find out.”

“How?”

“For the record, I didn’t know. But when I would turn in your completed tasks, they noticed a pattern and got suspicious of how you were able to complete so many with ease.” He explained. “Makes sense, considering you’ve been in this training for years and this is a year-and-a-half preparation.” You shrugged as you understood that part. “They didn’t tell me specifically, because they knew I’d tell you, but I think they hired someone to follow you back on Earth. They saw you with your human.” You gasped. “They brought me in today to inform me about it.”

“What did you say?”

“I naturally said that this was all your fault and that you should take all the blame because that’s what you wanted in the first place.”

So much for him protecting you…

“So am I in trouble?” You were perplexed, creasing your eyebrows.

“This is where the good news comes in. You’re actually not.” He reassured, releasing all the stress that has been built up today. “They weren’t mad because you’ve made tremendous progress in the past months as opposed to starting years. To be honest, all they want is for you to fucking pass and if it involves indirectly cheating or using a human for assistance, they’ll turn a blind eye to your case.”

This was good, you didn’t need to worry about keeping secrets and sneaking around. You could go into the human realm without thinking you’d get caught. A weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

“However, they wanted safety precautions, knowing that you are a walking hazard,” Seokjin informed, grabbing your file from his desk drawers. “Seeing that you have a human task helper, they thought it was a great idea that I meet Jungkook.”

“Why do you need to meet him?” You asked, not seeing the purpose of it all. You weren’t killing the human!

“Well, while I instruct, give you advice, and keep a record of your training, it’s only fair I meet the person that’s helping you.” Your mentor clarified. “We’ll be able to collaborate and work together with what’s best for you. You know improve your skills, maintain and enhance your strengths, analyzing in-field observations.”

“Like a damn parent-teacher conference?” You questioned, showing a face of “are you serious right now?”

“Correct, little one.” Seokjin grinned, blooping the tip of your nose. “Plus, I also wanna get to know who Jungkook is besides that task folder. Like how the fuck he was able to get you in a chokehold for him? I can’t even put a leash on you!”

“But who’s who?” You wondered aloud, thoughts going in another direction and ignoring Seokjin. “Would Jungkook be the pare—”

"I'm gonna stop you right there because that's wrong on so many different levels." He interrupted you, trying to steer it back to the main topic. “In conclusion, I must see him. It's only fair if he's helping you and I'm your mentor. After that, higher-ups would want a full report on how capable this human is. They think he’s a wizard since he can even deal with you as is.“

-

Seokjin meeting Jungkook was somewhat concerning. Though your mentor was present at that frat party where you met your task, Seokjin didn’t officially meet him. All your mentor knew was through the paperwork he had for you and that was it.

If you learned anything about Seokjin, it was that he was a fucking menace to you. Though you had a tendency to fuck things up yourself, at times he liked making things worse. He said that it was to challenge you but it was a load of bullshit. Always making damn excuses.

Still, you never saw Seokjin interacting with human men and that idea terrified you. What if he exposed your secrets? Like when you had to practice oral with a cucumber to impress Jungkook! You didn’t want him to know. 

What if he was mean to Jungkook and scare him away? You couldn’t have that; you didn’t want to stop seeing Jungkook. You liked being with the human. His presence made you feel comforted. He always cheered you up when you felt like you weren’t a good enough succubus. He made you feel safe even when being a sadist in the bedroom. You didn’t want anyone else but him!

Like who was also gonna help you with your task??!! You didn’t wanna go through that process again.

But it had to happen whether you liked it or not. If Seokjin meeting Jungkook was the only way for you to get away with in succeeding your training as well as obtaining permission from the higher-ups, then so be it.

Currently, you were video chatting with Jungkook as promised. He kept yapping his mouth about what happened during the school event while you rested on your bed listening in and out. “Overall, it was sooo fucking boring and they expected us to dance on the dance floor.” Jungkook scoffed as he loosened and undid the tie around his neck. “Like how can I shake my ass to Party Rock Anthem? Like at least Gasolina!”

“What are those words?” You rolled over to the other side of your bed.

Jungkook opened his mouth but quickly closed it, “I’ll tell you later. Als—” He stopped for a second, observing your fallen expression. “___, what’s on your mind?”

“Numerous things and one of them has to deal with you.”

The human smirked cheekily, thinking something else about what you said. “Baby, be more clear. I wanna hear the words out that pretty mouth of yours.”

“The higher-ups of my succubus training, aka the succubi and incubi council, found out about you.” You notified. “They saw that I’ve been sneaking to Earth when I’m not supposed to.”

Jungkook felt like he was about to throw up. “T-t-they found out about me? Oh my God, AM I GONNA DIE?”

“No, Koo, you’re not gonna die!” You had to tell him again. “I need your help…”

“What do you mean? Aren’t I helping you already?”

“It’s another thing. I’m sorry I keep asking you for all of this. You must think I take too much from you.” You gloomed, letting out a few of your inner thoughts. You didn’t want Jungkook to think that you were taking advantage of him. You constantly tried to make it up for him somehow.

“Angel, I wouldn’t have helped you if I thought you were taking advantage of me. I know my limits.” He assured but lied because there were no limits when it was with you. “Now what were you going to ask me?”

You paused, breathing in and out before saying, “Seokjin wants to meet with you.”

“Uhh, excuse me. What the actual fuck? Why?”

It wasn’t because he didn’t want to meet Seokjin…wait, that was exactly the reason why. Why would he meet this mystery demon that is very close to you?

“The higher-ups thought it was a good idea for him to meet you since you’re helping me with my tasks.” You clarified further. “If anything, they seem to like you because you helped me progress in my studies!”

“…but why him?” His tone sounded flat but on the inside, he was burning.

“Because he talks to the higher-ups and I guess he knows me better than any other demon.” Your vague answer felt like a shot to his chest. He didn’t even care how you said it, he cared about the words. So this Seokjin demon knew you better than any other demon, huh?

Well, does Seokjin know how you sneezed like a kitten? Does Seokjin know your tail waves happily when you get granola? Does Seokjin know how much joy was in your laugh when you see something funny? Does Seokjin know that you liked to cuddle with something when you’re sleeping? And when you slept over, you’d have your arms wrapped around his torso like a koala?

Seokjin may not know everything about you.

“Please meet him? I promise it’ll be okay. He won’t lay a finger on you. If he does, I’ll try my best to rip him off of you.” You pleaded with your shimmering eyes that you didn’t know was one of his ultimate weaknesses. “Of course, he is one of the most powerful demons in our realm…”

As always, you asked so preciously. He couldn’t say no to that face of yours. It may be the hidden power you had over him or maybe not. Yet Jungkook wasn’t going to sway his decision.

“When do you want us to meet, angel?” He gave in to your request.

You squealed, bouncing off of the bed as you held your phone. “Really? You’ll do it?” He nodded in confirmation before you got elated. He’d do anything to see that stunning pearly whites. “I must tell him now! We’ll have everything set up and I’ll tell you the details, okay Koo?”

“Of course, angel. I’m only a call and text away.” He chuckled, gazing into his device.

You checked the time and calculated how late it was for both of you. “It’s already late, and you have class early tomorrow. You should hang up and sleep.”

Jungkook hummed in response, “I’ll start getting ready for bed soon…but you should hang up first.”

You tilted your head in wonder. “Why? Shouldn’t you hang up first?”

“No, you hang u—”

“‘Kay! Good night!” He didn’t even give you a response as you hung up so hastily. You tossed your phone onto the mattress. You rushed out your door—that was fixed and paid off by Seokjin—and went to your mentor to announce the news.

Meanwhile, Jungkook stared blankly at his darkened phone screen for a good minute after you ended the call. He tightened his grip on his smartphone as he bit his lip in an aggravating manner. He took deep breaths, soothing himself. He needed to relax on this whole thing. 

He doesn’t love you. You don’t love him.

That’s that.

But why does he feel so sad about it?

-

“Why are you in a suit?”

Okay, quick little update—It has been a week later and you and Seokjin decided to have Jungkook meet the two of you at the house that Seokjin stole—you honestly don’t know but you have it again—since it wasn’t safe for the human to come to the demon realm.

You haven’t seen Jungkook since because you prepared for the conference. You planned the dinner, begged Seokjin what certain topics of discussion were off-limits, took a midterm that you probably failed, and overall mentally prepared for your mentor and human to meet.

Though you prepped, with Seokjin, there was no telling what was happening. He was being vague with what he had intended and usually shoved a fucking hundred-page intake form in your face. You were nervous, flying around the living room and keeping your hands busy with cooking just hours prior.

Now it was happening and you opened the front entrance right after Jungkook texted you that he was here and afraid. Mainly because the house appeared otherworldly and resembled a murder scene.

When you opened the door, you raised your brows in bewilderment, seeing the human clean cut, looking too professional compared to your pastel green baby doll dress under the strawberry printed apron you had over and bunny house slippers. 

Jungkook wore an all-grey suit with black Chelsea boots. The attire included a matching fabric belt that wrapped around his waist, accentuating his proportions. Underneath, he wore an ebony button-down shirt and the same colored tie. But the best part of it all was that his hair was gelled and pushed back, revealing his supple sexy forehead and bold brows with his lip and ear piercings on display. Lastly, in his hands, he had a bouquet of purple roses.

This was a prime example of how he can get you naked with the faintest look to you.

It wasn’t that you hated him dressed like that. You pondered why he was so formal for a dinner inside an abandoned building.

“Wanted to dress to impress.” More like dress to feel better than that fucking Seokjin guy because I am better.

“You do realize it’s only us three. I’m boringly dressed like this.” You presented your dress even twirled around. Your succubus form was mellow and revealed. You didn’t like hiding your wings and tail because it can get cramped for you. You felt at peace when you didn’t need to hide when you were around Jungkook.

Your hair was pushed back by a green headband, making you extra lovely in his eyes. Though obvious with the seductive succubus stereotype, it fascinated the human how…contradicting you were. Most of the time you didn’t know what you were doing especially with other human men, there were times when you made the room feel disturbingly awkward, you were shit at flirting, and every flirt directed to you was in and out of your ears.

Regardless, that was what made you you and Jungkook loved everything about it. You had your own charm and approach to things. When others expected you to do one thing, you do it in another way. You kept your kindness high and on lock. Sometimes thinking of others before you.

An advantage that Seokjin may have used in the past…for education reasons of course.

“And you look so pretty, ___.” Jungkook complimented you in awe of your beauty. He hasn’t seen you for over a week and finally seeing you in person instead of on his phone screen, he wished to never part with you anymore.

“Aww, thanks, Koo.” You cooed and felt a little heat creeping on your cheeks. “I guess you don’t look bad yourself. Very handsome.”

“So you think I’m handsome?”

You giggled loudly and awkwardly. That was…concerning to him. “Yeah…” You almost sounded bored and he regretted bringing it up. You paused for a bit until you finally brought up the flowers he brought. “You brought flowers?”

“Oh, yeah. I got them since tonight felt pretty important.” He replied, handing them to you. You examined the pretty petals and blooming of the roses before sniffing the aroma. “They’re actually for y—”

“They’re so pretty, Jungkook! Seokjin’s gonna love them!” You interrupted him as you went towards the kitchen to find an empty vase for them, leaving the human standing like the emoji. He watched your form disappear to another room before you shouted for him to follow.

Once he reached you, you planted the flowers on the granite counter while you searched through the cabinets for the flower holder. As you did so, Jungkook brought up a question. “So…where is Seokjin?”

You finally found a vase when he asked. “He had to do something in Naameth before this. He should be arriving any minute.” You said as you filled it up with water.

“Huh? Late to the meeting? Doesn’t seem like a reliable person…” Jungkook tried to be discreet but he really wasn’t.

“You’re both late. Almost an hour and a half.” You pointed out without thought as you positioned the purple roses inside the jug and decorated them at the center of the kitchen table. “At least he told me beforehand.”

You weren’t scolding the human, though you were blunt and stated facts. It caused Jungkook to feel ashamed because he was indeed late, but didn’t bother to speak up about it. “Sorry, I got nervous so I had to use the bathroom a couple of times before coming here.”

“Oh, Jungkook!” You chuckled at his shy state, turning back to him. You’ve never seen him like this before. “There’s no reason to be nervous. I think Seokjin will like you.”

Why were you making everything about Seokjin? That wasn’t why he was nervous. “No, it’s not that.” He denied, holding the edge of the kitchen surface.

“Then what is it?” You came forth, grabbing and holding his hand with your two smaller ones. You looked concerned, almost like you wanted to take action to make his worries away.

He still was in denial.

Jungkook could only open his mouth when the two of you heard a loud bang erupt, making you both flinch and search for the noise. It came from the front, so you scurried together and passed the living room to find the cause.

In all his fucking glory and shining ego, your one and only mentor arrived like a celebrity on the red carpet. The Seokjin wore a white double-breasted blazer with a dress shirt that matched underneath. The shoulder pads of the jacket made his wide-set shoulders even more like the hypotenuse of a Pythagorean theorem. The right side of it draped down reaching his thigh, giving an asymmetrical look. Instead of going monochrome, the incubus opted for black pants and boots.

Seokjin’s hair was also pushed back, but there was a ridiculously enormous ivory fedora sitting at the top of his head. What made it even worse was a gold feather attached to it. Though it sounded outrageous, the demon somehow made it work.

Seokjin’s eyes strolled around the house until they landed on your puzzled ones. A smile beamed on his face then he spreads his arms wide open before strutting up to your stature. “My darling love!!”

Once he got to you, he pulled your body into his chest and spun you around. After that, he puts you down and kissed the top of your head, leaving you flabbergasted and Jungkook’s jaw clenched. What the fuck Seokjin?

“Uhh, Seokjin, what are you doing?” You questioned, not understanding what was going on. You stepped away from him and moved closer to Jungkook.

“What do you mean, little one? I’m greeting you.” Your mentor responded oh so causally.

“You’re not really lik—”

“Ahh, you must be Jeon Jungkook.” Seokjin ignored what you said when he immediately faced contact with the only human in the room. “It’s great to finally meet you. I’ve heard so many things about you!” He extended his hand for a handshake.

Hmmm, that seemed to give Jungkook a bit of satisfaction so he accepted the introduction and shook his hand. “Same for you…but I never knew she talked about me.”

“Yes, of course. She does…when we’re in her room alone together.”

Jungkook’s face sank. His head craned to you to see you…nodding???

“Yeah, and sometimes in his office.” You agreed. Uhhhh, was this going well?

“Anyways, shall we get started Jungkook?” Seokjin recommended. “You and I can chat in the dining area while our ___ here will finish up cooking. She’s making her signature dish! It’s incredible. Believe me. I’ve had it before.” He exaggerated the last parts towards the human while rubbing his stomach.

Jungkook’s right eye twitched and it doesn’t go unnoticed by a close-lipped smile from Seokjin who seemed unbothered.

Meanwhile, you didn’t see anything. “I wouldn’t call it my signature dish, but I wanted to be mindful of Jungkook’s taste. He doesn’t like anything too sour and many of demon’s dishes taste quite sour.”

Again, you were acknowledging his preferences, being so cautious with him. Jungkook’s heart palpitated quicker than before when you ended your statement with a smile and gaze at him.

“Plus this dish doesn’t have garlic and Seokjin is allergic to that!”

It was great while it lasted.

-

While you were preoccupied in the kitchen cooking and listening to this band that shined through the city with a little funk and soul, Jungkook was alone in the dining room with Seokjin. They sat across each other on the long table, one sat on the farthest end and the other did the same on the other end. Their posture was straight with their hands intertwined, resting on the table, almost like they were mimicking one another.

Though it only has been five minutes, nothing was said just glares. More so, towards the nonchalant Seokjin who kept his eye contact, Jungkook leered aggressively at the sight of the demon. All because he had three reasons to act this way.

Number one—Jungkook was pissed off because Seokjin was fucking gorgeous and hot. He was wrong. How was this level of sexiness possible? You informed him that sex demons were born to be visually pleasing, but this fucking dude took the prize of most handsome and went home within the minute. He dreaded it so much but had to give props to the incubus.

Number B—was the way Seokjin held and kissed you…and like you accepted? He never wanted to see you in the arms of another, that idea made him want to vomit his brains out. 

Finally, letter 3—it was almost as if Seokjin indirectly challenged him, eyeing the human out every chance he had. Was that it? Does Seokjin want a competition? What was his catch? Weren’t they supposed to discuss your training and abilities? Why was this turning into who gets to claim you?

Well, you shouldn’t be claimed regardless…but in Jungkook’s defense, you were his.

“So are we gonna discuss ___ and her training?” Jungkook was the first to break the ice as scowling at the strong demon was going nowhere. “I want this to be productive for not only her but myself too.”

“Wow, you seem to care a lot about her, human,” Seokjin commented, slowly nodding his head as he wrote down something on a piece of paper in his opened manila folder. “Do you know why I wanted to see you? Better yet, do you know why I’m talking to you?”

The human cocked an eyebrow. “Uhh, ___ said that the higher-ups said we needed to meet.”

The demon hummed in response as he leaned back into his chair. “Well, that’s the main reason, but there are other answers to that question.”

Jungkook grew confused. “What do you mean?”

Seokjin sagged his head to the side to look past Jungkook to watch you dancing stiffly. “___ is a special demon. So special that she had to get a task helper for her training.” He began. “And so special that she’s important to me.”

Okay, we’re getting to the good stuff because Jungkook squinted his eyes at the demon in front of him. “She’s important to you?”

“Yes, why do you sound like it’s shocking?” Seokjin replied, eyes testing the human. “I mean you had to meet me for her sake.”

“Isn’t it the other way around?”

“Nope, because the higher-ups needed me to see how capable you are. You think a strong, powerful, and handsome demon like myself would willingly want to meet an egotistical zealous human like you? You’re practically a side bug ready to be flicked away if I say you go.”

“What even are you to her?” The human scoffed, not caring if he was being rude to a demon who kill his ass with one hit. “You’re acting so high and fucking mighty. You could be meaningless in all of this.”

“Funny you ask that…” The incubus chuckled darkly. He leaned forward as if he was telling a secret to him despite the one-and-a-half meter distance. But with his powers, Seokjin whispered, “She’s my little play toy.”

Though soft-spoken, his words traveled loud and clear in Jungkook’s ear. The tone mocked the human’s ego and pride, his possession over you. He hated it. He fucking hated it. 

And to make matters worse, Seokjin had the power to replay those words in his head. She’s my little play toy. She’s my little play toy. She’s my little play toy. She’s my little play toy. She’s Seokjin’s little play toy.

Jungkook gritted his teeth as he held onto the table tightly to ease his anger. He needed his positive mindset to overcast the shit Seokjin was doing. You were not his play toy. You weren’t Seokjin’s. You weren’t his to play with.

It should be him. But not as a play toy. But one to be with and to be cherished by him. He should be the one to call you his. He should be the one to hug you and twirl you around. He should be the one to kiss your forehead. He should be the one to call you “my darling love.” He should—

“Dinner’s ready!” You announced flying in all perky and filled with joy. Your horns wiggled in delight at the food. Wings flapping in the air, you patted Jungkook’s head, snapping him out of his trance to gawk at you.

Your puffy smile and crinkled eyes consoled his inner turmoil. How was it possible that the sight of you washed away his worries yet made his heart ache so bad he felt like he was about to explore? What was going on with him on the inside? He couldn’t understand it. He didn’t want to understand it. There was no way.

You flew towards your mentor, ready to slap that goofy grin off his bothersome face when Seokjin grabbed you by the arm and tugged you down. You landed on his lap unexpectedly, making a “humph’ sound. You blinked profoundly at him before saying, “What the fu—”

Usually, Seokjin interrupts you by talking and not caring about anything you say, but today was different. He halted your complaint by kissing you on the lips. Your eyes widened, and you didn’t dare to kiss back. Sure, they were soft but fucking disgusting. It was like kissing an uncle.

It was also different from what you’re used to and you couldn’t help but compare.

You stayed still like a dead fish as your mentor tried deepening the kiss. You were too shocked to even push away. But it was a voice that you knew all too well that ultimately stopped your interaction with Seokjin.

“NO!” Jungkook slammed his palms on the table, standing up from his seat.

Seokjin parted away from you and didn’t even bother to look at your disturbed expression. On the other hand, he was very much interested in finding a furious and raging Jungkook before him. Seokjin swore he heard growls from the human. This human must be a different breed, the incubus thought.

Livid heat dragged down his neck, his jaw sharpened and clenched, and steam blew out of his nostrils. Jungkook charged toward the two of you. Though you were innocent and puzzled by all of this, the human snatched you off of your mentor by the waist with one arm, carrying you. 

With his vacant arm, Jungkook thought it was a fast and effective solution to beat the shit out of Seokjin. So using all the force and techniques he learned through boxing, he punched Seokjin once, causing the demon to fall to the ground.

However, it seemed that Jungkook was done with Seokjin as he began to walk away with you now in both of his arms. You said nothing, not knowing how to contribute to this. But you chose to glance over to your mentor.

Knowing Seokjin, he doesn’t hold if someone attacks him. But at that moment, he watched the two of you walk away calmly before winking at you cheekily.

Seriously, what the fuck was going on?

You spoke no words to Jungkook as you migrated elsewhere into the house. It was when he threw you onto a bed, you realized he brought you into your bedroom. You followed his moves when he locked the door and removed his jacket from him. With piercing irises meeting your fazed doe-eyes, he loosened his tie before taking it off as well. He rolled up his sleeves up to his elbow to his comfort and liking.

He stalked around the bed, eyeing your every move, every facial expression, every breath. You sensed his dominating presence radiating the whole area, growing by the second. You surely understood what was going to happen when he was like this but still unsure of why was it happening right now and before dinner.

You feared him in an arousing way because you were excited to do this with him. It has been a while since Jungkook has been very clingy lately. You thought you anticipated his every move but tonight, you were going to be wrong and sorry that you assumed in the first place.

Your submission gradually exposed itself, afraid to speak up but you needed to know. “U-uh, Jungkook, why are you—”

“It’s sir to you, angel. Have I not been clear from the fucking start?” His dark voice spat venom, leaving no signs of care and cuddles for you.

“Yes, you’ve been clear, sir. I’m sorry, sir.” You hiccuped, you felt yourself shrinking before him. It was the way you both loved it. His mouth twitched but restrained himself from showing anything else but this. He came forth, being on the end of the bed, and leered down at you with that familiar stare. “S-sir, I’m just wondering why you—Eeek!”

Perhaps it was Not Let ___ Talk Day because you couldn’t finish your sentence when Jungkook flipped you over effortlessly by your waist. He pulled your legs and rested your knees onto the mattress, ass raised high in the air. He used his other hand and pushed down your back, bending your spine while your face was smushed into the sheets.

You wiggled as a reaction, but Jungkook wasn’t having it. He lifted the skirt of your dress, revealing your purple lacy thong that barely covered your tiny but chubby pussy. Though he wanted to let out a sigh of please, he was on a mission. With a heavy hand, he smacked your ass to keep you still.

You squeaked at the stinging sensation but felt yourself getting leaking down your hole. You couldn’t help it…he was that attractive, you were a sex demon, and you wanted more.

 “You should know to keep still, you fucking slut!” He spat, giving you another spank and you groaned. “Do I have to repeat myself?”

“N-no, sir.” You sniffled, digging your face into the comforter.

Slap. Slap. Slap. Slap. Slap. Each slap got harder and harder. You swore your ass cheeks were getting numb from the ache. Your skin probably had his hand imprint, feeling raw and tender from his continuous slaps.

You heard the noise of unbuckling and a belt slithering out. You waited quietly until you voiced out a cry when the leather strap touched your swollen red ass cheek and coccyx. “Nooo, Koo!”

The evilness in Jungkook softened when he heard your pleading cry. He dropped the belt and crawled beside you. He helped you move your head to face him. You were flushed, and tears threatened to fall down your cheeks but he found the lust still in your eyes. He noticed how your ass trembled, but your tail looked in shock by it. 

“Angel, did I hurt you?” With no words, you nodded timidly. Fuck, Jungkook wanted to beat himself up for pushing your limits. “Fuck ___, I’m so sorry. I’m such a shithead. We’ll stop this right no—”

“No, we don’t need to, sir.” You reassured, giving him such a precious grin. “Just no belt, please?”

He saw you, serious and promising as ever. He didn’t deserve you at all. Yet you still took him in with all your might and will. You wanted him to continue, he knew it. It was all over your face.

He smiled ever so gently, truly taking you in. He moved down to kiss your ass cheek and caressed your tail which made you inhale sharply. He went back to you grinning once more before came the cynical expression. 

He stood up from the bed, observing your position. You daringly wiggled your behind once again, releasing any guilt Jungkook previously had. Shit, you’re such a tease.

He gave you one last spank before rubbing your pained bottom. You jolted from time to time, experiencing the ghost of the slaps. Once you seemed laxer, Jungkook turned you over on your back and wings. His stare leering at you while you peered open with eyes that screamed “more!”

“Take off everything, slut.” Jungkook demanded.

So with the blink of an eye, your clothes and undergarments were gone, leaving you bare. One interesting power you obtained from the past months was your ability to take your clothes off when you feel like it without even moving an inch. You were confused by it, even telling Seokjin about it. But your mentor told you succubi can develop special and personal powers on top of the standard skills. It was great for you, extra great for Jungkook. 

He paused for a while, pupils dancing all over your supple body. It was something he knew he would never get tired of seeing. From the top of your head, down to your plush breasts, the curves of your waist and hips, and your captivating legs. But in between your legs laid the cunt he wanted to devour for years.

You were already practically flowing a river, drenching the bedsheet under you. He could see a translucent string connected from your hole to the dampened area. You were always so ready for him. 

He grunted softly, his mouth watering at the sight of your center. He wanted to taste it, yet he still had other plans with you. Grabbing his belt off the floor, he walked steadily to your form. “Arms up.” You obliged within half a second. He hoisted you up the bed. Tying your wrists with the leather, he attached it to the headboard. He tugged on making sure it wasn’t too tight for you, so when you nodded, you were ready to go.

He climbed the bed. Your eyes met with his, his warm breathing hit your cheek. He gulped then clenched his jaw, demeanor hardening the more he kept his gaze. “You deserve to be punished, you stupid whore.”

Your irises enlarged, growing puzzled by his statement. “Why do I have t—“

“Did I say to fucking talk?!?!” He fumed, making you flinch. You quickly shook your head in denial. “You talk when I tell you to, and you do as I fucking say! When I ask you a question, you better answer! I’m not gonna repeat myself. Am I clear?”

You nodded cowardly but it wasn’t the right answer. Jungkook groaned in frustration, which led him to reach over to your nipple and pinch it hard. You winced at the pain yet pleasure of his touch. Your body wanted to submit to him. “Yes, you’re clear, sir!!”

“Good little demon.” He finally complimented and your horns twitched, which doesn’t go unnoticed by him but won’t acknowledge out in the open.

Jungkook had his hands on your knees before spreading them wide to get a clearer view of your glistening cunt. Fuck, he wanted to die. So pretty and swollen, just for him. He bent down to be on eye level. You felt him lingering before he lightly blew into your heat. You moaned softly, the cool air touching you though it wasn’t what you wanted. But you stayed quiet so that Jungkook doesn’t get angry. 

He pulled back and it killed you, almost barking back. But when he shoved two fingers in your sudden hole, all thoughts disappeared and a high-pitched whine snapped out of you. He was not slow and steady. He wasted no time pumping hard in circular motions into your pussy, trying to find your sweet spot. When your voice raised higher, he knew he had already found it.

He then pushed in another finger to help you get more stretched out. It was immaculate how tight your cunt was despite taking in his thick dick. He cursed under his breath, watching you having a harder time breathing from all the mewling you did. Your face was already so enamored with what little he did to you, making him grin like an asshole.

“Such a little slut. Do you like it when I finger this tight fucking cunt?”

You nodded like a child wanting candy. “Yes, I love it, sir.” He kept hitting your g-spot and you got so dizzy. Jungkook decided to test your limit again by adding another finger in you. It was a snug fit but he was still able to continue his thrusts. His palm was practically inside of you getting messed up by the amount of essence you spurted out.

The stretch gave a dull pinch, but you handled it well. You dug your fingers into your palm as it was the only thing you could do besides attempting to break free from the belt which was unsuccessful. But holy shit, so many of his fingers touched your nerves. Each swipe to your rough patch made you go crazy. Your petals sang choir songs to his ears, body, and soul. You felt the knot in your stomach breaking, getting closer and closer to your finish line. Jungkook could feel you reaching your high, so he fastened his pace.

You moaned loudly, knowing what was about to come. However, the human decided to pull out of you a second before you came. You winced as your stretched-out walls pulsed around nothing. Your soaking cunt dripped and ached in pain from the denial. Tears escaped your eyes, your nose getting stuffier than before, and the painful eyes you gave to an unbothered human.

“I didn’t say to cum. You cum when I tell you to.” Jungkook growled, then slurping all of your wetness from his palm to the tip of his fingers. 

“P-puh-please, s-sir.” You tried to speak, but you were getting intoxicated by the horniness you had for that man. “C-can…I…cum?”

“Aww, you’re begging. How cute.” He spoke condescendingly yet you gave no fucks because all you wanted right now was his dick. Which by the way looked insane hard and large in his pants. “But no, you don’t deserve it.”

“H-huh?”

“You wanna cum, you gotta earn it.” He sneered before slapping your inner thigh so close to your wet folds but not close enough. You could only let out a pliant sound, watching his menacing aura boost. “Do you still have those red candles?”

In a haze, you nodded. A while back, one of your tasks was the use of BDSM and you got provided a box filled with toys and other items to use. Besides rope, blindfolds, and ball gags, there were scarlet strawberry-scented massage candles. But they were never used because there was no time and that task went on for AGES.

However, Jungkook thought now was a good time to use them. “Bring them in.”

To his command, you magically brought it from Naameth. They were displayed on your nightstand, unused and neatly placed with the violet-colored lighter next to them.

Jungkook reached over for one of them and the lighter. Concentrated on what he had in his hands, he examined the two. The long candle presented hefty due to its thickness but it weighed light. He wafted the fruity aroma and hummed in delight before igniting the wick.

Ember appeared before him, illuminating a small bubble around it. He waited until he started seeing a small pool of liquid for the real games to begin.

Hovering it over your intoxicated cunt, he titled the candle. The ruby fluid flowed down and dripped onto your sensitivity, making you yelp at the burn. He moved all over your form, going from your nipples, your navel, back to your center, your neck, and any of your parts he knew you were sensitive in. 

The stinging pain electrified your body, cascading a new tsunami of emotions you’ve never experienced before. Streams of wax trickled down and solidified on your burning skin, marking you.

“You like this?” Jungkook interrogated while you measly nodded, quaking as more of the candle wax landed on you. “Of course, you do. You filthy demon.” He scoffed, rolling his eyes before placing the still-lit candle on the table.

Suddenly, he flipped you over in the same position you first started in. Your wrists rubbed along the belt, probably going to get bruises. He wasted no time slapping your ass again once. He retrieved the candle back, which had melted an abundance of fluid that created a deep pool.

Jungkook enjoyed seeing you in painful pleasure when a sinister smirk morphed on his hot fucking face. Without thinking any further, he had the candle over your back and poured all of it on your wings.

If Jungkook had seen your face, he would have seen your eyes shrink into beady dots. An elongating shriek fled out of you, froth foaming around your mouth. Your burgundy tail rested on the side, hiding away from the utter surprise. Your wings fluttered out of control, shaking like two Christmas ornaments filled with mung beans but not at all in a fun way. 

You tried breaking free but you were scrawny as shit. The burn rushed through your blood and went straight to your agonizing cunt and oozing more of your wetness on the bed. A pleasant sight for the human behind you. The sensation didn’t hurt as much as you expected, but fuck, you were about to go pray to the heavens for something to happen. You sobbed harshly into the pillow because though you felt so much but not enough to reach your peak. Your thighs quaked like a wet cat. you wanted to fucking cum, but he wasn’t letting you. 

“I’m impressed that you’re still not talking and taking it like the whore I know you are,” Jungkook commented before blowing out the candle. The smell of smoke mixed with the artificial strawberry scent lingered in the area.

You didn’t bother turning back to him. Instead, you dug your head into the duvet and unconsciously arched your back lower to accentuate your rounded ass. Jungkook groaned at his perfect vision of you. He guessed you deserve something. “Just for that, you deserve a little treat.” Putting his hands in the dips of your waist, he hoisted the lower half of your body up in the air.

Being so small, it was easy for gym rat boxing galore Jungkook to carry you like you were a feather. He settled the tops of your thigh onto his shoulders. You practically were levitating since Jungkook was huge even when sitting down. He pushed your spine down and you don’t even know what position this was. He was lucky you weren’t human because you were practically shaped as a “u.” Thank you demon bones.

Jungkook had such a delicious view of your petaled sex, so bloated and drenched just begging for him. He scooted closer to the headboard, bringing you with him. Now only your head was shoved onto the bed because you hung upside down. His strong arms wrapped around you with your shivering thighs still on him.

He leaned his head before sticking his pink tongue into your cunt, making you mewl like the needy little thing you were. The muscle then swiped up and down, pushing its way into you. Then the tip found your clit, causing you to shudder. Tears broke free but they went straight to staining the sheets. You were too stimulated and not enough to feel the release.  

Fuck, you tasted better than the last time like he was eating sweet cherries freshly picked out from the farm. He loved that you can actually change your essence’s flavor but honestly just as it was natural was the best one in his honest opinion.

Then your horns twitched.

Suddenly the arousal changed to your original taste, shocking Jungkook as his eyes widened but didn’t complain one bit. It only gave him more reason to latch on to your sensitivity and suckled the way you loved. Your legs trembling in ecstasy but he kept you still in his arms. Your moans increased by the second, wanting to speak his name but you didn’t dare to.

Until he gripped your tail.

“Sir!” You wept out, turning your head to breathe some oxygen. Jungkook surprisingly didn’t punish you and continued stroking your appendage. His thumb applied pressure, amplifying the state you were in. If you weren’t a moaning mess before, you most certainly were now. Your mind turned into cotton. Your eyes rolled back as your hips pushed towards his face.

His lapping tongue embedded your shaking center while the tip of his nose poked your aching bud. He ran his fingers from your tailbone to the heart tip. He went back to your base and pulled on it not too harshly but not too lightly either. You swore you were about to see stars from all this stimulation. The build-up in you got stronger and stronger, almost toward the finish line. “O-oh, I gonna cu—”

Subsequently, he stopped again. He released your tail and plopped your body back onto the mattress, bouncing from the impact. “No, you’re not.” He scooted away from you, legs spread open as he felt himself losing patience with him.

You whimpered, hot streams going down your cheeks. Dammit, you were so close. As sadist as Jungkook was in bed, this by far had to be the cruelest thing he has ever done to you. You’d rather have a bajillion orgasms than get denied them.

“Remember what I fucking said, slut. You can’t come unless I say so and you don’t deserve it after what you did.”

You were on the verge of losing the 3% of insanity left in you. You weren’t understanding your position right now. Yes, you loved the pain and the pleasure he gave but why did he do it right before dinner time? Tonight was supposed to be important but now you’re suddenly blamed for reasons you don’t know. So you spoke without caring about the consequences. You twisted onto your back to face his darkened blushed expression. Your wrists were hurt from the constraint. “W-why can’t I c-cum? I ne-never did a-anything!”

Wow, you finally yelled back. It took you long enough. But Jungkook, being stubborn and never wanting to back down, wanted to punish you. Unfortunately, his feelings for you were in the way and he had to let out his thoughts, or else, he was about to explode. “Because you let Seokjin fucking kiss you!” He spat out. “You don’t get to cum until you realize you don’t need him in your life!”

You blinked dumbly, taken aback. What the fuck was he talking about? Seokjin was your mentor, you needed him! Even after you finished your training, he was your mentor for all eternity. “Wh-what? I do need him! He can’t go away!” A bit of logic crept into your brain, trying to understand what Jungkook was getting at.

“Wrong answer, angel.”

Jungkook got off of the bed, pupils never leaving yours. Button by button, he unloosened his shirt, exposing his glistening tan skin and chocolate bar abs. Once he flicked it off of him, his sleeve tattoos were fully visible. He unzipped his pants, freeing him from the clothing. The outline of his hardened girthy dick and the wet spot on his boxers was clearly shown and it made your mouth water. Damn, this human was so defined. You wanted to throw up at how sexy he was.

He cupped himself to relieve some discomfort he went through. He bit his lips while staring into your gleaming pupils, so clueless about how he truly felt yet you still managed to bewitch him regardless. He removed the last article on him, now bare with his curved cock bouncing from his movements. He played with his lip ring, smirking at how you got unconsciously rubbed your thighs together as he played with himself. “What do you want?”

You gulped, “I-I-I want you, sir.”

Jungkook snorted haughtily, “Yeah, right. Go to Seokjin, maybe he’ll give you the half-ass orgasm that you deserved.”

You furrowed your eyebrows again. What the fuck does Seokjin have to do with all of this? You would never let him touch you the way Jungkook does. Why does he sound like he has so much hatred for your mentor? They fucking met an hour ago.

You shook your head naively, “No, I want you, Jungkook. I always have.”

Your voice and words stabbed his heart. How could you even say that when you’re with Seokjin? Wait, hold on…are you cheating on the demon with him? Are you a cheater? But doesn’t Seokjin know that you’ve been fucking him? Maybe it was an open relationship? What the fuck was between you and Seokjin?

But Jungkook realized—he was only your task helper. Nothing more, nothing less. That was why Seokjin was okay with all of this. That was why you weren’t acknowledging what he did for you. It was mindless. You needed a human to help you with your training, and that was what you got.

Your relationship was nonexistent, and it ached Jungkook. Fuck, he can’t do this anymore. He couldn’t suppress it any longer. Demon or not, you were you and he was him. You were vulnerable and dense to everything, you almost killed him by accident every single time, but he loved it because you still had a good heart and you cared wholeheartedly. You were the literal perfect being in his life.

He was in love with you and there was no way of stopping him.

Was this how the hookups and flings felt? Because it was hurting him on the inside very deeply. This was probably karma.

“Jungkook?” You called out, snapping him out of his trance.

The human blinked a couple of times before acknowledging you again. You were naked, legs spread apart. Your perspired skin glowed under the warm light. Breasts were perky and nipples were pointed. Your arousal leaked down your perineum, even landing on your puckered anus.

He thought this was the last time that he would see you like this. He had to stop seeing you. It was no good for his human heart. He didn’t want to go through this unrequited love any longer. He had to give up immediately. Well…after he fucks you into oblivion as a last hoorah, then he’d give up.

Like a hyena attacking its prey, Jungkook was back in bed. He felt his emotions threatening to get to him through his tear ducts. He couldn’t do that right now, he had to suck it up and release all of it through fucking you. He blinked rapidly to keep his cool. His hands reached the back of your thighs, opening you up.

His eye contact was fierce, scrutinizing your soul. It made your demon heart skip a beat at how intense he looked at you. Without breaking, he took himself and positioned it to your slit. He didn’t ask if you were ready as he was already going in but slower than usual. Inch by inch, he disappeared in you and you mewled at the stretch of him. He pushed in once more until the head touched your tiny cervix, promptly making you go unhinged. 

You were drooling, getting the drug you finally wanted. You talked nonsensically as you bit down on your lower lips. You could practically cum, but you knew you couldn’t. How was it possible for a human dick to ruin your entire existence? That, you don’t know but you weren’t complaining.

All you could think about was Jungkook, his body, his cock, his personality, his soul. Jungkook, Jungkook, Jungkook, Jungkook. It was all about him.

He didn’t ask to move; he just did. Knowing you, you also wanted him to start now. However, he wanted to make this last as long as he could. But he felt too stimulated he thought he was going to burst in you once he filled you up. The love he had for you overpowered his control, his dominance. His pace was different, it was slower yet way harder than usual.

Each thrust made you squirm under him. You looked so pretty, cross-eyed, with hair sticking on your forehead, and trying to escape your confinement. You pleaded to get out of it by weeping high-pitched noises. You badly wanted to touch him, hold him. “Pweesh, t-t-toush you!” You yanked on the belt, attempting anything. You were numb on your wrists, only sensing the cock pounding you like there was no tomorrow. “Toush you!”

Jungkook refused for him to touch you because it will only break him into a million pieces. If you laid a hand on him, he wouldn’t want to let go of you. But he was selfish, so so so selfish. He needed this way more than you did. It was for his one last time and his everlasting memory. 

Without contemplating any longer, he penetrated deeper into you. With one hand on your hips for stability, he untied your wrists. When you were free, the weight of your hands felt heavier as they bounced onto the wrinkled covers. They were much more tired than expected but Jungkook took your wrists with his hand to examine the marks that formed around them, noticing the red and purple sores.

He held them to his lips and pecked endless kisses like it was medicine to the pain. It was sort of like that because they weren’t as delicate as they appeared. His tongue lapped around the bruises. Your hands were lighter than before, allowing you to wrap them around his nape. You caught him by surprise as his big bunny eyes widened.

You pulled him near you, your noses meeting. Your lips were swollen and red, relentless moans escaped your mouth. You ran your fingers into his damp raven hair, securing hold onto him. You had no brain anymore, no thinks, no words. You lived and breathe to obey him. You were now and always will be Jungkook’s pocketpussy.

You stretched your head, puckering your lips to finally meet his, also shocking him and his brain. His heart thumped faster than normal, especially when you swiped your tongue over his teeth. The kiss grew messier, slobbering around the rims of your mouths and exchanging and swallowing each other’s spit. 

Jungkook stopped tonguing you but his mouth was still on yours. “Say you’re mine. I wanna hear you say it.” He grunted. His long cock dragged in your battered pussy. “Fucking say it!”

“Y-yours, sir! I yours!”

“No, say my name right now!” Jungkook commanded. Even though he loved his sir kink, he needed to hear his name out of your mouth. “Whose are you?”

“I’m yours, Jungkook!”

“That’s right. Fucking slutty demon creaming around my big cock, you better be.” His pace increased roughly, making the pressure in your abdomen come back again. Your walls ached in hopes that you weren’t going to be rid of another orgasm. The connectedness between you two sounded sticky and wet as his dick collected the ring of foaming white from you. 

“I am—hunghhh! I-I-I’ll always be.” You truthfully said, but Jungkook didn’t believe you. You were drunk in carnality. 

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” There was envy and wrath in his voice but it was to cover his frail judgments. “You take what you fucking get.”

“But mo’! More! Mo’!” You begged brainlessly, wrapping your legs around his waist. “Pweesh, sir!”

“I must have fucking spoiled you. Begging for more that you can’t even handle, slut! Bad demon!” He ridiculed you, but you loved it so much. Your weakened succubus mind loved his cruel insults.

“I not bad!!!” You sobbed, tears bubbling up around your eyes from the stimulation.

“Yes, you fucking are. Bad to me because I can’t get enough of you! Bad to my body, bad to my cock that only wants to be wrapped around this tight fucking pussy.” He impaled you rampantly, your cunt bawling at the crude action. “Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!” With each thrust, he emphasized and then pinched your inflated clit in between his index finger and thumb. 

You screamed as you knew you couldn’t hold it in any longer. The knot in you played tug-o-war. Body vibrating endlessly like a cellular device’s alarm, you were about to die if you kept it in. “Cum! Cum! Cum!” You chanted, wishing he’d finally let you. “Cum! Cu—”

“Cum all over me, baby.”

Once he said those words, the sound that came out of you was neither inhumane nor demonic. Your eyes crossed, making you smell the twinkly little stars around. The warmth coursed through your blood while your brain melted into a puddle. You wailed, gasping for air, sounding like a dying pig that was about to turn into bacon. Body convulsed, shuttering every millisecond while helplessly holding onto the solid man above you. He guided you through your high, rocking into you. You clenched tightly around his flaming cock, making him whine that how he was getting closer to his high.

When you finally came, your tail swiveled out and up then sprinkled cum all over your bodies. Jungkook snatched your squirting appendage, causing you to yelp at the sensitivity. He pressed the tip of it into your slightly parted mouth. “Suck up your cum.” Moaning, you succumbed to his command and opened your mouth as he inserted your spewing heart-tailed end. With your tongue sticking out, you tried swallowing your non-stop cum, but it ended up splashing all over your fucked out face.

Jungkook leaned down and joined in on your slurping session. Both of your tongues glided up and down your gushing limb. He followed the pattern of your tail, shaping around smooth ripples. Your muscles met at the tip, drinking in your pool of essence. You were intoxicated and delirious with passion and overstimulation. Your skull was hollow as an abyss. Nothing from you made sense.

He parted away before gripping back onto your hips harshly and faster, causing you to purr. It was too much, but you sucked it up. His dick continued thrusting inside of you, but he was in shambles from also trying to chase his high. 

“Wanna get stuffed?” He grumbled. You could only nod, tongue lolling from side to side. “Get filled by my golden human cum.” You nodded needier. “Are you worthy of it? Are you worthy of me?”

You thought you said yes but gibberish came out instead. But it was his cue to finally cum too.

His head dropped to the crevice of your neck. He pumped into you once more before stilling himself. He whined in your ear, calling your name like a mantra. His trembling abdomen squeezed hard and his grasp on you tensed as he shot out ropes and ropes of sticky white in your battered cunt. He painted your inside, your exhausted body taking in the warmth.

Your eyes glowed scarlet again, absorbing his semen into your powers. Jungkook felt a slight tingle when you unknowingly took particles of his life force again, but he was used to it by now. It was going to come back to him anyways.

He delicately removed himself from you, but you still wailed. He peppered light kisses on your shoulder to ease you. He sat up, seeing how fucked out you looked with his cum spilling out of your wheezing hole. You looked so gorgeous like this and it was all because of him. Not Seokjin. Fucking him.

Fuck, Seokjin.

He didn’t want his cum to go to waste so he scooped the excess from the sheets and pushed it back into you. You let out a long moan, trying to push away his hand but you were too tired to. Once he was satisfied, he lay beside you, gazing at your blushing expression. You were panting heavily, as usual, never going to catch up with his energy. But you were so beautiful, it pained him. 

You turned your head, drooping eyes saw the sparkles in his. He was utterly out of this world. A star shining above the rest, yet he was next to you and you wouldn’t change it anywhere even if you were realms apart.

Your shaking hand engulfed his cheek, your thumb rubbing his sweaty skin. You closed your eyes and moved towards him to close the gap, but you suddenly felt him pull away. Your eyelids snapped open when you saw him staggering out of bed.

“I-I-I have to get out of here.” He announced, rushingly scanning the room for his clothes. He had to leave now or else he was never backing out.

Though you were in a disoriented daze from post-coital, him saying he had to leave triggered your senses. You jolted up, watching him collect his garments. You never saw him this frazzled or in a hurry before. Every time you had sex, he enjoyed cuddling with you or keeping you in his arms. You were baffled and actually peeved off he was acting like this and he wasn’t telling you why.

“Koo, what’s going on?” You questioned, but you grimaced at how groggy your voice was.

“Don’t you fucking Koo me!” He swore at you. Though Jungkook was vile in bed, he was never like that outside of it. This complete 185 frightened and sorrowed you. “You know what you fucking did.”

“No, I don’t.” You informed but it sounded like a question because you didn’t know what you did. Damn, did you fuck up on dinner or something? “Jungkook, why are you so heated? Right now, in bed, more heated than usual.”

His glare on you softened when he realized the dim-wittedness lurking in your pupils. Not a damn thing in you figured out what was going on. You still knew nothing. “Forget it. It’s nothing but I have to—”

"Okay, even I know that's a straight-up lie." You interrupted him, not buying anything he was saying. You wanted to understand his reasoning. He looked so angry and frustrated. Yet you weren’t, so you wanted to calm him down and be mindful of whatever you did to make him this upset. "Talk to me. I've been easygoing, haven't I?"

"No."

"What do you mean?" You pouted cutely, and it only angered him even more.

"You're so frustrating!" Jungkook groaned, then paced around the room with his flaccid dick swinging around like a pendulum. "You really have no sense of what's going on, do you?”

Okay, that offended you. You gasped, “Now you're sounding like Seokjin—“

"Oh, Seokjin now? Wow, me sounding like him. Pfft, you might as well go to him instead of getting someone like him."

“I am confusion!”

"You're confused? You're confusing me!!"

"Jungkook, what the fuck is going on? Be clear with me!” You probed for the last time, losing your unwavering patience. You stood up wobbly from the ruined mattress. Though your legs were practically falling apart, you stood your ground. “Do human men also have periods?"

He paused his steps and pivoted towards you. He encircled an arm around your stature, chests pressing each other. He kept your balance when he picked you up and rested his forehead on your shoulder. He needed to say it before he was free from you. "I love you, ___."

Your jaw dropped, stunning you with his confession. Sadly, for the both of you, you don’t react well so you said, ”Uhhh, excuse me?? What the actual fuck?"

He chuckled but there was so much sadness to it. He knew it was too good to be true. He lifted his head, then touched your forehead with his, smelling his warm garlic bread breath (when did he have garlic bread?), and graze your nose. "I said I love you…and I'm embarrassed and miserable because you're with Seokjin."

You morphed a face of horror when he revealed that. “Huh? I’m not with Seokjin. Fuck that!" Never in your whole life would ever think to be with that conniving, irritating, egotistical, yet handsome incubus. You never had a level of attraction to Seokjin as opposed to Jungkook. 

Now Jungkook grew more puzzled. “Then what the fuck is he to you?"

"He's my mentor!! He guides me through and is in charge of my training. As a mentor, he is with me for all eternity!” You explained.“He's the one who wanted to meet with you. I thought I made that clear!"

"No, you didn't!"

"Oh."

You were flabbergasted, you assumed you told him everything about Seokjin. But when you thought about it a little longer, it seemed your explanations were empty and filled with avoidance. In your defense, you never wanted to think about your mentor, especially when you were with Jungkook.

“Yeah, he's touchy and affectionate with you, even calling you pet names. I assumed you were with him before meeting him too.” Jungkook was distraught, reminiscing about today’s incident in his mind. The way Seokjin held you, and talked to you, it all seemed so real. “Like why else did he kiss you and call you his play toy?”

"Because I like to fuck around!" Seokjin burst through the door unapologetically into the sexed-up scented room, hearing everything that was done and said. You both flinched from the sound, spotting the incubus appearing amused. At first response, Jungkook was quick to protect your body from being shown to another. You weren’t as alarmed. Seokjin saw you naked before due to a physical examination. You glanced blankly at your nosy mentor. "She’s my play toy as in I like to play around and mentally scar her.” Your mentor’s eyes wandered around the mess before landing on Jungkook’s bare ass. “I knew you loved her! Even the higher-ups could see it! You were just being stubborn and ___’s a fucking dumbass to see it!"

“So…Jungkook loves me?” You finally recognized his feelings towards you.

“Did he or I just fucking say that, you dipshit?” Seokjin complained, shaking his head at you.

"But you don't love me either way," Jungkook muttered, peering down at your toes.

"Who said I didn't love you?" You fussed rhetorically. You thought you pointed out your feelings towards him well. "That has to be clear!"

"No, you are immune to my affection. What the fuck?"

“This is spicy.” Seokjin’s commentary was made aware when you leered at him.

“Can you leave us alone?” You yelled. It wasn’t even a question. He needed to leave now.

“Fine, I’ll be right outside by the door.” Seokjin huffed before exiting the broken door and frame. Though he closed it completely shut, the entire door fell, breaking into shattered chunks of wood and leaving the incubus to hear anything you both said. 

"No, I'm sorry! I do love you!" You confessed, taking his large hands into yours. “I’ve always loved you!”

“Finally, fuck!” Seokjin cheered.

Jungkook’s pupils dilated. His heart palpitated faster at your declaration. Was he dreaming? “Stop, no. Really?" You nodded, smiling at his disbelief. “B-but how? You're a demon! I'm a human!"

"So? I love beyond what I am." You simply shrugged before resting your chin on his pectorals, your neck extended to see his face. "I'm also not the first succubus to love a human. Why else did I keep coming back to you?"

"For sex? To help with your training?"

"Well, yes…” He did say something matter-of-factly, so you couldn’t help but agree. But it made him deflate, and you realize it right away. “But also I love being with you because I'm in love with you, Koo!" You tried mending the damage. “I think I can remember my horns twitching during sex. If you thought of something you may like or want on me, I can automatically change it! That only happens when a succubus is in love!” You started saying all kinds of things that were truthful and how much you loved him. “I love spending time with you, I love your kisses, I love your cuddles, I love when you get nasty, and you have very nice penmanship too!”

Your continuous list made his inside warm and flutter like butterflies. He loved every bit of it. He finally glowed brightly with that bunny smile you adored. 

He clutched an arm over your waist before bending you backward and dipping down. “I’m in love with you too." Your noses touched and your lips were only centimeters away. "You've changed me. I don't know if it's because of your powers, or your charm, or your fucking obsession with granola, but I can't think of and refuse to be with anyone else but you, my beloved angel."

“Then please love me, Jungkook?” You asked oh so sweetly and lovingly, curling your lips with the bats you were getting in your tummy.

“Baby, that shouldn’t even be a question. I’ll always love you.” He chuckled before meshing your lips perfectly together. A kiss that was filled with so much love and devotion, neither of you wanted to let go. You were both fucking dumbasses who were in love with each other but had miscommunication to thicken the damn plot.

Fuck you, writer.

Jungkook pecked little kisses on your lips, cheeks, and forehead, making you giggle. He then pulled back and placed you back on your feet. “But you must take responsibility for turning me into a loser who giggles at your short text messages."

"That I will!" You jumped and clapped, beginning to float into the air. Your wings and tail danced happily. “I’m glad to have had you as my first task!" You smooched Jungkook’s cheek, hugging his muscular form.

"You were bitching at me about him!" Seokjin came back into the room with his arms folded into his chest.

Not bothered by your mentor’s interruptions, you rolled your eyes and whined, ”That was beforehand! I didn't know him!"

"Yeah, whatever. So are you all good and together I assume?" Seokjin grinned with the “okay” sign before reaching Jungkook’s attention. "Don't worry, human. She was never my type—whiny and a pain in my gorgeous ass."

"Hey!" You fretted.

Jungkook focused on the sex demon. Maybe Seokjin wasn’t all bad. Though he did it in a fucked up way, the human comprehended how much Seokjin did care for you and he assumed himself too since your mentor helped your relationship finally blossom. He just didn’t like saying how much he cared outwardly. “We're good! Thank you, Seokjin. Sorry for punching you.”

“It’s fine. I felt like I was in a drama and I was the antagonist though I like to consider the anti-hero in this fanfic.” Seokjin glanced at the reader through the screen. You and Jungkook stared at one another, not sure what Seokjin peeked at. "Well, anyways, everything will be fine. I’ll send a positive report to the higher-ups. But Jungkook, you must be okay with helping ___ with her tasks. Some are more far-fetched than others."

"It should be fine with me. We've been experimenting plenty in our love life." He glimpsed at you rubbing your cheek onto his chest, even inhaling his musk. He kissed the top of your head with satisfaction.

Seokjin hummed in response, knowing what he would say may be bad news to the human “However, I did notice the uncompleted tasks that require a bit…more."

"Like what?"

"A threesome, and considering your jealous dick, you wouldn't like that." The incubus informed, making Jungkook’s smile fade.

You halted your cheek rubbing to stare at your official boyfriend miserable at the discovery. “Jungkook, please! I need this for my training." You begged, intertwining your hands together in front of you. "It won't mean anything, I swear!"

Though he understood it was part of your school, he was still wary. ”Does it have to be human?"

"Not necessarily. Just more of a being." Seokjin answered, watching the situation go slightly bad for the human. "But at least one of you has to be a human, which is you."

“Fine.” Jungkook sighed, pessimistically giving in. But your animated cheers put the grin back on him. “So I'm not letting any of my frat brothers near you like that. Do you have any potentials, my love?

"Hmmm, not really.” You replied, tippy-toeing to kiss his cheek. “Many demons try not to perform sexual activities with each other—wait! I do know one!"

"Who is it?" Your boyfriend cocked an eyebrow.

"He's a warlock from Wennale, the witch realm! He goes by Taehyung!"

"Ahh, yes. Taehyung! Gotta love him, so nice and real talker." Seokjin had a hand over his demon hard with the cheesiest yet wicked grin plastered over his beautiful damn face. "Saw him a few times with little one. Real deal if you ask me.“ He directed it towards Jungkook.

"I'm sorry, what?" Your boyfriend asked monotonously.

"It was nothing serious!” You waved it off. “He did take my virginity, what humans call it, and we did see each other a few more after it. He was sweet, called me pretty, gave me flowers, even tied me up and fu—“

"NOPE! I WILL NOT LET YOU NEAR THAT FUCKING GUY."

A/N: The end…for now. AHAHAHA JK PLS that’s it for the couple as an actual fic. Maybe Drabbles who knows. But thank you for reading <3 Also yes, they were talking to seokjin naked ;-;

All rights reserved for ©️ icedmatchatae 2022 (｡●́‿●̀｡)

This is sooo irrelevant to my blog and work but I keep getting these gojo daddy’s home edits back to back 😭😭😭 (are they entertaining? Yes.) But I’m dying and crying and creaming

Glimpse of Us | KTH Chapter IX: Hear Me Out

Pairing: Problematic Idol Taehyung x Grad Student Reader

Genre: Idol AU, Ex-Childhood Best Friends into—, Angst (Hello, welcome to my angst central), Fluff (mainly in the flashbacks), Slow Burn, Eventual Smut

Summary: BTS’s V has been living a lavished and successful lifestyle, but underneath all of that, Kim Taehyung is far from the perfect image the media and fans made him out to be. All he wants is to relive the feelings of happiness and purpose in his life, but how can he when he left behind those memories years ago? The same memories, he hopes to see a glimpse of.

Warning: this was long for no reason lol, LOTS of crying in a one night, mentions of substance use and alcoholism, brief description of therapy, hints of depression and anxiety, the media is the absolute worse, mentions of panic attacks, a very emotional yet soft flashback, brief description of past infidelity (just want to hug oc :c), very brief mention of unexpected pregnancy (don't worry, it's none of them), insecurities on maintaining a relationship, Seojoon is back ayeee, verbal fighting

Word Count: 12.8k

Chapter IX: Hear Me Out || Series Masterlist

Settling down a glass of water and a plate of leftover homemade cookies in front of Taehyung, you both sat at your futon table, sitting across from one another. After you calmed him down, you knew he never wanted to be alone after an episode. You suggested bringing him home, but he refused and told you to not tell anyone what had happened. So ultimately, you brought him to your small apartment.

You still made sure that the unconscious men were still alive, and they all had pulses. The liquid that the first blacked-out men were on top of was soju. They probably would have forgotten what happened, so you escaped the premises holding a partially drunk Taehyung before someone caught you.

He muttered a thank you before drinking the water in one go and taking a cookie to help him sober up. Only the chewing and crunching from Taehyung cracked through the air as vocal silence was somewhat necessary after the events. 

While he did so and stared at the bitten treat, you played with your fingers as you eyed around your apartment. Though he didn’t mind, you were a bit embarrassed showing him where exactly you lived. Everywhere screamed skeptical and empty. You couldn’t help but compare it with his multi-billion won high-security house with a fucking nice backyard.

“Sorry if…uhh, my apartment’s not much.” You didn’t know why you had to apologize for your living situation. It wasn’t your fault.

Looking up from the baked good, he found you and your cheeks fairly pink while doing your habit. He fuddled while lifting a brow. “You don’t need to apologize. If anything, I should be thanking you for bringing me here.”

“But still…you’re not used to this type of lifestyle.” You shrugged awkwardly. “I don’t even have a couch.”

“___, I could care less if we used the floor as a table or you used your hands to scoop the water I’m drinking.”

You nodded, staying quiet. However, you grew more lax with his reassurance, even letting out a sigh of relief. You watched him pop the remnants of sweet before taking another one from the plate. He looked rather functional, but of course, still infused with alcohol. You didn’t really speak after you sang the song together. He merely followed you silently while you said short instructions.

“How are you feeling now?” You asked softly, a tinge of worry dipped into your asking.

He stopped the cookie mid-way from his mouth before closing it. He placed the dessert back down and sighed, “Thank you for saving me back there. Who knows what would have happened to me if you weren’t there.” He pushed the plate away from him. “You didn’t need to though, could have left me to suffer the consequences.”

“Please, no. Taehyung, you were having a panic attack.” You disagreed, couldn’t even imagine not helping. “I couldn’t leave you like that. I would have done that to anyone.”

To anyone…right. The idol hummed, taking in your statement. “Guess you helped me escape from the law, my lovely accomplice.” He quipped with a smirk. You rolled your eyes before a small grin crept on your face. “You should know you’re still one of the only people who knows how to calm me down like that.”

Your lips faltered in confusion. “Who’re the others?”

“My mom, grandma before, and Jimin.” He replied. “I forgot about the song. It’s the most effective for me.”

You smiled, recalling the first time you used it. It was hours before the middle school talent show. The only reason why you did it was to distract him. He needed to focus on his mind away from his rough breathing. It was on a whim, but it worked great and now the song always calmed him down whether he went through an episode or not.

His list was expected as they were the most important people in his life. However, it was shocking that a specific person you thought of wasn’t on the list. “Not even Clara?”

Taehyung snorted as if you said a joke, “Please she doesn’t know anything about calming someone down. All she cares about is her image.”

Well, that was completely out of nowhere, baffled by his reveal. He spoke on it so casually, yet it was like a blow to his relationship. You couldn’t help but be curious as to why he might have said that, but you chose not to ask as it was the least of your worries right now.

Ignoring his comment, you decided to ask other questions that came to mind while you were on the bus ride home. “Before tonight, when was the last time you went through an episode?”

Tilting his head to the side, he stared at the wall across as he went through the folders of his memories. “Like a full episode, probably last year. Short breaths from time to time, but nothing too serious like tonight.”

“Taehyung…” You frowned, scooting closer to him. You kept your palms on your thighs when you kept your stare on him. His expression remained blunt, almost as if these mini-episodes weren’t at all concerning.

“No worries, ___. They weren’t big. When they happen, the breathing exercises help.”

“Could I ask what caused your last one? Wait, how’d you get into that situation?” Some things weren’t adding up. You were getting more and more perplexed.

He paused for a moment, gazing into your irises. You kept a worried demeanor as you waited patiently. The warm light of your floor lamp in the corner shined onto a side of you, cascading soft shadows of your side profile on the wooden ground.

“If I tell you, then I’d have to tell you things that I’m not proud of.” He explained softly, almost frightened that you’d want nothing to do with him. “You might hate who I’ve become.” His eyes filled with sorrow as he could feel the tears welling up again.

You sucked in your lips as you contemplated a move. Before you even made a choice, you crawled next to him before making yourself comfortable and sat, feeling the warmth he radiated. You looked up at his puzzled face. Before he could question, you motioned him to come and patted his lap.

Though stunned at your forward behavior, his eyes softened. You smiled tenderly and nodded, indicating it was okay. You did your motions once more before he placed his head on your lap, laying his body on the ground. Once his head settled, your appendages caressed through his ebony tendrils to soothe him, repeating the action over and over again.

“Taehyung, I could never hate you.” Your voice was so delicate, but held the heaviest meanings that Taehyung heard in a long time. “Though I don’t know what’s going on with you, please know that your resilience grows every day, more than yesterday, less than tomorrow. You’ll get through it.” You nodded to yourself, deep into thought. “You overcame so many things; bike riding, lighting, stage fright, endless training, close to disbanding. You’ve become successful and loved by many, Taehyung. You reached your goals! I would assume you’d be happier.” You sounded so positive, like how you were when you were younger, his little hope. But the familiar light only shattered him, becoming overshadowed by his intrusive thoughts. Only he knew it wasn’t all true. 

With shaking lips, a cry escaped from his mouth not realizing that he was holding it in. You whispered caring nothings while you brushed your fingers into his scalp. His body pumping as his shoulders trembled as the sobs continued to fall. 

It was at that moment he realized that you were probably gonna find out the side of him he has been trying to hide from you. The side that grew when you were gone in his life, the tragic shit of his life. He didn’t want to tell you, but he knew he could never lie to you. He trusted you.

He will always trust you.

“You say I’m resilient when I’m not.” He began with denial oozing at the words “You may think that my life has been nothing but glamorous with expensive name brands, International celebrity connections, and being loved by millions, from all my “success”. That my happiness is from all of that.” He chuckled, yet there was no humor in his tone. He bit his lips, quietly attempting to stop his sorrows. “But it’s not, ___.” He stabilized his breathing, feeling pressure in his chest. “I haven’t been happy for a while, and…and I don’t know what happened. I don’t know at all.”

He turned his head up so that he saw your face. Your arm hooked around the side of his face, your forearm feeling against his supple yet worn-down cheeks. Your digits were still attached to his hair. Your eyes were crystal clear, shining at him with the worrisome expression you’d been carrying since he saw you tonight. Yet you were getting confused, “What do you mean?”

The waves of sadness, the trickling of despair in his voice, and the tiredness against the hallows of his eyes and cheeks remained evident in the idol as he revealed what he has been dealing with for the years apart. His increasing anxiety and depression, therapy, the band, the scandals and cover-ups, and hurting numbness to his feelings ultimately resulted in his battle with substances and alcoholism.

Though he mentioned the overcoming of drugs and being clean for a year, the feigned chuckle in his voice indicated no other improvement to all the other shit happening to him. He still felt ashamed of what had become of him. V of BTS, Kim Taehyung, your Taehyung, your Hyungie grew up in a reckless brain of disappointment behind all that fame, fortune, and success. The continuous pressure of being this inhumane super idol representative of his national country in the public eye when really he was a human man struggling to find himself and the joy that was once in his life.

Even instances where he almost ran into mayhem from his behavior. If his members, mainly Jimin and Jungkook, or his friends didn’t find him on time, the paparazzi would have arrived to mess up his reputation and possibly his life.

Through the pain seeping out his voice and the straining tears on his face, you could tell how much it was affecting him, giving a hard time to even say it out loud. You knew he hid something, but it was nothing that you expected. Yet you knew how much he feared, how much it hurt him, having the control of his life being taken away by something he loved doing. 

You kept silent, listening to his speaking while patting his hair. Your pants were soaked by his tears. At times, he had to pause for a moment to let out longer sobs when the feeling got too much. Once it seemed his story met the end, he sat up from your lap to stare into your eyes with his dull ones. “All this love and support, yet I still feel fucking empty!” He raised his voice out of nowhere, making you flinch. Noticing, he apologized quietly through his pupils. He spoke softly this time, “It’s all too much to handle, and adding onto everyone fucking keeping their eyes on me like I’m some zoo animal or puppet to attend to their needs. I just hate it.”

Stillness met around you much longer than anticipated because honestly, you didn’t know what to say to him. You didn’t want to say something he might not want to hear. He might have heard it before and it probably didn’t work. When in doubt, sometimes silence and listening would be the best thing to do.

“___?” He called your name out so timidly. You slightly nodded, telling him you were still here with him. “You think I’m a piece of shit, right?”

You furrowed your eyebrows at his accusation. “What? No, I don’t.”

“You’re lying.”

“Taehyung, I may have been harsh to you but I would never think of you like that.”

“Why not? There’s obviously something wrong with me.” He countered, not truly believing you. “All this shit is because of me.”

“No, nothing is wrong with you.” You fought back, shaking your head. “Things happened to you, Taehyung. You’re not what those events are.”

The idol kept his sodden eyes on you, hardening by the second. However, you too had your pupils focused on him, almost as if you were fighting to win yet your stare was much more gentle and empathetic. With that, it made him believe the authenticity of the words you were saying.

He softened his look and sniffed as he looked away to gaze over at your corner lamp. “You’re the only person who isn’t blaming me for my mess.” Turning his head back to you, he sighed “Whatever I do, I just feel like shit and get blamed. I feel lost and so tired of everything.”

“It’s okay to feel lost. You should give grace to yourself. I mean, you have been in the spotlight since you were young, so the pace is slower, unfortunately.”

“But how long am I gonna be like this?” He groaned in agony. Tears are physically drained out of him, but the redness pierced through his skin. “It’s been years!”

You thinned your lips and nodded, acknowledging his grief. “You should know I can’t answer that.” Though your answer wasn’t the best, it didn’t seem like he was bothered by it at all. “I know I’ll never be in your shoes and I will never know what’s going on in your head, but I do know how strong you are, Taehyung. You’ve always been, for yourself and others.” He remained quiet. But the dimming within the dark hues of his irises suddenly sparkled faintly.  “It sucks and frustrating, and all these annoying shits because people don’t always understand you. You’re kinda hard to crack at times. Maybe that’s why it’s taking longer than usual. But those who truly know the lengths you have to take to overcome this. They will help you understand what you need to bring the goodness and happiness out of you.”

“Will I ever be happy, ___?” He spoke ever so timidly like he desperately needed an answer. 

You leaned back, resting your palms on the hard wooden floor. “They always say good things will happen especially when you least expect it. It’ll come when the time is right.”

But you’re here now and you were the best thing that ever happened to me.

Taehyung had an exhaustive look within his gloom, taking in your words. It was true, not many people understood him especially personally. Even if they did, they’d argue his logic like he was wrong for that. So at that moment, he remembered how much you were the one true person that made him be seen. Exposed and vulnerable. You saw the real Kim Taehyung.

With that, you weren’t expecting the idol to crawl towards your form to wrap his long arms around you as he rested his head in the crook of your neck. His nose gently grazed your skin, letting you inhale sharply. Luckily, he was too deep into his thoughts so you placed your palm on his back before fully reciprocating back.

“Thank you.” The vibration of his voice moved through your goosebumps. “Thank you for your words, for saving me, for everything since you came back. Thank you for being here again, Blue.”

A subtle smile ghosted on your lips at the sound of the nickname, letting him get away with it only this time. “You don’t need to thank me. I’ll be honest when I say I hate it at times, but I’ll be on your side no matter what.”

“Really? Even when I fuck up? Or when the members are mad at me?”

“Well, yeah.” He parted away to look into your eyes. “I’ve known you longer than those around us. It’s your word against theirs; I would believe you than them.”

The way you explained yourself had Taehyung’s heart skipping in a fluttering rapid manner. You spoke so honestly, it said it all on your face too. The gentleness and reassurance he knew and loved.

“Of course, it doesn’t mean I agree with you. I’ll tell your shit with the back of my hand.” Though your words were hard, you continued that tendering tone with an empathetic smile that would make all living entities’ hearts melt. But the contrast made the idol let out a deep chuckle, shaking his head while you weren’t fazed at all. “I’m only being honest.”

“As you are,” Taehyung confirmed before biting his lip. He knew how late it was, but still rejected the thought of going back to his house…with Clara if she was back. He didn’t want the members or his friends to get roped into this because that would require him to explain what happened tonight. “Do you think I could sleep over here?”

You looked taken aback at his question, cocking your brow up. “Tonight? Here?” You asked, then he nodded confidently. “A-are you sure?”

“Please? After what happened…I don’t want anyone else to know and bug me.”

“But…” You had mixed feelings about his request. Sure, you had tons of sleepovers in the past but it was in the past. There were certain things to consider with your decision, and most of it had to do with your boundaries and your hesitancy despite your now willingness to fully accept him.

“Please?” He asked again, with so much vulnerability leaking out of that single word.

But after these recent events and the fact he revealed the darkness of his life update to you, all you wanted was for him to feel safe.

“Do you wanna shower too? I have a spare towel, but I need to dig for larger-sized clothes.” You got up from the floor and started heading down the hallway to your room. “I think I brought some of my grandfather’s pajamas by mistake.” Your voice echoed through your apartment.

Though you didn’t explicitly say yes, Taehyung knew the answer, making him grin like an idiot as he watched your form disappear into the hall. He then crawled up to follow you. It took him a couple of seconds to see where your bedroom was located as it was the only door that was wide open with the lights on.

Once he entered, he noticed that the only furniture there was a neatly made blue-sheeted bed and oak dresser. The surface of the dresser was filled with books, a jewelry box, empty cans of Coca-Cola, and various miscellaneous items.

You were living a very minimalist life, he thought. When the two of you were younger, you always decorated your room. You had a multitude of plush toys on your bed given by your grandparents, his parents, other neighbors, and him too. You liked to plaster pictures of family, him, and art, and posters of your favorite artists on your wall, and displayed your rock collection that remained in one corner of your room.

Nothing in this room screamed “you.” It felt very temporary like you weren’t belonging to this place.

Taehyung then turned away from looking to spot you digging through your closet. He heard you let out an “umph” before you sat back on the floor with a red sweater and a matching-colored pair of plaid pants.

“I was right! I did bring a box of his clothes on accident!” You smiled when you looked up at the idol standing. “They were supposed to be donations, but I grabbed them by mistake and just kept them.” You raised the clothes to him. 

The idol gladly took them into his hands and grinned. “You know your grandfather is a very tall man. I don’t know if I could even fit his clothes.”

“Nonsense, I think you’re as tall as him now. I mean it has been some time.” You got up from the floor and let out a sigh.

“How is he anyways? How has he been since your grandmother passed?”

They were harmless questions that Taehyung asked as simple curiosity and wanting to know how your family was doing. But those very questions made your smile drop into a sorrowful frown.

Taehyung stared at you questionably at the shift in your mood. It seemed like your brain was gearing up, trying to process what he said. He didn’t think it was anything bad but with the slight thinning of your lips with your nostrils flaring, he felt like he said something wrong.

But before he could even defend himself, you nodded casually as you put back a small grin. “Oh yeah, he’s fine. Same strong, gentle old man. Just been busy with the farm and everything. Just thinking about him working in his old age frustrates me, you know?” You were rambling, and it happens because of three things: you got nervous, angry, or you were hiding something.

Taehyung immediately knew the choices but didn’t speak further. It has been a rough night for him and probably for you now, so he didn’t want to add more stress. “He should retire soon, or pass the farm to you or someone else.”

“Yeah…” You sighed, already wanting to change the subject. “You should go shower. Towels inside the hallway closet and I have a spare toothbrush under the bathroom sink.”

The idol nodded, “Maybe, you should go first. It’s late, and a school night. You also have longer hair than me, so it’d take longer to dry.”

Completely forgetting that tomorrow you had a morning class, you mentally cursed yourself. It was close to one in the morning, and usually around this time, you’d still study but you didn’t have the mental capacity right now. You were exhausted and needed to get as much sleep as possible.

“Are you sure?” You asked.

“Of course, Blue. I don’t mind, you’re literally housing me.” He patted your head as you stared up at him.

Your eyebrows pinched before you formed a pout. “I told you to stop calling me Blue.”

“It’s a force of habit.” He shrugged before squeezing your cheek. “Do you know how hard it is for me to call you by your name?”

“It’s not as hard, you know. A normal person calls me by my name.”

“I don’t give a fuck if I’m not normal or not. Blue will forever be your name for me.”

Though you’d normally get angry or show some type of anger, you were forcing yourself to suppress a smile at what he said. A smile that he noticed, so he didn’t take it as seriously.

“Whatever, Taehyung.” You shook your head before gathering up your clothes to shower and change.

“That’s not my name for you.” He denied.

“I’m not saying it. I don’t want to.”

“Why not?” Now he was acting a bit playful, which you didn’t mind. “It’s Blue and Hyungie! Not ___ and Taehyung!”

“You can’t be serious. We had those nicknames when we were kids. We’re nearly in our thirties!”

“Does it look like I care if we’re almost thirty?” The idol reasoned once more. “You being Blue means so much to me. You, of all people, should know how much you mean to me.” He spoke gently when he explained himself, almost sensitive to this topic.

You didn’t know how to respond at that. Though you knew how much you cared about him, you didn’t know how much it was reciprocated back. You had partially low expectations now on how much importance you were towards Taehyung’s life.

So you honestly said, “No, I’m not sure about now…”

The devastation wasn’t enough to describe his expression. A bit of concern, a lot of worry, maybe even frustration. Whatever emotion there was, Taehyung felt worse, realizing the immense strain between you and him. You didn’t trust him, you didn’t know how much he cared and meant to you, it was almost as if every memory made was completely garbage to say the least. At least that was what he thought.

Before he could even say a sound, you quickly changed the subject. “I’m gonna go shower. Just make yourself comfortable.” You said in a rush as you collected some clothes and your towel hanging on the door knob.

Taehyung stood there dumbfounded and exhausted. There was too much to think about and all he wanted to do was not think. He just got to you, he shouldn’t be greedy with this. 

-

While you showered, there wasn’t much for Taehyung to do. You lived in a rather infinite yet empty apartment. He roamed around your place about five times, so he was sure he saw everything you owned here.

Well, almost everything.

He was back in your room, eyes scanning the dresser. Items were still in the same position as he first saw them, but now he had more scrutiny, specifically for your jewelry box. It caught his eyes the most; it was worn down, graphics and patterns faded over time, yet still managed to keep its shape.

He soon realized it was the one his family gave you during a Christmas of your childhood.

The campfire that Taehyung’s father, Jitae, made blazed brightly outside in the back of their house. You, your grandparents, and his family surrounded the fire, taking in the warmth while being covered in jackets and snuggled in thick blankets provided by his mother.

While his siblings, with the help of his grandmother and father, were making s’mores and roasted marshmallows, you and Taehyung shared a blanket and sat in a large woven chair as he wrapped his skinny limbs around you for extra warmth and comfort. It was a relaxing Christmas Eve, and both families wanted to celebrate together because the more, the merrier. The bond was always strong between each other so it was only fair to do so with one another.

“Would you kids like to open one present before Christmas?” Taehyung’s mom, Miseon, asked with a smile. She already had two gifts while your grandmother had the other two.

The obvious answer was saying yes with immense joy in our tones. So when the two women distributed the presents, greedy hands from the Kim siblings snatched them right away. You, on the other hand, looked at his mom curiously when she gave you one. 

“___, this is from us to you,” Miseon informed. “Gifts are never enough to show how much we truly love and care for you, dear. You’ve always been a great blessing to us.”

“HEY!” Sungyeon, the youngest of three, pouted. “That’s not fair!”

“Sungie, don’t be selfish.” Their mom scolded gently but her face showed all the strictness, which ultimately shut him up, and continued opening his toy. Then looked back at you with a more calmer and happier expression. “We hope you like it.”

Smiling, you proceeded to unbox your present. Unlike the others, the way you opened gifts was done in a very neat way. Peeling off the tapes on the sides, carefully slicing the wrapping paper, and sliding it off with precision.

Meanwhile, Taehyung shredded the paper.

You opened the lid which ultimately made you confused. You took it out and observed the outside of it. It was another box, yes, but it was light blue with gold accents around the surface, edges were also gold but felt like metal. The edges were sharp and crisped. Some of the gold engraved your initials on the top of the lid. It even smelled nice too.

You found the opening latch, which also had the option to put an additional lock on it. When you unlocked it, the top popped open surprising you in the process. Nevertheless, you were in awe. There were what appeared to be velvet containers and organizers within the box with a fairly decent mirror. But the thing that made you fall in love was the small ballerina pirouetting slowly as a toy box jingle of Swan Lake played.

“It’s a jewelry box,” Miseon explained to your confused ten-year-old self. “You can put your necklaces, rings, and bracelets in here for safekeeping. I know there’s that necklace your parents gave you and the bracelets you’ve been making.” You nodded as you unconsciously grabbed onto the flower pendant you still used and never took off. “You can put them in here, or any sentimental items you have.”

“Thank you, auntie! I love it.” You cheesed at the box. Anything they gave you, you always took it with pride and honor. Your grandparents watched with smiles as you touched and caressed your jewelry box. Taehyung even stopped to look at you and admire your gift, his present in his lap was long forgotten.

“You know ___, remember you can also call me mom.” Miseon reminded you. A while back, his parents asked permission from your grandparents if it was okay. Because you lost your parents at such a young age and the way you seamlessly meshed into their family, they both wanted to be there to support and love you as their own. Your grandparents were fine with it, knowing the trust that has been built through the years but it was only the matter if you’d accepted them.

“And call me dad.” Jitae chimed in as he sat on the edge next to you. You pursed your lips before nodding quietly, still not giving them a clear answer to their offer.

 “Why do you want ___ to call you that?” Sungyeon asked with a hit of jealousy. “You’re our mom and dad, not hers!”

Then Eunjeong slapped the back of her younger brother’s head, making him wince in pain. “You dummy, don’t be mean! ___ doesn’t have parents, that’s why!” She meant well, but all the adults and Taehyung gasped, knowing how sensitive you were about the mentioning of your parents.

Taehyung slithered his arms around you before pulling you back into his body before you could even react, “Both of you, be quiet! I told you not to talk about that! Blue is sensitive, you know!”

“Now children, calm down.” Your grandmother stepped in, wanting to ease the tension between the angered eldest and the now frightened younger two. “Be careful with your words because they can hurt others. ___ does have parents, they’re just not here anymore. She knows that. And second—”

“It’s okay, grandma.” You interrupted your grandmother, making everyone crane their heads at you. You finally spoke after being silent, feeling it was right to do so. “Yeah, I know my parents are gone…I still miss them.”

“Blue, it’s okay. Cry it out.” Taehyung cooed, tightening his grip on you but his coddling made you laugh and shake your head before parting away from him.

“Hyungie, I’m not sad about it as much.” You reassured. “Besides, I have a family here!” You opened your arms, showcasing to those around you. “I have my grandparents…siblings…a best friend…” You turned to face his parents, showing all the love you had for them in your eyes. “Parents?” You said it so softly but it was enough for both of his parents to have tears in their eyes.

You got up from the chair to stand in front of Miseon and looked up at her. “I have a mom, but…you can also be my mom too.” You craned your head over to Jitae. “And you can also be my dad too!”

Your reveal made his parents rush to hug you with a strong yet welcoming embrace. You were squished between the two but felt the love they emitted.

Though you barely had time with your actual parents, you still held and thought of them very highly. You remembered what they did with you, how much love they had for you, and giving you what you wanted and needed. But the memories were fading as you grew older, the distance between them and you, their faces were only shown in pictures. It was harder since they weren’t physically here anymore.

You were finally willing to bring them in, willing for them to be part of your life from now on.

Sungyeon was about to protest but Eunjeong nudged him to be quiet to not ruin the beautiful moment. 

Taehyung smiled at the innocent memory. You were always well loved by his family, his parents treating you as if you were their child and even taking care of you when your grandparents were busy. In some ways, his parents wanted you to be part of the Kim family.

His siblings seemed to love you more than they did with him, which never bothered Taehyung at all since he got to see that bright smile on your face.

Even after the falling, his parents or siblings would mention you from time to time, wondering if you were ever okay and doing well for yourself. They tried their best to contact you, but it seemed that you were incognito and keeping your distance. It hurt both ends, but at least they wanted the best for one another. You were also a memory for them since it’s been years since they last saw you or your grandparents.

Mindlessly, Taehyung opened the box which revealed pouches of earrings and necklaces and a row of rings. You know the typical items inside a jewelry box.

However, what caught his eye was a handmade craft he didn’t think he’d ever see again. 

It was your friendship bracelet, also worn down, whithering over time, yet still intact. Despite a few chips, scratches, bumps, and a little piece of your initial charm missing, everything was there! He couldn’t believe that you still kept yours all this time. He never thought about you keeping yours, he assumed it was gone forever. But this was incredible for him.

Especially knowing that he too kept his.

It was kept in a box filled with childhood memorabilia inside his closet including the pictures of you and him through the years. Gifts, notes, letters, everything that he could bring to Seoul. During his training days, while everyone was asleep, he would read them late at night when he felt himself missing you.

Which was every day.

But after your friendship was over, Taehyung hid all those physical memories from everyone including himself. Though feeling so guilty and ashamed of his explosive younger self, he knew deep down he didn’t have the heart to throw away the box of you. Just the thought of it was a complete absurdity. He refused to erase anything of you.

Even now.

He had a sudden urge to open the box immediately once he gets home, without Clara of course. If she didn’t know shit about you, then she definitely won’t know about that box.

-

After washing up and getting ready for bed, the two of you were in pajamas. Taehyung sat on your bed, scrolling away on his phone. You went back to your closet, retrieving some thicker blankets. He heard ruffling before looking up to watch you retrieve one of the pillows on your mattress. You didn’t think much about giving up your bed for him, so you were getting ready to leave the bedroom before he stopped you.

“What are you doing?” He questioned, getting off of the bed to stand.

You stopped your track, giving him a confusing expression. “What?”

“Where are you going with that?” He worryingly nodded toward what you were carrying.

“Uhh, going to the living to make my bed?”

“Wha—___! Don’t do that.”

“Why not? I need to sleep somewhere.” You weren’t affected by this decision, but Taehyung begged to differ.

“Yeah, that’s why there’s your bed right here.” He said matter-of-a-factly.

“You’re the guest, Taehyung. You need to be comfortable.”

“I don’t feel comfortable with you sleeping outside of the bedroom.” He reasoned softly. “No offense, ___, but your living room looks lonely…”

You snorted, “I think you’ve mistaken lonely for poor.”

“That’s not what I meant!”

“I’m teasing, Taehyung.” You rolled your eyes as you reassured him but he continued to look stooped and pouty. You decided to leave him be to walk your way to the living room. But before you can do so, Taehyung jogged up to you and took the blankets out of your hands. “It’s fine, I got th—wait, you’re going the wrong way!”

Carrying the fabrics, he settled them down on the bed. You followed behind and tried to get them back but he lightly pushed your face away. You were taken aback as you glared at him, having the urge to kick his shin but you held back.

“Don’t sleep in the living room. Stay here, I’ll sleep out there.”

“See, that’s where you’re wrong. I’m gonna say no.” You ruthlessly shut him down.

“___!”

“No, Taehyung, you’re not sleeping out there. It’s rude for me to give you the floor, especially after your panic attack. I need you to feel cozy and secure.” You explained. “Do you still have trouble sleeping at night after an episode?”

“Y-yeah, but—”

“Exactly, so just take the bed. It’s already late, and I have class tomorrow. I don’t want to argue.”

Taehyung bit down on his lips, wanting to counter back. But he knew you were right. He always had trouble sleeping after his panic attacks. Even his doctor told him he needed to be as comfortable and relaxed as possible.

But the last time he felt that away after an episode was sleeping with Jimin, and the last other person to do that for him was you. And with you, it’s different.

“Fine, I’ll take the bed.” He ultimately gave in, which satisfied you. But then he said, “But if I need to be comfortable, then I don’t want you to stay in the living room. I’ll feel unsettled knowing you’re out there.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, “Why?”

“I just am! I feel bad too, you’re uncomfortable in your apartment.”

“I’m not, I actually sleep on the floor from time to time, intentionally and unintentionally because I pass out after studying.” You simply said, but you don’t seem to get his point.

“Don’t sleep in the living room then.” He pressed onto you.

“Then where am I going to sleep? The bathroom?”

“Here.”

“What do you mean here?” You further inquired, wary of what he meant.

“I mean here.” He pointed down, motioning to the room. “You can sleep on the bed with me too…” Your eyes bulged out of the sockets, making him realize what he said. “Come on, I didn’t mean it like that! Just sleep! Just sleep.”

“Taehyung…”

“You don’t need to sleep on the bed, it was just a suggestion. I swear! Want you to be comfortable too.” He defended himself. “If not, at least sleep here on the floor.”

“Do you think that I would be comfortable sleeping here? What if I’m not? Even after you said that.”

Taehyung’s mouth opened then closed, struggling to gather his words. He didn’t think about that, and now he felt like an asshole wanting what he said. “D-do you feel uncomfortable at what I said? I’m sorry, it wasn’t my intention. Really, I—Good night then. Sorry again.”

“Don’t be sorry, Taehyung. I get what you mean, and I’m not uncomfortable.” You promised, lightly smiling. “I don’t mind but I didn’t want to suggest it.”

“How come?”

“Are you really going to ask me that?” You rolled your eyes, thinking he wasn’t being serious. But when he stared curiously at you, he didn’t understand what you meant.

Today was too long for you. However, though you were exhausted, your mind was wide awake, recapturing all that had happened in the past twenty-four hours. That also included what went through your head while you were away from him.

You didn’t want to have this conversation yet, but maybe this will make him understand how you feel and your boundaries. That way you’d feel a little lighter and not have to worry about it from now on. “Taehyung.”

“Hmm.”

You wanted to be direct, and as clear as possible. “Were you really trying to kiss me?” More forward than that. “Actually, scratch that. Why were you going to kiss me?”

Okay, he didn’t expect that to come out of your mouth, especially now. Yet he knew exactly what you were talking about. The question now was what was he going to say? How was he going to respond?

He thought long and hard as you anticipated his answer. “Uhh, I don’t know.”

You blinked, “you don’t know?”

“I…I don’t know, ___, or at least I don’t know how to put it into words.” He shook his head at himself, gathering his feelings. “I guess I was… at the moment? Look, ___, being with you always made me feel right. It reminded me of how we were. I’d hold you, kiss your forehead, temple, cheek, anywhere really.”

“So you were wanting to be like old times?” You wondered, still puzzled.

“Kinda? Well, now you know the shit I’m in, so hanging out with you felt like going back in time when nothing was like this. I felt so alive, and safe. Like I wasn’t V, but Kim Taehyung.”

That still didn’t answer your question, especially when you wanted to say that he was going for your lips than your cheek or head. It didn’t matter as much right now because he said something else that sparked your interest. “Our past was innocent and young, we didn’t know anything! That’s why it was like that and unfortunately, Taehyung, we’re older. Our younger selves would have never known what was happening with us and between us. We can’t sink into the sand of our memories. That’s how people aren’t able to move on.”

“I know, but all I want is to feel happy again and the only times I truly felt it was when I was younger.” He sounded like he was begging, but you didn’t know to who.

“How do you suppose to do that then? You can’t go back in time and relive your prepubescent self.”

He chuckled lowly, “I can’t go back, but I can make new memories. Hopefully, they’re happier and less traumatizing.” 

“I do want you to have that too. Don’t think about happy memories, focus on happy experiences in the present.”

“Maybe, especially when you’re back.” He shrugged.

“Don’t say stuff like that.” You sighed, not wanting to hear that.

“I know, but knowing how you were in my past when I was enjoying life, helps to hope for those “joyful” experiences.”

You mumbled incoherent sounds before grabbing the blankets to prepare your makeshift futon next to the bed. Slumber was slowly getting to you and you wanted to mentally cry at the time—close to three in the morning and you had to wake up at six to get ready for your 8 AM class, then work. Yup, the day was nearing. Should you skip it? No, that would be a waste on your loans.

As you mentally prepared yourself for the morning, Taehyung got into the covers and cuddled with the single pillow he had for the night. His head could sleep without it.

He watched you place the layers of blankets down on the floor. As he did so, he recapped what you both discussed earlier. Now it was his turn to ask some questions, but he forgot to do something first.

“I’m sorry, ___.”

You finished the last layer before you turned, spotting him laying on his side holding a pillow. He too had the face of defeat, but yet he continued when you kept your silence.

“I’m sorry that I tried to kiss you. It wasn’t my intention to, I don’t know what came over me. Nonetheless, it still happened and it got you angry.” He explained, cautiously and neatly. “I also want you to know how much I value you and our relationship. I never want to hurt you. Even get you angry, but that always happens.” You nodded calmly, taking it all in. “I still want your friendship. I’ll do what it takes. Please don’t give up on us like that. I’m stupid, but I’ve been like that and I’m trying.”

Taehyung waited fearfully for your response. You appeared composed and unaffected, but that was probably because you were so tired to feel any rigorous emotions right now. You just wanted to go to bed, but you knew you needed to say something.

You closed your eyes and exhaled before peeling them open, “Taehyung…if I say yes, there need to be boundaries.” You finally replied.

His face scrunched at your request. “Like what? We’ve never had something like that before.”

“Well, it’s now. Don’t think about the past right now.” You shook your head. “We’re older, so there should be respectful walls between us.”

Taehyung nodded slowly, understanding your needs. “I’ll be respectful. I’m sorry again for trying to do that.”

“As long as it never happens again, and besides you have Clara, remember?” You mentioned, putting a distasteful expression on him. “You don’t wanna ruin your relationship over someone like me. Don’t wanna follow that same route again.”

Your words piqued his interest, “Again? What do you mean again?”

Fuck, you slipped that out so casually, exposing yourself in front of him like that. “Huh, oh, nothing. I…yeah, nothing.”

“___, it doesn’t sound like nothing,” Taehyung said, maneuvering himself to get a good look at you. He rested his elbows on the mattress, cupping his cheeks. He observed your avoidance, eyes roaming everywhere else instead of him. “___, what happened?” He had to think again. “If you’re uncomfortable, you don’t need to tell me. I’m sorry if I’m overstepping.”

You sighed, shaking your head. You finally gazed at him, his stare so attentive towards you. “You’re not overstepping…it’s just…I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Try your best. Say it ugly if you have to.”

“When you tried to kiss me or something, I got triggered.” You tried to find the words, biting your lips as you thought about how to approach this. “I was…scarred in the past.”

Furrowing his eyebrows together, Taehyung questioned. “What do you mean? What happened? Were you okay?”

“It’s done and over, but it still makes me unsettled.” You explained. Taehyung waited patiently for you to continue. Though he stared in silence, his aura encouraged you to be vulnerable in front of him…like the old times when he made you feel safe and sound as you used to tell him everything.

Well, not everything.

“It was back in undergrad, but uhhh, when I was a freshman, I dated an upperclassman.” You exposed yourself. This was something you hated thinking and talking about, but it was also something that needed to be clear and said, especially to Taehyung.

You dated someone?? That surprised him. Not saying he never expected you to date, it just surprised him that you actually dated someone. He had so many questions—who was he? What did he look like? What was he like? Did he ever savor your glory? Did he ever laugh the way he did? Was he ever part of your story, one that Taehyung gave up on long ago? Did he fill in his part?

Then again, you said you were scarred, so that fueled some fire within him, getting irrationally upset about this unknown dude. 

But he stopped himself and asked, “Wait, you did?”

You nodded calmly as opposed to his shocked yet steady demeanor. “He was a TA for a class. I asked for help, and it happened. He was sweet, nice to me, and brought me flowers a couple of times. Guess you can say he was my first boyfriend, well, a lot of my firsts…”

Taehyung frowned, his mouth curling down deeply. There were visions in his head he wanted to push away. “So what happened?”

“What he didn’t tell me was that he had a girlfriend.”

“Wait, so he cheated on you?!”

“No, he cheated on her with me.” You said flatly, but your heart squeezed from the visceral memory. You breathed in and out carefully, hoping you weren’t going to cry over something stupid years ago. You shouldn’t cry over that man. “I was the other woman, yet I did not know of it for like almost an entire year. No one even told me, so who knows if others knew this whole time.” Your fists clenched as you pulled your legs to your chest. “Eventually, she and I found out but she put all the blame on me and spread a rumor around campus that I was a home wrecker. They broke up, but I guess my reputation got destroyed. Or even worsen? I didn’t have any true friends even before that. Civil roommates, but that was it. Everyone knew me as the home wrecker so…”

You were also tired of crying about that horrific past, yet it still haunted you. When it happened, it felt like everything was your fault. What was worse was that you had no support system anymore. Everything you did, through college and other hardships, you felt incredibly alone and lonely. Those years truly felt the lowest for you.

The tears escaped without your permission, but you didn’t bother wiping them away because if you did, you’d acknowledge you were crying. But Taehyung wasn’t going to lay there and do nothing, so he scooted off the bed and sat next to your makeshift futon. He pulled you into him as you sniffled and the streams continued down your cheeks, also staining his shirt. He rubbed your back and wiped the tears for you.

“Taehyung, I promise this isn’t meant to guilt you but I wished you were still there for me.” Your lips quivered, breaking both of your hearts at your sad confession. “Everyone hated me. It was so hard without my best friend.”

Yet Taehyung felt the guilt eating him alive. He left you alone, with no one by your side to protect you. He wished he could cry because seeing you in this state would leave him sobbing like a baby, but it seemed the tears and overwhelming events restrained him from doing so. He hated seeing his Blue sad.

“I’m so sorry again. I still feel like shit about what happened.” He said, holding you tighter in his arms.

“It’s whatever already.” You sniffed, letting it go as it was the least of your concerns at this point. You quietly apologized for ruining his sleepwear, but he didn’t care. “It did hurt, but I’m sure you had your reasons.”

He did have his reasons, but it wasn’t the time to say so he nodded. “That’s horrible though, what you experienced. I’m sorry you had to go through with that.”

“I was a stupid teenager who didn’t know any better,” You reasoned. “I think I was too focused on the fact that someone actually liked and wanted to be with me. It was like a miracle.” You lightly joked at the end, but Taehyung took it seriously.

“Why’d you say that?”

“Taehyung, I wasn’t necessarily a catch, even back in Geochang.” You told him. “I mean my first kiss was even made into a joke. In general, I never had someone who truly loved me in that sense.” He stayed silent as he looked at your reddened face. You didn’t bother to notice his expression directed at you, as you went on. “When I was with him, it felt exciting at first. Only now I realized how much I kept saying yes to him because I thought he loved me and I didn’t want to make him upset.”

“Why?”

Your teary eyes met his hardened ones before you simply answered, “If I made him upset, then he’d leave me.”

The air grew slightly thick from your response. It was unintentional, yet intentional. You’ve said so much, yet so little. Taehyung realized now that there was much more you haven’t spoken about the in-between gap. While he spoke up, you chose to stay silent. Yet everything that has happened without him, like this experience, made a clear effect on you, and somehow also bit him in the ass.

He wanted to stir the conversation slightly, otherwise, the night will become light in no time. “You were still in Geochang, right?” You nodded tiredly. “Who was this fucking son of a bitch? Do you remember his name?”

“Kim Minjae.”

“Wait, I know that fucker. We were on the same soccer team. I’m gonna find him and bea—”

His response made you chuckle softly, patting his head in delight. Your smile eased his temper, despite biting his tongue. “Taehyung, it’s okay. You don’t need to do that because he got a teacher pregnant and is now working as a fisherman to pay his child support. I think he knows what he’s done.” The universe was on your side this time. You also remembered being flabbergasted but lowkey satisfied when that drama spread from the college to the entire town of Geochang. It was not pretty at all, but it got your name out of everyone’s mouth.

“Still, you were all alone and you went through that unnecessary shit.”

“Yes, but I overcame it. Well, not really. You just saw me cry over something that happened when I was 18. But my skin and heart are tougher, harder to break through.”

“Nah, I could poke you and know that you’re the biggest softie I know.” He cooed, causing you to roll your eyes but grin lightly. 

“Anyways, I’m saying this because though we were friends again, we shouldn’t be so affectionate with each other.” You revealed. Though his touch comforted you, you pulled and moved away from him, giving some space in between.

But Taehyung appeared insulted and hurt. “Why? That’s how we always were.”

“Yes, but I’m sure no one else would understand.” You countered, scratching your neck. “Your members, friends, Clara, might get the wrong idea, and…I don’t wanna end up in that position again. Even though nothing’s happening between us and I’m sure your actions mean well, but for my sake. I-I’m scared.”

Was it asking for a lot? Maybe. But you needed to get it out of you. This may be a sudden realization as to why you weren’t as sure about bringing Taehyung back into your life. You’ve seen those articles and comments media and some fans put out for the world to see. People misinterpreted things all the time, or worse, warped them as bait to cause drama.

Though Taehyung understood what you meant, that didn’t mean he liked hearing it. He always took pride in your bond with him, something that no one ever quite understood and instead led to various assumptions. Yet most of the time didn’t bother to care and went along with your day.

Boundaries were never discussed, but that was only because they never existed between the two of you! Although if the memories weren’t mistaken, oftentimes, there were restrictions. 

But this was slightly new territory for you and Taehyung. A rather comfortably uncomfortable situation. Nevertheless, it needed to happen to make this work for your strained relationship.

Taehyung sighed before nodding in agreement, “Okay, for you. But can I at least hug you?”

“Sure.” You shrugged. “Friends hug.”

“How about sleeping on the bed?”

“Taehyung, that’s pushing it.” You said sternly, suppressing the light grin on your face. Taehyung always did reason with you.

“Hey, I slept on the bed with my members and friends!” He argued back. “We even cuddled with each other.”

“Taehyung, I’m serious.” You groaned, raising your voice.

Taehyung laughed a hefty one out loud, almost sounding forced which frightened your irritable and tired state. You stared with eyes wide bewildering.  “I’m sorry, but I’m getting tired of you calling me Taehyung.” He brought this up once again.

You raised an eyebrow and said, “It’s your name!” Seriously, why was he taking this so seriously? It was getting quite bothersome.

“But you call me Hyungie.” Taehyung sounded as if he was correcting you condescendingly. You were about to throw tired hands, but he continued. “And you’re my Blue. Look I know I keep bringing this up and you’re probably annoyed, but it shows the importance to me. You’re important to me! More than you know, and not doing it creates distance from us, which makes it so weird. I’ll try but I’m not used to it. I know you don’t trust me either, hell, I don’t trust me either but please have faith in me. Compromise with me!”

“Taehyung, we talked about this. I-I’m not ready for that, please understand. Little by little.” You wanted this to be over, at least for the night. It was late and you needed to get up early. “I’m trying, okay? I want to trust you, but again, there needs to be boundaries. I’m not doing this as a punishment.”

“But—”

“If it must happen, fucking just call me Blue. But I won’t call it back. No, absolutely not. I can’t.” You stood your stance, shaking your head. It was too much for you. “That’s my compromise and that’s final.”

The draining stare you offered him with no budge had him fear you slightly. You were always a scary one especially when you get upset with him. It was rare, well before, but it triggered him to stop his whining and give in to what you voiced out. It had to do for now…

“Okay, that’s fine…” He sighed as he dramatically turned his head to the side to stare at your dresser, pouting like a child. He wasn’t completely satisfied, but this was what he could get. Yet the faint grin plastered on lets him side-eye you in glee. “…Blue.”

You rolled your eyes once more before pushing him off your futon. He laughed as he crawled back into bed. “Okay, that’s settled so let’s go to sleep. I’m tired, I have to wake up early.”

“Are you sure about sleeping on the floor? The other side of the bed sure feels—”

“Taehyung, for the last time and I’m not fucking repeating myself, I’ll be fine sleeping down here. Take all the bed space or don’t, I don’t give a rat’s ass right now.” You snapped back, throwing whatever he had to “convince” you out the window. “Good night, okay? If you still have trouble sleeping, you can have my pillow too.” You grabbed your cushion and handed it to him.

“No, thank you. I need you to be comfy too.” Taehyung quickly denied it before getting into his sheets and hugging his pillow. “This is more than enough. Thank you for everything again. Thank you for opening up to me too.”

“You’re welcome.” You yawned widely as you scratched your head. “No problem with that…It was nice letting it out. Haven’t talked about that in a while. Hope tonight wasn’t that intense for you.”

“I’ve had worse nights.” He said lightly. “But man, Blue, no offense you probably have bad taste men.” He joked; the playful gleam sparked through his reddened eyes as he finally laid his back on the mattress.

“Don’t even talk about that.” You groaned, knowing he was probably right. You too laid down and were about to go to bed. “Don’t make fun of me right now, I’m sensitive.”

“Okay, I won’t. I promise.” He grinned, yet you stuck your tongue out to him. “Again, I’m sorry you had a bad first love.”

Now it was your turn to laugh forcibly to which Taehyung grew confused. “Luckily for me, he wasn’t my first love, that’s for sure. I wouldn’t be caught dead with that assumption.” You scoffed as you closed your eyes. Sleep came sooner than imagined that you didn’t realize what you said, too drowsy to notice.

Suddenly Taehyung was energized again, curious about your statement. “Really? But you said you had so many firsts with him.”

“Dates, relationship, sex, heartbreak,” You mumbled languidly, listing while pondering the thought. “First love wasn’t on the list.”

“Then you had a first love?” He questioned.

You only let a groggy noise, but it confirmed his inquiry.

“T-then who was your first love?” For an odd reason, Taehyung felt nervous asking this. Despite being best friends, the two of you never discussed each other’s love lives. Well, there wasn’t any on both sides, to begin with. He knew about your first kiss before and first boyfriend just now, but never knew anything about this. Maybe it was someone within the ten years apart? But you would have mentioned it, right?

Judging by the timeline of this boyfriend, it was when you first entered college so you were still young and most likely eighteen. That could mean your first love was way before then. If he analyzed his thoughts deeply and if the timeline was correct, you might have loved someone when he was still around.

Then the question now was who?

But no answer came from the other end.

When he turned his head, he found you knocked out spreading arms with long strands all over your face. He figured how tired you were, having done physical, emotional, and mental labor through the whole day so he lets it be.

His hand reached out to push back your hair away from your face, revealing your soft and relaxed expression. Your nose scrunched at the touch, but back to its resting state. He watched your chest rise slowly, lips slightly apart with the low sounds of your snoring escaping your mouth. Yeah, you were definitely gone.

He grinned to himself before saying, “Good night, Blue.” His back ultimately pressed down to the fabric as closed his eyes. Once shut, he realized how badly he too needed to rest.

Despite that, the question remained in his head and led to his dreams.

-

Though rushing this morning, you carefully placed the delicious breakfast plate on the kitchen counter. You woke up a little earlier than usual so you could rush down to the nearest convenience store to get some breakfast for yourself and the sleeping Taehyung.

Well, more so for him. A protein shake and breakfast bar usually sufficed for you. After an intensive night, you assumed he needed some sort of joy in the morning, and what better way than to cook him chocolate chip waffles and cut strawberries on the side?

You never cooked this much even for yourself, but you weren’t complaining. You thought of this as a warming gesture and an apology for leaving him alone in your apartment. Which by the way, you were about to miss your bus ride if you didn’t leave within the next ten minutes.

You placed a metal food net over the dish, then wrote a little note for him and placed it under the cover. You went back to your bedroom to retrieve your backpack and textbook but also noticed Taehyung sprawled out like a starfish on your bed. He held a pillow to his side while the other one was under his head and was placed by you when you woke up. You also added another layered blanket for him. You spotted his signature pout resting on him with his curled strands falling on his forehead.

The sight of his slumber had you smile pleasantly, relieved that he slept soundly and comfortably the night through. Granted, a little over four hours have passed since the two of you snoozed away but you still considered it a win.

He’ll manage around your living spaces without you and would most likely leave an hour or two after. You didn’t have much to entertain him here. You also won’t come back until late in the nighttime after your shift anyway, so who knows when will be the next time you’ll see each other?

But you hoped that it wouldn’t be as long as before.

-

Taehyung woke up in an empty apartment. Your makeshift futon had been folded and tucked in the corner near the closet. This morning was rather cold. He noticed one of the blankets you used on top of him and your pillow under his head. You did all of that without even waking him; though he was too deep in sleep to even hear you.

Once he brushed his teeth and splashed his face with some cold water, he walked towards the kitchen. Sunlight peaked through your window and reflected over the whiteness of your walls and somewhat empty apartment.

As he scoured around, he finally spotted a metal cover on the kitchen counter. He went over to pull it up, revealing the waffles with melted whipped cream and strawberries. Immediately, his mouth watered at the sight. He didn’t know how long it had been out, but he didn’t care any less. It was close to noon and he needed something to eat.

He then saw a note next to the plate. Picking it up, he read—“Sorry for leaving you here alone! I didn’t want to wake you. I have early classes and then I’m going to work. I won’t see you today (unless you stop by at the shop). Please enjoy your breakfast and I’ll see you soon! :) P.S. Feel better too <3<3!”

A smile crept up on his face, chest warming up at your kind gesture. He appreciated that in you. You probably had a busy morning, which surprised him that you had the time to make this.

Nonetheless, he devoured his breakfast, a little cold and mushy but the taste surpassed expectations. While he savored the last of the sliced fruit, he noticed all these unread messages, missed calls, and voicemails from Clara. He grimaced deeply. All her messages were repeated lines of “Where tf are you?” “Why aren’t you picking up?” “Who are you with? Seojoon oppa??” “I called Seojoon oppa and he says you’re not with him. Tae, where are you?!?!? And who??” “You shouldn’t have gone without me knowing!” and “Tae, I swear to God if you don’t pick up, I’m calling the police.” The last one typically held no threat because he knew she threw that in a bunch of that through the years. 

He didn’t even bother going through voicemails because they’ll be repetitive and hearing her whining voice was not something he wanted to hear. Everything was so peaceful and relaxed for him up until now. Ugh, he was frustrated, his mood ruined by her constant bickering and overpowering control.

Right there, he decided to ignore it all. Knowing her, she was either working or probably at their shared house waiting viciously for him to come back home. Thus the idol decided to not go home and headed over to Seojoon’s.

The younger man knew his older friend had a day off—his Wooga Squad had a shared calendar to know their schedules. What better way to spend his day than to bother Seojoon.

-

“Bro, where the fuck were you last night?” Seojoon questioned as he plotted on his couch with Taehyung spread comfortably on the side of him, both had strawberry and banana smoothies on hand provided by the idol. “Clara called me like five times in panic wondering where you were.”

Taehyung sipped on his drink quietly and casually before rolling his eyes. “It seems she always runs to you when she needs help trying to find me.”

Seojoon kept a glare at his friend, shaking his head. “Duh, because you fucking disappear like Houdini.” He gulped his smoothie before proceeding. “Also I guess she’s more comfortable with me than the others.” He referred to Wooshik, Hyungsik, Sunghwan, and Joohyuk.

The idol eyed his friend, hardening his bothered stare. “Right…she’s not as close with them, I guess.”

“So are you gonna tell me where you went?” The actor settled his drink on the coaster on his coffee table. “How about this? Did anyone else know where you were?”

Taehyung bit his lip, contemplating if he should tell him. His panic attacks weren’t a secret. He was open enough to tell his friends about his experience episodes but none of them ever were there to see it happening. But the idol might as well tell it, right?  

“Yeah, I was with ___ last night.”

Seojoon cocked an eyebrow as a wave of questions flooded his brain. But he only asked, “What happened?” He didn’t want to say beyond what he thought.

“Well, we made up.” Taehyung leaned forward, hunched over as he looked at his smoothie. “Uhh, there was more to it.”

“How so?”

“Last night, I got, uh, hammered.” The idol began. “To the point where I got into a fight.”

“Oh my God, Taehyung! Are you okay?” Concern washed Seojoon’s face as he scanned through his friend’s features, then he saw the bruising of his knuckles. “You don’t look too bad, but still. You broke your streak, you were doing so well. How did it happen?”

“Same thing on how most of my fights happen,” Taehyung huffed.

“What led you to that then?”

“I don’t know…I was really sad and hurt, and I hated what was happening with me and ___.”

“But you said you made up.”

“Yeah, after she found me knocking three dudes down, then I threw up and had a fucking panic attack.” The younger man sighed, using his free hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. “It was the worse one yet.”

“Oh, Tae.” Seojoon’s voice softened. “Did you manage?”

“More than manage because she was able to help me get back down.” The idol also settled his drink down before meeting his friend’s eyes. “I was still scared, so I didn’t wanna go back home and asked her if I could stay the night.”

Seojoon nodded softly, going into deep thought. “Anything else?”

“I told ___ about my shitty life, literally everything.” Well, almost everything. “If I wanted her to still be in my life, I didn’t want to hide that part, or whole, of me. ”

“How’d she take it?”

“Pretty well, I guess. She opened up to me too.”

“Well, that’s good…” The actor did his best by being supportive, but he was also a worried friend. “Did you tell Clara this? She’s probably worried sick.”

“No,” He scoffed. “Pissed me off with all her calls and text.”

“Taehyung, you know she’s concerned for you. Even if she’s gonna be more in distress when you tell her about your panic attack, she’ll understand.” Seojoon reasoned.

“No, she won’t.” Taehyung disagreed. “Because all she’ll ask was where I was, and if I tell her I was with ___, she’s gonna flip shit. She can’t even handle my panic attacks, so in my head, it’s like what’s the point?”

“Why are you making this difficult?” The older man complained yet it was said in a collected way that Taehyung never deflected on yet.

“Because she’s difficult and will never understand my perspective.” 

“Aren’t couples supposed to have good communication? What’s wrong?”

His relationship never had the greatest communication, he couldn’t lie about that. But for the past year, it has gotten worse despite the somewhat progress Taehyung achieved. Her presence was getting too much for him. It overwhelmed all aspects of his being. He never felt like he had a rest from it. Something always happened and either side, mainly him, got drained.

He needed to get away.

Suddenly Taehyung had an idea, disregarding Seojoon’s question. “Hyung, can I ask you a favor or two?”

-

“So you never bothered to answer my calls, had me anxious, then you fucking come home after disappearing for almost an entire day with no clear explanation, and now you’re telling me this?”

Taehyung’s jaw clenched, pushing down what he wanted to yell as he continued to pack his luggage. “Fine, you want an explanation—I had a panic attack and I didn’t want to be home, so I rested at Seojoon’s house.”

Clara’s anger diminished went she heard those words. She started looking at him pitifully, which Taehyung never wanted from her. “Oh, Ta—”

“Save it.” He interrupted as he finished packing his clothes. “While being away, I realized that I need space.”

“W-what do you mean?”

He breathed out annoyed as he threw back his head to calm himself. “When I have panic attacks, you don’t know how to deal with them or even help me properly. You just fucking leave while I’m over there alone.”

“W-w-well, I want to but you told me to just leave you alone!” Clara tried to defend herself.

“Because saying the words ‘calm down’ and ‘relax’ to a distressed and anxious person is not helpful. Better to be alone than to hear that crap.” Taehyung responded as he left the bedroom to grab his beauty products from the bathroom, but not without Clara following his tail. “Besides the point, I realized something or I’ve been realizing.”

“What?”

“I know I’m not the best communicator, but I’m getting sick and tired of you breathing down my neck. If I don’t even talk to you for like an hour, I get hit with two hundred calls from you. You were never one to be needy. Why now?” His voice was stable and direct like he had practiced. He grabbed his items, then went back to the room.

“That’s a bit of an exaggeration, don’t you think?” Clara scoffed as she walked behind him.

“Well, it feels like it.” He muttered as he put his products into pouches. “I can’t do anything without you watching my every move. I feel like I can’t be me right now, especially in my home.”

“So what then? Is that all that you’re going to say?”

“No, like I said I need space, which is why I need time away from you.” Once he had everything, he zipped up his luggage and pulled it to stand up. “I’m going to stay with Seojoon Hyung for a while. I need this.”

He then remembered something. He rushed to his closet and rummaged through his clothes and shoes before discovering his box filled with old memories. He quickly uncovered the lid and searched through many memorabilia including the pictures of the members and you. Finally, he found what he was looking for—his friendship bracelet.

Old, scruffed, but surprisingly, in pretty good condition where Taehyung puts in on and admired the handmade accessory for a while before he took a couple of childhood pictures of you and him for the road. He sneaked them in his pants pocket, then went back to his baggage.

Meanwhile, Clara was too busy with her feelings and thoughts to even question what Taehyung was doing. “Are you breaking up with me?” She asked in a whisper. “Please don’t. We can make this work. We—”

“No, I didn’t say that. I said I needed space. I wanna be by myself.”

“But you’re with Seojoon Oppa.”

“He has his own things to do, so I won’t even know he’s there,” Taehyung responded as they headed towards the hallway into the living room to get to the front door. “Remember a couple of sessions ago when my therapist told me to try and be alone since I get overwhelmed by the slightest of things?” She nodded. “Well, I want that right now. This is all too much for me. I’m not at my limit, but it’s getting there.”

Clara pursed her mouth. They both knew she didn’t like this one bit. She finally had Taehyung around, enjoying his presence and it was being taken away from her by the same man. But if this needed to happen to make this work, then so be it.

“If that’s what you need, then I’ll give it to you.” The socialite willingly accepted. Of course, either way, Taehyung was still going to do it. “But at least call me while you’re away.”

“Clara…” They reached the front door, now facing each other. One looked desperate while another looked depleted.

“Or at least text me! A simple good morning and a good night is fine too!” She pouted, still wanting a smidge of contact with her boyfriend.

Taehyung exhaled. Now he was taking pity on her, but in this case, she liked it. “Okay, fine. Good morning and good night. No more, no less. I’ll be okay and safe. If anything, call Seojoon if you need more updates.” He patted her head gently, staring blankly.

“I’ll miss you.”

“…Miss you too.”

“I love you, okay?” She tippy-toed to kiss him on the lips before hugging him tightly.

Taehyung reluctantly reciprocated it back, embracing his girlfriend for the last time in a while, “Okay, love you too.”

Tagged: @manuosorioh @kaal-ee @stfxthv @dahliasbouqet @bertqut1 @fuckthinking @taebangtanbabe @tan-veee @calmoistorm @militaryvvife @ellesalazar

i love "glimpse of us" so much 🥺 i read everything and im so excited for the next chapters ♥️ and your writing is so good <3 thank you so much for your beautiful writing ♡

This is how I look rn because you’re sooo very sweet to me 🥹 I’m absolutely delighted that you enjoy glimpse of us. The story became my baby and I was too excited to share it to you all. Please look forward to the next chapters!! I’m not too sure when it’ll be because I’ve honestly been so busy but be patient with me!! 🫶🏼💟🌸

V x Elle Korea

Love your writings! Thank you for sharing them with us 🧡🌻

Awww love your feedback sweet sunflower 🤍 of course, I always love to share my work with you all!! I have so many thoughts I need a release sometimes lol 🌺

What is OC studying at uni?

OC is getting her masters of science in education! I didn’t go too in detail but basically she focuses a lot of a more technical approach on the educational system and the mechanisms. This includes like hands-on experience, building curriculums/lesson plans, strategic planning through education theories and psychology. Tbh this may be too much because it doesn’t really focus on the story. But hey it’s fun!!!!

Question about the GOU universe: why does oc like JK?

This maybe a spoiler so….

OC does NOT like Jungkook. If anything, Jungkook has a crush on OC and she is also aware of it. I mean…he is handsome and sweet but yeah in chapter 8, she does denies him. She knows not to pursue LOL

Please keep in mind jungkook liking her isn’t that important to the story. I just did it for giggles and showing how much oc’s beauty and aura really is captivating (she’s my baby and me)

Thank you for "Glimpse of Us"..... I absolutely adore it! 🩷

Yayyyy I’m so grateful that you love the story 🥹 hope to hear from you in the next chapters 💟

I’ve been making sad content lately and my mood has been like that lately (bc of work lol it’s fine), so I assume it helps but…I need my dumbass characters rn

With that being said, the urge to make a very unhinged fanfic…that’s what happened the last time and please teach me came out of it LOL

If you have any questions or comments (theories??) for stories, characters, or in general (like for me or writing progress lol), don’t be afraid to ask :3 I’ll be sure to try my best to answer and leave you wondering even more LMAO 🫡😎

Glimpse of Us | KTH Chapter IX: Hear Me Out

Pairing: Problematic Idol Taehyung x Grad Student Reader

Genre: Idol AU, Ex-Childhood Best Friends into—, Angst (Hello, welcome to my angst central), Fluff (mainly in the flashbacks), Slow Burn, Eventual Smut

Summary: BTS’s V has been living a lavished and successful lifestyle, but underneath all of that, Kim Taehyung is far from the perfect image the media and fans made him out to be. All he wants is to relive the feelings of happiness and purpose in his life, but how can he when he left behind those memories years ago? The same memories, he hopes to see a glimpse of.

Warning: this was long for no reason lol, LOTS of crying in a one night, mentions of substance use and alcoholism, brief description of therapy, hints of depression and anxiety, the media is the absolute worse, mentions of panic attacks, a very emotional yet soft flashback, brief description of past infidelity (just want to hug oc :c), very brief mention of unexpected pregnancy (don't worry, it's none of them), insecurities on maintaining a relationship, Seojoon is back ayeee, verbal fighting

Word Count: 12.8k

Chapter IX: Hear Me Out || Series Masterlist

Settling down a glass of water and a plate of leftover homemade cookies in front of Taehyung, you both sat at your futon table, sitting across from one another. After you calmed him down, you knew he never wanted to be alone after an episode. You suggested bringing him home, but he refused and told you to not tell anyone what had happened. So ultimately, you brought him to your small apartment.

You still made sure that the unconscious men were still alive, and they all had pulses. The liquid that the first blacked-out men were on top of was soju. They probably would have forgotten what happened, so you escaped the premises holding a partially drunk Taehyung before someone caught you.

He muttered a thank you before drinking the water in one go and taking a cookie to help him sober up. Only the chewing and crunching from Taehyung cracked through the air as vocal silence was somewhat necessary after the events. 

While he did so and stared at the bitten treat, you played with your fingers as you eyed around your apartment. Though he didn’t mind, you were a bit embarrassed showing him where exactly you lived. Everywhere screamed skeptical and empty. You couldn’t help but compare it with his multi-billion won high-security house with a fucking nice backyard.

“Sorry if…uhh, my apartment’s not much.” You didn’t know why you had to apologize for your living situation. It wasn’t your fault.

Looking up from the baked good, he found you and your cheeks fairly pink while doing your habit. He fuddled while lifting a brow. “You don’t need to apologize. If anything, I should be thanking you for bringing me here.”

“But still…you’re not used to this type of lifestyle.” You shrugged awkwardly. “I don’t even have a couch.”

“___, I could care less if we used the floor as a table or you used your hands to scoop the water I’m drinking.”

You nodded, staying quiet. However, you grew more lax with his reassurance, even letting out a sigh of relief. You watched him pop the remnants of sweet before taking another one from the plate. He looked rather functional, but of course, still infused with alcohol. You didn’t really speak after you sang the song together. He merely followed you silently while you said short instructions.

“How are you feeling now?” You asked softly, a tinge of worry dipped into your asking.

He stopped the cookie mid-way from his mouth before closing it. He placed the dessert back down and sighed, “Thank you for saving me back there. Who knows what would have happened to me if you weren’t there.” He pushed the plate away from him. “You didn’t need to though, could have left me to suffer the consequences.”

“Please, no. Taehyung, you were having a panic attack.” You disagreed, couldn’t even imagine not helping. “I couldn’t leave you like that. I would have done that to anyone.”

To anyone…right. The idol hummed, taking in your statement. “Guess you helped me escape from the law, my lovely accomplice.” He quipped with a smirk. You rolled your eyes before a small grin crept on your face. “You should know you’re still one of the only people who knows how to calm me down like that.”

Your lips faltered in confusion. “Who’re the others?”

“My mom, grandma before, and Jimin.” He replied. “I forgot about the song. It’s the most effective for me.”

You smiled, recalling the first time you used it. It was hours before the middle school talent show. The only reason why you did it was to distract him. He needed to focus on his mind away from his rough breathing. It was on a whim, but it worked great and now the song always calmed him down whether he went through an episode or not.

His list was expected as they were the most important people in his life. However, it was shocking that a specific person you thought of wasn’t on the list. “Not even Clara?”

Taehyung snorted as if you said a joke, “Please she doesn’t know anything about calming someone down. All she cares about is her image.”

Well, that was completely out of nowhere, baffled by his reveal. He spoke on it so casually, yet it was like a blow to his relationship. You couldn’t help but be curious as to why he might have said that, but you chose not to ask as it was the least of your worries right now.

Ignoring his comment, you decided to ask other questions that came to mind while you were on the bus ride home. “Before tonight, when was the last time you went through an episode?”

Tilting his head to the side, he stared at the wall across as he went through the folders of his memories. “Like a full episode, probably last year. Short breaths from time to time, but nothing too serious like tonight.”

“Taehyung…” You frowned, scooting closer to him. You kept your palms on your thighs when you kept your stare on him. His expression remained blunt, almost as if these mini-episodes weren’t at all concerning.

“No worries, ___. They weren’t big. When they happen, the breathing exercises help.”

“Could I ask what caused your last one? Wait, how’d you get into that situation?” Some things weren’t adding up. You were getting more and more perplexed.

He paused for a moment, gazing into your irises. You kept a worried demeanor as you waited patiently. The warm light of your floor lamp in the corner shined onto a side of you, cascading soft shadows of your side profile on the wooden ground.

“If I tell you, then I’d have to tell you things that I’m not proud of.” He explained softly, almost frightened that you’d want nothing to do with him. “You might hate who I’ve become.” His eyes filled with sorrow as he could feel the tears welling up again.

You sucked in your lips as you contemplated a move. Before you even made a choice, you crawled next to him before making yourself comfortable and sat, feeling the warmth he radiated. You looked up at his puzzled face. Before he could question, you motioned him to come and patted his lap.

Though stunned at your forward behavior, his eyes softened. You smiled tenderly and nodded, indicating it was okay. You did your motions once more before he placed his head on your lap, laying his body on the ground. Once his head settled, your appendages caressed through his ebony tendrils to soothe him, repeating the action over and over again.

“Taehyung, I could never hate you.” Your voice was so delicate, but held the heaviest meanings that Taehyung heard in a long time. “Though I don’t know what’s going on with you, please know that your resilience grows every day, more than yesterday, less than tomorrow. You’ll get through it.” You nodded to yourself, deep into thought. “You overcame so many things; bike riding, lighting, stage fright, endless training, close to disbanding. You’ve become successful and loved by many, Taehyung. You reached your goals! I would assume you’d be happier.” You sounded so positive, like how you were when you were younger, his little hope. But the familiar light only shattered him, becoming overshadowed by his intrusive thoughts. Only he knew it wasn’t all true. 

With shaking lips, a cry escaped from his mouth not realizing that he was holding it in. You whispered caring nothings while you brushed your fingers into his scalp. His body pumping as his shoulders trembled as the sobs continued to fall. 

It was at that moment he realized that you were probably gonna find out the side of him he has been trying to hide from you. The side that grew when you were gone in his life, the tragic shit of his life. He didn’t want to tell you, but he knew he could never lie to you. He trusted you.

He will always trust you.

“You say I’m resilient when I’m not.” He began with denial oozing at the words “You may think that my life has been nothing but glamorous with expensive name brands, International celebrity connections, and being loved by millions, from all my “success”. That my happiness is from all of that.” He chuckled, yet there was no humor in his tone. He bit his lips, quietly attempting to stop his sorrows. “But it’s not, ___.” He stabilized his breathing, feeling pressure in his chest. “I haven’t been happy for a while, and…and I don’t know what happened. I don’t know at all.”

He turned his head up so that he saw your face. Your arm hooked around the side of his face, your forearm feeling against his supple yet worn-down cheeks. Your digits were still attached to his hair. Your eyes were crystal clear, shining at him with the worrisome expression you’d been carrying since he saw you tonight. Yet you were getting confused, “What do you mean?”

The waves of sadness, the trickling of despair in his voice, and the tiredness against the hallows of his eyes and cheeks remained evident in the idol as he revealed what he has been dealing with for the years apart. His increasing anxiety and depression, therapy, the band, the scandals and cover-ups, and hurting numbness to his feelings ultimately resulted in his battle with substances and alcoholism.

Though he mentioned the overcoming of drugs and being clean for a year, the feigned chuckle in his voice indicated no other improvement to all the other shit happening to him. He still felt ashamed of what had become of him. V of BTS, Kim Taehyung, your Taehyung, your Hyungie grew up in a reckless brain of disappointment behind all that fame, fortune, and success. The continuous pressure of being this inhumane super idol representative of his national country in the public eye when really he was a human man struggling to find himself and the joy that was once in his life.

Even instances where he almost ran into mayhem from his behavior. If his members, mainly Jimin and Jungkook, or his friends didn’t find him on time, the paparazzi would have arrived to mess up his reputation and possibly his life.

Through the pain seeping out his voice and the straining tears on his face, you could tell how much it was affecting him, giving a hard time to even say it out loud. You knew he hid something, but it was nothing that you expected. Yet you knew how much he feared, how much it hurt him, having the control of his life being taken away by something he loved doing. 

You kept silent, listening to his speaking while patting his hair. Your pants were soaked by his tears. At times, he had to pause for a moment to let out longer sobs when the feeling got too much. Once it seemed his story met the end, he sat up from your lap to stare into your eyes with his dull ones. “All this love and support, yet I still feel fucking empty!” He raised his voice out of nowhere, making you flinch. Noticing, he apologized quietly through his pupils. He spoke softly this time, “It’s all too much to handle, and adding onto everyone fucking keeping their eyes on me like I’m some zoo animal or puppet to attend to their needs. I just hate it.”

Stillness met around you much longer than anticipated because honestly, you didn’t know what to say to him. You didn’t want to say something he might not want to hear. He might have heard it before and it probably didn’t work. When in doubt, sometimes silence and listening would be the best thing to do.

“___?” He called your name out so timidly. You slightly nodded, telling him you were still here with him. “You think I’m a piece of shit, right?”

You furrowed your eyebrows at his accusation. “What? No, I don’t.”

“You’re lying.”

“Taehyung, I may have been harsh to you but I would never think of you like that.”

“Why not? There’s obviously something wrong with me.” He countered, not truly believing you. “All this shit is because of me.”

“No, nothing is wrong with you.” You fought back, shaking your head. “Things happened to you, Taehyung. You’re not what those events are.”

The idol kept his sodden eyes on you, hardening by the second. However, you too had your pupils focused on him, almost as if you were fighting to win yet your stare was much more gentle and empathetic. With that, it made him believe the authenticity of the words you were saying.

He softened his look and sniffed as he looked away to gaze over at your corner lamp. “You’re the only person who isn’t blaming me for my mess.” Turning his head back to you, he sighed “Whatever I do, I just feel like shit and get blamed. I feel lost and so tired of everything.”

“It’s okay to feel lost. You should give grace to yourself. I mean, you have been in the spotlight since you were young, so the pace is slower, unfortunately.”

“But how long am I gonna be like this?” He groaned in agony. Tears are physically drained out of him, but the redness pierced through his skin. “It’s been years!”

You thinned your lips and nodded, acknowledging his grief. “You should know I can’t answer that.” Though your answer wasn’t the best, it didn’t seem like he was bothered by it at all. “I know I’ll never be in your shoes and I will never know what’s going on in your head, but I do know how strong you are, Taehyung. You’ve always been, for yourself and others.” He remained quiet. But the dimming within the dark hues of his irises suddenly sparkled faintly.  “It sucks and frustrating, and all these annoying shits because people don’t always understand you. You’re kinda hard to crack at times. Maybe that’s why it’s taking longer than usual. But those who truly know the lengths you have to take to overcome this. They will help you understand what you need to bring the goodness and happiness out of you.”

“Will I ever be happy, ___?” He spoke ever so timidly like he desperately needed an answer. 

You leaned back, resting your palms on the hard wooden floor. “They always say good things will happen especially when you least expect it. It’ll come when the time is right.”

But you’re here now and you were the best thing that ever happened to me.

Taehyung had an exhaustive look within his gloom, taking in your words. It was true, not many people understood him especially personally. Even if they did, they’d argue his logic like he was wrong for that. So at that moment, he remembered how much you were the one true person that made him be seen. Exposed and vulnerable. You saw the real Kim Taehyung.

With that, you weren’t expecting the idol to crawl towards your form to wrap his long arms around you as he rested his head in the crook of your neck. His nose gently grazed your skin, letting you inhale sharply. Luckily, he was too deep into his thoughts so you placed your palm on his back before fully reciprocating back.

“Thank you.” The vibration of his voice moved through your goosebumps. “Thank you for your words, for saving me, for everything since you came back. Thank you for being here again, Blue.”

A subtle smile ghosted on your lips at the sound of the nickname, letting him get away with it only this time. “You don’t need to thank me. I’ll be honest when I say I hate it at times, but I’ll be on your side no matter what.”

“Really? Even when I fuck up? Or when the members are mad at me?”

“Well, yeah.” He parted away to look into your eyes. “I’ve known you longer than those around us. It’s your word against theirs; I would believe you than them.”

The way you explained yourself had Taehyung’s heart skipping in a fluttering rapid manner. You spoke so honestly, it said it all on your face too. The gentleness and reassurance he knew and loved.

“Of course, it doesn’t mean I agree with you. I’ll tell your shit with the back of my hand.” Though your words were hard, you continued that tendering tone with an empathetic smile that would make all living entities’ hearts melt. But the contrast made the idol let out a deep chuckle, shaking his head while you weren’t fazed at all. “I’m only being honest.”

“As you are,” Taehyung confirmed before biting his lip. He knew how late it was, but still rejected the thought of going back to his house…with Clara if she was back. He didn’t want the members or his friends to get roped into this because that would require him to explain what happened tonight. “Do you think I could sleep over here?”

You looked taken aback at his question, cocking your brow up. “Tonight? Here?” You asked, then he nodded confidently. “A-are you sure?”

“Please? After what happened…I don’t want anyone else to know and bug me.”

“But…” You had mixed feelings about his request. Sure, you had tons of sleepovers in the past but it was in the past. There were certain things to consider with your decision, and most of it had to do with your boundaries and your hesitancy despite your now willingness to fully accept him.

“Please?” He asked again, with so much vulnerability leaking out of that single word.

But after these recent events and the fact he revealed the darkness of his life update to you, all you wanted was for him to feel safe.

“Do you wanna shower too? I have a spare towel, but I need to dig for larger-sized clothes.” You got up from the floor and started heading down the hallway to your room. “I think I brought some of my grandfather’s pajamas by mistake.” Your voice echoed through your apartment.

Though you didn’t explicitly say yes, Taehyung knew the answer, making him grin like an idiot as he watched your form disappear into the hall. He then crawled up to follow you. It took him a couple of seconds to see where your bedroom was located as it was the only door that was wide open with the lights on.

Once he entered, he noticed that the only furniture there was a neatly made blue-sheeted bed and oak dresser. The surface of the dresser was filled with books, a jewelry box, empty cans of Coca-Cola, and various miscellaneous items.

You were living a very minimalist life, he thought. When the two of you were younger, you always decorated your room. You had a multitude of plush toys on your bed given by your grandparents, his parents, other neighbors, and him too. You liked to plaster pictures of family, him, and art, and posters of your favorite artists on your wall, and displayed your rock collection that remained in one corner of your room.

Nothing in this room screamed “you.” It felt very temporary like you weren’t belonging to this place.

Taehyung then turned away from looking to spot you digging through your closet. He heard you let out an “umph” before you sat back on the floor with a red sweater and a matching-colored pair of plaid pants.

“I was right! I did bring a box of his clothes on accident!” You smiled when you looked up at the idol standing. “They were supposed to be donations, but I grabbed them by mistake and just kept them.” You raised the clothes to him. 

The idol gladly took them into his hands and grinned. “You know your grandfather is a very tall man. I don’t know if I could even fit his clothes.”

“Nonsense, I think you’re as tall as him now. I mean it has been some time.” You got up from the floor and let out a sigh.

“How is he anyways? How has he been since your grandmother passed?”

They were harmless questions that Taehyung asked as simple curiosity and wanting to know how your family was doing. But those very questions made your smile drop into a sorrowful frown.

Taehyung stared at you questionably at the shift in your mood. It seemed like your brain was gearing up, trying to process what he said. He didn’t think it was anything bad but with the slight thinning of your lips with your nostrils flaring, he felt like he said something wrong.

But before he could even defend himself, you nodded casually as you put back a small grin. “Oh yeah, he’s fine. Same strong, gentle old man. Just been busy with the farm and everything. Just thinking about him working in his old age frustrates me, you know?” You were rambling, and it happens because of three things: you got nervous, angry, or you were hiding something.

Taehyung immediately knew the choices but didn’t speak further. It has been a rough night for him and probably for you now, so he didn’t want to add more stress. “He should retire soon, or pass the farm to you or someone else.”

“Yeah…” You sighed, already wanting to change the subject. “You should go shower. Towels inside the hallway closet and I have a spare toothbrush under the bathroom sink.”

The idol nodded, “Maybe, you should go first. It’s late, and a school night. You also have longer hair than me, so it’d take longer to dry.”

Completely forgetting that tomorrow you had a morning class, you mentally cursed yourself. It was close to one in the morning, and usually around this time, you’d still study but you didn’t have the mental capacity right now. You were exhausted and needed to get as much sleep as possible.

“Are you sure?” You asked.

“Of course, Blue. I don’t mind, you’re literally housing me.” He patted your head as you stared up at him.

Your eyebrows pinched before you formed a pout. “I told you to stop calling me Blue.”

“It’s a force of habit.” He shrugged before squeezing your cheek. “Do you know how hard it is for me to call you by your name?”

“It’s not as hard, you know. A normal person calls me by my name.”

“I don’t give a fuck if I’m not normal or not. Blue will forever be your name for me.”

Though you’d normally get angry or show some type of anger, you were forcing yourself to suppress a smile at what he said. A smile that he noticed, so he didn’t take it as seriously.

“Whatever, Taehyung.” You shook your head before gathering up your clothes to shower and change.

“That’s not my name for you.” He denied.

“I’m not saying it. I don’t want to.”

“Why not?” Now he was acting a bit playful, which you didn’t mind. “It’s Blue and Hyungie! Not ___ and Taehyung!”

“You can’t be serious. We had those nicknames when we were kids. We’re nearly in our thirties!”

“Does it look like I care if we’re almost thirty?” The idol reasoned once more. “You being Blue means so much to me. You, of all people, should know how much you mean to me.” He spoke gently when he explained himself, almost sensitive to this topic.

You didn’t know how to respond at that. Though you knew how much you cared about him, you didn’t know how much it was reciprocated back. You had partially low expectations now on how much importance you were towards Taehyung’s life.

So you honestly said, “No, I’m not sure about now…”

The devastation wasn’t enough to describe his expression. A bit of concern, a lot of worry, maybe even frustration. Whatever emotion there was, Taehyung felt worse, realizing the immense strain between you and him. You didn’t trust him, you didn’t know how much he cared and meant to you, it was almost as if every memory made was completely garbage to say the least. At least that was what he thought.

Before he could even say a sound, you quickly changed the subject. “I’m gonna go shower. Just make yourself comfortable.” You said in a rush as you collected some clothes and your towel hanging on the door knob.

Taehyung stood there dumbfounded and exhausted. There was too much to think about and all he wanted to do was not think. He just got to you, he shouldn’t be greedy with this. 

-

While you showered, there wasn’t much for Taehyung to do. You lived in a rather infinite yet empty apartment. He roamed around your place about five times, so he was sure he saw everything you owned here.

Well, almost everything.

He was back in your room, eyes scanning the dresser. Items were still in the same position as he first saw them, but now he had more scrutiny, specifically for your jewelry box. It caught his eyes the most; it was worn down, graphics and patterns faded over time, yet still managed to keep its shape.

He soon realized it was the one his family gave you during a Christmas of your childhood.

The campfire that Taehyung’s father, Jitae, made blazed brightly outside in the back of their house. You, your grandparents, and his family surrounded the fire, taking in the warmth while being covered in jackets and snuggled in thick blankets provided by his mother.

While his siblings, with the help of his grandmother and father, were making s’mores and roasted marshmallows, you and Taehyung shared a blanket and sat in a large woven chair as he wrapped his skinny limbs around you for extra warmth and comfort. It was a relaxing Christmas Eve, and both families wanted to celebrate together because the more, the merrier. The bond was always strong between each other so it was only fair to do so with one another.

“Would you kids like to open one present before Christmas?” Taehyung’s mom, Miseon, asked with a smile. She already had two gifts while your grandmother had the other two.

The obvious answer was saying yes with immense joy in our tones. So when the two women distributed the presents, greedy hands from the Kim siblings snatched them right away. You, on the other hand, looked at his mom curiously when she gave you one. 

“___, this is from us to you,” Miseon informed. “Gifts are never enough to show how much we truly love and care for you, dear. You’ve always been a great blessing to us.”

“HEY!” Sungyeon, the youngest of three, pouted. “That’s not fair!”

“Sungie, don’t be selfish.” Their mom scolded gently but her face showed all the strictness, which ultimately shut him up, and continued opening his toy. Then looked back at you with a more calmer and happier expression. “We hope you like it.”

Smiling, you proceeded to unbox your present. Unlike the others, the way you opened gifts was done in a very neat way. Peeling off the tapes on the sides, carefully slicing the wrapping paper, and sliding it off with precision.

Meanwhile, Taehyung shredded the paper.

You opened the lid which ultimately made you confused. You took it out and observed the outside of it. It was another box, yes, but it was light blue with gold accents around the surface, edges were also gold but felt like metal. The edges were sharp and crisped. Some of the gold engraved your initials on the top of the lid. It even smelled nice too.

You found the opening latch, which also had the option to put an additional lock on it. When you unlocked it, the top popped open surprising you in the process. Nevertheless, you were in awe. There were what appeared to be velvet containers and organizers within the box with a fairly decent mirror. But the thing that made you fall in love was the small ballerina pirouetting slowly as a toy box jingle of Swan Lake played.

“It’s a jewelry box,” Miseon explained to your confused ten-year-old self. “You can put your necklaces, rings, and bracelets in here for safekeeping. I know there’s that necklace your parents gave you and the bracelets you’ve been making.” You nodded as you unconsciously grabbed onto the flower pendant you still used and never took off. “You can put them in here, or any sentimental items you have.”

“Thank you, auntie! I love it.” You cheesed at the box. Anything they gave you, you always took it with pride and honor. Your grandparents watched with smiles as you touched and caressed your jewelry box. Taehyung even stopped to look at you and admire your gift, his present in his lap was long forgotten.

“You know ___, remember you can also call me mom.” Miseon reminded you. A while back, his parents asked permission from your grandparents if it was okay. Because you lost your parents at such a young age and the way you seamlessly meshed into their family, they both wanted to be there to support and love you as their own. Your grandparents were fine with it, knowing the trust that has been built through the years but it was only the matter if you’d accepted them.

“And call me dad.” Jitae chimed in as he sat on the edge next to you. You pursed your lips before nodding quietly, still not giving them a clear answer to their offer.

 “Why do you want ___ to call you that?” Sungyeon asked with a hit of jealousy. “You’re our mom and dad, not hers!”

Then Eunjeong slapped the back of her younger brother’s head, making him wince in pain. “You dummy, don’t be mean! ___ doesn’t have parents, that’s why!” She meant well, but all the adults and Taehyung gasped, knowing how sensitive you were about the mentioning of your parents.

Taehyung slithered his arms around you before pulling you back into his body before you could even react, “Both of you, be quiet! I told you not to talk about that! Blue is sensitive, you know!”

“Now children, calm down.” Your grandmother stepped in, wanting to ease the tension between the angered eldest and the now frightened younger two. “Be careful with your words because they can hurt others. ___ does have parents, they’re just not here anymore. She knows that. And second—”

“It’s okay, grandma.” You interrupted your grandmother, making everyone crane their heads at you. You finally spoke after being silent, feeling it was right to do so. “Yeah, I know my parents are gone…I still miss them.”

“Blue, it’s okay. Cry it out.” Taehyung cooed, tightening his grip on you but his coddling made you laugh and shake your head before parting away from him.

“Hyungie, I’m not sad about it as much.” You reassured. “Besides, I have a family here!” You opened your arms, showcasing to those around you. “I have my grandparents…siblings…a best friend…” You turned to face his parents, showing all the love you had for them in your eyes. “Parents?” You said it so softly but it was enough for both of his parents to have tears in their eyes.

You got up from the chair to stand in front of Miseon and looked up at her. “I have a mom, but…you can also be my mom too.” You craned your head over to Jitae. “And you can also be my dad too!”

Your reveal made his parents rush to hug you with a strong yet welcoming embrace. You were squished between the two but felt the love they emitted.

Though you barely had time with your actual parents, you still held and thought of them very highly. You remembered what they did with you, how much love they had for you, and giving you what you wanted and needed. But the memories were fading as you grew older, the distance between them and you, their faces were only shown in pictures. It was harder since they weren’t physically here anymore.

You were finally willing to bring them in, willing for them to be part of your life from now on.

Sungyeon was about to protest but Eunjeong nudged him to be quiet to not ruin the beautiful moment. 

Taehyung smiled at the innocent memory. You were always well loved by his family, his parents treating you as if you were their child and even taking care of you when your grandparents were busy. In some ways, his parents wanted you to be part of the Kim family.

His siblings seemed to love you more than they did with him, which never bothered Taehyung at all since he got to see that bright smile on your face.

Even after the falling, his parents or siblings would mention you from time to time, wondering if you were ever okay and doing well for yourself. They tried their best to contact you, but it seemed that you were incognito and keeping your distance. It hurt both ends, but at least they wanted the best for one another. You were also a memory for them since it’s been years since they last saw you or your grandparents.

Mindlessly, Taehyung opened the box which revealed pouches of earrings and necklaces and a row of rings. You know the typical items inside a jewelry box.

However, what caught his eye was a handmade craft he didn’t think he’d ever see again. 

It was your friendship bracelet, also worn down, whithering over time, yet still intact. Despite a few chips, scratches, bumps, and a little piece of your initial charm missing, everything was there! He couldn’t believe that you still kept yours all this time. He never thought about you keeping yours, he assumed it was gone forever. But this was incredible for him.

Especially knowing that he too kept his.

It was kept in a box filled with childhood memorabilia inside his closet including the pictures of you and him through the years. Gifts, notes, letters, everything that he could bring to Seoul. During his training days, while everyone was asleep, he would read them late at night when he felt himself missing you.

Which was every day.

But after your friendship was over, Taehyung hid all those physical memories from everyone including himself. Though feeling so guilty and ashamed of his explosive younger self, he knew deep down he didn’t have the heart to throw away the box of you. Just the thought of it was a complete absurdity. He refused to erase anything of you.

Even now.

He had a sudden urge to open the box immediately once he gets home, without Clara of course. If she didn’t know shit about you, then she definitely won’t know about that box.

-

After washing up and getting ready for bed, the two of you were in pajamas. Taehyung sat on your bed, scrolling away on his phone. You went back to your closet, retrieving some thicker blankets. He heard ruffling before looking up to watch you retrieve one of the pillows on your mattress. You didn’t think much about giving up your bed for him, so you were getting ready to leave the bedroom before he stopped you.

“What are you doing?” He questioned, getting off of the bed to stand.

You stopped your track, giving him a confusing expression. “What?”

“Where are you going with that?” He worryingly nodded toward what you were carrying.

“Uhh, going to the living to make my bed?”

“Wha—___! Don’t do that.”

“Why not? I need to sleep somewhere.” You weren’t affected by this decision, but Taehyung begged to differ.

“Yeah, that’s why there’s your bed right here.” He said matter-of-a-factly.

“You’re the guest, Taehyung. You need to be comfortable.”

“I don’t feel comfortable with you sleeping outside of the bedroom.” He reasoned softly. “No offense, ___, but your living room looks lonely…”

You snorted, “I think you’ve mistaken lonely for poor.”

“That’s not what I meant!”

“I’m teasing, Taehyung.” You rolled your eyes as you reassured him but he continued to look stooped and pouty. You decided to leave him be to walk your way to the living room. But before you can do so, Taehyung jogged up to you and took the blankets out of your hands. “It’s fine, I got th—wait, you’re going the wrong way!”

Carrying the fabrics, he settled them down on the bed. You followed behind and tried to get them back but he lightly pushed your face away. You were taken aback as you glared at him, having the urge to kick his shin but you held back.

“Don’t sleep in the living room. Stay here, I’ll sleep out there.”

“See, that’s where you’re wrong. I’m gonna say no.” You ruthlessly shut him down.

“___!”

“No, Taehyung, you’re not sleeping out there. It’s rude for me to give you the floor, especially after your panic attack. I need you to feel cozy and secure.” You explained. “Do you still have trouble sleeping at night after an episode?”

“Y-yeah, but—”

“Exactly, so just take the bed. It’s already late, and I have class tomorrow. I don’t want to argue.”

Taehyung bit down on his lips, wanting to counter back. But he knew you were right. He always had trouble sleeping after his panic attacks. Even his doctor told him he needed to be as comfortable and relaxed as possible.

But the last time he felt that away after an episode was sleeping with Jimin, and the last other person to do that for him was you. And with you, it’s different.

“Fine, I’ll take the bed.” He ultimately gave in, which satisfied you. But then he said, “But if I need to be comfortable, then I don’t want you to stay in the living room. I’ll feel unsettled knowing you’re out there.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, “Why?”

“I just am! I feel bad too, you’re uncomfortable in your apartment.”

“I’m not, I actually sleep on the floor from time to time, intentionally and unintentionally because I pass out after studying.” You simply said, but you don’t seem to get his point.

“Don’t sleep in the living room then.” He pressed onto you.

“Then where am I going to sleep? The bathroom?”

“Here.”

“What do you mean here?” You further inquired, wary of what he meant.

“I mean here.” He pointed down, motioning to the room. “You can sleep on the bed with me too…” Your eyes bulged out of the sockets, making him realize what he said. “Come on, I didn’t mean it like that! Just sleep! Just sleep.”

“Taehyung…”

“You don’t need to sleep on the bed, it was just a suggestion. I swear! Want you to be comfortable too.” He defended himself. “If not, at least sleep here on the floor.”

“Do you think that I would be comfortable sleeping here? What if I’m not? Even after you said that.”

Taehyung’s mouth opened then closed, struggling to gather his words. He didn’t think about that, and now he felt like an asshole wanting what he said. “D-do you feel uncomfortable at what I said? I’m sorry, it wasn’t my intention. Really, I—Good night then. Sorry again.”

“Don’t be sorry, Taehyung. I get what you mean, and I’m not uncomfortable.” You promised, lightly smiling. “I don’t mind but I didn’t want to suggest it.”

“How come?”

“Are you really going to ask me that?” You rolled your eyes, thinking he wasn’t being serious. But when he stared curiously at you, he didn’t understand what you meant.

Today was too long for you. However, though you were exhausted, your mind was wide awake, recapturing all that had happened in the past twenty-four hours. That also included what went through your head while you were away from him.

You didn’t want to have this conversation yet, but maybe this will make him understand how you feel and your boundaries. That way you’d feel a little lighter and not have to worry about it from now on. “Taehyung.”

“Hmm.”

You wanted to be direct, and as clear as possible. “Were you really trying to kiss me?” More forward than that. “Actually, scratch that. Why were you going to kiss me?”

Okay, he didn’t expect that to come out of your mouth, especially now. Yet he knew exactly what you were talking about. The question now was what was he going to say? How was he going to respond?

He thought long and hard as you anticipated his answer. “Uhh, I don’t know.”

You blinked, “you don’t know?”

“I…I don’t know, ___, or at least I don’t know how to put it into words.” He shook his head at himself, gathering his feelings. “I guess I was… at the moment? Look, ___, being with you always made me feel right. It reminded me of how we were. I’d hold you, kiss your forehead, temple, cheek, anywhere really.”

“So you were wanting to be like old times?” You wondered, still puzzled.

“Kinda? Well, now you know the shit I’m in, so hanging out with you felt like going back in time when nothing was like this. I felt so alive, and safe. Like I wasn’t V, but Kim Taehyung.”

That still didn’t answer your question, especially when you wanted to say that he was going for your lips than your cheek or head. It didn’t matter as much right now because he said something else that sparked your interest. “Our past was innocent and young, we didn’t know anything! That’s why it was like that and unfortunately, Taehyung, we’re older. Our younger selves would have never known what was happening with us and between us. We can’t sink into the sand of our memories. That’s how people aren’t able to move on.”

“I know, but all I want is to feel happy again and the only times I truly felt it was when I was younger.” He sounded like he was begging, but you didn’t know to who.

“How do you suppose to do that then? You can’t go back in time and relive your prepubescent self.”

He chuckled lowly, “I can’t go back, but I can make new memories. Hopefully, they’re happier and less traumatizing.” 

“I do want you to have that too. Don’t think about happy memories, focus on happy experiences in the present.”

“Maybe, especially when you’re back.” He shrugged.

“Don’t say stuff like that.” You sighed, not wanting to hear that.

“I know, but knowing how you were in my past when I was enjoying life, helps to hope for those “joyful” experiences.”

You mumbled incoherent sounds before grabbing the blankets to prepare your makeshift futon next to the bed. Slumber was slowly getting to you and you wanted to mentally cry at the time—close to three in the morning and you had to wake up at six to get ready for your 8 AM class, then work. Yup, the day was nearing. Should you skip it? No, that would be a waste on your loans.

As you mentally prepared yourself for the morning, Taehyung got into the covers and cuddled with the single pillow he had for the night. His head could sleep without it.

He watched you place the layers of blankets down on the floor. As he did so, he recapped what you both discussed earlier. Now it was his turn to ask some questions, but he forgot to do something first.

“I’m sorry, ___.”

You finished the last layer before you turned, spotting him laying on his side holding a pillow. He too had the face of defeat, but yet he continued when you kept your silence.

“I’m sorry that I tried to kiss you. It wasn’t my intention to, I don’t know what came over me. Nonetheless, it still happened and it got you angry.” He explained, cautiously and neatly. “I also want you to know how much I value you and our relationship. I never want to hurt you. Even get you angry, but that always happens.” You nodded calmly, taking it all in. “I still want your friendship. I’ll do what it takes. Please don’t give up on us like that. I’m stupid, but I’ve been like that and I’m trying.”

Taehyung waited fearfully for your response. You appeared composed and unaffected, but that was probably because you were so tired to feel any rigorous emotions right now. You just wanted to go to bed, but you knew you needed to say something.

You closed your eyes and exhaled before peeling them open, “Taehyung…if I say yes, there need to be boundaries.” You finally replied.

His face scrunched at your request. “Like what? We’ve never had something like that before.”

“Well, it’s now. Don’t think about the past right now.” You shook your head. “We’re older, so there should be respectful walls between us.”

Taehyung nodded slowly, understanding your needs. “I’ll be respectful. I’m sorry again for trying to do that.”

“As long as it never happens again, and besides you have Clara, remember?” You mentioned, putting a distasteful expression on him. “You don’t wanna ruin your relationship over someone like me. Don’t wanna follow that same route again.”

Your words piqued his interest, “Again? What do you mean again?”

Fuck, you slipped that out so casually, exposing yourself in front of him like that. “Huh, oh, nothing. I…yeah, nothing.”

“___, it doesn’t sound like nothing,” Taehyung said, maneuvering himself to get a good look at you. He rested his elbows on the mattress, cupping his cheeks. He observed your avoidance, eyes roaming everywhere else instead of him. “___, what happened?” He had to think again. “If you’re uncomfortable, you don’t need to tell me. I’m sorry if I’m overstepping.”

You sighed, shaking your head. You finally gazed at him, his stare so attentive towards you. “You’re not overstepping…it’s just…I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Try your best. Say it ugly if you have to.”

“When you tried to kiss me or something, I got triggered.” You tried to find the words, biting your lips as you thought about how to approach this. “I was…scarred in the past.”

Furrowing his eyebrows together, Taehyung questioned. “What do you mean? What happened? Were you okay?”

“It’s done and over, but it still makes me unsettled.” You explained. Taehyung waited patiently for you to continue. Though he stared in silence, his aura encouraged you to be vulnerable in front of him…like the old times when he made you feel safe and sound as you used to tell him everything.

Well, not everything.

“It was back in undergrad, but uhhh, when I was a freshman, I dated an upperclassman.” You exposed yourself. This was something you hated thinking and talking about, but it was also something that needed to be clear and said, especially to Taehyung.

You dated someone?? That surprised him. Not saying he never expected you to date, it just surprised him that you actually dated someone. He had so many questions—who was he? What did he look like? What was he like? Did he ever savor your glory? Did he ever laugh the way he did? Was he ever part of your story, one that Taehyung gave up on long ago? Did he fill in his part?

Then again, you said you were scarred, so that fueled some fire within him, getting irrationally upset about this unknown dude. 

But he stopped himself and asked, “Wait, you did?”

You nodded calmly as opposed to his shocked yet steady demeanor. “He was a TA for a class. I asked for help, and it happened. He was sweet, nice to me, and brought me flowers a couple of times. Guess you can say he was my first boyfriend, well, a lot of my firsts…”

Taehyung frowned, his mouth curling down deeply. There were visions in his head he wanted to push away. “So what happened?”

“What he didn’t tell me was that he had a girlfriend.”

“Wait, so he cheated on you?!”

“No, he cheated on her with me.” You said flatly, but your heart squeezed from the visceral memory. You breathed in and out carefully, hoping you weren’t going to cry over something stupid years ago. You shouldn’t cry over that man. “I was the other woman, yet I did not know of it for like almost an entire year. No one even told me, so who knows if others knew this whole time.” Your fists clenched as you pulled your legs to your chest. “Eventually, she and I found out but she put all the blame on me and spread a rumor around campus that I was a home wrecker. They broke up, but I guess my reputation got destroyed. Or even worsen? I didn’t have any true friends even before that. Civil roommates, but that was it. Everyone knew me as the home wrecker so…”

You were also tired of crying about that horrific past, yet it still haunted you. When it happened, it felt like everything was your fault. What was worse was that you had no support system anymore. Everything you did, through college and other hardships, you felt incredibly alone and lonely. Those years truly felt the lowest for you.

The tears escaped without your permission, but you didn’t bother wiping them away because if you did, you’d acknowledge you were crying. But Taehyung wasn’t going to lay there and do nothing, so he scooted off the bed and sat next to your makeshift futon. He pulled you into him as you sniffled and the streams continued down your cheeks, also staining his shirt. He rubbed your back and wiped the tears for you.

“Taehyung, I promise this isn’t meant to guilt you but I wished you were still there for me.” Your lips quivered, breaking both of your hearts at your sad confession. “Everyone hated me. It was so hard without my best friend.”

Yet Taehyung felt the guilt eating him alive. He left you alone, with no one by your side to protect you. He wished he could cry because seeing you in this state would leave him sobbing like a baby, but it seemed the tears and overwhelming events restrained him from doing so. He hated seeing his Blue sad.

“I’m so sorry again. I still feel like shit about what happened.” He said, holding you tighter in his arms.

“It’s whatever already.” You sniffed, letting it go as it was the least of your concerns at this point. You quietly apologized for ruining his sleepwear, but he didn’t care. “It did hurt, but I’m sure you had your reasons.”

He did have his reasons, but it wasn’t the time to say so he nodded. “That’s horrible though, what you experienced. I’m sorry you had to go through with that.”

“I was a stupid teenager who didn’t know any better,” You reasoned. “I think I was too focused on the fact that someone actually liked and wanted to be with me. It was like a miracle.” You lightly joked at the end, but Taehyung took it seriously.

“Why’d you say that?”

“Taehyung, I wasn’t necessarily a catch, even back in Geochang.” You told him. “I mean my first kiss was even made into a joke. In general, I never had someone who truly loved me in that sense.” He stayed silent as he looked at your reddened face. You didn’t bother to notice his expression directed at you, as you went on. “When I was with him, it felt exciting at first. Only now I realized how much I kept saying yes to him because I thought he loved me and I didn’t want to make him upset.”

“Why?”

Your teary eyes met his hardened ones before you simply answered, “If I made him upset, then he’d leave me.”

The air grew slightly thick from your response. It was unintentional, yet intentional. You’ve said so much, yet so little. Taehyung realized now that there was much more you haven’t spoken about the in-between gap. While he spoke up, you chose to stay silent. Yet everything that has happened without him, like this experience, made a clear effect on you, and somehow also bit him in the ass.

He wanted to stir the conversation slightly, otherwise, the night will become light in no time. “You were still in Geochang, right?” You nodded tiredly. “Who was this fucking son of a bitch? Do you remember his name?”

“Kim Minjae.”

“Wait, I know that fucker. We were on the same soccer team. I’m gonna find him and bea—”

His response made you chuckle softly, patting his head in delight. Your smile eased his temper, despite biting his tongue. “Taehyung, it’s okay. You don’t need to do that because he got a teacher pregnant and is now working as a fisherman to pay his child support. I think he knows what he’s done.” The universe was on your side this time. You also remembered being flabbergasted but lowkey satisfied when that drama spread from the college to the entire town of Geochang. It was not pretty at all, but it got your name out of everyone’s mouth.

“Still, you were all alone and you went through that unnecessary shit.”

“Yes, but I overcame it. Well, not really. You just saw me cry over something that happened when I was 18. But my skin and heart are tougher, harder to break through.”

“Nah, I could poke you and know that you’re the biggest softie I know.” He cooed, causing you to roll your eyes but grin lightly. 

“Anyways, I’m saying this because though we were friends again, we shouldn’t be so affectionate with each other.” You revealed. Though his touch comforted you, you pulled and moved away from him, giving some space in between.

But Taehyung appeared insulted and hurt. “Why? That’s how we always were.”

“Yes, but I’m sure no one else would understand.” You countered, scratching your neck. “Your members, friends, Clara, might get the wrong idea, and…I don’t wanna end up in that position again. Even though nothing’s happening between us and I’m sure your actions mean well, but for my sake. I-I’m scared.”

Was it asking for a lot? Maybe. But you needed to get it out of you. This may be a sudden realization as to why you weren’t as sure about bringing Taehyung back into your life. You’ve seen those articles and comments media and some fans put out for the world to see. People misinterpreted things all the time, or worse, warped them as bait to cause drama.

Though Taehyung understood what you meant, that didn’t mean he liked hearing it. He always took pride in your bond with him, something that no one ever quite understood and instead led to various assumptions. Yet most of the time didn’t bother to care and went along with your day.

Boundaries were never discussed, but that was only because they never existed between the two of you! Although if the memories weren’t mistaken, oftentimes, there were restrictions. 

But this was slightly new territory for you and Taehyung. A rather comfortably uncomfortable situation. Nevertheless, it needed to happen to make this work for your strained relationship.

Taehyung sighed before nodding in agreement, “Okay, for you. But can I at least hug you?”

“Sure.” You shrugged. “Friends hug.”

“How about sleeping on the bed?”

“Taehyung, that’s pushing it.” You said sternly, suppressing the light grin on your face. Taehyung always did reason with you.

“Hey, I slept on the bed with my members and friends!” He argued back. “We even cuddled with each other.”

“Taehyung, I’m serious.” You groaned, raising your voice.

Taehyung laughed a hefty one out loud, almost sounding forced which frightened your irritable and tired state. You stared with eyes wide bewildering.  “I’m sorry, but I’m getting tired of you calling me Taehyung.” He brought this up once again.

You raised an eyebrow and said, “It’s your name!” Seriously, why was he taking this so seriously? It was getting quite bothersome.

“But you call me Hyungie.” Taehyung sounded as if he was correcting you condescendingly. You were about to throw tired hands, but he continued. “And you’re my Blue. Look I know I keep bringing this up and you’re probably annoyed, but it shows the importance to me. You’re important to me! More than you know, and not doing it creates distance from us, which makes it so weird. I’ll try but I’m not used to it. I know you don’t trust me either, hell, I don’t trust me either but please have faith in me. Compromise with me!”

“Taehyung, we talked about this. I-I’m not ready for that, please understand. Little by little.” You wanted this to be over, at least for the night. It was late and you needed to get up early. “I’m trying, okay? I want to trust you, but again, there needs to be boundaries. I’m not doing this as a punishment.”

“But—”

“If it must happen, fucking just call me Blue. But I won’t call it back. No, absolutely not. I can’t.” You stood your stance, shaking your head. It was too much for you. “That’s my compromise and that’s final.”

The draining stare you offered him with no budge had him fear you slightly. You were always a scary one especially when you get upset with him. It was rare, well before, but it triggered him to stop his whining and give in to what you voiced out. It had to do for now…

“Okay, that’s fine…” He sighed as he dramatically turned his head to the side to stare at your dresser, pouting like a child. He wasn’t completely satisfied, but this was what he could get. Yet the faint grin plastered on lets him side-eye you in glee. “…Blue.”

You rolled your eyes once more before pushing him off your futon. He laughed as he crawled back into bed. “Okay, that’s settled so let’s go to sleep. I’m tired, I have to wake up early.”

“Are you sure about sleeping on the floor? The other side of the bed sure feels—”

“Taehyung, for the last time and I’m not fucking repeating myself, I’ll be fine sleeping down here. Take all the bed space or don’t, I don’t give a rat’s ass right now.” You snapped back, throwing whatever he had to “convince” you out the window. “Good night, okay? If you still have trouble sleeping, you can have my pillow too.” You grabbed your cushion and handed it to him.

“No, thank you. I need you to be comfy too.” Taehyung quickly denied it before getting into his sheets and hugging his pillow. “This is more than enough. Thank you for everything again. Thank you for opening up to me too.”

“You’re welcome.” You yawned widely as you scratched your head. “No problem with that…It was nice letting it out. Haven’t talked about that in a while. Hope tonight wasn’t that intense for you.”

“I’ve had worse nights.” He said lightly. “But man, Blue, no offense you probably have bad taste men.” He joked; the playful gleam sparked through his reddened eyes as he finally laid his back on the mattress.

“Don’t even talk about that.” You groaned, knowing he was probably right. You too laid down and were about to go to bed. “Don’t make fun of me right now, I’m sensitive.”

“Okay, I won’t. I promise.” He grinned, yet you stuck your tongue out to him. “Again, I’m sorry you had a bad first love.”

Now it was your turn to laugh forcibly to which Taehyung grew confused. “Luckily for me, he wasn’t my first love, that’s for sure. I wouldn’t be caught dead with that assumption.” You scoffed as you closed your eyes. Sleep came sooner than imagined that you didn’t realize what you said, too drowsy to notice.

Suddenly Taehyung was energized again, curious about your statement. “Really? But you said you had so many firsts with him.”

“Dates, relationship, sex, heartbreak,” You mumbled languidly, listing while pondering the thought. “First love wasn’t on the list.”

“Then you had a first love?” He questioned.

You only let a groggy noise, but it confirmed his inquiry.

“T-then who was your first love?” For an odd reason, Taehyung felt nervous asking this. Despite being best friends, the two of you never discussed each other’s love lives. Well, there wasn’t any on both sides, to begin with. He knew about your first kiss before and first boyfriend just now, but never knew anything about this. Maybe it was someone within the ten years apart? But you would have mentioned it, right?

Judging by the timeline of this boyfriend, it was when you first entered college so you were still young and most likely eighteen. That could mean your first love was way before then. If he analyzed his thoughts deeply and if the timeline was correct, you might have loved someone when he was still around.

Then the question now was who?

But no answer came from the other end.

When he turned his head, he found you knocked out spreading arms with long strands all over your face. He figured how tired you were, having done physical, emotional, and mental labor through the whole day so he lets it be.

His hand reached out to push back your hair away from your face, revealing your soft and relaxed expression. Your nose scrunched at the touch, but back to its resting state. He watched your chest rise slowly, lips slightly apart with the low sounds of your snoring escaping your mouth. Yeah, you were definitely gone.

He grinned to himself before saying, “Good night, Blue.” His back ultimately pressed down to the fabric as closed his eyes. Once shut, he realized how badly he too needed to rest.

Despite that, the question remained in his head and led to his dreams.

-

Though rushing this morning, you carefully placed the delicious breakfast plate on the kitchen counter. You woke up a little earlier than usual so you could rush down to the nearest convenience store to get some breakfast for yourself and the sleeping Taehyung.

Well, more so for him. A protein shake and breakfast bar usually sufficed for you. After an intensive night, you assumed he needed some sort of joy in the morning, and what better way than to cook him chocolate chip waffles and cut strawberries on the side?

You never cooked this much even for yourself, but you weren’t complaining. You thought of this as a warming gesture and an apology for leaving him alone in your apartment. Which by the way, you were about to miss your bus ride if you didn’t leave within the next ten minutes.

You placed a metal food net over the dish, then wrote a little note for him and placed it under the cover. You went back to your bedroom to retrieve your backpack and textbook but also noticed Taehyung sprawled out like a starfish on your bed. He held a pillow to his side while the other one was under his head and was placed by you when you woke up. You also added another layered blanket for him. You spotted his signature pout resting on him with his curled strands falling on his forehead.

The sight of his slumber had you smile pleasantly, relieved that he slept soundly and comfortably the night through. Granted, a little over four hours have passed since the two of you snoozed away but you still considered it a win.

He’ll manage around your living spaces without you and would most likely leave an hour or two after. You didn’t have much to entertain him here. You also won’t come back until late in the nighttime after your shift anyway, so who knows when will be the next time you’ll see each other?

But you hoped that it wouldn’t be as long as before.

-

Taehyung woke up in an empty apartment. Your makeshift futon had been folded and tucked in the corner near the closet. This morning was rather cold. He noticed one of the blankets you used on top of him and your pillow under his head. You did all of that without even waking him; though he was too deep in sleep to even hear you.

Once he brushed his teeth and splashed his face with some cold water, he walked towards the kitchen. Sunlight peaked through your window and reflected over the whiteness of your walls and somewhat empty apartment.

As he scoured around, he finally spotted a metal cover on the kitchen counter. He went over to pull it up, revealing the waffles with melted whipped cream and strawberries. Immediately, his mouth watered at the sight. He didn’t know how long it had been out, but he didn’t care any less. It was close to noon and he needed something to eat.

He then saw a note next to the plate. Picking it up, he read—“Sorry for leaving you here alone! I didn’t want to wake you. I have early classes and then I’m going to work. I won’t see you today (unless you stop by at the shop). Please enjoy your breakfast and I’ll see you soon! :) P.S. Feel better too <3<3!”

A smile crept up on his face, chest warming up at your kind gesture. He appreciated that in you. You probably had a busy morning, which surprised him that you had the time to make this.

Nonetheless, he devoured his breakfast, a little cold and mushy but the taste surpassed expectations. While he savored the last of the sliced fruit, he noticed all these unread messages, missed calls, and voicemails from Clara. He grimaced deeply. All her messages were repeated lines of “Where tf are you?” “Why aren’t you picking up?” “Who are you with? Seojoon oppa??” “I called Seojoon oppa and he says you’re not with him. Tae, where are you?!?!? And who??” “You shouldn’t have gone without me knowing!” and “Tae, I swear to God if you don’t pick up, I’m calling the police.” The last one typically held no threat because he knew she threw that in a bunch of that through the years. 

He didn’t even bother going through voicemails because they’ll be repetitive and hearing her whining voice was not something he wanted to hear. Everything was so peaceful and relaxed for him up until now. Ugh, he was frustrated, his mood ruined by her constant bickering and overpowering control.

Right there, he decided to ignore it all. Knowing her, she was either working or probably at their shared house waiting viciously for him to come back home. Thus the idol decided to not go home and headed over to Seojoon’s.

The younger man knew his older friend had a day off—his Wooga Squad had a shared calendar to know their schedules. What better way to spend his day than to bother Seojoon.

-

“Bro, where the fuck were you last night?” Seojoon questioned as he plotted on his couch with Taehyung spread comfortably on the side of him, both had strawberry and banana smoothies on hand provided by the idol. “Clara called me like five times in panic wondering where you were.”

Taehyung sipped on his drink quietly and casually before rolling his eyes. “It seems she always runs to you when she needs help trying to find me.”

Seojoon kept a glare at his friend, shaking his head. “Duh, because you fucking disappear like Houdini.” He gulped his smoothie before proceeding. “Also I guess she’s more comfortable with me than the others.” He referred to Wooshik, Hyungsik, Sunghwan, and Joohyuk.

The idol eyed his friend, hardening his bothered stare. “Right…she’s not as close with them, I guess.”

“So are you gonna tell me where you went?” The actor settled his drink on the coaster on his coffee table. “How about this? Did anyone else know where you were?”

Taehyung bit his lip, contemplating if he should tell him. His panic attacks weren’t a secret. He was open enough to tell his friends about his experience episodes but none of them ever were there to see it happening. But the idol might as well tell it, right?  

“Yeah, I was with ___ last night.”

Seojoon cocked an eyebrow as a wave of questions flooded his brain. But he only asked, “What happened?” He didn’t want to say beyond what he thought.

“Well, we made up.” Taehyung leaned forward, hunched over as he looked at his smoothie. “Uhh, there was more to it.”

“How so?”

“Last night, I got, uh, hammered.” The idol began. “To the point where I got into a fight.”

“Oh my God, Taehyung! Are you okay?” Concern washed Seojoon’s face as he scanned through his friend’s features, then he saw the bruising of his knuckles. “You don’t look too bad, but still. You broke your streak, you were doing so well. How did it happen?”

“Same thing on how most of my fights happen,” Taehyung huffed.

“What led you to that then?”

“I don’t know…I was really sad and hurt, and I hated what was happening with me and ___.”

“But you said you made up.”

“Yeah, after she found me knocking three dudes down, then I threw up and had a fucking panic attack.” The younger man sighed, using his free hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. “It was the worse one yet.”

“Oh, Tae.” Seojoon’s voice softened. “Did you manage?”

“More than manage because she was able to help me get back down.” The idol also settled his drink down before meeting his friend’s eyes. “I was still scared, so I didn’t wanna go back home and asked her if I could stay the night.”

Seojoon nodded softly, going into deep thought. “Anything else?”

“I told ___ about my shitty life, literally everything.” Well, almost everything. “If I wanted her to still be in my life, I didn’t want to hide that part, or whole, of me. ”

“How’d she take it?”

“Pretty well, I guess. She opened up to me too.”

“Well, that’s good…” The actor did his best by being supportive, but he was also a worried friend. “Did you tell Clara this? She’s probably worried sick.”

“No,” He scoffed. “Pissed me off with all her calls and text.”

“Taehyung, you know she’s concerned for you. Even if she’s gonna be more in distress when you tell her about your panic attack, she’ll understand.” Seojoon reasoned.

“No, she won’t.” Taehyung disagreed. “Because all she’ll ask was where I was, and if I tell her I was with ___, she’s gonna flip shit. She can’t even handle my panic attacks, so in my head, it’s like what’s the point?”

“Why are you making this difficult?” The older man complained yet it was said in a collected way that Taehyung never deflected on yet.

“Because she’s difficult and will never understand my perspective.” 

“Aren’t couples supposed to have good communication? What’s wrong?”

His relationship never had the greatest communication, he couldn’t lie about that. But for the past year, it has gotten worse despite the somewhat progress Taehyung achieved. Her presence was getting too much for him. It overwhelmed all aspects of his being. He never felt like he had a rest from it. Something always happened and either side, mainly him, got drained.

He needed to get away.

Suddenly Taehyung had an idea, disregarding Seojoon’s question. “Hyung, can I ask you a favor or two?”

-

“So you never bothered to answer my calls, had me anxious, then you fucking come home after disappearing for almost an entire day with no clear explanation, and now you’re telling me this?”

Taehyung’s jaw clenched, pushing down what he wanted to yell as he continued to pack his luggage. “Fine, you want an explanation—I had a panic attack and I didn’t want to be home, so I rested at Seojoon’s house.”

Clara’s anger diminished went she heard those words. She started looking at him pitifully, which Taehyung never wanted from her. “Oh, Ta—”

“Save it.” He interrupted as he finished packing his clothes. “While being away, I realized that I need space.”

“W-what do you mean?”

He breathed out annoyed as he threw back his head to calm himself. “When I have panic attacks, you don’t know how to deal with them or even help me properly. You just fucking leave while I’m over there alone.”

“W-w-well, I want to but you told me to just leave you alone!” Clara tried to defend herself.

“Because saying the words ‘calm down’ and ‘relax’ to a distressed and anxious person is not helpful. Better to be alone than to hear that crap.” Taehyung responded as he left the bedroom to grab his beauty products from the bathroom, but not without Clara following his tail. “Besides the point, I realized something or I’ve been realizing.”

“What?”

“I know I’m not the best communicator, but I’m getting sick and tired of you breathing down my neck. If I don’t even talk to you for like an hour, I get hit with two hundred calls from you. You were never one to be needy. Why now?” His voice was stable and direct like he had practiced. He grabbed his items, then went back to the room.

“That’s a bit of an exaggeration, don’t you think?” Clara scoffed as she walked behind him.

“Well, it feels like it.” He muttered as he put his products into pouches. “I can’t do anything without you watching my every move. I feel like I can’t be me right now, especially in my home.”

“So what then? Is that all that you’re going to say?”

“No, like I said I need space, which is why I need time away from you.” Once he had everything, he zipped up his luggage and pulled it to stand up. “I’m going to stay with Seojoon Hyung for a while. I need this.”

He then remembered something. He rushed to his closet and rummaged through his clothes and shoes before discovering his box filled with old memories. He quickly uncovered the lid and searched through many memorabilia including the pictures of the members and you. Finally, he found what he was looking for—his friendship bracelet.

Old, scruffed, but surprisingly, in pretty good condition where Taehyung puts in on and admired the handmade accessory for a while before he took a couple of childhood pictures of you and him for the road. He sneaked them in his pants pocket, then went back to his baggage.

Meanwhile, Clara was too busy with her feelings and thoughts to even question what Taehyung was doing. “Are you breaking up with me?” She asked in a whisper. “Please don’t. We can make this work. We—”

“No, I didn’t say that. I said I needed space. I wanna be by myself.”

“But you’re with Seojoon Oppa.”

“He has his own things to do, so I won’t even know he’s there,” Taehyung responded as they headed towards the hallway into the living room to get to the front door. “Remember a couple of sessions ago when my therapist told me to try and be alone since I get overwhelmed by the slightest of things?” She nodded. “Well, I want that right now. This is all too much for me. I’m not at my limit, but it’s getting there.”

Clara pursed her mouth. They both knew she didn’t like this one bit. She finally had Taehyung around, enjoying his presence and it was being taken away from her by the same man. But if this needed to happen to make this work, then so be it.

“If that’s what you need, then I’ll give it to you.” The socialite willingly accepted. Of course, either way, Taehyung was still going to do it. “But at least call me while you’re away.”

“Clara…” They reached the front door, now facing each other. One looked desperate while another looked depleted.

“Or at least text me! A simple good morning and a good night is fine too!” She pouted, still wanting a smidge of contact with her boyfriend.

Taehyung exhaled. Now he was taking pity on her, but in this case, she liked it. “Okay, fine. Good morning and good night. No more, no less. I’ll be okay and safe. If anything, call Seojoon if you need more updates.” He patted her head gently, staring blankly.

“I’ll miss you.”

“…Miss you too.”

“I love you, okay?” She tippy-toed to kiss him on the lips before hugging him tightly.

Taehyung reluctantly reciprocated it back, embracing his girlfriend for the last time in a while, “Okay, love you too.”

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