ikeepitomyself - when did my life become a series of countdowns?
when did my life become a series of countdowns?

A. | 30s | i brush the dust off, gain composure for another round.

325 posts

I Need To Be Held By Someone Who Wants To Hold Me Just For The Sake Of Holding Me

i need to be held by someone who wants to hold me just for the sake of holding me

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7 months ago
 .

خارج العالم، داخل ذراعيك.


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7 months ago

Hi, 👋🏽☺️🥀🍂

Just writing this to pin it and update it when I can 👍🏽

Okay — If you by some reason stumbled into my account, hi 👋🏽☺️.

My name is A :)

This blog was practically created to mirror all of my other blogs together, however, in a more I don't really care who stumbles across my blog. This will be my outlet to vent and curse at God, and myself. Does God have any faults in my life? Absolutely not, but I'm still angry at Him. There's so much hollowness, despair, and self immolation brimming inside me. I'm still keeping it in check. I know Jesus Christ loves me, He loves you as well. I love Him. However, something in me just wants to talk to Him with all this sadness that just recently appeared. My birthday is this September and I hate that I've suddenly felt this blanket of bleakness trying to cover me. Why does He allow this sadness to keep visiting me. I am tired of fighting it. Haven't you taken enough from me?

That being said — I WON'T ALLOW MYSELF TO SUCCUMB TO THIS. I owe it to myself, my friends, family, my future partner, kids, and life in general to be the best fucking version of myself so I can love them the way their intended to be loved. I will overcome these last two weeks of a slump I've been. I WILL BE OKAY. ☺️

Things to expect here: a bunch of everything, including nsfw text posts and reblogs. I'm a horny, desperate, lonely, maybe disgusting, and clueless guy. I'm not ashamed of that anymore.

I will most of the time be talking to myself in the tags and also stating a lot "you" as well as I will be daydreaming like a loser to my future partner on certain posts. If you're reading this, please understand I'm just talking to myself and my imaginary future partner.

It's crazy, I know, but I'm damn on the edge right now so whatever. I'm sure overtime I will grow out of it.

I don't know if I should share a little bit about myself here? Besides there's not much to say about myself.

If this blog gives you the ick, you don't like me following you and reblogging from you, or just don't like, or want my presence in your note, PLEASE feel free to block me or ask me to stop and unfollow you. I will with the utmost respect be okay with being blocked or asked to unfollow. Protect your space.

Lastly, if you have any questions or anything, please feel free to ask away. I'm an open book. Heck if you want tell me off, call me pathetic and a loser, that's okay as well. It won't affect me as much tho. No one has been more cruel to me than myself.

Okay, as I start posting original text posts, posts, and selfies, I will add them to the tag so it can always be easily accessible.

Thank you so much for your time. I really didn't think I'd finish this tonight haha. I guess the energy boost I got from passing my exams helped 😄

Okay ✌🏽


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