Hi Looking For Advice From Black Non-binary People/ Anyone With Natural Hair...

Hi looking for advice from black non-binary people/ anyone with natural hair...

Me and my black friend are the two non binary people in our year and are pretty close regardless of that. We chat sometimes about gender dysphoria etc, and they often mention how much they hate their hair. It used to be buzzed but has now grown to about 3 cm curly though I’m not sure how long without shrinkage (I think they have 4c hair?). They’ve said that they don’t feel comfortable going to a local barber/ shop for black hair as their father isn’t interested in them doing anything different- thinking it would be too feminine/ expensive. 

They’ve mentioned that they’re still interested in trying to get twists or something like that, which can still pass as quite a masculine hair style which shouldn’t upset their dad too much, but still can’t go get it done. 

Here’s why I’m asking for advice. 

Said friend has spoken a lot about how much they hate their hair, and is at the point they’d rather just rebuzz it. In order to do at least something to help them, I would quite like to offer to try to put in twists for them, and have watched a lot of tutorials for how to do that. 

As a white person though, I’m obviously not an expert on how to treat, let alone style, black hair. I’d really appreciate advice on whether this is something I should even bring up, or recommendations for youtube tutorials etc that might help with doing a style on this length of hair. 

Also, if you have any recs for specific styles that could still be passed off as masculine to their parents, but versatile enough to negate some gender dysphoria, i’d love to know in order to pass that on to them.

Thank you so much, and please let me know what you think. 

Have a good one :)

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put your guesses for yourself in the tags <3

Mostly I'm watching black people I know express distaste with non-black people ignoring the context of what happened, thankfully no one I follow is clowning where I can see it.

But I'm watching arguments about 'toxic masculinity' (can you call defending your wife from someone being a dick to her 'toxic masculinity'???) and 'male violence' (I know PLENTY of black women who would backhand someone talking about them like that) and 'abusive' (fellas is it abuse to defend your wife's honor in a way you likely were taught yourself?) etc etc and they're all ignoring the actual context of what happened.

A black man who knew better made an offensive and ableist joke about a black woman's medical condition that drastically changed her appearance and caused her to sacrifice something culturally important to her, on live TV in front of an audience, and her black husband got on stage and confronted the problem the same way it would have played out if this was not a televised event.

It's wild to me that people aren't connecting the dots. "He shouldn't have used violence" sure and Chris Rock shouldn't have made the joke but he did and he got what he knew he would have gotten if he'd said it anywhere else. He was part of that hair documentary. He KNOWS BETTER. I got popped just like that for a comment about a black woman's hair when I was 8. There are lines and he crossed them. And unlike my 8yo self, he knew where those lines were when he chose to open his mouth.

She was in the audience. She was sitting by Will. Chris looked directly at her and pointed at her before making the joke. He knew what he was doing. He watched Will come up to him agitated. And he didn't press charges even though police encouraged him to do so. He knew exactly what he would have gotten for that in any other place.

i hate this take so much

shut up 

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had a dream i retweeted this saying ‘i dont want this merch but i felt bad for him’ and he called me out crying and sent me schlatt merch instead as punishment

idk

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