Sehun: Do Dragons Fart Fire?

sehun: do dragons fart fire?

minseok: i don’t know.

sehun: i thought you went to college.

Zhang Yixing

👀👀

minseok: sehun?

sehun, sighing: luhan used to call me sehun...

minseok: because it's your fucking name

kyungsoo: the food is too hot, i can't eat it

jongin: you're too hot and i can still eat you

kyungsoo: *blushes profusely*

jongin: *winks at him*

junmyeon: one dinner. i just want ONE DINNER

Disclamer: This is just something I did for fun. It’s not an official profile or anything like that, so please don’t take it too seriously.

What up! So, after I made my guide to Pentagon, I was thinking “Dang, there are a lot of members in Pentagon…. BUT THE BOYZ HAVE EVEN MORE MEMBERS, RIP.” And that’s how I decided to make yet another shitty guide! This time, we’ll be exploring a very New (you’ll get why I capitalized that afterwards) boy group in the K-Pop scene! I present to you: My Shitty Guide to The Boyz

Group Name: The Boyz

have 12 freaking members RIP

hella visuals (i just say that with everyone, okay? everyone is visual goals)

debuted on december of 2017, so they’re still really New

had a predebut show called Flower Boy Snack Shop and it was…. interesting

i knew they were gonna be hella weird, and i still like them, OKAY?!

a lot of members made predebut appearances, but i’ll get more in depth in their individual descriptions

let’s just get right into it

Members

Lee Sangyeon

technically, there’s no leader in The Boyz, but he’s “the head” so basically the leader

the father

other members like to bully him RIP

kept loosing when they were playing games and dipped his feet in a pool in the middle of winter

THERE WAS STRAIGHT UP ICE FORMING IN THE FREAKING POOL

new, q, hwall, and sangyeon were playing the zombie game and new got everyone to leave the room so that sangyeon would lose the game 

has he… has he ever won a game?? this just occurred to me as i’m writing this, but i’m not sure if i’ve ever?? seen him win?? when they play games??

oof…. that sucks. it’s okay, bby. we still love you

is going to be a fixed cast member on a variety show called We Are the One! pls watch it!

was the owner/manager of the restaurant they ran for flower boy snack shop

got casted because someone from his company saw his side profile and gave him a card LOL why i gotta be so ugly

a very hardworking person, we love a diligent man

ALSO FRIENDS WITH YONGGUK FROM JBJ AND I CRY, THEY’RE PROBABLY SO CUTE AND WEIRD TOGETHER

roommates with jacob!

really good at handling situations calmly because he has to put up with 10 whole idiots (i love them but some of them are HELLA dumb)

before his debut, he was in melody day’s you seem busy 

Videos to Watch: (1) (2) (3)

Bae Jacob

korean name is joonyoung

from toronto, canada!

the angel and mom of the group

he used to play sports like voleyball and basketball

actually not bad at table tennis either! he kinda plays weird, but he’s not terrible, you feel?

can play guitar and my heart goes soft when he does that

can compose and write lyrics too! played a small part of his self composed song for new, kevin, and sangyeon

can impersonate elmo lol it’s cute

really freaking loves cereal

keeps like 6 boxes of cereal in his room and also brought a box with him when they were going away for a few days

hates horror movies with his entire being

got all sulky and pouty when The Boyz were watching a movie together

pls protect him at all costs

has really powerful hips LOL

A HUGE FANBOY OF SAM KIM, AND GOT REALLY NERVOUS AND SHY WHEN SAM VISITED FLOWER SNACK SHOP, I AM WEAK

they had this mini variety show, and when jacob and kevin were going against each other, they were like “this is our first time talking to each other in korean!” and i got WEAK

Videos to Watch: (1) (2) (3)

Kim Younghoon

a whole weirdo

got casted when he was eating bread at a convenience store bc he’s hot

he looks really cool and chic but he’s a whole nerd

kinda shy in the beginning but wild af around the boyz

gets embarrassed vvv easy

he does this thing?? where he like?? folds his hands in front of his chest when he’s nervous?? it’s kinda cute idk

A FANBOY AS WELL! he really likes v from bts and even has him as his phone lockscreen lol

appeared!! in music videos!! predebut! the dude from I.O.I’s Whatta Man? HIM. he’s not a jerk in real life, tho, so don’t worry.

was also in a john park mv (do not disturb) and melody day mv (colours)

also did modeling predebut! this boy can do anything, lmao

honestly just kinda winging his way through things and i relate

likes to eat alone because he’s not distracted or anything like that (read: he just wants to get away from the Boyz’s shit sometime LMAO)

roommates with juyeon and sunwoo, and i’m honestly so curious as to how that’s working out for them LOL

Videos to Watch: (1) (2) (3)

Lee Jaehyun (HyunJae)

good at sports!

another visual god 

i think it was sunwoo?? that said hyunjae wasn’t afraid of anything

but i call total bs because when the boyz were watching a horror movie hyunjae started screaming

not like scared screaming but like mad screaming, you know what i’m talking about? yeah, he was like mad screaming, but it was just because he was scared lol

arguably the biggest meme in this group

once did cheesy pickup lines and the other members looked like they were gonna throw some rounds LOL

EATS A LOT

loves fried chicken the most, would probably slap one of his members in the face for fried chicken

said he wants to one day do a collab with baekhyun from exo (there are so many fanboys in this group and i am HERE for it)

was in two melody day mvs, you seem busy and colour

roommates with haknyeon

Videos to Watch: (1) (2) (3)

Lee Juyeon

a whole visual (i’m sorry, everyone in this group is just A+ VISUALS, OKAY)

CAN DO THE SPLITS?? I CAN’T EVEN DO THE SPLITS. VVV FLEXIBLE

apparently very good at basketball!

a diligent student! student committee president! and also got an award from the national assembly!

a pretty okay cook! he was one of the main chefs during flower snack shop

very gullible, it was like the 2nd?? i think?? episode of flower snack shop and some of the members played a prank on him by saying he had a disease or something like that

modeled in seoul fashion week with younghoon, we love a visual king

we also love a cute man because apparently he really likes hello kitty, and that just really makes my soul soft, you feel? like, that’s just so pure

we need to protect juyeon at all costs

a pouty baby, gets upset kinda easily…. it’s okay, boo, you do you

Videos to Watch: (1) (2) (3)

Kevin Moon

korean name is hyungseo

i love his family name so much, i love the name moon

from vancouver, canada!

a huge beyonce and sam kim fan, kevin has the right idea

actually attended college for like 4 days before dropping out to focus on the boyz

calls for his mom whenever he’s embarrassed, but also called for his dad when time when he was scared and it was actually so cute i almost shed tears, i’m soft for him

woke up early to enjoy a cup of coffee, and if i haven’t seen a more stereotypical, commercial life thing i have ever seen idk what is

him, eric, younghoon, and haknyeon once had to go to the supermarket as the other members got some free time, and eric had the brilliant idea to DEAD ASS LEAVE KEVIN AT THE MARKET

LIKE THEY JUST GOT IN THE VAN AND DROVE AWAY WHILE ERIC YELLED FOR HIM TO BUY ICE CREAM

threatens to move to canada when things don’t go his way SAME

hella talented in drawing! he drew eric’s birthday card and it was v cute

eyebrow game hella strong

Videos to Watch: (1) (2) (3)

Choi Chanhee (New)

a WHOLE cutie, just look at the gif above

i seriously think he’s just the cutest, omg

good at math! does this thing with his hands when he’s doing mental math (like addition, he really good at addition) and i think it’s adorable

did a ton of part time jobs in the past, so he basically had to hard carry the boyz on the first day of flower snack shop

TATTOO!

anyone that saw my pentagon guide will know that i love tattoos, and new has one!

it’s kinda small, and you can actually kinda see it in the gif above!

it’s a small cross on his pinky finger

probably the best chef in the boyz, when they were filming for this show, they had to make all their meals by themselves and they somehow managed to mess up pre-prepared food, and new swooped in and saved the day dinner

may be smol but can eat a lot! ate a whole pizza in 20 minutes (and some chicken) after he ate noodles 

roommates with eric

Videos to Watch: (1) (2) (3)

Ji Changmin (Q)

another whole cutie

a dancing machine, whenever he teaches the boyz choreo, he gets really serious and really hot

one of like two members that aren’t afraid of almost anything

but can be scared every now and then, it’s like a hit or miss with this kid, he has no in between

when playing games with sangyeon, new, and hwall, he said “let’s just space out for a minute” and then, not even ten seconds later, he just burst out laughing

REALLY LONG NECK, IT’S APPARENTLY 12 CM AND HE’S KNOWN AS THE GIRAFFE OF THE GROUP

roommates with kevin and hwall

i’ve read that he’s left-handed and i’ve heard that he’s ambidextrous, and i don’t know which is the truth, so we’re just going to go with “left-handed” until i see a video of him writing with his right hand or something like that

once got petty because jacob challenged him to dance twice’s likey for badges and jacob won, so he danced to ddd by exid and took jacob’s badges

ended up coming in first place for that episode

Videos to Watch: (1) (2) (3)

Ju Haknyeon

tbh, you probably already know him, lol

got popular on the survival show pd101s2, and even made it to top 20 i screamed when he performed hands on me, who allowED YOU

kinda dumb and kinda meme-y, but i just think that makes him more lovable

when he had to go grocery shopping instead on getting free time, he did this thing where he had an insane expression and just destroyed the shopping cart with a ton of snacks…. even kevin had to tell him to take it down a notch

HALF CHINESE, AYYYY, RESPRESENTING

lived in hong kong for a little while when he was younger

he may be fluent in mandarin or just conversational, but either way, he’s kinda there, lol

also appeared predebut in melody day’s you seem busy

on a bit of a more serious note haknyeon has struggled a lot, and i don’t want to get too into it, but please know that he, like the rest of the members, is hard working, kind, and just out here trying his best. please give him lots of love

Videos to Watch: (1) (2) (3)

Heo Hyunjoon (Hwall)

ILLEGAL, WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT?

sorry, i get emotional when i look at hwall, don’t mind me

fun fact: HE AND HAKNYEON HAVE THE SAME BIRTHDAY! just one year apart!

may look cool, but he’s actually just a toddler.

another member of the boyz that has lived abroad! was in the philippines for four years and can speak english as a result! (again, idk if it’s fluent or conversational, but he’s somewhere in that range)

hwall means bow in korean, so he does that thing (refer to the gif above) whenever there’s a camera or fan around

appeared predebut in melody day’s colour

i love his ear piercing, like whenever he wears a long earring i get all soft, like?? truly beautiful

really likes jimin of bts! attended the same dance academy just because he likes him (when will we ever be as good a fanboy as the boyz is?)

roommates with q and kevin!

once lazily clung onto sunwoo’s leg and just let him drag him around the practice room

more members started joining in too, before they eventually stopped lol

Videos to Watch:

(1) (2) (3)

Kim Sunwoo

appeared predebut on high school rapper!

looks like an actual raccoon

has an obsession with juice? like, all types of juices that are good for your health.

when they left the house for a 4 nights 5 days trip, he packed like 20 pouches of juice

kinda looks tired of everyone’s shit all the time, but i’m pretty sure that’s just his face. honestly, i relate, though

used to play soccer! claims he can balance a soccer ball on his head, but i have yet to see him successfully do it

i forgot who and when, but i think i remember one of the members saying he bluffs a lot? it may have also been a caption from one of their Off The Boyz videos

is one of the more mature members, even though he’s younger, but still plays around a lot with his members

there’s this video, i’ll link it in the group videos, but basically sunwoo was telling this story of a scary happening that happened to him and q, and i know it was supposed to be scary, but i ended up laughing throughout a lot of it because the way sunwoo told it was just so entertaining??

i honestly think he’ll be a really good variety idol in the future, y’all better watch out for him

Videos to Watch: (1) (2) (3)

Son Youngjae (Eric)

born in korea, but lived in the us! raised in LA

when sam kim came to visit them, he had to kinda come and relieve the awkwardness that jacob, kevin, and sam were radiating

really good at most things in life! he’s pretty hardworking, and seems to pick up on things fairly quickly

can solve a rubik’s cube in under a minute! i can’t even do it in ten years! why is he better than me in every aspect!

also played baseball!

y’all this is insane, but i don’t think this boy chews his noodles when he eats ramen?

he had to eat a bowl of ramen during this one shooting, and the members said that he doesn’t really chew his noodles?? AND HE FOR REAL WAS JUST KINDA SWALLOWING IT?? HOW DO YOU DO THAT??

likes geodude? can do an impression of him

also appeared predebut in melody day’s mv colour

roommates with new!

likes to skateboard

and really, really loves jooyeon, lol. but also loves everyone else. mainly has a soft spot for jooyeon, tho, and it just makes me really soft for the both of them

Videos to Watch: (1) (2) (3)

YIKE, THAT IS A LOT OF PEOPLE. It just means more cuties to love, tho! Almost done, promise!

Videos of The Boyz to Watch! Their The100 that’s still ongoing as I type this (X) Their Come On! The Boyz, which is just a mess throughout (X) Their Predebut show Flower Snack Shop (X) This cute “horror” special on their Official Youtube (X) Their Mission The Boyz in Jeonju (X) (highly recommend that you check out all their Mission The Boyz, though, it’s really funny) Open The Boyz (X) (X) (X)

And, yeah! That’s it for now! I know this was kinda long, but, hey…. at least you got to look at these cuties, AMIRITE? Okay, that’s all for now! Go stan The Boyz! Bye!

luhan, talking to kyungsoo: i just want a date

sehun: *appears out of nowhere wearing a suit and holding flowers*

kyungsoo:

kyungsoo: and i want a million dollars