Like The Back Of My Hand.

Like The Back of My Hand.

a vds one shot. you can find more on my ao3.

( @ apolloswords )

feel free to comment/message me any suggestions for one shot ideas!

Jens visits Lucas and his newly broken hand, even if it means playing a game of risks and rewards.

When Jens had finally climbed through the window of Lucas’ bedroom, he tried his best to stifle his laugh. But even as hard as he bit his lip, his face broke into a smile and Lucas stayed there, sat on his bed as he looked at him- clearly very unamused.

“Don’t laugh.” He frowned, which only made Jens let out a little chuckle.

Walking over to his bed, he threw his body down on it and greeted his friend with a bright smile. Lucas only wrinkled his nose and furrowed his brows at him, knowing Jens was very intrigued by the entire situation.

“I’m not laughing.” He finally said, even though a little chuckle did escape him.

“Yes you are.” Lucas pouted before flopping his back down on his pillows.

Leaning up a bit, Jens poked at the cast on Lucas’ arm teasingly. “I’m not laughing.” He said again, even though his lips were turned up into a wide smirk.

“Yes you are.” Lucas groaned as he dramatically covered his face with a pillow. “You like seeing me in pain.”

“I thought you weren’t in pain anymore? That’s why they released you from the hospital.”

He shook his head. “There’s still some pain. More than last time I broke it.”

Getting up from his bed, Jens gestured around his room. “Where’s your pain medications?”

“The only drug I need is you baby.” Lucas replied with a weary smile on his face and Jens felt his heart skip a beat. He didn’t need his best friend to suspect his rather unrequited crush.

Trying to ignore the way his body warmed up to the term, “baby”, Jens hoped the warm flush on his face from a slight blush wouldn’t give him away. Putting a hand to his heart as he tilted his head back, he sighed dramatically. “That’s sweet of you. But where are your medications?”

“Top row of my bookshelf.” He heard Lucas mumble.

Without even needing to tiptoe, Jens grabbed the small bottle of pills and tossed it to him. He should’ve thought it through first, since Lucas only really had one working hand. Instead of catching it like he had intended, it fell on Lucas’ lap. Staring blankly at Jens, he realized there was a low chance he could open up the bottle with only one hand.

Trying not to think about his hand brushing against Lucas’ thigh, Jens diverted eye contact as he tried to quickly pick up the bottle from his lap. He didn’t think Lucas felt rather awkward with the whole thing, since they were just friends.

Popping the cap open, Jens gave Lucas a small pill and he popped it in his mouth before leaning over on his desk to take a sip of water. Jens gently flopped down on the bed again, this time, beside Lucas as he made himself comfortable against the abundance of pillows.

“How’d you break your hand anyway?” He asked. “What’s your excuse this time?”

Laughing, he shook his head, recalling the incident. “Something stupid.” Lucas shrugged as he let out a light chuckle. “Same thing as last time. Got on a skateboard and tried to do a trick under Jayden’s supervision.”

Snorting, Jens shook his head. “Well that’s the last time you do anything under Jayden’s supervision.”

“Yep, at least for a long time.” Looking at Jens, he raised a brow. “You want to do me a favour?”

“Sure. Anything.”

“Would you paint my nails for me?”

Smiling at Lucas’ shyness, he rolled his eyes playfully. “You know I can barley even write my name neatly.”

“Please?” Lucas sweetly asked, even pouting his lip for dramatics.

After all, it wasn’t like he could do much with a broken hand.

Rolling his eyes again, Jens sighed but couldn’t cover the smile growing on his face. “Okay fine,” He said, giving in. “What colour would you like?”

-

Biting his tongue, Jens tried his hardest to paint the last coat on Lucas’ nails. He had switched positions now, moving away from his stretched out position on the pillows beside Lucas to sitting with his legs crossed in front of him. The bright pink polish on his nails seemed to liven up the room against the darkness of the rain from outside, gently tapping on the windowsill. It was a good thing he had came earlier, or else climbing though the window on the slippery rooftop would probably result in him breaking his own arm.

Lucas’ hand, the one without a cast, was delicate in his. Long slender fingers decorated with rings, sometimes very detailed extravagant ones or a simple silver band that he liked to twist and play with when he felt fidgety. Lucas always had pretty hands, Jens realized. And when he started wearing nail polish on them, he realized they were even prettier.

Even though it wasn’t like he was actually holding Lucas hand, Jens thought about the way it felt against his own. Soft, smooth and dainty, like they were paintbrushes that sat in the sun, waiting to be picked up to create art. Jens’ fingers were mostly calloused after long hours on the guitar. He sometimes wondered if Lucas ever felt the details of his hand against his own, wondering how it felt to just freely place his hand in his whenever he wanted. Jens would like that. Seeing his fingers intertwined with rings and nail polish, it was like holding a piece of art in the palm of his hand.

“What were you doing yesterday?” Lucas asked, as Jens capped the bottle of polish, pushing away his thoughts towards the back of his head.

Pretending to act dumb, Jens shrugged. “Nothing. What do you mean?”

“Well you avoided coming to the skatepark with me and Jayden in the first place. And then you didn’t answer the phone the entire time I was in the emergency room.” He explained, studying the way he seemed so hesitant to answer. “So where were you?”

Looking away, Jens let out a puff of air to buy him some time. He wasn’t a bad liar by any means, but it was always much harder for him to lie to Lucas. Sometimes he thought that Lucas knew him better than he did, which is why he was so paranoid his feelings for him would eventually be exposed. Lucas knew him like he was the back of his hand.

Still not taking his eyes off of him, Jens huffed. “Fine, you win. I had a date.”

“You had a date?” Lucas exclaimed. He couldn’t mistake the way his heart panged. The rather excited reaction he got definitely confirmed Lucas could care less about who Jens got involved with, meaning he most likely, most definitely did not have feelings for him.

“Yeah, I had a date.” He repeated. Playing with the bottle of polish in his hands, he avoided Lucas’ curious eyes. “We were just at some cafe.”

“Oh really? Well how’d it go?”

“Okay I guess.” Shrugging, he lifted his head up. “I mean it wasn’t the worst date.”

“But?” Lucas moved his arms a bit, gesturing for Jens to continue.

“It was really fucking boring.” He admitted. “Like, not because I was the only one making conversation but everything I had to listen to was just dreadful and I just didn’t care for.”

“Maybe you’re just a really bad date.”

Laughing, Jens teased him back. “Well you wouldn’t really know. You haven’t went on a date with me.”

Lucas smiled at himself while he didn’t give Jens a response. There was a hint of hope in his chest, something that made him think that maybe Lucas did have reciprocated feelings. He didn’t want to get his hopes up, but he hoped the little smile on his face held the same secret the small smile on his own face held.

“So who was it?” Lucas finally asked, looking at Jens curiously.

He tried to search his eyes, for maybe just a glimpse of hurt of envy within their beautiful blue colour. It was the first thing he had noticed about Lucas upon meeting him as the new kid a few years ago, and it was the last thing he always made sure to look at before they ever parted ways.

“Jana had this friend who she wanted to set me up with.” He finally said. “Her name was like Maya or something.”

Snorting, Lucas looked at him teasingly. “Another friend of an ex? What? Is your type best friends or something?”

If only you knew. Jens thought to himself.

Clearing his throat, Jens scratched his jaw as he tried to think of some sort of response. Lucas squinted his eyes a bit, watching Jens suspiciously. He wasn’t sure why he was being looked at like this, like he was being studied, but rising up more questions might only make it more obvious that he was hiding something.

Before he could be the one to make a reply, Lucas brought his hands, well, hand and cast, up to his face. Jens knew this look. It was the look that signalled Lucas had an idea that just had to be executed. This idea could easily go i two ways.

One, a success. As crazy as the idea was, it would wound up actually working even at the very last second. Trusting the process was key here.

Or two, a horrible fail. Probably even worse than just a fail. There would be no coming back from this. It would probably only create a deeper hole than the one they started with and having to crawl out of it would be their own mission impossible.

Deciding just to bite the bullet and give in, Jens sighed. “What is it?”

“We make you an online dating profile.”

“We make me an online dating profile?” Jens gawked in disbelief.

“We make you an online dating profile.” Lucas repeated, the corners of his mouth lifting up into a mischievous grin.

“Why would I need one of those?”

“Well, there’s many dating apps and sites you could easily go on.” Lucas explained, making gestures with his hands. While it was a very Lucas trait, it did look kind of funny with the thick blue cast on his arm. “And then you could meet a bunch of people, talk to them and then set up some dates! They would be people you don’t know yet.”

But that was the thing. Jens didn’t need someone he didn’t know yet. The someone he wanted he already knew, like the back of his hand. And he was right in front of him, broken arm and all. He wished he could just risk it all. To admit to Lucas’ face that he was in love with him.

He knew he couldn’t. If he did, he knew an even bigger risk would follow. And that was loosing Lucas entirely. Jens would rather have Lucas for what they were now instead of having no Lucas at all.

“I don’t know.” He said, scratching the back of his neck as he hesitated. “That doesn’t really align with my morals.

“What morals?”

“Fair point.”

Rolling his eyes, Lucas placed a hand on top of Jens’, as he tried not to freeze up at the touch.

“Look,” He said softly. “I know people think dating apps mean you’ve hit a level of desperate, but that’s not true. A lot of people use dating apps.”

“Have you?”

“I have.” He admitted. “A long time ago, like when I was still in the closet and stuff.”

“How did it go?”

“Well I met some new people. People with the same hesitations and speculations I had. And some who felt like they would never make a connection finally did.”

“And what happened with all of that?”

He shrugged. “Not much. I only really used it because like I said, I was closeted. But then after I accepted who I was, I kind of deleted all of them.”

“Well then why should I get it?”

“To maybe broaden your horizons? So you don’t keep up with your track record of dating the best friend?” Lucas replied, in a matter-of-factly tone.

“You have a point.” He mumbled under his breath, not looking at Lucas. He didn’t need to see the smug look on his face, knowing he had won.

Digging into his back pocket, Jens pulled out his phone and handed it to Lucas. If it was any other time where Jens didn’t pity to boy and his cast, he would’ve tossed the phone and just pray Lucas had some athleticism to catch it.

Taking the phone form Jens, Lucas expertly unlocked it and began messing around on it. Jens wasn’t exactly sure what he was doing, but he could only guess he was downloading an abundance of dating apps and beginning to create profiles on them. He had to trust Lucas wouldn’t make a joke out of him and choose rather horrendous photos of him for the whole city to see.

But it didn’t really matter if he did. Jens didn’t have much interest or care to appeal to anyone else. He probably wouldn’t even open any of the apps unless he found himself awake at night hand procrastinating sleep. It wasn’t that he felt like he was above or better than online dating, he just had no desire to really commit to the whole bit. Lucas was probably just bored and needed some entertainment.

There was only so much he could do with a broken hand.

After a few more minutes, Lucas proudly held the phone up and waved it in Jens’ face.

“Check it out, I got it all set up for you.”

Taking the phone, Jens scrolled through the profile. Some of the photos were random selfies, while others were candid photos of him. It took him a bit, but he realized something similar within all the candid shots. They had been taken whenever he was with Lucas, even when Lucas wasn’t in the frame. There was one of him taken on a swing set, when Lucas had cracked up a joke and another take at the skatepark, when Jens had watched Lucas and Jayden try to pull off a competition. One photo even had Jens looking off towards someone beside him, as though he was listening intently to what they were saying. And he was. It was when their friend group had went out for breakfast and Lucas was rambling on about the night before.

He realized that the photos Lucas thought he looked best in, were all reactions and expressions he found himself doing whenever he was around. Jens wondered if Lucas had done this on purpose, or was simply clueless at the coincidence. It wasn’t like any of the photos had any evidence of Lucas being around anyway. Jens only knew they did because he held onto those fond memories.

“Jens? Are you okay?” Lucas asked, his voice soft and gentle.

Shaking his head, he scratched his chin as he thought up another excuse. Luckily, there seemed to be a notification right beside to messaging icon. He figured that would probably peak Lucas’ interest.

“Nothing.” He lied, before flipping the phone screen around to show Lucas. “I just got a message.”

“Oh my god let me see!” He exclaimed as he quickly grabbed the phone from Jens’ hand.

Panicking that Lucas was going to message the person back, Jens had to stop him before all hell broke loose. Without really thinking it through, he pushed his body forward and lunged forward to grab the phone.

Instead of successfully taking the phone back, Lucas had raised his hand up just as Jens thought he had it in his grasp. Due to the rather quick reflex, that Jens didn’t even know Lucas had, he felt himself fall and land on his chest.

Only, he didn’t just land on his own chest.

Right beneath him was Lucas’.

Luckily, not on the broken hand.

Their faces were dangerously close, only inches apart. Jens could make out the way Lucas’ eyes were becoming a mess of blue shades, some dark while others were bright. He didn’t look alarmed, but rather surprised at the sudden action Jens had taken. He gulped as Jens noticed how close their lips were. He could feel his mouth slightly open, lightly panting as he tried to catch his breath and calm down the adrenaline in his body and racing of his heart. Jens tried to focus on Lucas’s body, the way his chest tighten from underneath him, as if he was holding his breath.

Waiting.

Jens figured the idea in his head could go in two ways.

One, a success. As crazy as the idea was, it would wound up actually working even at the very last second. Trusting the process was key here.

Or two, a horrible fail. Probably even worse than just a fail. There would be no coming back from this. It would probably only create a deeper hole than the one they started with and having to crawl out of it would be their own mission impossible.

But he also figured, he was willing to take the risk.

Without trying to pay attention to the second thoughts racking through his brain, Jens pushed himself further and placed his hands on the side of Lucas’ face before pulling him in closer. Soon enough, their lips had connected and they were kissing each other.

He was finally kissing Lucas.

Jens felt his phone drop onto the pillows beside him, feeling it slide down somewhere on the bed. Lucas wrapped his arms, well, arm and cast, around his neck and pulled him in a little closer to deepen the kiss. Jens felt a smile against his lips, and at this point, he wasn’t sure which one of them it was coming from.

But he didn’t need to look at Lucas to know there was most definitely a smile on his face.

Because Jens knew him like he was the back of his hand.

When the pulled apart, lips red and swollen from the kissing, they both had hitched breathing and tried to force it to come to a slow. Jens searched Lucas’ eyes, trying to find a hint of doubt or regret.

They were only brighter than ever.

“I’m sorry.” He suddenly apologized, quickly getting off of him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to kiss you. I, I can go.”

He quickly got up, about to head out the window when he felt a hand reach out for his and pull him back.

“No.” Lucas said in a small voice. “Don’t go. Don’t be sorry.”

“I don’t want to ruin anything. We can pretend it never happened.”

A small smile formed on Lucas lips, the ones Jens had just kissed a minute ago. “But then I would have to keep waiting for you to finally kiss me.”

“You wanted me to kiss you?” Jens asked in disbelief, sitting back down. “I’ve been wanting to kiss you for so long.”

“And I’ve been wanting to be kissed by you for so long.” Lucas lightly laughed, placing the hand with the cast on his shoulder, pulling him in closer. The material of the cast was scratchy against his cheek, but Jens found himself smiling widely at the situation.

“Well I guess those dating apps didn’t really broaden my horizons.” He teased, snuggling in closer to him.

Lucas snorted. “Thanks for letting me waste minutes of my life I’ll never get back.”

“Oh it’s okay.” Jens said, patting his thigh assuringly. “I think you’ll have more fun deleting some those profiles and apps now.”

“You have a point.” He giggled. “You know, I knew you as a crush on me for awhile.”

“What?” He asked in shock, almost pulling away from him until Lucas tugged on his shirt to pull him back. “How did you know that?”

“You have a tell.” Lucas explained. “You scratch your chin whenever you want to hide the fact you have a crush on someone. And you’ve been doing it lately around our friends and then a little bit more with me. I thought I was just hoping your crush was on me. And then today finally confirmed that.”

“Oh man,” Jens chuckled as he took Lucas’ non-broken hand and brought it up to his lips. He kissed his knuckles gently, as he watched Lucas’ face turn a bright shade of blush. “You know me way too well.”

“Almost like the back of your hand.” Lucas said with a smile, before leaning in closer to fill the space between them.

“Like the back of my hand.” He whispered back, repeating the words as his lips brushed against Lucas’, before they closed the last few centimetres between them for another kiss.

skamverse - experience (ludovico einaudi)

this video is very different from the ones i made before. the song has no lyrics so i kinda went with what the instruments reminded me of or tried to group together themes like falling out and then, forgiving. i am really proud of it! the song is a favourite of mine and it sort of reminds me of life in general so i tried to present ‘life in the skamverse’.

❣️🍒 i wish everyone that sees this a very sweet february 🍒❣️

A moan and a satisfied sigh was the last thing he heard before falling asleep in the arms of the sexy Belgian boy.

jens stoffels gave me stiles stilinski vibes i can’t explain it at all he just did