Anyone Else Cried Multiple Times Today From Depression/anxiety Spiking Because Of Familial Obligations

anyone else cried multiple times today from depression/anxiety spiking because of familial obligations despite your family not actually giving two shits about you as a person? no? just me?

@mnvart // Kaveh Akbar, 'Calling A Wolf A Wolf' // @PinkRangerLB on Twitter // @kosmogrl // @devinsturk, '15 Proverbs for the Fellow Chronically Ill' // Jasmine Deporta // Anaïs Nin, House of Incest // the gentle wisdom uquiz by @inkskinned // Rora Blue, 'Sweet Dreams' // Hala Alyan, Dear Layal

me finding this going through my likes and realizing it was how you play the game all along

can we get a hint about the new series…. 👀

It's the opposite of a slow burn.

reblog this to give the person you reblogged it from a hug

SMART GIRL! DRESS-UP TIME! CHICKEN BRUSCHETTA! i am needy for reedy at this point man. i LOVE these two!!

Adult Education Part 10 | Hangman x OC

Summary: The rest of the weekend at Jake's place felt like a dream, but Jessica's fraternity fundraiser was quickly approaching. She crashes back to reality on Monday when she has to face Brian again. But just maybe she finally has the right people on her side. 

Warnings: Fluff, smut, angst, swearing, 18+

Length: 4500 words

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Female OC

This story is part of the Beer Boy and Sugar universe but can be read on its own! Adult Education masterlist

Seriously, who let Jake on my masterlist!? Banner by @mak-32

Jessica took a few minutes to get cleaned up in Jake's bathroom. She felt flushed and warm, and when she looked in the mirror, her cheeks were bright pink. Even after taking off her glasses and splashing some water on her face, she looked flustered. 

She sat on the closed toilet lid for a moment. She was completely naked, and she could hear Jake in the kitchen, and she didn't know what she was supposed to do. "Oh god," she moaned, running her fingers through her messy hair. Was she supposed to change back into her clothes from earlier? Or dress in her nightie even though it was only mid afternoon? What had Jake changed into after she ducked in here?

After a few deep breaths, she opened the door and walked out into the living room and peeked into the kitchen where Jake was arranging things on the counter. She took in his broad shoulders and the fact that he was only wearing his underwear. "Can I borrow a shirt?" she asked, and he spun to face her with a huge smile. 

Maybe she should have been a little self conscious with the way he was looking at her. This was honestly the first time she's been exclusive with a guy before sleeping with him, and now she felt a little foolish for walking around his condo completely nude. "Of course," he replied softly. "Don't want you getting cold. Plus maybe you'll let me take it off of you later."

Okay. So he still thought she was desirable after they had sex and when her hair and makeup were a mess. "There's a good possibility," she whispered, thinking about his body above and beneath hers. 

Jake kissed her cheek and took her by the hand, leading her back into his bedroom. "Help yourself to whatever you want," he told her, opening a few of his dresser drawers. "Undershirts. Shorts. Longhorns shirts."

She laughed as he squeezed her hand. "You have a whole drawer full of Longhorns shirts? Seems kind of crazy you didn't even want to watch the game earlier." She reached into the drawer and pulled out an orange tee shirt as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Yeah, well... you were on my lap. Rubbing on my dick. What the hell else was I supposed to be focused on?" He looked a little flushed too as she pulled the shirt over her head and then adjusted her glasses. 

"Nothing else," she said softly. "Just me."

With his hand wrapped around her waist and his lips close to her ear, Jake showed her everything in the remaining drawers and his closet. "You can wear anything you want, whenever you want. And you don't have to ask me again. You just go ahead and take it."

"Okay," she replied, looking up at him. She noticed all of his expertly pressed uniforms hanging up, and she was a little curious how the blue and white ones would look on him. She was about to mention them when he pulled her a little closer. And then he kissed her, and it was soft and sweet as she wrapped her arms around his waist. She felt good when she was with him, like she could take a break from worrying about Brian and tenure and failing students. Like Jake was someone who wasn't going to make her life harder.

"Wanna check out that Super Hornet spec sheet with me?" he asked, and she knew she must look ridiculously excited. 

"Yes," she sighed. And if she thought that was all he had in store, she was very wrong. A minute later she was perched on one of the stools at the kitchen island, and she grinned as Jake slid a single sheet of paper across the granite. It was upside down, and he kept his palm on top of it as she tried to turn it over.

"Not so fast," he drawled. "This is top secret, highly sensitive information I'm about to show you. Do you promise you won't turn me in and get me court-martialed?"

"Jake," she whispered as she looked at his pretty green eyes. "I'm a little turned on just thinking about the math. Please. I won't tell a soul."

"Fuck," he groaned, flipping the paper over for her. "I can't say no to you when you tell me that."

She gasped as she looked at the schematics of his aircraft along with some information she never dreamed she would get access to. There were a few redacted bits of information, but it was still exciting. "Oh my god," she moaned as Jake held out a sharpened pencil and a graphing calculator for her. "Where did you get this?" she asked, completely stunned as she opened the calculator that cost several hundred dollars. It was exactly like the one she kept in her desk drawer in her office.

"Bradshaw's wife told me which one to buy," he muttered, but she cut off his words as she pulled him closer with her hands around his waist. She felt the desire to take him back to his bed now that both of them seemed to have got past the jitters from earlier. But as she kissed him, she realized he made it a point to bring home exactly what she wanted, and he even bought her favorite kind of calculator. More sex could wait until after this foreplay.

"You're so sweet," she said against his lips as she spread her legs wide, letting him stand between them. 

He was drawing little circles on her bare thighs with both hands as he smiled against her lips before pulling back a few inches. He kept one hand on her leg and tapped the page with his index finger. "You're gonna need the new velocity values right here and right here," he said, moving his finger down the page to the redacted parts. "Lucky for you, I'm a little quicker than the Admirals. I memorized them from the projected lecture notes."

She liked it when he sounded a little cocky and smirked as if he was too good to be true. Maybe he was. As he continued to rub along the top of her thigh, Jessica asked, "Will you tell me? So I can work out the math?"

He licked his lips. Why was she so turned on? He kissed her, and she wanted him to take her on the kitchen island. "Yeah, I'll tell you, Smart Girl," he promised, his voice sounding a little harsh as he whispered two different numbers to her. 

Jessica scribbled them down and whimpered softly. When she opened the calculator and started to solve some elaborate formulas, Jake stood behind her and watched with his chin resting on her shoulder. She filled the margins with her calculations, and the occasional brush of his lips on her neck left her needing to recheck her math. 

After working at it a bit, she was close to solving for the maximum speed of the aircraft versus the speed of sound. And Jake's kisses were growing more persistent along the collar of the Longhorns shirt. "Oh," she sighed softly. 

"You almost done, Reedy?" he whispered. "As much fun as this is to watch, I'd like to get my hands on you again."

Her eyes fluttered closed before she could enter her final calculation and solve everything. "Are you turned on right now?" she asked him.

Jake grunted, his hands soft on her shoulders as his lips found the shell of her ear. "Been a little turned on since I first saw you in a pair of high heels being smarter than everyone else in a lecture hall full of physicists."

All she could feel was the clench of desire when his lips barely moved along her skin. Her limbs felt too heavy, and everything was moving in slow motion as her brain finally figured out what to type into the calculator. "Mach 2.0587," she moaned. "That's how fast you'll safely be able to go with the new interface updates."

Jake spun the stool around, and she had to brace her hands on his abs while he devoured her mouth. She wasn't nervous now, and he wasn't hesitating this time as she slid off the stool, her body rubbing along his erection. In an instant she had her hands inside his briefs, still amazed by how thick he was, and her lips brushed his chest hair. 

The sound she made left her blushing as she tugged down his underwear. Jake stepped out of them and got his hands underneath the Longhorns shirt and on her butt. She had to grip his shoulders as he easily lifted her up. "On the couch?" he asked. 

"Yeah," she agreed with a needy moan as her clit pressed snug against his cock.

--------------------------------

With Jessica's knees planted on the couch cushion and her hands on the arm, Jake could fully appreciate the freedom afforded by skipping a condom. He was kissing along her ass and lower back, his Longhorns shirt pushed up nearly to her shoulders. "Please," she whined, leaning further over the couch arm and wiggling her rear end enticingly. 

He bit her gently, and she squeaked for him before turning her head and gasping. He'd been thinking about a horny couch quickie for a week, and now he was about to get it. Well, maybe not too quick. 

"Jake," she whined when he ran his fingers through her slick and then coated up his cock.

His hand was wet and sticky as he placed it on her lower back and slid himself slowly inside her tight, little pussy. "Wouldn't have taken you for the impatient type," he muttered as her back arched beautifully for him. He went slow, watching the way she gripped his length and listening for her gasp of breath when he bottomed out. "Shit." He pushed a little harder and then stayed put, brushing his fingers along her ass. She took him so well, her hands scrambling on the couch upholstery for purchase as he asked, "Ready?"

"Yes," she whispered, her voice already sounding broken as he leaned over top of her and braced his hands next to hers. 

With a soft kiss to her cheek, he murmured, "Okay, Baby," and then he withdrew a few inches and thrust hard. The snap of his hips had her arching her back again, the back of her head pressed to his shoulder. He rocked into her a few more times just like that, pleased when she got louder. 

He fucked her hard, gasping and moaning her name, and she didn't back down at all. Her body met his each time. At first, he thought this was something he needed to get out of his system, but her body was made for this. Made to be bent over the couch or her desk or his truck tailgate. Taking him hard. He could imagine it everywhere, always feeling this good as he fucked her with his lips on her ear. 

"A little harder?" he managed to ask when his balls started to grow tight. He knew he could make it sweet later, but she was responding beautifully to this. 

"Yeah," she grunted, and he caught her swaying breasts in both hands. The feel of them in his palms, bouncing in time with his quick thrusts left him with a smile on his face as Jessica came for him. Her face was buried in her folded arms, and her pussy was clenching. 

"Holy shit." he pushed himself deep and let her milk him until he was shaking and grabbing her tits a little harder. She whimpered, still fluttering around him as she lifted her head and looked at him. Her glasses were crooked, she looked shocked, and he was about to be rewarded with another pretty creampie to look at. He could get used to Saturdays like this.

He withdrew, his cock still hard as she panted to catch her breath, and he watched his cum ooze and drip, catching it with his hand. "Jessica," he whispered, bringing his palm up to meet her pussy and rubbing gently. She bucked and made a sound. "So pretty." 

He could tell that her body was still a little sensitive as she curled up on his lap with her cheek on his shoulder. He rubbed his sticky hand along her thigh as she played with his chest hair. When she kissed his neck, he whispered, "I hope I wasn't too rough."

"No. Not at all. It felt good."

He let his head tip back. "Been thinking about that for a week, and my imagination must fucking suck. Or you're just that good for me."

She laughed softly. "I'm probably just very good."

---------------------------

Jessica had never had bruschetta chicken before. When Jake pulled it out of the oven, she tried to eat it right away, but he told her to wait while he grated cheese on the top. He'd been catering to her all afternoon and evening though, so they ended up eating it right out of the casserole dish while standing at the counter after she said she was hungry. 

"It's so good," she moaned between mouthfuls. 

"I'll send the rest home with you tomorrow. You can take it for lunch on Monday."

The weekend wasn't even over yet, but it was getting a little late as she ate another bite of dinner. She wanted to know if their routine would keep going. "Are you planning on stopping by my office hours this week?"

Jake tipped her chin up and kissed her lips softly. "How else am I gonna get new journals to read and visit my girlfriend at the same time? Or are you going to be too busy skateboarding?"

She kissed him back. "Luca wants me to go surfing next."

"Luca wants to see you in a bathing suit," he replied with a grin. 

"No! I'm his favorite teacher!" she protested with a laugh. 

"Yeah. I'm sure you're his favorite teacher for a whole variety of reasons, Baby." He ran his hands up and down her body as she ate another bite of dinner. "You're a good teacher and you're fucking hot as sin."

Jake was trying to playfully lure her away from the casserole dish, but she kept slipping out of his grasp to take another bite. "As soon as I learned you could cook, you were golden," she murmured as she took one more bite before he carried her to the bedroom over his shoulder. "I haven't had a boyfriend in so long, because what's the point if you're not getting fed after getting fucked?"

"That's a valid question," he said, taking her into his bathroom. He turned on the shower and walked around collecting fresh towels with her draped casually over his bicep. "But I will say, there's an excellent chance that I'll cook you anything you want for breakfast tomorrow. Even if we don't fuck again. You could probably even get a midnight snack out of me."

He set her down gently and patted her butt before she handed him her glasses and stepped under the warm shower spray with a little shiver. "You want me to get something out for you to wear to bed?" he asked, but she shook her head and reached for him. 

Jessica pulled him in the shower with her as she said, "No, I want you in here." With soapy hands, they explored each other's bodies, and it didn't feel overly sexual. Sure, Jake's hands were everywhere, and his cock was halfway at attention, but his hands weren't rough like when they had sex on the couch. And he wasn't pushing for more. She just made out with him and then let him wash her hair. 

"Feel good?" he asked, massaging his strong fingers along her scalp as she melted back against him. 

"Yeah," she whispered in the softest voice, afraid to break the spell they were under where he kept kissing her and calling her his Smart Girl. Once they were finally out of the shower, only because it was starting to turn cold, Jake wrapped her up in a towel. 

"Sure you don't want something to sleep in, Jess? It's a little chilly in here."

"I brought pajamas," she murmured, kneeling to dig in her overnight bag. "Pick a color: blue or pink." When he didn't answer right away, she turned to look up at him as she wrapped her towel around herself a little tighter. "Do you have a preference?" 

He looked like he was in a daze as he watched her fingers glide along the two lace and silk options in her bag. "Blue," he whispered, and she stood with the royal blue nightie in her hands. Jake watched her every movement as she towel dried her hair and then slipped into her pajamas for the night. "Can I see the pink, too?" he asked, his voice strained. 

"Maybe next time," she replied with a smile. 

"Did you pack those just for me?"

She threw her towel at him and climbed into bed. "I always wear things like this to sleep."

"You do?" His cheeks looked pink as he tossed his towel and hers into the hamper. Then he was in bed with her, pinning her wrists above her head in one big hand. "And they all look like this? With little bows and lace all over?"

"Yeah," she whispered, turning her head to the side when he nudged her cheek with his nose. 

"I thought you just bought that little green set to hide under your work clothes and tease me with." He kissed her ear as she sighed. 

"Well, I kind of did, but I collect lingerie," she replied, and instantly Jake was flat on his back next to her with his hands over his eyes. "What?" she asked, sitting up as she laughed. "Is that weird?"

"Weird?" he croaked. "No, weird isn't the right word for it." He rubbed his eyes and groaned before peeking through his fingers. "I won't survive this."

She looked down at the soft blue lace and then looked back at him. "Why not?"

Jake tugged on her arm until she was laying on top of him. He rubbed his hands up and down her back and over her butt. "Because it's like wrapping paper, Baby. It's like the gift I've always wanted to receive is all wrapped up in the prettiest paper and then given to me to unwrap and enjoy."

She looked down at him with one raised eyebrow and softly parted lips. Nobody had ever described her like that before, not in such a beautiful way. Her closet was filled with lace, satin, silk, leather and chiffon, but she hadn't really shown it off before. Not like she wanted to right now. She wanted to let Jake dress her up how he liked, and then she wanted to take absolute control over him. He ran his fingers through her damp hair and looked up at her, his pupils blown wide, and she sat back on his cock to find him hard.

"Again?" she asked softly. 

When he nodded, she positioned herself to take him while he started to unwrap his present.

-------------------------

Monday morning came too early, and when it did, Jessica woke up alone in her bed and sighed. Jake dropped her off late last night. Like very late. And after spending the night in his warm bed with him on Saturday, last night had been a restless sleep. She wanted to invite him in to play dress up in her closet, but she knew they both needed some sleep for the work week. So he only came inside long enough for a tour of her apartment and a hot little makeout before he filled her refrigerator with individual containers of leftovers. And then she sent him home with the containers from last week's food that she'd washed and set aside for him. 

But she knew she wouldn't see him again until Tuesday, so she phoned in her hair and make up on Monday morning. What was the point? She was already dreading her agenda for the day. There was a faculty meeting run by Brian and then another damn meeting about alumni weekend which was just a few days away. And then she had to finalize everything for the fundraiser by making five phone calls.

Once she dropped her things in her office, she made her way to the faculty meeting with one minute to spare. She could tell that Brian desperately wanted to call her out for being late, but when Dr. Leeland came hustling in right behind her, out of breath and sweating, Brian turned away from her. 

"Morning, Benson," she said to Dr. Leeland in a pleasant voice as she held the door open for him. 

"Jessica," he grunted with a half smile as he headed for a seat in the front. Jessica slipped into the back row and sipped her coffee while forcing herself to focus on Brian's words instead of daydreaming about Jake. She couldn't afford to draw too much attention to herself since she had the second meeting about alumni weekend with Brian right after this one. 

She just sat very still, and whenever his eyes landed on hers, she braced herself for him to make a comment about skateboarding with Luca and professionalism in the workplace. But it never came. She let out a sigh of relief as the meeting ended and everyone else filed out. She remained in her seat, waiting for everyone else from the science department who was involved in alumni weekend to filter in.

Brian was pretending to ignore her as she flipped through the red notebook of lecture notes she brought with her. He was standing at the podium silently when the door opened up and one of his teaching assistants rushed in. Jessica recognized her from the classrooms and the occasional meeting, and right now she was calling out Brian's name and running right to his arms. 

"Not right now," Jessica heard Brian say, his piercing eyes landing on her as he pushed his TA away from him. 

"But my lab is about to start, and I'm not going to see you later," the younger woman whined playfully as Brian tried to back away from her. Jessica felt sick as she loudly cleared her throat. Then she had two sets of eyes focused on her and her red notebook. The other woman looked a little frantic, but Jessica kept her expression completely neutral. There were already enough rumors circulating about her, and she certainly didn't want to propagate any more by stirring Brian up. 

"We can discuss your lab schedule later, Miss Turner." Brian's voice was filled with so much finality, the other woman left the room without another word. 

Jessica literally had to bite her tongue as she looked at him, and just when Brian opened his mouth to say something, Dr. Jenkins from the biology department walked in wearing one of his hideous sweater vests, and she couldn't have been happier to see him. 

--------------------------

On Tuesday, Jessica took a deep breath as she held her lunch container filled with bruschetta chicken in one hand and her fork and water bottle in the other. She thought it was okay to just stop by, but maybe she should have texted first? She knocked on the door before she could change her mind. Then she heard clamoring inside followed by more than once voice, and it sounded like someone was dragging furniture across the floor. 

When the door opened a few inches, and she saw her friend's startled eyes, Jessica said, "If you're busy, I can come back."

"Oh. It's you," Advanced Calculus sighed deeply with a look of instant relief on her face. Then she opened the door wider and glanced behind her, and Jessica's gaze shifted to the interior of her office where Bradley was quickly tucking his uniform shirt into his uniform pants. His cheeks were flushed, but he had a grin on his face. 

"Hey, Jessica," he murmured, grabbing his keys and phone from the desk. "I was just leaving," he added before bending to give his wife a filthy kiss. "I'll pick you up after your last lecture, Sugar."

"Bye," she replied softly, gently pushing her husband through the door as he nodded at Jessica. 

"I'm so sorry, I had no idea I was interrupting-"

"You weren't," the other woman said as she tried to hide her smile. "He just had his lunch hour free today and.... wanted to visit."

Jessica still stood frozen, unsure what she should do. She gestured behind her and said, "I could just go back to my office."

Her friend scoffed. "We're done now, so you might as well just come in."

"Okay," Jessica replied with a smile of her own. "I just didn't know I was going to be interrupting a quickie. I'll text you next time."

Instead of responding, Advanced Calculus just sat down with a coy smile and asked, "What did Jake make you for lunch today?"

Jessica held up the container that she just heated up in her office. "It's the bruschetta chicken from Saturday night."

She laughed and held up a container of her own. "Bradley made the same thing. Should we compare recipes?"

"Oh! Absolutely," Jessica agreed right away. A few bites in, and both of them were looking from container to container, unsure which one was the winner. "I like both of them."

"Me too," she replied, taking another bite of Jake's. "Does he use panko breadcrumbs?"

"I think so. Does Bradley use oregano and rosemary?"

"Probably. I can't really tell them apart." 

They both erupted into laughter. 

"So are you ready for your fundraiser on Saturday night?"

Jessica finished the last bite of lunch and sighed. "Almost. I'm going to the fraternity house to meet with the boys tomorrow night. They rented the tuxedos. The culinary students are making the food. Bradley's bringing the kegs. Dev emailed me and said he'd donate things for the silent auction. I'm just nervous."

"You shouldn't be," she replied. "It'll be perfect. You spent a lot of time on this."

Jessica shook her head. "I just feel like my future at this school depends on it. Like if I fuck this up, I'll never get tenure."

And then Jessica felt a bit like she was under a microscope. "And Brian Conley is in charge of your tenure?"

"Yes," she replied softly as she looked up at the other woman's gaze.

But she was only met with kindness in the form of sympathetic eyes and a soft smile. "So what's the deal with you and him anyway?"

Jessica knew there had been rumors circulating for months, but maybe now she finally had people in her life who would believe her when she told them what happened. "How much time do you have?"

------------------------

She's confiding in Sugar! And both girls had the quickie of their dreams with their dream guys. Thanks to @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

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