So Once Me And My Wife Were Watching A Documentary Where A Snake Ate Like A Million Eggs. That Snake

so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

Today's daily male is Gabriel from ULTRAKILL!

for @incaseofemergencydial411

Slime girl that's so so scary and clearly just used someone's blood and bile and other bodily fluids to sustain her gelatinous form and she approaches me and I think oh God I'm next but instead she holds my hand and is super nice. And then I think oh God she's just being cute and affectionate so that next time she's hungry I'll be an easy mark but a few days later when she's smaller and clearly lacking in fluids she just sort of shyly snuggles me while trying to lick up my sweat while I'm not looking even though she's clearly powerful enough to subdue and goo-ify a whole person. What the hell

omg anon... i think you're married. start cumming in your slime wife already. or feed her some rando

The Narrator: The players are shipping us, Stanley. Stanley: To where?

good morning i have been working on this for longer than i’d like to admit

Caesar’s Legion but Mean Girls!!!

I have more ideas I wana draw 👀