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Got around to reading the Nimona comic and I fucking love the differences in everyone. Movie Ballisters like "this is my boyfriend Ambrosius, we're in a bit of a rough patch but still love one another. Nimona's my daughter, she's really grown on me and we hang out together and have fun."

Comic it's like "this is Ambrosius, this fucker is my ex and he took my house, dog, and arm in the divorce. This is Nimona, she's the serial killer I treat as a daughter to pretend I'm not depressed as fuck, but also so she doesn't kill more innocents"

Nimona: [watching Ballister getting arrested after saying he won't be getting arrested]

Nimona: What an absolute fucking idiot

Nimona: I can’t believe I’d die for him

Ah yes, my favorite movie and my favorite characters, Pneumonia, Salad Goodatsex, and Staircase Braveman, or, if you're partial to the comic version, Staircase Evilman

Ballister: I would die for you

Nimona: I would kill for you

Ballister: ...Nimona

Nimona: I’ve killed so many people for you already

Ballister: Oh my god-

I think Todd plays a more important role in Nimona than just to be the annoying bully for viewers to hate. His overt bad behavior removes any possible rational basis someone could claim for the Director's absolute faith in the superiority of the noble class as knights.

Without Todd, the only other high status knight we'd get to know is Ambrosius, who, for all his faults, is still largely the kind of upstanding person knights are "supposed" to be. Without Todd, it would be possible to imagine a world where the Director has only ever worked with knights like Ambrosius and thus is perhaps naive.

But instead we have Todd, openly acting terrible in a way the Director can't miss, indeed, she *doesn't* miss it, even commenting on his behavior directly, and yet her faith in the system and her distrust of commoners doesn't change.

Todd exists to show how evidence alone doesn't hold up to blind faith and fear of others. And this makes sense. The world of Nimona isn't a metaphor for America as a whole, but for the America that exists under evangelical and fundamentalist Christianity, which rejects reason and openness to others and the possibility that it might be wrong, instead favoring obedience to tradition and heirarchy and conclusions-first reasoning. Todd's existence reveals through the Director just how dangerous valuing faith and belief above all else can be.

Everybody likes the line from Nimona "If you don't then you're going to die in this closet!" bc it's a funny little queer joke but I think that Ballister's response is actually more interesting.

He says, "Die?" and you can see on his face he has no idea what she's talking about. This is the first time that he's actually being confronted with the fact that there will be no mercy shown for him. He thinks if he talks to Ambrosius or the Director they can work something out, but Nimona knows better. It takes him half of the movie to figure this out but I think this line does a good job of demonstrating how he's thinking of the situation.

They're literally chopping down the door behind him, nearly hitting his head with axes, and he's still convinced that they wouldn't kill him if given the chance

“I’d kill for you. Please ask me to kill for you.” “No.” Is a top tier ship dynamic no I do not take criticism

Thinking about how Ballister who was forced into a quiet, submissive role where he had to walk on eggshells and always be Perfect, bonded with two goofy, assertive and Loud people and how both of them bring out the real him and help him feel safe and seen in a world that wants him to be invisible

No but Ambrosius and Ballister having completely different love languages, so they're trying to flirt, but neither of them picks up on the other person flirting

Ballister grew up in a world where no one ever helped you out, so to him the biggest display of care and the way he mainly shows love is through acts of service, figuring his actions will say much more than his words ever will. He's bringing Ambrosius lunch, helping him carry his training equipment and all that sort of stuff

Meanwhile Ambrosius grew up with everything handed to him before he could even ask for it or want it while never really having much of an emotional connection before he met Ballister, so he shows his love through his words and physical touch. He's constantly complimenting Ballister, telling him how much he admires and cares about him and constantly giving him hugs and snuggling him

They don't realize the other loves them back that way until one day Ballister is sick with the flu and Ambrosius brings him soup. And in his fever ridden brain Bal is like 'oooh, love :)' and so without thinking he goes "I love you too" xbxhxb

Rip Ambrosius Goldenloin, you would've loved to be a cringe theater kid who developed a crush on the awkward, dark-haired guy working the light and stage effects while being stuck having to kiss the pink-haired lesbian playing your love interest who's at least twice as mad about this arrangement, 'cause 1) she wanted to be the dragon and 2) she would rather kiss your cousin, but Glorith didn't show up for the audition despite promising to come

Thinking a lot about the class difference between Ambrosius and Ballister and how despite their best efforts to avoid it, it definitely does make Ballister feel automatically inferior

How despite the hardships of the constant pressure of expectations in the spotlight that Ambrosius face, Ballister still can't help but envy him when Ambrosius has moments where it becomes glaringly clear just how different his position in life is to Ballister's, simply because of his family heritage

How Ambrosius is very humble and aware of his privilege, but even so he still has his moments of ignorance or entitlement and how despite loving him dearly Ballister can't help but feel repulsed for a good while afterwards, because being reminded that Ambrosius had more in common with all the people who look down on Ballister than he has in common with Ballister is... a lot

How Ballister wants to scream when Ambrosius seems to simplify and minimize the struggles of the lower class people, because he simply can't Understand the true level of injustice going on. It's so far removed from his world that despite being open minded and very empathetic, he can't seem to wrap his head around it

How it doesn't happen often... the fear of it happening is more prevalent than the incidents. But when Ballister is framed for killing the Queen and Ambrosius is made captain and charged with hunting Ballister, the incidents suddenly start to feel a lot more Heavy... present. Suddenly it feels as if that's all their relationship ever consisted of and Ballister is finding himself wondering if he was really so blind that he missed the fact that his best friend and boyfriend was just as ignorant and self centered as everyone else

I just... obviously they'd figure it out, but I feel like their conflict would probably end up ripping up some new issues for them and some repressed, subconscious feelings for Ballister... and having the Director constantly whispering in his ear def gave Ambrosius some subconscious biases and even internalized shit he needs to work through

I don't think we show enough appreciation for the fact that we ended up with this version of Goldheart for the movie and not

When Ambrosius gets sick he'll vanish completely, never to be found and especially not seen until he's 100% back to health

When Ballister is sick he'll act like nothing is different. Going about his day as usual, working hard as ever and never letting anyone be none the wiser about his current state

Both of them developed these defense mechanisms in early childhood and it kinda just stuck... Ballister is the only person Ambrosius will allow to see him while sick and Ambrosius is the only person who Ballister will allow to see when he's struggling

When they start to repair their relationship after the fall of the wall, Ambrosius watches Ballister push on as if the heartbreak and injuries are nothing - knowing very well that this doesn't mean that Ballister is okay, but that Ballister doesn't trust him enough to be vulnerable around him

Meanwhile, Ballister notices how Ambrosius will disappear for hours on end - claiming to be busy, but never telling of a single task he's busy with. And he knows that Ambrosius is too ashamed to be seen while struggling

Honestly, I feel like Ballister and Ambrosius were probably somewhat codependent on each other before the events of the movie. Not even entirely by choice, but as a result of them both being each other's only friend. Neither of them seem to be particularly close with anyone else, especially not any parental figures, save for the Director. They're both used to the other being the only person they can rely on and they're both used to being the only person the other can rely on

We see Ballister's only solution for the first half of the movie simply being; find Ambrosius. Problem solved! Likewise, Ambrosius immediately jumps into action to protect Ballister, just like he always tries to. We also see him getting jealous and hurt when he realizes Ballister now has someone else to protect him

Ballister needs Ambrosius and Ambrosius needs to feel needed (and most definitely vise versa). This is definitely a dynamic that has been necessary for their survival through their youth, but after the events of the movie it'll definitely become a challenge they need to tackle to become more independent and closer

Idk if any of that makes proper sense, I'm super tired, but like it has just been on my mind lately

Find it so funny that Ambrosius sees his boo get a new bestie and as soon as he has a reason to get rid of her he's like "let's murder her - together!" Like, Ambrosius babe, that's the opposite of romantic...

Ambrosius: Oh oops, when I invited you to sleep over I completely forgot I only have one bed haha! My bad 🤭

Ballister: Oh, that's okay. The orphanage prioritized bed spots for the kids who got placed there with a payment, so the rest of us had to sleep on the floor - your floor is at least warm and clean! :D

Ambrosius: ...

Ambrosius, choking up: Bal, please just get into the damn bed so I can hug you, 'cause WHAT THE FUCK?!!

No but Ambrosius is so clearly an impulsive guy who always acts before he thinks, especially when there's big emotions involved. How many times did Ballister tell him to think before he acts? Ambrosius isn't sure, but as he watched Ballister's arm fall to the floor, he really wished he had taken the advice to heart

One time when they were kids, Ambrosius gave Ballister a gag gift as a joke, but Ballister ended up unironically loving it. It was the first time in a very long time when he had recieved a gift from someone at all. Meanwhile, seeing Ballister's reaction has Ambrosius suddenly grasping over the concept of privilege and now he feels very awkward about the whole thing

Like, I don't even think Ambrosius was being mean here, just teasing his friend in a good-natured way. But Bal just ended up being way too emotional over it

Do you ever think about how when Ambrosius first befriended Ballister, Ballister probably worried he was being pranked and that it was all some elaborate joke? A fear that resurfaced when Ambrosius first asked him out, but both times he put the fear on the shelf and told himself Ambrosius wasn't like that

Then Ambrosius cut off his arm, took the lead on hunting Ballister down and raised his sword at Ballister's pleas for help... and suddenly it seems very likely that Ambrosius was like that

"Did I ever mean anything to you? Or was it all just a lie?"

No but I'm absolutely obsessed with the concept of Amb and Bal not really hanging out much until their teen years and then it's still mostly surface level and quick convos during class work and Ambrosius is like wanting Bal to hang out with his friend group so badly, but obv they're a bunch of jerks (fucking Todd is part of it, need I say more) sorta like that episode in season 1 of Heartstopper

I feel like Ambrosius is the type of person who would fall over his own feet trying so hard to not make Ballister uncomfortable when they first started dating or even when they were still just friends

Like he's aware there's quite a power imbalance and that he could easily get Ballister in a world of trouble. He's also aware that their monetary situations are completely different and he knows most people are throwing their wealth in Ballister's face... so he's just trying to balance avoiding to seem entitled with his constant urge to just give Ballister the whole world, 'cause quite frankly he can afford to and doesn't have anything better to spend his money on - but how does he explain that without coming off like a rich asshole??!

Thinking a lot about how the characters are portrayed by the media vs by personal photos

? I found this and I don't know what the point was but here it is, you can imagine whatever you want in Ambrosius' part

realizing just why bal was so upset that ambrosius couldn't believe him when nimona could.

within MINUTES of knowing him, nimona realized he wasn't a villain because

1. he said he wasnt

2. he was clearly extremely distressed about being called one and extremely loyal to the institute.

that's all it took for her to go, yeahhh no this guys nothing like they said, why did I get stuck with the one villain who wouldn't WANT to be a villain?

but ambrosius couldn't come to the conclusion he couldn't be the queen killer when they'd known each other for their whole *lives.* a random stranger who he wasn't even very nice to at first could believe that he wasn't a villain, but the man he'd known his entire life couldn't.

that would've fucking GUTTED him.