The Audacity Of This Webbed Site To Advertise "Monopoly Go" To Me.

The audacity of this webbed site to advertise "Monopoly Go" to me.

1. Advertisers and those who concoct them in their black laboratories should hunted down and biblically sorted.

2. Monopoly sucks so much it's hard to even describe - the epitome of a random number generator game. The decisions one makes, even in its original, intended form, are so hamstrung as to be nonexistent. I could fend one human against three dice rolling bingo machines and the human would win about 1 in 4 times.

3. How is it possible that the most anti-capitalist board game on the planet not made by a 24-year-old from a Seattle commune has become synonymous with multimedia advertisement? I can go out and buy Star Wars monopoly, Pokémon monopoly, Monopoly Monopoly, there's a monopoly where you're allowed to cheat, there's one where you can spend $300 dollars for bespoke monopoly, and in a cruel twist of irony, there's even socialist monopoly. The game isn't even good! Who the fuck is playing this much monopoly?

4. I wanna touch back on 1. again, fuck advertisers. If you make corporate advertisements for a living it's on SIGHT.

5. I will bite you like a dog or other lesser beast

6. Monopoly as a game should not exist. If Hasbro goes under I will dance on the grave of brightly colored money and shitty tin hats.