Yes Yess This Is So Good! (3

yes yess this is so good! (⁠ʃ⁠ƪ⁠＾⁠3⁠＾⁠）

Long live the Emperor …

synopsis — he was a very jealous man and he would do anything to send his message. you were his and he would make sure everyone knew who you belonged to.

warning - nsfw, dubcon, arranged marriage, public sex, throne sex, cock warming

shameful. it’s a shameful display of power and greed and no one dares to say a word. the court has been in session for what felt like hours with many people passing through with important requests for the emperor.

their voices are low and some even stutter, scared to look away but even more afraid to anger their emperor if they dare look at his royal consort.

“you may speak” he says, his voice as steady as any other day only that he has his beautiful wife on his lap in a thin sheer robe that leaves little to the imagination despite how long it is. it’s a beautiful shade of green, see-through and no doubt only appropriate for your private quarters.

you’re beautiful with the finest jewellery fit for the royal consort and despite your obvious discomfort and embarrassment, you know you can’t move. his cock is buried deep inside you and if you were to move, it sends a shiver up your spine that you want to hate. your husband has no respect for you privacy at all, wanting to make a point to all the men who stare at you. you belonged to him and he didn’t care if you were young and new to this side of the world.

you had just turned 18 and your father had promised you to him and no matter how much you begged and pleaded with him, he forced you to marry the emperor and now you were being shown off like some prize in front of everyone.

“m-my king” the man below speaks, but his unable to look at the king in the eye so he keeps his eyes downcast, his cheeks are red and so are his ears. you want to feel sorry for the poor old man but you saw the way he looked at you when he first entered and he was no different than anyone else in the court.

“speak up!” ran shouts, “if you’re here to waste my time, then my guards can see you out”

“i’ve come to ask for h-help” the man clears his throat, “my people, we have been struggling with-”

the man can barely get his words out and it’s so obvious that the king is bored. he helps his people and his not a selfish man but he’s very different with you and it’s clear that the people have angered him enough to push him this far. he circles his hips and grips your waist.

you can’t hide the shame that fills you the moment you moan, your mouth falling open in surprise as he thrusts up into you. his cock is big and even though you had become well acquainted on your wedding night, it was still difficult to get used to something so thick.

there are whispers throughout the court and you don’t have to see the king’s face to know he’s smirking. the smug bastard knew exactly what he was doing and he would do it again to send the message across.

you belonged to him.

moonlight sonata.

★ pairing: toji x reader

☽ summary: you’re not one of toji’s regrets.

★ genre: pure fucking fluff

☽ warnings: some curse words but thats it

★ a/n: another blurb until i finally finish the geto fic i’m writing. this is like totally self indulgent but i’m sharing anyway hehe. as always, ur likes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated. enjoy.

“can you tell me a secret?” you ask, your hand smoothing back and forth across his chest as you lay alongside him.

the night is thick and you can’t see anything around you, but you can feel the steady rise and fall of his chest beneath your cheek. you know it’s definitely ridiculous just how much you bug him, knowing that he’s an old man with a rotting conscience, but you can’t help it. especially when he gives you a look that says: “i’m too fucking old for this.” it’s your favorite past-time now and you don’t feel guilty about it. not even a little bit.

“secret?” he groans, nudging his chin against the top of your head. “what kinda secret?”

“any kind, toji, i don’t care.”

“i don’t have any secrets, y/n,” he states. “unless we’re talkin’ about you.”

you laugh, slapping his torso. “don’t humor me, toji. you’re an open book when it comes to me.”

“you’re actually a pain in my fuckin’ ass.”

“yeah well,” you smile, patting him. “you should’ve killed me when you had the chance. now you’re stuck with an uppity bitch that fixes you oatmeal for breakfast. cinnamon oatmeal.”

he makes a gruff sound. “dear god, don’t remind me of that shit again. you tried to poison me.”

“i sure did. and now you’re stuck with me.”

“i have regrets,” he sighs a minute later but his arms squeeze you closer to him, nevertheless. “seriously. i got no secrets, baby. just regrets and mistakes.”

“and i’m one of them?” you joke, even though your heart clenches.

he presses a fleeting kiss to your forehead before he’s tilting your chin up towards him. he can’t see you but he doesn’t need to to know that your eyes are still looking up at him like they always are.

“never,” he whispers, lips hovering above yours. “you could never be one of ‘em.”

© cacophonies 2022

and this is how i met your mother kids..

𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 — college football player!eren.

୨୧ ꒰ warnings ꒱ smut (mdni), virginity loss (fem), eren has a big dick (but we knew that), college!au, mentions of playboy eren (but he falls head over heels for you), pet names (baby), f!reader, fingering, cursing

୨୧ ꒰ word count ꒱ 1.2k 

college football player!eren who’s known to be a bit of a playboy - but how could he not be? the most popular guy at paradis university and the star quarterback of the football team. eren had girls at his beck and call, his confidence and charisma radiating off of him in waves. he naturally drew people to him; one lopsided grin shot in their direction, and people would be flocking to him, completely enamored with his carefree and easygoing personality. eren jaeger was the university sweetheart, jumping from girl to girl but still managing to be so kind and sweet. it has girls’ hearts fluttering and their panties soaked. so imagine his surprise when the flirtatious eren jaeger, known playboy of the school, fell for you.

college football player!eren who’d recognized you as soon as he laid eyes on you in class one morning; they were mundane interactions, that he’d recognized you from: passing by in the hallway, seeing you laugh with your friends at the outdoor quad, sitting two rows in front of him in your chemistry class. however, somewhere along the line, eren had found himself hopelessly pining after you, desperate for those small interactions where you dropped your pencil and he just so happened to graciously pick it up for you. somewhere along the line, eren jaeger fell for you, and he fell for you hard.

Keep reading

Chaing your wallpaper to an ugly pic of them and not telling <3

𝐉𝐔𝐉𝐔𝐓𝐒𝐔 𝐊𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐍 + 𝐒𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐏𝐀𝐏𝐄𝐑 𝐀𝐒 𝐀𝐍 𝐔𝐆𝐋𝐘 𝐏𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐎 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌

☰ CHARACTERS ⋮ gojo satoru, geto suguru, fushiguro toji, itadori yuji, fushiguro megumi

— contents ⋮ fluff + sfw, slightly suggestive at toji’s — minors do not follow me though i’m an 18+ blog

— notes ⋮ THIS IS SUCH A CUTE IDEA

𖧷 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 

gojo has never seen a bad picture of himself before—not until now, at least. he stares at the picture on your lock screen in pure shock, grimacing slightly at how his lips are parted and his cheek is smooshed against your chest. he even thinks that’s a tiny bit of drool on his lips, and he stares at you with narrowed eyes and a pout. 

“sweetheart, you have to change this picture,” he whines, “if megumi sees this he’ll be so mean—you have no idea how mean kids his age can be, it’s ridiculous!”

“what’s ridiculous is you getting hurt over a kid in the first place,” you snort, smiling fondly at the image on your phone. gojo looks relaxed for once, nestled comfortably against your chest as his body drapes over yours—you’d snapped the picture as blackmail at first, but the soft flush of his cheeks and the slight crinkle on his nose makes you rethink if it was ever ugly to be blackmail in the first place. 

“hey! you’re just as rude,” he huffs, “are you hanging out with him more? he’ll be mean to you too, just watch. and then i’ll—”

“you look cute, toru,” you hum, smiling gently as you stare at the photo. he blinks at the way your eyes soften as they fix on him through the screen, and he thinks for a moment that maybe there’s not one bad photo of him after all. 

“yeah, you’re right. only i could make drooling adorable,” he grins smugly, plopping himself to lay on your chest, sighing quietly when your fingers thread through his hair. 

“besides, megumi already has the photo.”

𖧷 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎

“what is this?” geto demands, showing you your lock screen. he’d only went to check the time, but the sight waiting for him was almost a jumpscare if he’s ever seen one—and of his own face, no less. giggling, you take the phone from him, admiring your handy work. 

“it’s a picture,” you grin cheekily, making him roll his eyes as he glares at you. it’s a horrendous picture, and he wants you to change it. immediately. his hair is a mess—and geto suguru takes his hair rather seriously. 

“i can see that, genius,” he says flatly, “but why is it your lock screen? change it,” he demands, crossing his arms and pulling away when you try to wrap your arms around his neck. whining, you tug at his bicep, pouting at him to let you cling against his body, but he only pulls away as he narrows his eyes at you.

“but suguru, it’s so cute!”

“it’s hideous,” he grunts, lips curling in disgust.

“yeah and oddly cute,” you argue, poking his cheek. you giggle once more, grinning in victory when he caves and wraps his arms around your waist. he gives your ass a slight squeeze, chuckling when you gasp and swat at his shoulder. 

“wait till i get a bad picture of you,” he grumbles, “see if you think it’s cute then.”

𖧷 𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈

“the fuck is this?” toji demands gruffly, eyebrow raised as he waits for your answer. turning your face away from him with a hmph, you promptly ignore him, which makes his eyes narrow. 

every time you and toji have a slight disagreement, it becomes your mission to become the bane of his existence—like right now, for example. last night’s argument has been your excuse to slowly drive him insane, and this picture is your new attempt. 

and so is the silent treatment. 

“think i asked a question, doll,” he scowls, “what is up with this photo? it’s hideous. ”

“would you rather i use another man’s photo for my lock screen then?” you raise a brow, crossing your arms as you finally turn to look at him. he glares at you, as though even just the idea is an insult. “you’re lucky the picture’s still you after last night,” you say flatly. 

toji is as stubborn as you, however, so he blinks for a moment before a lopsided smirk tugs at his scarred lips, a casual shrug falling off his shoulders as he hums. 

“alright,” he says smoothly, “i’ll just have to use a picture from the other night to settle the score,” he grins, watching as your eyes widen when you register his words. scowling, you poke a finger at his chest as you glare at him. 

“you’d better not! don’t you dare even think about using such obscene—”

“then i think you should start bein’ a bit nicer to me, doll,” he says, voice husky as his lips hover over your mouth, “cause i got plenty of pictures i’m dyin’ to use,” he grins before pressing his lips to yours as your breath hitches in your throat. 

𖧷 𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐈

itadori glances at your phone screen as you unlock it, flinching a little to himself when he sees that it’s been changed to such an unflattering photo. pouting, he nudges his head onto your chest as your hand buries into his hair immediately, threading through the soft locks. 

“baby, why’d you have to use that picture?” he whines, huffing into your shirt. you chuckle, pressing a kiss to his forehead as you lock your phone to admire the lock screen you’ve set. 

“what do you mean? it’s so cute, yuji! you look adorable,” you insist, turning the screen to him so he can get a better look. he shields his eyes dramatically, making your head fall back against the pillow as you giggle. 

“i look like i need a trigger warning,” he groans, but you only hum, turning the phone back to yourself and staring at the picture in awe—he doesn’t quite remember when you snapped it, or how for that matter, but you stare at the picture like it’s special. a small part of his heart races at how your gaze softens when it falls on him through the screen.

“that’s so rude, i’m a good photographer,” you insist, “and plus you always look cute.”

“well, if you say so,” he mumbles, blush dusting across his cheeks as you lean and kiss them sweetly. 

𖧷 𝐌𝐄𝐆𝐔𝐌𝐈

megumi raises a brow when you set your phone down, staring at the picture you’ve set of him—it’s not the best picture, but he watches as you smile slightly and stare at the photo for a moment before turning to him. 

“i uh…didn’t realize i was your lock screen,” he mumbles, blushing as you giggle and cup his cheeks. he leans into your palms, relaxing slightly while your thumb traces over the warm skin. 

“i had to, that picture is so cute,” you beam, “you’re so cute, gumi,” you hum before planting a scatter of soft pecks along his cheeks, pressing one last one over the tip of his nose. he grunts, blushing deeper as he rolls his eyes. 

“of course, you’d pick the worst picture ever,” he grumbles, but his hands grip your waist tightly, bringing you flush against his chest as you gasp. 

“i picked the best one! you’re just a hater,” you pout, “and you’re actually smiling for once, too! try being less of a grump, sometimes,” you poke at his cheek, making him throw you a glare—but it’s soft, doesn’t quite match the soft gaze in his eyes. 

“i picked a better picture of you for mine,” he raises a brow. you wriggle yours, pinching his cheek as you giggle. 

“aw, i’m your wallpaper too? how romantic of you,” you tease, laughing when his blush rises to the tip of his ears before he scowls and pulls away, only for you to bring him into a sweet kiss. 

© hanmas do not plagiarize, repost, translate to other sites, or recommend on platforms outside tumblr such as tik tok

⌕ hunter x hunter - illumi zoldyck.

like or reblog if you save/use.

i cant believe i missed this

LITTLE DARK AGE

haitani ran x fem!reader x haitani rindou

summary: eight years later, you finally return to tokyo and find yourself caught in the middle of a violent gang war between the two most ruthless criminal organizations of tokyo’s underworld, forced to choose between blood and love.

genre: bonten timeskip, angst, forbidden romance, childhood friends -> strangers -> lovers, 18+ MDNI

taglist closed — but if ur someone who actively reblogs n leaves feedback i might just find a spot for u

previous chapter -> masterlist -> next chapter

CHAPTER Ⅷ. CAUSE I KNOW YOU GET DEJA VU

FOURTEEN YEARS EARLIER. 

“Ran is acting distant again,” you murmured to Rindou as the two of you sat at a park near the penthouse, your feet kicked in the air lazily, swaying you back and forth on the swing, Rindou leaned on the pole next to the swing, pulling his gaze from the sky to look down at you, hair falling loose on either side of his face, “and why’d you get blue streaks in your hair? I swear you and Ran try to piss off Miss Yua with these weird dye jobs.”

Rindou grinned down at you, “Yeah, that’s cause we are,” he said and you rolled your eyes.

“She’s gonna kill you guys,” you nodded, “She nearly had a heart attack when she saw your half-dyed mop heads last time.”

Rindou’s mouth dropped, “Mop heads?!” he asked offended, “You said you didn’t think they were dumb!” 

“They weren’t dumb, they just weren’t stylish,” you said and Rindou gaped.

“Yes they were!” he argued, “They definitely were.”

“Were not,” you said.

“Were to!” he responded, reaching forward to yank at the chain of your swing hard. You shrieked as you started swinging side to side toward the opposite pole.

“Rindou, I’m gonna hit the pole!” you cried out as the metal pole drew closer but before you could either slam into it or jump off the swing, Rindou’s grip tightened on the chain, tugging you back in his direction. He pulled you off of the swing as flailed back and forth and you scowled, stumbling into his chest.

You steadied yourself, glaring up at him, but he only grinned down at you, looking entirely too pleased with himself.

“You didn’t acknowledge my first statement,” you pointed out and Rindou’s grin fell momentarily, he sighed and looked away.

“Cause I don’t know what’s going on with him,” he shrugged, his hands dropped from your waist, “He gets like this sometimes, I guess. It happened a couple times while we were on our own. And then again after… y’know, when Shimada’s guys stabbed me and after we left the penthouse, he got real distant with me. He felt guilty that time, and it didn’t matter what I said to him.”

Your brows furrowed as you leaned on the pole next to Rindou, watching the swing thrash from side to side, slowly settling down, your arm brushed his and you tilted your head back up toward the sky, “You think he feels guilty over something?” you frowned deeply. 

“I dunno what he’d be feeling guilty about,” Rindou said and you could hear the genuine confusion in his voice. Rindou finally shook his head, “Let’s just go back, Miss Yua wanted us back early tonight.”

---

You did not go back to the penthouse with Rindou. You had managed to lose him in the crowds on the main street of Roppongi, intent on taking some time for yourself. And you knew he was going to flip out on you when he inevitably found you but it wasn’t like he could yell at you for putting yourself in danger like Ran had in Shibuya--they prided themselves on how safe Roppongi had become under their rule and all of the delinquents left in this part of the city were absolutely loyal to them and there were always some lurking about that would recognize you if you got into trouble. 

Ran and Rindou had made sure of it. 

And it warmed your heart, really, knowing how hard they worked to make Roppongi safe for you--because they wanted to know you’d be safe if neither of them happened to be around, because they wanted you to feel comfortable walking around the streets on your own. 

You sighed as you kicked at a pebble on the ground, walking up and down a side street a few blocks away from the penthouse. You knew it was only a matter of time before one of Rindou’s little lackeys reported back to him and told him where you had run off to but you needed some time to think without Miss Yua chiding you for leaving school early to hang out with Rindou.

Because you needed to figure out what you had done to upset Ran.

Because you knew it was you. It had to have been. Ever since the night you brought them to the event at the Sugawara estate, he had been acting weird. First, it had just been with you--he had stopped meeting with you to walk you back home from school. And it had been weird but you hadn’t thought twice about it until he had stopped showing up to breakfast and dinner too. He only ever came back home after you had fallen asleep and you had tried to wait up for him on the couch in the main room but it was like he knew every time and he came home extra late because of it and you’d wake up curled up in bed tucked under the covers the next morning.

And Miss Yua must’ve known what was up with him too because usually she would get upset when he and Rindou skipped out on meals but instead she would just put some food away for him and scold you whenever you tried to question her about it.

You must have done something wrong but you didn’t know what. And you were mad at Miss Yua for siding with him when you didn’t even know what you had done wrong. You would have hoped that she would have at least talked to you about it so you could apologize to him so things could go back to normal. 

And now he was even avoiding Rindou and you knew Rindou was genuinely upset about it if the number of times you found him sullenly lurking around your room had anything to say about it. He couldn’t stand being in the room he shared with Ran because you knew it must be big and empty and lonely without Ran around. 

And you felt anxious. Because if you really had upset Ran somehow and he was so angry that he wouldn’t even talk to you or Rindou, then you didn’t know what to do because the last thing you wanted was to put strain on their relationship.

You let out another deep sigh, turning around the corner and finally starting to make your way back toward the penthouse, bracing yourself for Rindou’s wrath. Your hands swung at your sides as you looked at the large building in the distance, hesitating, a foreboding feeling sweeping over you--you swore you could feel Rindou’s anger from where you were. 

Promptly, you turned and started to make your way down another side street rather than back to the penthouse, intent on taking more time for yourself before facing the guillotine. 

You paused instantly, catching sight of a familiar figure hunched over in the middle of the alley, “Ran?” you called, alarmed, and you watched as he looked up, typically neat braids half pulled out and messy around his face, blood staining his skin. “Ran!” 

Panic flew through you as you took off in the direction of the older Haitani. You ignored how he seemed to roll his eyes when he caught sight of you, pushing away the way it stung to focus on him.

“Ran, what happened? You’re hurt,” you said, standing in front of him hesitantly, unsure of whether or not to get closer or not because you knew he was mad at you for some reason or another and you didn’t want to make him even more mad at you by pushing boundaries. 

“Go away,” he muttered, and your temper flared momentarily as you glared at him before forcing yourself to calm down.

“Ran, is this what you’ve been doing?” you were angry, and it took all of your self-control to not raise your voice. “Been going out and fighting people to try to stay away from home?” 

“It’s none of your business,” Ran said, voice low and your fists clenched tight at your side, “It’s something I have to do.”

“You have to do?” you asked incredulously, “and why is that?” 

Ran pointedly looked away, lips twisted down, jaw clenched and your brows furrowed. You hated this. You hated how he always would disappear and take things on himself so he didn’t have to bother anybody. He’d been doing it more and more often and you knew it was bothering Rindou--the two of them had always done everything together but now Ran was going off on his own and handling their gang business without even talking to Rindou first. Rindou was getting frustrated and feeling left out and you hated it, and you hated that you might have a part in Ran distancing himself from Rindou.

“‘nother gang has been tryna move into our territory, had to push ‘em back,” he finally said when you made no move to go away.

“Without Rindou?” you questioned and Ran grit his teeth together, refusing to look at you again. 

“Isn’t it better this way?” he said, and your brows furrowed.

“I don’t know what you mean,” you said quietly, “but no, I don’t think it’s better that you’re taking this all upon yourself.”

You sighed when he didn’t respond, moving to kneel next to him, trying to force him to look at you and failing when he just looked in the opposite direction.

“Hey,” you said quietly. He didn’t make any sign of acknowledgement and you sighed as you tugged your sleeve over your hand and brought it up to his face. You cupped his cheek with one hand, turning his face so that he was looking at you. You wiped away at the blood dribbling from his nose and split lip.

“You mean the world to me ‘n Rin, y’know? And we really hate when you do this ‘cause we know you’re hurting ‘n we just wanna help, Ran, and I know you don’t want to involve me but you shouldn’t shut Rin out, it’s not fair to him. I love you a lot, y’know? ‘n ‘m sorry if I did something to upset you at the event. It wasn’t my intention if I did.” you told him softly. 

Ran stiffened, his gaze finally shifted toward you on his own, looking up at you through long lashes and your breath caught as his dark lavender eyes met yours, “Don’t say that,” he said, voice hoarse, and your eyes narrowed onto him.

“What’dya mean don’t say that?” you asked heatedly, “It’s the truth, you try to take all the burdens on yourself and it’s not fair. Let us help you.”

“‘s not what I meant,” he murmured but he didn’t elaborate on what he actually meant. You frowned, lips parting to speak but he only shook his head, making you pause. “Go back home, y/n.”

“‘m not leaving without you,” you murmured, fingers lingering on his face as you looked down, catching sight of bruises peeking out from underneath his ridden-up shirt. You reached out immediately, brows furrowed as you tugged his shirt up even more, mouth dropping at the sight of the large, nearly black bruises lining up his abdomen. “Ran, wh-”

“There were more there than I expected,” he didn’t let you finish the question and your eyes narrowed in suspicion as he shot you a charming grin and a wink, “You should see the other guys.”

And you were angry because he was doing it again, brushing off how hurt he was because he didn’t want you to know the extent of it. 

“Ran,” your voice was quiet, your hand dropped from his cheek to his abdomen and you listened as he hissed as your fingers brushed his skin, as his abdomen tensed beneath your touch. Your lips trembled as you let your fingers run up his skin, tracing the dark marks marring his skin.

“It looks worse than it really is,” he lied but you knew from the way he wouldn’t meet your eyes that he knew you weren’t going to fall for it. “Y/n-”

“Miss Yua will be the judge of that,” you said firmly, trying to hide how your voice shook at the sight of Ran so injured, “and after Miss Yua looks over you, you must promise me and Rin that you’ll stop this, okay?”

“Y/n,” he tried to protest but you grabbed one of his hands with both of yours, his eyes darted up to meet yours and you watched as the argument dissolved on his face, as his eyes searched yours and his expression dropped. 

“Ran, please,” you said quietly, “Rin has been really upset too. He can barely even stay in your guys’ room.” 

Ran let out a long breath, shoulders slumping, and you knew you had won--Ran was always weak to Rindou. He hated seeing his younger brother upset, he hated being the cause of it even more. He nodded and you swallowed thickly as you rose to your feet in front of him, holding a hand out.

After a split second of hesitation, he took your hand and you helped pull him to his feet, watching as he winced and hissed with every movement, you were careful of the bruises as you wrapped an arm around his waist, letting him lean heavily on you.

“I’d do anything for you guys,” you said quietly, looking ahead even as you felt Ran turn his gaze down onto you, “You’re my best friends. And I know you don’t want to involve me with the gang stuff, and I won’t push you to, I just wish you guys would rely on me more than you do.”

Ran didn’t speak for a moment and just as you went to toss him a questioning look, your entire body felt hot as he leaned his head down to kiss the top of your head, eyes wide as you stared ahead. 

“We rely on you a lot more than your tiny brain could ever comprehend, more than words can describe, really.”

And your brows furrowed as you considered his words, trying to figure out what he meant until…

“Tiny?!” you demanded, offended, and next to you, Ran burst into laughter before wincing in pain, clutching his abdomen, “Serves you right! My brain is not tiny! It’s bigger than yours and Rindou’s combined, actually.”

“Yes, of course,” he agreed but you didn’t like his tone.

“I don’t like the way you said that,” you complained, “but I guess I can let it slide because you got the shit beat out of you.”

“I did not!” Ran was now the offended one as he gaped down at you, “They got a few hits in but they’re in way worse shape than me.”

“So what I’m hearing is that you got the shit beat out of you,” you nodded, ignoring him.

“I did not!”

And you only giggled as he continued his protests as the two of you walked back toward the penthouse, regaling you with the tale of the ten versus one fight he had to deal with an hour earlier and how he totally kicked their asses even though he was outnumbered. 

Your arm around his waist shifted as he leaned into you, far more relaxed, and a warm feeling spread throughout you as you looked up at him, catching sight of the genuine smile tugging at his lips despite the split lip and remnants of the blood you hadn’t quite been able to wipe off.

And as he glanced down at you, eyes turned up and bright, the happiest he’s looked since the week before the dance, you couldn’t help but let any anger you might have had toward him dissolve. 

“I love you a lot, y’know?” you murmured, accidentally interrupting his tale, “You ‘n Rin, more than anything.”

And there was a strange tone to his voice as he responded, one that seemed to be caught between longing and dejection but you didn’t know why, “Yeah,” he said quietly, “I love you too.”

PRESENT. 

Ran.

Sugawara was talking, you could hear him in the background but none of his words registered--it was like television static as your eyes met Ran’s lavender ones, his right eye bruised dark, blood dribbling from his nose and split lips. The neat clothes he had been wearing earlier in the night were ripped and bloodied.

Your fingers twitched at your side, it took all of your self-control not to rush toward him. You felt ill, your stomach was twisting and turning uncomfortably and your head felt light. Ran, Ran is here, Ran got caught but-

How?

How?

If they got Ran, and got him back to the base so quickly, then they had to have been ready to capture an executive--prepared, expecting it.

So quickly? your head ached, you didn’t even know how long you had been unconscious. No, you reminded yourself, Hanma was still getting stitched up when you woke up. It couldn’t have been too long. They must have known.

You turned your head to the side, gaze cold as you looked at Sugawara from the corner of your eye, “How much of a part did we play in the explosions at the auction hall?” Sugawara paused mid-sentence, looking at you. “You got him from the building and back this quick, you must have been prepared.”

There was a calculating look in his eyes as he considered you, one that made your skin crawl. Finally, he spoke, “The small explosion was ours,” he finally said and your eyes narrowed, he held up two fingers, “We had two reasons for it. One was to incite enough chaos to give us the chance to swoop in and capture one of the Bonten executives.”

But how did he know that Ran was one of them? His tattoo was covered, you-

Your eyes turned to Hanma, as you remembered him outside and on the phone for a decent amount of time. His eyes met yours steadily before he looked away. Anger flared, he-

Two reasons, you forced your mind back to the more important subject, what was the second? Your lips tilted down and your mind raced despite the pain that was shooting through it. Two reasons, one was getting his hands on Bonten and the other…

Kawaragi. 

“Sugawara asked her to check the storerooms.”

The storerooms, where the explosions seemed to have come from. She could have been sent to set it off, a part of you argued but your lips twisted down as you remembered how he greeted you and Hanma, no acknowledgment of Kawaragi being missing.

“Kawaragi,” you said, and Sugawara’s eyes lit up.

“You’re a sharp one,” he cooed, and you forced yourself not to shift uncomfortably under his intent stare. “Yes, Kawaragi had to be dealt with, she could no longer be trusted. Though, I had ensured that the phosphorus munitions were being held in a warehouse away from the actual event which means there was outside interference. I don’t like that.”

Why Kawaragi? was on the tip of your tongue but you caught your uncle’s look of warning from behind Sugawara and stopped yourself. Stop pressing, it looks suspicious.

“I see,” you said. But why did he admit it? You didn’t dare look back at where Ran was kneeling, knowing that as soon as you did you’d be unable to focus. Why, why wh-

A warning, you realized, eyes drawing up to meet Sugawara’s empty ones, a sharp contrast from the excitement that had previously been painted in them. Your throat felt dry but you couldn’t bring yourself to tear your gaze away from his blank ones, void of any type of emotion--apathetic, vacant like those of a doll. It was unnerving, it had dread pooling in your gut. Not a warning, you corrected, a threat. 

“Y/n,” Sugawara approached you, resting a hand on your bicep and it took all of your self-control not to step away, “I want us to be friends, and friends are truthful with each other, yeah?” 

A cold feeling settled in your chest as you nodded in agreement.

“Do you recognize him?”

Him, he was referring to Ran. Your throat felt tight. What do you say? Do you tell the truth? Lie? You didn’t know, you didn’t fucking know.

“Yes,” you said, deciding not to elaborate. But Sugawara only stared at you, waiting for you to explain, you kept your mouth shut—you wouldn’t tell him more than he asked.

“I recognized him too, you know?” Sugawara finally said, and the cold look in his eyes was gone, replaced with that fake friendly expression as he smiled at you and looked between you and Ran. “All those years ago, he and his brother used to attend my father’s events with you, didn’t he?”

Your lips pressed together tight. He remembered that? He never even talked to you or the Haitanis, he was always lurking around with his mother. 

“Yes,” you finally said, voice short.

Sugawara stared at you, you stared right back, “He was your friend,” he said, brow quirking up, the bright smile shifting into a cooler smirk, “Is?” he questioned.

You paused, watching him for a moment, “Was,” you said confirmed, the word was bitter on your tongue, you felt sick just saying it.

“Was?” Sugawara questioned before he clicked his tongue, pacing away from you. You could feel your heart beating heavy in your chest. “I want us to be friends,” he sighed again, “I’d like to make you a proposition, y/n.”

You watched as he paused a few steps away, looking out the window.

“We can make an arrangement about Haitani Ran,” Sugawara offered, and you stilled, gaze drawing toward where Ran was slumped over, eyes lidded as he looked up at you. 

An arrangement? 

Your throat was tight, could you get him out of here? At least make sure that he wasn’t harmed? Your mind spun with questions trying to figure out the best course of action. Was this a trap? Is he testing you?

You didn’t know. You felt sick, you hated not knowing. 

He sounded convincing. You watched as Ran’s eyes widened as he looked between the two of you but something wasn’t sitting right. He sounded convincing, you were almost convinced.

Almost. 

Your eyes flickered above Ran to the glass behind him and you caught your uncle’s wide-eyed glance in the reflection, noting how he discreetly shook his head. A test, you swallowed thickly, eyes drawing back down toward Ran and you forced yourself not to let the confliction show on your face. 

I’m sorry, you wanted to tell him, I promise I’ll figure something out. I won’t be able to do anything if Sugawara doesn’t trust me. 

“I said ‘was’, didn’t I?” you said and your voice was cruel even to your own ears, you didn’t even recognize yourself, you felt sick. You watched as Ran’s face twisted in confusion as he slowly comprehended your words.

“You mean the world to me ‘n Rin, y’know? And we really hate when you do this ‘cause we know you’re hurting ‘n we just wanna help, Ran, and I know you don’t want to involve me but you shouldn’t shut Rin out, it’s not fair to him. I love you a lot, y’know?”

“There’s no need for any arrangement to be made. It’s been years, they don’t mean anything to me anymore. I want to be done with this shit so I can go back to handling business overseas.”

The room was quiet for a moment, you could feel Sugawara’s gaze trained on you, studying you carefully and you forced yourself not to let your face shift as Ran’s dropped once he finally understood what you were saying. The air around you felt cold and chilly as the confusion in his eyes shifted into realization. You were freezing but your blood was running hot and your heartbeat was erratic.

"I'd do anything for you guys."

Don’t be dumb, you wanted to scream at him, shake him, beg him to trust you one last time, you know I don’t mean it. 

But did he?

You hated that you couldn’t answer the question. And you hated that you slowly realized that the answer wasn’t going to be what you wanted it to be. He was searching your face, desperately, for any sort of message because he wasn’t sure--he wanted to believe you didn’t mean it, he was begging you for a sign, and you couldn’t fucking give it to him because everybody was watching you. And you couldn’t even blame him for not seeing through your act, remembering how you had acted with him and Rindou, what you had said to them, knowing that you had really given them little reason to trust you.

Please, you begged him to understand you, you know I’d never-

Hanma Shuji whistled lowly, “Man, that was cold even for me,” he said and your heart sunk in your chest as Ran scoffed loudly. His teeth ground together--so hard that you knew it must hurt, a habit that he had adopted in his late teens as gang stress began to wear him down--and he was trying to hide how his eyes were glossing over with tears, blinking discreetly to try to force them away.

You couldn’t stay. Your hands were shoved in your pants pocket in an attempt to hide the way they trembled, in an attempt to stop yourself from reaching out toward him to hold him, wipe away the blood and tell him that you were sorry, that you would fix this, that everything would be okay. 

But you weren’t even sure that you could fix this, you weren’t sure everything would be okay, all you knew for sure was that you were sorry, and that you would give anything to go back--to when? You didn’t even know. 

To the auction? So you could tell them the truth. To the night you finally saw them again? So you could stay with Ran instead of fleeing, run after Rindou to apologize. Back to before the Munich incident? So you could stop yourself from asking for help from your uncle, so you could have them meet you like you had promised. Or maybe even back to before you had originally left? So you could stay with them when they had asked you over and over again to change your mind.

Your regrets were endless and they weighed heavy on your shoulders, shackled your ankles, clogged your lungs like sand; you weren’t even sure how you were moving forward at this point. You supposed the only thing you could safely say you didn’t regret was stopping that night in the alley--or did you? another voice questioned, look at where you got him. You could barely even function as you looked down at Ran, watching how he couldn’t even meet your eyes, how he was clenching and unclenching his jaw as a last-ditch attempt to try to retain some control over his emotions.

“You should go,” Sugawara finally said and you forced yourself to tear your gaze from Ran to look at him, catching his eyes, “Whether you’re currently friends or not, I’m not cruel enough to force you to watch this.”

Your lips parted at his words, your ears rung and you prayed desperately that your distress wasn’t visible on your face. Bullshit, you wanted to scream, you are cruel enough, you made me choose, you made me choose knowing that there was only one answer but you made him think there was another option.

"I love you a lot, y'know? You 'n Rin, more than anything."

You made him think that I don’t care what happens to him, you made him think I don’t-

“Go,” Sugawara said, and it wasn’t a suggestion anymore, it was a demand. 

Numbly, you turned on your heel, brushing past Hanma. Your thoughts were racing, you felt ill.

“Y/n,” Ran called after you. You kept walking. “Y/n, don’t ignore me!” he called louder, his voice edged on pleading and you wanted to throw up. “Y/n, c’mon!”

You kept walking.

“Hey, y/n,” Hanma said as you reached the door, you paused, not looking back because you knew if you looked back at Ran one last time, you would do something stupid--something that would blow your thin cover for good. “After we finish up here, wanna go grab something to eat?”

What?

His question threw you off, you visibly faltered as you gave him a strange look.

“Whatever,” you agreed halfheartedly, pulling your wrist from his grasp as you continued out of the door, lungs burning, mind splitting as you tried to figure out what you were supposed to do. 

How could you even get him out of here? There were bound to be tons of guards watching over him and the cameras- No, the cameras could be dealt with if you got in touch with Takuya but-

Takuya, okay. Takuya is the first step. He needs to be able to loop the playback so nothing looks out of the ordinary.

It was risky, your chest felt tight as the door shut behind you and you leaned against the wall once you realized that nobody else was in the hall, trying to calm your heart rate. You breathed in and out steadily, pacing your breath, counting to five with each inhale, and five with each exhale. You doubled over, resting your elbows on your knees and pressing your face into your hands.

Ran, you wanted to sob--your throat was burning, your eyes were blurring, you couldn’t breathe and you could barely think. Your head hurt, it felt like a thousand knives were being driven through your skull. Calm down, you tried to tell yourself. Calm down, you were shaking, trembling violently, you feared that if you tried to move, your legs would give out, calm down. 

Get in contact with Takuya, you reminded yourself, that’s the first step. You need him to-

“Fuck you,” you heard Ran spit loudly, interrupting your train of thoughts, “Fuck you, I’ll fucking kill every single o-”

There was a sickening crack and a thud, your blood felt cold, the world tunneled around you as your gaze remained focused on the floor, everything muted except for what was going on behind the closed door. Another thud, and another, over and over and over again, bile rose to your throat, you sunk down the wall until you were sitting on the floor, hand pressed against your mouth, eyes wide and glassy.

Over and over and over again.

You could hear him cursing, the gasps of pain. The walls were thin--too thin, you could hear it all, the impact of every kick, the torrent of questions being thrown at him so quickly that you were sure he barely had time to think of an answer before he received another painful kick.

You were going to throw up.

The door opened but you couldn’t even bring yourself to try to cover your distress--it would’ve been useless anyway, there was no hiding it at this point, you wouldn’t be able to hide your distress quick enough. 

Your eyes darted up and you caught sight of your uncle, face ashen and eyes trained ahead, his hands were tense at his sides, fingers barely trembling. He didn’t even notice you sitting there, letting out a heavy breath, bringing one hand up to rub the bridge of his nose. He looked exhausted, disturbed, you wondered if he felt uncomfortable with what was going on in there. He had never been particularly close with either of the brothers but he had looked out for them all this time and…

“Y/n,” his voice was rough, you stiffened at the sound of it. You hadn’t even realized that he had noticed you. Your eyes met his, “Get up.”

“I can’t,” you said, physically flinching as another sharp cry of pain hit your ears. This is your fault, you felt so sick. So fucking sick, you couldn’t even move. Your uncle leaned down, grabbing you by the bicep and hauling you to your feet. You nearly dry heaved as he pulled you down the hall away from the interrogation room but it didn’t matter how far away he dragged you, you couldn’t fucking get Ran’s gasps and cries of pains to stop ringing in your ears.

He brought you into another room halfway down the hall and immediately you crumbled again, dropping onto a couch, hands hiding your face, elbows resting on your knees. 

“I need to get him out,” you gasped, “They’re torturing him, I can’t leave him, I-“

“Y/n,” your uncle’s void was low, sympathetic, you already knew what he was going to say. Your uncle was never sympathetic.

“You can’t stop me,” you shook your head frantically, “You can’t-“

“I know,” you uncle murmured, cutting you off, “I won’t stop you, but there will be consequences. Kenji will know it was you.”

“Fuck the consequences,” you said, eyes wild as you finally looked up at him, catching sight of the grim expression on his face. A chill hit you and you shivered as your eyes darted around, catching sight of the open window. You looked around quickly, not catching sight of any camera in the room. You should have checked for that first, you needed to get some control over yourself. You were going to fuck up, “They’re torturing him, Uncle Ichirou, they’re torturing him and I gave the okay.”

Your uncle clicked his tongue sharply, “If you had given him anything but the okay, he would have killed him. You kept him alive.”

Your throat dried, the words in your tongue died as you stared up at him. Killed? and then you wanted to hit yourself for being surprised, of course, he would have, you wanted to spit out, of fucking course he would have. He had just finished explaining what happened to Kawaragi because he didn’t trust her, he wouldn’t have risked you pulling something if you still considered Ran your friend.

Fool, you wanted to scream, you would have fallen for it, gotten him killed had your uncle not warned you.

You needed to get yourself together. You would never be able to function in this state. You had to control yourself. 

“I need to get him out,” you repeated, still trying to slow your breath and heart rate, “Uncle Ichirou, I need to get him out, I-I can’t, if he, I won’t, I-”

“I know,” he said quietly when you cut yourself off. But you weren’t even sure what he was saying ‘I know’ too because you weren’t even sure what you were trying to say. Though, there was a knowing look in his eyes that had you confused and on edge. “I don’t know how much help I’ll be able to be,” your uncle admitted quietly, “I’m walking on a thin rope already.”

Your brows furrowed in confusion as you looked at your uncle but he only shook his head, “Nothing for you to worry about,” he said and you opened your mouth to argue but your uncle only spoke again before you could say anything, “Tell me about what happened--at the auction.”

You hesitated--your head hurt, you could barely think back to the auction hall without it feeling like spears were being driven through your head, without feeling heavy, without smelling that putrid smoke or the heat of the fire. “It happened right after the auction started, a small explosion, then the big one,” you said quietly, “Hanma threw himself over me-”

“Hanma?” your uncle’s tone was laced with disbelief, you could see his mind running a million miles a minute behind his eyes, “How curious.”

“What does that mean?” you asked, unnerved by the look on his face and how he wouldn’t elaborate on what he had meant. “Uncl-”

“Hanma Shuji has never really been interested in anything,” your uncle murmured, “He’s just been… there. In the six or so years I’ve known him, nothing has particularly intrigued him, so to speak. A state of perpetual boredness, almost.”

Your brows furrowed, his perception of Hanma being entirely different from yours, but you didn’t even have to speak because your uncle was eyeing you again.

“Until you came along, that is,” he said quietly and you felt distinctly uncomfortable. Why? you wondered to yourself, but you must have voiced your thoughts aloud because your uncle looked dismayed, “I don’t know. I don’t like it.”

Something wasn’t sitting right with you. You had to get your mind off of it, focus back on Ran, getting Ran out. “Who’s supposed to be watching over Ran tonight? I need-”

“What else happened at the auction?” your uncle interrupted you, not answering your question you stared at him.

“We can do this later, right now w-”

“We are not getting Ran out of there when the room is occupied with the other higher-ups,” your uncle said sharply, “There was outside interference, we need to figure out who it was and how-”

“There were a ton of gangs there,” you said angrily, voice rising in pitch as you flung your hands out, “from all over the east, how the fuck am I-”

Krüger rising to his feet, a concerned look on his face. 

Your head hurt as you tried to recall the moments before the explosion--you had been panicking looking for Rindou and Ran but… it was more than just concern, wasn’t it? The expression on his face, it was as if he had known something was supposed to happen, but not at that moment. 

Had he…? But how? Who was he working with? 

“Krüger,” you said quietly, “I think it was Gunter Krüger.”

Your uncle didn’t respond, and you forced yourself to look back up at him and you hated the genuine concern and disbelief that had swept across his face. “Y/n…”

“He was there, at the auction. He knew it was going to happen, I saw his face before the second expl-” you cut yourself off, noticing his expression, “you don’t believe me.”

“Gunter Krüger is dead,” your uncle said carefully, you shook your head, “Y/n, we searched for loose ends for weeks after the incident. He never would have slipped through. I sent two of my most trusted to confirm the body. You saw the body.”

“It was closed casket, I did not,” you said immediately, “I know what I saw-”

“You hit your head hard,” your uncle said and your mouth dropped open, watching him incredulously, “and it was a stressful situation that I’m sure brought back unwelco-”

“Are you kidding me?” you demanded, “You think I was hallucinating him? I know what I saw, Hanma and Kawaragi saw him too. And you have some nerve bringing up the unwelcome memories that you caused.”

“You asked for help, I gave you it,” the same thing he always said, the same thing that always made your blood pressure rise and never failed to make your temper peak.

“You know that wasn’t what I meant,” you spit out, rising to your feet, “You know-”

“You didn’t specify what you wanted,” your uncle said calmly and your blood roared in your ears as you rose to your feet, hands clenched tight at your side. 

“You-” you began, but you swayed on your feet as a wave of pain swept over you, up through your arm and neck and into your head. You stumbled and your uncle reached out to steady you, sitting you back down.

The look of concern on his face deepened and you felt ill. You hated it.

“You shouldn’t be walking around yet,” he said, “I’ll bring you back to the infi-”

“I’ve got her,” you froze, your uncle paused. You turned your head to the side, catching sight of Hanma standing at the door. You hadn’t even heard him approach, or the door open.

Get some self-control, you reminded yourself, you were going to end up fucking up beyond repair.

“Hanma,” your uncle’s voice was strained as he spoke, “There’s no ne-”

Hanma blatantly ignored your uncle and you almost gaped, but you didn’t really have time to consider his actions as he reached down and scooped you off of the couch, wrapping an arm around your waist and leading you out of the room, “I’m heading that way anyway! And Sugawara wanted to talk to you, Ichirou.”

The door shut behind him after he finished his sentence, leaving the two of you alone in the cold, silent hallway.

“Maybe we should just order takeout,” Hanma said easily, “Doesn’t look like you’re up to moving around yet.”

You stared ahead, not even sure if you were hearing him correctly. What the fuck is wrong with this guy?

“Ah, safehouse, forgot, guess takeout isn’t the best idea. I’ll just send one of my men into the city to grab us food, they’re not doing much tonight except for watching over your boy,” Hanma said easily, your eyes darted toward him and he caught your gaze--amber eyes sharp in comparison to the playful smile on his face, as if he hadn’t just divulged sensitive information to you.

Did he even realize?

Of course, he realized, you understood immediately, his eyes were too sharp and calculating for him not to. He knew exactly what he was telling you and how you could use it. He was doing it on purpose, “Doubt I’ll keep ‘em there the whole night,” he shrugged, “Fuck Sugawara for giving us this shit job, boring as fuck, ‘pposed to be Alyona’s little lackeys but they’re not around tonight. Should be taking over tomorrow.”

Why? you wanted to ask him. Is this a test or an opportunity? Why?

You felt cold, anxious. You didn’t know what to do, you hated not knowing what to do. Rain pattered against the roof of the house quickly, harshly, it was loud, deafening but it couldn’t drown out the memory of Ran’s gasps of pain. You wished it would. 

Your fault. This was your fault. 

You were ill again.

“What do you want from me?” and you hated how fucking weak your voice sounded. You were exhausted, your body ached, and guilt weighed so heavily on your mind and soul that you felt as if you were going to collapse in on yourself. You couldn’t get Ran off of your mind, and your phone was buzzing in your pocket over and over again and you were too scared to look because you had a feeling you knew exactly who was calling you.

He paused in front of the door to the makeshift infirmary, “Here, you should go lay down, I need to go check up on my guys real quick.”

He started walking away, you stared after him, “I asked you a question,” you called.

Hanma looked at you over his shoulder, a smile on his lips, “Nothing in particular, not yet, at least. You’re interesting,” his smile faded, he turned away and continued walking as he finished his sentence, not giving you the chance to question him, “in some ways, you remind me of someone I used to know.”

--

wordcount: 7.2k 

REBLOGS AND FEEDBACK HIGHLY APPRECIATED