Isthatmorbidica - Morbidica? - Tumblr Blog

rewatching ever after high and wanted to doodle along! can you tell apple is my favorite character

Also yeah I changed the color of her armor WHY IS IT SILVER IN THE SHOW

i’ve had these sketches of Kitty lying around for a while now but I never ended up finishing it because I had to finish drafting my bachelor thesis and then it was my birthday and THEN it was easter and family dinners. But considering it’s April 1st and I don’t think I’ll finish these properly I decided I might as well post these in honor of Kitty because she would LOVE April 1st (idk if that’s a canon thing but in my delusions. This is true)

and yeah my art process is this messy. always. if you zoom in on my art you’ll immediately see it

...hi, I draw 💕

I want to forgive you mom, for everything you’ve done, and everything you’ve put me through. Neglect, the emotional abuse you’d give me when you did feel emotional. How you’d use me, like I was no more than those girls in school who everybody use for something, because its all I’ve ever known. Love for me is giving all, and receiving is doing what is wanted of me and never expecting anything in return because I know its not coming, unless I find you in a good mood months down the line, to feel okay with asking, which I’ll feel bad about because your life has always been worse than mine, even though everything that’s happened to me has stemmed from you.

I know you were too young to be my mother, but I’m too young to be yours. I’m too young to be as old as I am now. Too experienced with grief and longing for somebody who’s supposed to be able to bounce back, because I’m simply in the prime of my life. Too sad and callous for somebody who people only ever want around because I’m happy to see you, no matter how long its been and how little you’ve always given me. Because I know, you’re thinking of somebody else when you’re with me. Everybody always has, its the way I was bred.

You think of me when I was little, doll like, who was just full of love, who gave up everything to do what you wanted because I just wanted to be around you. You think of me, good ol’ reliable, the one who was always there to keep you company whenever you decided you wanted me, because you had nowhere else to go on a Friday night and surely because I had just reached double digits, I could watch those romcoms with you because I was starting puberty, I was gonna learn about it soon enough. You thought less of me when I became depressed and had a hard time taking care of myself, and how embarrassing I was to you in our small town because I was open about who I was, and when you forced me into your clothes and made me wear makeup my sensitive skin couldn’t handle because I needed to think about your reputation in town because me being myself was embarrassing to you because I didn’t grow out of being a tomboy, even though you were a tomboy, because we both know it wasn’t me being a tomboy. You didn’t think of me at all when I didn’t give into dressing how you wanted and was gaining weight because of my depression, and you gave up because you had a new family growing with the love of your life, and I was just a byproduct to call and do stuff for you that you needed when you did remember I exist. You only remembered me when you had nobody to call, and since I was fat and ugly, you knew I was free to be there for you, because I loved you. You tortured me, for years. I gave you everything. I lost everything that’s ever mattered to me.

You want us to be better now, yet you still only talk about yourself, or call me when you need me or want to use me, because I’m still fat and ugly, and have no idea how to function in the real world, and I’m scared of being used because people always sniff it out in me. I’m scared that because of how little faith I have in people wanting to be around me just to be around me, that I’ll be miserable for the rest of my life, because people are only around me when I don’t set boundaries, I’m so nonchalant and don’t argue because I’m tired of that being my main social interaction, so I’m always down to do whatever because I’m included, even though I never feel like I’m wanted by the time I’m there because I’m falling short of who it is you’re missing.

I’m just a mother. There to help. To love. To give advice and make you feel better. To take care, even though you don’t listen and know better than me. To be there with you because you’re lonely, and not fighting to do whatever I want to because you don’t like it, but doing what you like because you like it. I don’t cry to people with my emotions because it rarely matters, or I don’t want it to matter because when I tried to make my emotions matter, nobody cared. Wanted to brush past it quickly or just ruining the vibes. Oh well. Who better to mother me than myself? Eve didn’t have a mother, neither do I, I guess.

Cumture

FUCK THE QUEUE IS EMPTY AGAIN

I’m so sorry finals have kept me so fucking busy I can’t even. Like I didn’t even notice

once summer break starts I’ll try to not let this happen as much

I wish I understood why I’m so scared of drawing my old persona/comfort characters as transmasc. I’m an adult…its not shameful anymore. I don’t have to make and force every form of me cis feminine. Its okay if I like it, please just let me be okay to like it. I know why I’m scared, but I’m scared regardless. I’m okay, the way that I am. I can be loved the way I am, just like I love them the way I do. I wish my family loved me for me.

was asked to make a transmasc version of the meme

tried to vent in a trans space about how, as a trans man who’s been on T for a long time (over 7 years now), i have noticed that the more i pass as a man, the less welcomed i am in queer spaces unless i go out of my way to feminize myself. and how that sucks! and it’s isolating!!! and it feels horrible to see ppl who used to like you and be close to you drift further and further the more masculine (& therefore more comfortable in urself) u become…

only to get ppl replying to me and saying “well if you dressed more fem then ppl wouldn’t be intimidated by you. you signed up for this”

i’m sorry but i didnt sign up for social isolation when i transitioned, i signed up for gender euphoria and comfort in myself and my life. and i had hoped that the ppl in my life would be able to see how much joy that brings me and continue to love me.

Genderfluid culture is wanting to have top surgery, then begin wearing fake boobs and fake bulges at random intervals so nobody knows if I’m AMAB or AFAB because some days there is boobs, others is boobs and bulge, others is masc with no bulge, masced and bulged, what genitals do I have? Your moms last night

Confuse the masses. Be incomprehensible :)

Happy hearts and hooves day <3

Me and who?

fluttershy X derpy/ditzy/that grey girl what with the muffins and bubbles if thou wouldst

You could say that she gives her butterflies

Them again

Amazing art keep up the amazing work. Also if it's ok for me to request some nightmare/derpy being in love I would appreciate it.

Been thinking about them for a while

Fluttershe

👀

moving far away to a sunny place.

Dream home 💚

AND SHES DONE!

i was able to find a little bit of the leftover fabric from my raggedy ann doll so they match :)

i think she came out appropriately cute and i plan to make a matching andy once i find some good plaid fabric

yooo let’s go

We need more people- idc if they’re from tadc or from 2 years ago or just from whatever- PEOPLE NEED TO SEE RAGGEDY ANN AND ANDY

Hello! 💚

My name is Morbidica, and welcome to my blog :)

I made this blog to stem away from all my past blogs and to grow and explore myself, which isn’t something I let myself do, due to embarrassment. But I’m too old for embarrassment now. So here’s to a new era, where I have my own little bubble to grow and see what I’m supposed to be.

Other funfacts:

I am an adult

I am genderfluid (pronouns change without much rhythm, and unless specified on my posts, please use they/them, thank you)

I’m AuDHD

The things I’m always into is clowns, ninja turtles, horror, retrofuturism, muppets, strawberry shortcake, hello kitty. The list will change presumably as I go forward.

I have a special interest in memes. They’re encapsulated in my mind, and there’ll be a meme for about anything said to me. Sorry in advance.