Hurt - Tumblr Posts

Friends

I feel like I’ve been stabbed

I thought they were my friends

Like Oli said: “True friends stab you in the front”

But are they actually true friends?

I sometimes wonder if that was just my perception

It hurts to see them now turn their backs on me

While I clutch my wound, the warm stickiness dripping through my fingers

They didn’t even notice

And I know I will probably crawl back to them

Even though I have been hurt time and time again

Destruction.

Depression creates fantastic liars.

I'm getting bad again.

It’s like you’re a child. Waking up crying at 4 am. Looking around for help. Except now you can’t find it so you look to the blade°

6 AM

I couldn't sleep all night. I wanted to talk to you I wanted so bad to tell you everything But you wouldn't care anyway.

vent piece on how ive been feeling lately came out really nice

I want to be pursued. I want to be desired. I want to be fought for. I want to be chosen. I want to be wanted. I've tried so hard to love others, to be genuine, to help and support the discarded, broken, and afraid. I always end up hurt and alone, though. I'm just scared. Scared that, after all my sacrifice and pursuing, that no one will want me. I'm scared that it won't mean anything, that I won't mean anything.

For the love of _______ please, PLEASE don’t post that someone, especially a family/friend has passed on social *cough* Facebook *cough* unless you know for a stone cold fact that family and immediate friends have been informed!

It’s a horrific way to find out that a loved one is dead; regardless of knowing that it was coming.

Luke Curtis

Do you relate?

Friend’s loss

Nothing like watching someone close to you lose a loved one to make you feel completely and utterly useless. There is nothing you can say for it is their pain and not yours, so to pretend that you understand what it feels like is nothing short of disrespectful and also, there is nothing that can possibly be done to stop them from hurting. So what do we do? We love them deeply, deeper than we’ve done before and make it show so the person in grief close to us knows it. Our love will not fill the gap left in their heart but it will; in time; help ease the burden of such lonely feeling they now carry.

He felt like magic and I thought he was the one, not realizing that curses are also a form of magic and so, I was bound to a walking curse, a gorgeous one that turned out to be the end of me.

And now I feel like an idiot for being unavailable when you tried to connect with me.

Shasta Rose's Masterlist

One Life After Another, Forevermore | Bakugo Katsuki x Reader

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five (final)

Dance With a Demon | Bakugo Katsuki x Reader

18+ Oneshot

Nicotine | Aizawa Shota x Reader

18+ Oneshot

Worship Me Like I Worship You | Bakugo Katsuki & Reader

Oneshot

Love's the Death of Peace of Mind | Bakugo Katsuki x Reader

Oneshot

Of Monsters and Men | Bakugo Katsuki x OC

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven |

Earth Shattering | Bakugo Katsuki & Reader, Kirishima Eijiro x Reader

Part One | Part Two

The Greatest | Bakugo Katsuki x Reader

Part One | Part Two

Taking Over Me | Aizawa Shota x Reader

Part One | Part Two | Part Three |

Of Monsters and Men | Bakugo Katsuki x OC

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven |

Tags/Warnings ~ Fem!OC, angst, hurt/comfort, eventual fluff, enemies to friends to lovers, slow burn, potentially triggering content, universe-typical violence, Enji Todoroki (yes, that is a warning, he's trash), character death, suicidal ideation, (more tags to be added as story develops <3)

Note ~ Here's the second chapter, Lovelies! Hope yall enjoy the read, and let me know if there are any tags I should add! <3

Enji Todoroki has always been a focused and serious person, someone who always did what needed to be done. He may have hated being bossed around and being at the bottom of the food chain, but his drive for power and need to be at the top are what got him where he is today. The day he became a Marshal was the day he truly began to look down on those he thought were far beneath him.

It hadn’t been very long after the day he ranked Marshal when the first Kaiju had pulled itself from the depths of the ocean and showed no mercy to the people of the cities it destroyed.

In all of his years, he hadn’t given the preposterous idea of aliens a single thought. There wasn’t any evidence to back up the claims of various wack-jobs around the world. Astronomers had proven time and time again that space was just cold and empty. Had Enji given even half a thought on the topic of aliens he certainly wouldn’t have ever suspected that they would emerge from the ocean.

It didn’t take very many attacks on major coastal cities around the world for nations to band together and try to come up with a solution to fight back. With the production of Jaegers came the preparation of pilots. Most of those who were volun-told to be pilots went through their training terrified. Enji, though, remained calm and level-headed through it all.

The day he stepped into a Jaeger and completed his first Drift seamlessly, Enji felt a new kind of power wash over him. He felt truly invincible like he could take anything on headfirst. And with this new feeling of power came a cockiness that he had trouble hiding behind a mask of stoicism.

Enji and his co-pilot, Toshinori Yagi, had made a powerful team. They hadn’t gotten along very well outside of the drift, mostly on Enji’s part, but they kicked Kaiju ass, nevertheless. They held the record for most Kaiju kills in Japan for two years. They were unstoppable.. until Okinawa.

It was 2200 and the two had just gotten back to their bunk when the alert sounded. Despite being as tired as they were, the two had suited up and rushed to their Jaeger, Mighty Endeavor. They had loaded up, Drifted, and made sure that everything was calibrated. Then they were flown off to Okinawa.

It was supposed to be an easy take-down and another kill for Mighty Endeavor and its pilots. The Kaiju, code-named Speartail, was a fairly small Category 3. Enji had worn a cocky smile the whole flight to Okinawa as adrenaline had coursed through his veins. Being in the red-haired man’s brain, Toshinori had just rolled his eyes with a good-natured smile.

The kill was supposed to be easy. They were supposed to have won.

Instead, what had happened was they were dropped into the water just off of the coastline and were immediately met by Speartail. The Kaiju, in all of its seemingly mindless brutality, relentlessly attacked the Jaeger. It moved quicker than anticipated, gliding through the water more smoothly than Mighty Endeavor. Enji and Toshinori had lost sight of the damn creature at one point, the both of them having to rely on Loccent to tell them where to look.

Unfortunately, in the few seconds that Enji had spent screaming at Loccent, Speartail had found its opportunity to launch itself at the Jaeger. Mighty Endeavor was hit hard, and Enji and Toshinori struggled to regain balance. Neither of them had seen the long tail of the creature coming toward the face of their Jaeger until the sharp, pointed end of it was speared through Toshinori’s chest.

A cross between a roar and a scream had been torn from Enji’s throat when he was struck with the phantom pain. The tail retreated as quickly as it came, leaving a gaping hole in the middle of Toshinori’s body. Blazing red and molten hot rage filled Enji and fueled him to not only pilot on his own but also kill the Kaiju. All the while, Toshinori’s lifeless body swung around limply from the piloting harness that it was stuck to.

Getting back to the Shatterdome that day had not been the success-filled occasion that it should have been. Instead, Enji was numb and his body had felt cold. It wasn’t until he saw the tear-soaked faces of Inko and Izuku that the reality of what had happened hit him.

~~~~~~~~~~

Enji became cold and closed off, even more stoic, after that day. He hadn’t even congratulated or shown an ounce of pride when Toya became a full-fledged Ranger and pilot. On the day of Toya’s Drift-compatibility test, Enji silently brought his son to a private training room and tested to see if they were Drift-compatible.

Once Enji had confirmed that he and his son were, in fact, Drift-compatible, he asked to be sent a new, more up-to-date, Jaeger. Bravo Inferno had arrived quickly equipped with the latest technologies, smoother and quicker movement capabilities, and better weapons than what Mighty Endeavor had. The men’s first drift and test run of the new Jaeger went without a single hitch.

Enji and Toya had been Chiba’s most effective team of co-pilots, holding the record for most kills out of all of the teams stationed at the Shatterdome. While he took the job seriously in front of his father, Toya’s ability to be humble only ever went that far. Outside of his father’s intimidating presence, Toya was overly confident and cocky as hell. The only people who could stand him, the only people he wasn’t cocky around, were his mother and siblings.

He would genuinely smile and laugh when teasing and playing with his brothers and sisters. He would cry in his mother’s arms whenever he came back from an especially rough deployment. Behind the closed door of their family bunker, he could just be himself instead of the Toya that had to deflect the judgment and harsh words of his peers by being insufferably cocky and easy-going. He laughed boisterously at the comments flung at him even though all he wanted to scream was that he didn’t even ask to be the Marshal’s, his father’s, co-pilot. He never did understand why people couldn’t see that Enji always treated Toya like he was just another Ranger to boss around like the rest of them. That is the number one thing that Enji would come to regret every day after the day that Toya died.

The alert for the deployment that day had woken both Enji and Toya from their slumber. The AI’s voice told them that Bravo Inferno was being deployed to take down a Kaiju entering the shallows a few miles down the coastline from the Shatterdome. The Kaiju, code-named Kurassha, was labeled a Category 3, a level of Kaiju that they had fought and won against many times by that point.

They suited up, locked themselves into their harnesses, dropped and Drifted, then they were off. The whole flight to the Kaiju, while short, was full of Enji trying to ignore the fact that he could see his old self in his feral-eyed and manically grinning son. Instead of joining in on Toya’s hype, Enji simply told his son to “take the situation seriously” and to “stay focused” in his ever-commanding, anger-bitten, militant tone. He wasn’t in any mood to deal with Toya’s energy, not to mention, Enji was still pissed that Toya had been late getting to the Bay to suit up.

Their Jaeger was dropped into the water within the general vicinity of where Loccent had tracked the Kaiju. It hadn’t taken much looking around before Kurassha had decided to show itself. The massive creature had simply chosen to slowly rise out of the water about 40 feet away from where Bravo Inferno stood ready for battle.

Enji hadn’t been as phased by the appearance of the Kaiju as Toya had, his son’s fear flooding his mind and covering his own. Even if Enji hadn’t been sharing a brain space with his son, one could tell from the look on Toya’s face that he was terrified. Enji had swallowed his own fear, gritted his teeth, and demanded that Toya get it together and get ready to fight.

The decision to rush Kurassha was made at the same time the huge beast began rushing them. The brutal collision of beast and metal seemed to have shaken the earth beneath their feet, waves ripping through the water around them. Bravo Inferno’s metal fists landed punch after punch to the Kaiju, the impacts not seeming to do much to stop its assault on the Jaeger.

One of the Kaiju’s hands, which had been far larger than it should have been in proportion to its body, had come up and immediately grabbed Bravo Inferno’s right arm. Neither Toya nor Enji could keep their roars of pain in as the monster in front of them started crushing Bravo Inferno’s arm in its grip. It wasn’t until minutes of pain later that the Kaiju just ripped the newly crushed arm off of the Jaeger.

Panting and gritting his teeth, Enji had ignored Toya’s pleas to tell Loccent to send back up. He shouted at Toya to shut up and focus back on fighting, wholly believing that they could still finish and win the fight. He pressed a series of buttons and activated one of Bravo Inferno’s weapons as he attempted to block Toya’s thoughts from his mind.

Before Bravo Inferno’s remaining arm could fully transform into the weapon Enji had selected, the Jaeger was being picked up. Kurassha’s massive hands fully wrapped around Bravo Inferno’s middle, crushing the metal and digging its claws into the Jaeger’s spine. Shouts of pain erupted from both Enji and Toya, once more, their suits shocking them with violent pulses of electricity.

Suddenly, they were spinning, the monster that had a hold of them gearing up to launch them. After a couple of spins, Kurassha let go sending Bravo Inferno flying toward the jagged rocks of the shoreline. The loud ear-piercing sound of stone puncturing metal echoed throughout the surrounding area along with the roar tearing from the Kaiju as it bounded after the Jaeger.

Both men were dazed, Toya shaking with fear, as they tried to get back up from their harsh landing, but the machine that they were linked to seemed stuck. Enji was silent, trying to figure out their next move, as Toya shouted into the Comms for Loccent to send out backup. Loccent had been in the middle of informing them that backup was on the way when the Kaiju pounced on them. The action caused the sharp rock that was already embedded in the back of Bravo Inferno to pierce through further, the sharp tip protruding from the Jaeger’s chest.

Kurassha made quick work of crushing and ripping off the Jaeger’s left arm. As the Kaiju continued with its brutal and aggressive assault, Enji did something he had never done before; he froze. To him, everything was happening in slow motion. Sounds were muffled, his body jostled in the harness as the Kaiju tore the Jaeger apart from the outside of the Conn-Pod. He hadn’t even registered Toya screaming at him until he saw the cracking of the glass panel in front of him.

It was then that sound came crashing into his eardrums and he was forced back into reality. Multiple alarms were blaring, Loccent was cutting in and out, metal groaning and crumpling, and the gut-wrenching sound of Toya crying. A frantic look around the Conn-Pod told Enji that the monster outside had a massive hand wrapped around the head of Bravo Inferno and was slowly crushing it.

Even though he knew the risk, Enji manually released himself from his harness and immediately went to prepare the escape pods. Somehow, it was still possible for them to eject and that was the one and only time that Enji thanked whatever God may be out there. He turned toward Toya, shouting for him to get out of the harness and get to a pod, and saw his son struggling.

Toya’s manual release wasn’t working no matter what he did.

Enji felt his stomach sink and he rushed over to try to help his son, but when neither of them could get the harness to release and the Conn-Pod was closing in more and more by the second, Toya stopped his movements. Enji was filled with panic and exasperation and was about to yell at Toya to keep trying but stopped when he met his son’s eyes. Toya’s face, while calm, was solemn and his eyes were filled with deep sadness and defeat. Enji was pulled into a hug that he didn’t reciprocate because his mind was still in shock over the realization he just made.

“You better take care of them, Dad. They’re your family, not soldiers. I love you, Old Man.”

Those were Toya’s final words before shoving Enji away from him and shouting for him to get into the escape pod and leave. Enji’s entire being was numb in a way that he had never felt before, not even when Toshinori was killed. As if on autopilot, he had climbed into an escape pod, pressed everything that he needed to then was ejected from the head of Bravo Inferno seconds before it was finally crushed with his son still inside.

He flew through the air waiting for the escape pod to crash land somewhere when a new kind of pain shot through his numbed body. It wasn’t like the phantom pain one could feel through a Drift and it was far worse than any physical pain he had ever felt. It was the kind of pain you only feel when you lose someone you love.

That was the day Enji Todoroki started regretting treating his son and the rest of his children like they were soldiers.

That was the day Enji Todoroki started feeling disappointed in who he was as a person.

That was the only day that Enji Todoroki had ever wished that he had never chosen to make being in the military a lifetime career.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Marshal Todoroki.” Aizawa’s firm voice knocks reality back into Enji’s mind and he blinks a few times at the tablet in front of him before looking up to his second-in-command with a question brow raised.

“You were.. overthinking the pairings, again.” Aizawa subtly excuses Enji’s wandering mind though his tone is tired and he lets out a sigh.

“Right.. My apologies, Shota. Where were we?” Enji asks, falling back into his serious and stoic mask.

“We were just re-evaluating the co-pilot pairings for the six that tested first earlier today. I just want to be sure that you are certain about who we’ve selected to be co-pilots,” Aizawa says, casting an unsure glance between the tablet in his hands and Enji.

“You have doubts about the pairings?” Enji questions with a tick of annoyance on his face.

“Only about one of them. Rangers Hado and Kendo will work well together, I believe. Rangers Kirishima and Tetsutetsu are practically twins, so they’ll Drift just fine. It’s Rangers Bakugo and To-” Aizawa begins to explain, ready to give his reasoning as to why the last pair wouldn’t mesh well when he’s cut off.

“They’ll work just fine together, Shota. If not at first, then they’ll learn to make it work.” Enji states, his tone definitive, and Aizawa lets out another sigh as he rubs his forehead.

“Okay then.. That’s all of the pairings, then. What time do you want to commence first Drift trials?” Aizawa asks tiredly.

“Set the mass alarms for 0500. We’ll let the Rangers eat breakfast before announcing their co-pilots and Jaeger assignments. We’ll have them all report to Bay 3, I’ve already had the groups’ Jaegers moved there.” Enji says as he scrolls through the pairings on his tablet one last time before closing tabs and signing out of it.

“Alright Enji, alarms are set,” Aizawa announces before closing the tabs on his own tablet and signing out of it.

“See you at 0530. Goodnight.” Aizawa says while standing, bowing slightly before leaving Enji’s office.

Enji mumbles out a “goodnight” as the door closes behind Aizawa, then releases a long sigh as he leans back in his chair. He checks the time on his watch, seeing that it’s already a bit late. He wonders if Rei has eaten already or if she waited for him. She doesn’t wait up for him as much anymore, usually choosing to grab him something from the Mess Hall and keeping it in their family bunker. But she does sit and talk with him while he eats and that’s more than he could ask for after everything they’ve been through over the years.

Especially when she’s the only one in their family that doesn’t blame him for Toya’s death.

Note ~ Let me know how you're feelin' about the story so far! Also, I know that I said that Enji is trash, and HE IS, but every other chapter/part or so will be written from his focus. I am still having a bit of trouble grasping onto Third POV stories as I mostly write in First or Second POV. So if the overall story or POV are a bit choppy, thats why haha! Anyway, I love and appreciate you all!! <3 <3

Taglist ~ @tomiokasecretlover

Of Monsters and Men | Bakugo Katsuki x OC

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven |

Tags/Warnings ~ Fem!OC, angst, hurt/comfort, eventual fluff, enemies to friends to lovers, slow burn, potentially triggering content, universe-typical violence, Enji Todoroki (yes, that is a warning, he's trash), character death, suicidal ideation, (more tags to be added as story develops <3)

Note ~ Hey, Lovelies! Here's chapter three and four will be up right after I post this one! My husband and I will be going out of town for a bit, so yall get a double-update treat! Enjoy, Lovelies! <3

“Toya, are you sure it’s okay for us to be doing this..? Dad will kill us if he finds us out here without him or Mom..” Natsuo quietly asks, his body language screaming how nervous he is as they all walk along.

Toya lets out an annoyed huff, waving a dismissive hand in the air, “If you’re going to be such a scared little baby, then you can go back to the house.” He says without turning around to face his younger brother.

“We’ll be fine, Nats. We’ll only be down at the beach for a bit; play in some waves, make sandcastles, admire the stars or whatever, then we’ll head back.” Azusa tells Natsuo, reassuringly wrapping an arm over his shoulders.

“Yeah, Nats! C’mon, this is going to be so fun! It’s a full moon tonight, so we have plenty of light to play wave tag in!” Fuyumi exclaims with a wide smile as she skips across the sand.

With another huff, this time one of slight guilt for being snappish, Toya turns around to face his three siblings, “Exactly what they said, Squirt. Look, I just want to make the most of this vacation. You know that Dad doesn’t get a lot of leave days, so who knows when we’ll be back and dammit a night swim at the beach is something everyone should experience! Even you brats!” He lightheartedly jabs with a playful smile as he continues to walk backward on the beach.

“Hey-”

“-m not a brat-”

“Toyaaaa-”

Azusa, Natsuo, and Fuyumi all playfully whine out with giggles and smiles on their faces as they all charge their older brother. A game of tag ensues; laughs echo in the air, sand and water being flung at one another, and pure joy exudes from each of the Todoroki siblings.

A yelp escapes Azusa’s mouth when she feels Toya squish a fat handful of sand into the top of her head, ensuring that grains of sand bury themselves in her hair.

“Oh my god, Toya! You are so dea-”

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

“Attention Rangers, report to the Mess Hall for breakfast, then report to Bay 3 at 0600 immediately following breakfast for your co-pilot and Jaeger assignments. Attention Rangers, report-”

Azusa groans at the AI voice grating at her ears and she blindly reaches a hand out to shut off the alarm and the accompanying repetitive message. As she pulls herself from her bed, she tries to cling to the faint feeling of happiness she gained from the memory she relived in her sleep. She makes her way to her dresser, pausing before opening up the sock drawer to pick up a photo of her late brother.

“Today is the day I officially become a pilot, Toya.. I’ll even get to pilot your old Jaeger. D-don’t worry, Toya, I’ll m-make sure t-to take care of her f-for you.” Azusa whispers to the photo, barely getting her promise out past the painful lump in her throat. She gently sets the photo back down on the dresser and takes a few deep breaths then proceeds to get ready for the day.

Once dressed and as mentally ready as she can be, Azusa leaves her room and heads for the Mess Hall. Fuyumi never showed up to accompany her, which happens from time to time especially when Rangers are woken up earlier than usual. A small and quiet voice whispers how much it wants to be in bed still in the back of Azusa’s mind as the elevator descends. She lets out a tired sigh as she steps off of the elevator when it stops but quickly rights herself out as she enters the Mess Hall.

Azusa heads for the food line when she’s roughly shoulder-checked by somebody quickly moving past her. “Watch it,” she hisses out just before she registers the tall, broad, and blonde-haired being cutting in front of her. Sticking up his middle finger, Bakugo turns to shoot Azusa an arrogant smirk before turning back toward the stack of trays at the start of the food line. Azusa’s jaw clenches, her blood immediately boiling, but before she can spit any venom at Bakugo, Kendo and Tetsutetsu come up to her.

“Asshole,” Kendo says harshly under her breath as she casts a glare at the back of Bakugo’s head.

“I feel sorry for whoever his co-pilot ends up being,” Tetsutetsu adds as the three of them grab their trays and join the food line.

“Hopefully whoever it is can help him pull his head out of his ass.” Azusa quips quietly, causing her two friends to snicker as all three of them watch Bakugo’s knuckles go white from how hard he grips his tray.

Breakfast goes by without any more spats, surprisingly enough to Azusa. She had to hide it in the moment but she was genuinely shocked that Bakugo hadn’t attempted to fight the trio when they were shit-talking him literally right behind his back. All she had gotten for her comment was an ugly, snarl-twisted glare shot at her before he stomped off to “his” table.

All too soon, Rangers across the entire Mess Hall began standing to clear their places and head for the Shatterdome. An air of nervousness and excitement settles amongst the collective of newly graduated Rangers as they all gather around the elevators. Azusa blankets her nerves with perpetual stoicism and forced calm. She observes that Kendo has chosen to take occasional deep breaths while Tetsutetsu finds that yammering on endlessly about random crap soothes his nerves. It’s only when the group of new Rangers are all standing at attention at the mouth of Bay 3 with Marshal Todoroki and Marshal Aizawa in front of them that a suffocating silence ensue.

Marshal Todoroki’s judgmental gaze sweeps over the group as Marshal Aizawa’s stern gaze serves as a silent reminder to take this seriously. Marshal Todoroki clears his throat, making everyone tighten up their positions.

“At ease, Rangers.” Marshal Todoroki finally says after a couple of moments of tense silence. “Before we announce the co-pilot pairings and Jaeger assignments, I wanted to remind you all that this is not a game. This is not your childhood dream nor is it your chance at 15 minutes of fame. This is war. You are Rangers now, fighting for the sake of saving humanity.” Marshal Todoroki firmly states, his tone deadly serious.

“This is reality and in this reality, in this war, you are all putting your lives on the line. You may die. Your co-pilots may die. Your friends may die. But with those facts of this hellish reality looming over our heads, I thank you for your service and hope that you all live to see the day we win this war.” Marshal Todoroki ends his speech, both he and Marshal Aizawa straightening up and saluting.

The group of Rangers, collectively torn between shitting their pants from fear and keeping their cool, straightens up and salutes back. Azusa, while fully grasping the seriousness of the situation, inwardly cringes a bit at the lack of encouragement from her father. ‘Did I really expect him to be any sort of encouraging, though?’ She ponders bitterly as she and the rest of the group relax their positions.

“Onto announcing the co-pilot pairings and Jaeger assignments,” Marshal Aizawa says, drawing every pair of anticipation-filled eyes on him.

As Marshal Aizawa read off the names of pairs of co-pilots and their assigned Jaegers, Azusa’s stomach began to churn a bit. As much as she tried to will away the feelings of nervousness and slight dread, the roiling feeling refused to go. Occasionally her eyes connected with those of her father’s, making matching his steely and stoic gaze the only easy thing about this whole event.

“Rangers Kirishima and Tetsutetsu, you both will be the pilots of the Jaeger; Steel Riot.” Marshal Aizawa announces, then sends a sharp glare at the two as they move to high-five and cheer, stopping them in their tracks.

“Rangers Hado and Kendo, you both will be piloting the Jaeger; Battle Fist.” Marshal Aizawa continues, letting the smiles the girls shoot each other slide despite the air of professionalism.

“Rangers Bakugo and Todoroki, both of you will be piloting the Jaeger; Bravo Inferno.” Marshal Aizawa says, casting a slightly wary glance between Azusa and Bakugo.

As soon as she had heard Bakugo’s name in the same sentence as hers, every single other word out of the man’s mouth became muffled by static. Her stomach now burns with a nasty mix of anger, dread, and loathing. She hears a curse-filled outburst that undoubtedly comes from Bakugo, but she is too focused on glaring at her father to acknowledge the brash blonde.

Marshal Todoroki pointedly avoids meeting Azusa’s eyes, his stoic gaze shifting over the other Rangers. Azusa clenches her jaw, her teeth grinding together as she continues to glare, half registering the stern words from Marshal Aizawa’s reprimand toward Bakugo. She can’t understand why her father or Marshal Aizawa thought that pairing her with Bakugo would be a good idea.

‘There is absolutely no way we will be able to work together, let alone Drift smoothly! This doesn’t make any fucking sense! He’s a stubborn asshole who will get us both killed if we’re even able to Drift successfully! Son of a fucking bitch-’ Azusa seethes as she half listens to Marshal Aizawa continue with assignments. Eventually, the assignment announcements come to an end and the group of Rangers are being led to Loccent’s command center while the first Jaeger and its pilots are being prepped for their first test run.

Azusa and the other newly graduated Rangers watch as team after team take their turns with their Jaegers, going through their first Drifts. Her peers cheer and congratulate each other with every successful display. Azusa offers her own words of praise when Tetsu and Kendo come back from each of their own successful Drift sequences with their co-pilots. Finally, the moment that she has been dreading comes when Marshal Aizawa tells her and Bakugo to go suit up.

The tense and rage-filled air between Azusa and Bakugo could be cut with a knife as the two don’t utter a word, let alone spare a glance at each other while techs help them suit up. The two enter the Conn-Pod of Bravo Inferno, Bakugo stomping his way over to the right-side pilot harness without even asking what side Azusa would prefer. As much as she would have preferred piloting from the right, she lets it go with an annoyed roll of her eyes.

Mechanisms lock Azusa into place when she steps into the foot-holds and places her back against the harness. The soft hissing and clicks coming from her right tell her that Bakugo hasn’t decided to leave the Conn-Pod in an anger-filled rage. Azusa takes a deep breath, using the cool oxygen being pumped into her helmet as an aid to shove down her growing dread.

“Alright, Rangers, let yourselves flow through the Drift. Remember Random Access Brain Impulse Triggers, or RABIT, don’t chase it and don’t fight it. Just like in your simulations, do not get stuck in the memories. Are you ready?” Marshal Aizawa’s voice coaches through the Comms, his voice firm but holding the slightest amount of hesitance.

“Whatever! Let’s just get this over with!” Bakugo snarls out, smothering her confirmation of readiness. Marshal Aizawa doesn’t even bother reprimanding him, just lets out a tired sigh before getting off of the Comms.

Azusa straightens up and tries to force the tension from her body as the AI voice speaking through the Comms counts down the seconds til neural handshake. She leans back a bit and closes her eyes, the final seconds ticking down. A gasp is ripped from her mouth and her body jerks as her consciousness is sucked into a flurry of memories, both hers and Bakugo’s.

Flashes of her childhood play before her eyes, good moments blurring together into bad. She sees herself running around and laughing as she chases her siblings. Watches as her past self cheers and gloats over beating Toya in a video game. Feels it when memories of her father angrily shouting at her and her siblings when they did something wrong or embarrassed him in some way fly by. Unaware of her body’s labored breathing, new memories flash across her mind’s eye, memories that are new to her but not to Bakugo.

Azusa watches as a younger version of the blonde marches across a playground seemingly commanding those that follow him. Another memory bleeds through and she sees an older, female version of Bakugo cleaning his younger version’s knee. The woman, his mother Azusa assumes, says something that makes Bakugo’s younger self reluctantly giggle before that memory fades into another. This time, Azusa sees a teenage Bakugo gripping tightly onto a family photo. His face is twisted into anger and anguish, tears sliding down his cheeks and his jaw clenched. Everything fades out completely and with another gasp, Azusa is dropped back into reality, feelings and thoughts that aren’t hers invading her brain.

“Right hemisphere calibrating,” the AI voice from before guides, as Azusa and Bakugo lift their right hands up in sync.

“Left hemisphere calibrating,” the AI continues, Bakugo and Azusa raising their left hands up in sync.

“Holy shit,” Bakugo breathes out over the Comms and Azusa can feel his awe as much as she can feel her own.

The pair’s thoughts fall into sync seamlessly as they move to show off a bit. Moving together fluidly the two raise their fists and bend their knees, getting themselves and the massive machine they now control into a fighting position. Feeding off of the impressed looks and cheers from onlookers, they quickly move into a different stance. Their brains and bodies following the same train of thought, they straighten up and bring one fisted hand to the palm of their opened one. Bakugo’s overwhelmingly confident and flashy ego reminds Azusa of Toya, a bit of sadness flashing through her mind when-

“Where the fuck is he?! Where is Toya?! He can’t be dead! Please, no no no-”

Flinching at the painful drop back into reality, Azusa groans and tries to make out what the voices she’s hearing are saying, “-roki and Ranger Bakugo, you are both out of alignment! Please try to re-stabilize yourselves!” Iida’s slightly panicked voice rings through Azusa’s ears.

“I-I’m sorry, I’m good now-” Azusa tries to say, but she is cut off by Marshal Aizawa getting on the Comms.

“You’re stabilizing, Todoroki, but Bakugo is still way out of it! Bring him back, now!” Marshal Aizawa commands with urgency.

“Dammit- Bakugo, listen to me! Snap out of it! It’s just a memory, you have to come back to reality!” Azusa shouts across the three-foot gap between her and Bakugo.

Unfortunately, nothing seems to be getting through to the blonde as he stands in place, stock still. His eyes have a faraway look in them, his face fearful and his hands clenched into fists at his sides. But Azusa keeps trying to get to him, closing her eyes and sinking into her mind to try to find where his went.

When she opens her eyes again it’s raining and she’s standing among the rubble remains of a building. Her gaze sweeps the area, not finding her co-pilot anywhere but instead catching on the form of his younger self. This version of Bakugo appears to be the same teenage version from the earlier memory. Once again, she looks around at all of the broken pieces of the building and pieces together that it used to be an apartment complex.

She looks back at teenage Bakugo when she hears him cough and groan as he moves to sit up from where he is lying. In the distance, she can hear helicopters and there’s a slight rumble from the ground beneath her, but all she can focus on is the boy in front of her. Teenage Bakugo stands up slowly with a dazed and pained look on his face as he grabs at his bleeding torso. More blood runs down the side of his face from his hairline and overall he doesn’t look too good.

Azusa watches as he looks around, clarity coming back to him as concern floods his features. He stumbles forward, desperately searching for something among the rubble surrounding them.

“Ma? Pops?” He calls out, his raspy and cracking voice echoing throughout the destroyed landscape. A few tears escape his eyes and he furiously wipes them away before continuing his search for his parents. A few feet away from where he had woken up, Bakugo stops cold in his tracks.

“N-no,” he brokenly whispers out, looking down at a pile of broken concrete slabs.

Azusa slowly walks up behind him, morbid curiosity getting the better of her, admittedly. A horrified gasp leaves her mouth as her stomach lurches at the sight of a hand sticking out from beneath the rubble. Slender fingers lay slightly crumpled and limp on the ground, a silver wedding band coated in dust sitting snugly on the ring finger. Acid burns at the back of Azusa’s throat when she recognizes the small ruby adorning the ring.

“No, no, no! Damn it!” Bakugo’s gut-wrenching shouting breaks Azusa’s attention away from her horrible realization.

Turning to her left, Azusa sees teenage Bakugo on his knees next to a body half-covered by rubble. Part of a re-bar sticks out of the side of the body’s chest and her nausea hits full force, once more, as Azusa walks over to Bakugo. When she reaches him, his face is buried in his hands as he sobs and his shoulders shake violently. Azusa looks down at the body before them and with a broken heart she realizes that it’s the man from the family photo from the other memory; Bakugo’s father.

Lost within the shared feelings of loss, grief, and pain, neither she nor Bakugo registers the sound of emergency personnel making their arrival. It’s only when a paramedic is crouched down in front of Bakugo do either of them briefly break from their grief. Bakugo, expressionless and silent, gets ushered to an ambulance with a dust-covered picture frame in his hands, the glass of it shattered and the whole thing is overall broken.

Teenage Bakugo passing out in the back of that ambulance is what snaps them back to reality, both of their bodies giving out on them. Alarms are blaring throughout the Conn-Pod and voices shout at them through the Comms. Looking out of the window of the Conn-Pod, Azusa watches the arms of the Jaeger slowly fall to its sides. As the glow of them fades out, she realizes that one of the weapons had been engaged during the traumatic flashback and a dulled shiver runs down her spine.

Ignoring the continued shouting from whoever is on the Comms, Azusa removes her helmet and releases herself from her harness. She rushes over to Bakugo, hands out ready to steady the man as he stumbles from his harness’s release. He rights himself, though, and shakes the look of sadness from his face to replace it with a harsh glare. He rips his helmet off as he steps away from Azusa.

“Get the fuck away from me.” He seethes out before running a hand over his face to wipe away the remaining tears. Shoving past her with little care, Bakugo storms his way out of the Conn-Pod leaving Azusa alone to deal with the torrent of emotions flooding her brain.

Note ~ Let me know if there are any tags I should add! I love and appreciate every single one of you, Lovelies! <3

Taglist ~ @tomiokasecretlover

Of Monsters and Men | Bakugo Katsuki x OC

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven |

Tags/Warnings ~ Fem!OC, angst, hurt/comfort, eventual fluff, enemies to lovers, potentially triggering content, universe-typical violence, Enji Todoroki (yes, that is a warning, he's trash), character death, (more tags to be added as story develops <3)

Note ~ Loveliiiieeessss!! Let me know what you think of the story so far!! If I'm being totally open with yall this story is my passion project and I'm a bit hyper-focused on it.. but if yall have any xReader ideas/requests don't be afraid to hit that ask button! Obviously, I love writing for Katsuki, but I'm also comfortable writing for Izuku, Shota, possibly Hawks.. If you have a request just send it in and I'll let ya know if I feel I can accomplish writing something up to your expectations! Enough of my rambles, enjoy the read! <3

Enji had managed to keep up his neutral facade despite the bubble of pride that had welled up inside of him at the sight of his daughter piloting his old Jaeger. He even congratulated himself for being correct in his assumption that Azusa and Bakugo would Drift well together. Watching the two exercise perfect control over Bravo Inferno and perform little tricks was admittedly quite entertaining. That was until his bubble of pride was harshly burst by the sound of the system’s AI telling Loccent that the pilots had gone out of alignment.

He watched with masked panic as Iida and Aizawa tried to get the two pilots stabilized again. Fear and embarrassment flooded him when he watched the arms of Bravo Inferno rise, the Jaeger’s palms beginning to glow molten red. Rangers and techs hurried out of the Loccent Command Center as seasoned Rangers cleared the observation platforms just outside.

“Pull the main power line!” Enji had shouted to Aizawa before he could even think about what else to do.

Aizawa was on the task in an instant, pulling at the large cable with all of his might. Finally, with one last grunt of effort, he pulled the plug from the control panel. Enji looked out to the Jaeger, watching with hidden relief as it began powering down. That’s when the anger began settling into his bones.

~~~~~~~~~~

“This is exactly why I wanted to pilot by myself! If she hadn’t gone out of alignment first, then none of that other shit would have happened! You’ve seen my damn sim scores, you know that I would never fuck up like that if it was just me in that Jae-”

“That’s enough, Ranger!” Enji’s sharp tone effectively cuts Bakugo off from his ranting. “You know damn well that you cannot pilot a Jaeger by yourself, no matter how good your simulation scores are-”

Bakugo exasperatedly cuts Enji off, acting like a petulant child, “You’ve done it before! You brought Mighty Endeavor back on your own-”

“Because my co-pilot died! Yes, I finished off that Kaiju and dragged my Jaeger back to the Shatterdome by myself, but I had to because my co-pilot was dead in his harness right next to me.” Enji bites out, anger twisting his features as he steps closer to Bakugo whose mouth is clamped shut with eyes averted to the floor.

“And do you know what happened after I got back from piloting that Jaeger by myself?” Enji asks half rhetorically, but he pauses and waits for an answer anyway, and Bakugo shakes his head.

“I became so sick from the radiation that I was bedridden. My body burned like I was on fire and I could barely keep conscious. For three fucking days, I was like that.” Enji grits out before he releases a tired sigh and partially turns away from Bakugo. “We still do not have the technology to run single-pilot Jaegers, and I refuse to purposefully put any Ranger through what I went through. Marshal Aizawa and I will talk about what happened today and decide what to do about your co-pilot pairing. You are dismissed, Ranger.”

Bakugo bows slightly and, surprisingly enough, leaves without another word. Enji takes a moment to recollect himself, trying to calm the anger racing through his veins, but then there’s a knock at his office door. Crossing his arms to hide his clenched fists, Enji tells the Ranger at his door to come in. The metal door squeaks as it opens and closes, Azusa walking into the office. She doesn’t sit but rather comes to stand a couple of feet in front of Enji. Her face is neutral, but her eyes hold a bit of anxiety among the rage and her anger only aids in fueling Enji’s own.

“Marshal Todoroki, I-” Azusa begins, but Enji doesn’t let her get very far with her sentence.

“What the fuck happened out there, Azusa?!” Enji starts, immediately letting his anger boil over as he lays into her. “You know, one look at your simulation scores would lead anyone to believe that you would be a strong candidate for becoming a pilot! But what I saw happen out there was pathetic and embarrassing! Who would have thought that the Marshal’s daughter would pull a fucking stunt like that causing another Ranger to fail! You let your co-pilot down today, Azusa! You let me down! You were an embarrassment to every single one of the Rangers observing!”

By this point, Enji is too caught up in his anger to even realize that Azusa has started silently crying in front of him. He can’t stop himself from yelling, can’t stop himself from spitting venomous comment after venomous comment. Deep down, very deep down, he knows that she didn’t do anything substantially wrong, but his pride and his ego won’t let him quiet down.

“What you displayed out there today was that you are no better than the Rangers that just got dropped here from boot camp! No child of mine would have made such an embarrassment out of the Todoroki name like that! You almost caused hundreds of deaths and millions of dollars in damages! Do you realize that?!” Enji spits, his shouting echoing off of the walls of his office as Azusa cowers in front of him.

What Enji says next slips too fast from his mouth to stop in time and he regrets them as soon as the words are spoken, “Toya would be incredibly disappointed in you! You don’t even deserve to pilot Bravo Inferno!”

A sharp gasp knocks some reality back into Enji along with the weight of the words he just shouted into his daughter’s face, and he looks down at her. Horrified shock fills her features as much as it does his, but sharing his shock is immense guilt. Enji is at a loss for words as he tries to think of how to take back or amend what just flew from his mouth. Floundering, he just stares at Azusa’s tear-soaked face, her hurt practically palpable in the air around them.

“Azusa, I-I didn’t mea-”

“Don’t.” She states quietly, making Enji’s words die in his throat. “I-I understood you loud and clear, M-Marshal. Permission to be dismissed, Sir?” Her voice is strained as she speaks and she’s just barely able to stand up straight and look Enji in the eye. All Enji can do is nod since the lump in his throat won’t let him speak.

He watches helplessly as she flees from the room, the door slamming shut behind her. Stunned by his own behavior, Enji slowly moves around his desk to sit down. Leaning forward to rest his elbows on the desk, he buries his face in his hands. He doesn’t know how he’s even going to attempt to fix this kind of fuck up. He isn’t sure that Rei will be able to soothe over the hurt that he’s caused. She may not even be willing to offer him advice on the situation, not that he would blame her.

Enji spends more than a few minutes recollecting himself before calling Aizawa to his office. He’s exhausted now, all of his anger replaced by insurmountable guilt. He let his ego, his pride over his esteemed reputation, win just like so many other times in the past. Enji is the one who let Toya down today, not Azusa, and he fears that he really won’t be able to get his daughter back now.

Knocking pulls Enji out of his spiraling thoughts and he clears his throat before telling Aizawa to enter.

Aizawa enters the room quietly, closing the door behind him before he makes his way over to the chair in front of Enji’s desk. Aizawa just stares at the man for a few moments before letting out his famous tired sigh.

“What happened today was nobody’s fault, Enji. We both know that the chances of something like that happening during a team’s first Drift is highly possible. I’m just surprised that it didn’t happen with more of the other teams.” Aizawa says as he leans back in the chair, tipping his head back and closing his eyes.

At Enji’s silence, Aizawa decides to move the conversation forward himself, “So did either of them request a different co-pilot? I’m sure we can switch the teams around, make it work.”

“No,” Enji utters exhaustively, deciding to end his silent brooding. “Bakugo just requested, yet again, to pilot by himself but I sorted that out already. We’ll keep Azu- Ranger Todoroki and Ranger Bakugo as co-pilots for Bravo Inferno, but we won’t send them out on any deployments until they go through a few more trial Drifts.” He states as he clasps his hands and rests his chin on them.

Aizawa straightens up in his seat, raising a questioning eyebrow at him, “I know that I kind of just advocated for them, but are you sure you don’t want to try putting them with other Rangers? I witnessed, just as you did, that they have the potential to work well together, but if they go out of alignment again and neither of them can bring the other back.. They won’t make it out in the field like that, Enji.”

“That’s why we’ll have them run through a few more trial Drifts. If this was a one-off type of situation, then they’ll be just fine. And if it happens again, we’ll either see if they can bring each other out of it or we’ll pair them off with other pilots.” Enji firmly states with a bit of frustration.

Aizawa relents with a sigh, scrubbing a hand over his face, “Fine. I’ll have their Jaeger sent to one of the Bays with less foot traffic so that when they try again tomorrow there’s less of a chance for catastrophe if something goes wrong again.” He says as he types out the message on his tablet, then sends it to the crew in the Shatterdome.

Aizawa then looks up at Enji, the man being able to read him like a book after working with him for so long, “So how hard were you on her?” His tone is knowing but free of any real judgment.

“Too hard.” Enji admits reluctantly before continuing, “I said things that I shouldn’t have.. I wouldn’t blame her if she honest to god hates me now.” He finishes quietly.

“Well, I don’t know shit about parenting, so it’s up to you to figure out how to fix it, but do you want me to go talk to her?” Aizawa offers with tired nonchalance.

The perpetually exhausted man has worked with Enji for so long that Azusa along with her siblings sees Aizawa as family, or a mentor at the very least. Azusa has always gone to Aizawa if she needed to talk through some stuff, especially after Toya’s passing. So, Enji ponders the offer for a minute, thinking that it may help Azusa to have someone to talk to after what all just went down.

“It’s up to you, Shota,” Enji says with a long sigh. “She may not want to talk to anyone right now.” He says with defeat, leaning back in his chair and rubbing his hands over his face.

“Well, I’ll try stopping by her bunk, knock a few times, and if she doesn’t answer then I’ll leave her be,” Aizawa says as he stands up, wincing a bit when his knees crack loudly. “Try not to spend all day cooped up in here, Enji. Go get something to eat, scare the new Rangers, just anything to get you out of this office.”

Aizawa’s attempt at humor doesn’t do much to pull Enji out of his self-loathing, but he appreciates it all the same, “See you later, Shota.”

Shota leaves with a half-assed wave and Enji is left alone with his thoughts, once again. He thinks about stopping by the family bunker to see Rei, hoping that Azusa hasn’t talked to her yet so that he can have a few moments of peace with his wife before he tells her himself about just how badly he messed up this time.

Note ~ Lemme know if there are any tags I should add! I love and appreciate you, Lovelies! <3

Taglist ~ @tomiokasecretlover

The Greatest | Bakugo Katsuki x Reader

The Ask/Inspo for this fic can be found in this post.

TRIGGER WARNING - !!SUICIDE!! DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT IN A GOOD STATE OF MIND AND PLEASE REACH OUT TO SOMEBODY IF YOU NEED HELP! YOU ARE LOVED AND YOU DO MATTER!

Additional Tags ~ Fem!Reader, cheating, bad mental health, HEAVY ANGST, hurt no comfort, mentions of blood, Idk let me know if I should add other tags..

Being in love with and loving Katsuki hasn’t always been easy. He can be loud, brash, and uncaring of hurting one’s feelings. Sure, he’s matured over the few years it’s been since graduating from UA, but he’s still rough around the edges. Even so, his personality didn’t scare you away back then at UA, and it surely doesn’t now.

When you first met Katsuki, you were a Support Course student. You were in the top three for your class, and just as ambitious as Mei Hatsume. Though you were far more tame than the pink-haired girl, the two of you became very close friends. You were, and still are, the hidden crazy to Mei’s in-your-face crazy. Your friendship with her along with her oblivious, borderline ditzy way of going about things were the driving reasons behind you almost asking her to swap who you’d been assigned with from Hero Course 1-A.

As it had turned out, swapping wasn’t allowed, so you had been stuck with making and fixing support gear for UA’s most explosive student. There was a lot of clashing of personalities at the start of your partnership, but after proving yourself to him, he managed to tone his attitude down some. Not long after he had managed to get over himself, there were a lot of after-school costume discussions. As well as many times Katsuki just silently and intently watched you work on his gauntlets, observing and learning what he could fix himself. Naturally, after all that time spent together, you couldn’t help but fall for him at least a little bit.

Unfortunately, you never had the guts to say anything to him, plus you realized just how focused he was on being a hero. Then graduation came and you both went your separate ways, your previous partnership nothing more than a school assignment. That happened with nearly all of the other partnerships between the Hero Course and the Support Course. You were just sad that you hadn’t gotten to see Katsuki one last time, to wish him well or tell him you enjoyed working with him or something..

~~~~~~~~~~

As the years went by after graduation, you worked your way through different levels of Support Gear Engineering with a decently known company. You weren’t surprised when Mei was able to get her own company up and running in that time. It also wasn’t a surprise when Mei asked you to come work for her. You agreed in a heartbeat and not long after, Mei signed a contract with DynaDeku Agency. Suddenly, you were seeing Katsuki almost every other day versus the rare night out that Mei would drag you to with Deku and his friends. But seeing him more only worsened your.. pining.

Conversations were always work-related, never anything more than talks of new gear or upgrades to current gear. It’s not like you never tried to push for a more casual conversation. But every ‘How’s your day going’ was met with a silent and questioning glare. You hid your feelings of hurt and rejection with warm smiles every time.

You kept your admiration to yourself. You cheered Katsuki on from the sidelines like you were nothing more than any of his other fans he’d never met. But you longed for him to see you as more than ‘that one support chick’ as he so eloquently referred to you as more often than not. You longed for him to see you. Instead, you watched as he took his sights off of his hero career for a moment just to look toward his fellow hero, Uravity.

In the short time that they were together, you had thought that they had made an odd couple. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but you just felt like they weren’t very right for each other. The feeling wasn’t entirely from a place of jealousy, you’d honestly thought you maybe wouldn’t fit any better with him, despite your feelings for him. There was just something about them being together that hadn’t made a whole lot of sense to you.

You’d figured that they must have discovered what it was because just a few months after they announced their relationship to friends, they broke up. Neither of them was all that torn up about it, which you had found odd, at least when it came to Uraraka. The pink-cheeked woman hadn’t been the mess that you’d thought she’d be considering how borderline clingy she had been with Katsuki. Instead, whenever you saw her at nights out with everyone, she was smiling and bubbly like nothing ever happened.

You didn’t waste any real time picking apart either hers or Katsuki’s behaviors, though. It wasn’t any of your business, and quite frankly, you didn’t care about how Uraraka moved on with her life. In all honesty, a secret part of you was just happy to once again have the chance to try to put yourself on Katsuki’s radar. You had mustered up all of your courage and confidence to put yourself out there a little bit more. It felt like it had taken forever, but finally, your efforts were noticed. The day Katsuki asked you out to dinner was so surreal that you couldn’t believe that it wasn’t just a dream.

~~~~~~~~~~

It’s been a little over seven months since that first date. At the start of your relationship, things were a bit awkward but fun and quite surprising. You were secretly shocked to find out just how sweet Katsuki can be in his own way. You’d learned that he speaks through actions, and not so much through words. You’d learned that behind closed doors, he’s calm and gentle and caring.

Those first few months were full of enough sappy moments to make even Cupid sick to his stomach. There were nights of home-cooked meals made by Katsuki’s very talented hands. Rare coinciding days off from work were spent watching movies and cuddling. Passionate moments of heated kisses and love-making. It used to make your head spin just how loving Katsuki could be. But every couple moves out of the honeymoon phase and learns something more about each other.

What’s the thing you’ve learned within the last three months? Katsuki Bakugo is a fucking liar.

That warm, loving, cared-for feeling that used to spread through your chest has grown cold. You’ve gotten good at faking it though, plastering a loving smile on your face when you’re with him. Feigning that warm tone whenever you tell him that you love him. It’s not that you don’t, not that you’ve stopped loving him.. It’s just gotten hard to say those three stupid words since that first lie slid so easily off of his tongue.

You suppose that you could say that you’ve also learned that with all of his smarts, Katsuki is fucking stupid. It seems that in the years since being partners at UA, your loving boyfriend has forgotten what your Quirk is and what it does.. Because you can’t imagine that he would be doing what he’s doing with that kind of knowledge at the forefront of his brain.

Your Quirk is called Polygraph. Whenever somebody lies to you, your Quirk will automatically activate, resulting in a spike in your heart rate. It’s the kind of Quirk you know would have been useful in police work, but you’ve always had a love for inventing things. Your Uncle Naomasa still tries to get you to switch careers, despite the name you’ve made for yourself in the Support Engineering world.

One would think that with Katsuki having to work with the police, mainly Detective Naomasa Tsukauchi, that he would remember a detail such as your Quirk. Or how about the fact that most boyfriends remember their girlfriend’s fucking Quirk, flashy or not?? But with every lie that comes out of his mouth about where he’s going or who he’s hanging out with or who is fucking texting him, it’s painfully apparent that he doesn’t. He just speaks and you have to ignore the spike in your heart rate and paint on an oblivious smile.

~~~~~~~~~~

You feel almost numb when Katsuki kisses you goodbye. He tells you that he’ll have to stay late at the office to do some paperwork and your heart rate spikes at the lie. You fake a pout as you nod, and he sends you a smirk.

“Promise to make it up to you, so wipe that sexy lil pout off your face. C’mere,” he says, making your stomach churn unpleasantly, before pulling you into a hug.

“Be safe out there,” you murmur against him, and you mean it despite knowing that he isn’t being truthful about staying out late.

“Always am, Sweetheart. Enjoy your day off, ‘kay? Love you.” He murmurs back before kissing your forehead, and you bite back nausea as you tell him you love him. As you watch him leave, you ask yourself for the billionth time how isn’t he lying about loving you when he’s doing something that would make it so obvious that he doesn’t even care about you.

You wait your usual 30 minutes to an hour after he leaves, making sure that he doesn’t come back because he forgot something, before grabbing your laptop. You sit back down on the couch with the device in your lap and numbly navigate to the locked file you have hidden away. You click on it, enter the password, and then pull up the contents of the file. You stare at the hundreds of screenshots you’ve collected over the last three months of conversations and photos, nearly emotionless. After a couple of moments, when you start to feel the sting of tears welling up in your eyes, you open your web browser. You sign into the secret email you created when you first started gathering evidence of Katsuki’s infidelity. Once you’ve signed in, you make quick work of adding the most recent screenshots you’ve gotten to the file.

The heartbreaking shock of discovering that it’s Uraraka that Katsuki has been seeing behind your back has long since worn off. The whole damn situation has just become some sick kind of surreal. You’ve repeated her name so much in your mind that it doesn’t even seem like a real name anymore. You’ve read so many dirty messages between the two of them that the rage has turned to cold numbness. You’ve seen both of their nudes so many times by now that Uraraka’s bare body doesn’t bring up the repulsion you once felt. It all just makes you feel so far past hurt that all you can truly feel is numb.

You watch as the screenshots load into the file, your eyes blankly scanning over words until your gaze catches. You stare at a specific message you hadn’t noticed when you’d gone through Katsuki’s phone to collect more evidence. A single line standing out from the rest of Uraraka’s messages to your boyfriend;

“I still love you, Kats..”

That single line throws you over the edge you were teetering on. You practically throw your laptop onto the couch cushions as you rush to get up. You barely make it to the bathroom, crashing to your knees in front of the toilet as you vomit. Tears stream down your face as your body tries to expel everything inside of you. Your nose runs as your throat burns, and you dry heave a few times as sobs rip from your chest. You wipe your mouth and nose with toilet paper, then shift to sit against the bathtub. Loud, painful, and anguished sobs echo off of the bathroom walls. You don’t even know what Katsuki had said in response to her confession, but you don’t need to know. The fact that he’s still sneaking off to sleep with her is telling enough. Stomach acid burns at your throat again as the message flashes behind your tightly screwed eyelids, and you heave into the toilet once more.

When you finally feel like there’s nothing more for your stomach to expel, you wipe your face. The tears and sobs continue relentlessly as you stand, flush the toilet, then make your way to the sink. You rinse your mouth out, the minty mouthwash burning more than usual before you spit it out. As you straighten back up, wiping your mouth on the hand towel, you lock eyes with your disheveled reflection. Suddenly, you’re seeing red as all of your rage floods your mind and body. A scream tears from your throat as your fist flies into the mirror, shattering it. Your mind clears a bit as you stare down at the shattered glass. Your now bleeding hand looks like it should hurt, but you don’t feel the split knuckles or cuts from the glass. All you can feel is the emotional turmoil that’s consumed your very being.

You make your way back to the living room, leaving the mess of glass and blood in the sink. You stumble the whole way back to the couch, tripping over your feet and your knees giving out from how hard you’re sobbing. You practically fall onto the couch, grabbing your phone off of the coffee table, uncaring of the blood you’re getting on the device. With shaking hands, you unlock your phone, navigating through your contacts while half-blind from tears. You hit the call icon as soon as you reach the contact you’ve been searching for.

“Pleasepleasepleaseplease-” You mutter, you pray, between sobs as the line rings.

“Too busy with my babies! Leave a message I may or may not listen to!” Mei’s voicemail message chirps brightly into your ear, and a whining sob leaves your throat as the beep rings out and cues you to leave a message.

“I-I Lo-love y-you, M-Mei.. P-pl-please, al-ways re-remember th-that..” You stutter and sob out before hanging up and burying your face in your hands.

After a few moments of soaking your hands in tears, you bring your head up. With closed eyes, you roll your shoulders back, wipe your hands on your pants, and try to take deep and even breaths. Only once you’ve regained some sense of calm and control over yourself, do you open your eyes. You let your mind sink back into that comfortable numb you’ve grown acquainted with over time. You stand up from the couch and almost robotically, you head for the storage closet. It takes a bit of digging through boxes, but you finally find them.. Letters to your closest family members and friends.

The letters are abandoned products of your deepest, darkest secret. You have been struggling for years now. To everyone around you, even your parents, you’re kind and happy and kind of shy and stable.. But the you in the mirror knows about every single self-deprecating, withering, hatred-filled thought. Something in your mind is broken, always had been, but it never needed to be anyone else’s problem. You are the only one who has ever needed to worry about the fact that you’ve had one foot hanging off of the edge. Besides, you’re the only one who can keep yourself from giving in to the call of an unseen dark abyss, its voice warm and holding promises of relief.

You carefully lay the letters out on the kitchen table. You grab your laptop from the couch and place it neatly on the table. You pause for a moment and look down at yourself. You make your way to the bedroom and change into your favorite outfit because fuck that if you were going to die in your damn pajamas.

You make your way back to the table and unconsciously go through the steps of sending the file of evidence you’ve collected to Katsuki and Uraraka. You contemplate sending the file to your shared friends for one spite-filled moment, but ultimately decide against it. You set your laptop settings to stay on and unlocked, plug the charger into it, and pull up the note that has passwords to all of your various accounts. Who knows what people might need when you’re gone?

With one last painful glance around the apartment, you head for the door. You slip on your favorite pair of shoes and leave the apartment. You make your way to the roof of the complex, which is a far easier task than you feel like it should have been. You walk to the edge and take off your shoes, placing them neatly off to the side. Climbing up onto the ledge, the wind blows lightly and it actually feels exhilarating as you fully stand up. You startle when your phone begins ringing, and you can’t recall when you slipped it into your pocket. Taking it out, a small bout of manic laughter leaves your lips at the caller ID. When you slide the accept icon, a streak of blood follows. Apparently, your hand hasn’t stopped bleeding and that makes you laugh harder for some reason.

“Hey Love, what’s-” You begin deliriously before being cut off.

“What’s with this email, Sweetheart? H-how did you..” Katsuki with an uncharacteristic quietness to his voice, with feigned confusion to cover the guilt.

Every emotion drains from you in an instant and your grip on your phone tightens, “Don’t play dumb, Katsuki. Everything in that email came directly from your phone.” You say in a tone so cold and emotionless that it makes Katsuki take in a sharp breath, and at the sound, you feel a dulled flicker of pride at catching him off guard.

“Baby-” he starts with a slight shake in his voice, but all the pet name does is make you see red all over again.

“DON’T FUCKING CALL ME THAT WHEN YOU CALL HER THAT TOO!” You scream, and your voice echoes off of the structures around you.

A strangled sort of half laugh, half sob leaves your mouth, and you screw your eyes shut, “Oh my, sorry for yelling.. Uhm, you asked ‘how’ earlier, and I assume you meant to ask fully how I found out. Well, I’ve known that you’ve been seeing her since that first lie you told months ago. It’s sort of crazy to think that for as long as we’ve known each other, you’ve seemed to have forgotten what my Quirk is, Love.” From even-toned to words bathed in malice, your rage and pain-fueled instability makes even you dizzy.

“..Y/N, please.. I.. I love you..” Katsuki says, and your manic laughter returns from how pathetic he sounds.

“It still baffles me that somehow that isn’t a fucking lie, too! You wanna know something, Katsuki? For years, I admired and adored you. For years, I waited for you to want me too! Then, when you finally did want me, I gave you all of my love! I made it all look fucking painless! The unappreciation! The wanting of someone who couldn’t even be bothered to remember my fucking name most of the time! The suffering through my darkest thoughts! Life has put me through so much shit, but fuck it if I wasn’t the fucking greatest!!” You’re breathless by the end of your spiel, more manic laughter mixing with your anguished sobs. The sound of a car honking below you makes you jolt, and you choke on a sharp gasp as your balance goes off-kilter for a moment.

“Y/N, where the fuck are you right now?! I’m on my way home, just-” Katsuki rushes out, and you become conscious of the sound of his car engine revving in the background of the call.

“Tell everyone that I’m sorry and that I love them. I love you, Katsuki Bakugo. Goodbye.” You say with an eerie and quiet calm, and as you bring the phone down from your ear you can hear him screaming until you hang up.

You turn slightly to drop your phone onto your shoes, then turn back to look out over the city. ‘Such a beautiful view..’ You think with a small smile as you let your body tip forward. You close your eyes as you fall, the sound of air rushing past you thundering in your ears. It feels like you’re falling for seconds and decades before everything goes black.

You feel nothing..

No more pain..

No more suffering..

Just the soothing warmth of the black abyss that’s been calling your name for so long.

Note ~ Thank you to the Lovely Anon who sent in the ask, I'm sorry that I got so dark with this one.. Please make sure that you're taking care of yourselves, Lovelies. And if you feel like no one else does, just know that I love and appreciate you. <3

Divider Credit: @anitalenia

The Greatest | Bakugo Katsuki x Reader

Part One | Part Two

Tags/Warnings ~ angst, hurt no comfort, talks of death, grieving, let me know if I should tag anything else..

Note ~ Alrighty Lovelies, here is part two with Bakugo's and Hatsume's reactions. I might do another part with Uraraka's and other's reactions, but at this time I don't have a feel for writing the requested characters yet except for maybe Midoriya.. I'll try my best to write something out, I just want it to be good enough for you all.. Anyway, enjoy the read <3

Katsuki can feel the burn of stomach bile sitting at the back of his throat, his stomach churning painfully with insurmountable guilt, regret, and self-blame. His eyes stare unblinking at your closed casket, the muffled and distant sound of your parents crying next to him echoing in his ears. They don’t know that he’s the real reason why there couldn’t be an open-casket service.. They don’t know that he’s the real reason why there’s a funeral service being held for you in the first place.. They don’t know that he’s nothing but a bastard who didn’t deserve their daughter.

Flashbacks to the day you ended your life fill Katsuki’s vision when he dissociates as he continues staring at your casket. Day and night, awake and asleep, it all haunted him; the horrible images, the echoing screams, the nauseating smell of blood.. He had been a few minutes too late. He had just gotten out of his haphazardly parked car, panicked and intent on racing up to the apartment you shared with him, when he saw the growing crowd of horrified bystanders. Everything seemed to drain from Katsuki’s body the moment he saw them, and he numbly made his way over to the side of the building where they were gathering.

A few people were crying, a couple were vomiting off to the side, and someone wouldn’t stop screaming. Everything had felt surreal, like it was a terrible nightmare, as Katsuki moved past people to get to you. When he had gotten to the front of the crowd, all of the bystanders moving back and believing that Pro Hero Dynamight was there to help somehow, Katsuki just froze. He just watched with numb disbelief as an elderly woman laid a handkerchief over your face and whispered a prayer for you. He spent a moment or two convincing himself that the broken body in front of him wasn’t you until he saw the bracelet he’d given you for your birthday sitting on your blood spattered arm.

That was when he had lost it, when every emotion had hit him all at once. Pictures and videos from that day haunt him just as much as the memories. The moment he fell to his knees with tears dripping down his face and mouth open in a silent scream. The moment he had to turn away so as to not vomit on or near your body. The moment he sat on the bloody ground next to your body and held your cold, dead hand until the police got there. Even the video of Izuku and Kirishima pulling Katsuki away from your body as paramedics zipped you up in a body bag still circulated his social media feeds as much as it had when it was first posted.

But he deserved to be reminded of that day, didn’t he? The way he sees it is that he’s practically the one who pushed you off of that roof. If he hadn’t started seeing Ochaco again behind your back, then maybe he could have the woman he actually loves in his arms again. He still can’t find a good excuse for why he started sleeping with Ochaco. She had been a lot of firsts for Katsuki; first relationship, first kiss, first time sleeping with someone.. Sure, he had heard that it’s hard for people to truly let go of the person who they shared “firsts” with, so maybe that’s why he slept with her. Even with all of the firsts he shared with Ochaco he didn’t feel for her what he felt for you, he didn’t love her.

But his shitty excuses or vows to continue loving you even though you’re gone will never clear him of being a lying, cheating bastard. If he could have just one more chance to start over and be a better man, not that he would deserve it, but you deserved so much more from life. You deserved to do the things you loved. You deserved good times with friends and family. You deserved to be loved by someone light-years better than Katsuki will ever be. You deserved brighter days lived without the silent pain and suffering.

Looking around at every single person that showed up to mourn the loss of your beautiful presence, Katsuki knows. Listening to your family, Hatsume, and others speak about you and the happiness you brought into their lives, Katsuki knows. Standing up in front of everybody suppressing the urge to vomit up his guilt and stuttering through his own final words to and about you, Katsuki knows..

You truly were the greatest.

~~~~~~~~~~

It was a known fact since that almost nothing could pull Mei Hatsume away from her work. Not people, not basic human necessities, not even the fear of war. Her drive was incomparable to anything most have ever seen before. It concerned most people, but then there was you. Yes, you were concerned for the pink-haired girl’s well-being, ever since the day you two had become friends. But you were the only one willing to stay right by Mei’s side providing support, sustenance, and help when needed. Even if you two didn’t talk very much during times when either of you were so focused on a project, there was still a blanket of comforting silence.

All of that is gone, now.

Being able to bounce ideas off of each other, gone. Having you stop by the shop to check on her and bring her food, gone. Sleepovers spent watching inventor documentaries all night, gone. The rare lunch break spent at yours and Mei’s favorite cafe, gone. The only person that’s ever felt like a sister to Mei, gone. Gonegonegonegonegonegone- everything is just fucking gone!

Mei has never felt so empty, so coldly numb, before in her life. She’s sitting by your parents, and every sound is muted like her head is underwater. She stares at your coffin, numbly unaware of the tears flowing down her face. It feels like her Quirk is active, her field of vision filled with what may or may not be the zoomed in view of your glossy black casket, and nausea tugs at her stomach. The heavily weighted emotions that came with the news of your death try to break through her numbness, and makes her skin crawl.

She’s moved through every stage of grief a million times over by now, her mind unable to comprehend that you’re just gone. There’s a constant back and forth within her brain of “how could she have not noticed your pain” and “you never showed your pain” with a bit of the fact that Mei knows that she buries herself in her work. She doesn’t know if her guilt is justified or not. The occasional glance at Bakugo and seeing him practically drowning in guilt and regret does and doesn’t help with justifying her own feelings. Mei was your best friend long before Bakugo was your boyfriend, she should have known you were struggling.

The day you died, Mei hadn’t even known that you, or anyone else, had tried to get a hold of her until damn near 1 AM when she finally left the workshop. She had grabbed her stuff from her office and dug her nearly dead phone out of her bag with a tired but accomplished smile on her face. She has always been used to having tons of notifications clouding her phone screen, with the way she worked herself, it was normal. So, she had made her way through the agency building humming and navigating through her phone to get to her voicemail. One from you; normal. A few from Izuku; not entirely out of the norm for when he had a new idea for gear or when he was being Mr. Caring Boyfriend. One from your parents.. that was the one that caused an uneasy feeling to churn in her stomach. Because as much as your parents loved Mei and vice versa, phone calls were rarely ever exchanged.

Mei listened to your voicemail first. Listening to how broken you sounded, that was the start of her world shattering around her. Then she listened to the voicemail your parents left. The gut-punch that the word “gone” had delivered knocked the breath from her lungs, and she could barely make out the tear-filled apologies spoken by your mother. By the time Mei finally got to Izuku’s voicemails, she was on her knees in the lobby of the agency, sobbing. She still isn’t sure how managed to call Izuku with the state she was in, all she could do was break.

Now, she’s here; standing in front of a crowd of your family and friends. Your lifeless body lying in the glossy black casket behind her. A tear-stained, wrinkled piece of paper held in her trembling hands as she musters up the will to speak. She eyes looks from Bakugo’s guilt-ridden face to your parents’ tear-soaked ones, then to Izuku’s sad but encouraging face. With a nod and a shaky breath, Mei glances down at the tear-blurred words on the paper..

“Y-Y/N is-was.. sh-she was tr-truly the gre-greatest..”

Note ~ Also, please forgive that this is for the most part unedited, and I didn't run it through grammarly.. I love and appreciate every single one of you, and I'm sorry that I've been lacking lately. Just keep being amazing and bearing with me, Lovelies. <3