Remus Lupin With The Bent Nose Thats A Little Too Big, With The Soft Tired Amber Eyes, With The Soft

Remus Lupin with the bent nose that’s a little too big, with the soft tired amber eyes, with the soft jawline, with the slightly crooked teeth, with the spattered freckles all over his face, with the knobby knees, with the lanky limbs, with the skinny and completely un-muscled body, with the fluffy curly and inexplicably tangled tawny hair, with the awkward and hunched posture.

Remus Lupin who is so strange and weird that no one really understands why/how he’s friends with James and Sirius, and everyone is even more confused when he and Sirius get together and this literal god of a man is with such a dweeb (then you see them together and they’re so sweet and in love that it makes sense). He has to have a hand on Sirius at all times because, if he doesn’t, he’s scared that Sirius will leave and he won’t know where he is. He always wants to be in Sirius’ lap because he’s freezing cold constantly and Sirius runs hot, so he clearly needs to be cuddled, because why else would they be the way they are. He always has to be held and reassured that he is loved because he’s an insecure little baby.

Remus Lupin’s first kiss was Sirius, he lost his virginity to Sirius, his first relationship was with Sirius, because he’s scared of everyone else finding out he’s a werewolf. The only time he was ever called a Casanova was when his friends poked fun at him for so much as talking to someone outside of their direct friend group (Sirius, James, Peter, Lily, Mary, Marlene, etc.). He was an antisocial weirdo that shied away from conversations, and panicked and ran if any confrontation occurred.

Remus Lupin was not an active problem solver, his fight or flight response was permanently set to flight. He lived on chocolate and tea and whatever snacks his friends brought him when he was studying. He wasn’t a natural straight-O student, he had to work his ass off to get Es in most classes and Es and Os in his best ones. He couldn’t work for the life of him because he had a bad back and hips and knees and once hurt himself trying to lift a stack of books the wrong way (with his back not his legs). He’s allergic to pollen and dust and peanuts and he’s lactose intolerant and his stomach is super sensitive. He doesn’t smoke because he’s got asthma and is too scared he’ll get lung cancer or something because he’s drop-dead terrified of literally everything.

Loser kinda-ugly nerd Remus John Lupin needs to make a comeback because he is so cute.

NAIL BITER REMUS NAIL BITER REMUS

it just occurred to me that because werewolf scratches/bites always scar, remus’ hands are probably covered in scars from him biting his own nails

Sirius Black with big, callused hands. With short nails so they don’t chip when he works. With rings on his thick and long fingers whenever he goes out but his wedding ring constantly. With black nail polish on his nails. With starburst scars on his knuckles form punching things. With cared-for nail beds and good skin despite how much he works.

Remus Lupin with long, thin hands. With no calluses because he doesn’t like physical work. With thin scars over his fingers and palm from transformations. With bitten nails and torn cuticles. With dry skin and hangnails. With nothing but his engagement and wedding rings on his hands. With boney joints that jut out and bent fingers.

I can’t see a full-on beard, but he feels incomplete without a little bit of stubble in my mind…

i’m sorry but i can’t see sirius with facial hair

Sirius Black who gets angry when he’s in 12 Grimmauld Place.

He’s just gotten out of Azkaban, just found a place he can rest after being on the run, so no one blames him when he’s a little bit fidgety and strange.

It’s incredibly odd when he flat-out refuses to sleep in his childhood bedroom, but everyone has at least an inkling that his childhood may not have been perfect, so they go with it with little argument. That doesn’t stop the confusion, though.

“I’d kill to have a night in my childhood bedroom, especially if my parents never changed it!” “It would be like being a kid again; no responsibilities, just time to relax!” “It’d be like going right back to your younger years, who doesn’t want that?”

Sirius leaves when they talk about it. They get the hint.

Then he starts to get angry. He starts to change. He starts becoming quiet and abrasive.

At first, it’s little things. He lets out an incredibly aggravated sound when he tears his breath while buttering it. He snaps at Kreacher when the elf mutters under his breath. He runs his fingers through his hair hard enough to pull some out. He eats less. He drinks two glasses of wine instead of one.

Then it gets less small. The people in the room right under his are woken up in the early hours of the morning when he punches a hole in his wall. He genuinely pulls his wand on anyone that touches him without sufficient notice. He smashes his fist into Snape’s face when Snape makes a comment about how spoiled he must’ve been as a kid. He stops eating entirely. He’s drunk more often than he isn’t. He’s not sleeping. He starts wearing clothes that cover every inch of skin on his body. He stabs a hole through the canvas of Walburga Black’s portrait when she huffs at the colour he’s wearing.

People start getting upset with him. He’s getting reckless, he’s getting violent, his mood changes at the flip of a dime, his temper is shorter than it’s ever been.

It reaches a boiling point when Sirius snaps at Harry.

Harry had just been trying to ask if he was okay, because even a teenager could see that something isn’t right. Sirius had reassured him. Harry hadn’t been convinced and had gone to hug his godfather from behind. Sirius had flinched away so violently that Harry had nearly collapsed, and then he’d yelled at the kid never to do that again.

Harry had run off. Sirius had retreated to Walburga’s— his— room. His first move is getting drunk off his ass, then taking off his shirt to look at the damage plastering his body. He tried to cover it all with tattoos, once upon a time, but it never worked. That was after he, in his Hogwarts years, had taken a blade and a blasting spell to his skin to cover up the damage that way. That didn’t work, either. Nothing worked. And being in that house just seemed to be ripping those old wounds open.

Sirius had to put wards for himself and only himself on the windows and balconies of the upper floors, that way wouldn’t be too tempted to see if he could fly without magic. Sirius had to move all the dangerous potions to a locked box, which he gave Remus the combinations for and then promptly obliviated the numbers out of his own head. Sirius had to lock himself out of the kitchen so he wouldn’t be able to get his hands on a knife. Sirius had to give Remus his wand so he wouldn’t do anything stupid to himself or anyone else after he pulled it on Minerva. Sirius had to put up barriers and take precautions because he knew what the house would do to him.

12 Grimmauld Place killed Sirius. It killed him every time he walked around a corner and saw blood and tears and bright red light from the tip of a wand in his mind’s eye. It killed him every time Kreacher glared at him and tried to slip something into his food, which he had to throw out before he ate it knowing it would hurt him. It killed him every time he walked by Walburga’s portrait and she grumbled or muttered or shrieked at him, just like she did when she was alive. It killed him every time he ran his fingers over the keys of the grand piano, found comfort in music, only to remember shattered fingers for playing the wrong note. It killed him every time he looked at the permanently locked door with the initials on it and thought of his baby brother, only little, coming to him for nightmares or because Orion and Walburga had forgotten to feed him.

Sirius Black wasn’t angry. He was scared. But no one could see it, because he’s become a master at hiding his emotions.

That’s why he was so excited when he heard that Harry needed help in the Ministry. It meant he could leave his own personal hell.

Aw thank you so much! I appreciate that someone cares enough about my silly little rambling to reblog :)

So, I’m writing a werewolf!Sirius AU, and I’ve written this quote from his POV.

“Being alright involves letting his guard down, it means putting his trust in someone else’s hands, it means opening his bleeding heart to show off the monsters living in there, clawing at the organ and smearing crimson over his insides.”

I need you all to understand the amount of symbolism I put into this quote, particularly the second half.

It refers to him having a “bleeding heart” specifically (and I know it’s not in this excerpt, but it’s in the bigger thing) in reference to his childhood, along with monsters (his parents, etc.). This is inferring that he is extremely sympathetic and kind, and, because of everything he went through, he can relate to people’s pain even more, which makes him more empathetic.

The monsters living in there bit is a pretty obvious reference to trauma and self-hate, but them clawing at his heart and smearing blood is also symbolism. Blood is red, which is a reference to how his treatment in his childhood made him Gryffindor-brave, along with extremely passionate (which is what red means in colour theory!).

Also, subtle reference to the phrase “bleed your heart out” (meaning, “to suffer a great deal of emotional pain; to feel extreme sadness for someone else”). My boy has suffered and thinks too much about other people.

Anyways, I just really wanted to show off how much thought I put into this line, please appreciate it :)