Y'all Idk What To Post

Y'all idk what to post

Yeah I literally don't know what to post. I can't write stories fast, I don't have a drawing tablet and my art sucks and the best I can do is post shitposts of Shakespeare characters here. (Mostly Hamlet)

Thor finishes his meal at a small cafe and the elderly waitress approaches him to clean the table. She puts the dishes on a tray and sets them aside, picks up Mjolnir, wipes the table with a damp cloth, then puts the hammer back down. “Have a good evening, dear.” she says, and returns to work.

Made a few of these memes im gonna post individually.

I adore Octavia can't wait for the next episode with her in it! She deserves love and appreciation for being an amazing representation of the struggles and turmoil of being a child with divorced parents.

For fun I like to think about what’s happening in Wei Wuxian’s mind when he hears, “I’m his uncle. Any last words?”

1. hey I know that voice

2. I could be dead a thousand years and I would know that voice

3. it’s Jiang Cheng! hi Jiang Cheng! hi! hi! it’s me! i missed you!!!

4. wait Jiang Cheng hates me now, like really hates, like, wow… wow

5. wait

6. this terrible brat is Jiang Cheng’s nephew?????????

7. [wwx.exe has stopped responding]

8. THIS IS SHIJIE’S SON?

9. oh noooooo shijie your son is a miniature peacock

10. oh no oh no oh no I just insulted this kid’s mother and father

11. but it’s my fault he doesn’t have parents ;____;

12. I’M SORRY FOR EVERYTHING SHIJIE e  v  e  r  y  t  h  i  n  g

13. shijie i was wrong, in fact your son is a miniature Jiang Cheng

14. and he’s adorable + terrible + precious + I would die for him

15. anyway I guess Jiang Cheng is going to kill me for real this time

[elapsed time: 2.3 seconds]

Comfort On Christmas Eve (FengQing Christmas Oneshot)

“What the fuck?”

That is the first thing that comes out of Feng Xin’s mouth when Mu Qing comes back to their apartment, soaked, posture absolute dogshit, and swaying back and forth like a drunk idiot.

Mu Qing stumbles wordlessly into their shared apartment and flops face down onto the couch like a rag doll. He looks absolutely pathetic, like a marionette whose strings had been cut. 

Feng Xin stares at him, bewildered at Mu Qing’s current state. For one thing, Mu Qing looks like someone just poured a whole bucket of water over his head and a typhoon made its way through his hair, for another, Mu Qing isn’t snarling and firing snarky remarks at Feng Xin the moment he walks in the door, instead, he just lies there, completely silent and letting the water from his wet hair and clothes drip to the floor. After several seconds of bewildered staring, Feng Xin finally says, “Oh my god, what the fuck happened to you, huh?”

Mu Qing doesn’t respond right away, instead, he groans and grumbles and sits up on the couch, he mutters something that Feng Xin doesn’t hear and flops back down. 

“What was that?” Feng XIn moves his head towards Mu Qing, trying to catch what Mu Qing just said. 

Mu Qing grumbles and mutters again. 

Feng Xin can’t hear him. “Dude, I still can’t hear you, speak up for god’s sake!” 

Mu Qing shoots up suddenly. “I said I left my umbrella at home!” he yells at Feng Xin and glowers at him through a thick curtain of wet hair that was still dripping with water.

“Then why didn’t you just come home?!” 

“That’s none of your business.” Mu Qing looks to the side and falls/sits back down on the couch. 

Feng Xin still isn’t satisfied. “Then why didn’t you just call for me to pick you up?”

“Phone died.” Mu Qing answers. “Also, why would I ask for you to pick me up? It’s not like we’re-” he stops there. “Nevermind.” He buries his face in his hands and leans forward so that Feng Xin can’t see his face. 

Feng Xin watches him with a face full of pity, when in fact, he’s feeling a lot more than pity right there. Questions swirled around in his mind about the

current state of Mu Qing and his attitude. Why is Mu Qing like this? Why is he back so late? Why isn’t he teasing and bitching at me right now? Normally, when he sees Mu Qing upset, he’d tease him about it, fully expecting for him to fire back with a snarky remark and that’d escalate into a verbal fight that ended in both of them sulking for an hour before moving on like nothing happened, but today? After seeing how Mu Qing was acting, Feng Xin didn’t have the heart to do that. There was just something that was so off about Mu Qing today, something negative, but Feng Xin can’t exactly put his finger on what.

“Hey, uh, are you okay?” Feng Xin reaches out a hand towards Mu Qing. 

Mu Qing looks back at him through his hands. “Of course I’m okay, what makes you think that I’m not okay?” 

Feng Xin thinks. Bitch, anyone with eyes could see that there is a lot of shit that’s not okay with you right now, stop lying.

Well, besides the obvious, the obvious being that Mu Qing came back home at a very late time in the night, he was drenched and shaking like a leaf, there was just something in his body language and overall attitude that was extremely unfamiliar to Feng Xin. He was used to Mu Qing sassing him around and snarking at him whenever he asked the simplest of questions, but there was none of that now, Mu Qing looked somber, muted, sad.

And Feng Xin wasn’t sure he knew how to deal with that. 

“Well for one, you just came back home at an ungodly time in the night, and for another, you are absolutely drenched, you’re shaking, and you don’t even seem to care that your precious pretty hair is pretty much ruined right now.” Feng XIn replies, specifically emphasizing the last point. Mu Qing cares a great deal about his hair, waking up at least half an hour earlier than Feng Xin every day to style it and flipping Feng Xin off whenever he mentions it. Feng Xin hoped that the hair comment would bring some of Old Mu Qing back, but to no avail. 

Mu QIng rolls his eyes but doesn’t say anything. 

Feng Xin sighs. “I’m gonna go grab you a towel.” 

Feng Xin disappears into the other room for a towel, but instead of just handing his roommate the towel and having him dry himself off, he returns with a towel, a giant sweatshirt of his own and a hot cup of tea from the kitchen. He shoves the towel and sweatshirt in Mu Qing’s arms and sets the cup of tea in front of him. 

“There, dry yourself off and then change. God knows how much warmth the clothes you wear actually provide.”

But of course, because Mu Qing is literally the most difficult person on Earth, he doesn’t start drying himself off right away, instead, he just stares at the towel and sweatshirt and rubs them with his fingers every few seconds. 

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Feng Xin grabs the sweatshirt and towel and takes matters into his own hands. First, he starts to wring the water out of Mu Qing’s hair, and for good measure, grabs a brush and starts untangling his roommate’s messy wet hair as gently as he can, because god knows how big of a fuss Mu Qing will make out of Feng Xin handling his hair roughly. 

“Excuse me for this.” Feng Xin says as he removes Mu Qing’s jacket and sweater and wrestles him into the sweatshirt. He then shoves the cup of tea (which is still surprisingly warm despite the winter cold) into Mu Qing’s hands and wraps a blanket around the guy like he’s a baby. 

Throughout this entire process, Mu Qing is extremely docile, only offering occasional half-hearted remarks such as “Quit mother-henning me.” or “Oh my god you’re gonna regret this.” and “No way I’m getting in that.” (“Too bad” Feng Xin says as he jams the sweatshirt over Mu Qing’s head.) but never actually making any effort to make Feng Xin stop. 

By the time that Feng Xin is done, Mu Qing still isn’t acting like himself, Feng Xin finally decides he’s having enough of this and asks:

“Alright, what the fuck actually happend? You come home looking like a hurricane just went through you, and don’t do anything when I fuss all over you, so what the hell is going on?”

“I’m okay.” Mu Qing says, gripping the mug tighter. 

Bitch I thought we went over this. Feng Xin thinks to himself. “Oh really? Cause those tear tracks I saw while helping you would beg to differ.”

Fuck. Mu Qing thinks. 

Mu Qing takes a deep breath. “I got dumped.” 

Okay so that was unexpected. 

“Wh-what?” Feng Xin heard that correctly, right?

“I got dumped.” Mu Qing repeats. “I got ghosted by my date tonight, on Christmas Eve of all days. That asshole didn’t even bother to show up after we had talked for so long, and when I finally ask him out on a date, he accepts, but then doesn’t even bother to show his face! He didn’t even answer when I texted him, bitch just left me standing in the rain for a solid fucking hour.” Mu Qing wipes his tears on his sleeve “Happy now?” He looks at Feng Xin with watery eyes and finishes. 

Feng Xin is absolutely flabbergasted by this. How could anyone ghost Mu Qing? He couldn’t even think of the act. How could anyone make plans with Mu Qing and then ghost him? How could anyone think to go out with Mu Qing on a date, and then ghost him? And the fact that it was Mu Qing who asked the guy out, that made Feng Xin feel really unpleasant. 

“Oh… Oh my god. You got dumped.” Feng Xin says.

“Yeah, yeah. You don’t have to rub it in my face, you know.” Mu Qing glares at him, wiping more tears on his sweatshirt sleeve. 

“Holy shit you actually got dumped.” Feng Xin repeats. 

“What, is this funny to you or something?” Mu Qing glares at him. “Feng Xin, if the fact that I got dumped amuses you or something then I swear to god I will punch you in the face right here, right now.” 

“N-no,” Feng Xin holds up his hands. ‘It’s not funny to me whatsoever.”

Feng Xin scoots a little closer to him. “So, uh… do I know the guy that you got ghosted by?”

“Why the fuck would I let you know who I was “dating”? Also, why would you want to know?”

“Nothing, just curious.” Feng Xin tries to make it sound as inconspicuous as possible.

“Well then stop being curious.” Mu Qing sets down the cup of tea and wraps the blanket tightly around himself. 

Mu Qing stays like that for a bit, but Feng Xin knows that he wants to complain about the guy, and it only was a matter of time before he started to bitch again.

And said matter of time was literally five fucking seconds. Mu Qing unravels himself from the blanket and leans forwards at the coffee table. 

“Ugh.” Mu Qing picks up his phone and taps into Whatsapp. “You know, you’re lucky I haven’t blocked his number or deleted his contact yet.” He says as he scrolls through his Whatsapp chats. “Where the fuck is he…” he mutters as he looks for the chat of the guy he was chatting with. “Ah here we go.” he says and taps on the profile picture of What’s-His-Face and shoves the phone in Feng Xin’s face.

It was a very poorly taken selfie of the guy flexing shirtless in the bathroom mirror. Just the sight alone was enough to make Feng Xin cringe. “What? He looks like an idiot, I didn’t know you liked guys like that.”

“What my type is is none of your fucking business.” Mu Qing says as he shows Feng Xin a few messages between him and the man until he pulls away and blocks the guy’s contact and deletes every single photo that What’s-His-Face has ever sent him in his gallery. “Also, he kind of looks like you.” He adds teasingly.

“What?” Feng Xin is a little annoyed by that. “I do not look like that guy just there.”

“Oh really? I think you do.” Mu Qing teases. 

Feng Xin opens his mouth in protest but closes it quickly. Mu Qing wasn’t exactly wrong when he said that that guy looked like Feng Xin. Same body type, tanned skin from being in the sun a lot, and down to the bun on the top of his head. 

“Well then uh,” Feng Xin scoots a little closer to Mu Qing. “If this breakup has got you so down, you must’ve really liked him, huh?”

“Well, not exactly. We didn’t really know each other, it was just hookups every time we met in person. Hell, I don’t even know his birthday.” Mu Qing says.

“Then why are you so upset over the breakup then?” Feng Xin asks him. 

Mu Qing sighs. “It wasn’t the fact that we broke up or the fact that we broke up over text, but, what he said when we did.” he sets his phone down and buries his face in his hands. “Why am I telling you this? It’s not like you care.”

But Feng Xin does care, he cares much more than Mu Qing knows. “Well, tell me anyway.” 

Mu Qing sighs. “If you laugh, I’m gonna castrate you.” 

“I won’t.” 

“Well if you do then I’m not going back on my word.” Mu Qing takes a deep breath. “He said that I was really messed up, and that I wasn’t the type of person that anyone in their right mind would want to be friends with, let alone date, and that he pities whoever is f-friends with me, and that, that was it.” Mu Qing’s voice starts getting shaky at that last part, and tears start welling up in his eyes. He tries to wipe them away, but with no avail. “Well if I’m really that bad, then why did he let this go on for so long?” Tears are threatening to spill from his eyes and he buries his face in his hands. 

Several different emotions go through Feng Xin at the sight of Mu Qing starting to cry. 

The first is rage, how dare someone make Mu Qing feel that way and say all those things to him? If it weren’t for the fact that Mu Qing was crying, he

would’ve asked Mu Qing for the guy’s address and marched on over in the rain to give him a piece of his mind. 

The next was sympathy, for obvious reasons.

And the third was dismay, seeing Mu Qing so weak and falling apart over some guy just made Feng Xin even angrier and the thing that Mu QIng says right after doesn’t help much. 

“Don’t answer that, I know what you think of me right now, why did I ever agree to tell you?” Mu Qing tries to glare at him, but it falls apart before it even lasts a second.

Feng XIn couldn’t stand to see Mu Qing like this, so he does the one thing he never thought he’d do.

“Alright, come here, you dummy.” he wraps his arms around Mu Qing and before Mu Qing can even react, he’s being pulled into a tight hug. 

Surprisingly, Mu Qing does not react negatively like Feng XIn thought he would at this impulsive decision and sudden close contact, instead, he melts into the hug and buries his face in Feng Xin’s shoulder. 

“You wanna know what I think of you?” Feng Xin starts talking, he can feel Mu Qing tensing up.

A million thoughts go through his head at once. I think you're beautiful, I think you’re super annoying, I think you are the most annoying person I’ve ever met, I think the way you care so much about kids is adorable, I think us meeting is the best thing that has ever happened to me, I think you’re my best friend, even if you don’t feel the same, I think I’ll never get sick of how you’ll complain about the smallest things, i think there’s no one else in the world that I’d want to fight with, laugh with, be with for the rest of my life. I think I love you. 

“I care about you, okay? I care about you because you’re my friend, and if I’m being honest, I feel like you’re my best friend, and I think that that asshole doesn’t deserve you.” Feng Xin says while rubbing circles on Mu Qing’s back. 

“O-oh.” Mu Qing manages to say, before snuggling closer to Feng Xin. “Yeah, well. I care about you too.” 

________________________________

The next morning, Feng Xin wakes up on the living room couch with a weight on his chest. 

“What the fuck?” he murmurs, and rubs his eyes. That’s when he notices the black head of hair in his face, and Mu Qing sleeping soundly on his chest with the blanket draped over the both of them.

Feng Xin reasons that both of them fell asleep while they were hugging last night and smiles down at the sleeping figure of Mu Qing. 

He reaches for Mu Qing’s head and plays with his long black hair while trying his best to ignore the fact that his heart was breakdancing and doing somersaults in his chest over the fact that Mu Qing was sleeping on him.

Feng Xin continues to play with Mu Qing’s hair for the next ten minutes before Mu Qing blinks open his eyes and asks, “What’s going on- Oh.” 

That’s when he realizes he’s basically cuddling with Feng Xin. 

“What the fuck?” he scrambles to get off the man, but Feng Xin has an arm tightly locked around his waist and he can’t get out of this compromising position with his… friend? 

Wow, that word still sounded strange when talking about the both of them. 

“S-sorry. I must’ve fallen asleep on you while we were… you know.” Feng Xin apologizes and unhooks his arm so that Mu Qing can get off of him. 

“Don’t worry, it’s uh, it’s okay. I fell asleep too.” Mu Qing gets off of Feng Xin and looks out the window. “Holy shit.”

“What?” Feng Xin stands up from the couch and when he sees what Mu Qing sees, he’s repeating what his roommate just said. “Holy shit.” 

There was fresh snow falling from the sky, and the buildings were coated with it, making the view outside look like something straight out of a storybook. 

“Wow.” Feng Xin says. “This is… beautiful.” 

“Yeah.” Mu Qing agrees beside him. “Hey Feng Xin.” 

“Yeah?”

“You wanna know the reason I even got with that guy in the first place?” 

“Uh, okay.” 

Mu Qing takes a deep breath, this is it. “I was trying to get over you.” 

Feng Xin’s eyes widen. “Wh-what do you mean by that?”

Mu Qing rolls his eyes. “It means, I had a crush on you, you idiot, and because I thought you hated me and thought you’d never reciprocate, tried to get over those feelings by hooking up with other people. Well that obviously didn’t work.” 

Feng Xin is so stunned he can barely get a word out.

Mu Qing’s face falls. “And here I was, hoping that there was a chance after- I’m heading to my room.” He tries to leave, but is stopped when he feels a warm hand tightly wrap around his wrist. 

“You, you really mean it?” Feng Xin’s eyes are hopeful, and there’s a hint of a smile dancing around the corner of his mouth. 

Mu Qing takes a deep breath. “Yes, yes I do.”

That tiny little smile on Feng Xin’s face breaks into a huge grin, as he pounces at Mu Qing, who was evidently not expecting this to happen, and falls to the floor once Feng Xin’s body hits his own. 

“Oh my god.”

“Feng Xin”

“Holy shit.”

“Feng Xin.”

“You really do like me huh?” Feng Xin is now smiling so hard it hurts, but he doesn’t care. 

“Feng Xin, I swear if you don’t get off me right now I’m going to kill you.” Mu Qing says as he tries to push Feng Xin off of him. “Also, stop being so sappy and emotional,” he adds. 

“Hey, you were being just as sappy.” Feng Xin hauls himself off of Mu Qing and sits on the floor beside him. 

“Pfft, not as much as you were though.” Mu Qing teases as he gets off the floor. 

“Hey, thanks for not getting over me. I’m glad.” Feng Xin smiles. 

“Yeah.” Mu Qing smiles, the smallest of smiles, but it’s still there. “I am too.” 

“And uh, maybe we could go on a date, after breakfast, today? It’s Christmas after all, and we’ve got nothing to do.” Feng Xin says hopefully. 

“Yeah.” Mu Qing turns to him and his smile grows wider. “I’d like that.”

Here's a link to the one I posted on AO3, they're the one and the same: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43821268