Bruh Motivation Is A Bitch That Decided To Go On A World Wide Voyage And Has Been Gone For Five Years.

Bruh motivation is a bitch that decided to go on a world wide voyage and has been gone for five years.

Besides the recent Han fic I posted, I'm sorry I haven't posted, like, a full fic in so long.

I know what I want to write and add to the drafts but it's like my brain just can't find the motivation or energy or mood to get into typing it out. I open the draft and it sits open for so long cause I thought opening it to edit it would get me to finish it but it rarely does.

I'm trying not to make excuses...I just feel bad I'm not uploading as often as I use to. I don't even have anything going on in my life to stop me from writing, I just feel slow...

And I know I can take my time but I think I've put an unnecessary goal on myself that I need to upload constantly or people will get upset.

Anyway, um, I'm gonna go to bed now ✌🏼

I NEVER POSTED THE FREAKING ANXIETY POST IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR FOR WEEKS!

I found it in my drafts!! I never posted it!! That's why I couldn't find it!!

Oh my god, gonna post it soon now that i've found it and have been rambling about it for a while now.

Do you do the anon thing and if so, can I be one...?

I do have emoji anons! Lmk what emoji you would like to be!

hi hi! i feel soooo bad that i just went mia… life has just been so busy and so i haven’t had the time to reach out again! but i’m proud to announce that i am back! so expect me to pop in from time to time!

- (a very sorry) 🐰🔪

Hi! It's okay, life happens. I've been trying to catch up on requests and stuff so I can open them again.

It is good to see you again!

Um....this is actually a vent post...

GN reader, Nn: Nickname

(This is also the post I kept ranting about and couldn't find anywhere. Was in the drafts the whole time lol)

When you walk into your apartment, you forget about taking your shoes off and head to your living room, collapsing onto your fluffy area rug.

You run your hands over the carpet, listening solely on the fan in the corner next to your tv. You don't even want to think about where your dog is, you don't even want to think period.

You phone buzzed in your pocket and you take it out, really hoping it's not your parents, hoping that it's one of your friends. Too bad it was wishful thinking, your wishes have never come true, except for when you debuted.

It was your dad, or the man that once was your dad, saying that you were delusional and you are still doing the wrong thing. He's been saying that since you debuted, since you said you wanted to be a singer. He doesn't say it, but you know he sees you as a disappointment. That you're wasting time.

Your arm falls back to your side, your phone buzzes next to you a couple more times and you don't feel like picking it back up.

Suddenly your ceiling covered in stars from your projector are blurry, you're struggling to catch your breath and your heart is in your ears.

You let out a choked sob, bringing your other arm up to throw it over your eyes, you bring your left leg up and don't even realize you've moved your arm off your face, clenching your teeth and choking out sobs as you firmly punch your thigh, your breath getting heavier to the point it feels like your hanging on the edge of each breath, barely breathing enough in and not letting enough out.

You sob out a barely heard mutter of your dog's name, he was a trained German Shepard to help when your anxiety got too high. You've had him since before trying out to be an idol and your parents almost threatened to take him to a shelter before your trainee dorm mate found out you had him and let you bring him over.

You were so close to loosing your dog and you were incredibly thankful to your roommate every day, even when you debuted with him. Your lucky Hyunjin loved dogs.

You try to say his name a bit louder but a sob cuts you off and behind the throbbing in your ears you hear the clicks of his nails on your floor approaching, you can mentally feel him over you before he laid on you, putting weight on your chest after shoving his snout between your leg and hand to put distance so you stop hurting yourself. He was licking your face but it wasn't working which made you panic more. Your breaths were practically gasps, like you were drowning.

Your dog then scampered off of you and you heard him trot away, his claws clicking slowly fading. Why is he leaving?! He never leaves unless your breath settles, where did he go?!

After a muffled bark, a few seconds later you feel him lay next to you and another muffled noise comes in through the blood pumping in your ears. Your dog is licking your arm as you feel another weight on top of you. Your dog then moves to lick your nose and you turn away because it was gross but it also reminded you through your mental fog to try and breath through your nose, something helping you wipe the slobber off your face before you feel it on the side of your face.

Your hand then moves and suddenly you feel another heart beat at the same time a cold cloth was on your forehead and something combed through your hair.

Your chest slowly loosens and with it you finally let out your sobs, crying out loud and letting out everything in your chest. Your hair still being brushed, the weight still on your chest, and you can feel your dog's paws on your arm.

When your energy as depleted and your sobs are gentle huffs, you finally open your eyes but more tears gather in your eyes when you realized just who your dog brought to you.

"Hey, Hey, it's okay. It's okay, Nn." One of the voices says gently and the feeling of a hand rubbing your chest is now identifiable.

"S- Sor- I-I'm-" "Hey, hey, it's okay. Don't apologize, Nn, it's okay." You open your eyes again, blinking away the tears at your lash line, before you meet the eyes of one of your boyfriends. "L-Lix-" "It's okay." He continues to brush a hand through your hair, his face was still sleep ridden, hair a fluffy mess and you let out a whimper. "W-Woke....You...."

He shook his head, smiling down at you gently. "Making sure you're okay is more important. Although I think Hyung fell asleep again." There a grumble before you felt the male laying on you shift slightly when your dog started licking him. "Mm-no, 'm still here..." Felix snickered before combing his other hand through Minho's hair. "Barely." the younger mutters with a gentle smile.

Felix then looked back to you, a gentle light from the hall illuminated his face. "What caused it?" "Dad..." "Okay." They knew about your family, how you were treated, so that all the clarification he needed.

You laid in the living room for a little while longer before Minho grunts as he sits up then stands with a kiss to your forehead. "You're comfy but the floor isn't, let's go to bed." You weakly chuckle before the both of them help you up. You pet your dogs head, giving him a treat from the container on the end table before walking away with the boys. "Sorry about him, Min." "It's okay. He helps you so he's lucky." You laugh, leaning on him as you wrap your arms around him. "I have a cat at home with my sister. If so can, I'll bring her next time." "You do?" He perked up and you chuckle lightly, kissing his cheek at his cuteness with the mention of a cat.

Walking to the bedroom, Felix is already under the blankets and you send your dog over to his corner before getting in bed with him, Minho slides in behind Felix and you both squish him in the middle and he giggles lightly, arms wrapped over Minho's that are around his waist as he buries his face into your neck, your own right arm draping over the both of them as you shift to place a kiss to Felix's shoulder then settle back on the pillow.

Who cares if your parents thinks your making a mistake with being an idol, all that matters is you have your sister and a new family, boys who believe in you and love you.

Felix: *Simply watching Mn* *🥰*

Mn: *Holding a makeup brush* "Stop that."

Felix: *Smiling* "Stop what?"

Mn: "Felix-Ssi, I'm not your strongest soldier, you are to adorable to be looking at me like that."

Felix: "Looking at you like what?" *Looks up at you like you hung the stars*

Mn: "I will full name you, you're distracting me."

Felix: *continues to stare with a gentle smile.* *😍*

Mn: "Lee Felix Yongbok, I'm trying to do my job!"

Felix: "But you're distracting me."

Mn: *Drops his hand and sighs* *😑* "I will get someone else to do your makeup."

Felix: *🥺* "No, don't go, I'm sorry."

Mn: *Sighs and lifts the brush back to his face* "You're lucky I love doing your makeup."

Felix: *😁*

(100% inspired by the video he did with Risabae)