Jasminedragoon - ~Jasmine Dragon~ - Tumblr Blog

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ache

a/n: another dope, unhinged request that sent me clean into the sun. I will have girl reciprocate in another chapter! Thanks so much for loving my version of Marcus, hopefully you like where this is going. This is un-beta'd, barely edited. All mistakes and errors are mine! Hope you enjoy what I came up with! (this is before the last chapter)

Warnings; 18+ no minors, vague but big-legal age gap, piv sex, dirty talk, Marcus' pov, Marcus makes girlie squirt, *feelings*, master / slave dynamic (power imbalance), Marcus calls reader Girl, reader calls Marcus Dominus - let me know if I missed any!

Pairing: Marcus Acaciusx F!Reader

word count: 1.6k (😅)

reblogs are appreciated

Masterlist series masterlist

----

He’d been away from his home for longer than he wished to be. Away from her. 

He’d been resigned to be gone for two days, three if he was being generous. That was the time he’d been prepared to spare. Those three days had stretched to three weeks.

An endless parade of niceties and feasts and courtesies extended. His presence was essential it seemed, and so he’d had to grit and bear it. He’d slept in those foreign beds and craved her warmth, her smell and her touch so much so that a rage filled him, a restlessness that only soured his mood more and more. 

Had he not put his foot down he might have been gone from his house for three months instead of three weeks. He’d fought wars quicker than this. 

Only when he was on his journey back home, back to her did the smile return to his face. Only waning when his journey had taken longer than expected, and by the time he’d finally stepped foot inside his house the moon was high, and she was sleeping peacefully in her bed. He’d watched her for a time from her doorway, almost willing her to sense him and wake. She didn’t, and he didn’t have the heart to disturb her, so he retreated back to his chambers and fell into a fitful sleep. 

Even in his dreams, she haunted him. He could smell her, feel the warm clutch of her cunt around his cock, hear her passion in his ear. He could taste her lips, could feel himself spilling inside her. 

He woke with a gasp, cock aching, heart racing and sweat beading on his brow. The moon was still bright, and the hour late, or early, he could not tell. The only thing he knew for certain was that if he didn’t go to her now, he’d die.

-

The heavy blanket of sleep shifts to gossamer, fine as silk. The dream, so clear just a moment ago slips away, forgotten as your room comes back into focus. A heavy weight presses beside you, a soft caress pulls you further into wakefulness. Too tired to be scared, you turn towards the feeling, the soft press of familiar lips at your shoulder and are both startled, and delighted to see your Dominus in bed with you. He’d been gone so long, you almost wept to be within his embrace once more. 

“Dominus, you’re home.” It’s not a question, more a sleepy, contented statement. 

“Yes, Girl, I am at last home.” You press closer, heart swelling that he would crawl into your bed with you. His passion so great, it pressed hot and hard against your belly. “I dreamt about you Girl, could not wait until morning.” His hands roamed, sweeping from your back down to grab at your ass, pulling you ever closer in the quiet dark of your chamber. 

“You dreamt about me Dominus?” You smiled into the warm skin of his neck, butterflies swarming in your belly at his confession.

“Yes Girl, I was hoping you would be awake when I got home, I wanted you so bad I ached but you were asleep and I couldn’t bring myself to wake you. I found no peace in sleep, even in my dreams I craved you.” His lips descend, soft and so welcome where they meet yours, his tongue insistent. “Did you miss me Girl?” He shifts, pushing you onto your back and fitting himself between your thighs. the heft of him makes your cunt turn to liquid. The absence of him these three long weeks had been difficult, so accustomed had you become to him taking you that feeling him now could have made you weep with joy. 

“Yes Dominus, I have been so empty without you, I have missed the feel of you here–” You reach down and grasp him in hand, delighting in the gasp he breathes into your face and guide him into your soaked cunt. “I missed you here Dominus, needed you here desperately. I have gone without your gift for so long.” 

His forehead is pressed to yours, your legs bent and high on his ribs while you both catch your breath. Your heart races as he adjusts and rests on his arms, bracketed around your skull. Your nipples harden against his chest as he presses soft kisses to your face, your cunt leaks when he starts to move, a slow, but heavy thrust. His cock is so stiff, so filling that it takes a moment for you to adjust, for that stretching burn to subside.

The moans slip out with every push and pull of his hips into yours and when you move your legs a little higher and tilt your hips he hits something divine. His cock pressing against an undiscovered, almost forbidden part of you with every roll of his hips. 

“Is that where you like it?” He keeps his stroke steady, hitting the spot he knows he’s found and you can barely form a thought, all you can focus on is the fullness, on the delicious feeling in your hips, in the deepest part of you. “Answer me Girl, did you miss me fucking you?” He doesn’t speed up, only thrusts harder. 

“Yes Dominus, yes, I missed it so much–” He moans and it heightens the pleasure building in your core, in the base of your spine. His tongue is obscene in your mouth, your hands clutch at him, moving from where they clawed at his back up to curl into his waves, gripping at him like talons. 

His pace picks up, faster, harder and the feeling grows, something heavy, something altogether too big building unlike anything you've ever felt before. Big enough to almost frighten you. You pull away from his kiss, frantic to warn him. 

“Dominus, wait–something–God’s above–” You moan out because he doesn’t stop, he only shifts cat-quick to push at the back of your thigh up towards your chest, opening you up wider and hitting at that same spot harder.

It’s so loud, the wet plunge of him into the cunt he owns, the cunt that weeps and gapes for him and him alone. Your heart races, sweat beads at your hairline and his, the sound of the bed rocking with his movements; all of it ignored and unimportant compared to the feeling.

“Dominus–” your eyes drift down to where he fucks into you, hands pressing at his chest as the crushing wave inside finally crests. 

Your body pushes him out with a wet gush and a scream. Your hands claw at him, your body bows almost on its own as you soak him in your climax. He doesn’t stop, instead he holds you down, his strength showing it’s face as he fucks you through the strongest climax of your life. 

“That’s it Girl, take it, take my cock, and my gift.” He groans it, filling you to the brim despite your inability to do anything but lay there under him, soul outside your body, and shake with the force of the pleasure he’d given you. 

He smiles as he cleans himself after, moving to you to wipe down the mess he’d made of your sex.

Your legs still shake. 

“I had heard rumours in my youth that if you were skilled enough, you could pleasure a woman enough to make her burst like a fountain.” He has a smugness about him as he presses the damp cloth to your skin. You are silent still, shocked at the way he’d made you feel, at what he’d made your body do. “You are the first to prove them right. Have you ever done that before, Girl? Has any other man ever made you do that?” 

“No Dominus, I have never felt anything like that before.” A shyness creeps in, a vulnerability you don’t know how to express. Your eyes cannot quite meet his and despite the pride you can see in him, he senses it. 

“Did you enjoy it? I do not want to chase that again if you did not enjoy it.” He tosses the rag back into your basin, and slips into your bed with you, gathering you into his arms. You are grateful to feel his warmth, to have the comfort of his embrace. 

“I did Dominus, I enjoyed it immensely, I am just–I–I,” You stutter, unsure how to explain how you feel and the curiously emotional response that amount of pleasure has borne in you. 

“What is it Girl, tell me. I wish to understand.” He pulls you into the crook of his neck, his hands rubbing at your back. 

“I do not know Dominus, It is strange. The pleasure was great, greater than any other time we have lain together but it is so much more. It is as though now I am tied to you, I cannot get close enough. If you leave me here now, in this bed I shall die without you.” A shyness creeps in and warms your face, an embarrassment at the intense need you have for him now. So much more than when you are aroused.

“I will not leave you, Girl. I would never leave you. I must confess, seeing how much you enjoyed that changed me as well.” He pulls your sheet up, tucking the both of you in for what is left of the night. “There is an intense pride in me now, that I could be the one to make you feel that good.”

“You always make me feel good, Dominus.” You press your lips to his neck, rubbing at his chest while you make yourself comfortable in his embrace. 

“As do you, Girl. I was a mess while away from this house, away from you.” You smile into his neck before moving up to press your lips to his. There is no more need for words after that, instead you both fall into an easy rhythm of soft kisses, and gentle sweeps of your palms. A reacquainting of yourselves with one another, as though it’s been years since your last meeting instead of less than a moon’s turn. 

In the safety of the dark, it was okay. The lines of your roles could be blurred, you could kiss him as often as you pleased, you could press yourself closer, and speak words of devotion without fear. You could ignore that this was a slaves bed and not his place.

When morning came, you would wake alone and serve once more, but here, in the dark; that could wait. 

-

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I'm so incredibly sad. This was a fantastic chapter, worth the wait, worth the pain. I loved it. It's healing something in me I think. He's so gentle at the end and and idk it's just so sweet.

✨Saving What Was Lost Part 2: A Million Shades of Red ✨

Pre-Outbreak! Joel Miller x fem! reader

Series Masterlist

A/N: I’m so excited to bring you chapter two! I’ve been working long and hard on this, so I hope you do enjoy it. As always, I LOVE to hear your thoughts so comments and reblogs really make my day 🩷 I loved getting to write the last half of this in Joel’s POV. No beta for this one. Happy reading! I have reached my max number of tags for this, so please go follow my updates blog if you'd like to be notified for future updates @mermaidgirl30-updates

Summary: Trying to figure out your way through grief is hard, but Joel seems to give you that first flicker of hope that you need.

Rating: Explicit 18+ only MDNI

Word Count: 12.7k

Chapter Tags: Mentions of being trafficked, flashbacks of being abused, angst, soft and protective Joel, violence, PTSD, no use y/n, age gap (reader is late 20’s, Joel is late 40’s), pre-outbreak au, switching POVs

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

The next day you don’t leave your room, can barely stand to get out of bed. So, you don’t. You just stay curled up in a ball between the twisted sheets, listening to the soft drizzle of rain and the howling wind that taps at the glass window. You tossed and turned the entire night while nightmares tore their way through your worn body, reminding you that your life was ripped from your hands more than a year and a half ago. 

   You’re not hungry, can barely even choke down a glass of water. But Joel goes out of his way to make sure you get something down, even going as far as helping you hold the glass, encouraging you the entire time. You never asked him to; he just does it.

   He brings you food to your bed. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And even when you can’t stomach anything, he leaves the plate next to your bed in case you change your mind. He checks on you every hour of the day, even if that’s just him walking by and peeking his head in the doorway to make sure you’re still breathing, alive. 

   You don’t feel alive, but maybe one day you will. Maybe one day you won’t wake up and immediately feel like dying.

   One day. It’s only been one single fucking day since you’ve been pulled from the reins of Angela and all her grimy men, saved by the hands of Joel Miller. And you still don’t understand why he picked you. Of all the girls he could’ve saved, he chose to save you…

   He saved you. And you’re eternally, forever grateful. Even if you can’t express that. Joel Miller is your hero. And even though you don’t exactly trust him yet, maybe one day you will. For now, this is enough. 

   Take it one step at a time. That’s what he keeps telling you. And you just swallow it down and stomach the pain like hot wire scalding your skin. 

   One day at a time. 

   When the night comes around, so do the nightmares. They leave you soaked in sweat, hair sticking to your damp forehead, eyes wide when they drag you from sleep. Blood curdling screams leave your lips, the raspy wails choking you as the tears pour like raindrops down your face. 

   And then there’s Joel slamming the door open, watching you with those sad brown eyes locked on yours, his soft voice calming you down from the brutal memories of the past that try to drag you back to the awful, pain-filled house. You’ll never go back. Not ever again.

   Again, he doesn’t leave until you’ve calmed down enough. He asks if you want him to stay, sit in that same chair he sat in the entire night the evening before. But you shake your head and tell him you’ll be okay. But you’re not okay. You’re far from okay. And when he nods and walks out of the room and closes his bedroom door, you let the tears soak the sheets until you’re dragged back down into darkness. 

   That’s exactly how the next three days go. You stay in bed, only dragging yourself from the cool sheets to crawl to the bathroom. You have no strength, no will to do anything. So you stay in the safety of your room and just sleep, praying the nightmares will leave you alone for just one fucking day, but they don’t. They come like creatures in the night, swallowing you whole with their sharp fangs and feasting on your misery. They bleed you dry just like all those men did. 

   And then there’s Joel and those sad doe eyes… He scares away the nightmares sometimes. But you don’t dare tell him that. You just stay silent, letting him stalk the halls day and night until you’re pulled down to sleep. 

   It’s a repeated cycle that you can’t break: wake up, get a teeth clenching migraine, cry, fall back to sleep, wake up with nightmares clouding your mind, cry, let Joel talk you back to sleep, cry. But you can’t stop, can’t shake it. It’s like it’s ingrained deep in your mind, becoming a part of your new identity. 

   You’re completely hopeless.

   And still Joel doesn’t push you, doesn’t make you do anything you don’t want to. He’s just a crutch that he’d gladly let you use, if only you’d touch him. But you don’t. You stay far far away from his tanned skin, his rough hands. You don’t want to be touched, and he doesn’t dare go there. He just stays like a lingering shadow in the hall, making sure you’re still here. Alive. He wants you alive, breathing. And you don’t know why…

   When the fourth day comes around, you make it your goal to get up. You have to try; you can’t stay in bed forever, even if your weak body is completely revolting against any sort of movement. You ignore the blinding pain of your aching bones and push yourself out of bed. And that in itself is a step in the right direction. 

   With messy hair, sweatpants, and a purple hoodie, you take a deep breath and make your way out of the room, praying you can make it all the way downstairs. Every step feels like sharp glass shards cutting the bottom of your heels, but you fight the burning pain and walk on. You have to make it downstairs. You just have to.

   Take it one step at a time. Joel’s soothing voice floats through your mind, and that alone is enough to get you down the steps and into the kitchen. 

   When you turn the corner and see him slumped against the counter, one elbow leaning against it and his other hand skimming the newspaper intently, you freeze in place. He must’ve not heard you tiptoe in because his eyes are locked tight on the folded black and white paper.

   He’s focused, jaw tense as he reaches for his cup of coffee. It’s black. No cream, no sugar. Just black. And you can smell the fresh brew lingering in the air. His green flannel hugs his broad shoulders, the rolled up sleeves leaving his tanned forearms exposed to the light. His eyes have dark shadows underneath them, and he looks like he’s gotten just as much sleep as you have these past few days. Basically none at all.

   Your eyes avert to the floor, your fingers nervously twisting into the soft fabric of the hoodie. You don’t know what to say, so you just take one more step into the lit up kitchen and clear your closed-up throat. 

   Joel’s eyes snap up, and he immediately drops the newspaper, pushing back his sturdy mug of black coffee. “Oh, hey. You’re up.” A ghost of a smile meets his lips and then those soft doe eyes appear. 

   He needs to stop looking at you like that, like you’re a lost puppy. But you won’t lie, they do make you feel a little safer. 

   Nodding your head, you push your hands inside the pockets of the hoodie, twiddling your thumbs mindlessly because you don’t know how else to act when anxiety and fright sit tucked away in the back of your mind.

   “You hungry?” he asks, tilting his head as he studies you with soft eyes. 

   Those soft brown eyes… 

   Your stomach rumbles at the thought of food. You’ve barely eaten the past few days, unable to stomach anything under than choking water down and only able to tolerate a couple pieces of toast. Anything else was left untouched, and all Joel would do was sigh when he kept seeing the full plates of food left on your nightstand. But again, he didn’t force you to eat anything, only encouraged you while he asked if you felt okay. 

   He was… too good. Why on earth did he choose to save you…

   “Mhm,” is all you can hum out. 

   “Okay then. Why don’t you sit down, sweetheart. I can fix you somethin’ up real quick,” he answers from across the lavish kitchen, pulling out various ingredients from the refrigerator. 

   You slip into one of the barstools at the kitchen island and lean your elbows against the white quartz that reflect against the bright lights displayed high in the room. Your back is as stiff as a board, and your fingers knot together like you don’t know how to act when you’re in the presence of Joel. He won’t hurt you, yet in the back of your mind there’s always that little alarm that says you can’t trust anyone. 

   You can trust him. He’s safe.

   “Apples or blueberries?” he calls out behind the open refrigerator door. 

   “What?” you ask confused as your eyes flick back up to him.

   He leans his head out and smiles softly. “Which one do you like more, sweetheart? Apples or blueberries?”

   You take a second to think on the question. He’s asking which you like more. He’s giving you a choice. Something you haven’t had in almost two years. Do you even remember how to choose anything for yourself? You doubt it.

   “Oh, ummm,” you sputter out, fingers locked tight around each other. You almost think they’ll break with how hard you have them knotted together. “Blueberries,” is what you finally decide on through your racing mind.

   He nods his head and grabs a container of fresh blueberries and sits them on the counter, pulling out other ingredients like butter and syrup. You sit there motionless while he gathers a couple of pans and glass plates out of the cabinet. And you just don’t know what to think about any of this. 

   After a couple minutes of just listening to him bustle around the kitchen, he breaks the silence. “You want some coffee? Just made a fresh batch a few minutes ago.”

   Coffee. You don’t remember the taste of it anymore or how you even liked it. “Oh, okay. Yeah, I could take some coffee,” you say shyly with your hands still shoved deep in your pockets. 

   He wastes no time and pours you a cup, sliding a spoon in as warm steam escapes from the black liquid. “How do you like it? Black, sweet, lots of creamer?”

   Your lips mold together in a tight line as you try hard to remember how you used to make it. You can’t recall anything you used to like before you were taken, and it makes you want to beat your fists on the countertop and spill the tears you’re trying so very hard to hold back. 

   “I don’t—I don’t remember how I like it,” you whisper, eyes dropped to the shiny island, legs trembling beneath you. 

   Joel takes a step in your direction and sets the steamy cup of coffee down in front of you. You can feel his body looming across the island, his large hands leaning against the quartz material, and those eyes. You feel how soft and sad and intently he’s looking at you, like he understands your pain.

   “Sweetheart, can you look at me a second?” he asks quietly, his deep voice a staccato in the heavy air. When you lift your eyes, he gently encourages you by saying, “There ya go. Attagirl.” And for some reason, that makes you want to cry even more. 

   “S’alright, sweetheart. How ‘bout I leave out the cream and sugar, and you can make it sweeter if you don’t like it plain. That alright with you?” he asks softly, his gentle brown eyes locked on yours. You sniffle out a yes, and he gives you a small smile as he turns to grab the creamer and sugar. 

   You drag the coffee cup closer to you and tap your nails against the ceramic material, thinking long and hard about everything you’ve lost. What did you even like doing anymore? You can barely remember what you liked before the last couple of years were snatched away from you. You can’t even remember your favorite color…

   When he returns and sets the bottle of creamer and a shaker of sugar down in front of you, you crack. A tear slips down your cheek, and you look up at him through glassy eyes. “I can’t remember what I loved to do before they—before they took me. My hobbies, my passions, my likes. I just don’t remember…” Your voice is barely audible as it shakes beneath your broken stature. 

   God, you’re so broken. 

   His jaw flexes and his knuckles tighten into closed fists. He seems angry, but those sad brown eyes tell a different story. He’s not mad at you; he’s furious about the ones that took your life away. The murders that tainted and destroyed your life, your mind, your heart. They took everything from you, and Joel knows this. He hates it as much as you do. 

   He takes a deep breath and relaxes his fingers against the cold material of the kitchen island, his brown eyes focused directly on you. His bottom lip twitches, and then he sighs as he speaks. “It’s gonna take a while, sweetheart. Gonna take time and work to remember what it was you loved before, what you lost. But I have no doubt that you’ll get ‘em back. You’re gonna discover new loves, new passions, new hobbies. And trust me when I say that you will thrive. One day, you’re gonna be soarin’, and all this pain and sufferin’ will be gone. Maybe not completely, but you’re gonna fly, sweetheart. Wings and all.”

   Another tear escapes your lash line, and you nod up at him slowly. “Thank you…” is all you can muster out of your highly emotional state. Thoughts are hard after he just painted a masterpiece with his words. 

   You’re gonna fly, sweetheart. The words stay sealed in a safe space deep inside your mind. No one can take what he just said away from you. Words that were spoken straight from your savior. Words meant just for you. Wings and all.

   “Why don’t you take a sip of your coffee? See how you like it.” He encourages you to try while he stands back and watches. 

   You bring the curve of the cup to your lips and take a small sip. As the warm liquid washes down your throat, your nose instantly crinkles up. Joel’s laugh floats around the room, bouncing off the stained cabinets and right back to you. You almost want to laugh back because his laugh is so infectious and light, but you don’t. 

   “Take it you’re not jus’ a plain cup of coffee type of girl,” he chuckles as he pushes back his sandy tousled hair, a couple strands of silver flashing beneath the bright lights. 

   “Guess not,” you reply as you reach for the sugar next. When you pour a large spoonful in and mix it up, you take another sip. It’s closer to your liking, but there’s still ingredients missing that you can’t recall. 

   “Not sweet enough for you yet?” he grins, taking a sip from his own coffee cup, watching you struggle with finding just the right mix. 

   “Not yet,” you sigh, annoyed with your own self from not knowing how to make your coffee anymore. 

   “S’alright. Try the creamer next. Maybe that’ll do it.” 

   As you start to pour the thick creamer into the warm liquid, he sets a shaker of cinnamon in front of you. And again, he just watches you with those warm milky-brown eyes. 

   You look at him all gawking and wordless, speechless because he’s trying to strike your memory, make you remember what you liked. He just stands there and smiles, watching you pour some cinnamon in next, like that’s what you needed. You don’t know why, but it makes your heart race just a beat faster.

   “In case that’s what you were lookin’ for,” he replies, flicking his soft eyes down to the brown cinnamon atop the now lighter-colored coffee.

   When he turns back around, a hint of a smile curls against your pink lips. In case that’s what you were looking for. He’s so… kind. You don’t deserve it. You don’t deserve him.

   You take a sip of your creamy, sugared-up coffee and hum at the sweet taste. Almost there, almost how you want it. You toss in some more cinnamon, mixing it into the almost white liquid. And when the delicious flavor meets your tastebuds, you freeze. 

   Caramel. That’s the ingredient you’re missing. It’s like a lock clicked right into place. A lost piece that was missing, and Joel helped you find that piece of yourself again. 

   “Joel?” you call. His body whips around, and then those soft brown eyes are on you. Those doe-colored irises that make your mouth run dry. 

   “Yeah, sweetheart?” he asks, like he’s right at your beck and call. 

   “Do you by chance have any caramel?”

   His eyes light up at that request, and he smiles warmly. “As a matter of fact, I do,” he grins. 

   He walks over to the refrigerator and pulls it open effortlessly, digging around until a small bottle of caramel materializes and lands in front of you, his fingers brushing past your coffee cup as he takes a step back. 

   “Hope you found what you were lookin’ for.” The way his deep timbre and the meaning of his words leaves you smiling behind the hand that’s leaning against your mouth. 

   “I think I did,” you say shyly up at him.

   He chuckles and nods, knowing exactly what that means. “I’ll make sure to always have caramel stocked in the fridge from now on. Jus’ for you.”

   Just for you.

   A smile ghosts over your lips, and another tear leaks when you realize what just happened. You actually smiled. You smiled. Even just a small one is progress. Joel made that progress happen. He made you smile…

   After pouring in a glob of syrup and stirring the sugary goodness with your spoon, you almost moan from the way the savory coffee hits you like you just swallowed the best piece of cake in the world. This is how you liked your coffee. Caramel, sugar, lots of creamer, cinnamon, warm. You just unlocked a forgotten piece in your mind, and it’s all because of Joel…

   The way he’s looking at you, soft doe eyes and a big smile curled against his plush lips, makes you give him a small nod. And in that moment, you see a ghost of a tear in his clear brown eyes. He knows you just found another lost part of yourself, and he loves to see you discover it once again. 

   He ends up making you blueberry pancakes drenched in butter and syrup, and you have to admit that these are the best pancakes you’ve had in your entire life. While you indulge in the sticky, syrupy plate, Joel joins you at the kitchen island after a few minutes. He’s careful to sit one barstool away from you, knowing very well that you need your space. And that’s exactly what he does. Gives you space while also being close, present, in the moment. And you appreciate that about him. He’s respectful of your boundaries when no one else has ever been before.

   He gives you a smile every once in a while as he sips his black coffee, barely touching his own pancakes. You think he just likes watching you eat, for whatever reason that may be. You know damn well you don’t look pretty shoveling a huge forkful of pancakes in your mouth, but you let him watch anyway. Maybe it’s because you aren’t used to being fed like this, only used to being starved to death. He’s trying to give you the freedom and enjoyment back in your life, you think. And that alone almost brings tears to your eyes. 

   Another couple of minutes goes by, and that’s when you decide to break the silence. Maybe he could answer some questions that’ve been crawling under your skin since the moment you stepped foot into this house. “Joel?”

   “Hmm?” he hums, taking one more sip of his coffee and setting the mug down on the quartz island. 

   You take a second to breathe, tapping the fork nervously against the glass plate, gathering your words together. And then you ask the question that’s been eating you alive at night. “What were you doing at the auction, really?”

   He taps his thumb against the brim of his coffee cup and stares off into the blue silently, his jaw slightly clenched. “I was there for business.”

   “Business?”

   “Yes,” he answers blatantly.

   “Seems like you’ve done it more than once. Been at auctions, I mean.” You drag your fork over the syrup-filled plate, wondering what he’ll say next.

   “That’s ‘cause I have,” he says as he swallows a sip of coffee, setting it back down carefully. Like he might break the glass if he’s too loud. 

   That doesn’t answer your question, so you grit your teeth together and ask again. “Why were you there, Joel?”

   He sighs and runs his fingers back through his tousled curls, making it messy and disheveled as thick lines map across his tanned forehead. “Was tryin’ to find someone. A girl named Rebecca. Her family, they reached out. Told ‘em I would find her and bring her back home.”

   Words get lodged in the back of your throat, your mouth suddenly dry as a desert. He was looking for someone but instead found you. He could’ve left you to the awful blonde man. The nameless face that still haunts your nightmares, depriving you of adequate sleep.

   “Oh. I see…” you say quietly. “But you found me instead?”

   He nods slowly. “S’right, sweetheart. Found you instead. Got you out jus’ in time, too. Glad I did.”

   Your bottom lip quivers as tears prick the back of your eyes, threatening to spill at any moment. He should’ve left you there to die. You already feel dead, so why does he want to bring you back to life? 

   “You could’ve just left me there. You could’ve just—” Your words are smeared with guilt because he shouldn’t have wasted his time and money and efforts on you. But he did, and you still don’t think you deserved it. His kindness. Just everything he’s done for you. You don’t deserve any of it.

   “Whoa. Hold on there, sweetheart,” he says as he halts you from finishing your sentence. “I wasn’t gonna jus’ leave you. So don’t for a second think I would’ve.”

   His sad brown eyes don’t help your trembling, but you just nod and brush away any trace of tears with the sleeve of your hoodie.

   “Okay,” you choke out. 

   His fingertips brush against the edge of the kitchen island and after another minute of silence, you ask the next question that you’ve been wondering. “What exactly is it that you do for work?”

   He blows out a deep breath and answers. “I was a former CIA agent. After Sarah was taken, I did everything I could to find her and get her back. Turns out when I found her, I found ten other girls that were missin’. I decided then what my line of work was gonna be. Opened up my own private business that focuses on huntin’ down sex traffickers, shuttin’ down auctions, findin’ missing girls. A lot of families hire me to help bring their daughters home, and that’s what I do.”

   Your eyes widen as you take in the information. Joel does this sort of thing on a weekly basis? “So, you’re kind of like a bounty hunter?”

   “Something like that, I suppose,” he chuckles. “It’s almost like I never left my former position sometimes. But this seemed more important. After Sarah was taken, I made it my life’s mission to take down as many traffickers as I could. And trust me when I say I will find every single fucker that ever laid their filthy hands on you, and I will destroy them.”

   You swallow back a lump in your throat and gawk at what he just said. “I don’t know what to say, Joel. That’s uhh—that’s…”

   “Don’t gotta say anything, sweetheart. That’s a lot of information to take in.”

   “You kill people?” you ask quietly, dropping your fork as it clatters against the glass plate. You’ve suddenly lost your appetite. 

   “Unfortunately, yes,” he sighs, dragging his palm down his patchy beard in deep thought.

   “A lot?”

   He nods. “I’ve killed a lot of bad men, sweetheart. Both for the CIA and for my own business. After knowing what most of ‘em have done, that’s the only thing you can do sometimes. ‘Cause if they go to prison, they’ll jus’ get bailed out and do it all over again. I’ve witnessed it happen quite a lot, unfortunately. So, the only way is to get rid of ‘em for good.” 

   “I see…” you whisper, twiddling your thumbs together mindlessly as your eyebrows knit together in concentration.

   He kills people. Bad people.  

   “Look, if you’re uncomfortable with this topic we can—”

   You stop him right there by shaking your head, your eyes snapping up to look him intently in the eyes. “No. No, I just—that’s gotta be heavy, Joel. What you do.”

   He groans under his breath and nods, his brown eyes heavy with years of dealing with traffickers. “It is, sweetheart. But I do it to make a difference. Seein’ those girls go back to their families, watchin’ ‘em get back to living their lives is truly worth the long nights and heartache of this job.”

   Your eyes get a little foggy as you look at him like a lost puppy, admiration and sadness swirling through your irises. You don’t have a family to go back to. You don’t have anyone. But you don’t see Joel rushing to kick you out. In fact, he hasn’t even said anything on the topic yet. You don’t even know where you’d go, what you’d do. 

   How can a person get by in life if they don’t even know who they are anymore? You’d probably just wither away into burnt ashes if it wasn’t for Joel…

   After a beat of silence, Joel digs around in the pocket of his denim jeans and takes something out. “Oh, and this is for you.” A new iPhone appears on the clean counter, and then he slides it over to you. 

   Your mouth drops open as you unlock the screen, your index finger flicking through the different pages.“You really got me a phone?” you ask with disbelief in your voice.

   “Sure did, sweetheart. It’s got my contact information in there, and I put Sarah’s in there for ya. In case you wanna reach out. Or I could do it. Whatever you’re comfortable with. And Tess’s number is in there. Whenever you’re ready to talk to her, she’ll be there. Jus’ don’t push yourself. Only when you’re ready. You’ll know it when you are.”

   Your lips tremble as you swallow back fresh tears. He’s already done more than you deserve. “Thank you, Joel. This is… this is more than I could’ve asked for. I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you.”

   He holds up a palm to stop you, scoffing at the last sentence. “‘S’not necessary, sweetheart. You don’t owe me a dime.”

   “But I—.”

   “Hey, listen to me. You don’t owe me anything ever, sweetheart. Not a damn thing. The only thing you could possibly give me is the chance to see you healing from all this trauma. Learning to love life again is all I wanna see. Understand?”

   He wants to see you enjoy life again. He wants to see you healing…

   “Oh. I uhh—okay,” you stammer out quietly.

   “Go on and finish your pancakes. You want some more coffee? I could—”

   Before Joel can finish his sentence, the front door opens with a bang, and you jump in your seat, your fork going flying to the ground.

   “Joel! Hey, Joel. We need to talk. I…”

   Your eyes widen in fright as you see a tall man with slicked back dark, greasy hair standing in the hallway. The breath gets knocked from your lungs like you’ve been kicked in the chest, and adrenaline courses through your veins like lightning. Fear sets you on edge, and all you can think is that this man is here to take you away or worse, hurt you. 

   No, no, no. This isn’t happening. This can’t be happening! 

   “Jesus Christ,” Joel growls as he slips off his barstool, stalking toward the man with a matching pair of dark brown eyes. But they’re much darker than Joel’s.

   “Joel, I—Oh.” The man freezes as Joel stands over him, clearly upset that he appeared out of thin air. 

   Your body tells you to run, to hide. So you slide off your stool and start to move quickly. Before you can get out of the kitchen, Joel stops you in your tracks. 

   “Hey, s’alright. He’s not gonna—” Joel coos, trying to calm you down, one arm outstretched like he’s reaching for you. 

   Your hands lock around the edge of the wall, trying to grip onto something that’ll ground you into place. 

   Calm down. He won’t hurt you. But you don’t know that. You don’t know this man. And you can’t trust any of them. Can you even fully trust Joel? You don’t know now.

   “Tommy, I told you to call first. Don’t jus’ show up. You knew she was here! The hell’s the matter with you?” Joel growls, shoving him hard in the shoulder.

   “Shit, Joel. I wasn’t even thinkin’. Sorry, I just assumed you talked to her already,” he apologizes, brushing off the spot on his leather jacket that Joel moved out of place. 

   You watch the banter between them, not knowing what to do or where to run. 

   “Well, I was ‘bout to. I said four in the afternoon, Tommy. Not the fuckin’ mornin’. Christ,” he scoffs, hands on his hips while his lips form into a tight line. “Now you apologize to her.”

   “Darlin’, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you,” Tommy sighs, taking a step forward in your direction.

   “Stay back,” you warn, trying your best to sound brave, but you’re anything but that. 

   “Hey, s’alright, sweetheart. He’s not gonna hurt ya,” Joel soothes slowly, stepping forward as his brown eyes soften when he looks at you. “This is Tommy. He’s my brother. He works with me. Actually helped me the night I got you out.”

   Your eyes flick quickly between the two of them. Your mouth feels like sandpaper when you realize what he just said. He was there too? “He… helped you?”

   Joel nods, keeping his distance to make you feel more comfortable. “S’right, sweetheart. Helped me get you out safely.”

   “What…” you whisper, your eyes wide as you look at Tommy. He looks like he doesn’t know what to do right now as he stands between you and Joel, trying to figure out if he’s too close.

   “It’s true, darlin’.” Tommy has the same mannerisms and Southern drawl as Joel. They really must be brothers. 

   “Th—thank you,” you say directly at Tommy, your hand dropping from the wall as your guard drops.

   He smiles and stuffs his hands deep in the pockets of his leather jacket. “Don’t mention it, darlin’. Glad you were able to get out of that hell hole.”

   “Me too…” you answer back in a whisper.

   “Joel, I need to speak with you for a minute.” Tommy nods his head toward the living room, and Joel looks between you and his brother, brows furrowed together undecidedly. He obviously knows how uncomfortable and uncertain you are with a strange man in the house. But this isn’t your house. It’s Joel’s.

   “Is it alright if he comes in, sweetheart?” Joel looks over at you with soft brown eyes. And God, those fucking eyes will be the death of you.

   “Why are you asking me? It’s your house. Why are you—.”

   He rakes a palm down his thick beard and sighs. “‘Cause I don’t want you scared, sweetheart.”

   You just stand there like an idiot looking between him and Tommy, deciding how this will go. Your body screams for him to leave, but half of you trusts Joel. And if he says he won’t hurt you then you know he’s not lying. 

   “It’s okay, Joel. He can come in,” you say hesitantly, your fingers curling in, making half crescent moons against your skin.

   Tommy smiles while you just stand there silently, watching like a hawk. “Thank you, darlin’. You know you’re a brave girl, don’t you?”

   You give Tommy a bewildered look and just shake your head while Joel watches the interactions between the two of you. “I don’t feel like one,” you half whisper out. 

   “Well, ya are,” he confirms.

   Again, you stand and stare. Fingernails embedded into your palms. You might as well be drawing blood now.

   “C’mon, Tommy.” Joel leads him into the living room, leaving you to an empty kitchen with half-eaten pancakes on the countertop. But your appetite has sailed away. And suddenly, you can’t even catch your breath.

   You make your way over to the barstool, knocking the knife to the floor with a loud clatter. There you go again making messes. When will you ever learn? 

   You twirl a piece of hair anxiously, awaiting whatever the conversation is to be over. You don’t like not knowing what’s being said, especially when it’s two large men that could take you down in a matter of seconds. 

   Joel would never. At least you don’t think. It’s weird, the thing between you two. He saved you, continuously tries to comfort you in a way that you’ll accept, tries to take care of you. And you haven’t even been here a fucking week yet. 

   He’s… different. He wouldn’t hurt you. Not ever. At least that’s what you keep telling yourself. But his actions match his words. And he feels safe. But are you ever really safe anymore? Your body thinks not, and it makes you sick to your stomach. 

   You saunter over to the edge of the kitchen, leaning your ear against the edge of the wall, hoping to get a glimpse into their conversation. You have to know what’s being discussed. For your safety and the comfort of your mind. They could be discussing anything.

   Leaning a little closer, you get a drift of their conversation.

   “You sure, Tommy?”

   “Positive. We got ‘em, brother. We found ‘em. And they’re not gettin’ away this time.”

   Blood pumps like a fountain through your ears, and your nails dig in deeper into the painted wall. Who did they possibly find?

   “You found ‘em. Shit.”

   “That’s right. Now it’s time to give them what they deserve.”

   You whip around the corner in a whirl and stomp into the room, arms crossed and on guard. Joel and Tommy snap their heads up, and Joel meets your eyes that are swirled with a look of desperation. A plea for him to trust you enough with whatever this is.

   “You found who?” Your bottom lip trembles and your hands shake. You’re so fucking worked up over nothing. 

   “Oh—uhh.” Tommy looks from you and back to Joel, not able to make a decision. 

   “Tell me.” It isn’t a question but a demand. Not like you’re in a place to be demanding answers, but you deserve them. All the secrets Angela and her men kept left you vulnerable and in a dark place. And for fuck’s sake, you deserve to be told things. 

   Joel steps in and saves Tommy from the decision. “S’okay, Tommy. She has a right to know.” His dark eyes flick over Tommy and then back up at you, and they look a little softer when he’s specifically looking at you. “Some of the buyers. Tommy was able to track ‘em down. He was able to help shut down another auction last night, and some of the same men that were at yours were there.”

   You stand there stunned and wide-eyed like you’re frozen to the wooden floor. Even… the blonde one?

   Before you can ask, Tommy steps in. “Wasn’t jus’ me. My brother here helped. And some of our other men.”

   Joel helped. But he was here? How could he…

   “What umm—what happened?” you choke out. You can barely speak. Too stunned to barely even blink.

   “Was able to take some of ‘em into custody. Got some of our other workers watchin’ ‘em. Makin’ sure they don’t see daylight again. Not until Joel—well, steps in.”

   You drag your tongue gut wrenchingly slow over your bottom teeth and just stare with a locked jaw ahead at Joel. His eyes are the color of honey, fluorescent onyx swirling in those stormy eyes. But they’re still so fucking soft. Even though his jaw is clenched and his dark eyebrows are knit together. 

   He always looks at you so fucking soft. It’s hard not to just sink to the floor even though your heart is in your throat thinking about those filthy men.

   “What guys exactly?” you grind out through your teeth.

   Joel’s jaw clenches, his broad body becoming stiff and upright in the leather chair, palm raking heavily over his mouth. His dark, sad eyes tell you enough. He doesn’t even have to say anything for you to know who exactly he’s talking about. But you hold your breath nonetheless.

   “The blonde…” he whispers out, his deep voice barely making a sound. But you hear it like a loud, booming crash of thunder as he nearly knocks you back two steps. 

   The blonde… the man that couldn’t fucking keep his hands off you. And those piercing blue eyes that dragged scars down your body. 

   Fright. Pain. Memories. You feel everything all at once. Suddenly, you don’t feel brave at all.

   And then there’s Joel who’s looking at you like the lost kitten that you are. 

   “What about Angela or Garrett?” you spit out quickly, your hands trembling as every syllable scratches the surface. Their names feel like fire on the tip of your tongue.

   “Haven’t been able to track ‘em down yet, sweetheart,” Joel sighs, his palm skimming over his patchy beard, brown eyes in a far away place.

   “You mean they’re still out there somewhere…” you mutter, tears pricking at the back of your eyes just threatening to spill.

   “S’alright. We’re gonna find ‘em. And when we do, you’ll be the first to know,” Joel confirms; Tommy nods beside him.

   You and Joel continue watching each other, eyes never leaving one another. He looks like someone just stole the last piece of pizza from a box and tossed his dog out in the street. He looks just as wrecked as you do. 

   Lost. Abandoned. Betrayed.

   You can’t seem to keep your footing, so you grab onto the railing of the staircase to keep yourself up. “I’m just—I’m going to go lay back down again.”

   Joel gives you a nod, understanding hitting his dark brown eyes. He doesn’t want you to go back up just yet. “You gonna finish your pancakes?”

   “Lost my appetite,” you shrug, your grip tightening against the smooth railing so you don’t fall back and crumble to the floor.

   He looks at you for a good five seconds and nods, his jaw flexing slightly like he wants to reach out, but he doesn’t. “Alright, sweetheart. Let me know if you need anything.”

   “Okay,” you shutter as you start to climb the marble steps.

   “It was nice to meet you, darlin’. Take care now,” Tommy yells, but you don’t even stop to say goodbye to him because the tears come swimming in your vision.

   By the time you get to your room, your eyes are heavy and blurry as tears stream down, tunneling your vision. You throw yourself against the sheets and get lost in the memories all over again. 

   There you are like a pretty diamond on display, men drooling and catcalling you as you cross the polished stage. And then the blonde’s hands are on you, his hot breath blowing down your breasts, hand sliding up the skirt of your dress, dipping underneath your lace. But Joel stopped him before he could go any further. 

   Joel stopped him. 

   You cry all over again from the night of the auction, the past hundreds of days you’ve been trafficked from state to state, not even knowing where you were most of the time. And then there was that house. That fucking rundown house where you were used and abused with the rest of the girls. Some didn’t even make it out alive…

   You stay in the room the rest of the day. Mostly in bed. Except when you drag yourself up and force yourself to brush your teeth, wash your face, run the brush through your messy tangles. You need to do something other than rot in that big, comfy bed but for now, that’s exactly what you’ll do.

   When 9:00 p.m. rolls around and the full moon is high in the sky, twinkling lights shining through the open window, Joel materializes in your doorway. Blue flannel buttoned up, hands deep in the pockets of his denim jeans, his greying curls disheveled, a concerned look on his tanned face. But the thing you notice is the jangle of keys in his pocket.

   Why does it look like he’s leaving?

   “Joel?” You yawn, rubbing the sleep from your tired eyes as you sit up. 

   “Hey, sweetheart. You still up?” Joel leans against the doorway, biceps flexing beneath his flannel, the black Rolex on his left wrist glistening under the dim hall lights. 

   “Mhm. Still up. Barely.” You yawn and push yourself up to where you’re leaning against the intricate headboard with gold flecks splashed into the dark wood.

   “Listen, there’s somethin’ I gotta take care of tonight. Should only be gone for a few hours but—”

   You flinch at his words and swallow the lump that’s forming in the back of your throat. He can’t just leave. Not in the state you’re in. “You’re leaving me here? All alone? What if—”

   He shifts his weight and takes a step forward, barely breaching inside your room. “S’alright. Maria, Tommy’s wife, is gonna come over while I’m gone. Didn’t think you’d be comfortable bein’ alone, and she was my next best thing. If you’re okay with that.”

   You sit there tumbling his words over again in your head, repeating what he said. He’s not leaving you alone with a man but a woman. He thought you’d be more comfortable that way. Even though you don’t know her, Tommy was nice enough, or so it seemed. And if Joel trusts Tommy enough to be around you, then you think you’d be okay with Maria.

   “I think so,” you muster out.

   His chocolate eyes soften, and the crow’s feet pull tighter as a small smile spreads across his mouth. “Good. That’s good.”

   “Where are you going?” you ask, cocking your head to the side as you watch him stiffen up at the question. 

   “Jus’ ‘bout forty minutes south of here. Shouldn’t take me too long.” He doesn’t answer specifically what he’s doing, but you have a feeling that it involves the blonde man that haunts your dreams.

   “Is it dangerous?” You shift in the sheets and pull the velvety blanket tighter under your chin.

   “Not tonight it ain’t.” He hesitates a little, and that makes you wonder if he’s not telling you everything because he doesn’t want to set you off again.

   “Only a few hours?” you ask softer, voice low as your stomach twists and turns. 

   “Only a few,” he confirms.

   “Okay.”

   He hooks his thumb around one of his belt loops and pushes his other hand through his tousled curls, his brown eyes never leaving yours. There’s something heavy in his stare, but you can’t quite place what it is.

   “Well, go on and get some rest, sweetheart. Shouldn’t be much longer until Maria gets here. I’ll introduce you before I leave for the night. But for now, I’ll let you sleep.”

   You sink back under the sheets and get comfortable, the nightlight plugged into the wall the only thing glowing except the dim lights in the hall. As he turns to walk out, you stop him. “Joel?”

   “Yeah?” He turns and smiles, and you can’t help but to feel a little flutter in your heart. He really has a beautiful smile. 

   “Promise me you’ll come back.” Your eyebrows thread together in concern, fingers curled firmly under the sheets. 

   “I promise,” he nods, flashing you another smile. There’s no lie in those brown eyes of his.

   “Okay.” You give him a tight-lipped grin and let out another yawn, sleep about to take hold of you once again.

   “Goodnight, sweetheart.” He pulls the door closed and when it shuts with a soft click, you call out goodnight too.

   In another half hour Maria gets to the house, and you get a brief introduction with her. But sleep is all you can think about, except for Joel leaving. You don’t want to think about that, so you fall back into bed and force yourself to succumb to the darkness. Maybe when you wake up then Joel will be back home.

   Please, come back. 

   Joel makes his way into the private warehouse, one that’s small and tucked away north of Austin. No one ever lurks around these parts. If they did, Joel would know instantly because there’s cameras all around the perimeters.

   The metal door slams closed as he stalks in, pushing past empty boxes and wooden crates that sit scattered next to dusty shelves. He pushes himself forward deep into the warehouse, close to the back where he knows the fucker is at. He’s going to fucking rip his icy blonde hair from the scalp and kill him for what he did to you and every other girl he’s gotten his filthy hands on. 

   Blood boils like lava in his veins and his hands are fisted at his sides, ready to finish what he should’ve that night of the auction. One punch wasn’t enough. Not when he was defiling you like a dog. 

   Joel hates him and everything he stands for. But tonight, Carter Williams wouldn’t get away with what he’s done. No. Joel would end him. 

   The dim lights overhead pop and flicker, anger brimming in his blood-red eyes. When’s the last time he got a full night’s rest? Not since he rescued you. No. He’s been too worried sick over you. 

   God. He’s never going to get the memory of how absolutely terrified you looked that first night. Won’t ever get the image of your pretty eyes filled with tears, blood running down your soft skin all because he wouldn’t call you a whore and wouldn’t dare ask you to get on your knees. 

   Goddamn it. He won’t ever forget that. He wants to strangle every single fucking person that ever gave you that mindset. Wants to completely ruin them for making you feel like all you were worth was for getting used and abused by disgusting men. 

   You’re not any of those things they made you believe. You’re a beautiful, broken woman that needs time to heal and fall in love with life again. He’ll help you get there as much as he can. He thinks he’d do just about anything for you and those big doe eyes. 

   Fuck. He’s going to break every single one of them. Starting with Carter.

   As Joel rounds the corner and kicks a metal pole forcefully, he comes face to face with Carter. The fucker that’s going to die tonight. 

   His hands sit bound behind him tightly. Wrists, ankles, and chest restrained around the cold metal chair with sharp-edged rope. Blonde hair is slicked back with a tinge of blood perspiring down his sweat-drenched forehead. His stormy eyes widen when he sees Joel appear before him like a dark shadow. 

   “You!” Carter accuses, glowering at Joel who lives a double life night after night. “You were the one at the auction!”

   Joel crosses his arms across his broad chest and smirks, eyes darkening as he focuses on the man that caused you pain. It makes his fingers twitch from anger. “I was.”

   “Let me go, man! I didn’t do anything wrong. You’ve got the wrong guy,” Carter shouts, twisting in his confines, thinking he can escape his restraints. He’s not getting that lucky tonight. 

   “Didn’t do anything wrong, huh?” Joel asks, raking his fingers slowly through his patchy beard, trying to hold on for just one more second before he explodes with rage. He chuckles and shakes his head in unbelief, and then he throws a punch against Carter’s jaw. Blood spews from his mouth and lands across Joel’s button-up, but he could care less at the moment.

   “Shit! What was that for?” Carter chokes out, a purplish, red tinge bruising his now swollen face. 

   “That’s for touchin’ what doesn’t belong to you,” he scowls, jaw locked tight like a hidden safe. 

   “Oh, I see. This is about that bitch you bought,” Carter spits.

   Joel jumps as fast as lightning and grabs Carter by the throat, his hold firm as he squeezes just enough to get his point across. “Call her that one more time and see what happens,” he warns, glaring at the pathetic man who got caught. 

   Carter gasps for air the second Joel releases his hold and howls out a raspy laugh that sounds like poison to Joel’s ears. When he finds his voice again, he smirks like the bad guy that he is. “Go on then. Do your worst. I’ve already seen her on video. Legs spread, tight pussy being fucked by some—”

   Joel takes the back of his hand and smacks him across the cheek so hard that blood spews from his mouth. “I said shut the fuck up!” he screams, his angry words echoing around the walls of the stuffy warehouse. 

   He’s going to fucking kill Carter. One more word and he’ll end it with the snap of his finger. He just needs that tiny push over the edge. One more revolting comment about you and his life is over. 

   Hell, it is already over. 

   Joel paces back and forth uncontrollably in front of the man whose face looks like it’s been through a bar fight. His hands clenched into tight fists at his side, jaw locked, narrowed eyes that could kill with a single stare. He’s livid, way over the edge of being angry. He could kill a whole goddamn room of traffickers and buyers at this rate. If more were here, they’d be finished.

   Carter rudely interrupts Joel’s chaotic thoughts and murmurs lowly. “Is she really worth the trouble, man? What? You gonna beat me to death because of her? She’s not worth it.”

   “She’s worth everything!” he shouts, his deep growl echoing around the room. He can almost feel his blood boiling beneath him like he’s already on fucking fire. 

   “So, this is what it’s about? You want to ruin me because I tried ruining her,” he chuckles darkly, like he has no remorse in any stiff bone in his body. 

   Fucking bastard. 

   “It’s part of it,” Joel says with a clipped tone, his fingernails digging into the denim of his pockets like he’s about to rip them clear off. 

   He needs to calm down, but he can’t. Not when he’s in the presence of a beast who tried to dig his claws into your delicate skin. So, he won’t be calm. He’ll be chaotic instead.

   “Don’t act like you know me,” Carter shakes his head, tendrils of smeared red strands falling over his cloudy eyes. 

   “Oh, I fuckin’ know you alright. Read up on your filthy past,” he growls. “How many women have you taken? How many have you kidnapped, raped, murdered? How many did you fuckin’ wreck? More than ten, you son of a bitch,” he storms, kicking over an empty bucket and cursing under his breath when he walks off the pain that spreads like wildfire through his foot.

   “Was worth it, and I’d do it all over again,” Carter replies with a smirk.

   That does it. Something snaps inside Joel. Hard. A feral growl leaves his throat and then he’s jumping in front of Carter, his hand wrapping tightly around his neck until he sees red flash in Carter’s dead eyes.

   “You sick fuck. You know what I do to men like you?” he screams, wrath swirling off his tongue and making his fingers curl extremely tight around Carter’s pale skin.

   Carter hacks violently under Joel’s grip. He’s only able to get dry coughs and garbled words out until Joel backs off just enough to where he can speak. “What, kill them? Go ahead. Fucking kill me. It won’t make a goddamn difference because there’s one of me all over these states. And the trafficking isn’t going to stop with me. The buying isn’t going to stop. It’ll keep happening over and over and over again.”

   Joel fists Carter’s short locks until he’s cringing in pain, snarling a pit bull glare into his piercing blue eyes that are laced with pain. 

   “Well, it ain’t gonna hurt when you’re dead and buried six feet under the ground!” Joel says with bared teeth, blowing hot air into Carter’s clenched face.

   “You can’t save all of them, you know. You can’t save her.”

   That strikes a nerve in Joel, a sharp ache stabbing him directly in the middle of the chest. He drops his tight hold on Carter and takes a step back, eyes blown wide with guilt. 

   He couldn’t save them all. He didn’t… he couldn’t. He couldn’t save her. But through all the pain that’s flaring in his body, all the lost souls that he’ll never be able to avenge, one thing still rings clear. He saved you… when he couldn’t even save himself. But he still saved you.

   He takes a deep breath and lets out a long sigh, holding back tears he refuses to shed. He’s not a weak man, but he’s so weak for you. 

   “I have to try…” he whispers, his voice broken and muddled against the slight echo and dripping sounds from the leak in the ceiling.

   For a moment it’s silent, only the screaming voices in his head breaking the stillness. He almost forgets that Carter’s there, until he hears his choppy voice gritting against his eardrums.

   “You’re going to fail, you know,” Carter whispers, taunting him again with the rasp of his throat.

   “What did you say?” Joel asks, whipping around to face the blue eyes of a killer. A killer he’ll surely strangle to death.

   “You’re going to fail her. You’re going to fail her so hard that she goes running when you try to fix her. She’s beyond repair, and you know it,” he spits out, smirking like a madman who’s lying through his bloody teeth.

   “No, she ain’t,” Joel snaps, eyes narrowed and fists clenched at his sides.

   “Yeah, she fucking is. You know how many men fucked and abused her? Do you know what her handlers put her through? Do you know how many women she’s seen murdered right in front of her eyes?”

   “I fuckin’ know enough! So jus’ stop! Jus’ shut your fuckin’ mouth!” He’s way past angry. He feels feral with the need to choke this man out just to silence him enough to where he won’t hear how broken you really are. Joel knows this. He knows the unimaginable pain you’ve been through. The abuse, the torture. They tried to fucking destroy you, and this fucker was one of them. 

   “I was going to give her a nice home, you know. Yeah. Was going to treat her real nice. Like a brand new dog. Maybe teach her some table manners. Bitches always get on their knees before their meal is served,” Carter chortles with wicked eyes. Eyes that could burn icy flames out of those hellish blue pits. But Joel would burn them out first. Maybe jab a knife through his skull. He wasn’t about to let Carter win this war. 

   “Fuckin’ stop,” Joel warns with a deep scowl, teeth clenched as he fists the front of Carter’s blood-soaked shirt.

   He slips the semi-automatic handgun from the back pocket of his jeans and triggers the safety off. His arm darts out as he shoves the barrel of the gun to Carter’s sweat-soaked forehead, daring him to say one more goddamn thing about you. He swears he’ll shoot. He won’t even flinch. Not when it comes to protecting you. 

   He only needs one fucking reason to blow Carter’s head off, but he has more than enough reasons now. “I swear to God if you don’t stop—.”

   Carter gives Joel a devious smirk as he watches Joel’s finger hover over the trigger. He knows Joel won’t hesitate. He’s just pushing him to the edge until he snaps. 

   “You want me to stop? Not until you hear all the filthy ways I was going to fuck—”

   “I said enough!” Joel seethes, anger taking over every single nerve ending in his body until he completely snaps. He pulls the trigger and watches the bullet fly through Carter’s forehead, spewing blood all over the front of Joel’s button-up, sloshing droplets of crimson on his wrinkled forehead. He’s too worked up and furious to even care. 

   He’s fucking wrecked. 

   He steps away from the pool of blood at his feet, teeth bared as he clicks the safety on, sliding the gun into his back pocket once again. But this time, blood is smeared across the metal barrel, reminding him of the mess he just made. 

   His head is fuzzy, shapes foggy, and he’s got a raging migraine that could take him to his knees in an instant. He needs sleep, needs to wash off the blood of the day, bask in the darkness where he lingers most sleepless nights. He needs to get a handle on this grief that eats him alive night after night. But he can’t. And ever since he took one look at you, his mind has barely thought of anything else.

   Scared. You were so fucking scared. The way you walked sheepishly across that stage, high heels dragging while you held back muted tears. And in that moment, he wanted to kill every goddamn man in that room of sinners. 

   Isn’t that what he’s doing now? Avenging you and every other girl those vile men did unspeakable things to. He’s going to fucking…

   “Joel?” 

   Joel’s name pulls him out of the fog just long enough to realize Jimmy, one of his workers, was calling his name.

   “Clean up this mess. I can’t be here right now. Gotta get home,” Joel replies quickly, voice strained as he clenches his jaw tight.

   “Sir, you good?” Jimmy tries again, dark eyes trying to read Joel.

   “I’m fine. Call me when you’re done here. Make sure no trace is left.” He walks out of the room, passing a few of his other workers until he’s making his way out of the stuffy building, letting the door slam behind him with a bang. 

   Once he’s in his truck and turning the key in the ignition, he slams on the gas and makes a run for it, leaving behind the giant mess he just caused. Carter was going to end up dead either way. Joel just decided he couldn’t stand another fucking word out of that bastard’s mouth. 

   He clenches the leather steering wheel so tightly that he leaves claw marks in the black material. A hand rakes slowly down his patchy beard, trying his best to alleviate some of the rage, but nothing helps. Maybe seeing that you’re sleeping peacefully tonight might help him calm down a bit. Maybe just maybe you’d be the cure to his never-ending suffering. 

   When he pulls up in the long driveway and kills the gas, he hops out and rushes to the front door, barely stopping at the bottom of the stairs to even say hi to Maria. Right now he just needs to see you. Needs to make sure you’re still breathing, still in one piece, still alive. 

   “Whoa there. Everything go okay?” Maria asks as she shoots off the leather couch and paces toward Joel, a look of worry flashing across her wide eyes.

   “As good as it could’ve,” Joel rasps, wiping the dried blood from his forehead. 

   Maria looks him up and down, taking in the stained flannel and tendrils of messy curls that stick to his sweaty skin. “By the looks of your shirt and your face, guess you got him.”

   He nods, letting the ice settle deep in his bones. “I got the son of a bitch alright,” he growls.

   Maria stares at him with concern swirling in her dark eyes, her body stiff as she folds her arms over her chest to take a good look at him. As if she’s just seen death in his hazy eyes. “Hey. You alright? You look—”

   “Tired? That’s ’cause I am,” he sighs, lacing his fingers back through his dark locks.

   But the wavering stare she gives him makes it seem like tired isn’t the word she was going for. Defeated might’ve been a better word. Because right now that’s exactly how he feels. 

   Destroyed. 

   “I’ll just get out of your hair,” she murmurs, leaving him with a light pat to the back of his shoulder. But before she can grab her keys off the coffee table, he stops her.

   “Maria, wait. Thank you. For watchin’ her for a few hours.” He gives her a tight-lipped smile, and she nods back in return. 

   “It was no trouble, Joel.”

   “How is she?” he asks, letting the stuffy air settle while she shifts her weight on the wooden floor.

   “She’s sleeping. She’s fine,” she confirms with a smile. 

   He lets a puff of air leave his lungs, thankful you’re safe and sleeping.

   “Good. That’s good. Thank you, again. I really appreciate it, Maria. I know it was last minute and all.”

   She presses a palm into his bicep, giving it a light squeeze, letting him know it’s all fine. “It was really no problem, Joel. Whenever you need me to come back over, I won’t even hesitate.” 

   Joel nods in thanks, letting her walk toward the front door. But before she decides to leave, she turns and leaves him with one more thing. “She’s a lovely girl, Joel. Nice, sweet, a little shy. She’s lucky you found her.”

   His spine goes stiff, a lingering sensation crawling up his skin, bubbling its way into his brain. She’s lucky you found her. 

   “Yeah… she is.”

   “Well, goodnight. I’m going to head back home to Tommy. I’ll see you later.” She makes her way out the door, the lock clicking in place once she’s gone. 

   “Night, Maria…” he finally croaks out, throat suddenly tight as he hears the creak of bed springs and a tiny whimper float down the end of the hallway upstairs. 

   He rakes a hand slowly down his patchy beard, sighing as he climbs the marble staircase. He’s prepared for another restless night, knowing you’ve been having nightmares every single night since you’ve been here. Every single time he makes sure to check on you, wake you from your violent nightmares. And every fucking time you wake up with bloodshot and tear-soaked eyes, it makes him want to wrap you in his arms until he can soothe the nightmares away. But he can’t. He just can’t. 

   When he makes it up the staircase and down the hall, his foot hits a particularly creaky spot in the floor, and he curses under his breath when he hears you shift in the bed and stir awake. 

   “Joel?”

   Fuck. He didn’t want to wake you. He didn’t want you to see him like this. Looking just as much of a monster as Carter did. 

   The blood. It’s going to fucking terrify you. And that’s the last thing he wants. You to be scared of him. He doesn’t want you to fear him because he’d never ever hurt you. Never dare lay his fingers on you without your consent. He’d rather chop his own hand off with a dull blade.

   But you’d still be scared either way. Blood or not. 

   He takes a deep breath and spins around, hovering in your open doorway and giving you a strained smile. “Hey, sweetheart. Didn’t mean to wake you.”

   “It’s fine. I was just…” You gasp, eyes wide and wild as you take in his bloodied flannel and disheveled hair. “Your shirt. The blood. Are you hurt?” You look scared, worried, and it makes his heart clench at the sight. You don’t need another thing to worry about. He’ll be fine, even if he doesn’t feel fine.

   “Nah. It’s—not mine,” he stills, fingers clenched around the stained material. 

   You knit your brows together, studying him closely as you analyze the splattered blood stains on his cotton material. “Whose is it then?” 

   He flinches, not wanting to tell you what he did. Even if Carter deserved a thousand deaths, each one worse than the other, he doesn’t know how you’ll respond to this. He doesn’t want you afraid. 

   He takes another deep breath, inhaling as much oxygen as his lungs can take in. Because in the next moment, he might not have any left.

   Carefully, hesitantly he lets his raspy voice choke out. “Oh. It’s ummm. It’s the blonde’s blood…”

   You still, eyes blown wide, mouth dropped open like you’ve just been shocked by lightning. Your body becomes stiff, as stiff as a wooden board, fingers curling nervously against the lavender comforter. You look lost, wading off into the distant sea, waves carrying you far far away until he can’t reach you anymore. Until the sea swallows you whole.

   Damn it. 

   “Oh. Oh… I see,” you whisper out, jaw tight as your eyes travel up to his.

   Jesus. Those fucking sad eyes. It could bring a man to their knees. They’d bring him to his knees.

    “What was his name?” you ask hesitantly.

   “Sweetheart. I don’t think—”

   “Tell me,” you plead adamantly. “Please...” Your voice is a breath of a whisper, just loud enough to stir a hurricane inside his hollow chest. 

   And then he breaks as a wave of grief washes over his slack jaw.

   “His name was Carter,” he finally says, breath shaky as his eyes momentarily fall to the dark wood, until he’s looking right back at you and those fucking eyes that are full of fear and hurt. 

   “So he’s dead?” you ask muffledly, your features frayed as you contemplate his answer.

   “Yes,” he confirms, his blood-stained shirt suddenly feeling too suffocating and tight, like someone is trying to strangle him to death. 

   Another beat of silence falls over the dark room casted in shadows, ghosts of green trees swaying in the moonlight behind the glass window that overlooks the slumbering forest. 

   You lick your bottom lip slowly, fingers twisted against the sheets, your eyes looking vacant and lost as you contemplate. “How many—how many women.”

   He knows exactly what you’re asking. How many women has he hurt, killed, mutilated to shreds.

   “More than a dozen…” he says calmly, his fists tight at his sides as the flash of a bullet and blood invade his thoughts. 

   You slowly nod and curl in on yourself, your knees folding into your chest, blanket tucked up under your chin, your eyes vacant as he sees your trembling form relive the past all over again. 

   He can’t see you like this. Like you’re being tortured all over again. Like there’s not a single thing he can do right at this moment to make you feel better. He wants to wrap you in his arms, tell you it’ll be okay, that no one will ever hurt you again. He wants to take the pain away from you; suck it all out so he can carry the burden instead of you. 

   You… how could they ever hurt you? You’re too… special. They took everything from you. Took every last fucking piece until you were left on the floor like a broken vase, glass shards unrecognizable until all the glitter and shine was scraped off and covered in dirt. They wrecked you, and he fucking hates them for it. 

   Diamonds aren’t supposed to break or lose their shine. They’re meant to be treasured, taken care of, meant to never be broken. But you… you’re so very broken. And all he knows at this moment is that he’d do anything to see you smile again. He’d do anything to put all the shattered pieces together until you’re sparkling like glitter even in the darkness. 

   “Are you… okay?” he asks hesitantly, like he might crack you like the spine of a new book if he talks too loudly.

   “I’m… yeah. I’m okay,” you reply with a muted response, lips quivering, tears licking at the edges of your waterline. You’re not okay. You’re far from okay, but you put on a brave face anyway. Even if you’re lying through your teeth. You want to be okay, so that’s what you say. Maybe if you let the words fall off your quivering lips then you’ll believe them. 

   But he knows the truth. You’re fragmented and defeated. This much he does know. 

   When you look up with tears welling in your eyes, he freezes, jaw clenched as he stares at the face of a woman who had her entire life ripped from her own hands. Hands that were never meant to be ripped open and scarred from filth and grime. Your life was never theirs to take, but they took it anyway. 

   Your big doe eyes sear into him, splitting him in two until he feels pain radiate down his chest, suffocating his insides like oxygen is being stolen from his lungs.

   Stop that. Stop looking at me like you want me to fix you. Like you want me to wrap you up in my arms until all the pain is gone. That’s what he sees when you look at him like that. Like you want him to make it all just stop. Drown the noise out until you can’t hear the world tilt on its axis anymore. Until you just feel peace.

   He wishes you wouldn’t look at him with those beautiful doe eyes, your held back tears making them glitter in the moonlight. God, he’s never seen such big sad eyes. Eyes that could make a grown man crumble into tiny pieces by both heartbreak and awe. 

   He can’t fix you, can’t make the pain stop, can’t wipe your memories from the hell you’ve managed to survive the past almost two years. He can’t even… fuck. He can’t even hold you the way you should be held. Gentle, tender, affectionate. That’s what you deserve. And he can’t fucking do that because you’re so traumatized and fragile that even one light caress would send you into an unbreakable panic attack. 

   He just… cares. He cares a lot. And there’s nothing much he can do except slowly show you how good life can be again. He just wants to see you smile. And that’d be enough. That’s honestly all he wants — you happy again. He knows you can bloom. And one day you will. Just like a pretty sunflower that thrives in the giant Texas fields. 

   One day you’re going to be that sunflower. And he’ll be there to see you blossom and sprout. 

   They might have cut down your stems, ripped out your strong roots, destroyed your green leaves, crushed your beautiful bright petals. Making sure to kill everything that was good inside you, but Joel would replant you. He’d watch you grow until you bloomed into the most lavish garden he’s ever seen in his entire life. 

   You’re going to thrive. One day at a time, you will get your petals back. He’ll put his life on that promise.

   The weight of your heavy stare and the thick fog that hangs in your room makes him dizzy, makes him a little off kilter every time you flash your teary eyes his way. He can’t see you cry. Not right now. Because then he’d want to wrap you so tight in his arms that all your pain would fade away. But he can’t do that, and he knows it. So, he’ll do the only thing he can before he breaks in two himself. 

   Leave. Not the perimeters of the house, just your stifling room.

   “I’m gonna jus’—go lay down. You know where to find me if you need me,” he mutters under his breath, his hand finding the edge of your solid door until your shaky breath stops him cold.

   “Joel?”

   He can barely turn his head, too afraid that if he looks at you one more time tonight that he’ll finally crack. “Yeah?” he chokes out. 

   “Thank you…”

   One more look at your starry doe eyes and he’s gone. 

   His hand finds the cold doorknob while he gives you a tight-lipped smile and gently closes the door behind him. Your wide doe eyes will surely haunt his dreams tonight. If he even gets any sleep. He thinks he won’t, even if his body is screaming at him, wanting to drag him down until he sees nothing but the backs of his dark eyes. 

   When he finally releases his hand from the doorknob, he stops in his tracks, back suddenly rigid when he hears the faint sounds of your voice cracking, finally letting the tears shed from your eyes. The sound nearly takes him to his knees. 

   He slides down to the ground, back flush to the closed door, sinking lower until he’s sitting against the hard floor feeling completely defeated. He feels as if a large anchor got thrown down on him, chaining him to the cold wood, imprisoning him to hear your muffled cries through the cracks in the walls. 

   He’s so fucking weak. Every part of him is telling him to run into your room, take the pad of his thumb and wipe the tears from your eyes, hold you against his firm chest until you’re quiet and calm, until he can rock you to sleep and take every ounce of pain you feel. 

   But instead, he sits there like a fool with his head hanging low between his thighs, elbows resting on his aching knees, fingers lacing roughly through his mess of greying curls. He needs to get a grip on himself, needs to find just one speck of courage to drag himself to his room. But he finds none, letting the grief and despair chain him right against your door. 

   He can’t stay like this forever. Can’t stay glued to this spot where he can hear you cry yourself to sleep. But he just can’t shake how scared and vulnerable you looked the moment he told you about Carter. Or yet, even just the look on your face when he walked over and you asked if he was hurt. 

   He is hurt and he feels a sharp blade slicing straight down his spine, opening him up and cutting out his nerve endings until he can’t feel the weight of those sad fucking doe eyes. 

   Your pain is now his because he feels everything that you keep bottled up inside. Just like spilled perfume, he’ll soak you up until your pain is no more. He’ll swallow all of it like a spoonful of cough syrup until every last drop is gone. 

   After half an hour of sulking on the floor, your cries die out, and then you’re sound asleep, escaping your pain for just a little while. Until the nightmares run rampant. So, he drags himself to his room, doesn’t even bother shedding his clothes, too tired to do anything but sleep. And when he falls into his bed, he instantly passes out and lets the pain swallow him whole. 

   The last words he hears echoing in his head are ear splitting. You can’t save all of them, you know. You can’t save her. 

   But he’ll try. One way or another, he promises to save you. 

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Silly Billy

THIS SHIT IS SO GOOD. THE DOMESTICITY THE ROUGHNESS THE BREEDING KINK WHAT A BLESSING TO WAKE UP TO

sunset

requested by @pedropeach as part of the 1k fairy circle

pairing: joel miller x f!reader rating: explicit (18+ mdni) summary: joel comes home and gives you what you need. wc: 2.3k tags: no-outbreak AU, established relationship, domestic bliss?? sorry yeah idk who i am either, smut [oral (f!receiving), unprotected PIV, creampie, light breeding kink and light ddlg (but no use of “daddy”)], able-bodied reader, joel helps her up onto the counter, brief mention of body insecurity, sex in the kitchen (clean your counters, folks!) a/n: i– i have no excuse. anyway, love you, cat!!!! hope you like your request x

1k request masterlist | main masterlist | read on AO3 | @5oh5-notifs for fic updates!

The sun sighs down the sky, yawning and stretching. Soft light splays across the floors, washing the furniture in shades of gold. No lights are on, and your eyes are adjusting to the quickly darkening room. You tap your foot against the wooden floor as you place the last plate from the sink into the dish dryer. Joel should be home any minute. 

When you hear the key turn in the lock, you can feel your heartbeat against your ribs. It doesn’t matter how many times he comes home to you or how many times you come home to him – every time feels like the first. When he crosses the threshold, he sees you standing at the sink in soft socked feet, a too-big t-shirt grazing your thighs below the hem of your shorts.

You hear the smirk in his voice. “Hi, baby.”

“Hi,” you smile, turning on your heels as he drops his keys in the bowl, kicks off his shoes, and drops his work bag next to them. He smells like a full day of work, like sawdust and sweat, and you feel the scent of him somewhere deep in your belly. He crosses the distance to you, and you instinctively back against the kitchen island. He traces the side of your jaw with his fingertips.

“Thank you for doing the dishes, angel.” He smiles, and presses a soft kiss to your cheek. 

“Mmhm,” you murmur, skating your hands along his sides and pulling him into you. You look up at him with those eyes, darkened by the setting sun and the feelings you hold somewhere in your chest for him. For him… only for him. He reads them in your face, in your eyes, the way you ball your fists in the excess of his shirt.

“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” he coos, and the drop in his voice sends heat through your limbs, tingles in your fingertips. 

“Been thinking about you,” you admit, as if that’s news, but today it had been worse than usual. You worked from home, sitting at your desk, doing your best to focus on what was in front of you, but Joel was everywhere in this place; you could still smell him on your skin from this morning, still hear his voice in your head, still feel your hands on his skin and the warmth of his hands on yours.

“Oh?” he questions with another smirk, his fingers tracing lightly up the bare skin of your arms and making you shiver. He knows the answer, but fuck if he doesn’t love hearing you say it. “And what does my baby need?”

Your heart drops into your stomach, settling low and hot in your belly. “Need you.”

Before you finish speaking, his hand finds your jaw, and he spreads his fingers along the length of it until your ear settles between them. He pulls your head into his with a gentle push on the back of your neck and kisses you. His tongue finds yours, melding you together, and you sigh against his mouth. Relief.

He pulls back enough to speak, his lips still ghosting yours. “Need me to do what?”

You let out a shaky sigh, your heartbeat low and deep. You lean your head into his hand as he strokes his thumb over your cheek. You meet his eyes, holding his gaze as you say, “Need you to fuck me, Joel.”

He grunts at that, his lips finding your jaw as he licks kisses into the soft skin where it meets your neck. “Well,” he starts, his hands finding your hips and squeezing, “whatever my girl wants, she gets.”

Placing your hands on the counter behind you, you hoist yourself up as he guides you, settling himself between your knees. You run your fingers through his hair as he kisses down the length of your neck. As you spread your legs around him, he can feel you against his middle through your shorts, hot and needy. He pushes your shirt up with his hands and leans down, gripping your sides as he presses kisses to the soft skin of your tummy, across to your hips, and along the waistband of your shorts. You lean back onto your hands and sigh, his curls tickling your skin and his lips leaving a trail of desire across your body. This was once a place that held much insecurity for you, but with every kiss and touch, the voices subside. He presses his palm against your breast, kneading it in his hand as his lips press into your sternum, your shirt falling around the sides of his head. He steadies your back with his other hand as his fingertips find your nipple. He pulls and twists, and you sigh out a ragged moan. 

“Christ,” he breathes as his mouth presses to yours again. With another tug of your nipple, your jaw drops in a silent moan, and he presses his forehead to yours. “So fucking perfect.”

His hands fall to your shorts, tugging on them as you lift your hips off the counter. He drops them to the floor. He wraps his arms around your thighs and pulls, tugging you into him as he leans in and breathes, licking kisses into your thighs. Your breathing shallows, waiting on what you know is coming. He hooks a leg over his shoulder, letting your other one settle on the counter. His eyes are trained on your cunt, messy and sticky and all his. He spreads you open with his fingertips, eyes glazing over at the sight of you spread out before him. He swipes his tongue over your needy hole, tastes all that you offer him, and smiles into you. You fist a hand into his hair as his lips find your clit, swirling his tongue across it and pulling it into his mouth. He suckles on it and you whine, your head falling back on your shoulders. He continues to eat at you, flicking his tongue over your clit in the shape of every word of love he’s ever spoken to you, and you can’t do anything but moan and squirm and whimper. He holds you as still as he can with his arm hooked around your leg. 

“Jo-oel,” you whine, and he looks up at you. “Need to be filled up, baby,” you sigh, and he can’t help the twitch of his cock or the smirk on his lips.

“Yes you do, don’t you sweetheart?” he coos. He trails his free hand down, fingertips coming to play at your entrance, and once he’s covered them in your slick he sinks his middle finger inside of you, quickly joined by another. It only takes a few pumps of his fingers against your g-spot to send you hurtling over the edge, pussy clamping down around his fingers and a high moan escaping your lips. He doesn’t stop, fucking and licking you through it as you squirm and pant. He looks up at you through hooded eyes, through those beautiful eyelashes, and smirks. Against the skin of your cunt, his nose and mouth and beard shimmering in your release, fingers still pumping in and out of you, he murmurs, “One.”

You’re fucked.

His tongue returns to your clit, flicking and kissing and sucking, his fingers filling you and stretching you just enough. The fire in your belly has not gone out, and you feel like the flame could burn you alive. He curls his fingers ever so slightly, and in a few more pumps, you’re gone again. He moans into you as he tastes your release, and you think you hear the word “Two.”

“You’ve got one more for me, baby, I know you do,” he groans, and adds a third finger. You writhe back on the counter, but he locks you against him with his arm. Somehow, he was right, and as he continues to lick and suck at your clit and fill you with his fingers, you come again. 

This time he slows his fingers, licks your release from your messy hole, presses kisses into your thighs, and nips at the skin as you come down. You clench again and again around his fingers. When your breathing has evened out, he slides his fingers from your body and with his eyes on yours, licks your release from them. “Three.”

Still dressed in his work jeans, his cock presses uncomfortably against the now-wet fabric. You eye it as he stands, one hand still resting on your thigh. The evidence of your orgasms is written all over your face. “Want your cock, Joel,” you murmur, and he lets out a soft laugh. 

“I know, baby, I know,” he coos, his eyes dark. 

“How do you know?” you ask, the question coming out as a sigh. He knows, he always knows.

He smirks, tracing his hand up your thigh to rest where your hip creases. “‘Cause you can still talk,” he whispers, his lips tracing the shell of your ear.

You answer with a shaky moan, your head falling forward against his shoulder. You can take more, you want more. You want everything.

“Mmm…” he sighs. “Come here, needy girl, let me fix that.”

He pulls you off the counter, and your legs wobble as you stand. He’s quick to turn you around in his arms, holding you up against the counter and wrapping an arm around your belly. He licks kisses down your ear, your jaw, your neck, and you lean back into him and sigh. He feels your little sounds in every cell in his body. So perfect for him, so soft, so needy.

He follows you down, kissing the back of your neck as he bends you over the counter. He drags his hands down the length of your back, only to push them back up, pushing your shirt up along with them. He traces his eyes over the curve of your back, your hips, your ass. He kneads the flesh in his palms, watching the way it presses between his fingers. With one hand still on your hip, he undoes his belt and you hear the metal buckle hit the floor. He undoes the button and pulls the zipper, and you can feel your breathing slow, mind empty except for the anticipation of having him inside of you. The next thing you feel is the head of his cock at your entrance as he smears your wetness all over him. When he pushes in, the sound he makes is desperate, relieved. The stretch stings, always so much, and when he finally fills you completely, he’s so deep you feel it in your chest.

“Christ, this perfect fucking pussy sucks me right in every time,” he groans, digging his fingers into your hips. 

“Uh-huh,” you mutter, your cheek resting on the back of your hands, your mouth open as your breathing shallows at the feeling of him stretching and filling you. He pulls back and you moan, but just as quickly he’s fucking back in, pulling your cunt over him again and again, your ass recoiling against his hips with every thrust. The feeling is overwhelming, and you pant and shake as his cock pushes against your g-spot. Your mind is empty, eyes fluttering closed, the only sounds are Joel’s groans mixing with yours and the wet sucking sound of your cunt pulling him in and pushing him back out. He picks up the pace, and you feel dizzy from how hard he fucks you now, the feeling of him all-encompassing. 

“This what you need, sweet girl? Need to get filled up and fucked?”

You cry out instead of answering, another orgasm ripping through your body. Without stopping, he leans down to wrap his arm around your waist, pulling you up and back into his chest. His pace slows, deep and intentional. He murmurs directly in your ear. “Need me to fuck a baby into this sweet little cunt?” 

You moan raggedly and go boneless in his grasp, your head falling back against him at his words. “Yes, baby, need you to–” Another thrust causes you to lose your words, and you moan instead. “Need you to make me yours forever.”

He kisses your ear. “I already am.”

He gently pushes you back down on the counter, grabbing onto your hips and splaying his other hand up the length of your back. He wraps his fingers around the back of your neck and fucks into you, pulling your body against his again and again. His thrusts stutter and he loses his rhythm, his fingers tightening around the back of your neck and shoulder as he comes, fucking his spend deep into the warmth of your body. He stills, shutters, and releases his hold. He leans down to rest his head between your shoulder blades, and sighs warm breath onto the sticky skin of your back. You stay like that, his fingers tracing shapes on your hips as he comes down. When he pulls out, he watches himself dribble out of you and down your thighs. He smiles to himself. You’re on the pill, this won’t take anyway, but someday…

He turns you around, kissing you and pulling your bottom lip into his mouth. “Let me clean you up.”

He leaves one hand on your waist, never not touching you, as he grabs a clean towel from the basket on the counter and wets part of it in the sink. He helps you back up on the counter, your limbs too shaky, and you lean back as he wipes your collective mess off of your thighs, your cunt, cupping it with the cool towel and kissing you again and again.

The golden light of sunset has faded into the bluish haze of late evening, and your body feels heavy and tingly, sticky and warm. You sit up and smile sleepily at him. 

“Stay there, baby,” he smiles. “Let me make us some dinner, hm?”

thank you for reading!! x

Silent Strain | part v

Outbreak!Joel Miller x f! reader

previous chapter | next chapter

summary: Joel's return came along with some demons following behind and secrets he doesn't want to confess.

w.c: 14k.

Warnings: angst, Joel acts a little dumb during this chapter, fluff, allusions to smut at the end, not proofreading.

a/n: the original chapter was deleted from my laptop and I had to rewrite it again. I didn't remember everything so this one was a bit more dramatic than the original, cuz your writer here was dumped yesterday (💀) besides I wanted to focus on their reunion. The next one is going to be better I promise and Joel is going to behave better🤞✨ thank you so much for your support. Reblogs and comments are always appreciated 💌

dividers by @/saradika-graphics

“I’m sorry,” Joel whispered, his voice rough with emotion. “I’m so damn sorry. I never wanted to leave you—never wanted to hurt you.”

You pulled back just enough to look up at him, your gaze meeting his. His eyes, usually so guarded, were filled with an overwhelming sorrow and love that made your heart clench. He lifted a hand to cup your face, his thumb gently wiping away your tears.

“I didn’t know what else to do,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “I thought… I thought I doing what was right. But I know I hurt you”

You nodded, unable to form words, your emotions too raw, too tangled. But you could see it now, the regret, the pain he carried just as heavily as you had. And while the hurt of him leaving still lingered, there was something else too, something stronger: the undeniable bond between you, the love that had survived despite everything.

Joel leaned down, pressing his forehead against yours, his breath warm and shaky. “I’m here now. I’m not going anywhere, I swear.”

For the first time in what felt like an eternity, you let yourself believe it. You closed your eyes, breathing in the familiar scent of him, feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest against yours.

As you pulled away from Joel's embrace, your eyes fell on Ellie. She stood awkwardly by the door, her arms crossed over her chest, her face shadowed with guilt. She glanced up at you timidly, as if unsure of her place in all of this. Her usually tough exterior seemed to crumble in that moment, revealing the vulnerable girl beneath.

You could see it in her eyes—the weight she carried, the guilt, the fear that maybe she had been part of the reason Joel left, that she had put him in danger that she had separated Joel from you, that somehow this was her fault. But you couldn’t let her believe that. Ellie had been through enough already, and the last thing you wanted was for her to feel like she didn’t belong like she wasn’t part of your family.

Without a second thought, you walked over to her, your steps steady and sure. She blinked, clearly taken off guard, her eyes widening slightly as you reached her. Before she could say anything, you pulled her into a tight embrace, wrapping your arms around her in the same way you had with Joel. You felt her stiffen at first, uncertain, but then she relaxed into the hug, her small frame leaning into yours.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” you whispered, your voice soft but filled with sincerity.

Ellie didn’t say anything at first, but you felt her arms slowly lift to return the embrace, her fingers clutching the fabric of your shirt like she was holding on for dear life. Her breath hitched slightly, and you could tell she was trying not to cry, to hold onto her usual tough façade. But in that moment, it didn’t matter. She needed to know she was safe, that she was loved.

When you finally pulled back, you kept your hands on her shoulders, looking her in the eye. “It’s not your fault,” you said firmly, wanting her to understand that.

She swallowed hard, her gaze flicking to the floor. “I—I thought you would hate me,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. “I thought I… messed everything up.”

“You didn’t,” you reassured her, your voice gentle but steady. “You brought him. You both made it back, and that’s what matters. We’re together now.”

Ellie nodded slowly, though the guilt still lingered in her eyes. But there was a flicker of relief too, a small spark of hope that she wasn’t alone in this, that she didn’t have to carry the burden by herself anymore.

Ellie’s eyes shifted down to your abdomen, where your once swollen belly was now gone, her brows furrowing in confusion. “Where’s the baby?” she asked, her voice quiet but filled with curiosity, almost as if she wasn’t sure how to ask the question.

You smiled gently, the warmth of the moment settling in as you glanced toward the bedroom’s door. “She’s sleeping now,” you answered softly, a deep sense of pride and tenderness filling your chest.

“She?” Joel’s voice cut through the quiet, and you turned to see him staring at you with wide eyes, his expression a mixture of awe and disbelief. “A baby girl?”

You nodded, your eyes softening as you looked at him. “Yeah… a baby girl. Rosie.”

For a moment, Joel didn’t move, his eyes flicking between you and the door to the bedroom where his daughter was sleeping, as though he was trying to wrap his mind around the reality of it. His baby girl. The emotions that flickered across his face—joy, relief, maybe even a little fear—were unmistakable.

“She’s beautiful, Joel,” you said quietly, watching as his eyes grew glassy.

Joel swallowed hard, trying to keep his emotions in check, but it was clear that the weight of the moment was sinking in. He blinked a few times, as if still trying to comprehend what you had said. “Rosie…” he whispered, the name sounding foreign but perfect on his lips. He nodded slowly, as if saying it aloud made it more real. “Can I see her?” he asked.

Joel’s gaze softened, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears. The man who had once been hardened by loss and pain now stood before you, vulnerable and overwhelmed by the love he had found again. “I… I need to see her,” he finally managed, his voice thick with emotion.

You smiled, your heart swelling at his tenderness. “Go ahead. She’s waiting for you.”

Joel hesitated for a second, as if afraid to move, but then slowly made his way toward the bedroom door. Ellie stayed back, watching the exchange with a faint smile, but there was still something distant in her gaze. You gave her a reassuring look, hoping to bridge the gap that seemed to have formed between you all since they had returned.

When Joel disappeared into the room, you turned your attention back to Ellie. “You did the right thing, Ellie. You brought him back.”

Ellie shifted uncomfortably, running a hand through her hair. “I don’t know… it doesn’t feel like it.”

You stepped closer to her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. “You did. We’re here now, because of you. And Rosie’s going to need you too.”

Ellie’s eyes softened, the guilt still lingering, but she nodded slowly. “I’ll try,” she muttered, her voice barely above a whisper.

You gave Ellie a soft smile, sensing the weight of everything she had gone through. “Come on,” you said, your voice gentle. “Let’s go see Rosie together.”

Ellie looked at you hesitantly, her brow furrowing as if she wasn’t sure whether she should join, but you could see the curiosity in her eyes. You reached out your hand, offering her the choice. “She’s part of you too, Ellie. You’ve been with us through everything.”

After a moment’s pause, Ellie slowly placed her hand in yours, the corners of her lips lifting into a tentative smile. You led her toward the bedroom where Joel was standing over Rosie’s crib, his hand softly resting on her tiny back as she slept. He glanced up when the two of you entered, his eyes warm and full of emotion, but they softened even more when he saw Ellie.

“She’s real tiny,” Ellie muttered under her breath, taking cautious steps toward the crib. She peered down at Rosie, her eyes widening as if she couldn’t believe the sight in front of her.

“She is,” Joel whispered, his voice filled with awe. He glanced at you, his expression still laced with wonder.

Ellie stood beside Joel, looking down at Rosie with a mixture of fascination and uncertainty. “I’ve never seen a baby this close before,” she admitted quietly, her hand twitching a little as if she wanted to reach out but wasn’t sure if she should.

You gave her a reassuring nod. “You can touch her, Ellie. She’s stronger than she looks.”

Ellie hesitated for a moment before gently placing her hand on Rosie’s small, delicate arm. Rosie shifted in her sleep but didn’t wake, her tiny fingers curling slightly at the warmth of Ellie’s touch. Ellie’s eyes softened even more, and for a moment, she just stood there, her expression almost unreadable, but you knew there was a flicker of something new—a sense of connection.

“She’s… warm,” Ellie whispered, her voice barely audible. There was a tenderness in her gaze now, something you hadn’t seen in a long time, and it made your heart swell.

Joel wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you close as you watched Ellie bond with Rosie. The three of you stood there, sharing a quiet moment that felt sacred, a moment where everything—despite the hardships, the losses, and the uncertainty—seemed to fall into place.

Joel’s gaze shifted from Rosie to you, his arm tightening around your waist as he pulled you even closer. The softness in his eyes made your heart flutter—there was love there, deep and unwavering, but also gratitude. He looked at you as if he couldn’t believe everything that had come to pass, how the three of you were here, together, in this moment.

“You,” he whispered, his voice rough but tender, “you’ve given me everything.”

His words hit you like a wave, and you felt the emotion rising in your chest. You turned to face him fully, your hands resting gently on his chest as you met his gaze. “Joel…”

Before you could say anything more, he cupped your face in his hands, his thumbs gently brushing your cheeks. “I don’t think I ever believed I’d have this again,” he admitted, his voice low, full of reverence. “A family.”

Your heart swelled, the weight of his words sinking in. The years of survival, of pain, and of loss had hardened Joel in so many ways, but here he was—vulnerable, open, and holding on to the life you had built together.

“We are a family,” you whispered, your voice thick with emotion. “You, me, Ellie, and Rosie. We’re a family, Joel.”

Joel’s lips twitched into a soft smile as he pulled you closer, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I’m never lettin’ this go. I swear.”

The warmth of his touch, the steady beat of his heart under your hands—it all made you feel safe, anchored in a world that had once felt like it was always slipping away. You tilted your head up, meeting his lips in a soft kiss, a promise shared between the two of you, wordless but understood.

Ellie, sensing the intimacy of the moment, quietly stepped back from Rosie’s crib and gave the two of you space. She glanced back at Rosie with a small smile before slipping out of the room, leaving you and Joel alone in the soft morning light.

Joel kissed you again, slower this time, his lips lingering against yours as if he needed to savor the feeling. When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours. “Thank you,” he murmured, his breath warm against your skin. “For all of this.”

The afternoon passed by quietly, the atmosphere shifting slightly as the day wore on. Joel hadn’t explained much about the thin cut on his neck, and though it didn’t look too serious, it was enough to keep you glancing at him, worry bubbling beneath the surface. Every time you caught his eye, he brushed it off, offering a small smile as if to say it was nothing.

But Ellie had noticed it too, and her mood shifted. She grew more silent, retreating into herself in a way that made the room feel heavier. The unspoken tension lingered between the three of you, subtle but present.

Tommy stopped by for a moment, stepping through the door with a light knock. He exchanged a few words with Joel, his eyes flicking between the two of you as if sensing something wasn’t quite right. You tried to keep things normal, making small talk with Tommy about the day, but even he seemed to feel the undercurrent of unease.

When Tommy left, the silence settled in again, more noticeable this time. You looked between Joel and Ellie, feeling the weight of whatever was unspoken, and decided to break the tension the only way you knew how.

“I’ll make us something to eat,” you offered, your voice light as you stood from the couch. “How about some soup? We could all use something warm.”

But Ellie shook her head, her eyes downcast. “I’m not really hungry,” she muttered, her voice low, almost detached.

You glanced at Joel, who shot you a quick look of concern. He cleared his throat, trying to ease the tension. “You should eat, kid. We’ve been on the road for a long time. Ain’t good to go too long without a meal.”

Ellie shrugged, not looking up. “I’m fine,” she said, but there was an edge to her tone, like something was bothering her. Something she wasn’t saying.

Joel frowned, but didn’t push. You could see the worry in his eyes, though—he didn’t like this silence from Ellie any more than you did. You gave her a soft look, stepping closer to where she sat.

“Ellie, if something’s on your mind, you can talk to me,” you said gently, trying to draw her out of the shell she was retreating into.

She glanced up at you, her expression tight, but didn’t respond. Instead, she shifted on the couch and crossed her arms, staring at the floor.

The room felt tense again, and you exchanged another glance with Joel. He reached out, rubbing the back of his neck, where the cut still seemed to be bothering him. You couldn’t help but feel that whatever had happened out there—on their journey back—was still casting a shadow over them both.

Sighing softly, you stepped back towards the kitchen. “I’ll make something small, just in case you change your mind,” you said, your voice quieter now.

As you moved to prepare the food, you couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to the silence than just hunger or exhaustion. You knew Ellie had been through something on the road with Joel, something that neither of them had fully opened up about yet. And it hung in the air, like a storm cloud waiting to break.

You paused in the doorway of the kitchen, glancing back at Ellie. The heaviness in the air was hard to ignore, but you tried to push past it. “I’ll just whip up something light,” you began, hoping it might help ease the tension.

But before you could take another step, Ellie’s voice cut through the quiet. “No,” she said abruptly, her tone sharper than you expected. She pushed herself up from the couch, her movements quick and tense. “I’m just gonna… go to bed,” she muttered, avoiding eye contact as she made her way towards the bedroom.

You exchanged a quick look with Joel, his brow furrowed as he watched Ellie’s retreating form. Neither of you said anything, but the worry was evident in his eyes. Something was wrong.

Ellie paused at the door to the bedroom, her hand lingering on the handle as if she wanted to say more, but whatever words she had were swallowed by the silence. She opened the door and slipped inside, closing it softly behind her.

You stood there for a moment, feeling the weight of her absence in the room, the quiet settling in again, even more oppressive now that she was gone. The silence between you and Joel felt loaded, like both of you knew there were things left unsaid, but neither of you knew where to start.

Joel let out a long breath, rubbing the back of his neck again, his fingers brushing the cut there. You moved closer to him, your eyes drawn to the mark on his skin. “You still haven’t told me what happened,” you said softly, your gaze meeting his.

He looked away for a moment, as if gathering his thoughts, before finally speaking. “It ain’t important,” he said gruffly, but the way he avoided your eyes told you otherwise.

You gently reached for his hand, your fingers brushing his. “Joel… please.”

He sighed heavily, his shoulders slumping a little as he looked at you. There was a flicker of pain in his eyes, a heaviness he couldn’t quite shake. “We ran into some trouble on the way back,” he admitted, his voice low. “Got separated for a bit, and… things got rough.”

You frowned, your heart tightening with worry. “Separated? How bad was it?”

Joel hesitated, his jaw clenching slightly. “Bad enough,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. He glanced towards the bedroom door, where Ellie had disappeared. “She blames herself for a lot of it… thinks she didn’t do enough.”

You sighed, your heart aching for Ellie. “She’s just a kid, Joel. She carries too much already.”

He nodded, the guilt in his eyes unmistakable. “I know. But try tellin’ her that.” He rubbed a hand over his face, exhaustion clear in his posture.

You reached up, brushing a thumb over the cut on his neck. “And this?”

Joel shrugged slightly, as if trying to play it off. “It’s nothin’. Just a scrape.”

You gave him a pointed look, knowing there was more to it than he was letting on, but you also knew better than to push him too hard. Not right now. “You should rest too,” you said quietly, your hand still resting on his arm.

Joel looked at you for a long moment, his gaze softening. “Yeah,” he agreed, though his eyes kept flicking back to the closed bedroom door, the weight of everything still hanging between you both.

You stepped closer, wrapping your arms around him gently, offering him the comfort he wouldn’t ask for but clearly needed. He held you close, his grip a little tighter than usual, as if grounding himself in the moment.

The room was quiet, save for the soft creak of the floorboards as you swayed gently back and forth, cradling Rosie in your arms. Her tiny breaths were slow and even, her little face peaceful as she slept against your chest. The warmth of her body, the softness of her skin—it all made the world outside seem far away for a moment.

You hadn’t noticed Joel standing in the doorway, his presence silent but heavy. He watched you, his expression unreadable, a strange mix of emotions flickering across his face. There was something in his eyes—something you couldn’t quite place—that hadn’t been there before their return. A shadow that lingered, clinging to him like a weight he couldn’t shake.

As you continued to rock Rosie gently, you felt a subtle shift in the air, a tension that hadn’t been there before. It was as if whatever they had been through out there hadn’t just stayed outside the walls of your home—it had seeped in, affecting everything. You could feel it in Joel’s silence, in the way Ellie had shut down, in the way Joel’s hand kept rubbing the back of his neck as if the cut there was more than just a physical wound.

You gently lowered Rosie into her crib, your movements careful, as though you could shield her from the unease that had crept into your home. Her tiny body shifted for a moment before she settled back into sleep, completely unaware of the turmoil that seemed to swirl around her.

When you finally turned, you saw Joel standing there, his hand resting on the doorframe. His gaze was fixed on you, but he didn’t say anything. He just stood there, watching, his face a mask of quiet contemplation.

“Joel?” you asked softly, taking a step toward him.

He blinked, as if snapping out of a trance, his eyes flicking away from you. “Didn’t mean to disturb you,” he muttered, his voice low.

“You weren’t,” you replied, your voice just as soft. “Is everything okay?”

Joel didn’t answer right away. He stepped into the room a little further, his gaze landing on Rosie in the crib. His face softened for a moment, but that strange tension still lingered. “I don’t know,” he admitted finally, his voice quiet and unsure, something that didn’t sit right with you.

You walked up to him, close enough to place a gentle hand on his arm. “Whatever it is, we can talk about it, Joel. You don’t have to carry it all alone.”

He looked down at you, his jaw tightening slightly. There was a flicker of hesitation in his eyes, as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t bring himself to. “No…I just wanted to say goodnight to the both of you.”

“What do you mean?” you asked, almost whispering “Aren’t you sleeping here?”

“I thought you didn’t want me to.” He said, and the way and the voice you wanted to hear almost seemed to break you.

Joel’s words hit you like a punch to the gut, and for a moment, you were speechless. The vulnerability in his voice, the way he spoke as though he believed he was no longer welcome here, made your heart ache.

You stepped closer, your hand still resting on his arm, this time with a firmer grip, as though you were afraid he might slip away. “What?” you whispered, your voice shaking slightly. “Why would you think that?”

Joel’s eyes flicked down, avoiding yours, his jaw clenched tightly. “After… everything. Thought maybe you’d want some space,” he muttered, his voice rougher now, as though forcing out the words was difficult for him.

His insecurity broke something inside you. This man, who had carried so much for so long, was now standing in front of you, so unsure of where he stood, and it was almost unbearable.

“Joel,” you said softly, lifting your hand to his cheek, trying to get him to look at you. “I spent all this time missing you, how could you think that?”

Joel finally looked up at you, his eyes softening just enough for you to see the flicker of doubt that had settled deep inside him. “I know you missed me,” he said quietly, his voice still rough but tinged with the slightest trace of vulnerability. “But missin’ someone and wantin’ them back after what they’ve done… those are two different things.”

Your heart ached at his words. “Joel, don’t you understand?” you whispered, stepping closer to him, your hand still resting on his cheek. “I missed you. The real you. The man who keeps me safe, the one who’s always been there, no matter what.”

He swallowed hard, his gaze searching your face as if trying to find the truth in your words. “You don’t know what I’ve done,” he said softly, almost as if he were confessing. “Out there, with Ellie… I didn’t know if I could come back from it.”

His words hung heavy between you, and you could feel the weight of everything he wasn’t saying—everything he believed he had to carry on his own. But you weren’t going to let him carry it alone anymore.

“I don’t care what happened out there,” you said firmly, shaking your head. “Whatever you did, whatever choices you had to make to keep Ellie safe, to come back to me… it doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

Joel’s jaw tightened again, but this time, it wasn’t out of anger or frustration—it was the struggle of holding back the emotion threatening to overwhelm him. “How can you still say that? After all this?” he rasped, his voice thick.

“Because I love you, Joel,” you said, your voice breaking as you spoke the words you hadn’t said in so long. “And nothing will ever change that.”

For a moment, he just stared at you, his eyes filled with a mixture of disbelief and something else—something deeper, more profound. Then, slowly, he let out a shaky breath, his shoulders slumping slightly as though the weight of his guilt was beginning to ease, just a little.

Without saying a word, Joel pulled you into his arms, holding you tight against his chest. You felt the tension in his body, the way he seemed to be holding on as if you were the only thing keeping him steady.

“I don’t deserve you,” he whispered into your hair, his voice barely audible.

“You deserve everything,” you murmured back, your heart full as you held onto him just as tightly. “Everything, Joel.”

The two of you stood there for what felt like an eternity, wrapped in each other’s warmth, neither wanting to let go. Eventually, Joel loosened his grip, pulling back just enough to look at you. His eyes were still soft, but the weight of all that he had carried was visible in the dark circles under them. You traced a finger along his jawline, feeling the roughness of his stubble, a small smile tugging at your lips despite the heaviness of the moment.

“Let’s get some rest,” you said quietly, your hand sliding down to take his. Joel nodded, and together you climbed into bed, the weight of everything still lingering, but with the promise that you weren’t alone anymore. As you settled under the blankets, Joel wrapped an arm around you, pulling you close, his warmth grounding you.

You both fell asleep for the first time in months with a sense of peace.

Hours later, you stirred, feeling the coolness of the sheets beside you. Your hand instinctively reached out, searching for Joel, but the space next to you was empty. Groggily, you opened your eyes, glancing around the room. The soft moonlight streaming through the window cast shadows across the bed, and that familiar sense of panic began to rise in your chest.

You sat up, the dim room spinning for a moment before you steadied yourself. Rosie’s crib was empty, too. Your heart raced as your mind immediately went to the worst possible scenarios, a habit you'd developed in this unforgiving world.

“Joel?” you whispered into the quiet, your voice cracking.

Pushing back the blankets, you swung your legs over the edge of the bed and stood up, your body tense with fear. You listened for any sound—a cry, a murmur—but the house was eerily silent. Barefoot, you padded towards the door, your pulse hammering in your ears. You stepped out into the hallway, your senses heightened, trying to catch any sign of movement.

Then, as you reached the end of the hallway, you saw them.

Joel was sitting in the old rocking chair near the window, cradling Rosie in his arms. The soft creak of the chair rocked in rhythm with his gentle humming, a melody so faint you could barely make it out. Rosie’s tiny face was nestled against Joel’s chest, her tiny fingers clutching at his shirt. Her eyes were closed, her small body relaxed in his strong arms.

The sight of them together made the panic that had gripped you slowly melt away, replaced by a deep, overwhelming tenderness.

Joel’s back was to you, but as if sensing your presence, he turned his head slightly, catching your gaze in the moonlight. His eyes softened when he saw you standing there, his lips parting as if to apologize.

“She woke up,” he whispered, his voice low and raspy in the stillness of the night. “Didn’t want to wake you, so I brought her out here.”

You stepped closer, your breath evening out now that you knew everything was okay. "You didn’t have to," you murmured softly, kneeling beside the chair so you were level with them. Your hand reached out to gently brush Rosie’s soft hair, the steady rise and fall of her breathing soothing your own nerves.

Joel shook his head, his gaze dropping back to Rosie. “I wanted to,” he admitted quietly, his voice thick with emotion. “I’m obsessed with her. She is so beautiful”

His words hung in the air, and for a moment, all the fear, all the guilt he had carried for months seemed to dissolve in the quiet of this simple, intimate moment.

You leaned your head against Joel’s arm, taking in the warmth of him, the scent of Rosie’s baby skin. It wasn’t just about surviving anymore. It was about moments like this, holding on to the people you loved, no matter how broken the world outside was.

“She is” you replied, “You know, since she was born, I spent nights without finding myself able to sleep.” You low your gaze to Rosie, “I couldn’t. I was alone and I was scared something could ever happen to her. I needed to stay awake and make sure she was breathing”

Joel listened to you, but his heart broke a little inside, he had left you behind all this time when you needed him the most. Just when you have started your motherhood.

Joel’s chest tightened at your words, the weight of his absence settling heavily on his shoulders. He looked down at Rosie, the tiny bundle of innocence cradled in his arms, and the guilt surged through him once more. You had been alone during some of the most vulnerable moments of your life, forced to navigate the terrifying responsibility of motherhood in a world that had already taken so much from both of you.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, his voice barely audible, thick with regret. His gaze remained fixed on Rosie, his thumb gently stroking her soft cheek. “I should’ve been here. I should’ve been by your side. You shouldn’t have had to go through any of that alone.”

You could hear the pain in his voice, the anguish of a man who felt he had failed the people he loved most. It wasn’t his fault. You knew that. The world had forced his hand—forced him into impossible choices, and you had never blamed him for leaving. But hearing him say those words still made your heart ache.

“It wasn’t your fault, Joel,” you said softly, your hand reaching for his. “I know why you had to go with Ellie. I know you didn’t have a choice.”

Joel’s jaw clenched, his face hardening for a moment as if he were wrestling with the weight of everything he had done—everything he had seen. His eyes flicked back to yours, and you could see the vulnerability there, the raw emotion he rarely let anyone see.

“I still should’ve been here,” he repeated, his voice rough. “I should’ve found a way.”

You gave his hand a gentle squeeze, trying to ease the guilt that was eating away at him. “You’re here now,” you said quietly, your voice full of understanding. “That’s what matters.”

Joel nodded, but you could tell he was still struggling to accept that. His gaze fell back to Rosie, his expression softening as he watched her sleep so peacefully, oblivious to the storm of emotions swirling around her parents.

“She’s everything,” Joel murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’ve never seen anything more beautiful in my life.” He smiled and looked at you for a moment “Well, after you.”

A warmth spread through you at Joel’s words, his soft smile disarming in a way that always managed to pull you in, no matter the weight of the world outside. You felt a flush rise to your cheeks, but you couldn’t help the smile that tugged at your lips. In moments like this, it was easy to forget the pain, the loss, and everything you had both endured to get here.

“Well,” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper as your fingers gently brushed Rosie’s tiny hand, “you have good taste.”

Joel chuckled softly, the sound low and comforting. It was rare to hear him laugh these days, and when it happened, it felt like a small victory against the darkness that so often consumed him. He looked at you again, his eyes full of affection, and for a brief moment, the guilt and weight he carried seemed to ease.

“You both deserve better,” he said quietly, the smile fading just a little, as the seriousness returned to his voice. “I’m gonna do everything I can to make sure you have it.”

You shook your head slightly, your hand still resting on his arm. “Joel, you’ve already given us everything that matters. We’re here, together. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

His eyes softened at your words, and he swallowed hard, as if trying to push down the emotion that threatened to overwhelm him. “I don’t know how you do it,” he whispered, almost as if he were speaking to himself. “How you still see good in me after everything I’ve done.”

You leaned in closer, your hand moving to cup his cheek, guiding his gaze back to yours. “Because I know who you are, Joel. I know your heart. Everything you’ve done.

He let out a long breath, his jaw tightening for a moment before relaxing under your touch. “I hope you’re right,” he murmured, his eyes searching yours as if seeking reassurance.

“I am,” you said firmly, your thumb gently stroking his cheek. “You’re a good man, Joel. Rosie and I are lucky to have you.”

For a moment, he just looked at you, the flicker of doubt in his eyes slowly giving way to something softer, something more certain. He leaned in and kissed you, his lips gentle but full of emotion, as though trying to convey everything he couldn’t say with words.

When he pulled back, there was a quiet resolve in his eyes. “I’ll never stop tryin’ to be better for you. For her.”

“You already are,” you whispered, your heart full as you rested your forehead against his.

In the quiet of the night, with Rosie’s steady breathing filling the space between you, it felt like—despite everything—the world had given you something precious. Something worth fighting for.

The next morning, sunlight filtered through the small window of your bedroom, casting a warm glow over the room. The remnants of last night's conversation lingered in the air, but today felt different—lighter somehow. There was a sense of normalcy that hadn't been present for months.

You woke up to the sound of soft baby coos coming from Rosie’s crib. Blinking your eyes open, you smiled as you watched her tiny hands wave in the air, her chubby cheeks flushed with the early morning light. She was your world, and seeing her safe and content filled you with a quiet peace.

Joel stirred beside you, his arm still loosely wrapped around your waist. It was rare for him to sleep in this late, but after everything, it was no surprise he needed the rest. You gently slipped out from under his arm, careful not to wake him, and padded over to Rosie. Her wide eyes looked up at you as you picked her up, her little body warm and soft against yours.

“Good morning, baby girl,” you whispered, pressing a kiss to her forehead. She gurgled in response, her hands reaching for your face, and you couldn’t help but laugh softly.

You took your time feeding her, sitting by the window and watching the town of Jackson slowly come to life. The quiet streets were starting to bustle with activity as people moved about, tending to their duties within the community. It still amazed you sometimes—the sense of order and peace here, despite everything the world had become.

Jackson had become home, and though the scars of the past were still healing, there was a strange comfort in the routine of it all. Maria had been incredibly kind, offering you a place in the community and even helping you when Rosie was born. She had become a friend, and in many ways, a guiding force in these new chapters of your life.

As you dressed Rosie for the day, Joel finally stirred from the bed, sitting up with a groan. He rubbed his eyes, still clearly tired, but there was a soft smile on his face when he looked over at you and Rosie.

“Mornin',” he said, his voice rough from sleep.

“Morning,” you replied, walking over with Rosie in your arms. Joel reached out, gently taking her from you, and held her close, pressing a kiss to her tiny head. You watched as his entire demeanor softened in her presence, the way it always did. He’d always been protective, but since he returned, there was something deeper, a sense of devotion that went beyond just survival.

“You sleep, okay?” you asked, sitting down beside him.

“Yeah,” he said, nodding. “Better than I have in a while.”

You smiled at that, glad that he was finally starting to find some peace. “Good.”

Joel shifted his focus back to Rosie, his fingers tracing little patterns on her arm. “Ellie’s probably out there already,” he muttered, glancing towards the window. “Kid doesn’t know how to take it easy.”

You chuckled softly. “That’s Ellie for you.”

After a few more moments of quiet, Joel handed Rosie back to you and stood, stretching his arms with a grunt. “I’ll go find her, make sure she’s not causing too much trouble.”

You smiled at him, watching as he pulled on his boots and threw on his jacket. Before leaving, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “I’ll see you later,” he murmured.

“See you,” you replied, watching him disappear out the door.

Just as Joel reached for the door, ready to head out, a sharp knock echoed through the small house. His hand froze on the doorknob, and he exchanged a quick glance with you, his brows furrowed in slight confusion. It was early, and few people usually came by without warning.

Joel opened the door cautiously, his posture tense, ready for anything—old habits that hadn’t quite left him despite the relative safety of Jackson. Standing on the other side of the threshold was a man Joel hadn’t seen before—tall, with a calm but confident demeanor. He was holding a bag slung over his shoulder, the kind you’d expect a doctor to carry.

Joel’s eyes narrowed. “Who are you?” he asked, his voice guarded, suspicion still lacing his tone even though the man seemed harmless enough.

The stranger smiled politely, though there was a flicker of recognition in his eyes. He glanced over Joel’s shoulder for a moment before responding. “We didn’t have the chance to meet before you left,” he said, his voice calm but measured. “I’m Paul. I’m the doctor here. Helped deliver Rosie while you were… gone.”

At the mention of Rosie, Joel’s expression shifted, though his guarded stance didn’t relax completely. The words carried weight, and though Paul’s tone was professional, Joel didn’t miss the subtle undertone that lingered in the air—one that said Paul had been there, playing a part in your life during his absence.

Before Joel could say anything, you appeared behind him, Rosie still nestled against your chest in the sling. Paul’s eyes flicked toward you, his expression softening for a moment, but the tension between you two was palpable. Your shoulders stiffened, your demeanor guarded and cool, the remnants of your last conversation with him still fresh in your mind.

Paul nodded slightly in your direction. “Morning,” he greeted, though his tone lacked the warmth it once held.

You gave a short nod in response, your voice clipped. “Morning.”

Joel’s eyes darted between the two of you, immediately picking up on the tension. His jaw clenched as he studied Paul, piecing together the unspoken dynamic that was hanging heavy in the air.

“So, you’re the one who delivered Rosie,” Joel said, his voice tight, though he managed to keep his tone neutral. He didn’t know the details, but something about Paul’s presence seemed to rub him the wrong way.

Paul nodded, though his gaze lingered on you for a moment before shifting back to Joel. “Yes. I was just doing my job—helping out where I could.”

Joel’s expression hardened at the subtle implication in Paul’s words, but he didn’t rise to it. He simply crossed his arms over his chest, his eyes locking onto Paul’s with a quiet intensity. “Well, we’re grateful,” he said, his voice low, but there was no mistaking the edge to his tone.

Paul, sensing the unspoken challenge in Joel’s words, shifted his weight slightly. He was used to navigating the delicate lines of life in Jackson, and he had expected this moment ever since Joel had returned. Still, it was clear that whatever he had with you—whatever connection might have developed during Joel’s absence—wasn’t something either of you had wanted to acknowledge out loud.

“I just wanted to stop by and check on Rosie,” Paul said, his voice more professional now, though the tension in the air was still thick. “Make sure everything’s going well.”

“She’s fine,” you answered, your voice a little too sharp. “Healthy and strong.”

Paul gave a tight-lipped smile, glancing at the baby for a brief second before looking back at you. “I’m glad to hear it.”

There was a brief silence, the air between the three of you charged with unspoken words. Joel, standing protectively in the doorway, hadn’t moved an inch, his presence a wall between you and Paul. He may not have known everything that transpired during his absence, but it was clear he didn’t like the familiarity in the way Paul looked at you.

Finally, Paul cleared his throat, sensing he wasn’t welcome to linger any longer. “Well, if you need anything—medically, I mean—don’t hesitate to let me know,” he said, his tone polite but distant now.

Joel gave a slow nod, stepping forward just enough to send the message loud and clear. “We won’t,” he said, his voice low and firm.

Paul hesitated for a brief second before nodding in return. “Alright then,” he said, his eyes flicking to you one last time before turning and walking away, his figure retreating down the path that led back into town.

The door clicked shut as Joel closed it behind him, his broad shoulders tense. He turned back to you, his eyes searching your face for an explanation, though he didn’t say anything at first. The silence hung between you for a moment, thick with unspoken questions.

You sighed, shifting Rosie in the sling as you glanced at Joel. “We used to get along” you said quietly, though you knew that wasn’t nearly the whole story. “He’s just been… around.”

Joel’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t press further, at least not now. He ran a hand through his hair, clearly still working through the emotions that Paul’s presence had stirred in him. “Yeah,” he muttered under his breath, more to himself than to you. “Seems like it.”

But Joel didn’t push the subject. Instead, he looked at you—really looked at you—and softened. “You okay?” he asked, his voice gentler now, his protective instincts kicking in.

You nodded, offering him a small smile. “I’m fine, Joel,” you reassured him. “I’ve got everything I need right here.”

Joel’s expression softened at your words, and without another word, he stepped closer, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you into his chest, Rosie nestled between you. Whatever tension Paul had stirred, it was fading in the warmth of Joel’s embrace.

“Yeah,” he murmured, his voice a quiet promise. “So do I.”

Joel pressed a kiss to the top of your head before pulling away, his eyes searching yours as if making sure you were really okay. “I’ll go find Ellie,” he said softly. “We’ll catch up later.”

You nodded, appreciating the space he was giving you to process everything. “Okay. See you later.”

He gave you one last look, his eyes full of unspoken promises, and then he left the house, heading toward town. With Rosie still nestled against your chest, you decided it was time to get moving too. There was work to be done, and you needed to meet Maria.

As you stepped outside into the cool morning air, the town of Jackson bustled quietly around you. It was early, but people were already up, tending to chores, patrolling the perimeter, and preparing for the day. The sense of community here was something that still amazed you. After all the chaos of the world outside, this felt almost like a slice of peace.

You made your way toward the main square, where you knew Maria and Tommy were likely to be. As you walked, you spotted Maria near the stables, talking with a couple of people from the patrol team. Tommy was beside her, nodding along, his expression serious. It looked like they were discussing something important.

You approached them quietly, not wanting to interrupt. Maria glanced up first, her eyes softening when she saw you approaching with Rosie. “Hey,” she called out with a warm smile. “How are my two favorite girls?”

You smiled back, though it didn’t quite reach your eyes. “We’re good,” you replied, adjusting Rosie in the sling. “Joel just left to find Ellie.”

Maria’s smile faltered for a brief second as she exchanged a glance with Tommy, who cleared his throat and stepped forward.

“Actually, I was just about to head over and talk to Joel,” Tommy said, his tone thoughtful. He rubbed the back of his neck, clearly weighing something in his mind.

“About what?” you asked, your curiosity piqued.

Tommy hesitated, looking at Maria as if seeking confirmation. She gave him a small nod, and he turned back to you. “We’ve been talking about bringing him more into the fold here,” Tommy said, his voice cautious but sincere. “My brother’s a survivor, a leader, he’s got experience we could use. We were going to see if he’d be interested in helping out with the patrols.”

You blinked, processing what Tommy was saying. You hadn’t had much time to think about what Joel’s place in the community would be now that he was back. He’d barely had time to settle in, but you knew him—knew that staying idle wasn’t something he could do for long. He needed purpose, especially after everything that had happened with Ellie.

You blinked, trying to absorb Tommy’s words. Joel had only just returned, and the idea of him immediately taking on more responsibilities—especially something as dangerous as patrols—made your chest tighten with worry. But deep down, you knew Tommy was right. Joel was never the type to sit on the sidelines. He needed a purpose, something to focus on, especially after all he’d been through with Ellie.

Still, it didn’t stop the flicker of unease that crept up your spine. After months apart, the thought of him being out there again, facing potential danger, was difficult to process.

“Patrols?” you asked, your voice cautious. “Isn’t that a bit… soon?”

Tommy looked down for a second, nodding as though he understood your concern. “Yeah, it is soon,” he admitted. “But Joel’s always been a natural leader. He knows how to handle himself, and frankly, we need people like him. Things have been good here, but we can’t get complacent.”

Maria, standing beside Tommy, placed a comforting hand on his arm before turning her gaze to you. “We wouldn’t throw him into anything too heavy right away,” she reassured. “He could start small—short patrols, nothing far from Jackson. But Tommy’s right. Joel’s experience could really help. Plus…” She trailed off, her eyes softening. “It might be good for him. To feel like he’s contributing again.”

You swallowed hard, glancing down at Rosie in your arms. She was still sleeping peacefully, oblivious to the adult worries surrounding her. You wanted nothing more than to protect this little bubble of safety you’d found—Joel’s return, Rosie’s birth, the stability of Jackson. But you also knew Joel, knew he wasn’t the type of man to sit back and let others take risks for him. He’d need to be out there, to feel useful again.

“I understand,” you said quietly, glancing back at Maria and Tommy. “It’s just… after everything, I worry.”

Tommy’s expression softened, and he took a step closer. “I get it. Believe me, I do. He’s my brother. I don’t want him out there if he’s not ready either. But I also know Joel. He’s got that look in his eyes again, like he’s ready to do something. We’ll ease him into it. I promise.”

Maria nodded in agreement. “We’ll keep him close at first. Small tasks. He’s got a family now, and we know that changes things. We’re not going to put him in unnecessary danger.”

You let out a slow breath, nodding. You trusted Maria and Tommy, but it was still hard to think about Joel going back out there, even in a limited capacity.

“I’ll talk to him,” you finally said, your voice steady but laced with emotion. “See how he feels about it.”

Tommy smiled, relieved that you were open to the idea. “Thanks. That’s all we ask. Just see how he’s doing. We won’t rush him into anything.”

“Yeah, and we’ll make sure he’s not doing too much too fast,” Maria added. “We want him here with you and Rosie.”

Her words helped ease the knot of anxiety that had formed in your chest. You knew they meant well, and they were right—Joel would need to find his place in the community sooner or later. He wasn’t the type to stay idle, and if this was a way for him to regain some sense of normalcy, then maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing.

“Okay,” you said, offering them both a small smile. “I’ll talk to him when he gets back.”

Maria reached out and gave your arm a reassuring squeeze. “Thank you. We’re all in this together. And whatever happens, you’ve got our support.”

Tommy nodded, giving you a grateful smile before glancing off toward the direction Joel had gone. “I’ll head out soon and find him, have a quick chat.”

Maria gave you a warm smile, her eyes brightening a little as she mentioned the event. “Oh, and remember—we’ve got that little spring party tonight.” She glanced at Rosie and then back at you, a playful glint in her eyes. “It’s just a small gathering, but it might be a nice chance to get out for a bit. You and Joel could use some time to unwind, you know?”

You felt a small smile tug at your lips, though part of you felt unsure. A party, even a small one, seemed like such a foreign idea after everything that had happened. Still, it might be good for both of you—especially Joel—to spend some time around the community, easing back into this new life.

“I don’t know,” you admitted, glancing down at Rosie, who was still peacefully asleep. “We’ll see how Rosie does today. I don’t want to push her too much.”

Maria nodded, completely understanding. “Of course. No pressure. But if you can make it, even for a little while, it might be good for you two. There’ll be food, music—something light to take our minds off things for a bit.” She smiled gently, knowing how much everyone could use a distraction in these times.

You nodded, appreciating her thoughtfulness. “I’ll talk to Joel about it,” you said. “Maybe we’ll stop by for a little while.”

Maria gave you a quick nod. “That’s all we ask. It’s more about getting everyone together and sharing some moments, you know?” She gave a quick wave, then turned and headed back toward the stables.

As you returned to the house, the thought of the spring party lingered in your mind. It had been so long since you’d even thought about anything remotely festive, and a part of you longed for that sense of normalcy, even if just for a few hours. Maybe it was exactly what you and Joel needed—a chance to reconnect, to feel like a part of this world again, rather than just surviving day to day.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm golden glow over Jackson, you and Joel bundled Rosie in her little blanket and made your way to the spring party. The sounds of laughter and music began to fill the air as you approached, and the sight of string lights flickering overhead created a cozy, inviting atmosphere.

Ellie was already there, bouncing on her toes with excitement as she spotted you. “You made it!” she exclaimed, her face lighting up with joy. She rushed over, throwing her arms around you. “I was starting to think you wouldn’t come!”

“Yeah, well, we thought we’d stop by for a bit,” you replied, a smile breaking across your face. “How’s the party so far?”

“It’s awesome! They have all kinds of food, and they set up games over there!” Ellie pointed enthusiastically to a group of kids gathered around a makeshift ring toss. “Come on! You have to try it!”

Joel shifted beside you, looking a little uncertain as he surveyed the crowd. You could see the tension in his shoulders, the way he glanced around as if trying to find a safe spot. It was understandable; he’d been out of this world for so long, and while Jackson had been a haven for you, it was still new territory for him.

You squeezed his hand gently, your fingers intertwining with his as you leaned in closer. “It’s okay,” you whispered softly, catching his eye. “Just take it one step at a time. We’re in this together.”

He looked down at you, his expression softening as a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips. “Yeah, okay,” he replied, his voice steadying as he gave your hand a reassuring squeeze in return. The warmth of his touch grounded you, reminding you that despite the chaos of the world outside, you had each other.

As you moved further into the party, the inviting scents of grilled meat and baked goods filled the air, and the lively chatter began to wash over you like a warm wave. People were mingling, laughter echoed around, and for a moment, it felt like life could be normal again.

Ellie dashed off to join Dina, and you and Joel found a spot near the food table. A couple of the neighbors waved at you, smiles on their faces, and you waved back, feeling the warmth of community wash over you.

“See? Not so bad,” you said, nudging Joel gently.

He nodded slowly, but you could still see the wariness in his eyes. “Just… takes some getting used to,” he admitted, his gaze flickering over the crowd.

“Want something to eat?” you asked, trying to keep the mood light. “They have a ton of options, and I think I saw some pie over there.”

Joel chuckled softly, shaking his head. “You and your sweet tooth,” he teased, and that made you smile wider. “You sure you want me to go get it?”

“Why not?” you replied playfully, nudging him again. “It’ll give you a chance to stretch your legs. And I could use some pie—just to fuel me for the games later!”

He let out a small laugh and finally relented, giving you a nod. “Alright, I’ll grab something. Just stay close, okay?”

“Always,” you said, watching him head toward the food table. As he walked away, you felt a swell of affection for him. Despite the uncertainty, he was making the effort, and that meant the world to you.

You moved over to a nearby group of friends who were chatting and laughing, trying to embrace the festive atmosphere. You exchanged pleasantries, laughter bubbling up as stories were shared, and for a brief moment, you allowed yourself to forget about the outside world.

A few minutes later, Joel returned with a plate of food in one hand and a slice of pie in the other. He had a small smile on his face, and you felt a rush of happiness at the sight. He’d found a little comfort in this gathering, and that made everything worth it.

“Got your pie,” he said, handing it to you with a flourish, and you beamed up at him.

“Thank you, sir!” you replied playfully, taking the plate from him. You took a bite, letting the sweetness fill your mouth, and couldn’t help but moan a little at the deliciousness.

Joel chuckled, shaking his head at your exaggerated response. “You really do love that stuff,” he teased, his eyes sparkling with warmth.

You leaned closer, your heart full as you whispered, “You love me for it.”

He smiled, that genuine smile that reached his eyes. “Yeah, I reckon I do.”

As you savored the slice of pie, Maria and Tommy approached, their faces glowing with the warmth of the gathering.

“Hey there!” Maria called out, waving as she made her way over. “Looks like you two are having a good time!”

“Just indulging in some pie,” you replied, grinning. “Can’t resist a good dessert.”

Tommy chuckled, glancing over at Joel. “Looks like you’re fitting in pretty well, brother,” he said, giving Joel a playful nudge.

Joel shrugged, but the small smile on his face gave him away. “Tryin’,” he replied, looking around the festive scene.

Maria’s eyes sparkled as she looked at Ellie, who was bouncing on her toes. “Are you ready to play some games, Ellie? I think they set up a scavenger hunt over there.”

Ellie’s eyes widened with excitement. “Yes! Come on, let’s go!” Without waiting for a response, she dashed off toward the games, clearly eager to participate.

“Hey, wait up!” you called after her, laughing as you turned to Joel. “I guess we’re off to the races!”

“Go on,” Joel said, his voice a mix of encouragement and amusement. “I’ll keep an eye on Rosie. You go have fun.”

“Are you sure?” you asked, glancing down at Rosie, who was nestled peacefully in the blanket.

“Yeah, I got this,” he assured you, his tone firm yet gentle. “You enjoy yourself. I’ll be right here.”

You felt a flutter of gratitude and affection in your chest. “Okay, I’ll be back in a bit,” you promised, leaning down to place a soft kiss on Rosie’s head before you turned to join Ellie, Maria, and Tommy.

As you made your way toward the games, you could hear laughter and cheers ringing out, the atmosphere buzzing with energy. The kids had gathered around a makeshift obstacle course set up with old tires, rope swings, and a small climbing wall, and Ellie was at the front, explaining the rules with fervor.

“Okay, everyone! You have to complete the course and grab a prize at the end!” she shouted, her enthusiasm infectious.

You joined the group, cheering on the kids as they took turns navigating the course. The competitive spirit ignited, and soon you found yourself swept up in the fun, encouraging everyone to give it their best shot.

As you laughed and cheered with the kids, completely absorbed in the games, Joel’s mood began to shift. From the corner of his eye, he noticed Paul standing with a group of friends, but what caught his attention was the way Paul kept glancing in your direction, a subtle smile on his face.

Joel's jaw tightened, and the familiar surge of protective instinct kicked in. His mind raced, and those nagging voices from his past began to creep in, planting seeds of doubt and jealousy. He couldn't shake the feeling, even though he knew better. He turned toward Tommy, his voice low and edged with frustration.

“That guy, Paul,” Joel muttered, not bothering to mask the irritation in his tone. “What’s the deal with him? Why is he looking at my woman like that? Something happen between them or what?”

Tommy’s eyes widened in surprise at Joel’s bluntness, and Maria, who was standing beside them, gave Joel a look of disbelief. “Joel,” Maria said slowly, her voice firm but calm, “you’re overthinking things.”

Tommy raised his eyebrows, clearly taken aback by Joel’s sudden shift in attitude. “What the hell, man?” he asked, keeping his voice down so others wouldn’t hear. “Do you think she was enjoying your absence when you were gone?”

Joel clenched his fists at his sides, his gaze flicking back toward Paul, who was still casually chatting with his friends, seemingly unaware of the storm brewing in Joel’s mind. “Then why’s he smilin’ at her like that?” Joel pressed, his voice laced with a mix of jealousy and insecurity he hadn’t felt in a long time.

“Joel,” Tommy said, a hint of frustration creeping into his voice, “you need to chill. Paul is just friendly. He’s trying to make everyone feel welcome here.”

Maria stepped in, trying to defuse the situation. “Listen, Joel, you’re back now. That’s what matters. You have to trust her.

Joel's jaw tightened, “I trust her, not him”. the protective instinct surging within him. He couldn’t help but think about the time he’d spent away from you, the emptiness that had consumed him during those months. The thought of someone else trying to fill that void made his stomach churn. “I just don’t like how he’s looking at her,” Joel muttered, the frustration evident in his voice.

“You were just implying she had something with him when you were gone” Tommy recalled, clearly mad at his brother.

You approached the table, your heart sinking as you overheard the tension in their conversation. The mention of Paul sent a jolt of unease through you, and you felt your stomach twist. Joel's protectiveness, while understandable, was beginning to feel suffocating.

“Are you really implying that I had something with him?” you interjected, your voice steady but laced with disbelief. The three of them turned to you, surprise evident on their faces. Joel’s expression shifted from irritation to concern, his eyes widening at the realization of how his words had come across.

“No, I—” Joel started, but you raised a hand to stop him, your gaze firmly fixed on him.

“I heard it” You took a deep breath, trying to remain calm.

You reached out and gently took Rosie from Joel's arms, cradling her against you as if she were a shield from the growing tension. The moment your daughter nestled against you, her small weight grounding you, you felt a surge of emotion.

“Look, Joel,” you said, your voice a mix of frustration and hurt, “I know you’re protective. I get that. But you’re making this harder than it needs to be.” You glanced down at Rosie, brushing your thumb against her tiny cheek. “I can’t have you doubting me or our family because of some guy who-“

“Who what?” he pleaded, urging to you to say something.  

“I’m going home” you said.

The words hung in the air between you, sharp and sudden. You could see the flicker of surprise in Joel's eyes, his mouth opening slightly as if he were about to protest, to argue, but you raised a hand to stop him.

“Don’t,” you said, your voice steady but trembling with the weight of your emotions. “Just… don’t.”

His jaw clenched as he watched you, the realization of what you meant beginning to sink in. “You’re seriously gonna walk out on me over this?” he asked, disbelief coloring his tone.

“I’m not walking out on you, Joel,” you replied, your heart racing. “I’m walking away from this moment. I need some air. I need to think.”

“Think about what? About me? About us?” His voice was low, laced with urgency, but there was a desperation in his eyes that made your heart ache. “You can’t just leave like this.”

“I can, and I will,” you said, your voice firm despite the tears that threatened to spill over. “I don’t want to fight, especially not in front of Rosie. It’s not fair to her or to us.”

He took a step closer, his expression shifting from disbelief to concern. “You know I didn’t mean it like that,” he said softly, his tone pleading now.

I hear what Tommy said, and if you thought that low of me...My baby needs to rest, goodbye" you say to maria and tommy and glance at joel for the last time before leaving.

With a heavy heart, you turned away, clutching Rosie closer to your chest as you made your way toward the exit. Each step felt like a weight pressing down on you, but you couldn’t stay in the atmosphere filled with unspoken words and tension.

As you walked past Maria and Tommy, you managed a tight smile, trying to keep it together for the sake of your daughter. “Take care of him,” you said quietly, your voice barely above a whisper. You could feel their worried gazes on your back as you continued onward.

“Wait!” Joel called out, but you didn’t turn around. You could hear the urgency in his voice, the underlying desperation, but you needed this space to breathe, to process everything that had just happened.

The cool air hit your face as you stepped outside, the sounds of laughter and festivities fading into the background. You walked a short distance away, finding a quiet spot where you could gather your thoughts without the weight of Joel’s piercing gaze on you.

Once you were alone, you let out a shaky breath, feeling the tears finally spill over as you sank down onto a nearby bench. Rosie stirred in your arms, and you gently rocked her, humming softly to soothe her. She was your anchor in this chaotic world, a reminder of the love that had once felt so solid between you and Joel.

“Why does it have to be so hard?” you murmured to Rosie, wiping the tears away with the back of your hand. “I just want us to be happy.”

"You're just made to be a lover" tommy spoke to Joel.

The moment Tommy’s words reached Joel’s ears, they hung in the air, echoing with a weight that only added to his frustration. “What do you mean by that?” Joel snapped, turning to his brother, his eyes narrowing in irritation.

Tommy raised his hands in a placating gesture, his expression a mix of sympathy and understanding. “I mean, look at you. You care so much about her. You always have. But sometimes, it seems like you’re letting your fears get in the way of that love.”

Joel’s jaw clenched as he ran a hand through his hair, clearly wrestling with the truth in Tommy’s words. “You think I don’t love her?” he shot back, though the defensiveness in his voice felt more like a shield against his own vulnerability.

Tommy took a step closer, lowering his voice to a calmer tone. “No, I’m saying you love her too much to let your insecurities ruin it. She’s been through a lot. She spent the last time of the pregnancy alone; she gave birth alone and you came here and implied that of her?”

“I didn’t.” Joel defended himself.

“You did, Joel,” Tommy said, frustration creeping into his voice. “You made it sound like she might’ve been unfaithful while you were gone. That’s not fair to her, especially after everything she’s been through.”

Joel’s face fell, the weight of Tommy’s words hitting him hard. “I didn’t mean it like that,” he said, his voice low and shaky. “I just… I can’t help but feel like I missed so much. I’m scared of losing her to someone else. I’ve already lost so much.”

“I get that,” Tommy replied, his tone softening. “But the way you said it? That’s not the way to show her you care. She needs you to be her rock, not a source of doubt.”

Joel clenched his fists, battling the feelings of guilt and fear that churned inside him. “I’m trying, man. It’s just hard. I spent so long thinking about her, and now I see this guy looking at her, and I can’t help but feel…”

“Jealous?” Tommy interjected. “Protective? Whatever it is, you’ve got to channel that into something positive. You don’t want to drive her away now that you’re reunited.”

“Go and talk to her before I broke your nose” maria interfered.

Joel turned to Maria, surprise flickering in his eyes. He could see the concern etched on her face, and it reminded him of just how much he had to lose if he didn’t get this right.

“Maria, I—” he started, but she shook her head, cutting him off.

“No more excuses, Joel,” she said firmly. “You need to go to her now. Don’t let your fears ruin what you’ve fought so hard to get back. Go!”

With her encouraging shove, Joel felt a surge of urgency wash over him. He glanced at Tommy, who nodded in silent support, and then turned to make his way through the gathering crowd, his heart pounding in his chest.

He arrived at home and scanned the living room for you, his eyes darting between the furniture and spotted you, sitting on the sofa with Rosie in your arms. The sight of you made his heart ache, how beautiful you looked, but how pained your expression seemed as you cradled their daughter.

Taking a deep breath, he approached, and as he got closer, he could see the small frown on your face. It felt like a kick to the gut. “Hey,” he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

You looked up, with a guarded expression. “Joel,” you replied, your tone cool but not entirely dismissive.

“I, uh… I wanted to talk,” he said, his hands instinctively moving to his hips as he tried to figure out how to say what was in his heart. “About what I said earlier.”

You glanced down at Rosie, who had just started to stir, and then back up at him, your expression a mixture of hurt and uncertainty. “What’s there to say?” you asked, your voice steady but laced with emotion.

He took a deep breath, stepping closer but maintaining a respectful distance. “I’m sorry for what I said earlier. I let my jealousy get the best of me.” He glanced down, his brow furrowing. “I shouldn’t have implied that you were unfaithful.”

Your heart ached at the sincerity in his voice, but the hurt still lingered. “You know how hard it was for me, right? I felt so alone while you were gone. I just wanted to believe everything would be okay when you returned.”

“I get that,” Joel replied, his gaze earnest as he stepped closer. “But it doesn’t excuse my behavior. You were strong while I was away.”

Your breath caught as you prepared to open up, knowing the conversation was far from over. “Joel, while you were gone… things were hard, really hard,” you began, glancing down at Rosie in your arms. The memories of those lonely nights came rushing back, and it took everything in you to keep your voice steady. “Paul… he tried to twist things, make me believe I couldn’t do this on my own. That being a mother, without you, was too much for me.”

Joel’s face tightened, his fists balling at his sides as he absorbed your words. “What are you saying?” His voice was strained, his eyes searching yours for an explanation.

“He never said anything outright, but he was always there, trying to plant seeds of doubt,” you continued, looking down at Rosie as you spoke. “He made it seem like you weren’t coming back, that you couldn’t. He’d say things like, ‘You’re strong, but no one can do this alone,’ or that maybe you’d forgotten about us out there.”

Joel’s expression darkened, the anger simmering beneath the surface, though you could tell he was fighting to keep himself in check. “He said that?”

You nodded. “It was subtle, but it was enough to make me question myself. I think part of me confused the help he was giving with something more. Like maybe, for a second, I thought he was being a friend.” You took a deep breath, forcing yourself to keep going. “But that wasn’t real. I was vulnerable, and he knew it. I was just trying to survive without you, to raise Rosie, to keep going. But I never wanted him, Joel.”

Joel’s shoulders slumped; the tension still present but mixed now with sorrow. He ran a hand over his face, clearly trying to process everything. “So, he tried to make you believe I wasn’t coming back,” he muttered, shaking his head in disbelief. “I hate that he did that. But I hate even more that you had to go through that alone.”

You sighed, feeling the weight of those lonely months lift just a little, now that the truth was out in the open. “I didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t want to make it worse or seem like I was giving up on you. But it’s why I reacted the way I did tonight. When you questioned me like that… it brought back all those fears.”

You stood up, your heart still heavy but feeling lighter than it had in days. As you carefully laid Rosie down in her crib, her tiny chest rising and falling peacefully, you felt a moment of calm settle over you. The room was quiet, but you could feel Joel’s gaze on you, filled with regret and turmoil.

You turned back to him, hoping that this moment of truth between you had brought you closer. But as you met his eyes, you could see the storm of emotions still brewing within him. He ran a hand through his hair, frustration evident in the tense lines of his body.

Before you could say anything, Joel abruptly turned and walked toward the door.

“Joel?” you called softly, your voice uncertain.

But he didn’t stop. He reached for the doorknob and stepped outside without a word. You hurried after him, calling his name a little louder this time. “Joel, wait!”

By the time you reached the door, he was already halfway down the path, heading back toward the party. You stood at the threshold, the cool night air brushing against your skin, watching as he disappeared into the distance.

Joel marched back toward the party, his footsteps heavy with frustration and unresolved tension. The festive atmosphere was still buzzing with laughter and music, a stark contrast to the storm swirling in his mind. He pushed through the crowd, his eyes scanning for Paul. There was an urgency in his stride, a need to confront the gnawing feeling that had been eating away at him.

When he finally spotted Paul, standing near a group of people by the makeshift bar, Joel’s jaw clenched. The doctor was casually sipping from a glass, laughing at something someone had said, unaware of the brewing confrontation.

Joel approached him, his body tense, his eyes locked onto Paul. As he drew near, the noise of the party seemed to fade into the background, his focus narrowing entirely on this one man. Paul looked up, his smile faltering slightly when he noticed Joel’s intense expression.

“Hey, Joel,” Paul greeted him, his tone friendly but cautious. “Didn’t expect to see you back so soon.”

Joel didn’t waste any time. “We need to talk,” he said, his voice low and steady, but there was a dangerous edge to it. The kind that made everyone around them take a step back, sensing the tension.

Paul raised an eyebrow, clearly confused but trying to keep things light. “About what?”

Joel took a step closer, his gaze unwavering. “About what you said to her. About the things you’ve been puttin’ in her head.”

Paul blinked, his confusion deepening. “What are you talking about? I’ve only ever tried to help—”

“Help?” Joel cut him off, his voice growing sharper. “You think telling her she couldn’t do it on her own, that she needed someone else—needed you—is helpin’?”

Paul’s expression shifted, the easygoing smile he usually wore fading into something more serious. “Joel, I didn’t mean it like that. I was just trying to offer support. She was struggling, and I—”

“I don’t need you explainin’ what she needed,” Joel interrupted again, his anger simmering just beneath the surface. “You don’t get to decide what’s best for her. She’s stronger than you give her credit for you don’t know what she’s capable of.”

Paul held up his hands in a placating gesture, clearly trying to defuse the situation. “Look, I was just trying to be there for her. You weren’t around, and she—”

“And that’s what I’m here for now,” Joel growled, stepping even closer until he was right in Paul’s face. “I don’t care what you thought you were doin’. Stay away from her from my girl.”

“She is your girl, but you abandoned when she was pregnant?” Paul chuckled.

“I didn’t.” Joel replied.

“Oh, come on man, I even know your daughter better than you do”

Joel’s fists clenched tighter, his entire body going rigid at Paul’s words. The implication that Paul knew his own daughter better than he did cut deeper than he’d expected. His breath came out in harsh, shallow bursts as he stepped even closer to Paul, their faces inches apart.

“You don’t know anything about me or my family,” Joel growled, his voice dangerously low. “Don’t act like you were doin’ me a favor. You think you stepped up? You think you know her? You don’t know what we’ve been through.”

Paul didn’t back down, though his face remained calm. “I was there when you weren’t, Joel. She needed someone, and I was the one who made sure she didn’t go through it alone. I’m not trying to make this harder for you, but you have to accept that things changed while you were gone. She changed. She had to.”

Joel’s chest tightened, the guilt he had been fighting against all night rising to the surface. He knew Paul wasn’t entirely wrong—he had been gone, and she had faced some of the hardest moments of her life without him. But the thought of someone else filling that space, being there when he couldn’t, made his blood boil.

“You don’t get to play that card,” Joel bit out, his voice trembling with barely contained fury. “You think just because you were there for a few months, that makes you more important to her than I am? I’ve known her longer than you ever will. And Rosie? She’s my daughter.”

Paul’s calm demeanor shifted slightly, a smirk playing on his lips as he crossed his arms. “You know, Joel,” he said, his tone infuriatingly smug, “maybe she deserves someone who was actually there for her. Someone who can protect her and Rosie. A real man.”

Joel’s breath hitched, his pulse pounding in his ears. Those words—a real man—echoed in his mind like a trigger, striking at every fear and insecurity he had buried deep down. His hands shook with the effort it took not to lash out right then and there.

“Watch your mouth,” Joel growled, his voice dangerously low, his fists twitching at his sides. He could feel the rage simmering just beneath the surface, threatening to boil over. “You don’t get to talk about what she deserves.”

Paul didn’t flinch. If anything, he seemed to grow more confident, feeding off Joel’s rising anger. “But I am talking about it. Because I care about her, Joel. I care about Rosie. Maybe more than you do. You think she needs someone like you, someone who’s always running off, disappearing? Maybe she needs stability. Someone who’s here. A real family.”

Joel’s vision tunneled, the sound of blood rushing in his ears. He took a threatening step forward, his voice barely above a whisper but filled with venom. “I swear to God, Paul. You don’t know what the hell you’re talkin’ about. I was gone because I had to be. To keep her safe. To keep them safe. You’re not part of that. You never will be.”

Paul took a deep breath, stepping closer as if testing Joel’s limits. “Maybe that’s what she’s thinking too. Maybe that’s why she hasn’t said anything to stop me. Maybe she’s realized what a real man looks like.”

Joel snapped.

In one swift movement, he grabbed Paul by the collar, pulling him close. The crowd around them gasped, the festive atmosphere suddenly charged with tension. Joel’s face was inches from Paul’s, his voice a low, menacing growl. “You don’t get to talk about her like that. Ever.”

For a brief moment, it felt like the world held its breath. Paul’s smirk faltered, and for the first time, a flicker of uncertainty crossed his face.

Before Joel could take things further, Tommy’s voice cut through the tension like a knife. “Joel! Stop!”

Tommy rushed forward, putting a hand on Joel’s arm and pulling him back, but not without effort. “This ain’t the way, man. Not here. Not like this.”

Joel released his grip on Paul, pushing him back roughly. His chest heaved with the effort to contain his rage; his fists still clenched. He glared at Paul for a long moment, every muscle in his body tense.

Paul straightened his shirt, trying to regain some of his composure, but the smugness was gone, replaced by something else—caution.

“Stay away from my family,” Joel warned, his voice ice-cold. “Or next time, we won’t be talkin’.”

With that, he turned and stormed off, leaving the party behind him, his mind a whirlwind of anger, guilt, and frustration. He had to get away—away from Paul, away from the eyes of the crowd, and away from the fear that maybe, just maybe, Paul had hit a nerve that Joel wasn’t ready to confront.

Tommy caught up to Joel, grabbing him by the arm and steering him toward the house. Joel’s anger was still palpable, his body tense as they walked, the night air doing little to cool his heated emotions.

When they finally reached the door, Tommy let out a sigh, glancing at Joel, who looked like he was ready to explode again at any moment. “Look, I know you’re pissed. But you can’t keep letting this stuff get to you,” Tommy said, his voice firm but compassionate. “Paul ain’t worth it. And neither is risking your family over some nonsense he’s spewing.”

Joel didn’t respond, his jaw tight as he reached for the doorknob. But before he could open it, Tommy stopped him, his tone more serious now. “You need to fix this, Joel. Not just with her, but with yourself. You keep pushing, and you’re gonna lose her. Don’t let that happen.”

Joel glanced at his brother, his expression conflicted, but he nodded slowly, the weight of Tommy’s words sinking in. He pushed open the door, stepping inside.

As they entered, you were sitting in the living room, cradling Rosie as you fed her. The sight of Joel and Tommy walking in together, the tension still hanging in the air, made your eyes widen. You weren’t sure what had happened, but the look on Joel’s face told you that it hadn’t been good.

Tommy shot you an apologetic glance, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “I know you and my brother had a fight,” he said, his voice low and cautious, “but please, control him. He’s about ready to knock someone’s head off.”

Your heart sank as you looked at Joel, seeing the storm of emotions swirling behind his eyes. You sighed softly, shifting Rosie in your arms before standing up. “What happened?” you asked quietly, already dreading the answer.

Joel stood there, looking at you, the regret evident in his posture. “Nothin’ good,” he admitted, his voice rough. “I had a word with Paul. It got heated.”

Tommy let out a heavy sigh. “That’s one way of puttin’ it,” he muttered, shaking his head. “Look, I’ll leave you two to talk. But seriously, you both need to figure this out. I’ll be around if you need me.” With that, he gave you a reassuring nod and stepped out, closing the door behind him.

Now, it was just you, Joel, and the unspoken tension filling the room. Rosie cooed softly in your arms, oblivious to the weight of the moment.

“Joel,” you began softly, your voice careful. “What did he say to you?”

Joel looked at you, his eyes filled with a mix of frustration and vulnerability. “He said things… things that got under my skin. Made me feel like I’ve been failing you, like he’s been fillin’ in for me. And I just… I lost it.”

You bit your lip, the weight of his words sinking in as you studied his face. Despite the frustration and anger still simmering in him, there was a deep vulnerability beneath it all. Without saying a word, you reached out, taking his hand gently. Joel glanced down at your fingers intertwined with his, and you tugged softly, guiding him toward the sofa.

“Come on,” you whispered, leading him to sit down. Joel hesitated for a second but followed your lead, sinking into the cushions. You could feel his tension, the lingering heat from his encounter with Paul still coursing through him.

Once he was seated, you moved closer, surprising him as you sat down on his lap, your legs on either side of him. You wrapped one arm around his shoulders, your other hand brushing softly through his hair as you settled in. His arms instinctively came up to hold you, though his grip was tentative, as if he were afraid of losing control again.

You leaned in close, your forehead resting gently against his as you spoke softly, “Joel, I need you to hear me. I know you’re angry, and I know you’re hurting, but you don’t have to carry that all by yourself. You’re back and I’m still here. Rosie’s here. Ellie’s here. We’re not going anywhere.”

He looked up at you, his brow furrowed, eyes searching yours for reassurance. “I’m tryin’, but every time I think about what you went through while I wasn’t here…” He trailed off, his voice breaking slightly as the guilt washed over him.

You cupped his face with both hands, forcing him to look directly at you. “You didn’t fail me, Joel. I made it through because I had to—for Rosie, for us. And I’m still here because I want to be with you. But you have to stop letting those fears control you. Paul doesn’t matter. You do. This family does.”

He sighed, his hands tightening slightly around your waist, his body starting to relax just a little under your touch. “I hate feelin’ like I’m not enough. That someone else could step in and—”

“Nobody’s stepping in, Joel,” you interrupted firmly, your voice soft but insistent.  “Nodoby could replace you.”

He leaned his head back against the sofa, his eyes closing as he took a deep breath, as if your words were the first bit of air he’d gotten in hours. You stroked his cheek, your thumb tracing the line of his jaw, trying to soothe the storm within him.

“You have to let this go,” you whispered, leaning in closer, your lips just inches from his. “We’re here. We’re together. And nothing—no one—is going to change that.”

Joel opened his eyes, his gaze locking onto yours, a mixture of relief and lingering vulnerability flashing through them. He reached up, his hand gently brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, his touch soft and reverent. “I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he murmured, his voice low and full of emotion.

“You won’t have to find out,” you replied softly, leaning down to press your lips gently against his. The kiss was tender, full of the love and reassurance that words alone couldn’t convey.

As you pulled back slightly, your fingers traced the side of his face, your voice barely above a whisper. “Joel, he will never have the way you have me.” You said, kissing his mouth, hands hiking up his shirt. His hand moved up your back, pulling you closer as if he needed the reassurance that you were right there with him.

The kiss deepened, slow and deliberate, like he was savoring every moment. You could feel the tension in him slowly dissolving, replaced by something warmer, more certain. His fingers brushed through your hair, his other hand resting gently on your waist, holding you steady as the kiss grew more intense.

“I want you” you whispered against his mouth, then down his jawline, neck collarbone as his hands squeezed your waist as an answer.

“Please, have me” he replied, his voice hoarsed in a whimper.

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Loved it. Needed it. I need a nap now and maybe to call off of work because WOW I'm gonna be thinking about him for the rest of the night

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Pairing: dbf!werewolf!Joel Miller x fem!afab!reader

wc: 7.5k

Rating: 18+

A/n: It felt fitting now that October has started

Summary: You are a young journalist standing on her last leg, being given an ultimatum to finally cement your career or lose your job entirely. In a desperate attempt to salvage your fraying career, you look into the small town of Jackson and the cryptic folklore orbiting around it. A friend of your fathers is kind enough to provide you shelter for your stay, though you soon discovered the very thing you sought after was right underneath your nose.

Content Warnings: 18+ MDNI werewolf!Joel, dubcon, knotting, breeding kink, age gap relationship, obsessive attachment, pure nasty dom!Joel, unprotected piv, cream pie, squirting, mating press, mentions of the cervix and womb bc we crazy in here

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Thud

Your surroundings jolt, clanking as you hit another pothole, the impact wrenching another weary sigh out of you. A harsh drift grazes your face, like a dead, cruel lovers touch, as the piercing cold air from the outside, whistles through your cracked car window. It’s patched, haphazardly with tape— though your small silvery Prius has certainly seen better days, much like yourself.

It’s still dark outside, the silvery beams of the moon making the polish of your car shine, as well as casting a guiding light on the poorly patched road before you.

Your thoughts are pulled back to your current predicament.

When you started out as a journalist, it felt like the company wanted run a test on you: How fast can we crush a small-town girl's dream?

The results: Way too fast.

Running around serving coffee, when your fingers twitched for a keyboard. Getting copies, providing unpaid eye candy to all the elderly men, who definitely shouldn’t be writing news for the general public, when your ears yearned for the click of a camera. The blinding harsh light of a flash. Anything like what you dreamt of prior. Not this— the leering gazes of men twice your age, the burnt fingers from the sputtering coffee machine.

Soon it came to a head, and you instigated— against your boss’ firm instructions— an investigation of your own. Disguising the article as one written by, some made up guy, and boom. Your article turned out to be the most compelling writing, any of these big city folks have laid their eyes on in a long time, it was a hit.

Of course, it soon came out who the mystery genius had been, as your boss raked in the revenue, wanting to meet this mystery talent to bleed it dry for all it was worth.

Despite the numbers it made you had prepared yourself for the harsh cruel coldness, that would be your reality: getting fired, only to be left severely stunted when your boss almost begged you to write more.

Following that, you’ve had a few smaller, but not less popular, hit headlines. Always the front Page, always earning a good amount of Feedback. Soon though the fact that you were not earning an official journalists wage, on an official journalist work pile, weight on you. Quickly leading you into a burnout, making you halt your continued work.

The stopping cash flow, made your boss present you with an ultimatum, another big hitter to become an official Journalist or be thrown out, completely.

Nights you planned the forsaken man's murder, cursing him for making your dream job into a nightmare.

In your mental and physical distress, you did not know who else to turn to, leaving you pleading and sobbing as you called your father, hoping he’d have an inkling on how you could proceed.

Leading you to right where you are now, the worn cushion of your trusty cars seat beneath you. A steady grip on the wheel, as the farm land scenery drifted by you. On your way to the small village known as Jackson based in Mississippi, with its lengthy history of cryptid sightings, attacks and disappearances galore.

At first you wanted to question your father, taking the suggestion as a cruel joke at your desperations expense.

Though as he told you of his childhood growing up in Jackson, alongside his friend Joel— the sincerity in his voice awoke that glint within you. A burning, itching need to learn more, to find and uncover truths yet to emerge.

The change of scenery was another pro, as it might help you gain a new perspective, as well as grant you a make-shift vacation.

So, you agreed, your father arranging for you to stay with Joel for two weeks, at his small cabin, not too far from the town itself.

You’ve scoured your mind, trying to catch a glimpse of any memory you might have regarding Joel. Only ending up with faded images, and the feeling of a warm, calloused hand clasping on your shoulder. Though you do not remember much of him you’re certain you’ve seen him last when you were in your late teens, with you now going on twenty-two.

Your eyes keep following the steep road, if you can call it that, until a junction appears, one of the paths leading straight forward into the town and the other— right, further into the forest clustered with intimidating pine trees and littered with a badly patched road.

Signaling right, you shot a brief glance behind you, as you turned down the dark, twisted road, taking you deeper into the woods.

Not soon after the sun starts properly rising, just as you pull up into the forefront of the small cabin. It’s rustic, standing on ramshackle wooden columns, raising the structure a bit above the ground with a clambering yet charming exterior.

To the left is a shed, a small threaded path leading up to it, before it a chopping block, axe plunged into its core, making you wonder how the block itself isn’t split like the logs, riddled next to it.

You’re torn from your thoughts when you hear quick heavy steps on the gravel surrounding the right front of the cabin. A gruff tall man, with broad shoulders, a brown mop of hair with greying ends fraying at his nape, donning a white shirt, stretching across his torso with a few spots sticking to his damp skin, comes barreling down the path next to the small shed, a stack of logs underneath his broad, glove clad arms.

“Is that you darlin’?” his voice breaks through the dewy morning air, a puff of white leaving his chapped lips as he, now, stands before you.

“Yeah, Joel it’s me.” is all your able to press out, at a loss for breath, his gruff exterior, and the silver lining both his mane and beard, making your stomach twist in enticing ways.

You don’t remember him being this… attractive.

But then again you don’t remember him much at all, plus you’ve last seen him when you were about sixteen!

“Eh, you’ve arrived in one piece, your pa’ was quite sure you’d stumble into trouble” he sets down the firewood next to the stump, his arms crossing before his broad chest, showing of his tanned dewy forearms.

A frown dawns on your face “What— why’s that?”

Joel raises an eyebrow, his gaze drifting behind you too— your car.

You turn your head, scrunching you nose up.

The boxy vehicle, standing there looked rundown and now that you see it standing on its own surrounded by nature, you’re surprise yourself she’s come this far. The splintering window, the cracked paint job, it was a mess.

“Now now, she’s got me all the way out here didn’t she?” You chuckle back, a teasing grin lifting your lips.

“I didn’t say nothin’ , t’was your daddy that was doubting your car wreck would withstand the road” he raises his arms in mock defense, the fabric shifting over his damp skin.

“What are you doing out here?” You inquire, mirroring his stance, you hip jutting out— his gaze being momentarily drawn to it.

“Wood don’t chop itself doll, the next two weeks you’ll come to realize, just how soft that big city made ya” he teases, his grouchy stoic features shifting into a sly smirk, as his eyes twinkle mischievously

You huff aloud, gazing over his get up, your eyes landing on the hat adorning his head.

“What you gon’ turn me into the hootin’ house wife, I’m meant to be” you mirror his Texan drawl

A rough dry huff, that you suspect is his version of a chuckle, expels from his shapely lips.

“I’m not some hillbilly, you are an independent young woman, making your way into the big leagues. Even a geezer like me can respect that”

A surprised but pleasant smile grazes your face, knowing that you’re not about to spent the weeks with someone you used to perceive as cool who, when you grow up, turns out to be a misogynist asshole.

Raising your hands you motion to his form. “Why don’t we go in! You must be freezing”

“Oh right, got any luggage that need takin care of?” Joel gives you no time to answer, having already taken bold strides towards your car.

“Right in the back”

“Alright sugar, you go on up, your room is up the stairs on the left” he calls back

At his behest you breach the creaky steps up to the cabin, it’s got a nice small veranda, a steaming mug propped atop a small table. Catching a small glimpse of the paper Joel read before you’ve arrived, it’s your first feature.

The one that earned you your place here.

A small warmth creeps into your face, he’s been reading your material.

Shaking your head free of potential embarrassment and something warm in your gut, you continue your journey into the cabin.

Inside it’s strangely spacious, and even stranger: decorated with intent. Though there are a few things like, hunting knives scattered around the dining table, or carved wood and its shavings permeating the carpet clad floor.

A warm flame, crackles within a stone built fireplace near a worn leather couch, clustered with various pillows and furs.

It’s cozy you note, your eyes drifting to the stairs leading up. The wood creaks underneath you as your feet carry you up the creaky steps.

The door on the left, Joel had said. So, as you stand before it you turn the knob.

It’s— cozy, a bit dingy but the bed is freshly made with a variety of blankets and furs at the feet of it. The window is cracked open, the smell of pines and fresh morning dew wafting into the space. A warm salt stone lamp stands on your nightstand with a small wrapped gift.

A gift?

Your feet carry you across the floorboards as you take the item into your palms. The wrapping is warm and soft almost like a fabric, but it’s undoubtedly paper.

“Oh I see you’ve found it” The deep timbre of Joel’s voice comes from the door way

Your gaze meets his own steady eyes

“What is it?” A small smirk carves his features as he makes a hand motion for you to open it

You gently take apart the wrapping finding a small box inside, you shot your host another look, one he respond to with a firm nod.

Your fingers pry open the box, finding a small necklace inside, its strings are made of thin, yet sturdy leather. A charm attached to the string, a wolves head, then it hits you— the necklaces smells of sandalwood.

A soft yet, herby smell drifting up to your nostrils.

“Is that sandalwood?”

“Correct, it’ll keep you save round here. Some of the wildlife despise the smell of it. So make sure to wear it” he says the words carefully, your head nodding along with his explanation as your gaze drifts back and forth from him to the necklace.

“I’m still amazed, by how much you’ve grown” he juts in, his rough gaze taking in your form

A shyness settling into you, as you recall not remembering much of him yourself.

“Yeah, it has been a long while since I’ve been out here too”

“Did you make it?” You mutter, hanging the subject back to the present.

“Yes” Joel confirms, his gaze now on the window

“Thank you, it’s lovely” you immediately swing the jewelry over your head, eyeing it as it falls perfectly into place above your cleavage.

Then Joel shifts, his weight making the floorboards creak.

“Now, here are your things, why don’t you take a bit to settle in. We’ll eat breakfast in a bit and later we’ll go into town so I can do some shopping— it would be a good time for ya to do yer investigatin’”

You can’t hold back the beaming grin lifting the corners of your mouth as you nod with enthusiasm, gaining a small crinkle around his almond colored eyes. Before his form moves out the room, closing the door.

And you’re alone with your thoughts again. A smell sensation of dread builds up within you, the gravity of your stay here, having unchangeable consequences on your future at the Herald, you brain is littered with the thoughts of failing, not making it. All the pressure of making a big hit article for your greedy boss, only to keep him and his sinking boat of sexist losers afloat.

A choked back sob leaves you, the pressure bearing down on you, who only wished for a chance, a little shot at becoming the journalist she’s always wanted to be. Writing compelling stories yet foretold, of and for women, culture and history, not any more of the boring gossip slop that already litters the papers.

Determination burst through you, renewed passion bubbling in your chest as you smile at the memories of the people, you’ve helped with your writing. Grateful to have read a story that made them feel fulfilled.

Idly your fingers drift up to your collarbone, the tips finding the pendant.

You clasp your hand around the warm wood, feeling its ridges and dips, as a gratefulness settles into your, previously ridged bones, grateful to be here now, having still this opportunity to prove yourself.

Grateful that Joel is already such a firm, steady presence, one you hope you’ll be able to lean on.

Joel soon calls you down to eat breakfast, not having had a proper meal yet himself.

"Y'gotta eat more, you're looking awfully pale" he counters, when you try to refuse another helping of scrambled eggs

"Yeah, I guess the burnout really did a number on me.." you reminisce, Joels brown eyes mirroring your own sorrow as his brows nit tight.

"T'was that boss of yours who pushed you huh?" your eyes widen, Joel giving a curt huff, his jaw tightening

"Your.. father told me, ya really need to stand up for yourself" he elaborates, his eyes cautiously shifting over your face

"But I couldn't risk this position.... it was a spot at the paper I've been meaning to be part of since I've been tiny"

"Yeah, runnin' around pretending me and your Pa were evil monsters who wanted to catch you" Joel coos at you, a small smile present on his face, as he nurses his cup of coffee.

You face grows warm and you give a scoff

"Well, you at the very least still pass as a gruff evil monster with that frown carved onto your face" you tease him, the permanent crease on his forehead deepening as he gives you a mocking glare

Letting out an offended huff though, there's a slight quirk to the corners of his mouth, when he sees you laugh at his accepting silence.

Later on, Joel drives the two of you into town with his jeep. There you get to know his brother, Tommy whom you’ve completely forgotten, in your haze to even recall Joel himself.

He runs a shop there, owned by an elderly lady whose given him the workload she’s too frail to bare.

“My my you’ve grown all up into a shining star haven’t ya?” Tommy smiles, playfully pinching your cheek

“Well I suppose so”

“Quite the time Joel has invited you over…” he muses “it’s curious I must admit”

Your eyebrow furrows as you shot the mentioned man a questioning look. Not able to gouge anything from his usually resting bitch face.

“Well it was kind of more of a hurried thing on my part” you offer

A creak from the corner making you look behind you, as Miss Perkins — the owner of the shop— studies you.

“Curious indeed, with the harvest coming on”

She says solemnly, her focus back on her book, nestling herself back into the fur clad rocking chair, she’s perched on.

“You certainly are quite the looker aren’t you dearie?” Miss Perkins adds on, her gaze back on you, her book now upon her thighs.

Your cheeks grow warmth and you give her a smile. “I could say the same for yourself Miss Perkins”

She scoffs in a playful manner, her own cheeks a bit darker now in contrast to the rest of her dark skin.

“You are terrible dearie. Now a lady with a business like myself know that as a strong woman a helping hand can help”

A pit forms in your stomach, as you know what’s to come. It’s granny codex probably to ask younger folk about their love lives.

“Is there someone waiting for you back in the city?”

Joel’s broad presence next to you huffs out a tinge of air as he and Tommy decide to take this as their cue to stock Joel up on supplies.

A bit helpless but not able to really blame them you stand there exposed before the old ladies, droopy but sharp as ever eyes.

“Well, there hasn’t been someone for a while— my career was my main pursuit” you explain

Your eyes drifting over your shoulder to the pair of men, that have abandoned you.

“Well, Miss Perkins I’d rather talk about the occurrences around here” you step forward, pulling your trusty notebook out of your jacket.

She tsks but retaliates, musing at the fringe of her cardigan.

“Well dearie I think there’s much to cover, how about we step into the back for a bit”

You turn to Joel and Tommy, waving your hand at him.

Joel’s head perks up, eyeing you as you motion to the back door of the shop. He gives a solemn nod his eyes lingering a tad longer than necessary on you before turning back to Tommy.

The back room is filled to the ceiling with boxes and crates with cans. Though there is a small corner in the back with two worn arm chairs around a small coffee table. This room no doubt functions as a warehouse as well as break room.

You help Miss Perkins into her own seat, her wild coiling hair bouncing as she lets herself fall into the armchair.

You find your own seat, your pen and notebook ready at hand.

“Now dearie, there is much to discuss. I’ve been trying to get papers to talk about the disappearances and sightings before but ohh—“ she grasps her wrist a distant look on her face, the crinkles she earlier displayed now faded as has her smile.

“Who listens to an old hag boast about moth-men and werewolf’s” your head snaps from your notebook to her face studying her expression

“Werewolves?” You quip

“Oh yes, those are the most present here” she muses

“How so?” You inquire, your eyes drifting to her neck, a necklace adorning her much like your own. Just without the carvings, hers being a simple circle with a seemingly branded on wolf head, on the front.

“The hunting folk often find clumps of unusual fur on their expeditions. Then there are just sightings, on top of the howling— though the area is known to house a good few wolf packs.” Your own scratches across the paper as you take note of the mentioned details, your eyes drifting back to the necklace again and again.

“Sorry to interrupt Miss Perkins but I can’t help but wonder where you got that necklace” You state, an opening smile forming on your face

Her eyes widen a tinge, she looks down taking the pendant in hand, turning it over in her lithe hands.

“Well, dearie it was a considerate gift from my dear Tommy” she replies a smile painting her lips

“That’s lovely, it’s a beautiful piece”

“Yes it quite is. He’s quite the artist that Tommy” she eyes your own neckline

“Not much unlike his brother I suspect” she gives a knowing smile, though Nathan’s more knowing than even you are.

“Yeah it’s quite lovely”

You two continue your banter, you get a few heaps of potentially useful information out of her before you two go back into the store.

“Before you leave” Miss Perkins stands, wobbly a bit with you reaching, though she catches herself and walks over to a cupboard, an array of books inside it.

She lets her forefinger brush over the spine of the books until she falls upon one clad in a dark faded red tone. The book is pushed into your palms by her, the leathery bound book feeling warm and heavy in your hands as you turn in over.

“It’s a bit more about this town, my dear husband was infatuated with the history of our own cryptids. You might find it more useful than I do”

A shocked look paints your face, trying to give the book back to her though she shakes her head.

“I couldn’t possibly—“

“I insist, dearie. Here it’ll just catch dust, I know it back to back by now”

You give a grateful smile, a small gasp leaving you as she pulls you into an unexpected embrace.

“You got what you needed?” Joel’s voice breaks you both out of your thoughts, his head peeking into the back.

You and Miss Perkins pull back making your way to him, back into the rustic shop.

“Quite” you answer, leather-bound book already stowed into your jacket.

He gives a gruff nod and hum of approval, a crate in hand with various food items as well as some rope and what looks to be a lot of herbs.

“Wow you planning to make some soap?” You quip

He raises an eyebrow, his gaze drifting into the crate.

“Something like that” he gives a short reply, his dark gaze meeting your own

Yet you feel weird, a pressure like tingling builds up in your stomach at his look. His own eyebrows furrow a bit as if he could also feel it, something is there, then the smell of the herb's drifts to your nostrils— sandalwood, and the spell between you is promptly broken.

“Well, you two take care out there now. If you need anything the town is only a half hour walk down the road” Tommy perks up, ignoring the weird tension between you and your host.

A sincere look on his face, his eyes not leaving your own until you give a nod.

“Good, watch the road. I stumbled upon a deer family earlier” he clasps his hand on Joel’s back who grunts in disapproval.

You give Miss Perkins one last look, as she’s settled back into her rocking chair, giving you a reassuring smile.

The next few days could only be described as domestic bliss. You and Joel settle into a comfortable rhythm, you help out around his house. Cleaning, cooking and even chopping wood— though after almost flinging the axe at Joel you decided to let him do that part.

Despite it all it’s strangely comforting, the cabin is cozy, the woods make for a perfect spot to take small walks in, though Joel usually accompanies you— because of the wolves he says.

Though you think otherwise, have you perhaps finally chipped a way through his stoic exterior, giving free a glimpse of a more soft and gentle Joel?

Who knows, he certainly wouldn’t agree, though you might be inclined to.

On one of these walks you learn more of his past with your father and the town. Any mention of cryptids are immediately shot down by him, harsh huffs and grumbling comments about the ridiculousness of the notion, and how you are much like your father to insist on the presence of them.

Though, the howling at night, the matted down fur clumps you find near the cabin with no wolf ever showing itself, you start to believe the ramblings of Miss Perkins.

The book she gave you also let you in on theories her husband had gathered on said cryptid, though notably most of those were on potential werewolves.

You set down the plate, the table outside on the veranda decked with a checkered cloth, and the spoils of your Labour in the kitchen.

Giving a smile you look towards the chopping block, as Joel is hard at work, splitting another log in half. Usually when he works all he is clad in are some working pants and a T-shirt, but today the sun has been surprisingly harsh leaving you to only wear a top and shorts yourself. Much like you Joel is donning a tank top though you suspect he might change before dinner, as the fabric is soaked and see through.

The muscles on his back flex as you make your way down to him, eyeing his own spoils of Labour.

“Wow! Who is this pile for?” You ask eyeing the hill of split logs, permeating the ground before you two.

His studying gaze drifts to you, his eye momentarily landing on your neckline.

“The Johnson family— they pay mighty fine” he grunts, his eyes drifting over the rest of your form.

“Where is your necklace?” He asks, a tad cautiously

You give a sheepish look, your fingers drifting over the slight rash on your nape.

“Oh I just put it off for today, don’t worry I still love it very much and didn’t throw it away” you tease back, leaving out the detail that you had a allergic reaction to the leather

He hums in though, his brows knitting together

“You’ll put it back on tonight” he huffs

“Yeah yeah don’t worry. I’ll wear it for our game night, you big old softie” he flushes a pretty crimson at the mention

The two of you started making it a habit to play all the board games Joel still had left from his childhood. A few of them are great and last up to an hour but others are well Uno.

He gives an embarrassed hum, his gaze avoiding your own, he pulls on his tank top.

“Is dinner ready yet?”

“Yeah, I came to fetch you”

You both move together to the veranda with Joel excusing himself momentarily, to change his top.

Your stomach gives a small pang at that, though you cannot or don’t want to place why it would have that reaction.

Soon you two sit at the table, contently eating your dinner. Joel giving hums of approval as he bites into the tender meat of the steak.

“There won’t be a game night tonight—“ he suddenly says

You look up in surprise from your own dish, humming as you chew faster so you can swallow to ask him:

“Why?”

“I’ve got some work to do in the evenin’ won’t be back til late” he says steadily his eyes focused on his food, as yours are focused on him.

“Hmm a shame really….” You pout, his gaze meeting yours over your glass as you take a sip.

Then his eyes fall into your neck again, watching your throat flex to swallow the liquid down. Gods his gaze is so intense you shift on your seat, the motion makes his eyes meet your own before his tongue peaks out to wet his chapped lips.

The steady yet darkening gaze he holds makes you choke on your drink, spraying from your mouth like a geyser onto Joel and his freshly changed shirt.

His eyes are closed, as well as his eyes being furrowed, slowly he opens them to assess the damage. His white shirt thoroughly soaked.

“I am so so—“ but before you can finish he just takes it off.

His hairy pecs now on full display, in front of your salad no less—

You tear your eyes from his sculpted torso ignoring how the slight layer of fat gave him a shapely dad bod.

“I am not changin’ again this one is on you, doll" he teases casually, continuing to eat as if nothing of note had happened

Your cheeks grow warm with embarrassment.

“You’ll still wear the necklace, though right?” He utters suddenly

Snapping you out of your screeching thoughts, what?!

“I— of course it’s the least I could do fo—“

“Making me wet, yeah that much is true”

You huff out an offended puff of air, as heat shots to your ears and cheeks, earning a rare smirk, that dancing on Joel’s lips.

“Where are you later anyways?” You asks poking at your food

“Just doing deliveries” and that’s that.

The two of you don’t talk that much more only little snippets of you asking more questions about his childhood, with your dad and sometimes even about what he remembers from your visits.

Soon you’ve retired to the couch before the fireplace, taking the time to finally sort your notes and as well as your thoughts.

The more time you spent with Joel the more you realize the ever growing attraction within you, a heat building up in your core when he unintentionally flexes his arm while reaching for something behind you, the small growls he makes when you beat him at squabble, or the way his hand settles on your back durning those walks through the woods.

It all builds up to a blinding white heat within you, each time you two seem to grow closer, then there’s a light waft of— something and the tension is gone.

You shake your head, the papers laying before you rippling from the slight breeze created.

Joel has left about two hours ago, after you told him you’d take a small nap, feeling strangely exhausted after dinner and the clean up after it.

Your hand drifts to your neck, the still remaining rash on the back of your neck. Despite your claim you put off on wearing the necklace tonight, though you think Joel would understand were you to tell him about it.

A harsh breeze harshly rattles the window, in contrast to this sunny morning, as you hear the anticipating rumblings of thunder clouds in the distance.

Back to the investigation, over the days you’ve gathered evidence away from Joel criticizing prying eyes.

Photos showing abnormally big wolf paw prints near the entrance of the forest, a ziplock with strangely silvery fur as well as one big claw.

On top of that there are all the customers you’ve questioned while helping Joel do his wood deliveries.

The combination of all of this giving a compelling story, though it feels as though there is one big piece you are missing. Something right beneath your nose….

Thud

It resounds outside, a storm having brewed steadily while you were focused on your evidence. You stand as you creep towards the window towards the front of the house.

The steady increase of rain making it hard to distinguish the outside, as well as the darkness.

Your feet carry you towards the door, your eyes gazing over the exterior. The wind blows harshly through the threes, throwing mean long shadows onto the front of the house only small specs of full-moon light filtering through the stormy mass.

You quickly snap the door back shut as the wind harshly blows rain onto your frame.

“No fucking way” you press out annoyed, looking down on you drenched ‘Pyjama’ which consisted of a pair of shorts and a T-shirt.

Then there’s a rattle at the back door, your head snaps to the direction of the noise, only seeing a brief shadow outside before it’s gone again.

Your heart stop, there’s someone outside, of course on the night where Joel is conveniently gone someone would try to break in.

You quickly run towards the fireplace, arming yourself with the adjacent fire-poker. The tip still glowing with heat, making you hope that if someone truly broke in your have a good go at hurting them.

Thud

This time it’s the front door, your gaze snapping towards it.

Thud

This time you see the mere power the potential intruder possesses, the door creaking in its hinges as it buckles inwards at the mere blow the outsider performs.

Your heart is now going ten miles per hour, beating so harsh you feel it ringing in your ears.

Sneaking past the door you move upstairs, taking the next door available, on the right.

As you settle into the room a distinct scent penetrates your nostrils, you flinch back at the stench. Turning to look at your surroundings to see any indication for the smell— there on the floor it looks like a mix of skin and blood.

Almost looking like the skin of a human cadaver, ripped off and shredded.

You want to cry at the sight, fearing what has potentially happened while you were asleep before.

That’s when you notice, you are in Joel’s room— you’ve not even caught a glimpse of it before now and now everything it screams is danger.

A Crash resound from down stairs, and you slap your unoccupied hand across your mouth, desperate to silence any sounds that could lean whoever was down there to you.

Thud thud thud then there’s a small hiss and a distinct growl

Oh gods, what is that?! You go towards the door, being a sitting duck were you to stay here, and were it to find you.

Slowly you creep out to the floor, careful of every single step you take.

You hear another growl followed by the sound as if someone were sniffing the air, then silence.

Dead silence.

You freeze on the spot not daring to look behind you towards the stairs.

“Soooo sweet” a terrifying timbre of a voice, deep and bone shaking.

Though there is something familiar about it, you gaze over your shoulder behind and there he stands.

Hunched over, hair riddling his entire form, he stands at least 7 feet now making you jaw slacken, aghast at the mere sight of him.

Then a drip, saliva strings slowly dribble from his mou— maw, as he slowly threads closer. You shriek, fire poker extended before you, as you swing it about in hopes of keeping the beast off of you.

Suddenly the poker is slapped out of your grasp falling somewhere behind the beast, your eyes snap open.

Truly taking in the form before you, naked in all his— Unbridledly hairy, glory. The distinct shape, of an unsheathed length, heavy between his thighs, as he draws ever closer.

“I could smell you—“

“From a fucking mile away, didn’t you promise me doll?” The deep rumbles resound

Promise? Oh gods it’s all so clear, the thing— man before you a mix of wolf and man now smelling the air between you, is Joel.

He’s bigger, harrier and most certainly more monstrous but…. It’s Joel.

Right?

“Joel?”

“My sweet babydoll” he steps closer, his face pressing into the juncture between your neck and shoulder.

You gasp at the surprisingly cold touch, he’s awfully chilly, you note, as you clasp your hand on his shoulder to push him off.

“What are you—ahhh” you gasp, as a tingly wet muscle moves in a stripe up your neck.

Did he just lick you?!

What happened to him, what does this have to do with the necklace and what—

“Stop— it’s done and gone now we can finally mate”

What?

“I can smell those thoughts doll… you don’t need them anymore. No more thinkin’ baby” his canines slightly graze the pulse on your neck, resulting in a sharp whine on your part

“What why?”

You press out, another yelp gets torn from your throat as Joel picks you up, as if you weight as much as a couple grapes and moves with you cradled to his chest to his room.

The foul smell that earlier perforated the air now gone as well as the mess on the floor, replaced by a huge nest like mess of furs, blankets and pillows.

“How did you—“ Joel gently but firmly presses you face first into the nest below.

“Hmpf” you try gasping against the pillow

“Such a perfect smell…. I’ve yearned for you to be mine doll” a cold nose presses against your naked thigh

“Oh my god Joel” you cry out, tears forming in your eyes as you feel claw like hands roam over your thighs.

Then there’s a careful kiss pressed close to were your naked thigh meets your shorts.

“That necklace was for your own protection” he huffs against your thigh.

“He— wanted you save, wanted you to wear it…”

Is this beast not Joel? — or it’s the beast within Joel out of his own control?

“We can’t smell you through sandalwood…. Especially my mates sweet floral fragrance” his clawed hands grip the seam of your shorts, resulting in your struggling to reach back but he pushes you back, he is much too tall and strong for you to over power him.

“But now” he rips down your shorts in one go, exposing your embarrassingly creamy pussy to the harsh airs

A hum of approval leaves the beast, Joel— as he takes a wiff of your now exposed pussy.

Giving the exposed part an attentive lick, making your head spin. He presses his maw deeper into your juicy pussy lips, trying to drag his tongue over each crevice available.

All you can do is lay there, back arched into a perfect bow like shape, puffy pussy being ravaged by you fathers best friend while he’s in a beastly form.

Gods it’s so intoxicating

“So delicious…so warm— to think he’d deprive ME, deprive you…” he crawls over you until you feel an uncomfortably telling weight of a throbbing, veiny appendage against your drooling labia.

“My sweet girl, she deserves to feel wanted— she deserves to be shown what she’s good at” he huffs out, his face now next to your own as you catch a look at his irises, before a warm welcoming brown you’ve grown to love.

Now tinged with yellow making it a honey, golden brown— one that makes you a pit form in your stomach.

“I’ll make you see what you are, what you can be, what we can make together…” he grits out, as if fighting the words within himself

“Wait I don’t—“ do you not want this?

You ask within yourself, the question ringing trough your body, all the moments you’ve had with him, moment where you were almost certain that there was something there, only for the smell of sandalwood to break it up.

The questions answer is clearer than ever, you want Joel— but… it this— thing truly him. This huffing hulking beast, whose impatiens thick cock rests against your wet pussy lips.

Gods maybe it is, maybe it is him.

“Please just, be careful” you press out your eyes meeting his own, amber like, eyes.

He leans close licking a comforting stripe up your cheek, murmuring against your skin.

“I’ll make sure to give you what you need”

Then he props himself up, shifting atop yourself— his swollen abnormally huge dick slapping ever so often against your thigh and pussy.

When he’s finally settled into a stance, his face right above your neck, he juts his hip forward. His sensitive member rubbing through your own needy pussy lips.

“Juicy pussy….” He grumbles above you

“Ah” you gasp as he continues to jut his hip into yours, confusion making itself present within you

The coated tip brushes past your entrance, almost catching on the sensitive hole but ultimately pushing past it, delivering a hit to your swollen clit.

You choke out a gasp, he a frustrated growl as he pulls back to perform another attempt.

Is he trying to? Shove his dick inside without his.. claws

Realization dawns on you, perhaps it’s not as easy handling a rampant yet sensitive part like his dick with hairy rough paw-like hands.

“Here let me—“ you reach back, getting a grasp on his— eerily slick member, seemingly already coated in a thick layer of his pre.

It throbs hungrily in your grip, almost loosening the firm grasp due to the veins intensive pulsing.

“Oh my…” you whisper out, praying to every god available that your own arousal as well as Joel’s spit suffices as lube.

He jerks forward in your grasp making you tighten your hold on his shaft.

“Please—“ a whine bubbles out of his chest, pressed against your own back.

“Your cunt, let me-“

“Only if you’re good” you bite back, an almost canine like whine leaving him

“Anythin’” another short whine as you press the fat leaky tip against your opening.

“Now you go slow—“ you start, but it’s no use, he juts forward feverishly like as if in heat.

His cock almost halfway inside of your tight gummy walls, making you almost scream in pleasure as your pussy spasms and convulses around the creamy shaft— spurts of your arousal coating the fur beneath.

“Oh my god fuck”

You press your face into the blankets bellow, embarrassed by how his mere length inserted within you made you squirt.

“S’tight” Joel drawl appear to even with the more rough sound of a werewolf

“Please, darlin’ wanna see you” he whines out, nipping at your shoulder.

You prop yourself up, his slitted pupils meeting your blown out ones. The eye contact makes him purr in approval.

Then he starts moving, more gently, as if coming back to his senses in a way.

Each thrust, plunges a bit deeper than the last resulting in a symphony of moans and pleading from you. For more, for him to go faster and slower.

All of it, you need it all.

“Whenever you wore these slutty shorts, he wished to bend you over the choppin’ block— pullin them aside to show you what a true man does to his mate..”

“Oh gods yes”

He speeds up, becomes more feverish with his thrusts noticing your pussy become softer, wetter, gripping his cock with each plunge. 

“He wished to defile you, ruin you— just as you’ve ruined him”

All you can do is flop around underneath him trying to get him in deeper, as you plunge back and he forward.

“This won’t do—“ he rasps out primaly, picking you up, his stiff creamy cock slipping out of your sloppy, gaping cunt.

You let out a whiney, No please, but the distress is momentarily as you’re laid back on your back.

His maw drips, strings of saliva, collecting in a pool on your T-shirt. Then he grasps each of your legs in his rough claws, folding you in half like it’s nothing underneath his towering form.

“We gon’ give you what you need” he purrs out as a last warning before plunging back into your pussy— a creamy mix of your and his combined, juices squelching out around his cock.

You call out for him, but he silences you as he molds his lips to your neck and bites down, moving in and out of you, like you are his personal fleshlight.

Soon an intense pressure builds up at the base of his cock, making your eyes drift down to the member, seeing the clear outline of a knot?!?

“Oh gods Joel wa-“

He cuts you off by crushing his lips against your own, leaving your neck a hickey riddled mess.

A white ring of your creamy, combined arousal forms at the base of his cock. The base which is steadily growing thicker.

Soon Joel starts purring something a silent prayer growing louder and louder with each blow he delivers with his hips to your own.

“I love you—“ plap “I love you” plap “I love you” plap-

His messy knot smears on your puffy pussy lips, as Joel punctuates his mantra with each thrust.

Until a squelching resounds through out the room, you pussy stretching impossibly wide to accommodate the new girth.

A shocked gasp leaves, your head swimming with pleasure, as you feel a deep tightness building up in your stomach, glancing down the revelation dawns on you, that Joel’s messy tip is pressed right against the opening of your womb, like a battering ram preparing to strike.

His big, calloused touch drifts to the part of your stomach that’s slightly bulging due to his girth. Gently he pressed down, an explosion of pleasure spreads through your core, leading to your pussy lips spasming around his knot.

You gasp, Joel grits his teeth his head swimming with need. He noses at your throat a whine rumbling through him, sending a shiver down your arched spine.

“Inside— need to cum inside” It’s like he’s drunk on his desire, on your pussy, the tightness, your sounds, you.

“Gonna come inside this pussy, make you carry my child”

Another gasps rips out of you as he moves again, his throbbing length impatiently prodding through your cervix, into your unprotected womb.

Gods, the display is one of pure primal perversion, but what really counts as vanilla, when a Werewolf version of your father’s friends is desperately pleading for entry into your womb, to breed you. To have all of you full of him, to have you carry his children.

A whine bubbles out of your chest, your head lolling to the side exposing more of your neck.

Joel presses in harder, his swole testicles a heavy weight on your pulsing rim. Reminding you of all the cum, all the love he’s willing to give you. He needs to give you.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck” you garble out

Joel’s tongue lapping at your throat, and face before pulling you into a messy, overly consuming kiss.

One of his hands previously folding you in half, starts to tear at your t-shirt, ripping the fabric into bits.

Finally, free from the confines of your shirt, Joel greedily eyes take in the shape of your tits before fondling them. Making a show of weighing your breast in each hand, his thumb ghosting over each nipple, making your mouth fall agape.

He leans towards you, licking a small strip over your still agape mouth before leaning down to engulf your left nipple with his warm wet mouth.

His tongue flicks over the nub, making a show of suctioning your areola before letting his teeth graze over your sensitive nipple.

He pops of your tit with a resounding piping noise, purring in approval. Sending your head spiraling at the obscenity.

“-full of milk for all the pups you’ll carry, darlin’”

You snap out of your cockdrunk daze to catch the ending of his post-impregnation promises. His deep timbre voice, pushing you over the edge for the second time, another spurt of you juices now coating his fur, sprays in small desperate spurts out of your pussy.

His gaze meets yours, intense yellow tinged irises gazing upon your own, glazed over expression.

“You’ll make a perfect brood-mother”

That’s the last warning you get before his hips snaps forward one last time, fully seated within you, Joel growls into your shoulder and then you feel it, hot ropes of sticky cum, filling you up. 

A fuck load of it as well, on top of the bulge of his knot within you, the mere over-excessive amount of cum adds on top of the already existing bulge. Making you look as if you were already knocked up.

Joel's body trembles from the exertion above you and he stumbles atop as he finishes, he slumps into his side, his cock still seated within you as we pulls you with him.

His form slowly turning back into a more human shape, his cock growing limp within you.

"Joel?"

"Yes, Doll?" his familiar drawl returns, making your heart beat out of your chest in pure bliss, a beaming smile settling onto your face.

"I love you..."

"I adore you darlin'" his arms embrace you properly, his lips pressing a multitude of kisses along your nape, the feel of his familiar beard letting you sink back into him

"You deserve everythin' ...M'sorry it came to--"

"It's alright, I just want you." you pull his arms tigher around you, letting him continue to litter you with kisses.

Lying there with his large frame engulfing your own, you let out a content sigh, feeling as though all the frustration, to make the perfect article, that was building up within you from these last few weeks was gone.

Whatever intention Joel had for letting you stay here, does not matter now.

And that’s all you can think of as you lay there, a blissed out smile dawning on your face, knowing that your workplace and shit boss can go fuck itself.

Knowing that with Joel’s help, you will take care of it and more importantly, he will take care of you— his everything.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ──────── · ·

A/n: Why would you wanna be independent if you could let Joel Miller fuck you full of pups?

Cowboy Joel art credit goes to Betty Jiang on Artstation (I merely made changes to the nose and the additional facial hair)

Brother the DEVOTION, the quest to gain her favor like his life depends on it? I'll take 50. Their meeting, the way you wrote it, was so much better than I was imagining. I looooove his anguish to the thought she only likes him a fraction of what he feels for her, my chest hurts and it will kill me, but I love every second.

covetous

a/n: Jesus Maggie, you really called me out on my bullshit for this one. Originally I want this story to just be a bunch of sexy encounters in a morally questionable world, now we're talking about feelings and love and how the hell did we get here? (This is how I would imagine him the first time he sees his Girl) Please enjoy this un-beta'd, barely edited request. All mistake and errors are mine! please enjoy

Warnings; 18+ no minors, Marcus pov, vague but big-legal age gap, there's no actual sex, but memories of it, vulgar yet romantic musings, master / slave dynamic (power imbalance) he’s still pretty possessive, Marcus calls reader Girl, reader calls Marcus Dominus - let me know if I missed any!

Pairing: Marcus Acaciusx F!Reader

word count: 1.1k (😅)

reblogs are appreciated

Masterlist series masterlist

War is easy. It’s a language he’s fluent in, something he excels in. He is blessed enough to have survived more battles that he could count and has been more than rewarded for his prowess. Battle plans, marches and military strategy are almost second nature, the fury, the heat of battle, all that he can anticipate and it’s probably the main reason he’s come this far in his life. 

Soldiers, camp life and brutality, those things are easy for him to understand.

Other matters, love, affection, attraction; these things are…harder. 

Physically, he’s perfectly adequate. He's never been ignorant to his looks, or his build. He knows that he fills the societal ideal for a man. He’s broad, he’s strong, he has a good face and no physical flaws.

He’s never been short of attention from the fairer sex either but that doesn’t mean anything as far as he’s concerned. He’s had his trysts, and he thinks he might have even been in love before but his luck seems to stop, and stay within his vocation. 

In his younger days, he’d broken his fair share of hearts, he’d been gifted the virtue of many a virgin in hopes of tempting him into a marriage. None of them had held his attention for more than that one night, and sometimes, in the late hours wherever he found his rest he secretly feared the Gods might be punishing him. Withholding the partner he hopes to find as payment for those broken hearts left in his wake. 

As he grew older, wiser and more practical he learned to ignore that little emptiness. He saw it more as a blessing. Would he be where he was now with a woman waiting for him? Would he have hit his station with children bearing his name pulling at his thoughts in the middle of battle? Perhaps the Gods had simply made a trade. His life, or his heart. 

He’d been content with his lot in life, until he’d seen her. 

She’d served at a gathering he’d been loath to attend. His eyes tracked her, the shine of her hair, the curve of her hip, her pretty smile. Her eyes had locked with his for half a heartbeat and he’d felt it in his belly. A rolling, like waves in a stormy ocean. 

She’d gone about her business, efficiently fulfilling her duties while the guests all spoke animatedly around him. He’d joined in after reigning in his reaction, but she’d taken every ounce of his attention with her. 

He’d negotiated her purchase the next day. 

-

She was quick. She learned everything faster than a lot of the others in his service, and she seemed to anticipate his needs before he spoke them. Most of the time, he barely needed to say anything at all, and so he kept quiet. Kept his thoughts, and his feelings to himself. 

His biggest need though, was her. He wanted her bad enough to hurt, to ache.

He was well aware of the practices in other houses. Slaves were there to obey, and in most houses that meant obeying with work, and with their bodies. He saw no issue in this, it was the way of the world. No matter how badly he wanted her though, he couldn’t make himself order her to spread her legs for him. Maybe it was a foolish, childish thing but he wanted her to crave it just as he did. He wanted her wet, he wanted her begging for him, he wanted to see pleasure and lust on her pretty face. 

He wanted her to want him. 

A year passed, and every second in her presence was exquisite torture. A torture he submitted himself to freely and with a perverse pleasure. It was a test of endurance, until the fateful night she’d come to him with her wet tunic, all of her body on display through the sheer fabric. The shadow of her cunt had sent him into a frenzy and when she’d come back and caught him fucking his fist he’d thought it was just another form of punishment. 

It was that look on her face though, that heavy lidded, open mouthed way she stared at him, nipples hardening that had finally made him crack. 

That first night he’d taken her, he’d stayed up in his bed, almost blinded with want. Her body had not alleviated the craving for her, if anything, it’d only made it worse. He’d replayed their encounter over and over, obsessed with the taste of her on his fingers, obsessed with the feel of her lips on his. From then on, she’d only cemented her hold on him. Her quiet obedience, her subtle seduction, the way she’d managed to scrape the shape of herself onto his brain.

She’d made herself the figurehead in his mind, the holy place at which he prayed, the Goddess he served. If he could, he’d light a thousand candles at the altar of her cunt, and pray to them daily.

He fought harder to return to her, he took note of her wants, of her preferences, and made sure to cater to her, despite no one in the house, not even her realizing. He dismissed the younger boys that lusted after her, he was covetous of her to the point of violence. A small smile from her could dictate his mood. The thought of her in pain made him feel like some feral wolf caught in a trap, ready and willing to chew part of himself away to reach her. 

Sometimes, after he’d spilled inside her, he’d let her fall asleep in his bed and relish the way she clung to him in her sleep. It was a double edged sword though, their stations in this life. A part of him fears that her want is only an act, a way to endear herself to him, her Dominus. A foundation to earn her freedom, or coin, or influence through him but then he sees the shy way she smiles at him and his fears are silenced to nothing. 

She cannot fake the way she flutters around his cock, she cannot pretend to feel nothing, not when he sees the same jealousy he feels shining through her eyes at the mention of the mostly political proposals he’s denied. The things she says, the way she takes her pleasure from him, all of these things only compound his delusions that just maybe, she feels for him a fraction of what he feels for her. 

It’s a sort of madness, truly, how that part of him that was the perpetual soldier had in so many respects switched their roles, had given her a control–a power he was sure she didn’t realize she had. 

He was sick with want for her, ravenous, and yet unable to soften himself in a way that would make her see the truth, make her see just how much she truly meant to him. He couldn’t make himself show her, that whatever she asked of him, he’d do with a smile.

For now at least. 

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WHAT WHAT THATS THE END OF THE FUCKING STORY NO WAYYYYY! IVE BEEN HERE FOR YEARS (basically not really lol) THEY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER YAY BUT ALSO OH MY GOD (Tommy and Maria need to butt out what the hell) IM IN SHOCK (the smut was fantastic i can't believe the mom and Coop and Jake admitted to doing it instead I still wanna know what happens next) I CANT BELIEVE ITS OVER IM GONNA CRY IM CRYING

Alone and Forsaken

Chapter 20 Summary:

With the barn fire raging miles beyond Jackson's walls, Joel can't help but contemplate the last few months. Sure, meeting you had made his life livable, but what had his presence done to you? As the night draws to an end, Joel can't find it in himself to stay present and much to his dismay, you notice it immediately. After a difficult conversation is had, will the two of you be able to form a united front. And, how will the rest of Jackson react when two melted corpses are found in a pile of ash just a few miles outside of the gates?

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Comfort, A/B/O Dynamics, Mention of Past Abuse, Joel is in LOVE, Mention of Heat/Rut, FILTHY Smut, Like Truly Filthy.

A/N:

Hey y'all, I hope you guys have had a good start to fall :)

This week, we dive right in where we left off and get to see Joel trying to process the fallout. A bit of angst, as our boy is constantly blaming himself for everything, but it gets sorted out. Cut to some super filthy smut because I love you guys <3 This chapter has a lot of angst coming from other parties, as reader and Joel get put in an incredibly uncomfortable position by the residents of Jackson, but it also has quite a bit of fluff. Thanks for reading!

Chapter 20/20:

Chapter 20: The Bonds We Share

Joel couldn’t remember the last time fall was as cold as that night. The brisk wind blew through the trees in the backyard, leeching any residual warmth from his body as the evening turned to night, and he found himself shivering in the thickest flannel he owned. Not that he minded it much. With the blood still caked underneath his fingernails and the smell of smoke clinging to his hair, his mind was miles away. Memories of the past year whirled around his mind, until he felt like he was somehow in twenty places all at once. 

While Joel’s body was firmly placed in the solace of the quiet home in Jackson, he also hovered over himself as he ripped apart some random child’s room in the cabin he had found almost five years ago. He watched himself sob uncontrollably, violently shaking as he whispered over and over again that the little girls in the picture were not his. A part of him wished that he could reach out to that grief stricken man, to lay a hand on his shoulder and promise that his world would one day be whole, but he knew that he wouldn’t have listened. It would take four years of crushing guilt for him to be in a place where he could accept that kind of comfort and even still, there was only one person’s love that could have saved him. 

Which made his mind wander over to the bank of a swollen river, where Joel had found the person who would alter the course of his life. If there was one moment he was sure he would never forget, it was the first time he saw you. He couldn’t remember the last time he had seen someone so desolate, so in need of someone to take care of them and for some reason, he knew it had to be him. Although he had promised to take you to Tommy in the spring, kindly passing you off to a place that would most likely care for you better than he could, he was ashamed to admit that he was never going to let that happen. From that first night after he carried you home, when he had planted himself at your bedside and allowed your presence to lull him into his first peaceful sleep in years, he was hooked. 

Joel could have died a happy man that night, gladly welcoming the cold embrace of death as he kept watch over a wildly dehydrated and ridiculously filthy omega that stained his sheets with her mouth watering scent. But he didn’t die and every moment that he had with you since that first one was like a reward. From the first time he heard you speak around a mouthful of chocolate, to the first time he had pulled you onto his lap to snuffle at your gland, he had been trying desperately to ignore the obvious. Which, much to his dismay, only became painstakingly clear when you had gone into a heat. As he fucked your swollen pussy into submission, pouring weeks of pent up lust and thinly veiled affection into his thrusts, he realized that he would never escape his fate. No matter what happened in this lifetime, or the next, he would surrender his aching soul to you everytime. 

It wasn’t easy for Joel to come to terms with his feelings, much less his past, but he had finally found someone who was worth the pain of trying. Even when things went to complete shit, when his days seemed to be products of all his worst nightmares, he never once bemoaned the person who had been placed in his path. The fresh scars from the countless battles he had faced to get to you faded to the background, while his eyes could only focus on the woman he loved. The woman who had sparked life in his heart again, stoking the small flame into a blazing fire that could tear through entire cities, revitalizing his soul until he could barely recognize the man that he had been after Ellie died. 

As Joel shivered from the wind, allowing his mind to become untethered from his body, he couldn’t help but wonder if meeting him had been as good of a thing for you as it had been for him. Of course he knew that you had needed assistance when he found you, half starved and exhausted from days of walking aimlessly through the woods, but had Joel been too greedy? Had he mangled your sense of identity, fusing it with his until you were no longer that gentle being that he had found by the river? It was impossible for him to say, as he hadn’t known you before that chance encounter, but it hardly mattered now. The deed was done, the foes had been vanquished, all there was to do now was wait. 

After burning the barn, the two of you had snuck back into Jackson, slipping through the partially blocked off exit you had come from before hurrying home in an attempt to avoid any residents out for a late night stroll. While you had climbed the stairs, giving him a teasing grin as you promised to run a hot bath for you both, Joel had felt himself begin to drift off. 

He felt no regret about what he had done. Just as it had been with the hundreds of people he had killed over the years, Joel was confident that he had done what he must to protect what was his. His only point of contention was you, of how you had unleashed a side of yourself that he had never seen before, a side that he thought resembled himself a bit too much. He had allowed you to be complicit, gleefully watching with a steadily hardening cock as you tortured a man. And now, he couldn’t decide if that made him a bad alpha or a forward thinking one. 

At first, seeing you unleash your more primal self had turned Joel on, effectively shutting off all of his higher thinking as his blood was re-routed to his cock. And even still, he found himself cursing as he tried not to think about how good you looked splattered in blood, writhing against the workbench as he devoured you. But he put that aside, too confused to let himself do anything other than ponder his own part in your bloodlust. 

When that beautiful voice that always made his heart skip a beat finally rang out in the stillness of the night, Joel shoved it all down so that he could fall into your arms free of guilt. He caught you in the doorway, making you giggle as his hulking form knocked you back a few steps, and hugged you like you might slip away if he ever let go. And you let him, planting sweet kisses to the side of his face until you eventually pulled back. 

Joel let you drag him upstairs afterwards, numbly following you through the house as his mind slid back into the past. Images of you dragging him home through a storm came to mind and he remembered how much his hands had stung from the chicken wire he had hastily put up. The sting, much like many of the other ailments his mind and body were prone to, had been soothed by you. Joel smiled as he thought about how you had wrapped his hands in bandages before you frantically rode him into submission, chastising him for leaving you alone during his rut-fueled quest to reinforce the security system. His mind was so clouded by the past that he barely noticed how hot the water was when he slipped into the bath behind you, only coming to when you suddenly turned in his lap and grabbed his face. 

“Hmm - What? Huh?,” Joel slurred, completely out of it.  

“I said; I think if you try singing to him, Ellis might actually look up at you. He loves it when you play guitar for them, so maybe he just needs a little bit of showmanship from his papa,” you jested, giving him a cheeky grin as you did. 

Normally, that would have earned you at least a chuckle from him, but Joel couldn’t find it in himself to fake it. Sure, he was fine with what he had just done to those assholes. In fact, he’d happily do it again, but he couldn’t wrap his mind around you being okay with it. He felt like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop, like at any moment you would break and realize he had poisoned you, vowing to never forgive him before you kicked him to the curb for good. But the longer that didn’t happen, the more uneasy Joel became, until he wasn’t sure what was real anymore. 

“I uh… Yeah, I could try that I guess,” Joel stammered, still half in his head as he tried to form a coherent response. 

The expression on your face changed, the concern filled gaze making him sigh as Joel worked his way back to reality. Sometimes it was annoying how good you were at reading him. Joel grunted as you turned around to straddle him in the steaming waters, trying to ignore the sting that came when you accidentally kneed him in the balls. He gripped your hips, steadying them as you cupped his face and looked deeply into his eyes. And as much as Joel wanted to look away, to hide his conflicting feelings from you until they passed, he couldn’t stop himself from staring back, from letting you pierce through his armor with nothing but a glance. 

“Tell me what’s wrong Joel.” 

It wasn’t a request, it was a demand, and Joel knew he was bound by the bond and all of the other promises he had made to answer it. But for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out where to start. How could he look at the woman he loved, the mother of his children, and ask her whether he had tampered with her moral compass or not? That would lead to nothing but heartache, as he knew you would inevitably think something was wrong with you, when it was clearly him that was the issue. 

Or was he? 

Joel felt like his head was going to explode trying to figure it out by himself. 

“When we met, you had never killed anyone,” Joel stated, letting it hang in the air for a second while he gathered his thoughts. 

“Um, yeah? But what does that have to do with anyth-” 

“Then you met me,” he cut in, making you falter as he pushed through, “And now you’ve killed, how many? Ten? Twenty? A hundred people? Do you even know?” 

You scoffed, “A hundred is a little excessive Joel, don’t be dramatic. And to answer your question; no, I don’t know how many people I’ve killed. Probably more than twenty but less than fifty, but who's to say. To be honest with you, I forget most of them. Why? Why does it matter?” 

Joel didn’t say anything, already fearful that he had opened a nasty can of worms that would forever alter the fabric of your relationship. He wasn’t judging you for the killings, he’d be a fool to be that hypocritical; it was himself who he found fault in. If he had been all the things he wasn’t, if he had protected you better or been smart enough to know where the line should be drawn, perhaps then you wouldn’t have had to stain your hands with so much blood. Perhaps then he wouldn’t feel like he had destroyed someone’s innocence. 

“Sweetheart, did I -,” Joel stopped, clearing his throat as he switched gears, “Did you kill those men because you wanted to, or did you do it because you thought it was something I would want you to do?”

“Jesus fucking Christ Joel, what?!,” you admonished. 

“Because I’m worried that while you were changing me for the better, I was turnin’ ya into someone like me. And I ain’t saying that you’re broken or anything like that, I’m saying that I’m worried that I’ve changed you. Infected ya with all of my shit or something,” he rambled. 

Joel felt all of his fears bubbling up from the darkest corners of himself, forcing his nervous system to start pumping out sharp bursts of adrenaline as the walls caved in around him. He wanted to leap out of the bath and throw himself onto the raging barn fire miles outside of the gates, he wanted to weep into your chest and beg for your forgiveness. He wanted absolution for the sin of harming the one person he had sworn to protect with his life. But none of that came to pass, as he soon felt his head being yanked forward by the scruff of his neck, his face pressed into the spot beneath your ear so that his favorite smell could be pumped straight up his nostrils.  

“Honey,” he whined, trying to pull back so that he could explain himself better but you wouldn’t let him. 

Instead, Joel felt your hands come up to tangle in his curls, keeping him in place as you started to speak. 

“Do you know what it was like to grow up like I did? Can you even begin to understand what sort of shit I had to go through on a daily basis? I was five when the world went to shit Joel, FIVE, and I lost everything before I could even understand what that meant,” you said. 

With his heart breaking for the little girl you had once been, Joel started to draw small circles on your hip bones with one hand, while the other soothed the tension along your shoulder blades. It was meant to keep you grounded as you spoke, but he secretly knew you only humored his touch in moments like these because it soothed him. Although you had come to an understanding about your past, making peace with your mother and everything that had happened to you, that didn’t mean Joel was at peace with it. The thought of you in pain at any stage of life, even when he had yet to make your acquaintance, made him want to scream. And now that the twins were born it was even worse, as he couldn’t help but imagine your mini me, Alba, in the same situation. 

“I had to watch my mom kill my dad and she was…,” you sighed, “She was gone after that, I had nobody. And then there were the QZs, the constant running, my mom meeting Josiah and forcing us to join that group. I never even had a chance to process it and all of that shit just sat with me for years.” 

Joel wasn’t sure what to say so he stayed silent, allowing you the space to speak if that’s what you needed. For another minute you were quiet, continuing to rub the back of his head in a way that thankfully lessened the dull ache behind his eyes, and then you began again. 

“It all festered inside of me, until I was nothing but a big ball of fear and anger, until I didn’t even know who I was anymore. For years I was no better than the infected, just going through the motions day in and day out, but then I met you,” you said reverently, as if finding him was some sort of blessing. 

Joel nodded solemnly, understanding your perspective but unable to reconcile your views with his own. He knew exactly what it was like to be just going through the motions, he had also done so for years before he found you. However, you were overlooking his original point; that perhaps the real blessing would have been if he had saved you from starvation first and then the curse of being involved with someone like him afterwards. 

“That’s exactly what I meant though darling, you met me and then you started to change. Don’t you get it?,” he tried again. 

“No, it’s you that’s not getting it Joel. I spent years being nothing but a fucking victim. The greatest thing I could hope for was to be married off to someone who didn’t beat me. And after that? That I wouldn’t die in childbirth. But then, I met you and everything changed. Suddenly, I found someone who treated me like I was a person. I could actually be something other than a kept woman,” you argued. 

He softened at that, the reminder of what could have been your life making his stomach churn. Although Joel had been cursed with a woeful life as an adult, he could at least say that his formative years had been joyful. While he had spent his childhood swimming in the Texas heat, flirting with his classmates, playing football, and riding horses with his brother, you had spent yours being tormented and abused. Contrary to what any optimists may say, there was no silver lining to an upbringing like that. There was only that deep seeded pain that he knew you hid from the world, one that you put aside each day in order to carry on. The only conciliation Joel could think of was the knowledge that at least your own children would not be subjected to the same cruelty, but even that felt like a cheap reward for such a harsh start in life. 

“Joel, I need you to listen to me when I say this; I have been everything from a scared little girl, to a runaway bride, to a prisoner, to a killer, but the only thing that I have actually enjoyed being is your mate,” you said shakily while hot tears ran down your face and dampened his hair. 

“Oh honey,” he cooed against your heated skin. 

“I’m not done, please let me finish,” you begged, which instantly shut him up.

He felt you take a steadying breath, collecting yourself for a moment so that you could make your point. Joel stayed quiet, trying to soothe you in whatever way he possibly could as he waited. The last thing he wanted to do was to keep you from talking about it, as he knew that you usually preferred to keep the past tucked away. 

“Honestly, this does have a bit to do with you, but it’s not what you think,” you began, pulling back to look Joel in the eye as you continued, “I’m not letting anyone keep me from what makes me happy and what makes me happy is you. I am not a victim anymore, I am a person and I get to decide what I want. And I want you Joel Miller, that’s all there is to it.” 

Joel felt the weight being lifted from his chest, causing him to let out a deep breath that released all of his bunched up muscles. Although he would rather not think of you being tasked with any sort of dirty work, he was soothed by the knowledge that you had at least partaken out of your own volition. The last thing Joel needed was the guilt of ruining yet another person’s life, much less the life of his favorite person. 

“I was the one who suggested going after those guys Joel, and back at the cabin? You weren’t even around to tell me to kill Paul’s men, that was all me. Don’t go taking credit for something I wanted, for something I don’t regret in the slightest. I made my decisions all by myself babe,” you reminded him. 

With that reminder, Joel sighed, gazing up at you as he tried to decipher whether you were telling the truth or not. The look on your face told him that you were and he felt all of his previous worries about shattering someone’s innocence fade away. If this was what you had truly wanted, if killing them had brought you some sort of peace that forgiveness could not, who then was he to judge? Joel had wanted the same thing, regardless of the consequences, which meant he couldn’t chastise you for your own desires. 

“Okay baby, I get it. I just don’t ever want you to do something like that on account of me. What we did it…,” Joel sighed, “It still might come back to bite us in the ass, you know that right? And if it does, I ain’t got a clue what we’ll do.” 

“Maybe it will, maybe it won’t,” you shrugged, “I’m sure they will have questions for us and we already know that the people in town love to talk, but who cares? If it means we can put all of the shit from the past year behind us, isn’t it worth it?” 

“Sure is darling,” he drawled, smiling up at you as he did. 

With that, you leaned down and stole a kiss from Joel’s lips, one that warmed him from the inside out. It was more fleeting than he would have liked it to be and he found himself chasing your lips when you pulled away. A smug grin spread out on your face at his sudden neediness, but he didn’t care about how he looked. 

It was right for you to be smug about Joel’s obsession with you, especially when it was Joel that spent the majority of his day plagued by incessant daydreams about you. If only you knew how often he sat by himself, silenced by his own astonishment as he thought about how lucky he was to have found the love of his life under such peculiar circumstances. His infatuation was nothing short of torment, as he couldn’t go more than a minute without you popping into his brain, but he never wanted it to change. He’d happily slide into insanity if it meant that he could spend just a few more seconds thinking about his mate. 

Joel watched through heavy lids as you reached out and grabbed the shampoo, unable to keep himself from mooning over you as he did. Another cheeky grin was thrown his way when you caught his puppy dog eyes, accompanied by an exaggerated eye roll. It might have been meant as a cue for him to stop gawking, but Joel refused to heed that request, instead preferring to reach out to stop you from squeezing a glob of shampoo into your palm. 

“Let me?,” he whined shamelessly, uncaring of how pathetic he seemed.  

“Sure thing handsome,” you chuckled, “Just watch the eyes this time.”

Joel huffed at that, giving you a pointed look as he snatched the bottle from your grasp. Pink splotches rose to his cheeks and crept down his neck. He tried not to think about the first bath he had taken with you, where he had clumsily yanked on your hair in an attempt to wash it and then nearly drowned you when he tried to rinse the soap out. It had been truly mortifying, but Joel liked to think of himself as a reformed man. Since that blundering first try, he had been sure to pay attention to every aspect of your routines, carefully watching from afar in hopes that he might get a chance to wow you with his second try. Luckily for him, the chance presented itself when the twins began to crowd your womb, the enormous bump leaving you with little option other than to pass the self care duties off to him. 

“Hold up, who was it again that bathed ya when the twins got too big for you to handle it anymore?,” Joel pointed out, making you bite back a grin. 

“Okay fine, you’re very talented Joel,” you said sarcastically.  

“Damn straight,” he grumbled. 

The next few minutes were quiet, the only sounds in the room being the leaky faucet that he had yet to fix and the occasional whispered request from him to shift positions. Joel worked methodically, washing any remaining filth from your hair and slathering it with the conditioner before he moved downwards. He eased all the tension from your body as he worked, smiling when you eventually slumped into him with a sigh. 

“Okay honey, let’s rinse the conditioner out then you should be good to go,” he mumbled as he carefully eased your face away from the crook of his neck. 

“Ugh fine, but only because you’re cute,” you groaned. 

He shook his head, chuckling as he tipped your head back and rinsed the floral scented conditioner out of your hair. Joel smiled at your closed eyes, thankful that he was able to do something so mundane in a world that was anything but normal. Sometimes he couldn’t believe that this was his life. Most of his days were spent changing diapers, rocking cranky pups, and stealing as many kisses as he could from their radiant mother. As far as things go, the situation he found himself in was unique BECAUSE it was so normal. It was almost like he could forget about the horrors that lurked in the shadows beyond the walls and just live like any man should, like he had longed to for decades. 

“Hmm, you’ve gotten better at that baby. Gonna run Jake out of town if you get into the hair business,” you joked. 

Joel snorted, “I like washing YOUR hair darling, I don’t want to spend my days setting old ladies' perms and listening to them complain about their mates.” 

“Oh, but they would love you Joel. I just know they would be running back to the dining hall so they could tell all their friends about the big handsome alpha that did their hair. You’d make a killing,” you teased. 

“Quit it,” he grumbled, unable to hide the way his cheeks reddened at the compliment. 

Another soft smile from you only made it worse, until Joel was sure that his face was nearly as red as a tomato. The way you looked at him was just so affectionate, so full of unconditional love and commitment, that he was entirely bewitched. A spell had been placed on him from the moment he met you, curling around his heart and plucking at its strings until he gladly drowned his former self to be the mate that you needed. Joel was a new man, born again out of love and compassion, and he had you to thank for it. 

“Aw, it’s okay baby, I’m finished for now,” you jested, waggling your eyebrows at him in a way that made him roll his eyes, “Now pass me the shampoo, it’s my turn.” 

He handed you the bottle, hoping that humoring your request would stop the flattery before he died of embarrassment. And it did, kind of. Instead of sweet words, Joel let himself be worshiped in a different way, allowing you to massage the shampoo into his hair with your capable hands, soothing the inflamed muscles at the base of his skull. He sighed when you moved on to his body, his head thumping against the back of the tub as you wrestled with the knots in his shoulders. Undaunted by the heady task, you battled with his muscles until they submitted to your touch, and he couldn’t help the pathetic moan he let out as all the tension drifted away. 

“Fuck honey,” Joel groaned, completely and utterly blissed out. 

“Mmm, you like that?,” you sighed, your voice soft and airy as you did. 

It was a seemingly innocent question, yet Joel couldn’t help the way his mind wandered into more devious territory. His cock kicked up between his legs, twitching against your inner thigh so hard that your gaze snapped downwards. He tried hard to think of something, anything that would stop his hardening cock from ruining the loving moment, but he came up blank. How could Joel possibly keep himself from getting hard when you were naked and massaging his aching muscles, sighing into his ear as you softly asked him if he liked it? Well, the answer was that he couldn’t. He was just a man after all. 

“Well hello there,” you giggled. 

“C’mon baby, don’t tease. I can’t help it. D’ya know what you do to me sweetheart?,” Joel groaned, “Can’t even look at ya like this, you’re so fucking beautiful. You don’t even wanna know half the nasty shit I think about doing to ya every goddamn day, it ain’t right.”

“Is that so? Well, you could always show me,” you answered with a wink. 

Joel reached up and sunk his fingers into your hair, pulling lightly on the strands as he angled your face so that he could crash his lips into yours. A pleased hum slipped from your mouth, allowing him an opening to slip his tongue in and tangle it with yours. With gentle hands, he drew soft circles into the hinge of your jaw, coaxing it open wider so that he could feed you more of him. You tasted faintly of the cigarettes you had helped him smoke back at the barn, along with the slight hint of something sweet, something so indescribably you that drove him wild. 

The world fell away as Joel kissed you, all of his focus on the goddess on top of him who he had devoted his life to. He tried to take it slow, wanting to keep his cool for the time being so that he could show you just how much he cared. Nevertheless, when you began to rock your hips, forcing a harsh growl from him that rumbled from deep within his chest, his patience snapped. 

“Fuck’s sake honey,” Joel panted as he broke away, surprised out how quickly you were riling him up. 

“Maybe we should move this to the bedroom?,” you suggested, continuing the filthy grind that made his head spin. 

He nodded along, willing to do whatever it was you wanted so that he could get himself back between your thighs. Joel watched you stand from the bathtub, skin glistening like it was embedded with diamonds, and felt his heart stutter. Although he was aware of your recent struggles with your body image, the changes had only made him more ravenous. The thin stretch marks along your tummy and hips were so kissable, and his mouth watered at the new layer of plushness that your curves had been endowed with. It drove him crazy that you didn’t see yourself the way he did. While you saw all of the changes that came from birthing two pups as ruinous, all he saw was beauty and a strength that he could never possibly possess. 

“Baby you’re fucking gorgeous, you look like a goddamn angel,” Joel sighed. 

A hand was held out to him and he took it, entranced by your figure as he allowed himself to be dragged from the water. Joel stumbled out of the bathtub, too drunk off the masterpiece in front of him to notice how you laughed at his shaky limbs. He was so out of it that he didn’t even move to grab his towel when you started drying off, standing there with stars in his eyes as he watched you run the thick fabric over every inch of your body. What I would give to be that towel, he thought to himself, trying to keep himself from rushing over there and licking each bead of moisture off with his tongue. By that point, his cock was standing at full attention, throbbing with each heavy thump of his heart until he couldn’t take it anymore. 

Joel was dripping wet, soaking the tiles with each step he made towards you, but he didn’t give a shit. What he needed to do was pour every bit of his mutilated soul into you, to show you just how much you meant to him the only way he knew how. A gasp escaped you when he yanked you forward, capturing your mouth in a searing kiss that had your legs shaking in seconds. He chuckled at your receptiveness, plucking you from the ground so he could wrap your legs around his waist. With his cock nestled in between your folds, he felt all of his previous worries float away, causing him to let out a feral growl as he stomped out of the bathroom. A shriek came from you when he abruptly launched you onto the mattress, which melted into a high pitched squeal as he grabbed your ankles and yanked you towards the edge. 

“Oh sweetheart, you’re a goddamn dream,” he moaned, falling to his knees so he could cover the thickness of your thighs with a smattering of sweet kisses. 

“S-So are y - oh!,” you squeaked, eyes rolling into the back of your head when he suddenly latched onto your pulsing clit. 

Joel wasted no time sucking the bud into his mouth, his hips twitching at the way you pulled at his curls and writhed against the sheets. Slick gushed onto his face and he happily licked it up, teasing your folds with his tongue until you were clutching the sheets. He loved to work you up, to drink up every bit of that precious nectar that leaked out of your hole until you begged him to fuck you. He switched between your clit and your entrance each time he felt you get close, keeping you right on the edge but refusing to let you have it until you screamed. 

Usually, you were putty in Joel’s hands like this, folding to his desires in a way that was oh so sweet. The trust you had in him was something that he would cherish until the end of time. He knew that you had faith in the fact that no matter how frustrating his teasing may be, his only goal was to drown you in an ocean of mind numbing pleasure. Which was why Joel was surprised when he felt you yank his head away from your soaking pussy, forcing a distressed squawk from his throat as you aggressively hauled him up onto the bed. 

“Honey, what the hell are y- oompfh,” he was cut off, shocked by his omega’s strength when he was suddenly thrown onto his back like a ragdoll. 

“Do you think that you can just tease me like that? That I won’t do anything?,” you hissed as you clambered over him. 

The tone you used with him had Joel widening his eyes in surprise, his cock throbbing at your sudden shift in demeanor. He shook his head, knowing that if he tried to speak all that would come out would be a needy whine. Although you didn’t take control often, preferring to let him have his way with you, Joel loved it when you did. So much so that he could never keep it together for very long. Already, he felt his knot beginning to puff up around the base of his cock and he prayed like hell that you would do something before he came untouched. 

“Words Joel,” you chided, bringing back down to earth. 

He moaned, “No baby, I don’t - shit - I don’t think that.” 

“Hmmm… I don’t know if I believe you.”

Before Joel could respond, you were already gone, shimmying down his body to place yourself at eye level with his cock. He wanted to admonish you, to demand that he be the one to tear pleasure from the other until they screamed, but he couldn’t. Not when you were leaning forward, giving him one last devious grin before your tongue drew a lazy line from root to tip. A loud groan burst from his lips, echoing throughout the empty house as you took the hint and sucked more of him into your mouth. 

“Honey, y-you don’t have to, I don’t need you t- oooh fuck,” he gasped, too dazed to do anything other than watch as you took him halfway down your throat. 

A few stray tears sprang from your eyes, wiped up by the pads of Joel’s fingers before he gathered your hair into a makeshift ponytail. He didn’t yank on the strands as he usually would, preferring to respectfully keep them away from your face as you slobbered up and down his throbbing length. Another desperate whimper spilled from his mouth as he locked eyes with you and he could already feel himself racing towards his end, but he tried his best to resist it. Joel wanted, scratch that, he needed to be inside of you first. 

“F-Fucking shit baby, you gotta stop that or m’gonna cum,” he grunted, “Don’t wanna cum like this, please I need - ungh.”

The hold Joel had on your hair tightened and he nearly convulsed at the way you easily swallowed him all the way down. He felt your throat contract once, then twice, dutifully swallowing around him to keep yourself from gagging at the size. A fire stirred in his belly, his cock throbbing wildly in your throat as one of your hands crept down to his balls and rolled them between your capable fingers. Sparks of pleasure ran up and down his spine, the muscles in his abdomen tensing each time your moans vibrated around his length. 

“Please,” Joel panted, his heart pounding as he tried to fend off his incoming release. 

Joel’s cock gave one big twitch, signaling that he was right at the precipice and he cursed himself for not being able to stop it. He let out a frustrated growl, resigning himself to cumming down your throat when he felt his balls begin to draw upwards. But just when he was about to explode, you pulled back, leaving his wet cock to throb angrily against his belly. 

“W-What the fuck? Why?,” Joel stammered, propping himself up on his elbows so he could glare at you. 

“Patience babe, good things come to those who wait… No pun intended,” you giggled, biting the inside of his thigh so hard that he jumped. 

“But I -”

“- What you need right now is to get out of your own head,” you chided, just the sound of your voice almost making him blow his load again, “It’s my turn to take care of you daddy, why don’t you let me? I promise that I’ll make it worth your while.” 

Joel harrumphed but nodded, begrudgingly accepting his fate as you plucked his aching cock from his stomach and swallowed him back down. This time you upped the ante, reaching down to give him a show as you circled your clit and moaned around his length. The vibrations of it were already enough to send him to those pearly gates, but when you pulled your fingers away from your pussy, shoving them into his open mouth so that he could taste your sweet slick, he almost levitated off the bed. 

Muffled whimpers came from him as he sucked at your fingers, his thighs shaking from the tidal wave of pleasure building up inside of him. Joel was torn, it was too much, it wasn’t enough. He needed to feel you as close as he possibly could, to taste your lips as he pounded into your soaked cunt, but he also needed to cum so badly that it hurt. Which was a task that you had made it your mission to thwart, as he soon found himself close to tears when you ruthlessly pulled away once more. 

“Jesus fucking Christ, are you serious? What the fuck are you trying to do to me?,” Joel hissed, frustrated at how the muscles in his lower abdomen burned while precum poured from his pulsating cock. 

“That doesn’t sound like a please,” you tsked, reaching forward to lazily stroke him. 

Joel growled, steadily losing patience as you continued to toy with him. The way you flicked your wrist with every stroke was mean, never once breaking eye contact as you milked him for all he’s worth. It was cruel and unusual punishment, you knew it and so did he, but that didn’t seem to matter to you. 

Although Joel had forty years of sexual experience under his belt, he found that it didn’t mean anything when it came to you. Soon after the first time the two of you had slept together, he remembered how taken aback he had been when he realized you actually cared about his pleasure as much as your own. He was so used to being a giver that he never once entertained the thought of receiving. Nevertheless, the attention you gave to his desires and needs served as yet another reminder of how much you loved him. 

Still, in that moment all Joel could feel was irritation. It didn’t matter that he had been fucking since before you were even alive, you could somehow make him cum at the drop of a hat. He found it incredibly embarrassing that he, a 56 year old man, could lose all of his inhibitions and turn into a quivering mess so easily, but he was completely powerless to your whims. 

“Shi-it, okay! Please baby, please let me cum,” Joel gritted out, willing to wave the white flag if it meant that you’d put him out of his misery. 

Sweat broke out on his forehead as you pretended to entertain the idea, continuing to work him into a frenzy with your hands in ways he would never be able to recreate on his own. Joel whined, thumping back against the bed so that he could tear at his own hair. He was about ready to call the whole thing off, to pull you from between his legs so that he could fuck you into oblivion for teasing him, but your soft voice stopped him. 

“One last time daddy, then I’ll let you have whatever you want,” you promised. 

Joel let out a heartbroken sound but surrendered, clenching his teeth when he felt you take him into your mouth. He hissed when you started to play with his balls, the heavy sack filled with cum and ready to explode down your throat at a moment's notice. But it was when your other hand began to wander that his eyes snapped open, shakily lifting himself onto his elbows so he could peer down just in time to watch as you snuck a finger between his cheeks. He choked when you pulled back to wet your fingers between your legs, lubing them up with slick before you returned to press them into the tight ring of muscle. 

“Sweetheart I - ohmyfuckinggod - ha, shi-it,” Joel gasped, falling back against the bed as your finger brushed up against something that made his vision blur. 

The last time you had done this to him, Joel had been surprised at how good it had felt, but this time was different. This time you had found something inside him that lit his nerve endings up like a Christmas tree. Lifetimes ago, he had read about the joys of having your prostate stimulated by a partner in one of the many copies of Cosmopolitan that his dentist’s office had. It had interested him, but he was too scared to bring it up to even the most loyal of his many booty calls. He couldn’t even find it in himself to try it alone. 

Not once had Joel dipped into that side of his sexuality before you, too used to being in charge of everything to be comfortable enough to let someone see him in a more vulnerable state. But you were different, you were his mate, which meant that he had nothing to be ashamed of. Deep down, he knew that there was a kinkier side of you that wanted to hear his pleasure induced screams just as much as he wanted to hear yours. And based on the way his whole body locked up when your finger started to rub at that devastating spot, as if it was gearing up for the most powerful orgasm of his entire life, you were well on your way to getting what you wanted. 

Sharp zaps of white hot pleasure ping ponged back and forth between his cock and his prostate, making him thrash uncontrollably against the mattress. His ears rang, vision spotted as he raced towards the finish line faster than he ever had. Joel could hear himself babbling, begging through a strained voice as you tore him to pieces, but he had no idea what he was saying. All he knew for sure was that if you didn’t let him cum this time, he was going to start crying. 

“P-Please baby! Fuck, I’ll do anything darling just PLEASE! Wanna cum in that pretty pussy, I don’t care - oh shit - don’t care if s’not safe. Need to shove my knot inside, need to fill you up with me, g-gonna fill you up until it fucking takes again, yes, yes, yes,” Joel rambled, unable to censor his thoughts with how close he was.  

Realistically, Joel knew that it was stupid to do something like that, but he had also known it was stupid thing to do the first time around. He couldn’t help himself, your pussy was too tight and warm, too inviting for a filthy old man like him that dreamed of nothing but burying himself between your thighs. And you were no better, moaning around the cock in your mouth as you squeezed your thighs together at the thought of him cumming inside. Maybe it was stupid, but in that moment Joel couldn’t find it in himself to give a fuck. The muscles in his tummy tightened once more, causing him to release a series of strangled groans while his cock ached for a release. 

Joel tried everything. He first tried bargaining with you, offering to eat you out until the morning came if you brought him over the edge just once. When that didn’t work, the demands came, where he attempted to bark orders at you through his clenched teeth. However, his breathless demands fell on deaf ears, causing him to finally revert back to begging. With his face flushed and sweat sticking to every inch of his skin, Joel was a disaster, thrashing in your hold like a wild animal as he whined. It got to the point that you had to pinch the inside of his thigh two times, a silent reminder for him to cool it before he accidentally bucked you off the mattress. 

“Please, I’ll be good,” Joel whimpered as he reached the edge, staring out at an ocean of pleasure for just a moment before you halted his fall. 

The tears came immediately, dripping unabashedly down his cheeks and staining the sheets below. Joel tried to stop it but the tears just kept coming. His breaths came out shaky and uneven, despite his best attempts to calm himself and he suddenly felt so humiliated that he couldn’t stay level headed. He wanted to keep it cool, to allow you to continue your little game without letting himself shatter into a million pieces. That was what was fair, especially given the fact that he had made you cry from his own teasing too many times to count. But instead of remaining calm, he let out a surprisingly high pitched whimper, which opened the floodgates for the heaving sob that came afterwards. 

“Oh my god, Joel?! Fuck! Are you okay? Did I hurt you?,” you questioned him, the fear evident in your voice. 

Joel couldn’t answer, too busy holding his breath in an attempt to keep his crying to a minimum. He didn’t even know why he was crying. Nothing hurt and despite his frustrations, he had actually enjoyed your teasing, but for some reason he couldn’t stop the flow. He needed something tangible to cut through the vulnerability, something that could ground him a bit so that he could stay in his body. And the second you heard the choked sound he let out when he tried to ask for it, you clambered back into his lap, taking his face in your hands so that you could examine him. Joel shook his head at your concern, unable to explain himself but trying to convey that he was alright, that this would pass. 

“Oh alpha,” you cooed, placing a soft kiss on his forehead that made him cry harder. 

“I-I’m fine,” Joel sniffed, yanking you closer despite the claim. 

Joel wasn’t lying, he was fine, sort of. He had let you take him apart, piece by piece, which left him incredibly vulnerable. That kind of vulnerability only came with a deep trust, one that had placed him in just the right headspace to release all kinds of embarrassing sounds and emotions. He had done the same for you many times, but having it done back to him was as breathtaking as it was overwhelming.

 Never in his life had Joel felt so fragile yet so protected, giving himself over to you so that you could wring out as much pleasure as humanly possible. At any other time in his life, this would not have happened. He wouldn’t have let it. But at that moment, as he laid weeping in bed with his naked mate in his lap, it was time for him to let go. 

“M’not hurt, I liked it baby,” Joel promised with tears still rolling down his face, “Please, I want it, want you so bad. Don’t make me wait honey, I can’t take it no more.” 

“Shh Joel, it’s okay. I’m not gonna make you wait again, I promise. You’ve been so good for me baby,” you soothed, lining yourself up and sinking down on his cock with a heavy sigh. 

The feeling of your warmth enveloping him nearly sent Joel flying, but he managed to hold on. He gripped the fat of your hips so hard that purple marks bloomed beneath his fingertips, moaning wantonly when you started to bounce up and down his length. Every bit of you was on display for him; the leaking tits that bounced with every move, the tummy he loved to leave bite marks all over, the drenched pussy that leaked slick onto his thighs. It was shameless, it was incredibly erotic, and it was driving him crazy. He wasn’t even sure where to look, every bit of you was better than any cheesy porno he had ever seen in his life. 

“Jesus fucking Christ - oo-ooh shit - sweet girl, my girl, mine, mine, mine,” Joel chanted, starting to lift his hips to meet your thrusts. 

“Yours, m’always yours Joel. Fuck, please,” you whined, limbs starting to shake as your pace began to falter.  

That whine flipped a switch in Joel’s brain, stirring up something dark and primal inside of him that could only be satiated by pleasing you. One needy sound from his omega and he was done playing around, the alpha in him rearing up to do his duty regardless of whatever schemes you had thought of. In a blink of an eye, he had thrown you off of him, uncaring of your pathetic whimpers as you bounced against the bed. Before you even had a chance to argue with him, he flipped you onto your stomach, slapping your ass so hard that the sound of it bounced off of the walls. 

A garbled moan came from you while Joel soothed the red mark with his gun calloused hands, causing him to suck his teeth in frustration at how close he was to exploding from just the act of spanking you. It was your fault he was like this, all riled up and no place to go unless he wanted it to end way too quickly. And he made sure you felt his frustration, raining down a flurry of ruthless blows to both sides of your ass that had you squealing into the sheets. 

“Think it’s funny to play with daddy like that?,” he sneered, another heavy crack landing against your upper thigh, “Does my little slut need attention that badly? Can’t go two fucking hours without me fucking that drippy little pussy, hm? Maybe I’ll make you wait for it too, what do you think honey?”

“NO!,” you exclaimed, wiggling against his hold on your hips in frustration. 

Another round of spanks landed against your backside, harsh enough that you cried out and stilled your jerky movements. Joel cooed when he heard a sniffle, leaning forward to place a kiss against your spine as he continued his careful caresses against your reddened cheeks. He knew that the roughness of his hands likely made it more jarring than comforting, but if the slick leaking from between your legs was any indicator; you were enjoying it as much as he was. 

“Oh honey, look at how drenched she is,” Joel chuckled, launching himself forward so that he could place a fleeting peck against your swollen folds, “And so fucking sweet, shame that you were such a bad girl. Woulda loved to give her a proper kiss.” 

That seemed to piss you off, the angry snarl you let out making him chuckle. 

“Come on Joel, I was just having fun. It’s not like you don’t do the same shit to me when you - oh shi-it,” another slap caught you off guard, this one landing right over your twitching core. 

Joel hummed, “You’re right darling, I did enjoy it, but that doesn’t mean that I’m gonna let ya get away with it. Can’t spoil this slutty little pussy of yours too much sweet girl, need you to stay good for me.”

Before you could answer, Joel lifted your hips upwards, smirking at how quickly you arched your back and presented yourself to him. He kissed your shoulder and whispered his thanks, the soft look you gave him over your shoulder causing his heart to flutter. He shook his head, trying to get himself back into the right headspace before he broke and decided he needed to make love rather than fuck the shit out of you. That’s not what you wanted, he could see it in the way you impatiently wiggled your ass back against him, which meant he had to get it together. 

“I don’t think she deserves that just yet,” Joel snipped, halting your desperate movements against his throbbing length. 

With both hands, he pulled your cheeks apart, letting a glob of spit to fall from his mouth onto your asshole. Joel grinned as he watched the tight ring of muscle gleam at him, deciding right then and there that it was time to get payback in every sense of the word. He pressed his index finger against it, getting nothing but a shiver from you until he slid two fingers inside. It was a brutal stretch, he could tell with the way you suddenly tensed and inched away from him, but he refused to allow you to stray too far. Instead, Joel reached down and rubbed circles over your clit, easing the tension from your body with each swipe over the bud. 

“Daddy,” you mewled, more slick coming to stain the bed sheets as his fingers began to thrust in and out of your asshole. 

“That’s it, be a good girl and take my fingers in that perfect little ass. Can’t you hear how soaked that filthy cunt of yours is? She doesn’t even care which hole I fuck, does she? Bet I could just use her to get my cock all nice and wet before I ruin your tight fucking ass every single day. You’d like that, wouldn’t ya darling?,” he rambled. 

The choked whimper you let out was music to Joel’s ears and he wanted nothing more than to hear it again. He simply couldn’t help himself, dripping another wad of spit around his digits so he could slide a third finger in. With one hand providing constant attention to your clit and the other filling your ass, he had no choice but to blanket himself over your trembling figure to keep you jerking away from him and the result was filthy. The heat that gathered between your naked bodies was stifling, a layer of sweat forming over every inch of skin as he fucked his fingers in and out, over and over. Joel leaned into your ear, whispering the most depraved things he could think of until your core began to lock up, squeezing his fingers as you neared your end. 

The kind thing for him to do was to let you cum. However, after remembering your harsh treatment towards him, Joel pulled away just before you could and laughed at the distressed cry you let out. 

“Not so funny now, is it you little shit?,” Joel teased.  

“N-No, it’s not,” you stuttered around heaving breaths. 

He laughed again, rubbing soothing circles into your sides as you came down from your almost orgasm. 

“Well, luckily for you my sweet girl, daddy isn’t quite as mean as you. Which means, all you gotta do is tell me what you want,” Joel promised. 

What Joel proposed was a simple request, but you both knew it was a trap. Sure, he wasn’t a complete liar. He would honor his promise and do whatever it was you wanted if you asked. But that was the issue, the if, as you knew that he was about to make it unnecessarily difficult. Just as you began to speak, he wrenched your cheeks apart with both hands, blowing cool air over your winking holes so that he could watch as you trembled and whined. 

Joel chuckled, “M’waiting darling, anything you could dream of, all ya gotta do is tell daddy.”

A muffled response came from you, one that was spoken so softly that he could barely hear a word of it. All Joel could make out was a quiet please and his own name sandwiched in between the near silent request. With no other choice, he reared up and spanked you once more, forcing a strangled shriek from you that made him squeeze the base of his cock to stave off his own orgasm. 

“Daddy can’t hear a word you’re saying baby, better be a good girl and speak up or else he’ll just have to keep spanking ya,” he chided, sounding almost bored as he let loose another few slaps. 

“Ungh, please, please no more. I-I’ll be good for you daddy, so good, just please,” you tearfully begged, the pain in your voice enough to break his heart. 

Joel made a sympathetic noise, switching gears in an instant at the first sign of your limits being reached. With careful hands, he flipped you onto your back, his eyes raking over your quivering form for any sign of harm that he might have inflicted, but there was none. Instead, all he saw was a glassy eyed omega with bitten lips who stared up at him like he was some sort of sex god. He felt almost bashful at how reverently you gazed upon him, which caused him to forget himself and launch forward, blanketing himself over you so that he could bump his nose against yours. 

“You okay honey? Was I being too rough on ya?,” Joel checked in, fearful that he might have gone overboard with the spanking. 

You shook your wobbly head, “N-No daddy, I liked it. I just want more, want you to…” 

As you trailed off, you looked away from him, embarrassment written all over your face. Joel was dumbfounded, wondering how you could possibly feel too shy to ask him for something when he had been the one that sucked the milk from your breasts as he fucked you just hours before. Not only that, he had just allowed you to finger his asshole, an activity that most alphas his age would shy away from. If Joel was willing to do all of that and still feel comfortable enough to look you in the eye, he couldn’t even imagine what it was that had you so worked up. 

“Y’want me to what? What is it sweet girl? C’mon, you can tell me, there’s no need to be embarrassed. It’s only us in the room right now honey and I’m ain’t gonna judge ya,” Joel promised, coddling you with soft caresses as he did. 

Another beat passed, one that consisted of Joel watching as the cogs in your brain worked themselves into a frenzy. He saw it the second you decided to tell him, sighing in defeat as you decided that the benefits of telling him greatly outweighted the risks. Nevertheless, nothing could have prepared him for what came tumbling out of your mouth. 

“I want you to fuck my ass Joel, right here, right now. Nobody has ever done it before, which I suppose is obvious since I’ve only ever been with you, but I want you to do it.” 

Joel was pretty sure that he had just died and moved on to the next life. This had to be heaven… right? There was no way that you had just asked him to fuck you in the ass, he refused to allow himself to believe it. It had to be his mind playing tricks on him, the damned thing probably finally giving out on him after decades of countless concussions. There was no way that his sweet girl, the woman whose face was branded on the insides of his eyelids, would grant him such a treat. If that had been the case, hell must have frozen over, as there was no way that someone like Joel could be so lucky.  

“C-Could you say that one more time for me sweetheart? My ears ain’t what they used to be, but I could’ve sworn that I just heard you say -”

“That I wanted you to shove your big ass dick into my ass and fuck me,” you finished for him with a determined nod, “Yes, that is correct.” 

Joel groaned a low and pained holy fucking shit, all of his previous worries about cumming too quick subsequently coming back with a vengeance. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been given the chance to do this with a partner and he felt a sort of giddiness bubble up inside of him. Everytime Joel fantasized about anything sexual, it was you he imagined, which meant that he had daydreamed about this more than he would like to admit. However, just like the desires he had been hiding surrounding your breastmilk, he had been too nervous to bring it up. 

Exploring the joys of anal was not something you just brought up at the dinner table. Plus, Joel didn’t think it was appropriate for him to ask you for it outright. He didn’t want to make you feel like you had to do something purely for his own enjoyment, he wanted sex to be fun for you, not like some sort of chore meant for only his pleasure. 

“Baby, are you sure? I mean, there’s nothing I’d love more than to - Chist - I can’t even say it or else m’gonna fucking cum. Ya gotta tell me right now if this is whatcha want before I lose it honey, please,” Joel begged, already beginning to feel his resolve slip as he spread some of your slick to your ass. 

“Please Joel,” you keened, hips already jumping with pleasure as he slid three fingers back into the tight ring of muscle. 

“Okay darling, just be good and let daddy finish getting you ready, m’kay? If we’re gonna do this, we’re gonna do it right,” he soothed, getting a jerky nod from you in response. 

With your heady gaze upon him, Joel lowered himself so that he was face to face with your sopping cunt. He licked a broad stripe up your slit, groaning at the taste as he started to devour you. It was messy as he fucked his tongue in and out of your pussy, keeping it in time with the brutal strokes inside of your ass, and he could tell you loved it. His tongue tickled the inside of your walls, his strong nose bumping against your sensitive clit in a way that had you shaking against the mattress. Fingers slid into his hair, pulling at the curls with abandon as you reached the level of no return, which he took as a sign to slide in a final fourth finger. You gasped, mouth opening and closing like a fish as you panted, whining that you were close as Joel continued to tear pleasure from your core. 

“J-Joel, I’m - ha, ohmygod - m’close. So close, fuck,” you whimpered, heels digging into his back as you bucked up into his mouth.  

Joel didn’t say anything, instead he doubled down on the stronghold he had on your hips, continuing to reach parts of your body that had yet to be discovered as you barreled towards an end. A shrill cry fell from your lips, accompanied by a litany of colorful swears that would make a nun blush. He smiled against your folds as he felt your cunt clench around his tongue, bathing his face with juices as you came. He continued on, wringing out as much pleasure as he could until your body started to shake from overstimulation, and then he finally pulled away. 

“Fuck me Joel,” you laughed breathlessly, trying and failing to calm your racing heart as he carefully pulled his fingers out. 

“Oh, I intend to sweetheart,” Joel joked, reaching down to pump himself a few times before he draped himself over you. 

He slid his length back and forth a few times, collecting as much slick as he could to ease the potential sting of pushing himself inside. Luckily for Joel, you were drenched, meaning that he only had to make a few passes for his dick to be covered. He smoothed it all the way down his length, biting his lip at the feeling and praying he could hold out. When Joel was sufficiently soaked, he lined himself up with your tight hole, trying to control his breathing before he keeled over. But just as he was about to push in, you grabbed his face, forcing his gaze back towards you with shaking hands. 

“Be gentle please,” you whispered, eyes round with fear as you looked at him. 

Joel cooed and dropped down to his elbows, caging you in to quell your rising anxiety. You had once told him that he was like the perfect weighted blanket when he slept on top of you, and he had used that to his advantage ever since. The heat and pressure of Joel’s body overtop of yours seemed to cast off any bad thoughts every time, and he smiled as you soon melted back into the mattress. He brushed the hair from your eyes and placed a smattering of kisses all over your face, ending it with one last big smooch that made you giggle. 

“I’ll be gentle honey, I promise. The last thing I want to do is hurt ya,” he vowed, keeping his eyes on you as he lined up again, “Just tell me if you wanna stop and I will, no questions asked. M’gonna take care of ya sweet girl, I swear.” 

You nodded and bit your lip, giving Joel the green light that he needed to press against the ring of muscle with a bit more insistence. The head of his cock popped in, forcing a stuttered moan from his lips and a needy whine from yours. He stayed like that for a while, waiting for your body to relax until he pushed any further. It took a couple of deep breaths, with Joel whispering soft encouragements and rubbing your clit, but you slowly relaxed enough for him to push forward. He buried his cock inside, stretching you until the halfway mark caused a pained hiss to tumble from your slackened jaw. 

“Y’alright babygirl? Need me to pull out?,” Joel asked through heaving breaths.

Joel prayed that you would refuse so that he could continue to explore the incredible tightness surrounding his length. However, he also wanted you to like it as much as he did. If you hated it, Joel really didn’t see the point of trying. Sex for him was a two person act where the performers complimented one another with each practiced step. It was not an act where one of the performers ruthlessly dominated the other regardless of their own personal desires, it was an art that stemmed from mutual devotion. 

“Mmmm, d-don’t pull out, love it, love your cock, love you. I n-need uh, f-fuck, I need um,” you cut yourself off with a heart broken wail, too cockdrunk to answer any more questions. 

He cooed, “S’alright honey, I gotcha. Daddy knows just what you need, sweet girl.” 

Joel reached down to circle your clit once more, grinning at the way you let out a contented sigh and relaxed. He kept on like that as he worked his way in, rubbing quick little circles into your clit each time he felt you tense up, until he at last felt his hips meet the cradle of your own. With all of his throbbing length locked deep inside, being strangled by the heat that already had him biting at the scars on the insides of cheeks, he knew that he was well on his way towards what would be a devastating orgasm. But he shoved all of that away for now, focusing instead on stroking that throbbing bud at the apex of your thighs until he heard you call out his name. 

“Jooeeel fuck, please do something. I’m so - SHIT - so close already,” you admitted pitifully, lighting a fire under his ass that jump started his thrusts. 

The pace was gentle at first, careful strokes in and out so that Joel could get a feel for where your limits were. But when he felt you pull at the curls on the back of his head, a frustrated cry echoing throughout the room as you tried to weakly fuck yourself down on his length, he knew that he had to up the ante. He buried his face into the crook of your neck, biting down on the gland to quell your cries as he shoved two of his fingers into your neglected pussy. Joel moved his fingers in time with his thrusts, pressing his thumb down against your clit hard so that he could feel you clench around him. It made him hiss and moan, his cock throbbing against your tight walls as he drove into both of your holes even harder. 

“Yeah baby? Right there huh?,” Joel teased, picking up the pace a bit when another surge of slick bathed his fingers, dripping down to the crease of your ass to help ease the glide. 

A howl came from you when Joel lifted a leg onto his shoulder, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as he slid even deeper than before. He swore, his breaths fanning out across your heated skin as he lost every bit of self control. He couldn’t help himself, especially not when your nails were tearing at his back as he slammed himself in and out. You were so tight, clenching down on his cock so hard when he slid a fourth finger inside of your sopping cunt that it almost hurt. 

“F-Full, m’so full, shi-it,” you squeaked, eyes glazed over as he pounded into you. 

“Course ya are darling, remember what I said after I started fucking this tight pussy? I told ya that I’d ruin you for anyone else. Did ya think I was joking?,” he reminded you, chuckling at your garbled sob when he brought your other leg up to rest on the opposite shoulder, “Aw baby, don’t cry. Look how well you take it, s’like every hole was meant for me.” 

“M-Meant for you, fuu-uck ngh, all for you,” you echoed, too out of it to do anything other than repeat his words back to him. 

Joel leaned forward, folding you in half so that your knees were almost up to your ears as he pressed his lips into yours. He chuckled at how uncoordinated it was, all tongue and teeth as he continued to pound into you at an unforgivable pace. It was only when he broke away, lifting himself from the bed so that he could get a better look at your trembling form, that he understood the extent of the damage. 

With your hair spread out against the pillows, you could have easily been mistaken for a fallen angel, like something out of a storybook about fairies and nymphs. The exception being the way Joel’s cock was thrusting in and out of your asshole, the skin around it taut with the enormity of the stretch. There was no way that he wouldn’t leave you gaping when he pulled out and the thought of that was enough to throw him off of his rhythm for a few thrusts before he got himself under control. Your pussy leaked steadily onto his cock, dripping down the heavy sack that thwapped against your backside with each thrust. 

The way you looked up at him; so full of love, lust, and devotion, almost made Joel pass out. He couldn’t figure out which was more tantalizing to look at, your overstretched holes or the way you bit your lip as you eye fucked him into another dimension. Either way, he was doomed, as he could feel himself barreling towards the end. 

“Christ darling, are you close? I - oh shit - that’s it baby, good fucking girl,” Joel grunted, his thrusts getting faster as your hips moved to greedily meet his each time. 

“Close, so close daddy. I need, I just need,” you huffed, fingernails digging into his shoulders until beads of blood ran down his back. 

“What? What d’ya need babygirl? My girl, my love, my - fuck mmpfh - tell me. Please, I need to - ungh, god - I need to know darling,” Joel hissed, the angry lines across his shoulders and back stinging so deliciously that he almost broke.  

“You.” 

And who was Joel to say no to such a flattering request? Butterflies erupted from his belly, only worsening the flames that licked at his spine as he leaned forward once more to claim your mouth with his. His pace never faltered, continuing to pound into your tight hole with all of his might while his fingers reached that spongy spot deep inside of your pussy that made it gush. 

Joel felt your walls begin to tighten up even more, your high pitched whimpers muffled against his lips as he tangled his tongue with yours. You were so close, but you needed one last push. So he pulled away, kissing down your neck with a mischievous grin. He halted at your chest and took one of your overly sensitive nipples into his mouth, teasing it with his teeth for a few breaths before he sucked hard, launching you into an earth shattering release.

“Yes, yes, yes, yes, FUCK! JOEL!,” you shrieked, bucking wildly as you gushed all over him. 

The force of your orgasm pushed his fingers from your core as you squirted, spraying so much slick that Joel kicked himself for not putting down a towel first. Nevertheless, he groaned as he felt your walls squeeze down on his cock with all their might, giving him no other option than to cum. He was careful not to shove his knot inside, overriding his pesky instincts in fear that the thick patch of skin at the base of his cock would tear you to pieces. Instead, he kept himself a few inches back, his chest heaving as a much needed release tore out of him. 

Joel’s vision went dark and he flopped down on top of you, groaning into your ear as he sprayed thick ropes of cum into your ass. Wave after wave of pleasure washed over the both of you, until your minds were emptied of everything except for the euphoria of being entangled with each other. Joel melted into your shaking form, uncaring of how heavy his body may be as he snuffled at your heaving breasts and scented along your bruised neck. 

The whimper Joel let out at the feeling of your fingers scratching at his scalp would have been embarrassing, had he not been so drunk off of you that he couldn’t even remember his own name. What was he supposed to do? Act tough? How was he supposed to do that when it took him nearly a whole three minutes to be able to see straight again? 

“Are you okay babe?,” you asked gruffly, voice still scratchy from the way you had sucked him into a frenzied state and then screamed in pleasure as he fucked you. 

Joel let out a breathy laugh, “Pretty sure that’s my line darling.” 

The giggle you gave forced Joel to pop his head up off your chest, just in time for him to catch the tail end of it with his heart filled eyes. He knew he should start cleaning up, perhaps even run another bath for you to ease any potential aches he may have caused, but he stayed still. He didn’t move to pull his cock out, too enamored with the way you smiled at him and how beautiful you looked in the post orgasmic haze that had settled over the quiet room. 

“Just figured I’d ask if you were okay considering the fact that you nearly had a stroke when I asked you to fuck me in the ass. You can’t fault me for making sure my old man doesn’t keel over anytime soon,” you joked, eyes twinkling with playfulness as you poked at his sides.

“Old man? Keel over?!,” he guffawed, “S’that right darling?” 

You nodded, “Yeah, but it’s okay. I think it’s very hot that you’re so much more experienced. It’s like you’re my teacher, the sexy kind.” 

Joel chuckled and shook his head, ignoring your quip so he could give you another, more meaningful kiss this time. As he allowed his lips to speak for him, pouring every loving compliment and faithful promise he had for you into the act, he slowly pulled his cock free. A small noise of protest was muffled against his mouth, but he worked his magic, slipping his tongue into the mix to distract you from the discomfort that came with his absence. When he was out, he pulled away and looked down, greedily taking in your gaping holes so that he could savor the moment, keeping the sight of you all fucked out locked away somewhere in his brain for a rainy day. 

“That is fucking sinful baby, fuck. I can’t believe how fucking gorgeous you look like this, I’m the luckiest man alive,” Joel praised, watching as a thick glob of cum slid from your asshole, all the way down to ruined sheets below. 

“Was it everything you dreamed of?,” you jested. 

The way you asked the question made it seem like a joke but Joel could sense a hint of self consciousness, as if you hadn’t just rocked his world and once again secured your place as the lead role of his wet dreams for the rest of his life. He was at a loss for words, unable to comprehend why you would think he would do anything other than grovel at your feet for all of eternity after you had let him do something so intimate. Nonetheless, he also knew how you often looked down on yourself. If there was one thing Joel hated, it was how kind you were to everyone except yourself, and he refused to let that ruin this perfect moment. 

“My girl, my sweet girl, of course it was. Felt so good,” Joel promised, pressing another kiss to your mouth to reinforce his words, “And fuck honey, you were so fucking sexy. I didn’t even know where to look, it was all so hot. You were like every fantasy I’ve ever had, come to life.” 

“Really?,” you gasped, the hopefulness in your expression making his heart sing. 

“Well baby, I only ever fantasize about you when I’m alone, so yeah. Everytime I’ve thought about fucking someone in the ass, it’s been your asshole I’ve dreamed about,” he joked. 

You cackled, “Okay, but why do I find that incredibly romantic?”

The ridiculousness of the statement was not lost on him, but it forced a round of raucous laughter from the both of you that echoed throughout the house. Joel laughed until his belly ached and his eyes were filled with tears, until he was sure he was going to be sick if he didn’t stop. After a few failed attempts, he finally calmed down and wiped the tears from his damp cheeks. When his face was free of tears, he gazed upon you, his soul ablaze with adoration at the dopey grin you sent his way. 

“And you honey? What did ya think? Was I too rough?,” Joel asked, almost nervous to hear your answer. 

Although Joel had been gentle at the beginning, he hadn’t been able to keep it together for very long. How could he? This was something so new for the both of you, so raunchy and erotic and loving all at once, that he was surprised he had lasted long enough to put it in. There were multiple points where he was sure he was going to explode, to ruin the moment with a premature orgasm splattered all over his hairy belly. But luckily, he had been able to hold off long enough to make you cum. However, Joel was no spring chicken, which meant that he also knew that cumming did not necessarily mean complete satisfaction. 

“I fucking loved it Joel,” you admitted, soothing his worries with a toothy grin, “I’ve never wanted to try that like… at all, but I don’t know babe. You just bring out the freaky side in me I guess. We should do that again sometime, or maybe I could do it to you.” 

Joel’s eyes widened at that, his mouth falling open in shock. One or two fingers was one thing, but the thought of you strapped up and fucking him in the ass was something else entirely. There were some logistics that would have to be worked out if you were being serious. Like, where the hell would he find a sex toy in a post-outbreak world? With all of the sleazy sex shops closed for good, it would likely take some time to find the right tools. Still, Joel was surprised at how intrigued he was, like all of his years of being strictly a giver suddenly meant nothing to him. His cock gave his interest away immediately, twitching hard against your thigh in response to the lewd offer. 

“Oh babe, he liked that hm?,” you teased, dousing the fire that had already begun to stir again with pure gasoline. 

“Fuck darling, don’t start,” he groaned, trying to keep his head straight so that he could focus on cleaning you up. 

Although Joel would love nothing more than to fuck you until the sun was high in the sky, he had to be realistic. There were two small humans that would need to be picked up in the morning and they never seemed to give a shit about how much sleep their parents had gotten the night before. The thought of having to deal with the twins after a sleepless night made him feel nauseous and he couldn’t imagine how much worse it would be for the woman who had to feed them. 

Nevertheless, when you reached down and roughly squeezed his still sensitive cock, circling the tip of it with your thumb, Joel’s resolve broke. Without another word, he lifted you from the bed, muttering curses under his breath as he carried you back towards the bathroom. 

“What are you doing?,” you laughed. 

“Gotta clean ya up again honey, then m’gonna fuck ya until you’re too exhausted to be such a fucking tease,” Joel grumbled, unleashing a harsh slap against your already bruised cheeks that had you keening into his ear. 

The laugh you let out when you caught your breath was weaker than the last, but it made it clear to Joel that he had his work cut out for him if he wanted to get a wink of sleep that night. 

“All I’m hearing is that you really want me to peg you babe and if that’s the case, I’m game. We’ll just have to figure out what to use I guess,” you sighed in fake contemplation. 

Joel rolled his eyes, “Oh believe me babygirl, we’re saving that for another day. But right now, I gotta remind you again why you don’t tease daddy. Seems like you didn’t pay too much attention the first time around.” 

With that Joel walked straight into the shower, ignoring how long it took for the water to heat up as he sheltered your body from the freezing pellets and pinned you to the wall. He bit at your neck and chest, already fully hard from your words alone. Maybe it would take him all night to fuck the attitude out of you, but as he felt your teeth dig into his shoulder and your fingers yank at his curls, he couldn’t remember why that had been a bad thing to begin with. 

The love marks that were scattered across your body tripled that night, with each round proving to be more devastating than the last. It was only when you had tearfully begged him to stop after your tenth orgasm, pussy clenching painfully hard around the knot that he had mindlessly slammed inside, that he had finally relented.  

Afterwards, Joel cleaned the cum sticking to the insides of your thighs and cooed at your soft whines of protest. In the comfort of the quiet room, he let himself give in to your all-encompassing presence. Sure, there would be questions about the missing men that were slated for trial in a few hours and sure, the fingers would likely be pointed at him, but he didn’t care. 

In that moment, all Joel cared about was holding you close, tangling his limbs with yours as he drifted off. The last thing he thought of before he let the abyss take him was the endless tomorrows that stretched out in front of him and how the future he had once dreamed of was well within his reach. With that comforting realization, Joel let himself go, snuggling closer to his favorite person as he finally allowed himself to rest. 

- You - 

The pounding was relentless, pulling you from the strangest of dreams where Ellis and Alba had suddenly grown into adults who no longer knew who you were. It had been quite jarring. When you had tearfully informed them that you were their mother, they had acted as if it meant nothing to them, like they had never known your love for them. It was an uncomfortable thought and it had you groggy as you lifted yourself from Joel’s chest so that you could look around, trying to pinpoint the noise that was growing steadily in volume with each passing moment. A familiar voice began to accompany the knocks, breaking you from the dream induced daze you were in, and you suddenly realized what was happening. 

“Joel, Joel wake up,” you hissed, shaking his shoulders until he groaned and blinked up at you.  

“Fucking hell baby, what?,” Joel asked in an exasperated tone, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he did. 

Another flurry of knocks to the front door answered him and you watched as the realization dawned upon him as well. Joel sat up from his place in the bed, sighing as he swung his legs over the side of it and stood up. Wringing your hands nervously, you followed close behind, mirroring his movements as he dressed in a pair of jeans and his rust colored henley. When you were done, you hovered as he put on his socks, too nervous to say anything or even breathe. 

“Hey now sweet girl, c’mere,” Joel cooed when he noticed you waiting for him by the door, biting your bottom lip so hard that blood dripped onto your chin. 

With the shakiest of limbs, you heeded his request, ignoring the way Tommy’s bellowing cut through the thick wood of the front door. When you reached him, Joel cupped your face and kissed you once, knocking his forehead against yours gently in an attempt to calm you down. 

Usually, such a simple gesture would have eased all of the stress from your strained muscles, but not this time. As you stood before him, dripping with a cold sweat and aggravated beyond belief, you felt like you were about to explode. It was as if someone had lit up all the nerve endings in your body and every touch from him only made them burn brighter. 

Something was wrong. You could feel it in the way your legs shook not from anxiety, but from a neediness that hailed from somewhere deep within. However, recognizing the symptoms of an ailment did not mean that you could reasonably determine the cause, and you were left wondering what the hell was happening as the youngest Miller beat your door down. 

“S’alright honey, I know this is gonna be scary for ya, but just remember that they don’t know anything. All they have is a burnt down barn and two suspects who weren’t seen by anyone in town. We just gotta stay quiet and stick to the story,” Joel reminded you. 

“Okay,” you whispered, “What’s the story though?”

He shrugged, “That we don’t know jackshit.” 

Joel placed one last kiss to your forehead before he opened the bedroom door, holding his hand out for you to take as he drifted into the hallway. He was so at ease with the situation that it only made you more nervous, like all of his nerves from the previous night had been transferred onto you and subsequently cranked to a thousand. You were slightly embarrassed at the state of you, especially since you weren’t exactly sure what was wrong. Sweat poured down your face and drenched your shirt, until the fabric was glued to your back. The muscles between your hips were clenched so tightly that they felt like they might tear apart if the pressure wasn’t released soon, but Joel was none the wiser. If anything, he only seemed more sure of himself, like he was thriving off of your sudden descent into madness. 

“Wait,” you called out when Joel reached the door, halting him in his tracks and forcing him to turn to face you. 

Despite the circumstance, you couldn’t help but notice how pretty your mate was with all of his best features lit up perfectly by the morning sun. Normally, a thought like that would have turned you into a sappy mess, but all you could feel was a burning desire. It was the type of desire that was slowly turning you into an absolute maniac when you needed to be cool. Trying to get it together, you shook yourself out of the haze, taking a breath so that you could say what you needed to say to him without begging him to fuck you right then and there. 

“I love you Joel, remember that and don’t forget about the twins, okay? They need their dad, so don’t go letting your temper get the best of you when they come in and start asking questions. We need to be smart about this,” you reminded him. 

He nodded, “I know honey, I’ve got this, don't you worry.” 

You should have left it at that gentle reminder, but the darkness had taken control, forcing you to grab his hand and squeeze it hard as you continued. 

“They can’t have you Joel, I won’t let them. I will tear out all of their throats with my bare hands if they try to take you from us. You are mine, not theirs,” you seethed. 

Joel cocked his head, his eyes running up and down your body with renewed interest. It lit your core on fire and your knees shook from his undivided attention. Craving Joel’s attention was nothing new, in fact you spent most of your days looking forward to the moment that his loving gaze fell upon you once more, but this felt different. That morning, it felt like you might die if he looked away from you, like you would walk across a pit of hot coals just to get him to glance in your direction. 

“Are you alright honey?,” Joel asked carefully, reaching forward to place the back of his hand against your sweaty forehead. 

Whatever Joel found, it made him grimace, but he quickly wiped the displeasure from his face away before you could react to it. Were you alright? That was the million dollar question. With an unenthusiastic shrug, you nodded, unsure of what it was he wanted you to say. Of course you weren’t alright, there were people in Jackson that were now sticking their noses where they didn’t belong. But aside from that glaring fact, you supposed that everything else was fine. There was no reason for it not to be. 

“Okay uh, I love you baby. Just stay close to me, okay? Might make this a bit easier for ya considering that you’re um… Yeah, anyways,” Joel cut himself off, turning back towards the door so that he could unlatch it. 

Before you had the chance to ask him what it was he was going to say, the door was thrown open, revealing the faces of more people than you had originally expected. Tommy and Maria were at the forefront of the group, but they had come with almost ten other souls trailing behind. Out of all of the faces that were amongst the crowd, the only other one you recognized was Cooper’s, who looked at you with thinly veiled pity and remorse. You wanted to ask him why he was gazing upon you with such compassion but you couldn’t, as Maria had already started talking. 

“Joel, we’re here to bring you in for some questioning. Could you please follow us downtown?,” Maria asked, her tone giving absolutely nothing away. 

“Questioning? About what?,” Joel shot back, causing her to suck her teeth while Tommy cussed and kicked the dirt beside her. 

“I think you know exactly what I’m talking about Joel but sure, let’s play pretend,” she jested, her voice laden with sarcasm, “Last night someone took two men, the same ones who abducted YOUR mate, from their cells. This morning, a patrol found a barn burned to the ground a few miles out with nothing left behind except some half smoked cigarettes and two burnt up bodies.” 

He shrugged, “Damn, that’s crazy, but I don’t know nothing about that shit.” 

With a sigh, Maria nodded to the people behind her and two of them came forward, yanking Joel from his place at your side so that they could drag him down the driveway. A storm brewed inside as you watched the situation unfold, one that you had not felt for some time, not even the night before when you had killed those two assholes. It was a dangerous feeling that you had first come to know when Joel had been taken by Paul’s men, one that you had used to sustain yourself during the dark period without him. And it had been revived once more, causing you to sprint towards the man closest to you to attack him with a flurry of scratches and bites. 

“Shit, what the hell?! Maria! Tommy! Jesus Christ, someone get this bitch off of me,” the man shouted, your fingernails scraping against his cornea in response. 

“NO!,” Joel roared and you heard a scuffle from somewhere behind you. 

Tommy pried you off of the stranger, his arms wrapped carefully around your midsection like he was trying his best not to harm you as he did. It was a kind gesture, especially with the countless punches you sent his way in response. Hissing threats and spitting at the large group, you fought back with every bit of strength you possessed. They would not take Joel from you like this, you wouldn’t allow it. At that moment, every fiber of your being screamed for his presence to remain at your side. An unsettling kind of desperation settled inside, fiercely calling out for him like he was the answer to all of the world’s problems. 

“I wil fucking kill you if you hurt him, do you hear me?! He is MINE! My alpha, my mate, not yours! Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you,” you screeched, growling at Tommy for restraining you, along with everyone else for being involved. 

“Are y’all fucking stupid? Look at her! She’s not gonna stop in the state she’s in, so you might as well let her go,” Joel argued, though when you tried to look for him in the crowd you could barely see him through the haze that clouded your vision. 

It was as if a film had settled over your eyes, shrouding your surroundings so that all you could focus on was Joel’s whereabouts. And at that moment, with him not placed directly in front of you, it was impossible to see anything. All you knew for sure was that he was not where he was supposed to be. A broken whine tumbled from your lips at that realization, which was answered by the infuriated growl of your mate who was restrained somewhere near the end of the driveway. Tears dripped down your face, a broken sob filling the air as you cried out for Joel. 

“Ew, what the fuck?,” Tommy groaned, gagging at how aggressively your scent was being pumped into the open air, your hormones working overtime to alert Joel of the discomfort you were feeling. 

“Let her go to him,” Maria relented, seemingly exhausted by the display in front of her already. 

After being unceremoniously dropped to the ground by the beta, you blindly scampered off in search of your alpha, going off of instinct alone to reach him. The second you found him, you felt a weight roll off your shoulders and the film over your eyes dissipated, leaving you with the most radiant sight of the man you loved. Joel’s nostrils flared as he looked down at you, his arms still restrained by the two men while his pupils grew larger by the second. He looked about as crazy as you felt and you answered his insanity with a tight hug, whimpering his name as you wrapped your arms around his soft midsection. 

A conversation was had behind you, one where all parties seemed as exasperated as they were pissed off. Joel allowed you to scent him as they debated, the only sign that he noticed your doting being when you suddenly chomped down on his gland. He hissed and shot you a look of warning, which you answered by cheekily laving your tongue over the indent you had left. It was meant to soothe the sting, but you couldn’t help the moan you let out as the taste of his delicious scent graced your tongue. For some reason, you couldn’t find it in yourself to be embarrassed at the public display of affection. The fire in your veins made it impossible for you to think about anything else except for him. 

“Well we can’t leave her here all alone. Look at them, they’ll both go fucking nuts! At this rate, we’re lucky if we get an hour of questioning in before it hits. Why don’t we just make do and stay here? S’not like either of them would make it very far,” Tommy argued, with a mix of murmured agreements and disagreements coming from all sides. 

“We could just say fuck it and let them both deal with it themselves. I mean, come on guys, who cares about a silly little heat? She could just go find some other alpha to keep her happy. And he’ll be locked up so the rut isn’t really an issue, is it?,” someone protested. 

“It’d be cruel to keep them apart,” Cooper responded softly.

When all the eyes turned towards him, you turned your head just in time to see him visibly shrink under the weight of their stares. A vibrant flush broke out along the tops of Cooper’s ears and you suddenly wished that your brain was functioning properly so that you could come to his defense. However, luckily for your best friend's introverted husband, Maria came to the rescue. 

“Mikey, that’s not how we do things. They are mates, which means she’s not going to want another alpha to, as you say, ‘keep her happy’. There’s no need to cause undue stress on an omega during such a vulnerable time,” Maria said, putting the matter to bed in an instant.

“She stays with me,” Joel declared abruptly, causing the rest of the group to face him. 

A beat of silence passed, one that made you so uneasy that you whined Joel’s name into his neck, wordlessly begging him to save you from a situation that you couldn’t fully wrap your brain around. The terror you felt at the thought of him being out of reach grew with each passing second, until you were practically hyperventilating as your fingernails scrabbled at his burly chest, like you were trying to carve out a space for yourself inside of him. 

“Easy there, pretty girl. I know you're feelin’ a bit antsy, but m’here” he murmured, turning his face so that he could speak directly into your ear, “I need you to take some deep breaths for me, okay? Everything is gonna be just fine honey, but ya gotta breathe.”

“But Joel -” 

“But nothing,” Joel snapped, his soft voice shifting into an authoritative snarl, “I need you to breathe omega. Take two deep breaths for me right now.” 

The command spoke to your soul, shutting off any higher thinking and leaving you with nothing but the desire to fulfill the request of your mate. While you tuned out the conversation behind you, gulping down the oxygen you had been unknowingly withholding, you focused on his proximity. Having Joel this close to you was nothing new, but in that moment it was like a shot of oxytocin straight to the heart, pumping throughout your body with every heavy thump. Despite the crowd, you wanted nothing more than to climb him like a tree and grind your hips down onto his cock until he fucked you, but you knew he’d just command you to behave. Until the group departed, you’d just have to settle on scenting him and whining in his ear. 

“Okay, we’ll do that then and it’ll just,” Maria sighed and shook her head, “It’ll have to do. We can figure out the rest if we need to later. For now, let him go guys. I really don’t want to see what happens if we don’t.” 

The second Joel was released, you felt his strong arms surrounding you, crushing you to his chest so hard that it left you breathless. Another cry came from your lips, except this one was out of relief rather than despair. His embrace was exactly what you needed to soothe the deep ache that had started between your legs and you clung to him fervently. However, the longer you stayed glued to Joel, the hotter you became, until the front of his jeans and henley were drenched in your sweat. 

You tried to remind yourself that there had been other instances where you had felt this way, instances that you had survived. Pushing through the fog that had settled over your mind, you scrolled through your memories, recalling the days spent locked inside of your childhood bedroom, crying out for a cure that would never come. Only once in your life had the prayers for reprieve been answered, when a ruggedly handsome alpha had found you in his bed, whimpering his name and humping his dirty clothes with abandon. That alpha had been merciful, soothing the deep ache with his powerful thrusts until it finally faded away. 

It was that specific memory that flipped a switch in your brain, forcing you to finally realize what was happening. The reality of the situation hit you square in the face, terror taking over as you silently begged any higher power that would listen to halt the progression of the heat that gathered in your core. This couldn’t be happening, it was too soon since having the twins. The doctor had given you a vague timeline at your last checkup, assuring you that although it was possible for omegas to start having heats again as soon as the second month after giving birth, most went heat-free until at least the fourth. With your breasts still swollen and your midsection finally free from the post-birth bloating, you tried not to cry. How could mother nature betray you so soon?

“Alpha,” you mewled, knees violently shaking with fear. 

“Hush now darling, s’okay, I gotcha. I ain’t going nowhere baby, I promise. We’re just gonna go inside and talk to these nice people in the living room, m’kay? Nothing is gonna happen to you omega, you’re safe with me,” Joel murmured, pressing his face into your skin to cover you in his scent. 

“No, no, no, no,” you sobbed, “Don’t want any strangers inside, just want you.” 

A grunt left his mouth when you suddenly leaped from the ground, climbing him so that you could hang off his neck like a monkey. Joel groaned in frustration but allowed it, wrapping your legs around his waist so that he could comfortably carry you around. The eyes on you two were abundant, especially since Joel was not typically known for any great displays of affection. Sure, he would hold your hand while strolling through the streets or press a chaste kiss to your cheek when you brought him lunch, but allowing you to wrap yourself around him like a python was new. Too embarrassed to look back at the plethora of Jackson residents that gawked at the display, you buried your flushed face into his chest and tried to focus on his comforting scent. 

“We should probably uh… Get on with it, or at least do them the decency of getting ‘em off the street. The looky-loos don’t need to be seeing this,” Tommy murmured to his mate. 

“I agree,” was all she said back to him. 

Joel sighed in relief, and although your brain was having trouble keeping up with the situation, his slight change in demeanor comforted you beyond belief. 

“Tommy and I will deal with this alone. The rest of you can go back to your posts. Even if something comes of this, I don’t think we’ll be able to do anything about it today, not until this passes at the very least,” Maria called to the crowd. 

With that, you heard them disperse, looking up only to catch a glimpse of Cooper staring hard at you clinging to Joel. It threw you off guard, as the alpha usually avoided eye contact with everyone other than Jake or his two daughters, but he was undeterred. His unwavering gaze didn’t scare you, nor did it feel pervasive in any way. Instead, it felt like he was simply trying to gauge your wellness, like he was trying to figure out a way that he could help the girl he had known since his twisted childhood. Although it was extremely confusing, as you couldn’t understand why he would feel such loyalty towards you when Jake was nowhere to be found, it was oddly comforting. After another few seconds of the impromptu staring contest, Cooper nodded, mouthing don’t worry at you before he turned to leave with the rest of the group. 

Confused by Cooper’s silent promise, you elected to ignore it and buried yourself back into Joel’s chest as he carried you inside to escape any of the crowd’s lingering stares. The second his feet crossed the threshold, a sense of peace washed over you, the home blanketing you in security despite the conversation that needed to be had. It was as if the home the two of you had built was a fortress, keeping you safe from any dangers, even if there were currently dangers following you inside. 

Joel veered off into the living room, whispering a soft plea for you to unwrap your legs so that he could sit semi-decently on the couch. It took a few tries, with you too stubborn to allow him such a luxury, but you eventually relented after another strict command hissed into your ear. He placed you on the cushion beside him, throwing himself down with a frustrated huff. 

Looking down, you could plainly see what was frustrating Joel. A prominent bulge stuck out from his lap, his cock straining against the zipper of his jeans with so much force that the first few metal teeth had come unzipped completely on their own. The tight squeeze had to be torturous for him, just as the drenched gusset of your panties were for you, but thankfully you were both cognitive enough to ignore the pain for now. For the time being, you soothed the sting by climbing into his lap, forcing him to hold you close rather than dutifully keeping the distance. 

“If you’re gonna sit like that, you gotta be good f’me babygirl,” Joel whispered in your ear, easing you off of the hard lump in his pants so that you could sit in between his legs. 

Based on the way Joel’s cock was fully erect and poking at your back, you knew that this was not a request, but an order from your alpha. With his little brother and sister in law in the room, the last thing he needed was you grinding up against him like a depraved whore. It was inappropriate, not to mention it would inevitably lead to his pesky instincts taking over, leaving him no other choice than to stake his claim over you regardless of the company. 

The thought of Joel slamming into you in front of a crowd was nerve racking, although it did send a thrill down your spine that ended with a sharp throb between your legs, but you shook it off. Now was not the time to test out an exhibition kink, now was time to sit silently and feign innocence. Which was why you nodded in agreement to Joel’s words, pulling his arms around you in an attempt to quell some of the heat induced mania. It didn’t work of course, but being surrounded by him at least made you feel a bit less vulnerable. 

“Talk,” Joel grunted, sending a shiver down your spine despite the fact that the command was not for you. 

Tommy scratched the back of his head, looking like he was ready to run out of the house screaming the second he saw his brother do something even remotely sexual in front of him. Even Maria, with all of her usual professionalism and unquestionable leadership skills, looked a bit green around the gills to be sitting across from mates who were about to dive headfirst into days of ravenous need. Nevertheless, she kept her cool, clearing her throat before she dove headfirst into the issue. 

“Look, how about we cut the crap? I don’t want to be here and this HAS to be uncomfortable for you two as well. Why don’t you just tell me what the fuck happened last night so that we can leave you to it for a couple of days, sound good?,” Maria bartered. 

“I already told ya, I don’t know anything about that. Last night we had a nice dinner, took a walk around town, then we came back and hit the hay. We’ve got two kids y’all, we’re fucking exhausted. So whatever happened, it don’t got nothing to do with us,” Joel reiterated. 

“Joel, we know that it was you. Who else would it fucking be?,” Tommy sighed, shaking his head at his brother’s excuse, “I just don’t get it. I mean, you just said it, you have two kids, so why the hell would you go after them? Especially when we already said that we would deal with it! What the fuck are we supposed to do now? You broke the goddamn rules, AGAIN!”  

Joel stayed silent, preferring to quietly glare at his brother for mentioning his children. You didn’t blame him, hearing the twins being brought up in the conversation had alarm bells going off in your head as well. The less refined part of your mind was in complete control at that moment, the effects of your heat mixing dangerously with your motherly instincts and slowly turning you into a beast. Joel must have sensed it, as he suddenly squeezed you back against his chest,using the warmth that radiated off of him to soothe your growing discontent. It worked, kind of, but it couldn’t stop the words that tumbled from your lips. 

“How do you know it was Joel? Maybe it was me,” you sassed, causing all eyes to turn towards you. 

The two betas looked at each other, then back at you, both of their reactions wildly different from the other. Tommy looked resigned, almost as if he had already guessed it was you that had been the culprit rather than Joel. That made you want to laugh, as you remembered how Joel had once confided that his brother found you particularly terrifying. Perhaps that could finally work in your favor. Meanwhile, Maria gazed upon you with interest, not completely accepting or rejecting the idea of your culpability. 

“If that were the case, I would say that it is a crime to murder another Jackson resident, even if they were already slated for execution. And I would also remind you before making that sort of confession, that you have two pups who haven’t been weaned yet,” Maria pointed out. 

Anger flared up inside of you, the smoke practically pouring from your ears at her words. Logically, you knew that Maria was just trying to be helpful, as two pups being torn from their mother while they were in need of breastmilk was no small thing. But wetnurses existed for a reason, which made her argument null and void. Given Maria’s previous distaste for your mate, all you could hear was that your life was worth more to her than Joel’s, that the jury was already out on him despite the lack of evidence. 

“So what? The pups can’t survive without their mom but they’ll be perfectly fine without their dad? Because I can tell you from personal experience, that’s not true. Do you really think I could do this without Joel? That I would even want to?,” you spat. 

“Well, I think -”

“I don’t give a flying fuck what you think. What Ellis and Alba need is both of us, not one or the other. And don’t kid yourself Maria, we all know you’re only accusing him because of the fucking grudge you have,” you hissed through a clenched jaw. 

Tommy jumped in, “Okay! How about we all take a deep breath before this gets out of control. I know we are all heated, but that’s not exactly what Maria was sayin -”

“If you touch him, mark my fucking words Maria; I will burn Jackson to the ground with every resident still inside. You’re gonna wish that you had found me guilty instead,” you cut in, hauling yourself up on shaky limbs to stalk towards the two betas like some sort of rabid dog. 

Before you could reach your target, Joel yanked you back towards the couch, easily wrangling you in between his legs despite your attempts to escape him. A frustrated groan bubbled up from your chest, one that was quieted by the feeling of him caging you in once more. An image flashed through your mind as you were forced to sit back, one that included you beating the shit out of the both of them for threatening your family in this way, but you shook it off. There wasn’t any truth to the enticing image, as the last thing you wanted to do was harm your own family. It was the heat talking, begging to be quelled by any means necessary; be it by Joel’s veiny cock or the blood of those who sought to harm him. 

“Stay calm for me darling, s’okay, we’re okay. They ain’t gonna do nothing,” he cooed, rubbing every part of your body that was appropriate for him to touch in front of guests. 

You wriggled in his hold, whining at Joel’s steady hands as you tried to free yourself. After a few more weak shoves and harmless elbow jabs, it was clear that you had lost the battle, leaving you with no other choice but to surrender to his hold. 

“I mean it,” you growled before you finally relented, staring directly at Maria as you said it. 

Joel sighed, “They heard ya the first time baby, now relax. Y’need to cut it out so we can get through this. Just be good f’me and stop with the threats, okay?” 

Another loud whine of protest came from you, but you nodded. Sitting back against Joel, you looked at the two visitors through wary eyes, giving off an air of contempt despite their overly cheery attempts at keeping the situation pleasant. They were betas, they had no idea what going through a heat or a rut was like, which meant they had no clue how jarring it was to have anyone other than your mate in the room while it was roaring to life. If they did, they’d be halfway across town by now. Instead they sat across from the two of you, wrinkling their noses as your scents permeated the air and mixed together to create an overbearing aroma. 

“Well, I appreciate your… candor, but this has nothing to do with my past grievances with Joel. I’m here because there are two bodies that have been found and the only possible culprits seem to be one of you. If you want to take responsibility for it, I’m all ears, but until then I’ll assume it’s the guy who already has a long ass history of violence,” Maria deadpanned. 

That made you soften a bit, as you were reminded that she was not the same as the other leaders you had the pleasure of treating with over the years. She was fair, it was you who had made a snap judgment on her. 

“Now, people in town are going to have questions. They expected a fair trial and all they got was ash,” she said, sounding exhausted by the mere thought of it, “I need to be able to tell them something better than just a ‘I don’t know anything about that.’ So how about you try again?”

“Well, I don’t know what it is you want me to say though. How about you tell me the magic words to getcha both out of my hair?,” Joel grouched. 

Tommy threw his hands up in the air, laughing in disbelief at his older brother’s coarse words. What your mate seemed to be missing was that she was giving him an out, granting him the luxury of innocence if he could simply think of a better story, one that the locals that despised him would actually accept.  

“Joel, use your fucking head. You know how many people hate your guts in this town. How would it look if we just let ya go? What does that say about justice in Jackson? Unless you can give us a better response, they’re gonna demand we hang your ass for this,” Tommy explained. 

Another silence followed, one that had you reeling. Joel had clearly been the main suspect for Maria and the rest of the residents, while Tommy had obviously assumed the guilty party to be you. What story could he possibly come up with to cover it up? Where did Joel’s reputation of being a menace to society leave him in terms of passing the buck? Nowhere, which meant you had only one choice if you wanted him saved from the noose. 

“And if I did confess to doing it, what would happen to Joel? What would happen to my pups? Would they be able to stay here without me? Would you keep them safe?,” you rushed out, wanting to get it out before Joel intervened. 

“Now, hang on a minute honey I ain’t - ” 

Maria cut in, “They would be free to stay and we would keep them safe. But like I said before, the story is what matters here. Joel and the twins would be welcome here if the worst came to pass, but I’m not sure you understand what it is I’m trying to say.” 

Joel pulled you back by the shoulders, a crazed look in his eye as he studied you. But you were uncharacteristically calm, a sense of peace drowning out your raging heat for just a moment. There wasn’t going to be another excuse as good as the vengeful mother. Whereas they would undoubtedly hang Joel for murder, it was more likely that they would exile you; the overly emotional omega who had been threatened as she went into labor. 

Although you would be doomed to a harsh life beyond the walls, ducking fates worse than death at every turn, your pups would be safe with their father. Joel could raise the twins, he’d already raised a kid all by himself once before with Sarah. They would fare better with him and your kids would ultimately be, above all else, safe within Jackson’s walls. It didn’t matter that they would never know their mother’s face or how much you loved them, nor did it matter that your heart was being shredded to pieces at the thought of leaving them behind, all that mattered at the end of the day was their safety. 

Afterall, what is motherhood if not putting your children first? Your own mother had forgotten that too many times to count, but you refused to do the same. 

“Baby, what the hell do you think you’re doing?! Y’cant just fucking leave me here alone, I won’t let you. If you leave me, I’ll come after ya and drag you back to Jackson if it’s the last thing I fucking do,” Joel promised, his vow bringing a tear to your eye. 

“No, you won’t,” you smiled sadly, “Our pups need their dad and I know you wouldn’t leave them here all alone Joel, it’s not who you are.” 

“What?!,” he cried out as his puppy dog eyes started to shine with a line of unshed tears, “Sweetheart, they need their fucking mom too, and I can’t do this without you. I-I won’t! Please baby, please stop this.”  

“If Jackson fell tomorrow, who do you think they’d be safer with? Me or you?,” you shot back, cocking your eyebrow at him, “Who can easily throw two kids over their shoulder and run for it? Because it’s not me. We need to be realistic here Joel, these are our pups we’re talking about.”

Joel’s mouth opened and closed as he worked on a response to that, but you had already turned back towards Maria. Perhaps he thought that you were being selfish, that giving in so easily and allowing them to oust you from the community was a cop out, but you didn’t think so. Growing up, your bleeding heart had been torn to pieces each day, as the adults meant to protect you had prioritized everything else over their sacred duty.  Their flagrant disregard had broken your heart over and over again, leaving you with a deep seeded belief that you were not worthy of love. 

That belief had eventually been disproved by Joel, after twenty five years of suffering on this unforgiving earth, but that didn’t mean you were completely cured. Its roots were still hidden inside, twisting your sense of self at every turn and making it nearly impossible to truly appreciate yourself in your lowest moments. It was Joel that brought you back down to earth, who made you feel like you were a vessel for all things good and beautiful. How could you possibly deprive Ellis and Alba of such a man? You couldn’t. From the second their presence had become known, you had vowed that they would always come first, even if it meant that you would have to suffer for it. 

“Fine, if you’ll take care of my family then I’ll tell you everything. I d-” 

“I DID IT!,” came from the foyer, sending a shockwave through the room from the sheer volume alone. 

There in the entranceway stood your mother, flanked by your best friend and his mate who were burdened with a clueless toddler and three thankfully sleeping pups in their arms. You watched as the tiny woman you had once feared marched forward, coming to full stop in front of the two betas with a determined look upon her face. 

“I did it, I went to your house for dinner that night and stole Tommy’s keys. Then, when the coast was clear, I took the two men out beyond the walls and killed them both. To cover it up, I burned down the barn and then I came back to Jackson before anyone could notice,” she stated. 

The balls she had to confess to a crime that she most certainly did not do had you stunned into silence. Dizzied by her actions, you were shocked to gaze upon a version of her you had thought to be dead for many years. This version of her was strong, undeterred by their authoritative stances as she proudly proclaimed her guilt to the entire room. A faint memory came to mind as you gawked at her, one that you hadn’t realized remained until that very moment. 

In the final months of your grandmother’s life, there had been a few times where your father had been too busy with his dying mother to be the stay at home dad he usually was. With kindergarten a whole summer away, your parents were left with no other choice than to send you into work with your mother. After being soothed by an armful of treats from the courthouse vending machine, you had sat silently behind her, chowing down on a heap of chocolate as she led the prosecution. Amazed by her calculated demeanor, you hadn’t even fussed once your snacks had vanished, too preoccupied with the way she cut through the defense so easily. 

At times, your mother was an incredibly impressive woman and omega. She had been the sole breadwinner in your house before the outbreak, as well as the only omega in a firm of highly paid corporate lawyers. Even after the world had come to a grinding halt, she had somehow managed to keep her only daughter alive against all odds for years before she stumbled upon Josiah’s community. That in itself deserved recognition. At times, she was the most shrewd and collected person in the room, but at that moment all you could think was that she was being incredibly stupid. 

“Mom, you don’t have t -”

“Do not interrupt your mother when she is speaking, it is rude and I have taught you better than that,” she snapped, the small glimpse of her former self silencing any further protest from you. 

“With all due respect ma’am, I don’t see how you could’ve possibly carried those two guys out of here on your own. You’re about a stone throw away from five foot nothing, and those guys were both well over six feet,” Tommy sighed, pinching his nose in frustration. 

“That’s because I helped her,” another voice said, this one more surprising than the last. 

If asked who you thought would have come to your defense first, aside from Joel, you would have assumed Jake. However, it was surprisingly Cooper who had piped up. Looking over at the man, he was more sure of himself than you had ever seen him, straightening his usually slumped spine until he had grown nearly a foot in height. What Cooper was attempting to do was very kind, but the defense made no sense. Whatever redemption he thought he needed to pursue was pointless, as you had already forgiven all of his past grievances once you learned how happy he made Jake. Although you appreciated the gesture, it was downright moronic for him to sit on his sword for your family when he had his own to worry about. 

“It’s true, I didn’t even notice that he was gone until all four kids started crying in the middle of the night. When Coop came home later, he told me everything,” Jake added, his eyes darting between you and his mate. 

That threw everyone in the room off guard. An omega tattling on their alpha was practically unheard of, as the loyalty between mates was supposed to be sacred. Even before the world went to shit, mates were not allowed to be indicted to testify against each other, as it was seen as highly unethical. Not to mention the fact that you knew how far back Jake and Cooper’s history went, spanning from stolen kisses as teens to a full blown complicated partnership as adults. Jake’s confession was astonishing, and the shock value almost made it seem plausible, but Maria was quick to dismiss it. 

“C’mon you three, there’s no way that you expect anyone to believe that you were the ones who did it,” she turned to your mother, “Sure, she’s your daughter and that’s as good of a reason as any, but Cooper? What possible reason could you have?” 

“I asked him to.”

“I asked him to.”

The way your voices overlapped would have usually made you both giggle, slapping each other like you were twelve years old again, but at that moment all you did was lock eyes. Jake shook his head once, giving you a stern look that warned against any sort of heroics. However, he had clearly forgotten how your stubbornness easily surpassed his, and you sent the same sort of pointed look straight back at him. It wasn’t fair for them to defend you in this way, especially when Jake knew you far too well to believe you were innocent. If things had been different, if Allie and Miriam didn’t exist, perhaps then you would let your bestfriend take the fall. But you were both parents now, which meant you didn’t understand how he could possibly expect you to sit back and let him dive headfirst into the mess that you had created. 

“Jesus fucking Christ, y’all are something else,” Tommy mused, his head in his hands as the situation only got more confusing with every false admission of guilt, “And why the fuck would you do that Jake?” 

It was a fair enough question and you were surprised at how much it seemed to anger him. You watched as Jake’s face turned purple, his carefully sculpted curls growing frizzy as he juggled Miriam into the crook of his elbow so he could run his hands through them. Cooper took one step towards his mate, only able to give him a soft tap with his elbow as he held both of your children in his arms, but it was enough to snap him out of it. Jake looked up from his daughter, the two of them having a silent conversation for a moment that ended when Cooper gave him a single nod of encouragement. With that, he turned back towards the group, straightening up as he stared Tommy down. 

“Are you fucking kidding me? Do you know who those pricks were working with? Do you understand how fucked up Paul’s crew was?,” Jake seethed. 

Maria cleared her throat, “We don’t have to start rehashing the pa-”

“No! You both need to listen,” he snapped. 

The two betas fell silent, looking at each other with wide eyes before they turned back towards your frustrated best friend. Although Jake was always outspoken, he was never volatile, which meant that his rage towards the two of them was shocking. 

“Did you know that they beat me in front of Coop to keep him in line? And why did it work? Oh that’s right, they stole our fucking daughter from us! And not only that, that whole group raped any omega they could find. Why would I do that?,” Jake threw his head back and cackled, “Why the fuck didn’t you?” 

A silence fell over the room as the rarely mentioned past came to rear its ugly head again. Jake didn’t even have to say what everyone was thinking, that no matter how they tried to spin it, every person in that room had a reason to kill those men. 

For you and Joel, it was pure revenge that drove you two forward, as well as the peace of mind that your family would not be hunted for the millionth time. For Jake and Cooper, it was  revenge for the hell their family had been put through, along with assurance that there were no grudges against Paul’s younger brother left to haunt them. And for your mother… Well, she was one of the countless omegas that had been used as sex slaves by those sick fucks. Who had more reason than her? Those two men had conspired with the people who abused her and then helped kidnap her pregnant daughter, of course she would go after them. 

It could have been any of you. 

Maria looked like she was about to walk straight into the ocean, with each worry line etched into her face becoming increasingly prominent by the second. Meanwhile Tommy seemed almost impressed by the solidarity of the group, though you did clock how he kept looking towards you. He looked at you like a cop might look at a repeat offender they had grown fond of, as if to say that he respected you despite your incessant crimes. If only you were the mastermind he thought you to be, perhaps then you would have been wise enough to plan it better. 

Maybe if you had a plan, you wouldn’t be sweating bullets with slick running steadily down your pant leg. The wet spot between your thighs had grown darker and wider with every passing second. By the time you gathered enough courage to look down, the stain had grown all the way down to your knees. Joel was no better, shifting and grunting from behind you as the fire in your core screamed for his cock. It wouldn’t be long before this interview became too much, you felt it in the way he squeezed your hips like stress balls, worrying your curves under his fingertips as a deep growl rumbled against your back. 

“Fucking hell, I’ve got five people in here who claim they did it and nobody’s goddamn story lines up. What the fuck do you expect me to do with that?,” Maria hissed. 

“Not sure, but you should probably make a decision soon. I don’t really wanna be here for when things get uh… desperate. Bad enough we have to stand here with their fucking kids when they’re like this. I know that I wouldn’t want mine around during a rut,” Cooper grouched. 

“I second that,” your mother said, her lips curled in disgust as wave after wave of your heady scents smacked her in the face. 

They were right to be wary of the condition you and Joel were in, as his soft caresses to your body were getting increasingly risque. He had switched from simply brushing his fingertips over your thighs to squeezing them hard, forcing a small whimper from you that made everyone else in the room shift uncomfortably. The way your scents were being pumped out was intoxicating to the both of you, while you could tell that the rest of the group would prefer to have their noses chopped off. 

It was incredibly invasive to have people see you and Joel in this way, let alone your own family. The fact that all of the adults were there was already uncomfortable, but having the twins around for this, even with them too young to understand any of it, was nerve racking. You wanted them protected from everything, especially the disgusting sight of their parents riled up for each other. As a result, you couldn’t help but turn in your spot, looking back at Joel to try to provide yourself with some sort of comfort. 

“Joel,” you whimpered softly, making sure that only he could hear it.

Joel’s eyes flicked towards you, his dilated pupils overtaking the chocolate brown until only a sliver remained. The curls you adored were standing straight up, making it look like he had been dunked in water and electrocuted. Your eyes traced his strong cheekbones, studying the deep shade of red that dusted over the high points. He looked like he was in pain, the slight crease between his brows and displeased frown showcasing the discomfort he was in. 

“I know sweetheart, I know,” Joel murmured, “They’re gonna leave soon, we’re almost there babygirl, promise.”

The high pitched whine you let out was involuntary, along with the way you abruptly turned and climbed into his lap. Joel cussed, steadying your hips as you mounted him and stuck your nose into the crook of his neck to suck at the sensitive skin there. The smell of him turned off all of your thoughts, making you forget about everyone else in the room. When you tried to rock against him, to ease some of the built up tension in your core, the hands on your hips halted your movements and you sobbed at his refusal. 

“Honey, we can’t - fuck,” he grunted as you bit down on his gland, “Fucking Christ baby, you gotta cut that shit out.” 

“Yeah uh, do you see that? That’s exactly what I was worried about. I mean, for Christ’s sake guys, I don’t want to be here for this. Do you?” Cooper pointed out, his words making you cling to your alpha even tighter. 

It wasn’t that you were scared of Cooper, or anyone else in the room, it was that the sound of anyone’s voice other than Joel’s had become grating to your overwhelmed senses. The raging beast inside of you demanded that you growl and spit at the crowd until they retreated, leaving you alone with the man that was whispering desperate pleas in your ear to stay still for everyone’s sake. And you wanted to abide by him, to remain pliant until the interrogation was done, but you couldn’t. The rational part of your brain was getting smaller by the second, being shoved to the side by the overwhelming need for Joel to temper you with his knot. 

“Leave,” you growled against Joel’s heated skin, silencing the mindless bickering from the peanut gallery behind you. 

“But we haven’t even came to a -”

Tommy’s response was overpowered by the warning sound that rumbled from within your chest and you had the distinct pleasure of watching everyone’s eyes widen as you lept from Joel’s lap, stalking across the room once more. Tommy and Maria were both going to die, you decided it right then and there. They were going to die and you would finally be able to get relief from the raging heat pulsing between your legs. It didn’t matter that your mind was muddled by hormones, nor did it matter that you actually cared for both of the betas quite deeply, all that mattered to you in that moment was getting them out of your house so you could get properly fucked. 

“Get. Out.” 

Those two words were spat out with so much contempt, so much venom, that it forced them both to lean back in their seats. They didn’t move to leave, despite the fact that you were half crazed and panting, with slick stains on clear display for everyone in the room. You looked insane and you felt it too. Which is why you launched yourself at them, your fist making contact with Tommy’s left ear with one brutal swing before you felt familiar hands pull you away once more. 

“Get the fuck out of my house! Now!,” you screeched, kicking at the alpha who tried to coral you away from the unwanted guests. 

Joel turned you around, easily lifting you from the floor so that he could wrap your legs around his waist. He shoved your face into his neck again, keeping his palm against the back of your head in case you tried to pull away. It was like he had put you in some sort of air jail, where all you could do was allow him to hold you against him so that you couldn’t attack anyone again. 

“She’s right, you all need to go,” Joel said, his calm voice cutting through your incessant growling. 

“This doesn’t mean you’re all off the hook,” Maria shot back, to which he nodded. 

“I know, but still, you gotta fucking get out of here. I can’t do this for much longer, and she’s already three sheets to the wind. Y’all are gonna have to clear out, or else m’not gonna to be held responsible for what you end up seeing,” he answered her. 

With the agreement set, the two betas swiftly stood from their place on the couch, nodding to everyone before they hurried out the door. Your mother followed close behind and you didn’t blame her for not sticking around. The thought of witnessing your own children go into a full blown heat as their mate’s rut was fast approaching made you want to throw up. 

“Will you watch them for a bit longer? Please? I don’t think we can -”

“We’ve got them under control, she sent way too much shit with them anyways,” Jake assured him, “Just return the favor sometime, that’s all we ask.” 

Joel gruffly agreed and you heard them take their leave, the sound of the front door clicking shut behind them signaling that you were finally alone. The second they were gone, he ripped your face away from his neck by the roots of your hair, smashing his mouth into yours so hard that his teeth clacked against yours. A high pitched moan came from you, which was answered by a deep groan from him as he carried you towards the stairs. The path he had in mind was clear from the second he took the first step, but you were too desperate to wait that long. With one final swipe of the tongue, you pulled back and panted against him, trying to gulp enough air down to straighten out your thoughts. 

“Daddy please, I-I can’t wait that long. F-Fuck me, ya gotta fuck me, pleeease,” you begged, tearing at his shirt until he relented and helped you take it off. 

“Needy little thing, aren’t ya?,” Joel huffed, halting on the landing in the middle of the staircase. 

Before you could ask him what he was going to do, he had already dropped down to his knees, placing you a few steps above him so that your hips were in line with his. Joel smiled at your look of surprise when he tore the clothes off of your lower half, revealing your naked pussy to his greedy gaze in an instant. 

“What a bad girl you are honey, I bet you wanted me to fuck you in front of that crowd on the street, show everyone in town what a little slut you are for me,” he praised, his voice sounding nothing short of reverent despite the filthiness of his words. 

The embarrassingly loud keen you let out was enough of an answer for Joel and before you could worry about potentially pissing him off for not answering, he was yanking off his belt. He shoved his pants down to his knees, showcasing his perfect cock that was standing proudly to attention. It was wet with precum and reddened at the tip, angrily pulsing in time with his racing heart. You mindlessly tried to reach for it, wanting to ease some of the clear discomfort for him, but your hands were quickly slapped away. 

“Later sweet girl, right now I need to feel that tight pussy around me. Fuck honey - please - please tell me that I can have her, she’s so fucking good to me,” Joel babbled, slotting his length in between your soaked centre and rubbing the tip across your swollen clit. 

In lieu of a response, you gripped him the back of the neck, bringing him back down and capturing him in a passionate kiss. Joel hissed as you wiggled against him, snapping out of it so that he could hang the backs of your knees over his shoulders. With you folded in half, he pulled back, panting into your mouth as he forced his way inside. Despite the multiple rounds he had treated you with last night, unknowingly fucking you through the first few hours of a heat, there was still a stretch. At that point, having had Joel inside of you more times than you could possibly count, you were pretty sure that you would never get used to the monster that hung below his waistline. 

“Daddy,” you whined, the sting already getting to be too much with just half of his cock inside. 

Joel hushed you, cooing at your teary eyes as he reached down and pinched your clit between his fingers. He rubbed the bud hard, bringing tears to your eyes as sharp jolts of pleasure rocked through your core. It was like any trace of the loving alpha you knew was gone, leaving you with the more brutal version of him that came out when he was in a rut. 

“I think those assholes would like watching you get fucked by me. Shi-it - yeah, bet they’d stare at this perfect little pussy getting torn apart by me and wish it was their cock instead of mine. But you wouldn’t let them, would you darling?,” Joel teased, the tip of his length finally brushing up against your cervix with one final shove. 

With Joel looming over you, forcing your knees to frame your head against the steps, his cock was deeper than you had ever felt it. He was all encompassing, his length buried in such a way that every slight movement caused him to brush against one of the most devastatingly perfect spots inside, meanwhile the proximity of his face had butterflies fluttering in your already stuffed tummy. 

Joel’s face was so close that you could see all of the wrinkles and faded scars. Some were older, while others had been acquired in your time together, but they were all beautiful. The pronounced shape of his nose made you swoon, along with the way he had shaved his face just the way he knew you liked it. It was easy for you to drown out everything as you looked into his eyes, so much so that you didn’t realize your fatal error until one of Joel’s hands suddenly wrapped around your throat. 

“Oh, so maybe you do want them to touch daddy’s pussy, hm? Is that it? Have I not fucked you good enough?,” Joel growled, his rut clearly behind the wheel as he let his possessive side show, “Maybe I gotta find some toys, keep ya tied up and let them do the work f’me until I can come home to fuck some sense into you.” 

The idea of it was so hot that your eyes rolled into the back of your head, slick gushing out of your core so steadily that you could see it dripping down the steps. Although you had no problem with Joel’s filthy proposal, that would have to wait for another day, as your heat called for nothing inside of you except for his thick knot. Swallowing hard around his grip, you sucked in a shaky breath and attempted to respond. 

“N-No, don’t want anyone else,” you cried, tears dripping down and wetting the palm against your neck, “My pussy is yours, she’s yours just please, I need you to do something daddy. I only want y-you to fuck me, need it so bad.” 

He hummed, “Is that right sweetheart? Why should I believe ya?”

Like it had once before, Joel’s rut had brought out something mean inside of him. Even though his cock was throbbing wildly, wedged inside the tight embrace of your walls, he would rather toy with his prey than devour it. He was maddening, he was cruel, and he was also exactly what you needed. In an instant, all of your walls came down, causing you to thrash around and whine for him shamelessly. The desperate movements you made caused his hand to slide off your neck, which gave you enough air to divulge into a litany of pleas. 

“Please! M’good, I can be so good for you daddy. Believe me - fuck, shit - I love you, not them. I’d never let ANY of them touch me - I only want you! I’ve only ever wanted you Joel. Please, I- ohfuckthankyoudaddyshiit -”

Joel didn’t let you finish, your garbled plea cut off by him yanking his cock out and slamming it back in so hard that his balls audibly slapped against your ass. He didn’t give you a chance to think, a chance to breathe, before he started tearing into you. Each violent thrust sent you flying higher and higher, his speed only doubling down each time you let out a choked whine. While Joel slammed into you so hard that the wet smack of your sopping pussy could be heard throughout the house, he snuck his hand up to grip your neck again, squeezing the sides of it so deliciously that you would have screamed if you could. He controlled not only your breaths but also your vision like this, his eyes burning a hole through yours as he forced you to watch him. 

There was a part of you that wanted to look away, to shake him off so that you could get a second of reprieve, but you were hypnotized. Joel’s eyes were so expressive that you had no choice than to stare back. Lust, love, devotion, and unfiltered pleasure flickered across the brown pools, each fleeting expression speaking to your very soul. It left you completely helpless, nothing but a vessel for him to thrust his cock into and play with whenever he saw fit. For the man that beat your cervix into submission, lightly halting your breaths as he rubbed your clit, you would do absolutely anything. You were completely gone, so addicted to him that you didn’t care if everyone in Jackson walked in at that very moment, you knew Joel would keep going regardless. 

“Aw honey, is this too much for her already?,” Joel cooed, tightening his hold on your throat so you couldn’t respond, “Can feel that little cunt getting tighter, is she gonna cum for me baby? Is daddy gonna make her cry?” 

Nodding vehemently, you yanked viciously at Joel’s graying curls until he was right where you wanted him. Perhaps it was greedy to ask for more, but even through the thick fog of heat you knew that this was something he would not refuse. He groaned at the mere suggestion, pace faltering for a few thrusts as his hot breath fanned out over your breasts. You were so close, with your legs shaking and your core growing tighter by the second, but you needed one last push. With how sensitive they were, you were pretty sure that if Joel so much as kissed your nipple, you’d lose it. 

“Shi-it, you’re fucking perfect f’me babygirl,” Joel groaned, leaning forward to suck one of the swollen peaks into his mouth. 

A gasp escaped your mouth, followed by a litany of swears that were silenced by his thumb and index finger pressing against the sides of your neck. Being as experienced as Joel was, he was smart enough not to crush your precious windpipe, opting instead to dizzy you as he cut off the flow of blood to your brain while he pounded into you even harder. It left you a breathless, convulsing mess, your pussy choking him as you let him take you higher and higher. He bit down hard on your nipples, worrying them hard beneath his teeth and happily licking up the beads of sweet milk that spurted out. 

“C’mon honey, feel you - shit - feel you holding it back. Let go baby, cum f’me. Need to feel you milk my cock, gonna knot ya soon I promise,” Joel murmured, dispersing wet kisses along your chest between harsh bites. 

One last bite to your nipple, accompanied by a brutal thrust and a sinful circle over your clit, ripped the orgasm straight from your core. Joel let go of your throat, giving you just enough oxygen to scream as pleasure overrode all of your senses. Slick sprayed out of your core, drenching both him and the staircase below as you came. He kept at it as you dissolved into a puddle of desire, babbling at him as you tore at his hair and scratched his arms. 

“That’s it, that’s it, good fucking girl baby. God, you feel so good like this. Cumming around my cock like a slut - SHIT - but you’re my fucking slut. Gonna fuck you so hard tonight honey, gonna make it so you never forget whose pussy this is, gonna - ohmygod - gonna give you my knot until it takes,” Joel rambled, his pace growing wild and uncordinated as he did. 

The idea of Joel fucking another kid into you was, much to the dismay of your future self, an extremely enticing one. He was full of raw energy as he doubled down on his thrusts, chasing his own high with a brutality that numbed all thoughts and made your legs violently shake. Even though you had already came, he was already so close to making you cum again, each brutal slide home forcing a pitiful cry from your lips. 

“G-Gonna cum again Joel, want you to - ah - want you to cum inside. Please daddy, alpha, fuck, need you to make it better. It hurts so bad, n-need your knot in my pussy,” you begged with hot tears pouring down your face. 

“Fuck honey, already? God, you’re so perfect, such a good fucking girl. Gonna - shi-it - gonna choke my cock again before I knot you? Good, fucking cum then,” Joel hissed. 

With his incessant thrusts continuing to fuck you senseless, Joel squeezed your clit between his fingers again, leaning down to sink his teeth into your neck as he reared back and slapped the bud hard. The pain shot through your entire body, followed by a wave of pleasure that was even more devastating than the last. With each tight pulse around his cock, you brought him closer to the edge, until one final pull on his hair forced him to shove his knot inside. 

Joel moaned wantonly as he came, calling out your name in a way that prolonged your own high. With your bodies moving in sync as you both thrummed with pleasure, Joel grinded up against you, trying to wring as much pleasure from the release that he could. He was insatiable, stopping only when you were too worn out to take it anymore. With the heat now glowing hot in your belly and his rut at full force, you knew that this was just the first of what would be many rounds. Although his thick ropes of hot cum had soothed the ache for now, it would be back in full swing in no time. 

“Oh fuck baby, holy shit,” Joel panted, blanketing himself over you in a way that was stifling. 

You nodded, still too out of it to respond. It didn’t help that Joel had your ankles up around your head, ensuring that you would be out of breath no matter how much oxygen you gulped down. With his cock plugged deep inside, calming that fire that had burned bright since that morning, you didn’t care enough about air to tell him. As far as you were concerned, you’d let Joel strangle you into a short coma if it meant that you could cum that hard again. And that wasn’t even the heat talking, your alpha was just that good. 

“Shit, hang on,” Joel said suddenly, his voice full of concern as he pulled away. 

Carefully, Joel eased your legs off of his shoulders and wrapped them around his waist, finally allowing you to breathe regularly again. After a few deep breaths, the thick haze that had settled over your mind dissipated and you blinked up at him. His gaze mirrored yours, the two of you so in love that it was like nobody else existed. It was just you and him for eternity, locked together in the most primal of ways as the world passed by. Who cared about the rest of Jackson? All that mattered was your mate. 

“I love you,” you whispered, which caused him to smile in return.  

“I love you too honey, so much,” Joel chuckled. 

The warm glow that had settled over you only burned brighter at the admission, until you were both smiling at each other like maniacs. In the days to come, they could try what they must to oust you and Joel, but the two of you would survive it. As crazy as it sounded, you were suddenly so sure of the future that you wanted to sprint down the street and scream it to the rest of the town, to dare them to do anything to stop it. 

“You ain’t leaving me honey, I won’t let ya go that easy,” Joel mumbled.  

His voice had taken a more serious tone as he brought up the confession you had made and you sighed at the painful reminder. 

“Joel, you have to believe me; I didn’t want to say any of that but I needed to keep our pups safe. And if that meant -,” you stopped, unable to even finish the thought with how riled up the heat made you. 

Joel growled at that, as if he could somehow scare off the grief you felt at the thought of leaving the twins behind. He placed a kiss against your lips, proceeding to lay a smattering across every inch of your face until the sting faded to the background. It was incredibly hard to stay grumpy with such a doting mate, especially as he muddied your mind one peck at a time. He worked his way down your jaw, kissing and nipping the skin until your hips jumped beneath him. 

“I understand sweet girl, I do,” Joel promised, continuing to move down the side of your neck, “But I need you to understand that I meant what I said baby, if you leave my ass here alone, I will follow you to the ends of the earth and drag you back home screaming if I have to.”

“You can’t leave our pups all alone here Joel,” you reminded him, although the shakiness in your voice made the protest fall short. 

Joel snorted, “D’ya think that any of your family would be cool with you just up and vanishing? I ain’t gonna be the only one pissed off sweetheart. M’sure that I can find a babysitter no problem so I can track you down and punish ya properly.”  

With that, Joel bit down against your gland, forcing you to cry out as more dopamine and oxytocin raced through your body. Clenching around him hard, you squealed as the bite forced one last pitiful orgasm from your overstimulated pussy. Joel groaned against the crook of your neck, unable to stop himself from stirring his still inflated knot lodged in your pussy to keep you flying high for just a second longer. It was overwhelming for the both of you, but especially him. You saw it in his pained grimace and yet, Joel didn’t stop until you relaxed back against the staircase after one last pitiful twitch. 

“Say that you won’t,” he softly begged when you came down, the desperation in his gravelly voice pulling you from the fog once more. 

“Joel,” you cooed, the sight of the fear in his eyes piercing through your heart. 

Though it had not been your intention to terrify Joel, you clearly had, as he looked like he was close to barring the windows and chaining you to the bed if you seemed even the least bit flighty. His rut was making the fear worse, which made you slightly nervous for the brutal poundings you were undoubtedly set to receive in the days to come, but you needed to quell the fear that ran wild through his nervous system before he broke down. It was a duty that had been ingrained in your very being from the moment Joel had sealed the bond between you. Hell, the need to soothe him had probably existed for longer than that, like from the moment you had first encountered the smell of bergamot and sandalwood along the riverside miles away. 

“I won’t leave you Joel and I promise that I never even wanted to. It killed me to say that, but I thought there was no other way. You’re just such a good dad, I thought it would be better for it to be you to stay with them. They love you so much,” you tried to explain. 

The admission was enough to smooth some of the creased lines along his forehead, while a few new ones formed. Out of nowhere, Joel cupped your face in both hands, kissing you with an unbridled passion that had you curling your toes. He pulled back when you were thoroughly winded and knocked his forehead against yours, giving you no other choice than to be consumed by him. 

“Thank you for saying that honey, but if I’m a good dad to those two, it’s only because I have you by my side. Sure, I might’ve raised one pup by myself, but I ain’t as spry as I was in the 90s. Plus, the twins are something else. Pretty sure my back would give out after a week,” Joel joked. 

You laughed, “Shit, you’re right. My bad, I forgot their dad was a senior citizen.” 

He joined you in laughter, shaking his head at your jab about his age. Watching Joel laugh made warm tingles of unadulterated joy fire across each nerve ending, until you felt almost stoned as you gazed up at him. He caught his breath for a second, sighing as he returned to his serious demeanor. As you waited for Joel to say what he was working on, you thumbed through his facial hair, admiring the salt and pepper mustache above his upper lip that you made him promise to never shave off. 

“I need you in this with me sweetheart. Whatever happens, we have to stick together, okay? I’ve lost too much in this lifetime, I can’t lose anymore. I need you, I need our pups - fuck honey - I need our family. You can’t leave,” Joel said seriously, leaving little room for discussion. 

“Our family stays together, no matter what,” you softly agreed. 

With the promise sealed, Joel leaned down and captured your lips again, which kick started yet another round against the stairs. The coming months would unfurl as they would, like usual, but you knew that everything would be fine because you had each other. The two of you reminded each other of that fact incessantly throughout the next four days, locked inside as he pulled you into round after round of ecstasy, until your belly was bloated with the torrents of cum he had pumped inside. And when the day came where the heat had finally dissipated, fucked out of you dutifully by the love of your life, the two of you were ready to face whatever may come. 

Instead of letting the fear Joel was accustomed to take hold, he had grabbed your hand, kissing the back of it before he led you towards the rest of your lives. The future would be brighter than your pasts, it had to be. The heartbreak and grief you were both accustomed to was gone, never to return again. You were no longer alone and neither was he. To have Joel, to have your pups, to be completely surrounded by the type of love you had dreamed of during a life filled with endless sorrow, it would be enough. 

It already was. 

A/N:

Hey! I just wanted to say, thank you guys for following this story straight through to the end. As you can see from the masterlist, I have made room for the epilogue I'm creating. This will jump forward to check in on reader and Joel 4 years later.

As I've said before, this was my first try at writing a fanfic and I thank you all for bearing with me. I know that this story isn't perfect, but it has been a lot of fun and has given me the confidence to branch out. I already have a small list of other fics that I plan to write and that is because of you guys! That being said, I'm always open to requests and would be more than happy to check in on these two whenever you guys want :)

Hi, hive, mind. I'm also sick, so this super helped. Thank you

REQUEST Hi it’s me again…. Sorry i have new ideas like every second. I LOVE Joel’s thick jacket he wore when he was in snowy Jackson. I was thinking like Joel holding reader EXTREMELY tight like freaking grizzly bear type strength while they are wrapped into his jacket like a burrito. Maybe they’re sick or just really cold, idk i’m sick rn i’m just talking about myself with Joel at this point 😭. Again sorry I dont know how to shorten my words.

Never apologize!!! Pop in anytime, but only for a point form story or little blurb haha! I’m hoping you mean this jacket….

You felt it before you even open your eyes that morning. An annoying tickle, right at the back of your throat, yet also in your nose and somehow your ear.

Joel’s lips pressed softly to your forehead as you stir awake. “Bye, baby. I’ll see you when I get back from patrol. ” He hovers for a minute before the back of his hand meets your forehead. “You feel a bit warm, but you also have like seven blankets on. I love you.”

“Be safe, my love.” You mumble, keeping your eyes shut tightly as if that will rewind time and you can go back to what you and Joel were doing last night. His hands on your hips as you straddle him. His lips touching every spot they can reach.

As he pulled away you were left with the scent of leather and pine needles.

It must be cold out, you thought to yourself, if he’s wearing his thick coat.

As you peel yourself out of bed you noticed the achy joints that usually go along with the itchy throat. All signs of an oncoming cold, or allergies, but it’s the tail end of fall and your allergies are usually reserved for the spring.

A chill spreads through your sore body once out of bed. I don’t have time to get sick.

As the daylight ticks by, the aching intensifies and the itch becomes a sniffle. By the time you leave your job at the stables, you’re freezing cold and have an annoying little cough that will catch you in surprise fits.

When Joel walks in the door you’re in a pair of his wool socks, 2 pairs of sweat pants, a sweater, one of his button down flannels, a winter hat and have a blanket wrapped around you. Your teeth chatter as you stand by the stove, waiting for your water to boil so you can make some of Maria’s homemade loose leaf tea to help fight off whatever you’ve caught.

“Whoa, it’s hotter than the Texas sun in here,” he proclaims as he takes his boots off, as he unzips his jacket and steps into the kitchen he freezes in his tracks.

“Oh, baby girl,” he coos softly. “Are you ok?”

“No,” you say, your voice muffled from how stuffed up you are.

“Aww honey,” he says softly, pulling you into his arms. On instinct your hands come out of the blanket, reaching into his thick leather coat to wrap around his waist. He pulls you in tightly, and then grabs the lapels of his coat to practically plaster you to him.

“I’m so cold,” a sniffle finishing the statement for you as you try to take in the smell of leather you love so much.

Joel starts the walk the two of you towards the bedroom, every muscle in your body protesting as you go. “Let me get you all tucked in and then I’ll make your tea. You should have asked Maria to send someone for me. I would have came home, baby.”

“Everything hurts,” you pout into his chest.

He gets you in bed and then slips his jacket off, laying it on top of you like a blanket before putting the actual bedspread over you.

“I know, I’m here now. Just rest. I’ll be right back with your tea.”

That’s the last thing you remember until the next morning. When you wake up you’re still wrapped in Joel’s jacket, only you’re on your side, your back pressed tightly to his front. His arm is wrapped around you protectively and you sink back into his warmth. You breathe in through your nose, getting just a hint of that leather and pine, and drift off again.

You just- YOU JUST KNOW! YOU KNOW JUST HOW TO WRITE A TEASING BASTARD!! Professor Joel isn't something I thought i needed, but Fuck I need him so badly.

✨Fall Into the Dark With Me✨

Dark Arts Professor! Joel Miller x Herbology Professor Fem! reader

A/N: I have had this idea for the longest time to mix the two things I love the most together. I hope you love it as much as I do! Hogwarts AU with Joel Miller was the best idea I’ve had in a while. He is an absolute menace in this, and I love him very much 🥰 Thank you to @jennaispunk for beta reading!

Summary: You’ve had your eyes on the new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor for a while. Just like he’s had his eyes on you. He’s a sly, sneaky, teasing Slytherin, and you’re a shy, meek Hufflepuff. Will your little flirting game suddenly lead to more once he gets you alone in a room?

Rating: Explicit 18+ MDNI

Word Count: 7.9k

Tags: Slytherin! Joel, Hufflepuff! reader, relentless teasing, flirting, pining, Joel is a menace, no use y/n, Hogwarts AU, Joel has a dirty mouth, oral (fem! receiving), unprotected piv, creampie, porn with plot, Harry Potter spells and references, no outbreak au, Dark Arts! Joel

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

  August blew in as fast as the hot summer breeze slipped out of reach. No more cozy afternoons curled up on your plush couch with your cat. You were back to big green open lands, back to the scents of willow trees and butterbeer, back to Hogwarts. Home for the next school year. 

   The thing was, you weren’t prepared for what awaited you behind those grand castle walls this semester, not even a little bit. You weren’t prepared for him. 

   Joel Miller, the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, the absolute bane of your existence. Ever since you locked eyes with him that first time in the Great Hall, you couldn’t get those gorgeous brown irises out of your head. 

   He was a menace; you could just tell. You knew the moment you saw that smug smirk on his face, those tousled grey flecked curls you could lace your fingers through, that patchy salt-and-pepper beard that you imagined might feel so good trailing down the skin of your neck with plush lips teasing across your body. 

   It was the way he carried himself. Like he owned every single damn room he walked into. Button-up silky shirts that he rolled up to his elbows, exposing those long, corded veins that skated down his tanned forearms. But let’s not forget the emerald snake tattoo that slithered its way around his forearm, accentuating the tanned skin that glowed almost golden under the warm, sunlit skies. Marking his Slytherin blood with ink. And those hands. Big, thick fingers that he’d wrap around his dark brown dragon heartstring wand as he chanted spells inside his classroom. And the way his eyes always seemed to shift toward yours in a crowded room. Those dark brown coffee-colored eyes that seemed to put you under a hypnotic spell. 

   He was trouble. You knew it, too. 

   It all started that first day, after that first heated stare at the sorting ceremony. He couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off you for the entire night. He didn’t hide it either. And then it was the casual grazing of hands in crowded halls, the flirtatious smiles and winks across the dining hall, the small conversations in the outside gardens as he’d slip a green apple from his pocket and slowly take a bite out of it. His eyes never leaving yours as they devoured you. Just like you’d wish he’d do to your skin, your lips, your flustered core. 

   He knew what he was doing, he knew damn well. 

   It was just a flirtatious banter between a tall, handsome Slytherin and a shy, gentle Hufflepuff. One a Dark Arts professor, the other a Herbology professor. It was only casual conversations and the occasional grazing of hands. Until it wasn’t. 

   No. Then he started taunting you, playing petty games. The hard-to-get kind of games. 

   One of the assistant professors, Priscilla Wilson, would always try to get attention from Professor Miller. Finding any reason to reach over and brush her fingers over his broad shoulders. Flip her long, fiery red hair, bat her long eyelashes, giggle every time he gives in to her flirting and winks over at her, making her nearly fall out of her seat. And every single time he’d entertain her, he’d look your way and fucking smirk at you. 

   Fucking smirk.

   Smug bastard. You just want to slap the stupid smirk off his face, but you also just really want to fucking kiss it off. 

   You’re so royally fucked.

   He loves to tease you. Loves to put you right on the edge where you’ll either lash out and call him on his bluff, or just scoff and brush it off your shoulder like a Cornish Pixie. 

   He knows damn well it gets you all flustered. Cheeks red, hot breath blowing from your mouth, pursed lips as he smirks your way while other women fawn over him. Drool practically hanging from their gawking mouths. You can practically feel the pride he wears inside that broad chest of his. Brown eyes narrowed while he dares you to do anything about it. He knows you won’t. Knows you’re better than to give in to his little tricks. So you just take it and stomp out of the room. Every single time while his devious chuckle floats through the room, right into your ears. 

   Well, he’d gotten into your head long ago. You gave in to the temptation of his smoldering brown eyes, the playful smirks that curl across his plush lips, that fucking Southern accent that drives you up the walls when you’re in your bed late at night. 

   He’s poisoned you. Enchanted you with his cunning Slytherin ways. Handsome, ambitious, prideful, strong, mischievous, smoldering. That’s exactly why you slip your hand under the cool sheets night after night. Fingers curling up inside you, thumb stroking light circles over your needy clit, moaning his name, pretending that it’s him under your sheets taking you over the edge. 

   His hands, his fingers, his filthy words, his mouth, his cock, his everything giving you orgasm after orgasm. And when you’re finished, sweat coating every inch of your skin, you feel breathless and dirty. 

   This is what he wants. You all hot and bothered for him. Well, he won because you’re already completely smitten for the Slytherin man. 

   And one day, he’ll give in to you, too. 

   The cool air whips past your hair as students shuffle by in the busy hall, rushing so they won’t be late to their classes. Large, cascading open windows filter sunlight through the massive hallway, historical paintings fill the stone walls, towering archways pave every corner, wafts of autumn leaves and pumpkins marinate through the air. 

   Hogwarts is peaceful, and this place is magical.

   As the last of the students disappear down corridors and hurry into classrooms, you’re suddenly alone in the hallway. No noise except for the classroom in front of you. But it’s not just any classroom. 

   It’s the Dark Arts classroom. Joel’s classroom. 

   You lean against the stony wall, wait until all the students quiet down. Eventually, Joel shuts them up and then there’s nothing but his deep, Southern drawl filling the room, filtering out just enough in the hall for you to sit and listen. 

   You do this often. More like every other day. Sitting outside his classroom, listening to his melodic voice teaching about his passion. He’s always had a love for the Dark Arts and now, so do you. 

   As you lean against the edge of the doorway, back against the stone-covered wall, you seem to get lost in the deep drawl of his voice like an enchanted siren. You could listen to him for hours on end. He’s good at what he does. Smart, cunning, brilliant. 

   And by brilliant, you mean he’s wiser than some of the ghosts that lurk these castle corridors. Some people even whisper that he can speak Parseltongue. And you don’t doubt it for one second. The man would open the Chamber of Secrets if someone would let him. 

   But Joel doesn’t need permission from anyone. He does what he wants, when he wants, and who he wants. You just wish that someone was you. 

   You sigh as you lean against the wall, panting every time he starts lecturing on different subjects about the Dark Arts. Today, he’s teaching about werewolves. And that is a subject you happen to find quite fascinating. 

   “Miss Flora, can you tell me how—.”

   You shift your weight and lose your balance, almost tumbling to the polished floor until you grab ahold of the silver-edged door and stop yourself. 

   The classroom grows silent and so does Joel’s bravado voice. 

   Shit. You just got caught red handed. 

   “Think we’ve got a straggler out in the hall. Think they should come in. Don’t you, students?” You hear the smirk in his voice. Like he knows it’s you. But how would he know…

   Oh, right. Because he’s the smartest fucking professor at this school. 

   When he clears his throat, you know you won’t be able to weasel your way out of this one. So, you take a hesitant step into the entrance of his classroom, and there he is. Big brown eyes narrowed just slightly and a smug smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth. 

   God, he’s so good looking.

   “Ahh. Professor. Care to join us?” he asks, stepping around his mahogany desk, tapping the tip of his dragon heartstring wand against the top of his thigh.

   That’s all it takes to have you weak in the knees. Because the way he’s looking at you tells you everything you need to know. He wants to pull your strings, make you shiver, make you pliable. And now’s the perfect opportunity where he can fluster you up without even fucking touching you. 

   Shit.

   “Take a seat,” he says, nodding to an open seat at the back of the room.

   You shake your head and take a step back, careful not to look straight into his brown eyes. “Oh, no. I shouldn’t interrupt. I was just—.” 

   “Sit. Down.” It’s not a question but a demand.

   You purse your lips and take the empty seat while several of the students snicker and whisper to each other. 

   Great. Now you’re really blushing. 

   You take a look around the classroom while Joel continues his lesson, flicking his wand to turn to the next slide overhead. The room is dim, curtains drawn so only the floating candles and twinkling lights from hanging lamps fill the room. A dragon’s skeleton is displayed in the back of the room, his mahogany desk covered in neat papers, dark artifacts, and ink quills. Banners of the forbidden forest and creatures of the black lake are spread high across the elegant stone walls. A dusty chandelier with glittering crystals tops off the room, painting golden sparkles on the ceiling. 

   The room is very him. Dark, divine, mysterious, gorgeous. It even fucking smells like him. Cedar wood, mahogany, green apples, whiskey. The room has his trademark all over it.

   You sit back against the wooden chair and watch the way he commands a room. The slight flick of his wand every time he paces back and forth, his rapt attention each time a student answers or asks a question, the way his thick fingers glide through his tousled curls, the way his gaze always seems to come back to you. 

   Werewolf facts slip from his tongue. Their history, their patterns, their targets. One of your favorite creatures to learn about. Especially when it’s coming from him and his deep, magnetic voice.

   It’s like the room turns ten degrees hotter with every minute that passes. Sweat pricks behind the back of your neck, your thighs warm as you cross a leg over your knee, your black skirt of your dress hiking up a little too high, your heart thundering against your chest. 

   You’re a fucking mess because you’re watching him. Twitching, jittering, and shifting every other minute in your seat. He fucking loves to watch you squirm, too. You can see him smirking from the front of the classroom, and it’s all for you.

   “Can anyone tell me what’s the cure for a werewolf bite?” he asks, pacing the room back and forth, eyeing each student with a patient glance.

   His footsteps echo around the cascading room, his hands behind his back, a slight tick in his jaw when no one answers.

   “There’s a cure?” one of the students questions, heads whipping around to face the baffled third year with confusion written all over her innocent face.

   “Yes,” Joel says with a clipped tone. “C’mon. Think. What two things can cure a werewolf bite?”

   Nothing. Not even a peep comes from the copious amount of students in the room. Just eyes to the ground and awkward shifting in their seats. None of them know.

   “Collin?” Joel asks, standing in front of the blonde boy’s chair. His scared blue eyes give away that he’s intimidated and doesn’t know the answer.

   “Umm. I—ugh. Gillyweed?” he guesses, lifting his hopeful eyes when he thinks he may be right.

   “No,” Joel snaps. “Gillyweed allows you to breathe underwater. It does not cure a werewolf bite. Maybe read the text next time before class and then you’d know.” Joel narrows his eyes at Collin, and the scared third year looks down in shame. 

   God. He really intimidates everyone. Doesn’t he?

   “Think. What. Cures. The. Bite.” He accentuates every syllable, draws it out with a deep growl, narrows his eyes into thin slits when nobody can answer. He looks like he’s about to snap with how tight he’s holding his wand. But before he does, you decide to answer.

   “Silver and dittany,” you respond, and then the students turn with wide eyes. Right in your direction. You slide down in your chair just a little to alleviate the embarrassment of all eyes on you. 

   Joel turns to you and smirks, his eyes turning darker with every second that ticks by. It’s like he’s staring right through your soul, sucking it out until every single bit belongs to him. 

   “Clever girl,” he whispers. Just loud enough for you to hear because it was meant directly for you, not the class. His eyes flash onyx as he stares your way, heat rising in your cheeks. But in the next second, his eyes are elsewhere. 

   “Could learn a thing or two if you paid attention to your professor in Herbology,” he growls, the closed windows rumbling as his deep voice booms through the large corridor. It’s enough to make goosebumps prickle down the length of your arms.

   The students shake and quiver in their seats, eyes casted down to the dark material of the floor. And in the next five minutes, Joel’s dismissing them.

   “Remember, read chapters ten through twelve before the end of the week. And for the love of Salazar, pay attention in your classes. All of them. Class dismissed,” he clips, teeth bared and jaw clenched.

   The students hurry and filter out of the classroom, black robes flying as they scurry off out of the wrath of Professor Miller. 

   As you get up to make your way out to the hall, he stops you. “Not you.” His deep voice sends shivers down your spine.

   You freeze, just a few feet from the doorway. And then he takes his wand and shuts the heavy doors with a bang that makes you jump from the sound.

   Alone. You’re alone with him. In his classroom, on his free hour. And suddenly, the room is stifling.

   “So. You like to listen in on my lessons now, don’t ya?” he asks, crossing his strong arms over his broad chest, large biceps clinging to the white button-up shirt, his green striped tie loose around his neck.

   “I—uhh.” You’re all of a sudden completely speechless as he stands in front of you, his woodsy scent making you dizzy with need.

   “You don’t gotta play coy, sweetheart. Know you sit out there listenin’ all the time,” he smiles, flashing his white teeth and making you blush at the name sweetheart.

   His Southern drawl always made you a little worked up.

   “Why didn’t you say anything then if you knew?” you ask, eyebrows threaded together, lips pursed tight. 

   “Figured I’d jus’ let ya indulge. If you know what I mean,” he smirks, giving you a seductive wink that sends heat to your cheeks.

   He’s always so fucking cunning. Quick comebacks that could send you down to your knees. Maybe that’s what he wants.

   “You’re unbelievable. You know that?” you spit, hands on your hips, waiting for him to say something smart back.

   “Am I?” He quirks a brow, steps closer where you can practically taste his strong cologne. And that’s it. You’re so done for.

   “Yes.” You stand your ground firm. Eyes icy as you look at his fiery ones.

   Jesus. The man could burn this entire castle down with one stare.

   “How so?” he asks curiously, eyeing you with heightened interest.

   “Why don’t you ask Priscilla? You know, since she’s always hanging around you.” You roll your eyes, shake your head, and throw your hair behind your shoulders with a glare. Like that’ll show him you mean business.

   “Don’t do that,” he says quietly, brown eyes trained on you. 

   “Don’t do what?” you ask, anger boiling on the back of your tongue. 

   “Stop bein’ fuckin’ jealous,” he growls, his large hands hovering over yours, heat simmering between the small space between the two of you. Just like a sweltering sauna. You can practically feel the flames licking at your skin. All over you.

   “Then stop flirting with her right in front of me,” you glower, eyes narrowed and teeth bared. He just laughs at you like you just said the funniest joke in the world. He can’t be fucking serious.

   “You know I only do it to get a rise out of you,” he smiles, painting your cheeks crimson at how smitten you feel when you see that deep dimple appear in the corner of his left cheek when he’s smiling. But nevertheless, he’s not getting off that easy. Not today, at least.

   “Oh, don’t I fucking know,” you scoff, your heel digging into the hard surface of the floor. Showing just how much he’s getting under your skin. 

   “You know, you’re pretty adorable when you’re all flustered. You know that?” He brushes the back of his palm against your jawline, barely touching you but setting you completely on fire.

   You bat his hand away, fix him with a tight-lipped scowl. “Flustered? That’s why you torture me day after day?”

   He nods his head and smirks, letting his big ego fly around the room like a barn owl. “Mhm. Like you all worked up. Probably makes you all hot and bothered, doesn't it? Bet you touch yourself at night jus’ thinkin’ of me.” And there’s that damn smirk. The one that’s got your stomach all tied in knots.

   “You’re such an asshole,” you scoff as you push at his broad chest, but he barely moves an inch. He’s like a thick brick wall that you just can’t seem to penetrate. No matter what you do. 

   “You fuckin’ love it, though,” he challenges, brown eyes turning into dreamy bedroom eyes.

   No, you’re not doing this. You’re not playing his game.

   “No. And I’m leaving.” You turn with the flip of your hair, stomping your way up the row of empty desks. And when your hand wraps around the gold-threaded doorknob, you feel the faint buzz of power permeate around your body.

   “The hell you are,” he growls. “Accio!” 

   It feels like an invisible string wraps around your entire body, and suddenly you’re being pulled back by a sharp tug. Your body whisks through the air, and you have no power to stop the force.

   He snakes his arms around your waist, tugging you against his broad chest, catching you before you go flying into his lavish desk. You gasp, the air knocked from your lungs as his warm breath fans over your lips. Green apples and whiskey serenade your senses, and suddenly you’re a ragdoll in his arms. There at his beck and call, whatever he needs. You’re done for.

   “That’s cheating,” you whisper, voice barely audibly as your throat closes up the closer he brings you against his large body.

   “It ain’t cheatin’. It’s called magic, sweetheart,” he winks, making an exaggerated groan pull from your lips. 

   He’s always so smooth. Like a cold glass of neat whiskey that runs straight to your stomach, ending in your core. 

   “What are you doing, Joel?” you sigh, giving up the fight. You stop shoving against him and relax, your body still against his.

   “Givin’ in,” he smiles, wrapping his arms tighter around your waist, one hand hovering against your lower back. Right at the end of the zipper of your dress.

   “Like you gave into Priscilla?” you spit out, narrowed eyes trained right on him. You’d love to give him a taste of his own medicine one of these days. Drive him crazy like he drives you mad every single fucking day.

   “Now hold on there,” he says with a pause, sliding one of his hands up to your wrist, holding it tight against his chest. “I never even laid a finger on Priscilla.”

   Your jaw drops, and you wag a finger at him. “You sure about that? Because she has a pretty loud mouth.”

   “She ain’t the one I want, sweetheart. And you should know that.” He fixes you with a deep stare. His eyes look like glowing, syrupy orbs. You’re pretty sure you want to get lost in them. Let them drag you down into their dark depths where you’ll never see daylight again.

   “Oh? And who is it that you want?” you whisper, voice suddenly shaky and nervous. 

   When he nods down toward you, you nearly crumble at his feet. “The only woman I wanna be touchin’ is the pretty Hufflepuff that’s all flustered in my arms.” His smile makes you lose your balance, but he just holds you tighter. Fingers curling against the soft cotton of your dress, burning your skin even from the layers that cover you. 

   He might as well cast Incendio on you. You’re already burning.

   “You’re such a tease,” you giggle, pushing him playfully in the chest, letting the soft fabric of his shirt cling to your skin.

   “That I am,” he chuckles, making you nearly hyperventilate at his cocky demeanor. He knows he’s slick; you’ll give him that.

   “I need to get to class,” you sigh, trying to break free of his grip, but he only holds you tighter. No escaping him.

   “No, you don’t. You don’t have class for another hour. And neither do I.”

   The sudden realization hits you like an oncoming train. He’s got you trapped in his web, ready to sink his teeth in you at any second.

   The dim lights seem to darken even more as the thick tension blows through the classroom. Silence takes over, and you’re left with nothing but your racing heartbeat and his shallow breath. Warmth pools through your core as you watch those smoldering brown eyes light your skin on fire.

   You’re wrecked.

   “Well, I just—.” You try to take a step back, but then his hands run down your arms slowly, goosebumps taking hold in every single place he leaves his mark. 

   “Why don’t you jus’ relax here for a bit? Can think of somethin’ to unwind that pretty mind of yours.”

   He starts slowly circling you. Calloused fingers running over your back. Warm breath blowing down the base of your neck. Lips brushing against the shell of your ear, causing you to gasp at the contact. 

   “I don’t think so, Joel. I—.” You stop talking the moment he moves your hair across your right shoulder. His lips drag down the side of your neck, barely grazing but enough to make warmth flood through your lace.

   “C’mon now. Know you want this. Know you want my touch.” He takes a hand and moves it around the front of your waist. “My fingers.” He brushes his hand lightly down your leg, dangerously close to your inner thigh. “My lips.” He molds his mouth around your collarbone and sucks, eliciting a moan from your lips.

   “Oh. That’s… oh.” He nips at your shoulder, pulling your sleeve down just enough to make contact with your skin. And fuck, it feels good.

   You want to run, say no, give him hell for the hell he’s given you. But you’re a moth drawn to the flame. And you have no will to say no to him. 

   “Give in, sweetheart. Give in to the dark side. Know you want to,” he whispers in the shell of your ear, leaving you breathless as the sweet incantations put a spell on you.

   “I uhh—yes…” you lull as he turns you around and pushes you back into the front of his desk. His large stature towering over you. Hands on either side of the desk, caging you into him.

   “Say it. Say you want this. That you want me.” His mouth hovers over yours, blows hot air where you can basically taste the whiskey that encompasses his tongue. And you feel it then. That thick bulge against your thigh. Letting you know just how hard he is for you. And fuck, you think you might pass out from how stifling the room is now.

   “I—.” He slowly cups the back of your thighs and lifts you up, right on the edge of his mahogany desk, legs dangling from the position. He takes his wand and starts spreading your legs until he’s standing between them, one hand skimming over the top of your shaking thigh. Then he throws his wand to the side of the desk, uses his hands to undress you. Starting with your skirt. He lifts it slowly over your hips, leaving you with your white lace panties exposed to the cool air, completely soaked through.

   He rakes a hand heavily down his mouth, eyes wide as he stares at the mess you’ve made. “Look at you. Fuckin’ soakin’ for me, sweetheart. This all for me?” he asks, his thumb brushing over your wet center, pressing against your slick-clothed folds.

   “Yes,” you whine as he slowly unzips the back, pushing the dress down until it’s a messy pile on the floor. He unclasps the matching lace bra, throwing that to the side, leaving your perky breasts on full display for him to indulge in.

   He licks his bottom lip seductively slow, practically drooling as he takes in the sight of you all sprawled out and bare for him. He’s never seen anything more beautiful in his life than the vision of you open and ready for him.

   His mouth drags down your throat, down your chest until his lips suctions to your breasts, tongue flicking the pebbled nipples, eliciting more slick in your lace panties.

   “Say you want this, sweetheart. Say you want me,” he breathes, slowly dropping to his knees like he’s worshiping a goddess, hands roaming up your inner thighs, teasing you relentlessly. He slips under your lace, one finger brushing over your clit. You’re a writhing mess beneath him at this point.

   “Oh, fuck. Yes. Want you. Need you, Professor Miller,” you mewl, bucking your hips up to get the friction you so desperately need.

   “Good girl,” he praises, slowly dragging your ruined lace to the floor, leaving you open and bare and dripping for him.

   “Fuck,” he curses, raking a hand down his scruff, eyes lust-blown as he takes you in nice and slow. He’s mesmerized by the beauty before him, and he’s memorizing every single detail about your glistening body. He thinks you’re a fucking angel. All pliant and ready for him. He’ll have you screaming his name in no time.

   From the carnal, possessive way he’s looking at you, you’re pretty sure he’ll save this memory for another time. Bottle it up so he can go back and watch it over and over again, until he sees nothing but you with every waking breath he breathes.

   He materializes in front of you, casting dark shadows all over the silhouette of the walls, tongue dragging up your inner thigh, his thumb teasing the outer edge of your drenched folds.

   “Fuck, Joel,” you mewl, bucking your hips up in the hopes of his lips landing on your mound.

   “Patience, baby. And call me Professor Miller. Love how it sounds falling off your pretty lips,” he chuckles, tongue barely scraping over your needy clit.

   You suck in a breath and grab the crown of his head, locking your fingers in his soft hair. Tousled sandy locks and glittering greys catching the light of the twinkling lamps floating in the room. He looks like a masterpiece.

   “Please, Professor Miller. Need you,” you beg, his hot breath fanning across your aching core. You’re burning for him. 

   “Yeah ya do. Dirty little Hufflepuff,” he chuckles, blowing a puff of warmth over your mound. Slick runs down your inner thighs, and his eyes blow into deep pools of black lust. “Think you might have a little Slytherin in you after all,” he smirks, gliding his thumb through your slick folds and eliciting a high-pitched whine from your mouth.

   “Slyther—ohhh,” you groan as he licks a thick stripe up the entirety of your core. 

   Suddenly, the room is spinning, and you can’t find your balance. You’ll just fall off the edge as long as Joel catches you. You think he will.

   “That’s right. Take it. Let the temptation consume you. Let me slither in and make you come undone,” he drawls out in a husky breath, making you moan at the sound of his deep timbre.

   It’s like you’re cast under a deep spell. Pulling you under, consuming you in copious amounts of pleasure, starlight flashing as your eyes roll back with every flick of his tongue to your puffy clit.

   He tugs you to the very edge of the smooth desk and wraps his arms tightly around your thighs, stretching you open as he ravishes and drowns in the slick of your core. His experienced tongue lapping at your folds. His lips suction around your mound as he pulls you into his warm mouth, sucking and groaning with every taste of you. 

   You drag your nails over the wooden desk, throwing your head back with every lick, every taste he gives you. And God, you feel like you’re flying. His mouth, his tongue, his dirty words, his whole entire aura make you want to lose control. He’s everything all at once, and you don’t know how you’ll ever get enough of him now. 

   He coaxes you on, filling your ears with delicious praises. “Atta fuckin’ girl. Yeah, you like that. Don’t you, filthy Hufflepuff?”

   “Yeah…” you choke out, voice raspy as you delve into the feeling of his smooth tongue igniting a wildfire in your core.

   “Don’t be shy then, sweetheart. Let me hear you,” he demands as he lets go of your puffy clit with a pop, his tongue generously lapping at your drenched folds.

   “The door—we can’t…” you whine.

   He lifts off his knees, hovers his body against yours, and starts to work you as he slides his middle and ring finger inside your dripping hole. 

   Oh, fuck.

   “Door’s locked tight, sweetheart,” he smirks, lust-blown eyes locked on you, his lips brushing over yours.

   “They’ll—ohh. They’ll hear us.” His free hand slides up your waist as his body leans against the desk, his mouth roaming up the crook of your neck.

   “Nah, they won’t. Not when I placed a silencing charm on the room,” he chuckles as his tongue traces the slope of your ear, sending more slick down your thighs.

   Of course he fucking did. You didn’t even hear him cast one. He’s just… that good. 

   “C’mon, messy Hufflepuff. Want you to come for me,” he drawls, his fingers tantalizing and penetrating as he works them nice and slow inside you, knuckles deep in your slick. 

   Fuck.

   Squelching noises fill the room each time he works you over, searching for that one spot that’ll send you over the edge. But God, he found it. And now, he won’t fucking stop hitting that spongy wall that makes your legs shake and voice cry out in orgasmic pleasure.

   “Joel, I’m…”

   “Professor,” he whispers in your ear, his enchanting voice floating through your mind, pulling you over the edge. 

   “Professor—” you hum, your fingers pushing through the sandy hair at the base of his neck, mouth dropped as pleasure starts to rock through you uncontrollably.

   “Yes?” he asks with a bite to his deep voice.

   “I—I’m…”

   His plush lips caress the shell of your ear, his teeth nipping at the delicate skin. “Come for me, pretty girl. Say my name. Tell me who makes you feel good,” he whispers deliciously slow, his melodic voice making you fall apart. “Let go. C’mon, baby. Do it for me.”

   One more curl of his fingers and you’re coming undone. You clench around his thick fingers and let yourself spill for him, covering his knuckles in your slick while you moan his name. “Professor Miller!” It falls off your tongue and rings around the room, echoing back as you lose all control.

   “That’s my good girl,” he praises as he takes you over the edge, slowly working his fingers up and down, letting you ride out your orgasm as tidal waves collide in your body. 

   When the room stops spinning and your vision isn’t blurry anymore, you sit back and stare at him in awe. He’s got the biggest shit-eating grin on his face, obviously proud he made you just cum on his fingers. He’s waited so long to do it. All while teasing and tormenting you so he could make it that much better for you. 

   You should hate him, but you don’t. Oh no. You think you’re addicted to him now. 

   “That feel good?” he asks. His palm sliding over your thigh, thumb massaging slow circles into the crease of your skin. It feels… good — calming.

   He feels good.

   “Yeah. That was—nice,” you finish, eyes peeking up at him through your eyelashes. His eyes are nearly dazzling under the dim lights. Almost like there’s stars soaring through those gold-flecked irises. 

   You stare at each other for a minute, sitting in comfortable silence. And in the next moment, without thinking, you’re grabbing his emerald tie and pulling it toward you. Heat rises in the air as your fingertips scratch down his patchy scruff, indulging in his woodsy cologne. Your lips graze just slightly against his, and flames erupt in his eyes. 

   “Haven’t had enough?” he teases as he pulls your hair softly, lifting your face up to his. His lips brush softly against yours, and it’s like everything seems right in the world. 

   Your breath comes out hot and uneven as you stir beneath him, one arm snaking around the back of his neck. You haven’t tasted him yet, and you’ll be damned if you don’t take this chance. 

   You lift your chin just a smidge higher until you’re practically magnetized to him. “No, Professor Miller. Haven’t had enough yet,” you mewl out, your head dizzy and disoriented.

   He cups the back of your head and smiles, that devilish smirk curling against his mouth. “Then let me show you jus’ how good a Slytherin can make a Hufflepuff feel.”

   He pulls your lips to his and kisses you fiercely, passion consuming you whole. You kiss him back just as desperate, needing to be as close to him as possible. When you open your mouth and invite him in, whiskey and green apples envelop your tastebuds. And you swear you’ve never tasted a better combination. 

   As he pushes you down against his desk, papers fly off in scatters, glass crashes to the ground. Never mind that, he doesn’t even seem the least bit bothered. Right now, all he’s focused on is you. 

   He crawls over you, crowding you with his broad body, his hands roaming up and down your bare skin as if he wants to crawl inside himself, claim you as his own. 

   You frantically pull at his buttons while he helps you unfasten them, quickly throwing his shirt off and tossing it to the side. Dark hair splatters his tanned chest, his happy trail disappearing beneath his black slacks. And God, he’s as hard as a rock underneath. You can see the massive outline of him. 

   He rocks his hips against yours, tongues tangling together as you drink each other down. You could get drunk on the sweet taste of him. You’re pretty sure he’s better than any butter beer you’ve ever tasted. 

   Your body hums with desire, tension coiling in your stomach. You want him, need him like you need air to breathe. You want to feel him inside you. Grinding and thrusting until you combust around him. Until you feel his seed drip down your thighs. You’ve never wanted it this bad with anyone. But with Joel? You’ve never wanted anything more in your life.

   “Professor Miller, please,” you beg as you palm him through his slacks, an audible groan getting lost in between kisses. 

   “Tell me what you want, sweetheart. Wanna hear it,” he slurs as he nips at your lower lip.

   You find his top button and snap it open, finding his zipper next as you drag it down slowly. “Want you inside me, Professor,” you whisper provocatively, leaving your shyness behind just for the moment. 

   He winces as you reach in and start to work his massive cock up and down, spreading precum down his shaft. A quiet groan slips out of his mouth, and it’s the hottest thing you’ve ever heard in your life. “Fuck me. This little filthy Hufflepuff wants it bad, don’t she?” he grins, eyes dancing like moonlit stars. 

   He’s so fucking pretty. 

   “Mmm. Yes. Please. I need it. Need you,” you beg. 

   He shoves your hand out of the way and pins it above your head, shoving his slacks and boxers down until he’s completely naked above you. 

   You gawk at how massive he is. Thick, beautiful, long. Precum beads his swollen red tip. Large veins spiral like vines on the underside of his cock. He’s so big; you don’t know how he’ll fit. But you know he’ll make it fit. Stretch you until you can’t take anymore. 

   He’s going to absolutely ruin you, and you’ll let him. You want him to destroy you. 

   He lines the angry tip up with your sex, stroking it up and down along your folds, gathering your slick on his cock as you purr at the feeling. If this feels good then being inside you might end you.

   “Don’t worry, sweetheart. Gonna take real good care of this pretty Hufflepuff pussy,” he smirks darkly, eyes as black as coal. 

   He teases you slowly, dragging the tip through your folds. And when you’re about to beg for more, he thrusts deep inside with a low growl. 

   Your mouth drops open in awe as he stretches you to the max, working his thick length inside you over and over again until you start seeing stars in your vision. He’s so fucking big it feels like he’s splitting you in two; his pleasure driving yours to the finish line. 

   “Professor,” you moan as he thrusts deeper, kissing the back of your cervix. His large hands push your legs back against the wood of the desk, in a twisted pretzel shape. And when he snaps his hips again, you let out a guttural moan that doesn’t even sound like your lilty voice. 

   “That’s it. Let me hear you. Look so pretty with my cock deep inside you,” he chuckles as he drills into you as deep as he can, digging his way to your release. 

   “I—I…” Your voice fades off into a garbled mess as he fucks you relentlessly, speeding up his thrusts until the desk is shaking beneath you. 

   The squelching noises of his cock sliding in and out of your slick and the deep, gruff groans coming out of his mouth are almost barbaric. He’s completely wrecked just as you are. Two souls enchanted to run away in the darkness. Get lost in the indescribable pleasure of each other.

   You feel yourself nearing another climax as he licks his tongue inside your mouth, meeting yours in a dance you can’t stop. He swallows your moans with each snap of his hips, his fingers toying with your overstimulated clit until you’re gasping for breath underneath him. 

   He disconnects from your lips and stares at you with pitch black eyes, ready to consume all of you. “That’s it. That’s a good fuckin’ girl. Come on my cock. Let me feel you,” he whispers against the shell of your ear. And the sound of that deep, melodic tone makes you want to spill right then. 

   “I—Professor Miller. I’m gonna…”

   He drags his tongue along the edge of your ear and leans in close, his voice like silk. “C’mon, beautiful. Let go. Trust me. Feel me. Squeeze me. Show me how much I make you feel good. My pretty little Hufflepuff. My girl…”

   That right there sends you over. One more press of his thumb to your clit and you’re falling off the edge. It’s like a choir of angels surrounds the dark ceiling, your ears ringing as you cry his name at the top of your lungs. You can’t think, can’t speak. You can only writhe beneath him as you come back down to earth while he calls you a good girl over and over again. He could say it a hundred times, and you’d never tire of it. 

   “Fuck. That’s my good girl,” he praises, fucking into you harder. His breath ragged and untame. His curls stick to his sweat-coated forehead, his black eyes widen, and you feel him start to fall apart. 

   “I’m not gonna fuckin’ last much longer, sweetheart. Where do you want me?” he asks breathlessly. 

   “Inside me, Professor Miller,” you beg. At the sound of his name, he throws his head back and groans loudly as he spills his warm seed inside you. Painting your walls white with the Slytherin essence of him. Claiming you as his own. 

   He falls on his back against the side of the desk and pulls you tight against his chest. And then the two of you just breathe each other’s air until one of you is strong enough to push up from the dark mahogany desk. You’re the first one to move. 

   You quickly throw on your dress and cast a charm to freshen up. You don’t need your students knowing what you and the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor have been up to.

   Just as you start to smooth your hair out, you feel Joel brushing up against your back. His woodsy scent slithering its way down your spine, encapsulating your entire being as you start to fall into a deep trance again. You lean back and let him wrap his strong arms around your waist, his tempting lips kissing their way down the column of your neck. 

   “What are you doin’ later tonight?” he whispers smoothly, lingering his lips over your smooth skin. You feel his smoldering brown eyes piercing right through you, starting a fire deep in your core.

   If he doesn’t stop, you’ll end up right back where you were just seconds ago. On your back with Joel fucking Miller hovering over your body. Pulling you apart thread by thread. And you’d let him. God, you’d burn down this entire room and let him fuck you through the flames that licked at your skin. You’d burn for him.

   “Was going to lesson plan and maybe read a book,” you gulp as he spins you around, your speech suddenly slurring as he tempts you with dark eyes. Eyes that’ll swallow you whole.

   “Well, how ‘bout you lesson plan from my bed?” He quirks up a thick brow and plants a smug grin on his plush lips. Lips that taste like firewhisky. 

   “I don’t think I could get anything done there,” you laugh, a crimson blush staining your cheeks.

   “Not lesson plannin’, no. Maybe we could open the Chamber of Secrets. Get you moanin’ and speakin’ in tongues before the night is through,” he smirks devilishly, licking his bottom lip enticingly slow.

   God, he’s such a tease. 

   “You’re a bad, wicked man, Professor Miller.” You shake your head and fold your arms over your chest, taking a step back until he wraps a big hand around your wrist and pulls you back into his broad chest.

   “Don’t you forget it, baby,” he chuckles, fanning his hot breath over your lips. Drawing you in like a moth to a flame. 

   “You’re going to make me late for my next class,” you sigh, letting him gather you in his arms as his warmth consumes you. 

   “Then be late…” he whispers, brushing his lips over yours. Damn him and his plush, tempting lips. He tastes better than any sweet treat you’ve had in Hogsmeade.

   “You’re a bad influence on me,” you tsk, throwing your arms around his neck. Screw it. You’re already hooked on him. Might as well just give in to his lustful temptations.

   “Tryin’ to be,” he chuckles as he brushes a lock of hair behind the shell of your ear, lingering the back of his hand against your jawline. The tension suddenly thick around the dimly lit room once again. But really, it never left in the first place.

   You graze your lips against his and give him a lasting kiss, fingers tangled in the messy curls you so desperately love to lace your fingers through. It feels like velvet as the silvery strands comb through your fingers.

   You disconnect from his mouth and smile sweetly up at him, pushing off his strong chest. “Okay, handsome. I gotta go.”

   “See you tonight, pretty Hufflepuff.” He lingers his calloused fingers around your wrist and holds you there, just so he can memorize what you look like under the moonlit lamps of his classroom. He thinks you’re absolutely stunning.

   “Pretty, huh?” You give him a shy smile and feel your cheeks growing bright red.

   He nods, brown eyes alight with wonder. “Baby, you’re the most gorgeous creature I’ve ever laid eyes on.”

   Oh.

   “You’re not so bad looking yourself, handsome,” you smile as he brings your hand up to his lips, placing a swift kiss to the top of your knuckles. And there you go blushing again like a schoolgirl with a crush. 

   “Careful now. Start talkin’ like that, and I’ll jus’ have to make you mine,” he warns with a smirk, the crow’s feet making his eyes sparkle like onyx crystals as starlight dances across his pretty eyes. 

   “So make me yours…” you whisper, hand dropping to your side. 

   He chuckles and shakes his head, back of his hand skimming down your blush-coated cheek. “You’re already mine, beautiful girl.”

   “Yours…” you repeat in awe.

   “Mmm. Mine.” He lets you backup a couple steps, reluctant to let you go just yet. “See ya tonight, baby.”

   As you pace back to the door and hover your hand over the golden handle, you turn back to him and smile. “Try not to think about me too much until then, Professor Miller.” 

   He rakes a hand slowly through his tousled curls, adjusting his loose tie around his neck. “Oh, babygirl. That’s the only thing that’s gonna be on my mind till I see you.”

   His brown flecked eyes hold yours for just a few seconds and then you turn and walk out of the room, leaving behind the troublemaker that’s got your heart racing a million miles an hour. 

   You’re thoroughly, completely enraptured with Professor Miller. And you fear you won’t be able to get enough of him. 

   As you walk down the now stirring hallway, dodging chatty students, you think of those captivating dark eyes. Those smoldering, beautiful eyes. Just a few more hours until you’re in his arms again, until he’s making you come undone all over again. 

   You’d let him unravel you. Make you his with every touch, every kiss, every breath. You never expected to fall for a Slytherin but here you were. Tripping and stumbling to get one more taste of him. 

   You’d never get enough. This Hufflepuff belonged to a Slytherin now. Professor Miller. The bad boy who got the good girl. 

   He was your Amortentia, and you were his.

You just- YOU JUST KNOW! YOU KNOW JUST HOW TO WRITE A TEASING BASTARD!! Professor Joel isn't something I thought i needed, but Fuck I need him so badly.

✨Fall Into the Dark With Me✨

Dark Arts Professor! Joel Miller x Herbology Professor Fem! reader

A/N: I have had this idea for the longest time to mix the two things I love the most together. I hope you love it as much as I do! Hogwarts AU with Joel Miller was the best idea I’ve had in a while. He is an absolute menace in this, and I love him very much 🥰 Thank you to @jennaispunk for beta reading!

Summary: You’ve had your eyes on the new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor for a while. Just like he’s had his eyes on you. He’s a sly, sneaky, teasing Slytherin, and you’re a shy, meek Hufflepuff. Will your little flirting game suddenly lead to more once he gets you alone in a room?

Rating: Explicit 18+ MDNI

Word Count: 7.9k

Tags: Slytherin! Joel, Hufflepuff! reader, relentless teasing, flirting, pining, Joel is a menace, no use y/n, Hogwarts AU, Joel has a dirty mouth, oral (fem! receiving), unprotected piv, creampie, porn with plot, Harry Potter spells and references, no outbreak au, Dark Arts! Joel

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

  August blew in as fast as the hot summer breeze slipped out of reach. No more cozy afternoons curled up on your plush couch with your cat. You were back to big green open lands, back to the scents of willow trees and butterbeer, back to Hogwarts. Home for the next school year. 

   The thing was, you weren’t prepared for what awaited you behind those grand castle walls this semester, not even a little bit. You weren’t prepared for him. 

   Joel Miller, the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, the absolute bane of your existence. Ever since you locked eyes with him that first time in the Great Hall, you couldn’t get those gorgeous brown irises out of your head. 

   He was a menace; you could just tell. You knew the moment you saw that smug smirk on his face, those tousled grey flecked curls you could lace your fingers through, that patchy salt-and-pepper beard that you imagined might feel so good trailing down the skin of your neck with plush lips teasing across your body. 

   It was the way he carried himself. Like he owned every single damn room he walked into. Button-up silky shirts that he rolled up to his elbows, exposing those long, corded veins that skated down his tanned forearms. But let’s not forget the emerald snake tattoo that slithered its way around his forearm, accentuating the tanned skin that glowed almost golden under the warm, sunlit skies. Marking his Slytherin blood with ink. And those hands. Big, thick fingers that he’d wrap around his dark brown dragon heartstring wand as he chanted spells inside his classroom. And the way his eyes always seemed to shift toward yours in a crowded room. Those dark brown coffee-colored eyes that seemed to put you under a hypnotic spell. 

   He was trouble. You knew it, too. 

   It all started that first day, after that first heated stare at the sorting ceremony. He couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off you for the entire night. He didn’t hide it either. And then it was the casual grazing of hands in crowded halls, the flirtatious smiles and winks across the dining hall, the small conversations in the outside gardens as he’d slip a green apple from his pocket and slowly take a bite out of it. His eyes never leaving yours as they devoured you. Just like you’d wish he’d do to your skin, your lips, your flustered core. 

   He knew what he was doing, he knew damn well. 

   It was just a flirtatious banter between a tall, handsome Slytherin and a shy, gentle Hufflepuff. One a Dark Arts professor, the other a Herbology professor. It was only casual conversations and the occasional grazing of hands. Until it wasn’t. 

   No. Then he started taunting you, playing petty games. The hard-to-get kind of games. 

   One of the assistant professors, Priscilla Wilson, would always try to get attention from Professor Miller. Finding any reason to reach over and brush her fingers over his broad shoulders. Flip her long, fiery red hair, bat her long eyelashes, giggle every time he gives in to her flirting and winks over at her, making her nearly fall out of her seat. And every single time he’d entertain her, he’d look your way and fucking smirk at you. 

   Fucking smirk.

   Smug bastard. You just want to slap the stupid smirk off his face, but you also just really want to fucking kiss it off. 

   You’re so royally fucked.

   He loves to tease you. Loves to put you right on the edge where you’ll either lash out and call him on his bluff, or just scoff and brush it off your shoulder like a Cornish Pixie. 

   He knows damn well it gets you all flustered. Cheeks red, hot breath blowing from your mouth, pursed lips as he smirks your way while other women fawn over him. Drool practically hanging from their gawking mouths. You can practically feel the pride he wears inside that broad chest of his. Brown eyes narrowed while he dares you to do anything about it. He knows you won’t. Knows you’re better than to give in to his little tricks. So you just take it and stomp out of the room. Every single time while his devious chuckle floats through the room, right into your ears. 

   Well, he’d gotten into your head long ago. You gave in to the temptation of his smoldering brown eyes, the playful smirks that curl across his plush lips, that fucking Southern accent that drives you up the walls when you’re in your bed late at night. 

   He’s poisoned you. Enchanted you with his cunning Slytherin ways. Handsome, ambitious, prideful, strong, mischievous, smoldering. That’s exactly why you slip your hand under the cool sheets night after night. Fingers curling up inside you, thumb stroking light circles over your needy clit, moaning his name, pretending that it’s him under your sheets taking you over the edge. 

   His hands, his fingers, his filthy words, his mouth, his cock, his everything giving you orgasm after orgasm. And when you’re finished, sweat coating every inch of your skin, you feel breathless and dirty. 

   This is what he wants. You all hot and bothered for him. Well, he won because you’re already completely smitten for the Slytherin man. 

   And one day, he’ll give in to you, too. 

   The cool air whips past your hair as students shuffle by in the busy hall, rushing so they won’t be late to their classes. Large, cascading open windows filter sunlight through the massive hallway, historical paintings fill the stone walls, towering archways pave every corner, wafts of autumn leaves and pumpkins marinate through the air. 

   Hogwarts is peaceful, and this place is magical.

   As the last of the students disappear down corridors and hurry into classrooms, you’re suddenly alone in the hallway. No noise except for the classroom in front of you. But it’s not just any classroom. 

   It’s the Dark Arts classroom. Joel’s classroom. 

   You lean against the stony wall, wait until all the students quiet down. Eventually, Joel shuts them up and then there’s nothing but his deep, Southern drawl filling the room, filtering out just enough in the hall for you to sit and listen. 

   You do this often. More like every other day. Sitting outside his classroom, listening to his melodic voice teaching about his passion. He’s always had a love for the Dark Arts and now, so do you. 

   As you lean against the edge of the doorway, back against the stone-covered wall, you seem to get lost in the deep drawl of his voice like an enchanted siren. You could listen to him for hours on end. He’s good at what he does. Smart, cunning, brilliant. 

   And by brilliant, you mean he’s wiser than some of the ghosts that lurk these castle corridors. Some people even whisper that he can speak Parseltongue. And you don’t doubt it for one second. The man would open the Chamber of Secrets if someone would let him. 

   But Joel doesn’t need permission from anyone. He does what he wants, when he wants, and who he wants. You just wish that someone was you. 

   You sigh as you lean against the wall, panting every time he starts lecturing on different subjects about the Dark Arts. Today, he’s teaching about werewolves. And that is a subject you happen to find quite fascinating. 

   “Miss Flora, can you tell me how—.”

   You shift your weight and lose your balance, almost tumbling to the polished floor until you grab ahold of the silver-edged door and stop yourself. 

   The classroom grows silent and so does Joel’s bravado voice. 

   Shit. You just got caught red handed. 

   “Think we’ve got a straggler out in the hall. Think they should come in. Don’t you, students?” You hear the smirk in his voice. Like he knows it’s you. But how would he know…

   Oh, right. Because he’s the smartest fucking professor at this school. 

   When he clears his throat, you know you won’t be able to weasel your way out of this one. So, you take a hesitant step into the entrance of his classroom, and there he is. Big brown eyes narrowed just slightly and a smug smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth. 

   God, he’s so good looking.

   “Ahh. Professor. Care to join us?” he asks, stepping around his mahogany desk, tapping the tip of his dragon heartstring wand against the top of his thigh.

   That’s all it takes to have you weak in the knees. Because the way he’s looking at you tells you everything you need to know. He wants to pull your strings, make you shiver, make you pliable. And now’s the perfect opportunity where he can fluster you up without even fucking touching you. 

   Shit.

   “Take a seat,” he says, nodding to an open seat at the back of the room.

   You shake your head and take a step back, careful not to look straight into his brown eyes. “Oh, no. I shouldn’t interrupt. I was just—.” 

   “Sit. Down.” It’s not a question but a demand.

   You purse your lips and take the empty seat while several of the students snicker and whisper to each other. 

   Great. Now you’re really blushing. 

   You take a look around the classroom while Joel continues his lesson, flicking his wand to turn to the next slide overhead. The room is dim, curtains drawn so only the floating candles and twinkling lights from hanging lamps fill the room. A dragon’s skeleton is displayed in the back of the room, his mahogany desk covered in neat papers, dark artifacts, and ink quills. Banners of the forbidden forest and creatures of the black lake are spread high across the elegant stone walls. A dusty chandelier with glittering crystals tops off the room, painting golden sparkles on the ceiling. 

   The room is very him. Dark, divine, mysterious, gorgeous. It even fucking smells like him. Cedar wood, mahogany, green apples, whiskey. The room has his trademark all over it.

   You sit back against the wooden chair and watch the way he commands a room. The slight flick of his wand every time he paces back and forth, his rapt attention each time a student answers or asks a question, the way his thick fingers glide through his tousled curls, the way his gaze always seems to come back to you. 

   Werewolf facts slip from his tongue. Their history, their patterns, their targets. One of your favorite creatures to learn about. Especially when it’s coming from him and his deep, magnetic voice.

   It’s like the room turns ten degrees hotter with every minute that passes. Sweat pricks behind the back of your neck, your thighs warm as you cross a leg over your knee, your black skirt of your dress hiking up a little too high, your heart thundering against your chest. 

   You’re a fucking mess because you’re watching him. Twitching, jittering, and shifting every other minute in your seat. He fucking loves to watch you squirm, too. You can see him smirking from the front of the classroom, and it’s all for you.

   “Can anyone tell me what’s the cure for a werewolf bite?” he asks, pacing the room back and forth, eyeing each student with a patient glance.

   His footsteps echo around the cascading room, his hands behind his back, a slight tick in his jaw when no one answers.

   “There’s a cure?” one of the students questions, heads whipping around to face the baffled third year with confusion written all over her innocent face.

   “Yes,” Joel says with a clipped tone. “C’mon. Think. What two things can cure a werewolf bite?”

   Nothing. Not even a peep comes from the copious amount of students in the room. Just eyes to the ground and awkward shifting in their seats. None of them know.

   “Collin?” Joel asks, standing in front of the blonde boy’s chair. His scared blue eyes give away that he’s intimidated and doesn’t know the answer.

   “Umm. I—ugh. Gillyweed?” he guesses, lifting his hopeful eyes when he thinks he may be right.

   “No,” Joel snaps. “Gillyweed allows you to breathe underwater. It does not cure a werewolf bite. Maybe read the text next time before class and then you’d know.” Joel narrows his eyes at Collin, and the scared third year looks down in shame. 

   God. He really intimidates everyone. Doesn’t he?

   “Think. What. Cures. The. Bite.” He accentuates every syllable, draws it out with a deep growl, narrows his eyes into thin slits when nobody can answer. He looks like he’s about to snap with how tight he’s holding his wand. But before he does, you decide to answer.

   “Silver and dittany,” you respond, and then the students turn with wide eyes. Right in your direction. You slide down in your chair just a little to alleviate the embarrassment of all eyes on you. 

   Joel turns to you and smirks, his eyes turning darker with every second that ticks by. It’s like he’s staring right through your soul, sucking it out until every single bit belongs to him. 

   “Clever girl,” he whispers. Just loud enough for you to hear because it was meant directly for you, not the class. His eyes flash onyx as he stares your way, heat rising in your cheeks. But in the next second, his eyes are elsewhere. 

   “Could learn a thing or two if you paid attention to your professor in Herbology,” he growls, the closed windows rumbling as his deep voice booms through the large corridor. It’s enough to make goosebumps prickle down the length of your arms.

   The students shake and quiver in their seats, eyes casted down to the dark material of the floor. And in the next five minutes, Joel’s dismissing them.

   “Remember, read chapters ten through twelve before the end of the week. And for the love of Salazar, pay attention in your classes. All of them. Class dismissed,” he clips, teeth bared and jaw clenched.

   The students hurry and filter out of the classroom, black robes flying as they scurry off out of the wrath of Professor Miller. 

   As you get up to make your way out to the hall, he stops you. “Not you.” His deep voice sends shivers down your spine.

   You freeze, just a few feet from the doorway. And then he takes his wand and shuts the heavy doors with a bang that makes you jump from the sound.

   Alone. You’re alone with him. In his classroom, on his free hour. And suddenly, the room is stifling.

   “So. You like to listen in on my lessons now, don’t ya?” he asks, crossing his strong arms over his broad chest, large biceps clinging to the white button-up shirt, his green striped tie loose around his neck.

   “I—uhh.” You’re all of a sudden completely speechless as he stands in front of you, his woodsy scent making you dizzy with need.

   “You don’t gotta play coy, sweetheart. Know you sit out there listenin’ all the time,” he smiles, flashing his white teeth and making you blush at the name sweetheart.

   His Southern drawl always made you a little worked up.

   “Why didn’t you say anything then if you knew?” you ask, eyebrows threaded together, lips pursed tight. 

   “Figured I’d jus’ let ya indulge. If you know what I mean,” he smirks, giving you a seductive wink that sends heat to your cheeks.

   He’s always so fucking cunning. Quick comebacks that could send you down to your knees. Maybe that’s what he wants.

   “You’re unbelievable. You know that?” you spit, hands on your hips, waiting for him to say something smart back.

   “Am I?” He quirks a brow, steps closer where you can practically taste his strong cologne. And that’s it. You’re so done for.

   “Yes.” You stand your ground firm. Eyes icy as you look at his fiery ones.

   Jesus. The man could burn this entire castle down with one stare.

   “How so?” he asks curiously, eyeing you with heightened interest.

   “Why don’t you ask Priscilla? You know, since she’s always hanging around you.” You roll your eyes, shake your head, and throw your hair behind your shoulders with a glare. Like that’ll show him you mean business.

   “Don’t do that,” he says quietly, brown eyes trained on you. 

   “Don’t do what?” you ask, anger boiling on the back of your tongue. 

   “Stop bein’ fuckin’ jealous,” he growls, his large hands hovering over yours, heat simmering between the small space between the two of you. Just like a sweltering sauna. You can practically feel the flames licking at your skin. All over you.

   “Then stop flirting with her right in front of me,” you glower, eyes narrowed and teeth bared. He just laughs at you like you just said the funniest joke in the world. He can’t be fucking serious.

   “You know I only do it to get a rise out of you,” he smiles, painting your cheeks crimson at how smitten you feel when you see that deep dimple appear in the corner of his left cheek when he’s smiling. But nevertheless, he’s not getting off that easy. Not today, at least.

   “Oh, don’t I fucking know,” you scoff, your heel digging into the hard surface of the floor. Showing just how much he’s getting under your skin. 

   “You know, you’re pretty adorable when you’re all flustered. You know that?” He brushes the back of his palm against your jawline, barely touching you but setting you completely on fire.

   You bat his hand away, fix him with a tight-lipped scowl. “Flustered? That’s why you torture me day after day?”

   He nods his head and smirks, letting his big ego fly around the room like a barn owl. “Mhm. Like you all worked up. Probably makes you all hot and bothered, doesn't it? Bet you touch yourself at night jus’ thinkin’ of me.” And there’s that damn smirk. The one that’s got your stomach all tied in knots.

   “You’re such an asshole,” you scoff as you push at his broad chest, but he barely moves an inch. He’s like a thick brick wall that you just can’t seem to penetrate. No matter what you do. 

   “You fuckin’ love it, though,” he challenges, brown eyes turning into dreamy bedroom eyes.

   No, you’re not doing this. You’re not playing his game.

   “No. And I’m leaving.” You turn with the flip of your hair, stomping your way up the row of empty desks. And when your hand wraps around the gold-threaded doorknob, you feel the faint buzz of power permeate around your body.

   “The hell you are,” he growls. “Accio!” 

   It feels like an invisible string wraps around your entire body, and suddenly you’re being pulled back by a sharp tug. Your body whisks through the air, and you have no power to stop the force.

   He snakes his arms around your waist, tugging you against his broad chest, catching you before you go flying into his lavish desk. You gasp, the air knocked from your lungs as his warm breath fans over your lips. Green apples and whiskey serenade your senses, and suddenly you’re a ragdoll in his arms. There at his beck and call, whatever he needs. You’re done for.

   “That’s cheating,” you whisper, voice barely audibly as your throat closes up the closer he brings you against his large body.

   “It ain’t cheatin’. It’s called magic, sweetheart,” he winks, making an exaggerated groan pull from your lips. 

   He’s always so smooth. Like a cold glass of neat whiskey that runs straight to your stomach, ending in your core. 

   “What are you doing, Joel?” you sigh, giving up the fight. You stop shoving against him and relax, your body still against his.

   “Givin’ in,” he smiles, wrapping his arms tighter around your waist, one hand hovering against your lower back. Right at the end of the zipper of your dress.

   “Like you gave into Priscilla?” you spit out, narrowed eyes trained right on him. You’d love to give him a taste of his own medicine one of these days. Drive him crazy like he drives you mad every single fucking day.

   “Now hold on there,” he says with a pause, sliding one of his hands up to your wrist, holding it tight against his chest. “I never even laid a finger on Priscilla.”

   Your jaw drops, and you wag a finger at him. “You sure about that? Because she has a pretty loud mouth.”

   “She ain’t the one I want, sweetheart. And you should know that.” He fixes you with a deep stare. His eyes look like glowing, syrupy orbs. You’re pretty sure you want to get lost in them. Let them drag you down into their dark depths where you’ll never see daylight again.

   “Oh? And who is it that you want?” you whisper, voice suddenly shaky and nervous. 

   When he nods down toward you, you nearly crumble at his feet. “The only woman I wanna be touchin’ is the pretty Hufflepuff that’s all flustered in my arms.” His smile makes you lose your balance, but he just holds you tighter. Fingers curling against the soft cotton of your dress, burning your skin even from the layers that cover you. 

   He might as well cast Incendio on you. You’re already burning.

   “You’re such a tease,” you giggle, pushing him playfully in the chest, letting the soft fabric of his shirt cling to your skin.

   “That I am,” he chuckles, making you nearly hyperventilate at his cocky demeanor. He knows he’s slick; you’ll give him that.

   “I need to get to class,” you sigh, trying to break free of his grip, but he only holds you tighter. No escaping him.

   “No, you don’t. You don’t have class for another hour. And neither do I.”

   The sudden realization hits you like an oncoming train. He’s got you trapped in his web, ready to sink his teeth in you at any second.

   The dim lights seem to darken even more as the thick tension blows through the classroom. Silence takes over, and you’re left with nothing but your racing heartbeat and his shallow breath. Warmth pools through your core as you watch those smoldering brown eyes light your skin on fire.

   You’re wrecked.

   “Well, I just—.” You try to take a step back, but then his hands run down your arms slowly, goosebumps taking hold in every single place he leaves his mark. 

   “Why don’t you jus’ relax here for a bit? Can think of somethin’ to unwind that pretty mind of yours.”

   He starts slowly circling you. Calloused fingers running over your back. Warm breath blowing down the base of your neck. Lips brushing against the shell of your ear, causing you to gasp at the contact. 

   “I don’t think so, Joel. I—.” You stop talking the moment he moves your hair across your right shoulder. His lips drag down the side of your neck, barely grazing but enough to make warmth flood through your lace.

   “C’mon now. Know you want this. Know you want my touch.” He takes a hand and moves it around the front of your waist. “My fingers.” He brushes his hand lightly down your leg, dangerously close to your inner thigh. “My lips.” He molds his mouth around your collarbone and sucks, eliciting a moan from your lips.

   “Oh. That’s… oh.” He nips at your shoulder, pulling your sleeve down just enough to make contact with your skin. And fuck, it feels good.

   You want to run, say no, give him hell for the hell he’s given you. But you’re a moth drawn to the flame. And you have no will to say no to him. 

   “Give in, sweetheart. Give in to the dark side. Know you want to,” he whispers in the shell of your ear, leaving you breathless as the sweet incantations put a spell on you.

   “I uhh—yes…” you lull as he turns you around and pushes you back into the front of his desk. His large stature towering over you. Hands on either side of the desk, caging you into him.

   “Say it. Say you want this. That you want me.” His mouth hovers over yours, blows hot air where you can basically taste the whiskey that encompasses his tongue. And you feel it then. That thick bulge against your thigh. Letting you know just how hard he is for you. And fuck, you think you might pass out from how stifling the room is now.

   “I—.” He slowly cups the back of your thighs and lifts you up, right on the edge of his mahogany desk, legs dangling from the position. He takes his wand and starts spreading your legs until he’s standing between them, one hand skimming over the top of your shaking thigh. Then he throws his wand to the side of the desk, uses his hands to undress you. Starting with your skirt. He lifts it slowly over your hips, leaving you with your white lace panties exposed to the cool air, completely soaked through.

   He rakes a hand heavily down his mouth, eyes wide as he stares at the mess you’ve made. “Look at you. Fuckin’ soakin’ for me, sweetheart. This all for me?” he asks, his thumb brushing over your wet center, pressing against your slick-clothed folds.

   “Yes,” you whine as he slowly unzips the back, pushing the dress down until it’s a messy pile on the floor. He unclasps the matching lace bra, throwing that to the side, leaving your perky breasts on full display for him to indulge in.

   He licks his bottom lip seductively slow, practically drooling as he takes in the sight of you all sprawled out and bare for him. He’s never seen anything more beautiful in his life than the vision of you open and ready for him.

   His mouth drags down your throat, down your chest until his lips suctions to your breasts, tongue flicking the pebbled nipples, eliciting more slick in your lace panties.

   “Say you want this, sweetheart. Say you want me,” he breathes, slowly dropping to his knees like he’s worshiping a goddess, hands roaming up your inner thighs, teasing you relentlessly. He slips under your lace, one finger brushing over your clit. You’re a writhing mess beneath him at this point.

   “Oh, fuck. Yes. Want you. Need you, Professor Miller,” you mewl, bucking your hips up to get the friction you so desperately need.

   “Good girl,” he praises, slowly dragging your ruined lace to the floor, leaving you open and bare and dripping for him.

   “Fuck,” he curses, raking a hand down his scruff, eyes lust-blown as he takes you in nice and slow. He’s mesmerized by the beauty before him, and he’s memorizing every single detail about your glistening body. He thinks you’re a fucking angel. All pliant and ready for him. He’ll have you screaming his name in no time.

   From the carnal, possessive way he’s looking at you, you’re pretty sure he’ll save this memory for another time. Bottle it up so he can go back and watch it over and over again, until he sees nothing but you with every waking breath he breathes.

   He materializes in front of you, casting dark shadows all over the silhouette of the walls, tongue dragging up your inner thigh, his thumb teasing the outer edge of your drenched folds.

   “Fuck, Joel,” you mewl, bucking your hips up in the hopes of his lips landing on your mound.

   “Patience, baby. And call me Professor Miller. Love how it sounds falling off your pretty lips,” he chuckles, tongue barely scraping over your needy clit.

   You suck in a breath and grab the crown of his head, locking your fingers in his soft hair. Tousled sandy locks and glittering greys catching the light of the twinkling lamps floating in the room. He looks like a masterpiece.

   “Please, Professor Miller. Need you,” you beg, his hot breath fanning across your aching core. You’re burning for him. 

   “Yeah ya do. Dirty little Hufflepuff,” he chuckles, blowing a puff of warmth over your mound. Slick runs down your inner thighs, and his eyes blow into deep pools of black lust. “Think you might have a little Slytherin in you after all,” he smirks, gliding his thumb through your slick folds and eliciting a high-pitched whine from your mouth.

   “Slyther—ohhh,” you groan as he licks a thick stripe up the entirety of your core. 

   Suddenly, the room is spinning, and you can’t find your balance. You’ll just fall off the edge as long as Joel catches you. You think he will.

   “That’s right. Take it. Let the temptation consume you. Let me slither in and make you come undone,” he drawls out in a husky breath, making you moan at the sound of his deep timbre.

   It’s like you’re cast under a deep spell. Pulling you under, consuming you in copious amounts of pleasure, starlight flashing as your eyes roll back with every flick of his tongue to your puffy clit.

   He tugs you to the very edge of the smooth desk and wraps his arms tightly around your thighs, stretching you open as he ravishes and drowns in the slick of your core. His experienced tongue lapping at your folds. His lips suction around your mound as he pulls you into his warm mouth, sucking and groaning with every taste of you. 

   You drag your nails over the wooden desk, throwing your head back with every lick, every taste he gives you. And God, you feel like you’re flying. His mouth, his tongue, his dirty words, his whole entire aura make you want to lose control. He’s everything all at once, and you don’t know how you’ll ever get enough of him now. 

   He coaxes you on, filling your ears with delicious praises. “Atta fuckin’ girl. Yeah, you like that. Don’t you, filthy Hufflepuff?”

   “Yeah…” you choke out, voice raspy as you delve into the feeling of his smooth tongue igniting a wildfire in your core.

   “Don’t be shy then, sweetheart. Let me hear you,” he demands as he lets go of your puffy clit with a pop, his tongue generously lapping at your drenched folds.

   “The door—we can’t…” you whine.

   He lifts off his knees, hovers his body against yours, and starts to work you as he slides his middle and ring finger inside your dripping hole. 

   Oh, fuck.

   “Door’s locked tight, sweetheart,” he smirks, lust-blown eyes locked on you, his lips brushing over yours.

   “They’ll—ohh. They’ll hear us.” His free hand slides up your waist as his body leans against the desk, his mouth roaming up the crook of your neck.

   “Nah, they won’t. Not when I placed a silencing charm on the room,” he chuckles as his tongue traces the slope of your ear, sending more slick down your thighs.

   Of course he fucking did. You didn’t even hear him cast one. He’s just… that good. 

   “C’mon, messy Hufflepuff. Want you to come for me,” he drawls, his fingers tantalizing and penetrating as he works them nice and slow inside you, knuckles deep in your slick. 

   Fuck.

   Squelching noises fill the room each time he works you over, searching for that one spot that’ll send you over the edge. But God, he found it. And now, he won’t fucking stop hitting that spongy wall that makes your legs shake and voice cry out in orgasmic pleasure.

   “Joel, I’m…”

   “Professor,” he whispers in your ear, his enchanting voice floating through your mind, pulling you over the edge. 

   “Professor—” you hum, your fingers pushing through the sandy hair at the base of his neck, mouth dropped as pleasure starts to rock through you uncontrollably.

   “Yes?” he asks with a bite to his deep voice.

   “I—I’m…”

   His plush lips caress the shell of your ear, his teeth nipping at the delicate skin. “Come for me, pretty girl. Say my name. Tell me who makes you feel good,” he whispers deliciously slow, his melodic voice making you fall apart. “Let go. C’mon, baby. Do it for me.”

   One more curl of his fingers and you’re coming undone. You clench around his thick fingers and let yourself spill for him, covering his knuckles in your slick while you moan his name. “Professor Miller!” It falls off your tongue and rings around the room, echoing back as you lose all control.

   “That’s my good girl,” he praises as he takes you over the edge, slowly working his fingers up and down, letting you ride out your orgasm as tidal waves collide in your body. 

   When the room stops spinning and your vision isn’t blurry anymore, you sit back and stare at him in awe. He’s got the biggest shit-eating grin on his face, obviously proud he made you just cum on his fingers. He’s waited so long to do it. All while teasing and tormenting you so he could make it that much better for you. 

   You should hate him, but you don’t. Oh no. You think you’re addicted to him now. 

   “That feel good?” he asks. His palm sliding over your thigh, thumb massaging slow circles into the crease of your skin. It feels… good — calming.

   He feels good.

   “Yeah. That was—nice,” you finish, eyes peeking up at him through your eyelashes. His eyes are nearly dazzling under the dim lights. Almost like there’s stars soaring through those gold-flecked irises. 

   You stare at each other for a minute, sitting in comfortable silence. And in the next moment, without thinking, you’re grabbing his emerald tie and pulling it toward you. Heat rises in the air as your fingertips scratch down his patchy scruff, indulging in his woodsy cologne. Your lips graze just slightly against his, and flames erupt in his eyes. 

   “Haven’t had enough?” he teases as he pulls your hair softly, lifting your face up to his. His lips brush softly against yours, and it’s like everything seems right in the world. 

   Your breath comes out hot and uneven as you stir beneath him, one arm snaking around the back of his neck. You haven’t tasted him yet, and you’ll be damned if you don’t take this chance. 

   You lift your chin just a smidge higher until you’re practically magnetized to him. “No, Professor Miller. Haven’t had enough yet,” you mewl out, your head dizzy and disoriented.

   He cups the back of your head and smiles, that devilish smirk curling against his mouth. “Then let me show you jus’ how good a Slytherin can make a Hufflepuff feel.”

   He pulls your lips to his and kisses you fiercely, passion consuming you whole. You kiss him back just as desperate, needing to be as close to him as possible. When you open your mouth and invite him in, whiskey and green apples envelop your tastebuds. And you swear you’ve never tasted a better combination. 

   As he pushes you down against his desk, papers fly off in scatters, glass crashes to the ground. Never mind that, he doesn’t even seem the least bit bothered. Right now, all he’s focused on is you. 

   He crawls over you, crowding you with his broad body, his hands roaming up and down your bare skin as if he wants to crawl inside himself, claim you as his own. 

   You frantically pull at his buttons while he helps you unfasten them, quickly throwing his shirt off and tossing it to the side. Dark hair splatters his tanned chest, his happy trail disappearing beneath his black slacks. And God, he’s as hard as a rock underneath. You can see the massive outline of him. 

   He rocks his hips against yours, tongues tangling together as you drink each other down. You could get drunk on the sweet taste of him. You’re pretty sure he’s better than any butter beer you’ve ever tasted. 

   Your body hums with desire, tension coiling in your stomach. You want him, need him like you need air to breathe. You want to feel him inside you. Grinding and thrusting until you combust around him. Until you feel his seed drip down your thighs. You’ve never wanted it this bad with anyone. But with Joel? You’ve never wanted anything more in your life.

   “Professor Miller, please,” you beg as you palm him through his slacks, an audible groan getting lost in between kisses. 

   “Tell me what you want, sweetheart. Wanna hear it,” he slurs as he nips at your lower lip.

   You find his top button and snap it open, finding his zipper next as you drag it down slowly. “Want you inside me, Professor,” you whisper provocatively, leaving your shyness behind just for the moment. 

   He winces as you reach in and start to work his massive cock up and down, spreading precum down his shaft. A quiet groan slips out of his mouth, and it’s the hottest thing you’ve ever heard in your life. “Fuck me. This little filthy Hufflepuff wants it bad, don’t she?” he grins, eyes dancing like moonlit stars. 

   He’s so fucking pretty. 

   “Mmm. Yes. Please. I need it. Need you,” you beg. 

   He shoves your hand out of the way and pins it above your head, shoving his slacks and boxers down until he’s completely naked above you. 

   You gawk at how massive he is. Thick, beautiful, long. Precum beads his swollen red tip. Large veins spiral like vines on the underside of his cock. He’s so big; you don’t know how he’ll fit. But you know he’ll make it fit. Stretch you until you can’t take anymore. 

   He’s going to absolutely ruin you, and you’ll let him. You want him to destroy you. 

   He lines the angry tip up with your sex, stroking it up and down along your folds, gathering your slick on his cock as you purr at the feeling. If this feels good then being inside you might end you.

   “Don’t worry, sweetheart. Gonna take real good care of this pretty Hufflepuff pussy,” he smirks darkly, eyes as black as coal. 

   He teases you slowly, dragging the tip through your folds. And when you’re about to beg for more, he thrusts deep inside with a low growl. 

   Your mouth drops open in awe as he stretches you to the max, working his thick length inside you over and over again until you start seeing stars in your vision. He’s so fucking big it feels like he’s splitting you in two; his pleasure driving yours to the finish line. 

   “Professor,” you moan as he thrusts deeper, kissing the back of your cervix. His large hands push your legs back against the wood of the desk, in a twisted pretzel shape. And when he snaps his hips again, you let out a guttural moan that doesn’t even sound like your lilty voice. 

   “That’s it. Let me hear you. Look so pretty with my cock deep inside you,” he chuckles as he drills into you as deep as he can, digging his way to your release. 

   “I—I…” Your voice fades off into a garbled mess as he fucks you relentlessly, speeding up his thrusts until the desk is shaking beneath you. 

   The squelching noises of his cock sliding in and out of your slick and the deep, gruff groans coming out of his mouth are almost barbaric. He’s completely wrecked just as you are. Two souls enchanted to run away in the darkness. Get lost in the indescribable pleasure of each other.

   You feel yourself nearing another climax as he licks his tongue inside your mouth, meeting yours in a dance you can’t stop. He swallows your moans with each snap of his hips, his fingers toying with your overstimulated clit until you’re gasping for breath underneath him. 

   He disconnects from your lips and stares at you with pitch black eyes, ready to consume all of you. “That’s it. That’s a good fuckin’ girl. Come on my cock. Let me feel you,” he whispers against the shell of your ear. And the sound of that deep, melodic tone makes you want to spill right then. 

   “I—Professor Miller. I’m gonna…”

   He drags his tongue along the edge of your ear and leans in close, his voice like silk. “C’mon, beautiful. Let go. Trust me. Feel me. Squeeze me. Show me how much I make you feel good. My pretty little Hufflepuff. My girl…”

   That right there sends you over. One more press of his thumb to your clit and you’re falling off the edge. It’s like a choir of angels surrounds the dark ceiling, your ears ringing as you cry his name at the top of your lungs. You can’t think, can’t speak. You can only writhe beneath him as you come back down to earth while he calls you a good girl over and over again. He could say it a hundred times, and you’d never tire of it. 

   “Fuck. That’s my good girl,” he praises, fucking into you harder. His breath ragged and untame. His curls stick to his sweat-coated forehead, his black eyes widen, and you feel him start to fall apart. 

   “I’m not gonna fuckin’ last much longer, sweetheart. Where do you want me?” he asks breathlessly. 

   “Inside me, Professor Miller,” you beg. At the sound of his name, he throws his head back and groans loudly as he spills his warm seed inside you. Painting your walls white with the Slytherin essence of him. Claiming you as his own. 

   He falls on his back against the side of the desk and pulls you tight against his chest. And then the two of you just breathe each other’s air until one of you is strong enough to push up from the dark mahogany desk. You’re the first one to move. 

   You quickly throw on your dress and cast a charm to freshen up. You don’t need your students knowing what you and the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor have been up to.

   Just as you start to smooth your hair out, you feel Joel brushing up against your back. His woodsy scent slithering its way down your spine, encapsulating your entire being as you start to fall into a deep trance again. You lean back and let him wrap his strong arms around your waist, his tempting lips kissing their way down the column of your neck. 

   “What are you doin’ later tonight?” he whispers smoothly, lingering his lips over your smooth skin. You feel his smoldering brown eyes piercing right through you, starting a fire deep in your core.

   If he doesn’t stop, you’ll end up right back where you were just seconds ago. On your back with Joel fucking Miller hovering over your body. Pulling you apart thread by thread. And you’d let him. God, you’d burn down this entire room and let him fuck you through the flames that licked at your skin. You’d burn for him.

   “Was going to lesson plan and maybe read a book,” you gulp as he spins you around, your speech suddenly slurring as he tempts you with dark eyes. Eyes that’ll swallow you whole.

   “Well, how ‘bout you lesson plan from my bed?” He quirks up a thick brow and plants a smug grin on his plush lips. Lips that taste like firewhisky. 

   “I don’t think I could get anything done there,” you laugh, a crimson blush staining your cheeks.

   “Not lesson plannin’, no. Maybe we could open the Chamber of Secrets. Get you moanin’ and speakin’ in tongues before the night is through,” he smirks devilishly, licking his bottom lip enticingly slow.

   God, he’s such a tease. 

   “You’re a bad, wicked man, Professor Miller.” You shake your head and fold your arms over your chest, taking a step back until he wraps a big hand around your wrist and pulls you back into his broad chest.

   “Don’t you forget it, baby,” he chuckles, fanning his hot breath over your lips. Drawing you in like a moth to a flame. 

   “You’re going to make me late for my next class,” you sigh, letting him gather you in his arms as his warmth consumes you. 

   “Then be late…” he whispers, brushing his lips over yours. Damn him and his plush, tempting lips. He tastes better than any sweet treat you’ve had in Hogsmeade.

   “You’re a bad influence on me,” you tsk, throwing your arms around his neck. Screw it. You’re already hooked on him. Might as well just give in to his lustful temptations.

   “Tryin’ to be,” he chuckles as he brushes a lock of hair behind the shell of your ear, lingering the back of his hand against your jawline. The tension suddenly thick around the dimly lit room once again. But really, it never left in the first place.

   You graze your lips against his and give him a lasting kiss, fingers tangled in the messy curls you so desperately love to lace your fingers through. It feels like velvet as the silvery strands comb through your fingers.

   You disconnect from his mouth and smile sweetly up at him, pushing off his strong chest. “Okay, handsome. I gotta go.”

   “See you tonight, pretty Hufflepuff.” He lingers his calloused fingers around your wrist and holds you there, just so he can memorize what you look like under the moonlit lamps of his classroom. He thinks you’re absolutely stunning.

   “Pretty, huh?” You give him a shy smile and feel your cheeks growing bright red.

   He nods, brown eyes alight with wonder. “Baby, you’re the most gorgeous creature I’ve ever laid eyes on.”

   Oh.

   “You’re not so bad looking yourself, handsome,” you smile as he brings your hand up to his lips, placing a swift kiss to the top of your knuckles. And there you go blushing again like a schoolgirl with a crush. 

   “Careful now. Start talkin’ like that, and I’ll jus’ have to make you mine,” he warns with a smirk, the crow’s feet making his eyes sparkle like onyx crystals as starlight dances across his pretty eyes. 

   “So make me yours…” you whisper, hand dropping to your side. 

   He chuckles and shakes his head, back of his hand skimming down your blush-coated cheek. “You’re already mine, beautiful girl.”

   “Yours…” you repeat in awe.

   “Mmm. Mine.” He lets you backup a couple steps, reluctant to let you go just yet. “See ya tonight, baby.”

   As you pace back to the door and hover your hand over the golden handle, you turn back to him and smile. “Try not to think about me too much until then, Professor Miller.” 

   He rakes a hand slowly through his tousled curls, adjusting his loose tie around his neck. “Oh, babygirl. That’s the only thing that’s gonna be on my mind till I see you.”

   His brown flecked eyes hold yours for just a few seconds and then you turn and walk out of the room, leaving behind the troublemaker that’s got your heart racing a million miles an hour. 

   You’re thoroughly, completely enraptured with Professor Miller. And you fear you won’t be able to get enough of him. 

   As you walk down the now stirring hallway, dodging chatty students, you think of those captivating dark eyes. Those smoldering, beautiful eyes. Just a few more hours until you’re in his arms again, until he’s making you come undone all over again. 

   You’d let him unravel you. Make you his with every touch, every kiss, every breath. You never expected to fall for a Slytherin but here you were. Tripping and stumbling to get one more taste of him. 

   You’d never get enough. This Hufflepuff belonged to a Slytherin now. Professor Miller. The bad boy who got the good girl. 

   He was your Amortentia, and you were his.

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Watched Ferngully again since childhood, the problem started when Hexxus sings Toxic Love. That shit was so incredibly hot anyone agree?

too close

a/n: Yeah. The trailer got me again. I can't help myself!!! Also - I didn't actually want to write feelings for these two but I have no say anymore. They have feelings, they are obsessed with each other and I can't just ignore it lol. Not beta’d and barely proofread- any mistakes or errors are my own. Hopefully you enjoy! (PS I did a little research on fruits in Roman times- they had no word for orange, so any shade of orange was just called red)

Warnings; 18+ no minors, vague but big-legal age gap, piv sex, dirty talk, Marcus eats pussy and I don't CARE, giving him that gluckgluck3000, creampie, Marcus gets hurt (hurt comfort), hand stuff from him because he's my precious man and he likes to give his girl pleasure, master / slave dynamic (power imbalance) he’s still pretty possessive, Marcus calls reader Girl, reader calls Marcus Dominus (for now?👀), **FEELINGS** let me know if I missed any!

This is the fic I referenced in this preview

Pairing: Marcus Acaciusx F!Reader

word count: 5.1k (whoops!)

reblogs are appreciated

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You frowned, despite your station, the confusion and slight worry breaking through the years of training your face to remain neutral. For a moment, you forgot your place.

“But-“ he turned, head tilted in curiosity instead of anger, thankfully, “I am to stay here? You do not wish me to accompany you Dominus? To pour and serve…?” You could not keep the slight hurt from your voice, much to your dismay. 

“No Girl, you will stay here, at the villa.” He saw the confusion, the unabashed anguish on your face and his expression softened, “peace Girl, it is not a matter of not desiring your presence or your service.” You listened to him with a lump in your throat, a wild fear seizing your heart that he might have grown tired of you. 

“I will not have the luxury of a tent, the rebellion is small enough that I can squash it and be back in less than a moon’s turn.” He came close, close enough to have your face tilt up to stare into his eyes. “I would not have you waiting for me in such a meagre camp, I would not have you sleeping in the dirt.” His hand settled on your arm, a soft offering, a reassurance but it did nothing to calm you. You have grown so accustomed to having him close, to ending up in his bed of a night more often than not before heading to your own, naked and pleasantly sore; to falling asleep with his seed trickling out of your puffy little cunt.

“I am comfortable wherever you are Dominus, I could still be of use, to light your fires-“ 

“I would have you here, and safe. That is my decision, and no amount of temptation will sway me from it.” He lifted your hand, pressing his lips to your fingers in silent, but firm apology. You knew there was nothing to be said, you had already pushed the matter far more than would be allowed on a normal day. 

“Your will, Dominus.” You bowed your head, despite the hurt and worry swirling around in your belly. “I will pray to the Gods for your swift victory, and safe return home.” 

He nodded, leaving shortly after. 

Time passed, and a feeling of restlessness took firm root in your being. The house felt empty, despite the attendants and sentinels left to guard them as well as the property. The days found you listless, moving through the motions of your chores and daily duties practically numb. The days were marks on the wall of your mind, praying to the Gods to send him back to you. 

Whispers travelled swiftly through the city, through the market stalls and through the villa itself, most of them rumours and it was difficult to keep your emotions in check. 

He has advanced

He has killed the leaders of the rebellion

He is victorious, already on his way home

He has been hurt

He is dead

He is victorious - Rome's favoured son has triumphed once more

The moon turned, once, and then twice, finally a third time before he was home. The all encompassing relief was short lived however, that wash of relief turned to ashes in your mouth at the sight of him. One of the rumours had been true after all. A sword wound to the side had laid him low late into the battle, it hadn’t killed him, thank the Gods, but it had slowed him down and made his journey home nothing short of agony. 

Your heart raced to see him weakened, every fibre of your being itched to run to him, to press your lips to skin but you refrained. You stood aside, dutifully, letting his trusted soldiers practically carry him to his bed. The older women got to work, bringing fortified wine with all manner of powders and potions to aid in his recovery while you stood next to him, the little half-moon marks in your palms from your nails barely felt like anything compared to the ache in the back of your throat. 

Your eyes would not leave his face. 

He looked so tired, mud and grime still marring his skin as he lay prone on his bed. To forfend the ugly thoughts swirling around in your mind, you focused on the tasks at hand. 

He needs to be cleansed, after he eats something I will boil some water and move gently, leave him to gather his strength. An offering must be made so the Gods will hasten his healing-

“Girl.” His voice was soft, and instantly you rushed to his side. 

“Yes Dominus, I am here.” You took his hand tentatively, your heart soared to feel him squeeze it. 

“Fetch me some broth, and help me to sit up–a few pillows behind me. I would sit upright.” 

You rushed to comply, happy to focus on his instructions. With soft touch, you did your best to prop him up, biting your lip to stop your eyes from welling up when he winced. Once satisfied, you set about fetching hot water and linens, as well as his broth. He sighed at the sight of it, and drank almost all of it within a few heartbeats. 

“Shall I help you cleanse now Dominus?” You brought the basin closer, showing him the steaming water and he nodded. 

Tentatively, you removed the soiled clothes he wore, ears pricked up for any sign of discomfort. He beared it with good grace, keeping the twinges of pain to himself, you imagined for your benefit, and you were grateful. It took time, but finally, you had divested him of everything, and he half sat, half laid on his bed, not an ounce of shame for his nakedness. It was secondary, to see him bare, more alarming was the soiled linens with the dark bloom of dried blood staining it on his side like some grotesque flower. 

He was pale, weak, his injury robbing him of his normal, ruddy health. He watched you, his expression somewhere between exhaustion, and a calm content. 

With gentle hands, you dipped the clean linen into the steaming water of the basin, and methodically cleaned the dirt, and dried blood from his skin. Eventually his eyes closed, soft sighs filled the air with every pass of the warm cloth across his shoulders, down the firm muscles of his thighs, his hands, until you reached the contours of his face. The lines were more defined, this battle had taken a toll on him. 

Your thumbs smoothed over his brows, wiping dust and worry away with a bone deep gratitude that he had come back. He melted into your touch, and you tried and failed to suppress the smile. 

“I must clean the wound, Dominus.” You reached for more clean dressings, giving him a chance to steel himself but he kept his eyes closed. You thought he might have fallen asleep, but he nodded, and so you did what needed to be done. 

To his great credit, he didn’t make a sound. Even as you cleaned at the angry, but healing edges of the wound. He said nothing when you packed it with the poultice one of the women had brought, when you covered it in a clean dressing, even as he drank down the no doubt foul tasting potion to help him sleep. Instead he settled back, and sighed, his eyelashes fluttering against his skin. 

You gathered all of the soiled clothing and discarded bandages, and moved to leave him to rest but his hand snatched at your wrist. 

“Wait, Girl, stay. Stay with me–” His words were almost slurred, and he didn’t finish his thought, his hand loosened around your wrist but you stayed, taking great care to lie beside him on his bed, and watched him sleep. Your heart raced with something you couldn’t–wouldn't name, something that threaded through your ribcage like smoke, wreathing its way around your lungs and taking root in your heart. You pressed the back of your hand to his brow, thankful that no fever lurked there and once satisfied that he was indeed resting, you rested your head next to his. 

Sleep took you, swiftly and without warning. 

The world outside was dark when your eyes opened, and it took a moment for you to get your bearings. His warm skin pressed to your arm and you jolted with the memory of his injury. 

“Peace, girl, I am well.” His voice was quiet, but stronger than before, “You did well in changing my dressings.” His praise squeezed at something in your belly, robbing you of any words you might have had. “You must be hungry, go and fetch something to eat and bring it here, I will share the meal with you.” The concern in his voice brought a smile to your lips, his thoughts on you, despite the pain he must have been in. 

“Yes Dominus, shall I fetch more of the potion as well? You should rest-” He raised his hand softly to forestall you. 

“I have rested enough, I would have my wits about me just now. Go on, you may fetch whatever else you need, I would have you sleeping in my bed.” 

His words rung in your ears as you moved throughout the silent house. They shone through your eyes as you piled a serving tray with olives and cheese, with bread and ripe fruits. They camped in your belly as it rolled with something when they repeated over and over like a prayer in your mind as you filled a serving jug with the wine he favoured, they strengthened your grip as you carried it with the utmost care down the moonlit halls of the house, almost sharpening your eyesight to bring you swiftly back to him. 

You set it down between you on his bed, careful not to spill anything or jostle him too much and just in time too, the hunger rung out from your empty belly loud as thunder but you ignored it, your priority was to help him sit up.

“Eat Girl, you are starving. I will pick at my leisure.” He frowned, gesturing to the food and you were grateful beyond words. It was a quiet meal, but comfortable. He usually ate by himself, most of the time while in his study and with you, it was after chores and duties had been completed. Despite all of your trysts and time spent together, it was the first meal you’d ever shared. 

“You do not favour the olives.” He said it without judgement. You shook your head shyly, covering your mouth to speak through bites of bread and cheese. 

“My desire for them is unpredictable.” He tilted his head, “Sometimes, they are all I want. Other times, I cannot stand the sight of them.” You wrinkled your nose, confirming that this time, the latter statement was true.

He smiled, huffing out an amused laugh through his nose.

“What else do you like? I see you favour the fruit, which one do you like most of all?” It was strange to be asked about yourself, no one in your life had ever wondered about what you might of preferred, for anything.

“Figs, I think. Pomegranates too, although peeling them takes a lifetime.” He huffed again, wincing slightly, “Are you in pain? Shall I fetch–” He raised a hand. 

“I am well, continue. Why do you favour them if they are so troublesome to eat?” He shifted a tiny bit, with great effort, turning to face you better. The room was dark, save for the few candles burning and the moon shining in through his window, casting stark shadows across his lovely face. 

“They are worth the effort.” 

He smiled, and finally reaches over to help himself to the food. Something about the darkness, about the quiet seclusion made you bolder.

“What about you Dominus? Is there a fruit you favour?” Your heart raced, fear that you might have overstepped grabbing hold of you but it was for naught, he merely frowned in thought. 

“I prefer plums.” He said after a moment, “I like figs as well.” It was both exhilarating and strange to speak with him like that, in the quiet dark, almost comfortable. “Although–in my younger days we fought in Spain, and there I tasted a fruit I have never seen again, I do not know the name of it but I enjoyed it very much.” 

“What was it like?”

“It was round, a strange shade of red with a thick peel but underneath it had segments like a lemon.” He continued eating, and you were content to sit with him, only moving the tray once he had eaten his fill.

“It is good to be home.” The words came out as a sigh, “I missed it while I was away, more than any other time I must admit.” He shifted slightly and winced again, “Help me lay flat, my back aches from sitting.” He held out his hand and you rushed to oblige, moving pillows and positioning him flat on his back. “That is better, gratitude girl, let us blow out the candles and settle in.” 

“Yes Dominus.”

“Have you something to sleep in? What is most comfortable for you?” 

“I am content in this, Dominus.” You gestured to your tunic as you made your way around the room, snuffing out the candlelight.

“That is not what I asked you.” There was no bite in his words, but the expectation of truth was plain as day. 

“Most nights I sleep in the nude, it is what is most comfortable for me.” You made your way back to the bed but he did not let you get in. 

“Please, make yourself comfortable, there is no expectation from me, much as I have missed the pleasures of your body. I would have you sleep how you are accustomed.” You nodded once, undressing down to your skin before slipping into bed with him. In the dark, in the quiet, it was peaceful and the sound of his steady breathing worked it spell on you quicker than you would have thought. 

“Gratitude Girl.” He said it soft, and with a full belly and heavy lids, you questioned him. 

“For what Dominus?” The words were almost slurred, as the heavy press of sleep pushed you into the deep pool of blackness. You thought you heard him say everything, but you could not be sure, sleep had claimed you. 

-

You woke with the sun, the first few rays sliding across your skin like water and it was hard to move from your place. In the night, your body had brought you close to him, seeking out the warmth of him. He was still asleep, but his legs had tangled up with yours and it was strange to lay with him like this, both of you nude as the day you were born, yet incredibly comforting. 

You took the time to check over his wound, and were pleased to find it looking much better. The edges of it stitching together, thankfully without corruption. 

“It does not hurt as much as it did before.” His voice was sleepy, “I will be back on my feet soon enough.”

“Let me dress Dominus, and I will fetch you something to break your fast.” 

“Not just yet.” He shifted, and although you helped him, he didn’t struggle quite as much. “Come, lie with me.” He held out his arm, and you went to him, trembling like a leaf to rest your head on his shoulder. “Gods, I missed you, Girl.” He buried his nose into the mess of your hair and something inside you grew and swelled, was fed and made strong by his words and by his skin. 

“I missed you, Dominus.” Truer words had never been spoken by you, the ache for him had been unbearable.

“Did you?” There was something underneath, something desperate and had it not been so early, so peaceful, he might not have asked.

“Desperately Dominus, I feared you had abandoned me, I feared you no longer desired me.” You pressed your face into his neck, breathing him in, his scent, his warmth, him- sustenance

“Come now, Girl, you know of my desire for you, it is like a thirst I cannot quench. A hunger I cannot satisfy, despite my dark moods, despite my sour face, you are a source of joy and pleasure I have not known in some time.” His hand brought your face up, his gaze burned into yours and his words affected you so that tears welled in your eyes. He wiped them away, and the tenderness was too much, a sob clawed its way out from your throat. All of the worry, all of the fear that he might have left you alone in the world, to be sold to another bubbled up and he held you as you cried.

“Do you wish to be free of me? Is that why you cry?” Something in his voice broke your heart.

“No Dominus, no-“ you wiped at your eyes, moving to look him in the eye and the expression you saw in them was almost too much to bear. “I have never been so happy in all my life, I have never felt about anyone, the way I feel for you.” You pressed your lips to his, petal-soft. 

“Sometimes, the things I feel for you are almost too big for my body, I want to be with you always, I want to feel you always. I feared so much while you were gone that I could barely eat, barely sleep-” Your words were frantic, so many things to get out that you could barely speak and he pulled you close, shushing you softly. 

“My heart swells to hear you speak this way.” He reached down, sliding his hand towards the hinge in your knee, to pull it over his thigh. “Peace, let us just enjoy the silence.” You nodded into his neck, letting go of a great breath in your lungs. 

“If I was myself, and whole, I would be pulling every ounce of pleasure from you now.” 

You laughed at the annoyance in his tone.

“Soon enough Dominus, I would have you healthy and healed.” Your hand slid up the smooth expanse of his chest, threading through the curls at the base of his skull. “Once your wound has healed, you may have me any way you please.” 

“Any way?” His tone darkened, and your body responded, thighs clenching, heart racing, nipples hardening. “Any way I please? And what if I want you for a day and a night? What if I want you wet and spread for me in this bed until you’re so full of my gift it spills all over my linens?” The hand that had been softly stroking your back moved down and grabbed at your backside, pulling until the lips of your sex spread open. 

A moan slipped out at the feel of his hands, and he all but growled. 

“Do not make those noises Girl, not when I cannot fuck you how I wish to.” He pulled your face up, licking into your mouth with a hunger you could not satisfy, not in his current state. 

“Dominus, I beg of you not to taunt me, not when we cannot indulge.” You kissed him again, despite your words and finally he pulled away, the tremble of frustration in his grip. You shifted, and felt his manhood press against your thigh, the sight of him, leaking and hard against his belly made you sigh. 

“Do not concern yourself with that, I am ravenous for you, but my body cannot fulfill the wishes of my cock. Go and fetch something to break our fast. I will need you to change my dressing as well, if you could.” He sent you off with a kiss, and with desire dripping onto your thighs. 

“Yes Dominus.” You smiled, and rushed off to do what needed to be done. 

-

Weeks passed, and he healed beautifully. His wound knit together cleanly and with that, his strength came back. More often than not he stood and cleansed without your help, he left the safety of his bed and his chambers and sported a genuine smile as he made his rounds through his house.

You trailed behind him, your own smile in place to see him coming back into himself. 

Things were different. He was different. 

He spoke more, that was for one. Before he would keep his own council, his words were curt and his thoughts would be kept close to his chest. Some nights he reverted to his silence, but it had grown into something peaceful, something comfortable.

The biggest change though, was his attitude towards you. 

For one, he refused to sleep alone. The darkness of night found you tending to his needs and after the candles had been snuffed- he pulled your tunic off and pulled you into his bed, into his arms. 

At first, you thought it was his injury, a fear that he might suffer some setback in his sleep, but as the days passed on and he was well past the point of danger, he still refused to let you go. 

His desire had come back too, much quicker than his body could handle. Mornings would find you in the cage of his arms, with his lust pressed hard and hot at the cleft of your ass. You would pull away so as not to tease him, and he would let you at first, but as his body caught up to him, he stopped letting you pull away. 

Most mornings, he’d whisper how much he missed burying himself inside you, how he couldn’t wait to gift you with his seed while slipping his fingers between your legs and swirling them around your clit, only stopping after you’d fluttered around his fingers. Then he’d send you off to fetch food with a smile on your face and an ever-growing ache between your thighs. 

A part of you fretted as to why he hadn’t taken you yet, as the days passed it was clear that he was well enough to indulge. Another part, a hopeful, possibly quite foolish part of you thought maybe he was waiting for you to ask him. That couldn’t be, could it? You ruminated on your previous encounters, yes–he’d called you forth to warm his bed, but with every recalled memory it was clear that in his own way, he'd let you decide whether to push things or not. A luxury you knew was rare. It was an intoxicating thought though, to think that you could decide when and what you wanted him to do.

So many possibilities. 

When night came, you brought him his meal, and his wine and tried to keep the tremble of excitement out of your hands. You watched him move about his chambers, his strength back to normal as he dipped his hands into the fresh water in his basin. His hair had grown out a little, dark with silver mixed through and that thought struck you again, that he was some beautiful marble statue come to life. An emperor of old, standing before you in all his glory. 

“Dominus-” You called to him, unable to hold back any longer. His eyes raised, finding you as he dried his hands. 

“Before you take your meal, I would ask something of you.” Your voice shook, never had you openly asked him for anything before. He raised his eyebrows, more surprised than anything.

“What would you have of me Girl?” He moved towards you, eyes curious. 

“I would have you–” You stopped him, guiding him to sit on his bed, “I would have you sit here, and accept my mouth.” 

You kneeled before him, staring up at him with your lip caught between your teeth. Your hands landed on his knees, sliding up to pull his tunic up to expose his manhood. For a moment, he stared at you with wide, surprised eyes. 

“I have missed our times together, I have missed you filling me of a night and as much as I treasure your fingers in the morning, I would have you feel pleasure at my hand–or, my mouth.” He did not stop you from exposing him and heat flooded your body to see how quickly his cock responded to your words, to the soft exploration of your hand. 

“You would do this?” His palm landed on your shoulder, sliding up to cup your cheek. “You have no obligation, I would not command you to do this should you not want to.” You spit onto your palm and grasped him in hand and despite his words, he shudderred to feel the way you stroked him. 

“I dream about this Dominus, I desire you so deeply that I ache for you–” You opened your mouth and took the blunt tip of him into your mouth. He moaned, slack-jawed at the sight of you. You placed open mouthed kisses at the tip, and the sensitive underside, stroking at the base of him. His thighs spread, making room for you and you relished the warm strength of them under your arms. 

He tasted like the ocean. 

“God’s above Girl-” You pulled away, smiling as you continued to stroke him, he barely fit in the palm of your hand and with his passion dribbling out and your spit the sounds were loud and slick. Your own arousal unspooled between your legs, the ache intensifying as he tensed underneath you, hissing when you pressed soft kisses to the scar at his side, to the softness of his belly, to the firm golden thighs bracketing you to his hips. 

“Open your mouth.” His confidence resurfaced, and then his hand wrapped around yours, guiding you to stroke him the way he liked. He guided the reddened tip into your mouth. “Look at me when you take me in your mouth, open wide, I want to touch your throat.” You moaned around him, taking him deeper, breathing through your nose in an attempt to stay calm. 

“That’s it Girl, Gods be damned-” His tone was filthy as he held you there, eyes watering until you pulled away, sputtering and messy. 

“If you continue, I will spill in your mouth.” he guided your hand still, slowly stroking himself against your lips, smearing your spit and his salty arousal onto your lips. Never in your life have you felt that powerful, that beautiful, with tears spilling down your face and slick dripping down your thighs. He held himself suspended in his pleasure, awaiting your word. 

“Would you like to spill in my mouth Dominus? Or would you like to fill my cunt?” You held out your tongue, letting him rub the tip of himself against it while he decided. Your heart soared to see the conflict on his face. 

“I would fill your cunt, I have missed it terribly.” You smiled and rose with a final kiss to his cock and once you did, he ripped the tunic off your body. The loud tear of it made you squeal with a mix of shock and excitement. 

“I promise you, I will not last.” He all but tossed you onto his bed, spreading your legs wide for his gaze. “Greedy little cunt, so wet for me.” He spoke in a daze, staring at the place that ached at the mere thought of him. He slipped down and it’s with a shock that you watched him dip down to spear into you with his tongue. Never had anyone used their mouth on you and the sight of it was almost too much to bear.

It’s with a greedy, filthy groan that his lips dragged up to latch around the pert little pearl of you, his tongue stroking, stroking, stroking while his mouth suctioned around it. Your body was a taut string, legs shaking under the strong grip of his hands, holding you to him tight enough to hurt. Your breathing came in pants, the climax was there, balancing on a knife's edge, so close you could almost taste it. His hands move,d sliding up to pinch at your nipples and the wave crested. Your hands gripped into his curls, both holding him close, and desperately pushing him away while you fluttered into his mouth. 

You felt the strong muscle of his tongue slide down, drinking you from the source. 

He made his way back up, your slick shining on his face and on his whiskers. You’re almost too shocked, and too shy to look into his eyes. 

“I confess, I have wanted to do that for a long time.” He pulled his tunic up and off as you lay under him, boneless. “I know it’s not something commonly done, but I enjoy it. Did you enjoy it? I felt you flutter.” He raised your leg, wrapping it around his hip while his cock slipped inside you without any resistance. You let out a relieved sigh, finally, he was home. 

“Yes Dominus–” You almost whispered, half-shy as he dropped down, his arms holding himself up on either side of your skull. “No one has ever–Oh–” He snapped his hips hard, unable to hold himself back and already, the need built in your core, robbing you of any coherent thoughts. 

“No one but me ever will.” He kissed you, making you taste yourself and it was so perverse, so exhilarating you held him close, wrapping your arms and legs around him to feel as much of him as you could. His cock pushed and pulled, hitting that special place he owned and with a handful of thrusts, and a punched out groan he filled you with his gift. Finally. 

He watched himself pull out of the mess he'd made, watched in silence as his gift dripped out and onto his linens. 

Things felt different this time, there’s a vulnerability, an intimacy that is almost overwhelming. You pulled his face up, and pressed your lips to his softly, praying that you conveyed the feelings swirling in your chest. He kissed you back, his hand gliding up to wrap around your neck. When you opened your eyes, his brow was furrowed, the same feelings shining back at you through his dark eyes. 

Seconds passed, and the feeling did not disperse. Before he would have sent you away, but he held you close. Wordlessly he pressed his lips to yours over and over, he stroked at your skin, your shoulder and your thigh high on his ribs, your breast, your lips. He moved off, and went about dampening a cloth to clean himself off of you. Once he was done, he brought the food you’d served him and fed you from his own hand. 

You accepted the food, smiling shyly as he watched you, something like affection, like love shining out through his eyes. 

“Thank you Dominus–” He shook his head, a small frown at your words. 

“Call me Marcus.”

– Tag list: @frannyzooey @greeneyedblondie44 @lola4pedro @221bshrlocked @artsymaddie @supernaturalgirl20 @sleep-tight1 @sherala007 @cannedsoupsucks @thirstworldproblemss @ilikechocolatemilkh @freeshavocadoooo @hrk-fic-recs @maxwell--lord @the-feckless-wonder @kirsteng42 @thisshipwillsail316 @feministfanboi  @stevie75 @readsalot73 @pedrostories @tobealostwanderer @mandocrasis @elegantduckturtle @diogodxlot @alczysz17 @evyiione @absurdthirst @beskarboobs @andruxx @littlemissoblivious @1800-fight-me @maievdenoir @gracie7209 @omlwhatamidoinghere @magikfanatic @frankiecatfish @pedritoispunk @studythoreauly @missswriter @pintsizemama @mswarriorbabe80 @a-trial-run-on-paper @la-le-lu @chickadee-djarin @dobbyjen @rosiefridayrogersunday @ajeff855 @johnsrevelation @the-witty-pen-name @zombiesnips-blog @sarahjkl82-blog @fan-of-encouragement @queenofthecloudss @deadhumourist @felicisimor @toomanystoriessolittletime @what-iwish-you-knew @pedrostories @athalien @bi-thewayy @literallydontlook @pedrosbrat @gamingaquarius @luxmundee @iamafadedmoon @nakhudanyx @littlemisspascal @grogusmum @recklessworry @heyitmelexie @killyspinacoladas @gothicxbarbie @evildxad @dragonslarimar @spideysimpossiblegirl @chemtrail-mix @breezythesimp @altarsw @artooies-scream @staygolddindjarin @softsweetedbeauty @littlemisspascal @yuiopiklmn @squidwell @just-blogging-around @bbyanarchist @girlofchaos @maddiedrmr @frasmotic @acourtofsnakes @buckybarneshairpullingkink @astoryisaloveaffair @harriedandharassed  @shirks-all-responsibilities @androah @alwaysachorusgirl @dindjarinsmut @captain-jebi @gallowsjoker @tusk89 @dadbodfanatic-x @naiomiwinchester @blazedprince @avidreader73 @mr-underhills-things @avengersfan25 @tastygoldentaters @nyotamalfoy @mymindfuckery @its-nebuleuse @missladym1981 @inept-the-magnificent @yesjazzywazzylove-blog @ladyofmidlo72 @greenvita @honey-on-your-tongue

I'm feeling things...a revival i think?

So, early 00s/lifelong Aragorn girlies. How we doing.

Lovely gif by @arcanefox207

I for one am very unwell.

WINGS AND ALL??? 😭😭

Wip Wednesday!

Thanks for the tag @evolnoomym 🩵 This week I’ve been finishing up the first chapter of Saddle Me Up, Cowboy and started on the second chapter of Saving What Was Lost.

1. Cowboy! Joel

“My, my. You got your hands full. Don’t you, Cowboy?” you blush, fluttering your eyelashes flirtatiously up at him. You like him even more now.

“Reckon I do,” he chuckles, his thumb tracing light circles against the back of your hand, eliciting goosebumps down your arms.

“Too full to handle one more thing?” you question, giving him your best puppy dog eyes that you can manage.

He shakes his head and smiles warmly. “If that one thing is you then ‘course not. Got all the room for you, darlin’.”

2. Ch 2 of Saving What Was Lost

When he returns and sets the bottle of creamer and a shaker of sugar down in front of you, you crack. A tear slips down your cheek, and you look up at him through glassy eyes. “I can’t remember what I loved to do before they—before they took me. My hobbies, my passions, my likes. I just don’t remember…” Your voice is barely audible as it shakes beneath your broken stature.

God, you’re so broken.

His jaw flexes and his knuckles tighten into closed fists. He seems angry, but those sad brown eyes tell a different story. He’s not mad at you; he’s furious about the ones that took your life away. The murders that tainted and destroyed your life, your mind, your heart. They took everything from you, and Joel knows this. He hates it as much as you do.

He takes a deep breath and relaxes his fingers against the cold material of the kitchen island, his brown eyes focused directly on you. His bottom lip twitches, and then he sighs as he speaks. “It’s gonna take a while, sweetheart. Gonna take time and work to remember what it was you loved before, what you lost. But I have no doubts that you’ll get ‘em back. You’re gonna discover new loves, new passions, new hobbies. And trust me when I say that you will thrive. One day, you’re gonna be soarin’, and all this pain and sufferin’ will be gone. Maybe not completely, but you’re gonna fly, sweetheart. Wings and all.”

Another tear escapes your lash line, and you nod up at him slowly. “Thank you…” is all you can muster out of your highly emotional state. Thoughts are hard after he just painted a masterpiece with his words.

You’re gonna fly, sweetheart. The words stay sealed in a safe space deep inside your mind. No one can take what he just said away from you. Words that were spoken straight from your savior. Words meant just for you. Wings and all.

No pressure tags 🩵 @joelstummy @tonysopranosrobe @pedrospatch @alltheirdamn @katiexpunk

@burntheedges @mountainsandmayhem @magpiepills @almostfoxglove @almostempty

@aurorawritestoescape @milla-frenchy @thundermartini @yxtkiwiyxt @604to647 @syd-djarin

Nothing to say I just love this so much and I need to remember this forever

he will do it again

warnings: sex under alcohol influence

Maybe the strobing lights of the club made him look younger, or maybe the girls were too drunk to see the scars of his age spreading all over his face and neck. He didn’t know. Frankly, he didn’t care. He was there for one reason only: to lose himself in a glass of something strong, and a heat of someone wet. And that night Joel was lucky enough to get both.

You were too young to even consider going outside of the club with your number in his phone, but just old enough to take you to the surprisingly clean bathroom. Not that he would’ve cared too much, not when the amount of alcohol coursing through his body almost outweighed the amount of any other liquid.

You must have had some daddy issues, or thought that older did it better; and even though he hated to disappoint a pretty little thing like you, he was not there to impress, he was there to take what he needed and fuck off to his depressingly empty apartment, so that he could sleep on the couch and complain about a bad back in the morning. And in a few weeks repeat the cycle.

The bathroom door banged open, and Joel stumbled inside, dragging you by the wrist. You seemed to like it enough to try and move your feet quicker; the heels made it worse, and since Joel wasn’t planning to go out and look for someone else he grabbed you by the waist almost lifting you up and pressed you against the tile wall.

You hissed when your naked shoulder blades hit the cold surface, but Joel’s whiskey soaked lips returned your attention with wet kisses on your neck and collarbone. You’d tell him to go easier, but your tongue, heavy with alcohol, barely worked to flirt with the man, let alone give any commentary on the actions.

Joel’s dry and rough hand squeezed in between your thighs, sliding up until he met the mess you made in your thongs.

“Spread for me, little doe,” he growled in your neck and your legs gave out.

His soft, prominent belly pressed into yours hard, almost enough to keep you up without even holding you with his hands. Not bothering with taking your panties off, he shoved the soaked gusset to the side and you felt his cock roughly taking his space in your cunt. You didn’t even notice him opening his pants.

Joel’s groan was as loud as the music blasting outside the bathroom door. He soaked in the moment when your cunt fully took him, the pubic hairs around the base of him tickled your naked skin.

The door banged open, bringing in the music and women’s voices.

“Oh my god get a fucking room!”

“Gross!”

Your weak hands tried to shove Joel away, embarrassed to be caught in a situation like that, but he just started thrusting his cock inside you, every push resulting in a nasty hit of your back against the wall.

“We should– ” you tried to tell him that you should stop, should go somewhere secluded.

He was not interested in hearing that, his massive hand covered your mouth, pressing your head into the wall as he leaned to bite your ear.

“I will continue fucking you until I fill that cunt of yours up with two weeks worth’a my cum, and then you can fix your panties and go on your merry way.” He did well on his promise, hips thrusting repeatedly, hammering into you like that was his only purpose. “an’ ‘til that you’re gonna stay on my cock like a good girl you so desperately try to be.”

🥃🧊🥃🧊🥃🧊

@milla-frenchy @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

#put them in their place

#you tell 'em girl

Keeping this in the vault for... research purposes 👀 valuable information in here

Joel Miller is whimpering.

You’re grinding down on his cock, legs straddling his waist, hands buried in the grown-out hair that curls at the base of his neck and he’s whimpering into your ear, a desperate, breathy sound that reverberates in his chest and makes your cunt clench around him. Every sound he makes is delicious, a symphony of sin that has the hairs on the back of your neck standing on end.

“So good for me,” he breathes into the side of your neck, teeth barely grazing your throat, “perfect little cunt squeezing me so goddamn tight.”

He grips your ass, thick fingers digging into your flesh so firmly that you’re sure they’ll leave marks, little fingerprint bruises that you’ll carry with you for the rest of the week. You cant your hips, dragging your slick-covered core against him, and he makes the same sound again, the whimper spilling out of him, unbidden.

“Fuck, baby,” he keens, “got me moaning like a g’damn whore.”

He picks up the pace then, tries to wrest back control, slamming his hips up into yours. All it takes is one circle of your hips, though, and he stills, stomach muscles contracting with effort of not coming right there and then. He squeezes his eyes shut, sweat beading between the thick tendrils of the curls on his forehead as he lets out a shaky breath through his nose.

“Gonna kill me, darlin’” he tells you, opening his eyes onto yours, his pupils blown wide, “y’should have a fuckin’ health warning attached.”

This makes you laugh, a high giggle that Joel mirrors, his own lip curving up into a half-grin. You raise yourself in his lap again, feel the delicious stretch of his cock inside you, pulling half out and then sinking back down. Two more slow circles of your hips, hardly a movement at all but the combination of it and the sweet clench of your cunt and Joel’s swearing again, hissing a desperate breath out through his teeth this time, the blunt edges of his fingernails now pressed against the flesh of your hips. One more circle and he comes undone beneath you, cock twitching inside you, his jaw dropping with the sweet shock of it.

"Jesus fuck, baby," he gasp as you rock gently against him, drawing out his orgasm, the last whimper falling against your own lips when you lean down to kiss him.

He might be the one man in Jackson everyone’s afraid of, the guy lots of folk will cross the road to avoid bumping into, but when you’re in his lap, naked and writhing, Joel Miller’s nothing more than a whimpering fool.

I'm so incredibly sad. I can't believe this series is coming to an end. I absolutely love them. When they fuck after brutally murdering those assholes it juts hits so perfectly. The way you write them made me fall for them so hard and fast. I might genuinely mourn when you drop the last chapter. I absolutely love the babies names Ellis?? Alba??? I'm tearing up. I just have to write you such a huge love letter for this fic. How you write Tommy is absolutely hilarious. I've felt so many things when I read these like I've fully belly laughed, sobbed like for real in real life, and kicked my feet and giggled. Like your writing I just... this story is perfect

Alone and Forsaken

Chapter 19 Summary:

After the events that led to the birth of the twins, both you and Joel try your hardest not to get sucked into despair. However, that is easier said than done, especially when Maria and Tommy come to question you about the day you were taken. When it becomes clear that there is a wolf in sheep's clothing living within Jackson, how will the two of you cope? And when the perpetrators are finally unmasked, will either of you be able to sit by and let Jackson's authorities dole out justice, or will you seek retribution?

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Mentions of Panic Attacks, DILF! Joel, Violence and Torture, Filthy Smut, Feral Joel and Feral Reader Being Made For Each Other.

A/N:

Hey y'all, I hope you guys are doing good! It's been a crazy couple of weeks for me but luckily, I'm one of those people who always needs to be doing something or else I'll explode lol

Anyways, we are back right where we left off. This week shows the light and the darkness in both Joel and reader. On one hand, we're madly in love with our little family. On the other hand, we are a bit insane. Luckily for reader, so is Joel.

And as always, thank you for reading!

Chapter 19/20:

Chapter 19: Bonnie & Clyde

People always said that the first few weeks with a newborn was going to be the hardest, but for you and Joel it was the first few hours. The first bump in the road came a few hours after the two infants had been pulled from your abdomen, when Joel had decided that it was crucial for him to go back out into the howling winds to help his brother hunt for the few remaining assholes he had left behind. The thought of your mate going out into the raging storm had stirred you out of the post-birth bliss and you found yourself hissing in pain as you shot up from bed to stop him from leaving. 

“Jesus fucking Christ woman, get down! You can’t be moving around like that or else you’re gonna rip those stitches honey,” Joel scolded, rushing towards your bedside to shove you back down against the lumpy mattress. 

He gasped when you grabbed one of his hands, squeezing his fingers painfully tight to keep him from retreating again. 

“If you go out there in that storm Joel Miller, I swear to God that I will come after you on foot. Do you want that?! Because I will do it, I don’t give a shit,” you seethed, furious that he would even think to leave you alone after everything that had happened in the last 24 hours. 

Joel’s face had scrunched up and you could tell that he wanted to argue, but the second you had dropped his hand and ripped the blanket away from your lower half, he knew that you meant business. He tried to reason with you, arguing that he was the one that needed to go and that the twins could not be without their mother so soon after leaving the womb, but you were too angry to listen to any of it. Instead, you had ignored his pleas to stay in bed and swung your legs over the side of it, taking a steadying breath to ready yourself for the exertion of standing up. 

“Woah there sweetheart,” Joel said soothingly, like he was calming a nervous horse as he crouched down between your knees to halt your movements, “Christ baby, please be careful. You’re gonna hurt yourself getting up like that and fuck, I don’t think I could take it if you did. Are you tryin’ to give this old man a heart attack?” 

“Are you really going to leave me alone in this clinic with the two newborns that I just had cut out of me? Or, are you going to get your shit together and stay?,” you asked him point blank, making him balk in return. 

Which had left Joel with only one option if he wanted you to stay put and get the rest you so desperately needed. 

He sighed, “I’ll… I’ll stay.” 

“Great,” you snipped, allowing him to help ease you back into bed with a scowl on your face. 

Afterwards, Joel had sat back in the chair at your bedside with a huff, clearly annoyed but unwilling to show it due to the fact that you had just birthed not one, but two of his children that night. Nevertheless, you knew him too well to be fooled by the mask of indifference he put on as he refused to look at you, staring at the sleeping pups who were cozied up in the bassinet they shared. He watched as their tiny chests moved up and down, the edges of his mouth turned downwards in distaste. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at his sulking. 

“Joel,” you sighed, too exhausted to carry on with the pettiness when all you wanted was to have a few minutes of peace before they were screaming bloody murder again. 

“They could’ve killed you, or the twins, or both,” Joel mumbled, looking away from the pups to mindlessly play with the frayed ends of his sleeve. 

A silence fell over the room, one where the only signs of life were the quick little breaths of the two infants that were sleeping nearby. What was there for you to say? Joel was right. Aspen’s group could have torn the two perfect little beings from your embrace, making them centerpieces to whatever sick ceremonies they had planned. That is, if you had managed to miraculously survive birthing them without the help of a c-section. And if you had somehow survived their birth? Well, the alphas would have used you however they wished and either left you for dead, or killed you themselves. Nevertheless, neither of those things had happened and life had to go on for the sake of your family. 

“I remember thinking that if the pup died, we would be okay,” he admitted quietly, his voice almost a whisper as he continued, “I thought that we would be able to survive without the kid but I couldn’t… There’s no way I would ever be able to survive losing you. Then Tommy found me and told me you were labor. And when I showed up you were bleeding and I just…” 

Joel looked up from his shirt, locking eyes with you for the first time since the fight had begun. Sometimes it was easy to forget that the man you loved was so much older. Sure, he was turning 57 in September, but he was also unbelievably handsome and surprisingly agile for his age. Nevertheless as he stared back at you, he looked tired and beaten down, like all of the battles he had fought in his long life had finally caught up to him that night. Without thinking, you reached forward and cupped his face, pulling it closer so that you could see him better in the dim lighting. 

“I can’t,” you tried, clearing your throat to keep your voice steady before you continued, “I can’t imagine what it was like for you to even consider that, but it’s okay. I’m here Joel, I’m right in front of you and so are they. We made it, can’t you see that?” 

He nodded, “I know, but there are more of them out there still. What if they try to come back? I’m not going to let them take my family again. Those fuckers tried to take what is mine. What if-” 

“What if some of them are in Jackson right now? Fabien got in no problem, that means anyone else could too. Do you really want to be out there with Tommy? You’d be leaving us here all alone. Do you expect me to fight them off? I can barely sit up right now,” you pointed out. 

Joel flinched, giving you a reproachful look for even thinking he would want you to do that. He knew, just as you did, that Tommy was more than capable of picking off the few stragglers that were hiding amongst the flooded streets. It was the peace of mind Joel was after, one that included him tearing through any remaining group members to ensure that none of them could ever threaten his mate or his children ever again. But, he also knew that you were right. He couldn’t leave his family alone and vulnerable. 

“Okay honey, m’not going anywhere,” he agreed, pressing his lips to your cheek before he leaned back in his chair again. 

You gave him a tired smile, “Good, because I think it’s actually our job to name them. Apparently calling them number one and number two for the rest of their lives gets our parent cards revoked or something.” 

Joel laughed, “Shit, guess we better do that then.” 

The next hour was spent debating names for the two pups, a task that was much harder than you originally thought it would be. It was insane how many names were utterly useless due to the fact that they had once belonged to someone that one of you had disliked. Nevertheless, after much debate, you had worked together to land on two names that you felt represented the pair perfectly. 

For your son, the two of you had landed on Ellis. It was meant to be an ode to Ellie, the sister he would never have the chance to meet but would come to know regardless. At first, Joel was unsure of it, arguing that Ellis was an old man's name. However, after looking down at the grumpy little boy in the bassinet, neither one of you could think of a more appropriate name. Ellis had a scowl even in sleep, his downturned lips matching his father’s signature pout perfectly. His hair and nose, much like his sister’s, were also a carbon copy of Joel’s. Traces of you were there as well, in the shape of the chocolate colored eyes he shared with his father and in the chin, but it was clear that it was your mate he took after. 

The naming of your daughter had been much harder, mainly because Joel had put way too much pressure on himself to get it right. For your son, the name Ellis had come so easily, like it was always meant to be his from the moment it slipped from your mouth. Nevertheless, all of the names that had been previously proposed for your daughter were suddenly not good enough for her. He didn’t like the name Sarah anymore, despite the fact that it had been him to propose it as an option. Fearing that it would give his newborn daughter some sort of complex about living up to her older sister, Joel had announced that it would have to be something else. 

After you had pointed out that it was hypocritical to be okay with naming Ellis after Ellie but not your daughter after Sarah, Joel had snapped at you, claiming that it was different because he didn’t have the exact same name. With a sigh, you backed off a bit, allowing him a second to compose himself before you threw another name his way. What Joel was feeling was completely understandable, he didn’t want another Sarah in his life and he was worried that your daughter might feel like she was a replacement if he chose to give her his first born’s name. You were completely fine with her name being something else, yet every time you tried another name, he swiftly rejected it. 

“Well babe, we have to pick something. She can’t go around nameless forever, unless you WANT her to resent us from the get-go,” you sighed, frustrated at his unwillingness to pick. 

“I know honey, but I want to get it right. Ellis is a great name, she needs a great name too,” Joel groaned, rubbing his tired eyes as the morning sun began to bathe his face in light. 

The sun had barely peeked over the horizon, creating an orangish glow in the room that turned his skin golden. Looking towards the bassinet, you noticed how the light had a similar effect on the pups that had already begun to show signs of sharing his skin tone. They stayed still, allowing the sun to wash over them as they twitched in their sleep. And as you gazed upon your daughter’s serene face, you were reminded of a name that you had circled in the book just days earlier, one that you had yet to propose to Joel. 

“What about Alba?,” you offered.  

He cocked an eyebrow, “Why Alba?” 

You shrugged, “I read it in the baby book. It means either dawn or light or fuck, I can’t remember now but look outside Joel! It’s dawn right now and we’ve got our two little bundles of light sleeping right next to us.” 

Joel smiled wide, his eyes sparkling as tried it out, “Ellis and Alba Miller, I like it.” 

You looked over at Alba, matching his grin as you studied her features. Sure, she had Joel’s curls and his nose, but she was your mini-me. She shared your eyes, along with the shape of her mouth. Her chin and cheekbones were also sculpted exactly as yours were, which gave you a surprising boost of confidence when you noticed how beautiful your features were copied onto her tiny face. Even her expressions were yours, along with the unfortunate way she seemed to be in the habit of kicking her poor bedmate in her sleep. At least now you knew which one of them had played soccer with your bladder every morning. 

“Fuck, they’re going to be spoiled rotten aren’t they?,” you sighed dreamily, reaching a hand out to ghost your fingers over their soft tufts of hair. 

“Oh big time,” Joel agreed, watching as Ellis stirred and turned his face towards his sister’s. 

With the names settled, you had hunkered down for a nap. Joel had promised to remain at your side and keep a watchful eye on the two newborns as you slept, claiming he was not the type of dad to assume his partner would do all the work. Which was why when you were woken from your sleep not even twenty minutes later by the both of them screaming at the top of their lungs, you were extremely confused. They had been fed, burped, and changed into clean diapers, which meant that the only thing they could possibly want was some attention from one of their parents, something that you had charged Joel with seeing to. 

Blinking your bleary eyes open, the first thing you noticed was that Joel had moved from his seat at your bedside. Disgruntled at his sudden absence, you turned over to focus on the two wailing pups that were close to bursting your eardrums, only to be shocked by the sight before you. Joel had in fact, not left the room, as he was standing over their bassinet, looking absolutely terrified as he watched them shriek. 

“What the hell are you doing Joel?,” you called to him over their piercing cries, breaking him from his stupor.

“They’re crying,” he responded numbly, averting his gaze from you as he did. 

“And?! Pick them the fuck up then, you said that you would watch them so that I could sleep for a bit,” you snapped, waving your hands at him in frustration. 

Usually, you were better at controlling your anger, but the pain in your core had yet to dissipate and your breasts ached under the weight of the incoming milk. With the twins screaming their heads off and their father looking like he was about to join in with them, you were fresh out of patience for the day. 

“Joel,” you tried again, hissing at him like an angry cat, “Pick. Your. Children. Up.” 

Joel’s eyes widened at that and you watched as his gaze bounced between you and them. You wanted to let the motherly instincts take over, to growl at him for not helping his pups when they clearly needed him, but then you realized something. Despite the fact that they had been ushered into the world nearly five hours ago, Joel had yet to hold either of them. It had slipped through the cracks, as you were too hopped up on the laughing gas and the giddiness of holding them yourself to notice him on the sidelines.  

“Joel,” you sighed, grunting as you sat up against the rickety headboard. 

“They’re so pure, they ain’t even had the chance to do anything wrong yet. How can I pick ‘em up? I’ll ruin them. Look at me, look at all these scars that I’ve got from doing God knows what. They don’t need someone like me holding them. It’d be like spreading an infection,” Joel said with a frown. 

Your stomach sank as you listened to him, knowing that deep down he meant every word of it. It killed you that Joel thought himself too tainted by his past to touch them, even though the twins had loved him well before they were born. Each time you had bullied him into bringing out his guitar during your pregnancy to sing them some forgotten country song, the incessant kicks and uncomfortable barrel rolls they were doing inside of you had stopped, as if they were straining to hear the man they would one day call dad.  

Joel was the only one that could ever calm them. The soft caresses he gave to your bump as his southern drawl washed over them in the darkness of your shared bedroom lulled them back to sleep almost instantaneously. Each time, you had kept still as he worked his magic on the budding life inside of you, desperate to hear his sugary words and quiet promises about the future they would have once they were born. Sometimes you even pretended to fall back asleep while he spoke, allowing him a bit of privacy with his pups so that he could speak to them without the awkwardness of you listening in. 

“Baby, they don’t care about any of that. You’re their dad, all that they are going to care about is that you love them. C’mon, just pick them up and see for yourself,” you softly encouraged. 

When Joel remained unmoved, you shifted gears. Although you wanted to remain understanding for his sake, you could only bend so far. If a kick in the ass is what Joel needed, you had no problem delivering it. At that moment, you were willing to try anything if it stopped the cries that were getting louder by the second. 

“What would you rather be Joel? Some random dude who is mated to their mom but wants nothing to do with them or do you want to be their father?,” you asked him, the bluntness of your words once again catching him off guard. 

Joel blanched, looking at you with those sad puppy dog eyes that made your heart ache for him. This was incredibly hard for him, you knew that, but you weren’t sure how exactly to help. It had been so easy for you, as they had literally grown inside of you for months, but you understood that for a multitude of reasons; it was different for him. Nevertheless, you also knew that he needed to connect with them now, lest he be too scared to in the coming days. The last thing you wanted was for Joel to be doomed to a lifetime of being on the sidelines of his children’s lives. 

“Take off your shirt,” you suddenly blurted out.  

“What?!” 

“Sorry! I mean, can you please take off your shirt? I want to try something,” you restated, causing him to frown at your vagueness. 

Joel squinted at you in confusion, but with the two pups filling up the room with their screams and a mental block stopping him from picking them up, he was too frustrated to argue. He grabbed the back of his shirt with one hand, tearing it over his head in a way you had always found extremely attractive. At the familiar sight of his toned yet soft abdomen, you couldn’t help but smile. In your opinion, the rugged terrain of his scarred skin only added to his attractiveness, but you understood that people often saw their bodies differently than their partners did.  

“Jesus honey, cut it out. S’what got us in this mess in the first place,” Joel mused, scuffing his feet as his face turned bright red under your stare. 

“Can’t help it, you’re too pretty,” you sighed before shaking yourself out of it, “But you’re right, that’s not why I asked you to take it off. I was thinking that you could do skin to skin. The book said it’s really good for both parents to try it. Maybe it’ll help you bond with them.” 

He gulped and turned to face the pups, looking like he was about to face a firing squad as he reached out to brush his finger against Ellis’s cheek. With just one touch from his father, his piercing cries were soothed into weak whimpers and whines. You watched with a smile as Joel softened, realizing that the newborns didn’t care about his past. All they wanted was some love from their dad. After taking a deep breath, he leaned in and plucked Ellis from the confines of the bassinet. 

The little boy squirmed for a bit, grunting angrily before he felt the warmth of his father’s skin. Joel smiled when Ellis calmed, eyes round and watery when he looked back over at you. You gave him a nod of approval, which in turn gave him just enough confidence to collect his daughter as well. Alba was slightly more peeved, writhing against the confines of her unskilled limbs as she continued to squall at him in protest. It was only when Joel drifted over to his chair, carefully plopping himself down on the seat next to you so that he could speak to them properly, that she finally calmed down as her brother had. 

“S’okay Ms. Sunshine, I’m here. Your papa’s got you and your brother now, don’t cry,” he cooed, his syrupy drawl soothing Alba in an instant. 

Joel was a vision like this, whispering sweet nothings to the two pups as they dozed in his arms. A peacefulness had possessed your mate in that moment, making him look more docile than you had ever seen him. His body was so still, with none of the usual nervousness he was prone to bunching up his muscles to the point where he practically vibrated with the stress. The pups had turned Joel into something soft and gooey, something you thought looked incredibly attractive on him. He was completely in his own little world as he leaned in to catch a whiff of the addictive smell that every parent claimed their newborn had, the one that you had rolled your eyes at until your own pups had been placed in your arms.  

“Fuck, they are so perfect,” Joel sighed as he leaned back, unbothered by the few tears that dripped down his face. 

“I tried to tell ya,” you yawned, blinking at him as you felt the calm of the room infect you as well. 

“Get some rest darling, I’ve got them now. M’sorry that I didn’t know how to…,” he swallowed and shook his head, “Anyways, I promise that I’m okay now honey, just got spooked is all”. 

You shook your head at his apology, “Don’t be sorry, just pick them up if they cry. They love you Joel, they always have. Whatever happens, just promise me that you’ll love them back and take care of them. They’re gonna need their dad in their lives.” 

“I promise.”

“Good, now goodnight,” you sighed, snuggling back into the sheets with a soft smile. 

With that, Joel smiled and turned his attention back towards the two pups. You watched him in his element for as long as you could and then drifted off again, allowing him the time he needed to connect with the twins as you slept. 

- Joel - 

Being a dad again at his age was weird, albeit a little terrifying, but Joel was surprised at how much he remembered from his first time around. He didn’t need to be directed on how to hold them, as the muscle memory from when Sarah was an infant had kicked in immediately. And although it had taken him a moment to overcome his brief panic attack about picking them up, once he did he never wanted to let them go ever again. 

As you slept beside him in the hospital bed, healing from the eventful night and the overly traumatic birth, Joel held Alba and Ellis close to his chest. He wanted nothing more than to weld their tiny bodies with his so that they may never roam far from his grasp, but he knew that it was irrational to think that way. They would someday live their own lives, free from their parent’s watchful eyes on them 24/7. A terrifying thought indeed. But, luckily for him, that was years away. 

It was at that moment that Joel realized how simple all of this was. They were his pups, just as Sarah and Ellie had been, which meant that he would do anything in his power to be the person they needed him to be. If he was going to do this, if was going to step up and be not just the alpha that got you pregnant, but a dad again, he needed to be more than just a protector. They needed a dad who would love them fiercely, to cover them in it so that they would be hidden from the evils of the world, and Joel was damned if he wasn’t going to try his best to be that type of guy for them. 

The twins had stayed calm for a total of two hours, allowing him just enough time to fall in love with them all over again. Nevertheless, the second Alba’s cries had woken Ellis, it led to a cacophony of screams that made his ears ring and he was quickly reminded of the reason why newborns were so tiring. You were awake at the first sound of trouble, groaning as you lifted yourself into a seated position and reached out for the hungry pair. 

Joel reluctantly passed them over one at a time, missing the days of the past as he watched you wince through the first few seconds of breastfeeding. It wasn’t just that he pitied you for having to nurse them with your sore nipples, it was also that he longed for a time where he might have been able to feed them too. Medical supplies were hard to come by and despite his best efforts, he had not yet been able to secure a breast pump. With no breast pump, along with no surviving packages of baby formula left from life before the outbreak, he was effectively benched from feeding them until they could survive on something more solid. 

Nevertheless, Joel was grateful that you seemed to have no issue with feeding them. He had mourned the loss of modern technology while you were pregnant, dreading the possibility that his incoming pup would starve without the precious baby formula that had saved the parents of the past. In a world with few fixes for things of that sort, the two of you had even talked about utilizing one of the few wet nurses in town. Neither one of you had liked the idea of another person stepping in to feed them, but the pup’s health had taken priority over comfort. Luckily, it seemed that his fears had not come to fruition, as both of the infants were greedily latching on and sucking down their meal with no issue. 

“Joel, will you get me something to drink? Oh! And some food? They keep draining me like I’m a fucking dairy cow and it’s making me hungry as hell. Please baby? I’d really appreciate it,” you cooed, batting your eyelashes at him as you did. 

Joel chuckled, hoisting himself up from the chair so that he could fulfill your request. He leaned forward and dropped a kiss on the top of your head, allowing himself just one second of indulgence to linger over you. After taking a moment to hover, watching the twins as they fed on their mother’s milk with rapt interest, he reluctantly peeled himself away. 

“Oh and Joel, remember that I don’t like -”

“You don’t like oatmeal, I know,” he called over his shoulder, unable to stop himself from rolling his eyes as he did, “When are you going to let that go? I’ve only ever made it for ya once.” 

“Hmmmm… I’m not sure. Maybe I’m just hurt that you didn’t know me better by then. Thought it was love at first sight, guess I was wrong,” you said with an overly dramatic sigh. 

Joel scoffed and turned, catching the playfulness in your eye as he did. He rolled his eyes even harder than before, knowing that, as per usual, you were just trying to fuck with him. Two could play at that game. 

“Damn baby, I sound like a dick. Better not let me knock you up then,” he said nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders as he did. 

The grin you gave him took his breath away and for the billionth time since meeting you, Joel wished for a camera. What he was seeing was simply too good to be true. The love of his life was sitting up in bed, beautifully disheveled as she cradled his two children and fed them from her own body. It made him want to run out into the street and scream like a madman, to announce to the world that he had finally won something against all odds, but he remained rooted in place. Instead, he stared at his entire world with two heart shaped eyes, utterly starstruck and unable to will himself to fulfill your previous request. Divine was the only word that came to mind as he gazed upon you and he knew that he’d spend his life worshiping you at the altar of his affection, sacrificing whatever he must to keep his goddess content. 

“I love you so much honey. You’ve given me everything and more. I can’t… I can’t even begin to tell you how much that means to me. I just… I love you and I love them, thank you,” Joel babbled, the words coming out of his mouth faster than his brain could process them. 

“Joel, you’re my favorite person, my mate, the only person I trust with all my heart. I love you more than anything,” you paused, making his brow furrow, “Well, Ellis and Alba might have kicked you out of the number one spot, but I promise that you’re a very strong number two!”

He laughed at that, not offended in the least that the twins took priority over him now. The fact that you had bonded with them so easily did not surprise him, as the woman he loved had the ability to make almost anyone melt in the blink of an eye. Like two blooming flowers in the sun, they had reached towards your warmth without a second thought, just as their father did every day of his life.  

“There’s nothing I want more than this right here, being with you and our two perfect pups. Except for maybe one thing…,” you sighed, voice trailing off at the end. 

Joel was back at your bedside in two long strides, the alarm bells in his head going off as he stood over you. 

“What is it sweetheart? I’ll get it for you, whatever you need,” he rushed out, ready to barrel through town at your command.

“You could get me that food you promised,” you reminded him, pointing your chin towards the exit with a sly grin.  

He gave you a mock salute, which made you burst into a fit of giggles as he proceeded to march back over to the door. After giving his little family one last glance, Joel slipped into the waiting room. 

The previous night, both of your respective families had crammed into the tiny space, waiting for hours for an update. The two of you had taken three hours to yourselves after the twins were born, the only news coming from the doctor who you had sent out to assure them that everyone was alive. After the three hours were up, Joel had reluctantly left the room to announce that you were healthy and had given birth to a set of twins who seemed to be doing well. They had cheered and clapped in relief, the terror that had tightened their features melting away in an instant. However, their happiness was short-lived, as he had subsequently kicked them out without so much as a peek at the pups in the room behind him. 

Joel knew that like him, you didn’t want any visitors, as you were too traumatized to have anyone else in the room other than your mate or the doctor. He understood how you felt and the relief on his face was palpable as he watched them filter out. It wasn’t that either of you thought that any of your family members would harm the twins, it was that you both needed time to recuperate together, to hold Ellis and Alba close until the residual fear drifted away. 

The bells on the front door chimed, snapping Joel out of his thoughts in an instant. Before he had even looked up, he had his teeth barred, with the instincts he had used to find you in the storm still pumping wildly through his veins. He had forgotten how hard it was for someone like him, an alpha with a lifetime of bad fortune, to keep from being overprotective in times like this. Although it was just Maria and Tommy that strolled into the clinic, his own family, he still had to push down the low warning sound that rumbled in his chest. 

“Easy there cowboy,” Tommy chuckled, putting his hands up in mock surrender. 

Maria stomped on her mate’s foot, making him drop the joking facade in an instant as he hissed in pain and glared at her. She gave him a pointed look and turned back towards Joel, wordlessly holding out a tote bag that smelled of something delicious. He took it, softening a bit when he spied the feast that she had packed inside. It was enough food to feed a small army. 

“Thought you both might want some grub. We saw the doctor at the dining hall earlier and she mentioned that you hadn’t left the clinic to get food yet, so we figured we’d bring you guys something,” Maria said. 

Joel nodded, quietly thanking her in a voice that was so quiet that it was almost lost under the low hum of the fluorescents above. He was touched, albeit a bit confused as he had assumed that last night’s events would have them both too busy to swing by for quite some time. But when Maria gave him a small smile and then looked at his brother, almost like she was waiting for him to say something, an odd sense of deja vu hit him.

Suddenly, Joel was brought back to the moment where they had teamed up to put him back on the patrol shifts. That decision had caused him to leave you alone in Jackson, which had led to you being stolen from within the safety of its walls. There was no way Joel was going to let them swindle him again. His knuckles turned white as he balled his fists up, ready to knock their heads together if they asked him to go back on patrol. Although the thought of chasing down any undefeated foes was alluring, you were right, he couldn’t possibly leave his family at such a delicate time. 

“I ain’t leavin’ her alone with TWO newborn pups to go on some stupid-ass fucking patrol. I don’t care who it pisses off, I ain’t doing it and I’m honestly fucking shocked you two would even have the balls to try,” Joel spat.  

Tommy scoffed, “Hang on a minute asshole, we ain’t doing nothing of the sort.”

He paused and let his shoulders drop, forcing himself to take a deep breath before he popped one of the blood vessels in his neck. 

“Fine, what do ya want from me then? Because I swear if this is some bullshit about -”  

“We need to talk to the both of you. It has to do with the two groups of people that took her. Believe me, we wouldn’t be here right now if it wasn’t important,” Maria cut in. 

As usual, his sister in law got straight to the point. At times Joel had respected her penchant for honesty, longed for it even when his brother was being too cagey with him, but at that moment he hated it. He wanted some more time alone with his family in the happy bubble they existed in, the one that had yet to be popped by the sharp sting of reality. He knew deep down that there would have to be a time for speaking about what had happened, but he had selfishly hoped for just a few more hours of peace. 

“Can’t it wait?,” Joel grouched, his annoyance evident as he scowled at them with all his might. 

“If we’re going to make sure that we got them all, then yes it is,” Maria stated. 

She held up her hand when he started to argue, not allowing him to blow her off so easily. 

“One of them took her from within our walls. How in the hell did he get her out without anyone noticing? Did he have help? Did he take her through the gates or is there another way in? We have no fucking idea, but we need to find out so that this doesn’t happen again,” Maria argued. 

Joel pinched the bridge of his nose, willing the migraine that was stirring in the base of his skull to go away. She was right, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. He took a couple deep breaths, trying not to puke from the stress that soured the lining of his stomach as he focused back on the task at hand. 

“She’s feeding them right now, okay? Can you at least wait for them to be done? There ain’t gonna be much talking if the pups get to crying. Those two are louder than goddamn banshees when they get riled up,” he grumbled. 

Maria softened, immediately agreeing to his small request with a smile, “Of course, we’ll wait out here until they’re fed.” 

Joel left them, turning on his heel so that he could race back to the people that held his heart in their hands. He slipped back into the room, careful not to give either of the people behind him a peep of you without your top on. Shutting the door behind him, he felt like he was forming a protective barrier between his family and the rest of the world, and he longed for the days when every inch of Jackson was thought to be safe. 

The smell of the room almost knocked him off his feet as Joel made his way over to you, forcing every muscle in his body to release all of its tension once more. For the first time since they were born, he realized that his scent and yours were not alone anymore, as they were accompanied with the smell of the two newborns cradled in your arms. As he practically floated over to the bed, his nose caught the woodsy notes of pine and rosemary wafting over to him from his son, along with the fresh smell of grapefruit and gardenias from his daughter. The mix of all of his family’s scents together made Joel’s heart so full that it ached, and he suddenly wanted to cry when he realized he was about to ruin it with a reality check. 

“That was fast. What’d you do? Rob one of the early risers on their way home from the market?,” you joked, making him huff in muted amusement. 

“Unfortunately not, Maria and Tommy just dropped this off. They packed us a god damn feast,” Joel answered gruffly, lifting the tote onto the small bedside table.

He rifled through it, plucking the first tupperware container his fingers grazed upon out of the cloth bag. Looking through the cloudy plastic, he spied a plethora of sweet treats inside and quickly ripped off the red cover.  

“Could you -,” you started to ask, but he was too fast. 

“I gotcha honey,” he cooed, sitting down on the side of the bed so that he could feed you the treats himself as you fed the pups.  

Joel plopped a brownie into your mouth, chuckling at the way your eyes rolled into the back of your head at the first taste of chocolate. A memory flashed through his mind, one from almost a year ago when he had found you cramming his expired chocolate into your mouth after pulling you from the riverside. He remembered fondly how the sweet treat had been smudged all over your face. The sight had made him want to laugh at first, before he had a sudden terrifying urge to clean it off with his own hands. It was funny for him to think about how clueless he had been about his love for you in the beginning, especially when every waking moment of his life since finding you by the river was devoted to your happiness. 

He fed you a couple more treats, chuckling when you asked him the same question that you had been asking him since day one; share it with me? Although Joel didn’t feel hungry, as he was still too wrapped up in his own worries to feel the pangs of hunger gnawing at his gut, you had a hold over him like no other. Which meant that all it took was your pleading eyes to trick Joel into eating a couple cookies and a brownie. Like always, he was easily swindled by your charm, forever the loyal servant to the woman that treated a brute like him like he was the most precious thing in the entire world. Nevertheless, as he watched the twins drink from your breasts, draining the precious nutrients they needed from their mother, he could only stomach eating one more cookie before he demanded you finish the rest of the sweets by yourself. 

“Alright, alright, jeez Mr. Grumpy-pants. What’s gotten up your ass all of a sudden?,” you mumbled, popping your mouth open for him to place a chunk of blueberry muffin in. 

“Tommy and Maria,” Joel sighed, “They’re still here. They want to talk to us about what happened so that they can figure out how he got in.” 

You winced and snapped your mouth shut, looking down at the twins with a pained expression. Joel’s nose wrinkled as your scent began to turn and he watched how the pups began to squirm at the shift in the room’s energy. They could sense your growing discomfort, just as he could. If he wasn’t so nervous about the meltdown the newborns were about to have, it would have blown his mind that they were already so attuned to their mother’s moods. 

“Honey s’okay, this is a good thing,” he cooed, leaning in to bump his forehead against yours. 

“Tell me how is this a good thing Joel? Someone tried to take us! How in the hell are we ever going to feel safe here again?,” you sniffed. 

With one heavy blink, tears sprouted from your eyes and ran down your cheeks. Joel acted fast, leaning forward so that he could plant kisses all over your face in hopes that it would stem the flow. He could taste the saltiness of your tears on his tongue and it lit a fire under his ass to comfort you. 

“Sweet girl, I know it doesn’t seem like it, but this IS a good thing. If there is some sort of hole in the wall or shit, I don’t know, a fucking underground tunnel, they need to know where it is so that they can secure it. That way, this won’t happen ever again,” Joel tried. 

He wasn’t sure that even he believed his words, but he willed himself to try. Usually it was you trying to instill hope in Joel, not the other way around. Nevertheless, if you needed a boost, he was going to try his best to be all rainbows and sunshines until you were back to normal. 

“I’ll tell them anything they want to know, just promise me that you’ll stay with us. So help me god Joel, if I hear that you’ve said yes to a single patrol for the next few weeks, I will find the breach myself just so I can come out there and strangle you in front of Tommy,” you warned. 

Joel nodded dutifully, “Yes ma’am, I ain’t going nowhere.” 

With that, you finally relaxed enough to finish feeding Alba and Ellis. When they were done, Joel took each of the milk drunk infants from you one by one, burping them before he placed them back in the crib so that they could drift off together until their next feeding. He watched for a moment as Alba reached out, thwapping her chunky little fist against her brother’s sternum a few times before she let it rest there. Ellis squirmed a bit and grunted at the abuse, only to settle when she finally relaxed. 

Although there were two cribs in the room, so far you and Joel had only used the one. It felt wrong to part the twins just yet, almost cruel. After spending a rocky eight months growing together inside of you, the two of them surviving impossible circumstances without their parents having any knowledge of their existence, neither one of you dared to keep them from each other. Plus, the twins seemed to enjoy the extra heat that came with sleeping alongside one another, as they came together like two magnets the second they were put down.   

“Joel, can you help me with this?,” you called out, forcing his focus away from the twins. 

The soft t-shirt you held in your hands was one of his, compliments of the few pairs of clothes your mother had dropped off for the both of you. Joel wasn’t sure how to feel about her going through the house on her own volition, but he was grateful that she thought enough to take from the pile of his shirts you had hidden amongst your own clothes. He didn’t want to know how you would have reacted if she had brought some of the dreaded maternity clothes you had been forced to wear, and he shuddered to think of your reaction if she had made the mistake of bringing your own clothes, the ones you likely wouldn’t be able to fit back into for at least another few months. 

Joel plucked his shirt from your hands, carefully easing the cotton over your face and swollen breasts. The tough part came at the incision mark below your navel and he gently rolled the fabric over the bandage, bracing himself for any whine of discomfort that may burst from your mouth. Luckily, none came. All you did was watch him through wary eyes, too tired and frustrated with the circumstance to mind. 

When Joel was done helping you dress, opting to leave you in a loose fitting pair of his boxers for bottoms rather than squeezing you into pants, he planted a kiss on your mouth. The small act eased only a few of the frown lines from your face, but he counted it as a win nonetheless. Joel brushed his thick fingers through your unruly locks, smoothing them down with an appreciative grin. Although you constantly complained to him about how hard it was to tame your hair, he always thought it was cute when you left it messy. 

Almost as cute as when you surprised him by leaning forward and stealing another kiss from him, taking the breath from his lungs until they burned with passion. A small grunt came from him and you smiled, giving him the perfect opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. Joel could have lived in that moment forever, tangling his tongue with yours as you pulled at his mussed curls. Nevertheless, reality came in the form of a swift knock to the door that made the two of you quickly jump apart. 

“If your brother wakes them up, I swear to fuck -”

“Oh, I’m right there with ya darling,” Joel gritted out, racing over to the door so that he could stop the younger man before another round of heavy knocks produced a chorus of shrill screams. 

Joel ripped the door open, the anger clear on his face as he stared down at his little brother. Tommy grinned at him, as if he had forgotten that he was also a father who likely loathed any loud noises that might wake his own son. After another few moments of reproachful staring, Joel let the two betas in with a sigh, hurrying back over to your side so that he could place himself in front of the twins. 

If asked, Joel wouldn’t be able to say why he felt the need to shield them from his family’s view. It’s not like Maria or Tommy would ever harm their own niece and nephew, or any child for that matter. Still, he couldn’t ignore the way his blood itched with the need to protect them from anything and anyone. It was a feeling that he wasn’t sure would ever go away, but hoped would die down with time. 

“Hey! Wow, you actually don’t look too bad,” his brother proudly exclaimed, making your face fall in an instant. 

Joel glared at Tommy hard, the smoke practically pouring from his ears as he tried to think of one reason he shouldn’t throw the beta against the wall. The mood of the room shifted, causing sweat to gleam off his brother’s forehead as he realized the gravity of his blunder. Maria pivoted so that she could fully face her mate, cocking her hip out at him as she stared at him incredulously. Tommy closed his eyes for a moment in shame, sighing before he started in on an apology that was immediately cut off by your uncharacteristically sharp words. 

“Gee, thanks Tommy. That’s just what I needed to hear after having two big-ass pups cut out of me. Hey, when’s the last time you had all of YOUR organs pushed to one side so that the doctor could cut into YOUR uterus, hm? Oh, that’s right! Never because you don’t have one, so maybe shut the fuck up,” you seethed. 

Maria didn’t even try to save her mate from your wrath. Instead, she raised her eyebrows when he looked to her for help, as if to say that he had made his bed with his poor choice of words and now he was doomed to lie in it all by himself. A few more jumbled explanations came from the younger man, each more unintelligible than the last, until he finally came out with a somewhat coherent apology. 

“Shit, I really didn’t mean it like that sweetheart. M’sorry, I guess what I meant was -”

“Think you should be movin’ on from this topic baby brother, before it gets you into some big trouble,” Joel warned, the finality in his tone evident. 

Tommy nodded, miming himself zippering his lips before he fell completely silent. Maria stepped forward, giving her husband one final look that said that they would talk about the blunder later, before she turned her gaze towards his family. Joel reached out and grabbed your hand without even thinking about it, anchoring himself for the talk that was about to occur. 

“I know that this time is important for you as a family. Before we begin, I’d like it to be known that I wouldn’t be coming in here to ask these types of questions if I didn’t think it was necessary. But as the leader, I need to make sure Jackson is safe. Which means -”

“Which means that you’ve come to ask about when they took me,” you finished impatiently. 

Maria nodded with sorrowful eyes, as if she wanted to be anywhere other than in your hospital room at that moment. Perhaps if Joel was a better man, he would have felt bad for her for having to endure the plight of leadership regardless of where her own feelings lie, but he wasn’t a better man. 

The eldest Miller was a greedy man, one that had utilized violence and cruelty to get his kicks for decades, only to find out later in life that the happiness of his mate was like a shot of dopamine straight to his brain. From the second he found you, he knew that he would do anything for you, despite whatever consequences it had on anyone else. That is, until Ellis and Alba came into the picture last night. Now, there were three souls that Joel would kick up hell for to ensure they were taken care of. 

Fuck being a better man. 

Joel was not a hero by any means, he was a survivor. Which meant that he was completely fine with sticking to his morally gray guns while Maria led the town as she saw fit and Tommy did his best impression of an upstanding citizen. If they thought him a villain for being the way he was, then so be it. He didn’t care what anyone else thought, all he cared about was the wellbeing of his mate and his pups. 

“Look, like I already said before, I don’t know anything,” you started, already sounding annoyed. 

Maria nodded patiently, “I know but if you could just take us through that morning, maybe it could jog your memory a bit. Please, anything could help.”

A frustrated sigh puffed out from your lips, but you nodded nonetheless. 

“Okay uh… Well, I woke up that morning and Joel had left his lunchbox, so I walked down to the stables. I almost made it in time, but I had to stop by the fence across the road. Joel and Tommy were just leaving with the horses but I was in too much pain to call out,” you explained.

All of the blood in Joel’s veins turned to ice. Bile rose from the pit of his stomach and he was forced to swallow it down so that he wouldn’t start spewing chunks across the room.  

“You were there that morning? No, that can’t be. I would’ve heard or fuck, smelled you even. Please baby, tell me that ain’t true,” Joel cut in before anyone else could, the voices in his head screaming at him for not doing his duty, for yet again not protecting his mate. 

The wince on your face told him everything he needed to know. Joel had failed you in many ways yesterday, but it was this event that he knew he would never forgive himself for. You had needed him and he had left you there alone. Of course he had, as far as shitty alphas went, it didn’t get any more straightforward than him. 

“I thought it was maybe a strain when I woke up. It felt like all the muscles in my back were being torn apart, but I guess it was me going into labor. I didn’t even realize what was happening until my water broke a few hours later, but by that point I was uh… not in Jackson anymore.” 

The twins had begun to prepare for their debut early that morning and Joel had galloped past you, completely unaware that his mate was keeled over in pain just a few meters away. It made him want to throw himself onto the ground and wail, to tearfully beg you to forgive him for the neglect by impaling himself on his own blade, but you were too quick. Before Joel could fall into the dark pit of shame that he was already so familiar with, you had already tugged him back towards you. He was so lost in self loathing that he went willingly, carefully rolling the bassinet over with him so that the twins were still in reach as he sat down on the side of your bed. 

“M’sorry sweetheart, I can’t believe that I… If I’d known, I-I -”

“Shh Joel, stop,” you hushed him, reaching up so that you could rub circles into his scalp, “If you heard me, then you would have stayed and helped, but you didn’t. You can’t blame yourself for that, or any of it. Shitty things happen all the time, but that doesn’t mean it’s your fault.” 

He shook his head, not believing a single word you said. Of course it was Joel’s fault, it was him that only had one working ear and an apparent lack of awareness about his surroundings. You were innocent in all of this, a simple bystander that had been attacked while trying to bring your stupid mate the lunchbox he had forgotten. 

“But maybe if I remembered that fucking bag, you wouldn’t have been taken honey. Can’t you see that? S’all my fault,” he pressed on, unable to break himself out of his despair. 

You scoffed, “Joel, that’s simply not true. Those fucking assholes were here for months. They were just waiting for the right moment. If you hadn’t forgotten that bag, they probably would have taken me from the house the next time you left to go to the market. It was inevitable.”  

The thought of any of your kidnappers infiltrating the home that the two of you had built in Jackson irked something in Joel’s brain. He knew that you were right, that they would have likely snuck into the house and confronted you there, but picturing it made him feel like he could breathe fire. It felt so wrong to imagine them anywhere near his home, the place where he had spent the past two weeks baby proofing while you continuously reorganized the pup’s wardrobe like it held all the answers to parenting. 

“She’s right Joel, it isn’t your fault,” Tommy said, pulling his attention away from the spell your gaze put him under, “I was there too and I didn’t hear her either. We could play the ‘what if’ game until we’re blue in the face but it won’t change a thing. All we can do is move forward.” 

He gritted his teeth, the dull ache at the base of his skull turning into a sharp throb as he tried to work through his own self loathing for your sake. The only lifeline Joel had was your hand in his and he focused on the feeling of you squeezing his digits to keep himself sane. He locked eyes with you, catching the way your gaze implored him to see reason, and allowed his shoulders to drop with a heavy sigh. 

“Okay,” Joel relented. 

Joel didn’t know how else to calm himself, so he leaned forward and stole another kiss from your soft lips. A surprised noise was muffled against his mouth, followed by a hum of approval as he deepened it. He didn’t let it go on for long, all too aware of the two unwanted guests in the room, but he allowed himself just enough time to have the pleasure of seeing you breathless when he finally broke away. 

When Joel pulled back, he gazed at you longingly, like he wanted nothing more than to spend his life waxing poetic soliloquies about his love for you. If only he had the words to fully capture how he felt about his beloved, but alas, they simply didn’t exist. What he felt for you was too big for there to be any words that could do it justice. Joel yearned for every part of you, ferocious and manic in his desire, and he knew that he would happily grovel at your feet for a crumb of your affection until the day he died. And in return, every part of him was yours, which meant that if you needed your faithful servant to put aside his own feelings for the moment, then he would. 

A throat was cleared and the two of you looked back over at your visitors. Tommy scratched the back of his neck with an apologetic look on his face, while Maria stood ramrod straight beside him as she waited patiently to get back down to business. With an affirmative nod from you, Joel turned back towards the pair and braced himself for the next round of questioning. 

The rest of the conversation did not go any easier and unfortunately, Joel knew it was mostly because of him. He tried his best to keep himself from reacting, but hearing about how Fabien had drugged his pregnant mate had torn a hearty growl from his throat that nearly woke the sleeping pups. It only worsened when he had heard about the alpha slapping you across the face, along with all of the sick threats that both groups had spewed as you were chained and going through the pains of labor. 

Every fiber of his being became devoted to keeping himself still. Joel knew that if he allowed himself to move even an inch, he would fly off the handle and begin to scream in rage until the entire town knew what would happen if they came near his family. It was only when you directed his attention towards Ellis and Alba, convincing him to hold them for the remainder of the talk, that the sinister rumbling that came from deep within his chest finally stopped. The solid weight of the twins in his arms brought him back to earth, along with the way you played with his curls as you spoke. To Joel’s embarrassment, it was only once he was soothed that the line of questioning from Maria began to run a lot smoother. 

“Once I had killed her, I got the chain off and got out of there before the alphas could get to me. I could see a few of them down the street, so I headed straight into the woods. A few minutes later, Tommy found me having contractions against a tree and yeah, that is literally all I know,” you finished with a sigh. 

“And you don’t remember anything from when Fabien took you from the stables? Anything at all?,” Maria questioned. 

You shook your head, “No, not really. I remember feeling grateful that he caught me when I fell forward, I was worried about squashing the pup. The entire time he was carrying me out, I could feel his hands on my bump like he was trying to protect it. It was super weird but also oddly comforting.” 

The room grew silent at the admission and Joel turned back to look at you with a furrowed brow. If it was Fabien who had been carrying you out of Jackson, who then had held your bump in their hands with such care? The man only had two sets of hands, which meant that Maria was right, he had been helped by another to sneak you out. Before you had a chance to fully understand the gravity of your response, Maria was already turning to his brother with a list of instructions. 

“I need you to check the schedules. Look for someone who worked the gates, patrols, maybe even a couple of the stable guys. I want to know the names of everyone that had reason to be awake that morning. It would have to be someone who wouldn’t draw suspicion,” Maria instructed him, the tension in her body growing by the second. 

“W-What’s happening? Joel?,” you whimpered, sensing the change in his family’s demeanor immediately. 

Joel hushed you, “S’alright honey, this just means we’re one step closer to being safe. Now that we know Fabien had help, they can go through the logs and figure out who it is. No need to worry, we’re gonna be just fine.” 

Another quiet whine came from you, forcing him to press a smattering of kisses all over your face until you relaxed. Joel heard the two betas muffled conversation behind him but elected to ignore it, focusing all of his energy on calming his terrified mate. When the whimpering stopped, he sat back and turned to look at your guests. Maria whispered one last instruction to her husband, which he nodded dutifully at as he turned towards the rest of the room. With a sorrowful look on his face, Tommy peaked around him to lock eyes with you. 

“I really am sorry about before. I swear that I meant it as a compliment, but I ain’t too good at this sorta thing so…,” his brother stopped, getting redder by the second, “Congratulations to the both of ya, I can’t wait to meet my niece and nephew once you’re both er… less… territorial.” 

Maria looked like she was ready to strangle him at that, her already thinned patience fraying at the ends at his new attempt at being congratulatory. Joel knew how she felt and he suddenly wondered if this could be the one time he might be able to get away with drop-kicking his baby brother to the curb in front of his scary ass wife. However, it seemed that a tussle wasn’t necessary, as he and Maria were both surprised when they heard you laugh at Tommy’s poor manners. 

“Holy shit Tommy, it’s like you take one foot out of your mouth and then shove in two more. Are you trying to get attacked by one of the two hormonal parents in this room, or are you just THAT fucking dumb?,” you cackled, wiping away the tears that came from your laughter. 

Tommy chuckled and then sighed, “Just dumb unfortunately. Again, apologies and I’ll… I’ll be going now. See y’all around once you’re uh… yeah….” 

With that, his brother turned on his heel and hurried out of the room. Maria rubbed her temples with both hands once he was gone, muttering under her breath about the ridiculousness of her chosen partner. 

“Tommy means well, I promise, he just -”

“Isn’t good with words? I know. I have the other Miller brother, remember?,” you deadpanned. 

Joel scoffed while his sister in law snickered at his expense. She softened a little at your joke, which was why he tried not to be miffed at your jab. Although in the past, he had not been great with his words, Joel liked to think he had gotten much better since then. Nevertheless, he was grateful that your joke had shattered the tension in the room and he felt like he might finally be able to breathe without the twins sleeping in his arms. Not that he was about to put them down just yet, but it was nice to know he could if he needed to without having a full blown panic attack. 

“Guess you’re right, at least they’re pretty” Maria shrugged, earning a laugh from you and an annoyed huff from him, “Well, I guess I’ll leave you guys to it. I’ll let you know if we find anything. In the meantime, keep an eye out for anything out of the ordinary.” 

Once you had both agreed, Maria took her cue and left the room. Joel turned to you when she was gone, a question on the tip of his lips before you shook your head at him. He sighed and let the inquiry die, putting the sleeping pups back in their crib so that he could crawl into bed with you. He slipped in behind you, gluing himself to your back so that he could hold you tight as the two of you watched the rise and fall of the twin’s chests. 

“Stay with us,” you pleaded groggily, exhaustion already pulling you back into another much needed nap. 

Joel hushed you, nuzzling the gland on your neck and pressing kisses into it until you were forced to relax against him. He tangled his legs with yours and brought you even closer to him in the stillness of the quiet morning, trying to reassure you as he gathered his thoughts. Sometimes, Joel was shocked at how well you seemed to know him. While other times, it was like you didn’t know him at all. Leaving you and the twins was never something he had considered, nor would it ever be. He’d sooner die. As Joel snuggled closer, you pressed back into him until your eyelids fluttered closed with a sigh, and it was that proximity that made him feel centered enough to speak. 

“Never gonna leave ya baby, you should know that by now. Gonna have to take me out back and shoot me if ya want me gone. If ya don’t, I’ll just sleep on the front porch until you let me back in the house again. Kids are gonna have to jump over me on the way to school,” he joked. 

The laugh you let out made Joel grin and he wished in that moment that he had the power to bottle it, so that he could listen to it anytime he was feeling down. 

“First of all, your back could not take sleeping on the porch. You’d be waddling around like I was when I was pregnant. Secondly, I’d never let the twins see their father in that sort of state,” you said.

He wanted to kiss you right then and there, to thank you for loving him so unconditionally. That was, until you continued. 

“No porch for papa on my watch, I’d exile you to the couch in the sunroom so that they wouldn’t notice that we’re fighting. You could slip back before breakfast. Oh! And maybe if you were a good boy, I’d even give you a space heater for the cold. But, you’d have to make it up to me big time to get back in the house.” 

“Oh yeah?,” he snorted, “And what would I have to give to get back in your good graces princess?”

You shrugged, “Head probably.” 

Joel guffawed, which turned into a bout of genuine laughter when you giggled at his reaction. He shook his head at your ridiculousness, blowing a wet raspberry into the crook of your neck in retaliation. You squealed and squirmed a bit, which left him no choice but to continue until you warned him that you might rip your stitches if he didn’t stop soon. With that, Joel quickly surrendered and went back to simply holding you in his arms. 

“I didn’t mean it like that Joel,” you admitted quietly after some time, “I don’t think you’d ever abandon your family, I just meant that I don’t want you to close yourself off from us. This is all so scary and I don’t know if I can do it if you aren’t here with me, physically and mentally.” 

He sighed, “I know honey.”

“I’m just so anxious about all of it, aren’t you?,” you asked softly, your voice barely above a whisper. 

Joel wasn’t sure what he could say to ease your worries, especially since he was just as terrified as you. Still, he knew that for your sake he needed to try. Although he could not predict the future, not with the world embroiled in such constant chaos, he was not going to leave your side until the breach was found and the traitors were brought to justice. Every single time the two of you were separated, no matter the circumstances, bad things seemed to happen and he wasn’t going to be taking any chances now that there were two pups that needed their parents. Plus, he also knew beyond a shadow of doubt that if anyone tried to threaten the pups, they would subsequently be torn apart by either their mom or their dad. 

“We’re gonna be okay. I don’t know how I know, but I just do. Those two have the most amazingly badass mom in the world, which means there ain’t nothing getting anywhere near them. And me? I’m staying right here, not letting any of you outta my sight,” Joel promised. 

As he spoke, his fingers crept into your hair, massaging your scalp until you were practically purring from his soft touch. 

“Hmmm, I guess you’re right. Plus I’ve heard their dad is pretty tough too… and kind… and handsome…and sweet… and he does this thing with his tongue where he swirls it around - hey!”

The tickles he gave to your underarms made you stop and explode into another fit of giggles, one that this time he was sure to cut short before you could strain yourself too much. 

“Gotta watch it darling, those two are like sponges and before you know it they’re gonna be repeatin’ just about every word you say. We don’t need them going around talkin’ bout tongue tricks to the other kids on the playground. People ‘round here already hate me enough,” he said. 

You snorted, “I doubt that they are going to have any long-term memory for at least another year babe, but point taken. I will keep any jokes about the joys of you eating me out off the table for the time being.”

He shook his head at your crass words, keeping in his laughter so as not to encourage your behavior. Nevertheless, you still managed to steal a brief snicker from him before he clammed up. 

“Fucking hell, go to sleep you nut,” Joel playfully grouched, pulling the linen blanket up around the two of you to emphasize his point. 

After reaching back for one more sweet kiss from him, you finally relaxed and drifted off into a peaceful sleep. Despite the fact that Joel had been awake for well over 24 hours, he refused to sleep, preferring to keep watch as his little family napped. Perhaps it was true that an average man needed rest, especially if he wanted to keep his sanity, but Joel Miller was not average in any sense of the word. 

Joel had lived a life full of cruelty, heart break, and unbearable tragedy, which had twisted the very basis of his humanity into something not quite human. Living with agonizing grief for years had hardened him, turning him into someone that even his own blood couldn’t recognize anymore. Nevertheless, the steel husk he had welded around his heart had been cracked open by you, which had forced him to actually feel for the first time in years. You were like a shock to his system, bringing him back into the light with your sweet words and witty remarks. And as he held you and watched over the pups that shared both of your DNA, he refused to surrender to his own exhaustion, ensuring that nobody could push him back into that kind of darkness ever again. 

- You - 

The doctor had let you go home from the clinic after four days of close supervision, with strict instructions to keep your incision cleaned until it was fully healed. Joel had listened to her instructions on cleaning the wound with rapt attention, asking question after question until you had to cut him off with a pointed look and thank her for her time. He had grumbled at that a bit, but ultimately let it go so that he could help you lug the twins back towards your shared home. Without the luxuries of modern technology, there was no car waiting to pick you up when you finally left the clinic. Instead, all you got was a jumpy alpha that glared at any resident that looked at his family for too long as he held his son close to his chest. 

Alba had fussed in your arms the entire way home, angered by the slight jostles and the way the incessant wind blew her dark curls across her forehead. Meanwhile Ellis, as always, had been the more stoic of the pair and simply held on tight to Joel’s index finger with a firm scowl on his face as he was carried back home. You tried not to be jealous that Joel had picked the calmer of the two, but it was hard not to be when your legs wobbled with every step you took, your deflated tummy still hanging heavy as your abdomen healed. The doctor had assured you multiple times that the swelling would go down in the next two months as the fluids that your body retained were flushed out, but you were still not a fan of the way it looked in the meantime. 

When the four of you had arrived home, you were greeted with a clean house that had a small pile of welcome home baskets stacked in the living room. Most of them came from family, and there was even one that was from the staff at the clinic, but you were touched to see that quite a few vaguely familiar Jackson residents had dropped off some goodies for your family. If you weren’t so tired that day, it probably would have made you cry. 

“Christ, your mama filled our fridge with a whole bunch of stuff. I think we should be set for at least a week or two,” Joel called from down the hall. 

It didn’t surprise you that she had been by. In fact, it was your mother who had been the first to visit you at the clinic. At first you were nervous to allow her in, childish fears about the mother she had been for you creeping up as she stepped in the room. Nevertheless, you also felt like you understood her more now. Although you would never do the things she did to ensure your survival, the use of bitter words and harsh slaps to correct your own children’s behavior out of the question, you understood now that she was trying to keep you safe. In a group where the roles were set so rigidly that anyone who went against them would be killed, she had tried to mold you into a perfect little omega so that nobody would dare question your place. 

If you were not allowed out with the other kids, then there was no way you were going to be caught doing something that would lead to more trouble. There would be no unplanned pregnancies or drunken shenanigans under her watch. Similarly, if you were too scared to speak up, then you would never be punished by your own husband as she had been by hers. There were things about you that she couldn’t change, like the fact that you were a product of an unmarried couple or that your father had not come from a Christian background, but she could distract them by making you flawless. You understood her decision, and even though you would never come to the same conclusion for your own children, you knew now that it had come from a place of love rather than hate. 

It was after your mother had held both Ellis and Alba, commenting on how much they resemble their parents with a soft smile gracing her face, that she had promised to prepare the house for your arrival. Although the both of you had tried to shoo her away, claiming that it was unnecessary since the house was already more or less ready, you were now glad she had persisted. And it seemed that she had help, as you noted the pack and play that had been brought up from the basement in the corner of the living room. Stepping closer to it, you smelled hints of both Tommy and Cooper’s scents lingering on the fabric, which brought a small smile to your face at the kind gesture. 

After your mother had left, Tommy and Maria had come back to be reintroduced to the pair without their business faces on. You had watched as Tommy ribbed his older brother for passing on his features to Ellis, remarking that they looked cuter on the pup with a grin. Joel had rolled his eyes and held his hands out for the boy, grumbling about how annoying the younger man was as he snatched his son away from him. They hadn’t stayed long, too busy with the search to linger for more than an hour, but you could tell Joel appreciated it nonetheless. 

Once they were gone, Cooper had come in for a short visit. He was under strict instructions to report back to his bedridden mate and had come toting a bag of supplies that you knew Jake had picked out personally based on the contents alone. Cooper didn’t strike you as the type to think of sanitary napkins and face wash. His presence warmed your heart as much as it had made you laugh, and you quickly relieved the perpetually anxious man from his duty after he had held both of the pups for a few moments. Cooper had sighed in relief and thanked you for allowing him to come in, explaining how Jake had warned him that he would waddle over to the clinic himself if his mate didn’t go in his place. 

And now, with twins thoroughly introduced to your loved ones, it was up to the two of you to raise them. It felt… weird, and you weren’t sure what to do with yourself as you stood in the living room with the whimpering pup in your arms. During your pregnancy, you had endlessly prepared for the birth like it was the end of times (no pun intended). But nobody had ever mentioned how strange it would feel once you were home with them. You had no idea what you were supposed to do with either of them now. 

“Honey? Did you hear what I said?,” Joel asked, striding towards you so that he could take Alba off your hands. 

You let him take her, thankful for the few pounds of extra weight being lifted from your arms as your legs shook from the exertion of the walk home. If Joel noticed, he didn’t say anything about it, but you noticed that he did practically herd you towards the couch like he was some type of sheepdog. Although you could tell he wanted you to sit, you were too keyed up to do anything but stand nervously by the couch and wring your hands together as you tried to think of the next steps to take. 

“What are we supposed to do with them now? I mean, do we just let them sleep? What do we do in the meantime? Oh my god, should we be watching them while they sleep? What happens if we don’t?,” you questioned him, the words rushing out of your mouth in a jumbled mess. 

Sensing your growing distress, Joel spied the pack and play in the corner of the room and hastened towards it so that he could lay the two infants down. Once they were settled, he retraced his steps back to you and plopped down on the couch. Before he could even ask, you clambered on top of him so that you could be soothed by his warmth. With a sigh, you pressed your face into his neck and mindlessly kissed at the skin below his ear. Joel didn’t shy away from your touch, instead he reached up and dug one hand into your messy hair so that he could rub circles into your scalp, meanwhile the other hand lightly scratched your back. 

“There’s no rule book on what parents get up to when their pups are asleep baby, if we’re tired then we’ll sleep. If not, we’ll find something else to do. Hell, all them reusable diapers are gonna have to be washed at some point. Plus, we still gotta make sure we’ve got time to shower and eat ourselves. There will be loads to do, just wait for it mama,” Joel murmured. 

“I guess,” you sighed, “I just feel like I should already be doing something for them ya know?” 

He chuckled, pulling back so that he could get a better look at you. Both of his rough hands came up to cradle your face and you hummed when you felt Joel’s thumbs brush over your cheeks. 

“Yeah baby, I know how you feel. When Sarah was born, I nearly ran myself ragged trying to stay up in case she needed me, but after a while I realized she was fine. If she needed me, she’d cry and if not, I’d sleep or clean. S’not rocket science,” he explained. 

“Okay,” you relented, kissing the side of his face before you buried yourself back into his neck. 

And as it turned out, Joel was mostly right. The first few days home were weird, as you were still unsure of what to do with yourself and had a hard time getting up without his help due to your healing incision, but you had slowly healed and gotten the hang of being a parent. Even though the twins were a handful, as one would set the other off and start a screaming match that inevitably led to them teaming up to bring the house down, you wouldn’t trade it for the world. As you watched their tiny faces take shape, with both of them looking more like you and Joel each day, you suddenly had a hard time remembering a time without them. And it wasn’t just the pups that caught your attention. 

Watching Joel return to his former glory as a father made you fall madly in love with him all over again. It was like their arrival had revitalized him, turning him into the papa bear you had hoped he would become. You couldn’t help but be enamored with him as you watched him care for the pups, singing to them when he thought you weren’t listening, or carrying them around the house to show them the things their tiny eyes had never seen before. It made you want to give him a bus load of them, but you had to keep those thoughts to yourself unless you wanted Joel to have an aneurysm. 

Needless to say, life was surprisingly good for the first few weeks of their lives, and before you knew it the twins had turned two months old. Joel had yet to return to work and neither had you, the two of you deciding to not push the subject on account of the lack of leads regarding your kidnapper, but that was okay. Life was good as long as you ignored the fear that still lurked in the background, the same fear that had moved both of the cribs into your bedroom for the foreseeable future and slid a baseball bat under Joel’s side of the bed. 

Most of your days were spent ignoring that fear, focusing instead on the two pups that had changed your lives. With your incision completely healed and the twins in perfect health, the four of you had spent much of September taking walks around the quieter parts of town to enjoy the good weather while it lasted. And when it wasn’t particularly nice out, Joel would play music for them or you would read aloud until they calmed down. It was a quiet life for the time being, but you didn’t mind it at all. It was the kind of life you had once thought to be a pipedream. 

Nevertheless, after two months of the bliss that came with beginning a new life together as parents, it was quite a shock when Tommy showed up on your doorstep red faced and panting one night after supper. With Alba clumsily batting at your face, you opened the door and let him in with a confused look. 

“Sorry about the surprise visit, sweetheart. Wasn’t my intention to interrupt any schedule y’all might have the two little hell raisers on,” Tommy said sheepishly, a flush creeping up his neck as he did. 

“No, that’s alright. Everyone is fed and changed, we’re just doing tummy time right now. Ellis is giving his dad some attitude lately, so Joel is on a mission,” you sighed, carefully prying your hair out of Alba’s fist before she had a chance to yank it. 

“Tummy time? Shit, I gotta see that,” the beta laughed, making you roll your eyes at him as you turned back towards the rest of your family. 

Tommy followed you into the living room where Joel laid on the floor, softly encouraging Ellis to lift his head from the mat. Whereas Alba seemed to have no issue looking up at both of her parents when she was called, her brother seemed to only be interested in listening to you. It was hard not to be smug about it each time the pup refused to heed his father’s call, but you tried to keep it at bay for Joel’s sake. Ellis’s refusal was funny at first, with Joel rolling his eyes at your poor attempts to hide your gloating, but you could tell that it was starting to get to him. He was determined to get Ellis’s attention, even though it was clear that the pup’s ears worked fine, he was just simply ignoring his dad. 

“Better be careful Joelie, wouldn’t want a senior citizen such as yourself breaking a damn hip getting up from there,” Tommy teased. 

“Ha ha, very funny asshole,” Joel grumbled, rolling his eyes as he pulled himself into a seated position so that he could lift Ellis from the mat, “Better have a good reason for coming here unannounced, you’re interrupting tummy time and I almost got him to look up just now.” 

If someone would have told you a year ago that the man who had plucked you from the riverside, the same one who kept you at arm’s length due to his own grief and who struck fear in the hearts of many, would be scolding his brother for disturbing your son’s tummy time, you would have laughed in their face. But life has a weird way of defying all expectations, for better or for worse. And this time, it was for the better, as all of your wildest fantasies about the rugged older alpha had become a reality. In fact, it had turned out better than you could have imagined, as you now had the kind of partner who actually saw the real you and instead of being afraid or disgusted, he loved you even more. 

“Tummy time? Bleh Joel, are you serious?,” his brother groaned, shaking his head as he did. 

“Deadly,” Joel shot back, glaring at his brother for poking fun at the silly name. 

You rolled your eyes at the impromptu standoff between the two men, recognizing the tell tale signs of their ongoing brotherly bickering. All of the complicated past between the two men had been forgiven since your pregnancy, but this was something else. This was about a constant need to fuck with eachother, regardless of how stupid or petty it may seem to anyone else. Being an only child, you had never experienced it first hand, but you had grown accustomed to the sibling rivalry between the two brothers. And as they tried to scald each other with their glares over the stupid comment, you knew you had to shut it down before the juvenile name calling started. 

“Alright, alright,” you cut in, making the two of them turn your way, “Can you two knock it off? I already have two kids, I don’t need another two.” 

They apologized in unison, giving eachother one last childish glare before they finally broke apart from one another. Joel wordlessly scooped Alba from your arms, leaving a kiss on your cheek before he transferred the twins over to their pack and play. Like you, he gave them both a soft kiss on their ridiculously chubby cheeks, something that warmed you from the inside out as you watched him from across the room. When he straightened up, he caught your grin and matched it, hastening over to your side so he could steal another smooch from you. It was messy, as the two of you were smiling too wide for it to last very long, but that didn’t matter. What mattered was the dopey, love fueled grins you gave each other afterwards. 

“Jesus fucking Christ, if I thought y’all were bad before,” Tommy scoffed, making his brother turn away from you with a frustrated sigh. 

“What the hell do you want Tommy? We’re a bit busy being new parents at the moment, can’t you see that? I know Frankie is five now, but you gotta remember what it’s like,” Joel griped. 

It was then that you knew something was wrong. Rather than a witty remark, Tommy’s face fell, any annoying jest he had on his mind about how obsessed the two of you were with each other dying on his tongue in an instant. Joel stiffened at your side at the change in his brother’s demeanor and slipped his hand into yours. You numbly let Joel lead you both to the couch, where you sat and anxiously waited for whatever bomb that was about to be dropped. Tommy marched over and sat on the loveseat across from you, his right leg shaking nervously for a few seconds before he slapped his hands against his thighs and began. 

A pin drop could have been heard in the room when Tommy started to speak and you could practically taste the blood that had to be filling Joel’s mouth, as his brother’s words made him start gnawing on the inside of his cheek like it was made of leather. According to Tommy, the identities of the people who had helped Fabien smuggle you out of Jackson had finally been revealed. It was a conflicting update, as you weren’t sure whether you should be overjoyed that they were found or terrified about what was to come. 

Having been busy being pregnant for the majority of your time in Jackson, you hadn’t had the chance to get into any trouble and had no idea what sort of justice system they had in place. And despite your fears, you were forced to continue to listen to Tommy’s tale, regardless of the fact that you were drowning. 

Tommy steamrolled through the obvious discomfort on both of your faces, explaining how it had been hard for them to know for sure, as the culprits had been found out due to a drunken confession from one of them at the Tipsy Bison. However, a quick investigation had revealed the truth. The first man was found to be guilty when Joel’s forgotten lunchbox turned up in the bottom of his locker at work, kept like some sort of trophy for his misdeeds. Meanwhile the second had been stupid enough to keep the remainder of the chemicals that had been used to knock you out in his home. 

“I wanna have a talk with them,” Joel answered immediately, his words laced with venom as he said it. 

“Joel, you know that it don’t work like that here. We’re trying to make this a civilized place, which means that there has to be a trial and we gotta-” 

“What happened at the bar?,” you asked, uncaring of whatever bullshit explanation he was about to give for the sake of diplomacy. 

To you, these two strangers were as good as dead. They had threatened you while you were in labor and therefore, they had threatened your children. That meant that their days were numbered. You didn’t care what the jury in Jackson ruled, you were going to kill them with your bare hands. And based on the sour stench leaking from Joel’s pores, you knew that you weren’t going to be alone in your quest to end their sorry lives. 

“One of them is a regular down at the Bison, he had a few too many one night and started talkin’ nonsense to Seth. Nothing unusual for folks there, but this time he started spoutin’ off about some pregnant omega and getting back at her ‘asshole alpha’,” Tommy said, only to be cut off by a vicious growl from his brother. 

Rage ping ponged back and forth between the bond you shared, making the both of you grow more irritated by the second, but you knew that someone had to remain rational. So instead of baring your teeth and screaming obscenities at the top of your lungs like you wanted to, you squeezed Joel’s thigh with your free hand, bringing him back down to earth before he could run off towards the prison cells for his revenge. When he was calmed, you nodded at Tommy to continue and shifted closer to Joel, anchoring him to his seat by crawling into his lap as his brother started again. 

“Anyways uh, Seth tapped Maria on the shoulder. Turns out, Joel busted a beer bottle over the guy’s head about four years ago. Guess he kept a grudge. He was the one that um… helped carry her out through the breach. He was the one with your bag,” Tommy uttered, clearly worried about his brother’s reaction. 

Joel sucked his teeth in annoyance. He had already explained to you the details of that eventful night, where he had gone to the bar looking to get hammered and fight the first idiot to come his way. That night he was lucky enough to be blessed with a grade A asshole who was bragging about cheating on his girlfriend to his buddies. Fueled by nothing but whiskey and endless grief, Joel had slammed his face into the bar until it was cracked open and gushing heavy spurts of blood, only stopping when he was physically restrained. In your first few months in Jackson, he had pointed the man out to you at the general store and you remembered trying hard not to react to the scars your mate had left on his face. At the time, you had even felt bad for the guy. 

“Who else?,” Joel asked gruffly, a strange mix of anger and guilt written all over his face as he did. 

“The dining hall guy,” his brother responded. 

Ah yes, of course, you thought, the dining hall guy. 

That man had remained a mystery to you until two weeks after the twins had been born, when a random bushy haired man had glared at your family from the porch of the fabric store. You had elbowed Joel in the ribs, muttering to him about the strange man whose gaze was burning a hole through the side of your face. Joel had furrowed his brow and followed your eye back towards the offender, sighing when he realized who it was. 

It was then that Joel had been forced to go into full detail about how he had thrown a man over a table at the dining hall one morning and whipped him with a tray until he fell unconscious. The reasoning behind that one was tricky, as the poor bastard was more a victim of circumstance than anything else. After the particularly rough first night back in Jackson, with the effects of nearly two bottles of whisky still poisoning his blood, the man had made the mistake of pushing Joel to get towards the breakfast line. Hammered and itching for some sort of brawl, Joel had attacked. 

When you learned about what Joel had done to both of these men, you could tell that he felt remorse about it at the time. Although the asshole at the Bison probably deserved a slap for cheating on his girlfriend, he didn’t deserve a lifetime of scars. And even though the other guy probably should have excused himself rather than push his way towards the line, that was no reason to knock a few teeth loose with a hard plastic tray. Nevertheless, as you watched his entire body go rigid at your elusive kidnappers finally being unmasked, you knew that any remorse he held for them was long gone. In a world like this one, vengeance was a fool’s game, but that didn’t mean that the alluring nature of the pointless act didn’t call to the both of you. 

“What’s going to happen now?,” you asked when Joel stayed silent, the alpha seemingly imprisoned in his own fury. 

Tommy sighed, “They’re in jail now, so y’all don’t have to worry no more about people coming after ya. They’ll have a trial in a week and then they’ll be sentenced. In the meantime, we’ll have to figure out how to seal the breach so that nobody else can just waltz in here.”

“Where was it?,” Joel piped up, still staring at his hands with his face set. 

“There is a manhole near the stables. It leads down to the sewer line and pops out a few miles east of the wall, right below where the river drops off. We found a piece of her dress snagged on a branch near there. I’m real sorry to ya both, we thought all the sewage tunnels had collapsed.”

An indignant sound came from Joel, one that had the hairs on the back of your neck standing straight up.   

“They took my pregnant mate through an abandoned sewer tunnel… during a storm? And they carried her out through the river? The same one that swells up every single time it rains?,” Joel questioned. 

It wasn’t what Joel was saying that was making you nervous, it was the way he said it. His voice had turned robotic, with his deep timber flat and devoid of any emotion as he asked his questions. Tommy felt the shift as well and leaned forward in his seat, almost as if he was ready to jump on his brother’s back if he tried to rush off towards the jail cells. 

“They did do all of that but uh, I don’t want y’all to worry. Like I said, there will be a trial and there will be justice. There ain’t no way they’re walking away from this, I can promise you that. People might feel some way about Joel, but there’s a line and they crossed it the second they kidnapped a pregnant omega,” Tommy promised. 

The numbness you felt only worsened at that, forcing you to nod and make the affirmative noises you needed to make in order to get Tommy out of the house as quickly as possible. Joel did the same, grunting and nodding along as his brother explained that the two men would likely be either hanged or shot in the coming weeks for their crimes against the community. But deep down, you knew that there was already a plan taking shape in Joel’s mind that didn’t include any of Jackson’s authorities. 

“Alright well, like I said there will be a trial and y’all are more than welcome to come to it. Until then, try to take it easy. And please, for the love of God, don’t be getting up to any trouble,” Tommy begged. 

Joel grunted his affirmation, waving his brother off before he could fuss too much. Tommy sighed at his brother’s soured mood and turned towards the entryway, pausing to look at you as he reached the door to the mudroom. 

“That goes for the BOTH of you. I want no funny business from either Bonnie or Clyde, you hear me?,” he asked, with his finger pointed directly at you. 

“I have no fucking idea who you’re talking about old man, but sure,” you mumbled, too tired and pissed off to pretend to know who he was referring to. 

Despite his anger, you heard Joel snort from beside you as his brother gawked at your response. You shrugged, reminding him once again that you were only five years old when the outbreak had started. How were you supposed to remember every supposedly legendary character in the movies you’d never get to see or the notable figures in the textbooks you’d never have a chance to read? Most of your life before meeting Joel was spent trying to do one thing: survive. 

“You don’t know who -,” Tommy stopped and shook his head, “Jesus Christ Joel, you really were robbing the cradle with this one. I can’t believe my fucking ears, she don’t even know who god damn Bonnie and Clyde are.”

“Oh my fucking god, goodbye Tommy,” you groaned. 

“Get out of here you little shit,” Joel snapped, his words overlapping with yours and matching your annoyance. 

With that, Tommy left, leaving the two of you to a silent house after the door clicked shut behind him. Neither one of you said anything for a while, too wrapped up in all that had been revealed to speak. However, you were parents now, which meant that the moment Ellis started whining for his last meal before bed, the two of you were up. 

Like a well oiled machine, you worked together to get the twins into their cribs. While you fed a very squirmy Ellis, Joel took Alba upstairs for a quick bath and a fresh onesie for bed. After you were done, you switched, before meeting up in the master bedroom to lay them down for the night. Once they were down, the two of you crept out of the room like you were art thieves pulling off an elaborate heist. Joel motioned for you to follow him after he shut the door and for the first time since bringing them home, you left them alone. Still, you didn’t go very far, as Joel opted to veer into the spare room by the stairs that had yet to be used for anything other than storage. 

Neither one of you moved to pull the door completely shut behind you, as you were both still too nervous to cut yourselves off from the twins completely. Instead, you left it slightly ajar, providing just enough coverage to muffle the sound of your voices while also allowing you both to hear any noises that came from outside. It wasn’t that you were worried about not hearing the pups, especially with the way Alba screamed her heart out at the drop of a hat, it was the ever present fear of someone taking them that still lingered in your minds. 

Joel sat on the edge of the bed, directly on top of a pile of fabrics you had sworn you would use to sew new disposable diapers for Ellis and Alba. Of course that hadn’t happened, as you were much too busy with nursing and getting adjusted to being a mom to take time to finish any projects. And so they had sat, collecting dust until he had plopped down on top of them. With a sigh, you joined him, a headache already forming behind your eyes as you did. It didn’t take a genius to guess what was running through both of your minds, so you decided to rip the band-aid off and say it. 

“I want them both gone Joel and I think we should deal with it ourselves,” you said, giving life to the vindictiveness that grew like weeds in your chest. 

Joel didn’t answer, all you got in response was a sigh, followed by him lifting you into his lap so that the two of you were nose to nose. Like two puzzle pieces coming back together, you buried one of your hands into his overgrown curls, scritching at his scalp with one hand while the other rested against his steadily beating heart. Joel released another breath and snuck a hand under your shirt, drawing soothing circles onto your hip while the other rubbed the tension from the muscles in your back. 

You stayed like that for a while, gathering more strength from each other with every breath you took. The two of you melted together, until your forehead was resting against his and he was looking deep into your eyes. Not a word was said by either of you, but you knew what his answer was nonetheless. 

There were two men in Jackson who had threatened your family, two men that would not be allotted the fair trial they were promised for the crimes they had committed. Neither Joel, nor you, cared about justice. What you both cared about was keeping the twins safe, no matter the consequences. Which meant that if there was even the slightest possibility that they might let off easy, the two of you were going to see to it that a divine intervention took place. 

“Y’know what darling? It’s been about two months since the pups were born, don’t ya think it’s time for mom and dad to have a little date night?,” Joel asked, a wry grin spreading out on his face as he did. 

Joel’s eyes twinkled with a wicked playfulness as he grinned at you. Any other person would have been terrified of your mate as he was in that moment, unhinged and ready to pounce on his prey at the drop of a hat, but it stirred up something needy inside of you. Something that, up until two weeks ago, you had been banned from pursuing and still had yet to accomplish due to the hectic schedule attached to having twins. Although you knew that this “date night” would not be the usual kind, you decided right then and there that there was no reason that the two of you couldn’t have a quickie on the way back. 

Joel was brutal like this, all revved up to tear through his enemies, and for some reason it worked on you. It was the way he was willing to do literally anything for your family that turned you on, along with the natural intensity he always carried himself with. Like you, Joel Miller did not love many people, but when he did, he did it with every fiber of his being. To be loved by Joel was to be loved by a raging ocean. It was a constant flood of affection and warmth that swept you away, keeping you enveloped beneath the surface of it forever. 

Not that you had ever once wanted to be saved from it. 

-

The next week moved along slowly as you both prepared. It was risky, especially with how Maria felt about Joel’s place in Jackson, but you didn’t care. Their bodies would be long gone before morning, leaving nothing behind but empty cells for the guards to find when they went to bring them in for their trial. Little did the Jackson community know, the two men had already been sentenced the second they had made the decision to mess with your family. 

Everything was planned out. Jake and Cooper would take the twins, which you had thanked them endlessly for due to the fact they had a newborn as well, one who would undoubtedly be peeved by the racket your pups made on a daily basis. Nevertheless, your best friend had volunteered at the first mention of your sex life having yet to be revived, excitedly agreeing before his mate could say no. 

“Oh my God, why didn’t you start with that? Of course we’ll watch them! Allie has gone all big sister mode for Miriam, I’m sure she’s gonna lose it when she hears that her cousins are going to stay the night,” Jake had babbled excitedly. 

You had watched as he had smacked his mate’s arm, forcing Cooper to give a less than enthusiastic thumbs up to the impromptu sleepover. You didn’t blame the alpha, the thought of having three newborns and a toddler in your house for the night made you want to puke. Nevertheless, you had agreed to the one stipulation that the couple had laid out for you; that you would return the favor to them once they were ready to go on their own date nights. After packing a few bottles of breastmilk for the sleepover, thanking every higher power that Joel had finally managed to score a breast pump from a chance visit to the market, you kissed their chubby cheeks and sent them along to be dropped off by their father.  

Joel had the harder task, distracting his own family from watching his every move as they had been since the perpetrators were caught. To her credit, your mother had helped him in his endeavors. Since the rescue mission that the two of them had gone on together, you still would not call them close by any means, but they had an odd sort of camaraderie. This comradery they shared had weirded you out at first, especially when you heard about the trail of bodies your usually rule-abiding mother had left behind, but you were more than happy to reap the rewards of their strange relationship when Joel managed to score a favor from his partner in crime.   

Maria and Tommy would be, much to their dismay, entertaining the woman in question who was under strict instructions to stall. Whereas Maria would have been harder to crack, your mother was skilled in the art of sniffing out the weaknesses in other people, and had gone in for the kill when her husband was alone. All it took was a few minutes of persistence and Tommy was putty in her hands, agreeing to her idea of a dinner without ever checking in with his mate. Joel had relayed to you how that went with a chuckle, recounting the look of surprise Maria had on her face when Tommy told her, followed by the sharp words she had done a poor job at concealing as they left the dining hall to prepare for the visit. 

With everything set in place, all that was left to do was look the part. You weren’t sure what normal people wore on a date, having never been on one yourself, but you figured it would be good to keep up appearances as you walked throughout town together. Plus, if it made Joel look at you like you wanted him to, the way that made you feel like you were some sort of ethereal being, who said you couldn’t have your cake and eat it too?

Which led you to where you were, standing in front of the mirror as you fixed up the bit of makeup you had snagged from Jake. Although you had dressed reasonably, a clean pair of jeans with no holes paired with a shirt that actually kept your swollen breasts tamped down, you had elected to give yourself a bit of a pick me up in the form of cosmetics. After finishing with the chalky blush that was likely wildly expired, you smoothed down your hair once more and tried to settle your nerves. 

Was it too much? You hoped not. Joel had never told you to dress up, but you wanted to surprise him. For two months, you had to watch as your mate truly came into his own as a father. And whereas you were too exhausted to care much about appearances, for some reason Joel looked unbelievably hot as a disheveled dad. It was as annoying as it was endearing. Which is why you decided to actually try, hoping to give yourself a much needed confidence boost after two months of wearing nothing but baggy clothes that the twins would inevitably spit up on. Nevertheless, the longer you stood in the entryway mirror, the more time you had to focus on the new insecurities that came with birthing two pups. 

“Christ darling, I should take you out on fake dates more often,” a voice laden with a familiar southern twang drawled from behind you, lifting you from the pit of despair in an instant. 

Your eyes lit up as you turned, coming face to face with the devilishly handsome man that took your breath away. Although Joel had not spruced himself to any great degree, you noticed how his hair had been artfully tousled and pushed back with a gel that you knew he had to have borrowed from Tommy. His flannel was clean, along with his jeans, and he had recently shaved. Looking at the absolut hunk you were lucky to call your mate, you realized that he had the same idea.  

“If you promise to clean up like that everytime, then hell ya you should,” you shot back, stepping forward to smooth out his collar for him. 

Joel smiled wide, a bit of pink dusting the highs of his cheekbones from the compliment. He grabbed your hand when you were finished fixing his collar, kissing the back of it as he stared at you so lovingly that you forgot how to breathe. It was a twisted sort of love that the two of you shared, one that held the sweetest moments mixed in with all the chaos and bloodshed, and yet you didn’t want it any other way. You wanted Joel, in all his gentleness and in all his brutality, for as long as he’d have you. 

“The twins are with their uncles and your mama should be on her way over to Tommy’s right now. Are you ready pretty girl?,” he asked, giving you the out that he knew you were never going to take. 

“Let’s do this handsome,” you replied, taking his hand and leaving the safety of your shared home behind. 

A chill had settled over Jackson as September neared its end, something that you had originally cursed. Joel’s birthday was coming up and you had originally planned to do a little picnic as a family, knowing that he’d probably hate anything flashy. However, as you walked hand in hand through the silent streets, you praised mother nature for her unpredictability. With many of the Jackson residents holed up in their homes to save themselves from the brisk nights, there was nobody else around when you finally made it to the small jailhouse along one of the main strips. 

Joel reached into the breast pocket of his coat, brandishing one of the keys he had stolen from his brother’s coat in preparation. The lock opened with a click and Joel nodded to you to go in first, easing the door shut behind him so that he wouldn’t alert anyone who might be lurking in the neighboring shops. You padded through the building, quietly peeking into the empty rooms to ensure there were no guards milling about until you reached the last one. 

“Are you sure about this baby? I know that you said that this is what you wanted, but you can back out at any time. I wouldn’t be mad if you just wanted t-”

“- I said that I wanted them dead Joel and I meant that shit,” you cut him off, voice laden with unmitigated rage, “If you want to turn back then go, I’ll meet you back at the house when I’m done, but I need to make these fuckers cry.” 

Joel smiled widely, almost maniacally, at your bitter words. In two steps, he was in front of you, grabbing your face so that he could kiss you with all of his might. It felt like he was trying to consume you, to squeeze every part of you with his meaty hands as he feasted on the inside of your mouth. And all you could do was take it, already so intoxicated from his touch that Joel had to place a hand on the small of your back to keep you upright. He poured everything he had into that kiss, leaving you breathless and spinning when he finally pulled away. You loved it, and him, so much so that you couldn’t help but leave him with a smattering of pecks all over his face in thanks. 

“Shit honey, I never would have thought that the sweet girl I found by the river would be doing this shit with me. You are fucking nuts and I love you so god damn much for it,” he murmured against your lips. 

“Oh please,” you laughed, “What sweet girl? Last time I checked, I tried to get in your pants almost immediately after meeting you and later went on a murder spree. WE are fucking nuts babe, or else our first date night would probably look a little different than this.” 

Joel chuckled, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” 

“I love you too Joel. There’s nobody else for me, it could only be you,” you sighed, smiling when he brushed a lock of hair behind your ear. 

“Ready?,” Joel asked again, looking deeply into your eyes as he did. 

“What are we waiting for baby? Let’s kick some ass,” you answered, making his smile grow even wider. 

Another kiss was shared, this one slightly more desperate and mean than the other, broken by Joel only after it became clear that the two of you were wasting precious time. Although you longed for him to ravish you against the wall, to drill into you so hard that the guilty parties behind the door could hear the way your pussy gushed around his cock, there was something you needed even more than that. A soft kiss was placed on your cheek before you parted, giving you one final moment of gentleness before Joel swung the door open with all of his might. 

- Joel -

There was something about you like this that drove Joel absolutely fucking wild. Although he had originally been too stupid to believe that it was you that had killed so many of Paul’s men while he was imprisoned, he now got to witness the monstress those men had encountered first hand and she was impressive. It was like there were two versions of the woman he loved, the first being the caring partner who doted upon her family every waking moment, while the second was a ruthless killer that took pleasure in the pain of those who had wronged her. Joel was slightly embarrassed to admit, but it made his pants tighter to see you so mean and he had to subtly readjust himself quite a few times as he watched you work. 

After knocking the two assholes out, the two of you had used the cover of night to drag their unconscious bodies through the same breach they had dragged you through, which you had called poetic justice. Neither of you stopped until you were out of the sewers and a few miles outside of Jackson’s walls so that nobody, not even a patrol that was late getting back from their evening shift, could hear them scream. Luckily, there was a small barn that sat next to an old dilapidated farmhouse a few miles out, one that had made you both smile when you saw all the tools hanging on the walls. 

The man who had stolen the lunchbox and kept it as a trophy had gone first. His tough guy act had been dropped fast, as Joel had launched at him the second he got the go ahead from you. There was something so personal about the way the man had stolen the bag you had sewn for him, the same one that you had filled with a lunch and walked down to the stables to give to him directly, and it made Joel a bit unhinged. While he beat the man into a bloody pulp, his buddy had watched in horror, astounded at the brutality before him. 

Joel had to admit that he went a little overboard with the first guy, too furious to make it last like he had wanted it to, but you didn’t seem to mind. You watched him the entire time, never once flinching or asking him to stop, and had even leaned into the other man’s ear to toy with him a bit while his friend was killed. He didn’t hear what you said but whatever it was, it had the other man shaking like a leaf the second you pulled away from him. 

With most of his rage quelled from killing the first man, Joel allowed you to take the lead with the second. As he watched you toy with the man some more, draining him both physically and mentally, he felt like he was getting to see a whole new side of his mate. When Tommy had sat across from him in a rundown bar two months ago and said that Joel had found his match in the supposedly “feral” omega he had claimed, he hadn’t fully understood what his brother meant. To him, you were the sweetest and most forgiving person in the world. But as he saw the fear in the man’s eyes as you tore off his fingernails one by one and promised to wipe any trace of his existence off the face of the planet, he suddenly understood what Tommy meant. Despite the misleading appearance, you were someone who should be feared, just like him. 

When you finally decided that the man had had enough, you slit his throat. More blood sprayed from the gaping wound, further soiling your already blood stained clothes as you watched the wretched man fall to the floor and die. What a shame, Joel thought to himself. He really had liked that top on you, but oh well. This was more important anyways. The man’s body jerked one last time before it stilled for good, eyes blindly staring up at the rafters as his murderer stepped over his body to get to her lover. 

“Alright honey?,” Joel asked when you reached him, uncaring of how filthy either of you were as he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you against him. 

“Best first date ever,” you sang, pushing some of the curls that had flopped onto his forehead out of the way. 

“Christ, you’re fucking sick,” he chuckled, with not a hint of judgement in his voice as he did. 

“And you love it,” you pointed out with a mischievous grin. 

Joel couldn’t deny it, he loved every bit of you, even the parts that might make others quiver with fear. Which was why he didn’t care about the bodies on the floor of the barn or the blood splattered across the both of you when he lifted you up, smashing his lips against yours as he led you over to the workbench on the other side of the room. Desperate hands yanked at his flannel, uncaring as they ripped the buttons clean off so that they scattered all over the floor. He chuckled at your eagerness, pulling back for a second to catch his breath and stare at the absolute seductress clinging to him. His cock ached to be inside of you, ruthlessly thrusting away as your nails raked angry red lines down his back, but he hesitated. 

“Baby, there’s nothing else I’d rather do right now than fuck you like there’s no tommorrow, but are you sure? We ain’t done nothing since before the twins were born and if you’re not ready we can wait. I don’t mind going home and cuddling up on the -”

A desperate whine tore out of you, making his eyes widen as you began to scrabble at his belt buckle like you were starved for cock. Joel didn’t blame you for being desperate, at that point he could write a three part book series on how much he missed the taste of your dripping cunt on his tongue. 

“I’ve been waiting for you to fuck me for the past two weeks Joel, if you don’t do something to me in the next five minutes then I swear I’m going to go home and use the showerhead. I won’t even let you watch,” you threatened, which made his brain short circuit for a solid ten seconds. 

Joel grabbed your hands when he was back online, shooting you a pointed look that made you bite back a grin. Just like always, he fell into your trap so easily, completely powerless to your charm. He had originally thought that since it was the first time having sex since giving birth, he would go slow, sensually easing you back into the world of pleasure so that you didn’t feel any pain. However, it seemed that he had forgotten who it was that he was mated to. 

Joel had forgotten just how insatiable the two of you were for each other until that moment. He chuckled darkly when he remembered how he had once fucked you in your childhood bedroom, barely even two weeks after the both of you had almost died. Injuries be damned, you had swindled him into slamming himself into your silken walls, using you like a toy until he locked himself inside. Now, once again, you wanted him to give you his all and he was more than happy to oblige. 

“Aw, has daddy been neglecting you baby? I bet that pretty pussy has missed me, hm? Bet she needs something to stretch her out again. Probably soaking through those little panties, begging me to fuck her so hard that she never forgets who she belongs to,” Joel teased. 

The moan you let out at that was like music to his ears and Joel dropped your hands so that he could work his way down your body. He sucked angry marks into your neck, leaving behind dark little love bites for any resident of Jackson to see when they walked past you. It was pointless, as everyone in town already knew that you were his. If Joel’s claim over you wasn’t enough, the two pups that looked like miniature versions of the both of you simply had to be. Nevertheless, it soothed him to know that when they saw the fresh marks along your delicate skin that they would think of him. They would know that you were his and you were being taken care of by him alone.  

Joel helped you out of your shirt first, groaning at the sight of your tits spilling out of the only bra that could sort of hold them. Since they had begun to swell with milk, he had started to physically restrain himself from launching himself at you. Everytime you whipped your top off to change or shower, Joel felt like he was going to die if he didn’t get his face between them. Which was why he often found himself uttering a quick excuse so that he could jerk off in a quiet corner of the house, stroking himself until he came into his fist embarrassingly quick with your name on his lips. But as he tore the bra clean off your chest, there was nothing holding him back from his fantasies anymore. 

“Jesus fucking Christ honey, these are gonna kill me,” he loudly groaned, pressing kisses all over the taut skin around your sensitive nipples. 

“F-Fuck,” you whimpered, grabbing fistfuls of his curls when he finally popped one of the leaking buds into his mouth, insatiable for you as he sucked at it hard. 

Joel wasn’t sure what he expected, having never done this before with anyone, but he couldn’t stop himself even if he tried. He had dreamed of it for too long, shamefully tugging his cock raw to the thought of it in lieu of ever bringing it up. There weren’t many things in Joel’s life that had made him feel true embarrassment, but the thought of asking his mate to let him suck on her leaking tits as he played with his cock was up there. Plus, with you still healing from birthing the twins, he didn’t want you to feel like you HAD to help him fulfill his twisted little fantasy. 

A spurt of milk dripped onto Joel’s tongue and you both groaned, the fingers in his hair tightening yet not pulling him off as he drank it down. It was sweeter than he had originally thought it would be, with a slightly nutty taste that deepened the flavor, and he knew in an instant that he would forever be ravenous for more. At first he started slowly, his eyes rolling into the back of his head as he lost himself in the moment he had fantasized about for two months, but by the time he moved onto the other side he was greedy. He pulled the hardened nub between his teeth to suck at the sweetness, his cock throbbing already as you twitched and whined beneath him. 

“Joel, oh my god, fuuuck,” you moaned. 

He popped off your overly sensitive nipple, looking up at you with his pupils blown and a bit of breast milk leaking out the side of his mouth. Panting from his ministrations, you let out a needy sound at the sight of him and yanked him forward for a kiss. Joel groaned into it, letting you taste yourself as he delved deeper into your mouth. It was filthy, with the blood of your victims still splattered across your bodies as his tongue tangled with yours, but it only made him harder. You were his true love in every sense and he felt it so deeply in that moment that he almost cried. Which was why when the two of you finally broke apart for air, he couldn’t wait any longer. 

“I need to taste this pretty pussy honey, right fucking now or else I’m gonna lose it. You have no idea how much I’ve missed her,” Joel growled, kneeling before the workbench so that he could rip the clothes off your lower half and throw your legs over his shoulders. 

With your dripping cunt inches from his ravenous gaze, Joel licked his lips and looked up at you, waiting for any sign of hesitation on your part. Even though he was practically foaming at the mouth for a chance to bury his face between the softness of your thighs, he needed to know that it was okay, that he truly had the greenlight to have you as he had before. The shaky nod you gave him was all the permission Joel needed to begin and he grinned up at you wolfishly, licking a stripe up your seam with his broad tongue that made you whine his name. 

The fingers that delved into Joel’s hair urged him onwards and he parted your folds with his thick fingers, admiring the way your clit pulsed with need as slick steadily poured from your core. He gathered all of the spit in his mouth, dripping it from his mouth so that it made you jump when it landed on your clit. You didn’t need it, as you were already so wet that it was leaking onto the wood below your ass, but Joel wanted a part of himself added to the mix. Reaching forward, he rubbed his saliva into the hardened bud with slow circles, teasing you just enough to have you thrashing in his hold. 

“What baby? Thought you wanted me to touch ya,” Joel chuckled. 

You whimpered, “Please don’t be mean daddy, I’ve missed having you like this.”

The admission made Joel’s heart race, the poor organ thundering against the walls of his chest as his cheeks flushed red.  Although he loved seeing you thrive as a mom for the past two months and had no problem waiting for as long as you needed, he’d be lying if he said he didn’t miss it too. Having you in his grasp as you begged him for something that only he could give you was like every wet dream Joel had ever had come to life and he thanked his lucky stars that you humored him. 

“M’sorry sweet girl, you’re right. She needs me real bad, huh?,” he sighed, drawing circles over your hips as he did. 

“Since we got here daddy,” you pouted, breaking through his resolve with a set of doe eyes that played him like a fiddle, “Really liked watching you take charge, you looked so sexy and strong. Had to press my thighs together a few times when you weren’t looking, m’so achy for it.”

Joel cussed at that, cock jumping against his zipper as his mind reeled at your words. The thought of you getting off to him killing that man, just as he had got off to you killing the other, made him leak into his jeans. And you knew it would, Joel saw it in the way you bit your lip with the most innocent expression you could muster, practically begging him to fuck you until you were howling like a bitch in heat. 

“You’re such a dirty little slut for me, aren’t ya baby?,” Joel teased, laughing when a gush of slick further dampened the wood below you. 

The whimper you let out was turned into a high pitched keen when Joel leaned in and latched onto your core. It had been a long two months without your shaking thighs around his head as he drank you down like you were the finest brandy he had ever tasted, but he was finally home. He wasted no time, already so turned on that he had to reach down and release himself from his jeans before his dick had the permanent indent of a zipper on it for the rest of his life. 

“M-More, please, I need more,” you whined. 

The tugs on his graying curls grew increasingly persistent, until one sharp pull made him draw back from your core with a husky moan. The sharp sting traveled from his scalp, all the way down his spine, to his cock, which throbbed in response. Joel didn’t dare take himself in his hands, knowing that if he did it would be over in a few quick strokes. He was so pent up, so desperate for you, that he was surprised he hadn’t cum in his pants like a teenager when he was sucking on your nipples. Fearing that he might explode if he didn’t distract himself, he heeded your request. 

Joel watched your expressions closely as he slipped the first finger inside, testing the waters as he continued to circle your clit with his tongue just right. He waited a bit, stroking that sweet spot that only he could easily reach with the pad of his index finger until you begged him for more. When he was sure you were ready, another finger slipped in alongside the first, then another, until he had three fingers scissoring inside of you. He felt you open up for him, blooming beautifully under the digits that thrusted away inside your clenching walls as he sucked your clit between his lips, and it made his heart sing. Joel had been so worried that the first time back at it wouldn’t be fun for you, but as you shook and moaned beneath him, he was happy to have been mistaken. 

“J-Joel oh shit, yes, yes, yes. S’good, you’re so good, fuck,” you babbled, yanking him impossibly closer as you reached the precipice. 

He moaned at the sparks that skittered down his spine, bringing all of his nerve endings alive as you used him for your own pleasure. Just when Joel thought he might die if he didn’t taste your cum on his tongue, you let out a garbled cry and bucked against his face hard, making him slam your ass back down against the workbench so that he could work you through it. Your release bathed his face in the most delicious nectar he had ever tasted, the same one he had dreamed about for months, and he drank up every bit of it. Joel was insatiable, suckling at your folds like a man possessed until you were groaning from the overstimulation and weakly shoving him away from your spent core. 

“Oh my fucking god Joel, I’ve missed that,” you panted, giggling at him when he finally pulled his shiny face away from your folds. 

Joel playfully nipped at your hands when they reached down to clean some of the release from his face and his heart sang as he heard the full-blown belly laugh you gave him in return. He joined you, chuckling as he stood up and wrapped your twitching legs around his hips. The way you looked at him had him on cloud nine, so much so that he almost forgot about everything else. 

All Joel wanted in that moment was to hold you as tightly as he could, refusing to let go until you made him. However, when he leaned forward to fully embrace you, he felt his cock brush against your weeping slit and nearly blacked out. An embarrassingly loud groan that was half a whimper, half a garbled shout, rang out in the air and his fingers dug into your hips hard. He wasn’t sure how long he stood there, dizzy and panting as he tried to get it together, but it must have been a while because you had to say his name more than a couple times to get his full attention. 

“Joel,” you repeated, finally bringing him back from the fog he was under. 

Joel didn’t even realize that he had snapped his eyelids shut, too focused on not cumming before he had the chance to feel your walls wrap around him to pay attention to anything else. With the softest gaze, you pulled his face closer to yours and brushed your lips over his. Although he longed for you to claim his mouth in a searing kiss, you resisted him, continuing to ghost your lips over his until his entire body broke out in goosebumps. Joel was in a daze when you finally pulled away, completely drunk off of you as you cupped his face with both hands. In that moment, he would have torn his heart out of his chest and presented it to you on a silver platter if you asked him to. Hell, he’d do it anyway if he thought it would make you smile. 

“Stay with me baby, it’s just you and me,” you chided softly. 

Joel nodded dutifully at your request. How could he not? He had never claimed to be a particularly smart man, but when the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life was naked and asking something of him, he knew enough to not argue. Instead, Joel gripped his length and pressed it to your entrance, pausing to look at you for confirmation one last time before he pressed inside. 

“Still good honey?,” he checked in, ready to back down the second it became too much for you. 

“Please Joel, I need to feel you again. It's been way too long,” you begged, gazing up at him so lovingly that he felt his stomach do an excited little flip in response. 

“Okay baby, I gotchu. Just tell me if something hurts or you wanna slow down, okay? Please honey, I want to make you feel good. Promise me you’ll say something if m’not,” Joel implored. 

“I promise,” you whispered, closing the space between the two of you with a kiss that muffled his whiny moans as he pushed himself inside. 

Joel was slow at first, focusing on the way your lips felt against his to keep himself from slamming into you like he wanted to. He told himself that it was you he was worried about as he worked himself inside as gently as he could, but in reality it was him that was the issue. When Joel finally slid home, he let out a high pitched whimper that reddened the tops of his ears, his hips twitching as the half formed knot at the base of his cock begged him to fuck you into the workbench until you screamed. 

“Joel, you can move,” you mumbled, threading your fingers through his hair to scratch at his scalp. 

He shivered, letting out another desperate noise as he melted into you. Joel was at a loss for words, so drunk off your intoxicating scent that he felt like he wasn’t even in his body. Just seconds ago, he was the one calling the shots, and now all he could do was nose at the side of your neck as he let out the most pathetic whines. 

“M’sorry sweet girl, my girl, f-fuck,” Joel groaned, unable to keep himself from languidly thrusting in and out of you as he did, “I’m not going to last long, you feel too good, too soft, shii-it. This pussy is too fucking perfect, she’s fucking choking my cock baby fuuuck.” 

Joel’s hips stuttered as you clenched around him, making him pick up the pace a bit despite his attempts to keep himself under control. Nevertheless, it seemed that you were determined to break him and he hissed as he felt you clamp your teeth down on the gland on his neck. A rush of endorphins flowed through him as you broke the skin, your tongue sealing what must’ve been the hundredth claim you’ve made over him. It made all the muscles in his back tighten up but he tried hard not to completely lose it, ignoring the way that his cock was steadily leaking fat globs of precum into your stuffed cunt. 

“Don’t want you to hold back daddy, fuck me like you want to, like I’m your little slut. Want to see you cum for me, need it so bad. Don’t ya want to give it to me?” you asked softly. 

Joel’s eyes rolled into the back of his head at your filthy words. Although he was under strict orders from the doctor not to cum inside of you unless he wanted another mouth to feed before the other two were out of diapers, he suddenly wanted to throw caution to the wind and knot you anyways. He wouldn’t do that, but your words still made him draw his hips all the way back, until just the tip of his cock remained before he slammed himself back inside with one brutal thrust. Stilling for half a second for any pained cries from you, he was relieved to feel your fingers dig into his shoulders as your pussy eagerly welcomed him back in with a lewd squelch that echoed throughout the barn. 

“Shit darling, listen to how wet she is for me,” Joel drawled, starting an unforgivingly fast and hard pace that had you crying out for him in seconds. 

“J-J-J-,” you stuttered, already too fucked out to answer him as his hips pistoned into the cradle of yours with all his might. 

With a clenched jaw, Joel lifted one of your legs so that it hung over his shoulder, opening you up so that he could reach even deeper than before. He watched with a smug grin as you collapsed against the bench, head lolling against the wood as you babbled nonsense. The way your tits jiggled with each thrust as he rammed himself inside had him a daze. So much so that Joel barely registered your cries when he brought your other leg up to drape over his opposite shoulder, effectively bending you in half as he leaned forward to smash his lips into yours. 

The kiss was nothing more than an assertion of dominance, with him using his skilled tongue to make your mind spin as he fucked into you with all his might. Joel needed you to remember this, to remember how good he was at taking care of you like this so that you would never think to look at another. He wasn’t an idiot, he knew that there were other people in Jackson who had noticed how sexy you looked after bouncing back from having the twins. He saw the way they stared at your cleavage as you walked by, regardless of the way his bite marks stained your neck. Joel knew you had options and he trusted you completely, he just needed to remind you why you had picked him over the pricks in town that tried with all their might to peep down your shirt when they thought he wasn’t looking. 

“Mmmpfh, daddy please,” you squealed when he pulled away from the kiss to gulp down lungfuls of air, bringing him back from the spell you had him under just moments before. 

“What babygirl? What d’ya need?,” Joel huffed, continuing to pummel your pussy into submission as he did. 

You whimpered, too lost in pleasure to voice your request. Luckily, Joel knew you better than he knew himself most days, which meant that he knew exactly what you needed. He shoved his thumb into your mouth, making you gag on it as he kissed your neck and whispered sweet nothings in your ear. When your pussy started clenching around him, getting tighter and tighter by the second, he quickly withdrew the digit from your mouth and drifted it downwards so that he could rub tight circles against your wildly throbbing clit. 

“JOEL!,” you screeched. 

Joel laughed at that, surprised at how responsive you were to his touch, and decided to up the ante a bit by leaning forward to capture one of your swollen nipples into his mouth again. With his cock slamming into you so hard that it knocked a few tears from your eyes, his thumb working your nub as his mouth alternated between both of your sensitive tits, you were a disaster. All it took was one sharp bite to your left nipple and you were gone, your release spraying out of you and soaking his thighs as you came. And Joel could do nothing but fuck you through it, using every last bit of restraint he had not to knot you like he wanted to. 

He kept going until your pussy finally released him from its tight hold, finally allowing him to pull out so that he could rub himself to the sight of you. As Joel tugged on his dick, grunting as he watched the way your pussy gaped from his absence, he had to continuously remind himself not to follow his instincts. Now wasn’t the time to knot you, as it would undoubtedly lead to yet another child that neither of you were ready for. Nevertheless, it took everything in him not to slam himself inside and spray your walls with white as he had countless times before. 

However, it seemed you understood his conundrum, as you quickly reached up to yank his face back into your chest. Joel whined, his eyes rolling into the back of his head as he latched on to your swollen nipples again. He felt his cock throb painfully as he continued to fuck his fist, slurping up every dribble of sweet milk that touched his tongue as he did. But it was when you started whispering in his ear, playing with the curls on the back of his neck as your honeyed words brought him to the edge, that he knew it was over for him. 

“C’mon daddy, don’t you want to paint my tits with your cum? I want you to get them all filthy, just like you did with my pussy. Please Joel, for me?,” you cooed. 

That sent Joel flying off the edge and he pulled back so that he could spray thick ropes of white all over you. He came so hard that he had to lock his knees so that he wouldn’t fall backwards, spurting cum over your swollen breasts, your cute tummy, the patch of curls that adorned your pretty pussy, and even the bottom of your chin. When he was finally drained of it, he slumped into you with a sigh, burying his nose into your gland so he could gorge himself on your scent as he came down. Joel didn’t care about the way his cum was sandwiched between the two of you, likely sticking to his abdomen as well, all he cared about was getting as close to you as he possibly could. 

“Joel, baby,” you called to him after some time, lifting some of the fog that had settled over his sated mind. 

“Joel’s not home, call back later,” he groaned, hugging you even tighter in defiance. 

The laugh you let out made him smile and he pulled his face back a few inches so he could watch it unfold. The brightness in your eyes when you looked at him was something Joel could never get used to, his breath stuttering in his chest every time he saw it. It made him want to do something crazy like brand himself with your initials or find the ring he had been thinking about getting for the past two months. Perhaps one was less crazy than the other, but Joel didn’t care. He would do both in a heartbeat. At that point, all it really came down to was whether he found the branding iron or the ring first. 

“Baby, as much as I’d love to stay here and cuddle, my mom has probably already left Tommy’s place. We’ve gotta clean up and head back before they realize we’re gone,” you reminded him. 

Joel made an indignant noise at the reality check but nodded, pulling away with annoyed grunt to emphasize his distaste. As he looked down at himself and then you, he gasped when he realized how much of a mess you both were. Dirt, blood, slick, and cum covered every inch of your bodies, ensuring that any Jackson resident that ran into the two of you on the way back would have nightmares about it for the rest of their lives. Nearly every piece of clothing the both of you had was tattered and bloodied, leaving Joel standing there dumbfounded as he tried to think of what to do. 

“Baby, don’t worry about it, mama came prepared. I packed a spare set of clothes for the both of us. It’s over there in the diaper bag,” you said, pointing towards the bag that usually held all the supplies needed for the pups, “Can you grab it for me?” 

He balked, “You packed spare clothes for this? In our children’s diaper bag?”

“What other big-ass bag could a mom get away with carrying around at all hours of the night? Plus, I had a feeling we’d need it.,” you shrugged, “There’s wipes in there too. Now, can you grab the bag or do you want me walking over there with these wobbly ass legs?” 

Joel shook his head in disbelief, turning so that he could snatch the bag from the corner of the room. Although he wanted to argue that carrying the diaper bag for this type of mission was ridiculous, he had to hand it to you; he hadn’t once noticed that you had brought it along. Since Alba and Ellis had been born, the light green bag was always slung over either your shoulder or his. So much so that it had begun to blend into the background of day to day life. And as he used the wipes you had brought to clean the filth from his skin, he was appreciative of your ongoing ability to surprise him. 

After Joel was changed into the fresh pair of jeans you had packed, along with the thicker flannel you had been thoughtful enough to stuff alongside his t-shirt to save him from the cold, he turned towards the mess. Blood was stuck to the sides of the walls, staining the wood as it dripped down onto the dirt floor below. The bodies were another issue, as he wasn’t sure how he could possibly make their deaths look natural. Not only that, but burying them would leave a patch of disturbed ground that would give them away way too easily. Joel briefly wondered about dragging them into the abandoned town and making it seem like the infected had gotten to them, but decided he didn’t want to risk the two of you running into a horde. 

“What are we gonna do?,” you asked him as you finished dressing, quickly coming to the same conclusion as him. 

Joel sighed, “Suppose we probably should have thought that before we killed ‘em.” 

When you didn’t answer, he groaned, rubbing the bridge of his nose as he tried to conjure up a solution that didn’t give you both away. Joel wasn’t sure what would happen if evidence of their brutal deaths was stumbled upon by the patrols, but he was sure that he didn’t want to find out. Maria had already placed him on thin ice, and he knew that if he was ever ousted that there would be no way he would be able to convince you to stay in Jackson without him, regardless of how many times he tried to argue that it was the safest option for the twins. 

The thought of the two of you lugging Ellis and Alba back through Wyoming, all the way to the only other home that you had shared together in Montana, made him lightheaded. It was fall, soon to be winter, and if anything held the trip up, he wasn’t sure that the twins would be able to survive the harsh cold that came with being on the open road. Not only that, but Joel couldn’t remember what kind of supplies he had left at the cabin, and he wasn’t sure what he would do if the seasons had messed with the solar panels he had once relied upon. Plus, if Paul’s men had found you both there, who's to say that something like that couldn’t happen again? Although all of your shared enemies were vanquished, there were still a lot of people in the world that wanted Joel dead. People that might be thrilled to find out he had a mate and two pups he loved very much, people that might use that against him in the cruelest ways imaginable. 

“What if they smoked?,” you piped up, pulling him from the downward spiral he was headed towards.

“What?,” Joel sighed, the exasperation in his tone evident as he turned towards you. 

“I said, what if they smoked?,” you repeated. 

Joel watched as you walked to the other side of the room to grab something from one of the shelves, flashing him a pack of camels with a toothy grin. At first he wasn’t sure what you meant, but then it dawned upon him. There were bales of hay stacked in one corner of the space and the wood that held up the structure was so dry that the whole thing would probably collapse the moment flames reached the sides of it. Plus, a fire meant that any evidence would be turned to ash by the time anyone got to it, all that would be left would be bones. 

You tossed him the ancient pack of cigarettes, along with a box of matches that had a cartoon farmer smoking a pipe on the front, and Joel grinned at you from across the room. 

“Honey, you’re a fucking genius.” 

YOU JUST DROPPED THIS GEM WITH NO WARNING? Is it part of a wip tehe?

hi can I share this little thought I had?

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NSFW

She lets out a small whimper and the new sensation, "It's too much. It's too much… I can't…"

Her hands on Cregan's chest are trembling even though they don't hold any of her weight.

She's never been on top before, and it's getting to her.

Cregan reaches up and grabs her jaw, pulling her face down to his gently. His voice was a calm reassurance,"It's not. Look at me."

He waits until she does, "You know you can take it. You've taken it before. You're just panicking. Take a breath."

He watches her chest expand and contrast with a shaky breath. 

"Do it again."

He makes her continue this until he can feel her walls relax around him. 

"Good. You're doing good, sweet girl."

His hands go to her hips and gently push her further down on him more.

This time a moan leaves her lips instead. "Cregan…"

A string of groans leaves Cregan's lips when she begins to roll her hips. 

Judging by the confidence she just gained, they'll be doing this position more often.

......................................................