I Know Im Mainly A Murder Drones Blog, But Id Like To Talk About The Amazing Digital Circus For A Second.
I know im mainly a murder drones blog, but id like to talk about the amazing digital circus for a second. How its been growing onto me, and my thoughts about it.
(/srs trigger warning for mentions of existential terror, depression, relapsing, gender dysphoria, etc. literally just major hazard signs rn 😺😺)
Now im absolutely not saying that im gonna get hyperfixated on TADC now that murder drones is over. I dont think any shows going to top murder drones for at least a couple years. But undeniably, goose has had amazing writing for these 3 episodes.
"Why are you just NOW talking about tadc?"
I have rlly bad existential terror, which is why i personally avoid active interaction with the series/fanbase.
Now ever since i watched the pilot, ive always had a feeling that TADC had some underlying elements of mental illness, and episode 3 basically confirmed that for me. Now im not saying that the shows gonna have a big "Oh look when you love yourself anythings possible!!" or something like that. quite the opposite actually, i think this series js gonna show the rough and the gruff of mental illness. Anywho! here are some moments im trying to talk about right now are
1: Caine talking to zooble about how he might be bad at the only thing hes good at, while the world glitches out around them.
2: Kinger talking about how the best thing you can do in your life, is to love other people.
3: Zooble saying how no matter the parts they try on, theyve never found anything that makes them feel comfortable.
4: Pomnis constant existential dread throughout the series
Why do i wanna talk about these scenes in particular?
1: starting with Caines very obvious comment, i really sympathized with this one. Being told something even remotely along the lines of "your not good at something" can already be devastating. Especially when that something is your everything, the thing you wake up to do. The thing that keeps you going. When you dont have that something, it can feel like theres no point. you can feel like YOU have no point. I didn't want to get too personal on tumblr (especially on my main acc) but ive struggled with depression and existential terror for years, having something to always make me excited to do was what got me up and running, every single day. When i was told that something was pointless or i was bad at that something, it always either led me to an episode or relapsing. Having that accurately represented in media is HARD, its hard to even put into words. and goose did it with 2 lines of dialect.
2: Something thats always gotten me through, everything, was remembering nothing matters in the world besides the love i put into it. This isnt anything major like what i had to talk about with caines or the other moments, but this was something that probably would have left me feeling existential and scared without that reminder. The kinger development was real in this episode!!
3: Zooble has ALWAYS been great rep in TADC, but i really did like their B plot in this episode. Im a demigirl, demigirls are people who identify as girls but do not feel fully connected to the identity. If it's easier to understand, think of it like a mix of Female and Non Binary. Zooble HAS been confirmed as non binary, usually when a show does confirm someone's gender, its usually not a struggle we get to see them go through. We usually see them at a stage where they've already come to complete terms with their identity. Goose is ACTUALLY showing us some of zoobles daily struggles they go through. with no matter how many parts they try on, how much they change, they never feel fully comfortable. Watching this scene ACTUALLY got me emotional because ive felt this way too. No matter how much makeup i put on, or how many skirts and bows i wore, i never felt fully like a girl. And no matter how much i tried to hide my chest, or how much hair was put into a bun, i never felt fully androgynous. having a show that accurately represents that feels unreal.
4: Ever since the pilot, i knew existential dread was going to be a key aspect of this series. As a child, not knowing the term yet, i struggled with existential dread. Existential dread for those unaware of the term, is a feeling of anxiety or discomfort when thinking about lifes meaning. Now, older me, struggles with existential terror. For those unaware of that term, it is a term that refers to the cognitive and emotional experience of recognizing the inevitability of death, which is often accompanied by feelings of angst, isolation from others, and awareness of meaninglessness.
For a shorter explanation:
Existential Dread = Uneasy/Anxiety when questioned about the meaning of life
Existential Terror = Anxiety about the inevitably of death and the acceptance of meaninglessness
Existential terror and dread are NOT a package deal! you CAN have one without the other,
Though pomnis definitely on the Dread -> Terror pipeline, i do believe she hasnt showed enough fear about the inevitable for me to say she experiences both.
Regardless, this was one of the main reasons i was hyped for TADC when the pilot released, To get representation for something so big, so prominent in my everyday life i now consider apart of me to be in a INDIE ANIMATION?? let alone THE GLITCH PRODUCTIONS?? i was freaking hyped UP!
EVERY SINGLE EPISODE OF THIS SERIES HAS DONE AN EXCELLENT JOB AT SHOWCASING THIS. the rep alone was what inspired me to create this post!
UNFINISHED POST!
REASON?? i got tired
WILL BE UPDATED!
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