Hi !! I'm New To Following You. I Read Some Of Your Stories And I Really Love How The Way You Write.

hi !! I'm new to following you. I read some of your stories and I really love how the way you write. especially the "perfect present". just wanted to ask if you could write a smut about Renjun again. I really love your writing.

coffee shop date | h.rj

❯ summary: After being stood up for a date several times at the small coffee shop that your friend-of-a-friend Renjun works at, he sits down with you to keep you company after closing hours. But talking isn’t exactly what he has in mind.

❯ pairings: renjun x fem!reader

❯ genre: coffee shop!au, smut, fluff, slight angst.

❯ words: 3.1k

❯ tags: 18+ minors dni!, smut, fluff, oral sex (fem!receiving), unprotected sex (wrap it up), semi public sex, brief hair pulling, renjun is super sweet, brief mention of marking, lots of kissing, reader uses she/her pronouns, reader gets stood up so renjun makes her feel better.

“Still a no-show?”

His words snap you out of the trance you had been put in by the buzzing of the coffee machines and the gentle clinking of porcelain cups.

“Huh?” You blink at him, then remember the reason you’re even here in the first place. “Oh, no. I mean, yeah. Still a no-show.” 

Renjun stands leaned over at the counter, scribbling circles on a little notepad by the cash register.

“It’s almost closing time,” he looks down at his wristwatch, “So unless he comes sprinting in the next 30 seconds, I think his time is up. What is this, the third time?” 

“Well, the first time it was an actual emergency, so I don’t think I should count that one”, you state. 

You had matched with a guy on Tinder who seemed really keen on meeting you, but he had yet to actually show up to any of your scheduled coffee dates. The first time, he had ended up in the ER for a ligament injury, and he had sent photos from the hospital explaining that he was really sorry. The other two times seemed to have just been unfortunate coincidences.  

Still, you weren’t really the busy bee of the century, so the long days at the coffee shop hadn’t been too torturous. As head barista, Renjun had the privilege to witness all three instances of you spending the majority of your day sitting in his coffee shop, patiently waiting for someone that would never show up.

Renjun scrunches his nose, giving you an amused sceptical face.

“You know what, let’s give him one last chance”, he suggests. “I’m not in a rush to close up, let’s give him the chance to do the last-minute chase down thing you see in the movies.”

He rips the cap off of a large marker pen with his teeth and starts writing something on the notebook paper. When he finishes, he recaps the marker and dramatically unveils his masterpiece to you.

《CLOSED FOR TODAY, UNLESS YOUR NAME IS JENO AND YOU’RE LATE FOR A VERY IMPORTANT TINDER DATE (PLEASE YELL VERY LOUDLY AND WE’LL LET YOU IN.)》

You roll your eyes in a smile whilst Renjun pulls the blinds shut and tapes the handmade sign on the outside of the door. After locking the door, he plops down on the chair next to you, before immediately shooting back up on his feet. 

“Want anything to drink?” He asks. 

You look down at your long-empty latte mug, and slosh around the tiny bit of foam left at the bottom. “I don’t think I should have any more caffeine today.” 

He raises his hands in an “ok”-sign and disappears behind the coffee bar counter for a short while.

The reason you were even in this coffee shop in particular was because Renjun and you had a mutual friend who swore by this location being the very best place for first dates. But now that you had spent some time here, you seriously doubted the first date part.

Instead, you were pretty sure that the real magic was Renjun’s way to light up the place with good vibes. During your long hours here, you had never once seen anyone leave without a smile or at least a smirk on their face. Even when the newly hired barista got an order slightly wrong at times, Renjun’s way of interacting with customers was just too sincere and charming to leave anyone upset. 

He comes back with a coffee cup for himself and a plate of cookies and sits down. “Leftovers”, he says. “Would be a shame to throw them out.” 

You grab one gratefully.

“So, this Jeno guy, what makes him so special anyway?” Renjun asks between sips. You furrow your brow in thought for a few seconds before replying.

“I don’t actually know an awful lot about him. He seems very driven, and confident. I guess it sort of flatters me that he would think of me as worthy of his attention”, you reply, your words sounding a bit more pathetic than you intended. 

Renjun chuckles. “You’re kidding, right? I’ve seen several people staring at you like you’re their blushing bride.” 

“You don’t have to lie to make me feel better.” 

He shakes his head — offended that you think he would even lie to you. 

“You know, Jisung, the delivery guy?” He asks and you nod. 

“I’ve had to unload the coffee bean deliveries myself for the last two weeks because when he does it, the guy ends up drooling like a zombie whenever he sees you. You’re quite the chore to hang out with, you know?” He pauses for a split second before adding, “No, sorry, that came out wrong. I didn’t mean you were a bother, but you for sure don’t have a shortage of suiters.”

You look down at your hands holding the cookie and chew slowly in thought. You knew you weren’t a complete lost cause or anything, but you had never really noticed anyone straight up ogling you in public. 

“Well, I know I’m not the best at accepting compliments, but that still sounds like some grossly exaggerated bullshit, Jun.”

His smile widens and he lets out a scoffing chuckle. He lowers his face and tilts his head with searching, focused eyes to coax you to make eye contact with him again. 

It works.

“Hey”, he begins, with his eyebrows raised in a smug but caring expression. “You’re pretty, okay?” 

Your instant reflex is to scrunch your face up in a cringing reaction. 

“No, no, no, no, no, none of that,” he objects. 

You try your best to hold eye contact and not squirm when he repeats himself. 

“You’re pretty. You’re a very pretty girl.” He dramatically grabs your face with both of his hands and shakes you gently for comedic effect. “You’re a nice, sweet, person. You’re hot, and this Jeno guy can get screwed because he doesn’t know what he’s missing.” 

You swallow unwillingly hard. Renjun’s facial expression fades from an amused smile, to a more serious stare, and then into a confident smirk.

“You’re adorable”, he begins. He gently kisses your forehead, his hands still placed on the sides of your face.

“And funny.” His lips now move to your nose, and he gives it a kiss, just like he did with your forehead.

“And so fucking hot”, he says breathily before touching his lips to yours. 

Your brain struggles to comprehend the sudden development of the situation, but luckily your body responds faster, kissing back and placing your hands over his own to signal your willingness.

The gentle pecks quickly turn to rougher kisses, and his fingers weave to make gentle circles in your hair. Your mouths meet and depart in unpredictable intervals repeatedly. Renjun’s right hand loosens its grip on your head and places itself on the small of your back, pulling you closer until you were practically seated on his lap.

His other hand wanders to your thigh, just barely creeping underneath the hem of your dress. The fact that he was so clear on what he wanted this to turn into, without being disrespectful, makes your stomach drop and your head dizzy. This entire experience felt like a rollercoaster where each turn was an exhilarating surprise.

You reach your hands up to his chest and unbutton the two buttons on his work uniform. You feel him smile in the kiss at your gesture of confirmation. His grip on your thigh tightens as he pulls you even closer to his own body. 

Renjun finally breaks the kiss by tilting his head down, pressing your foreheads together. His eyes focus intently on your torso, and he runs his hands gently along the contour of your body, slowly grazing the sides of your rib cage, waist, and down to your hips. His gaze rises back to your neckline, and using his thumbs, he softly hooks the shoulder straps of your dress and pulls them down your upper arms. He lets out a sigh at the sight of your bare chest as if he had held his breath in anticipation.

“Good lord”, he mutters.

His right-hand goes up to cup the side of your face again, roughly pulling you back into the kiss and entangling his fingers in your hair. His left-hand rests on your waist, with his grip tightening and loosening in the strands with each kiss. Your own hands wander up to the back of his neck, untying his apron and letting your fingers slip under his shirt by the nape of his neck, touching the bare skin underneath. 

You feel him shiver slightly as you run your hands over his neck and through his hair. The hand he has on the side of your face lets go and cups your ass instead, and although the skirt of your dress has partially slid in between, the small touch of his fingers against your ass still sends shockwaves through your body.

With his new grip on your body, he lifts you as he stands up in order to prop you up on the table you had been seated at. He has to bend down to continue the kiss, but seemingly refuses to break it for even a moment. Both his hands snake under your dress and grab the sides of your underwear to slide them down your legs with surprising finesse. Only after this does he break the kiss to look you in the eyes. 

Your lips are already kissed raw and you are both already a bit out of breath. He gently helps to pull your arms fully out of your shoulder straps, once again stopping to admire your breasts for a moment. With a quick glance at the front door to confirm what he already knew was true — it was locked and drawn shut, and no one was getting in — he crouches down to kiss your chest. 

He slowly trails down your upper body, leaving wet marks along the way. When he kneels all the way down, he stops to look up at your eyes. You knew your face was probably flushed and flustered looking, but it seemed that Renjun was after just that anyway — the man was visibly taken aback with every move you made.

He reaches behind you to scoot you right to the edge of the table. He maintains eye contact while he kisses your thigh; and only when his mouth reaches your pussy and he sees your head fall back in reaction does he break eye contact. 

He kisses tenderly, using his tongue in short strokes to stimulate your clit. His fingers begin to caress gentle circles on your thighs, and with each whimper you let out, you could feel him smile against your warm skin. 

Your fingers grip the side of the small round table. The coolness of the tabletop is in stark contrast to the warmth of Renjun’s mouth, which starts working harder and harder to keep up with your growing need for stimulation. 

Your mind feels split, half of it desperately wanting to process the unfathomable situation you were in, and half of it demanding that you don’t think at all and just let your body enjoy the hot guy on his knees in front of you who seemed so determined to make your soul leave your body altogether. 

The soft touch of Renjun’s tongue feels tortuous at this point. It had definitely been appreciated, but your body begged for more — it needed more. Harder. Rougher.

Your hand loosens from the side of the table and ends up raking through his hair. You have to stop yourself from accidentally yanking on it from pleasure. Your shaky body can no longer support itself, leaning back on one hand, and with a whimper, you fall back on your elbow. The motion knocks a teaspoon off the table onto the floor, and Renjun looks up with a surprised and amused face. 

He clearly expected a way more timid response to his bold advances from you, so he can’t help but let out a laugh. As he stands up, he leans over you and kisses his way back up your body, starting with your stomach, chest, and collarbones. His hands sneak under the arch of your back to lift you up to a sitting position. 

He smiles coyly, then lowers his head to your tits. His mouth latches onto your nipple and he sighs loudly. With his mouth still attached, his quick hands grab your ass and scoop you from the table. He turns on his feet, plopping you down on the main register counter next to the table you had just been dripping all over.

“More stable”, he mumbles between nibbles to your nipple.

In this new position, you can clearly feel his hard cock pressing against your inner thigh. You reach down to his waistline and grab his belt buckle, snaking the smooth leather out of the clasp. His hands quickly join to help you unfasten it. 

He pulls away from your chest and swiftly removes his shirt, tossing it on the ground and ruffling his hair. Your fingers hook the belt loops on his pants to pull him back closer to you. He gladly locks back with your lips into another rough kiss, while you fumble with his zipper.

Renjun shudders when your hand grazes his crotch. His usually calm and smug attitude had transitioned to an almost desperate, rough, stir-crazy demeanour at your touch. He grips your back hard to press you against him, throwing the skirt of your dress aside to reach his fingers down between your legs, rhythmically rubbing circles. His other hand travels all over you, seemingly not being able to settle on any single area to caress you. 

You were driving him literally wild; and it wasn’t until you pull on the waistband of his underwear that he pauses the kiss, appearing to sober up for a second. He looks you in the eyes with a serious expression, and you instinctively nod in response. 

You both help, pulling his underwear down, just far enough to expose him. Fully removing his pants was not even an option at this point, you didn’t have time for such nonsense. 

Renjun grips your thighs and pulls you even closer to the edge of the counter, violently resuming the kiss. You could feel his dick finally touch against your warm core and you sharply exhale at the sensation. He inserts himself slowly with surprising caution given the frenzy that so recently engulfed him.

The self control of this man must be astronomical.

When he reaches all the way in, he stays as still as possible until both of your tensed up muscles have time to relax. He inhales deeply through his teeth, and you let out a mixture of a moan and a sigh. 

Neither of you had time to waste though, so his smooth hip movements quickly pick up their pace. The feeling of him moving so slowly but sensually is so delicious, you almost start to feel delirious with each thrust. 

You wrap one arm around Renjun’s back, allowing him to hit even deeper inside of you. You try to steady yourself as best as you could on the countertop, but the moans and whimpers threatening to leave your lips win.

With heads perched on each other’s shoulders, the warm panting from both of your mouths line up nicely with the other’s ears. Renjun didn’t seem to be afraid to be as loud as you; and each moan from him strikes down on your brain like lightning. 

With two simple words, he finally delivers the final blow that has you clawing at his back and throwing your head back in ecstasy. 

“Holy shit”, he mutters against your ear.

You hug hard around him, your thighs tightening around his waist, as your inner walls contract around his cock. He knows better than to stop here though, and keeps pumping at the same pace for a few more seconds until you finish riding out your high and he has reached his own. 

You lean back on your hands as he helps steady you with one of his own hands on your back. You make eye contact again, both of you now looking with flushed faces and heaving chests.

Looking down on the counter, you notice his hand accidentally gripping and crumbling up the piece of notepad paper he had scrawled on earlier. He laughs, and softly kisses your chest and up your neck. He presses one more deep kiss on your lips, and then he finishes it off with a soft peck to your forehead.

“That Jeno guy is really missing out”, he chuckles, and you had to laugh along with him.

He gently pulls out of you and holds you close, slowly helping you pull the straps of your dress back on. He tucks himself away with a pull of his pants and buttons up, looking down at your wet thighs with a furrowed brow.

“Hold on”, he says deep in thought, walking behind the counter into the back room. A couple of locker door slams and then he’s back, pulling his shirt on and tossing you an item. You catch the piece of cloth between both hands. A pair of boxer briefs with the coffee shop’s logo printed on the elastic rim. 

You look at him with a questioning eyebrow and stifle a laugh.

“I know, I know, not exactly ideal, but I’m not letting you walk home in soaked panties. They’re brand new, I swear,” he smiles.

Yeah. Definitely not ideal, but the thoughtfulness warms you. You pull them on and hop off the counter. He walks up to you and grips your hips.

“Hey, uh… I’m working the late shift tomorrow too…” he hints. 

You couldn’t help but break into a grin.

“Really? I think I’m gonna need a lot of caffeine”, you reply, grabbing your bag and stuffing your drenched underwear inside.

“Well, you’re in luck, I know a guy!” He smirks and gestures theatrically at himself. He walks you over to the exit, and unlocks the front door for you, but still lingers in the doorway.

“… see you tomorrow?” he says, and you nod in response. 

Satisfied with that answer, he slowly closes the door and relocks it. You begin your walk home in a more upbeat and confident stride than you had when walking to the café earlier that afternoon. 

Rummaging around in your bag for your phone, you pull it out to two notifications. 

“Hey, so so sorry, I’m still at work!”

“How long is the coffee shop open?

You pause your step, hovering over Jeno’s profile picture with your thumb. You take a deep breath and click the button.

Blocked. 

when mark was six, he told you he loved you.

you never really grasped what ‘love’ meant during those early, innocent times. your parents say they love you whenever you bid goodbyes going to school. your grandma used to tell you she loves you because you’ve been a good kid. so you told him “i love you, too!” with a grin plastered on your face, and mark felt his face go warm, a slightly pink flush on both of his cheeks.

when mark was eight, he said he wanted to be a writer.

he fully pledged it in his middle school yearbook a year before. an author, he wrote. you challenged him a bit. “write something for me then!”. young mark, full of determination, handed you a piece of paper at the end of the class. Roses are reds, Violets are Blue, …… I guess …… I love you ! - it was unfinished. cue the excessive punctuation marks and misplaced capitalization of letters, too. it was valentine’s day. and when the whole class knew mark loved you, he never got away with the teasing. you still had no idea what it meant, though.

when mark was twelve, “i’m gonna be famous!”, he shouted to the whole world.

you saw him pick up the guitar that he borrowed from his dad. he flicked a few strings. “congratulations, mark!”, you said. “thanks.”, replied. “what’s wrong?”, you saw how his smile slowly turned into a bit of a frown. “i’m going away,” he said. you patted him on the shoulder, “my mom said we’re all meant to, mark.”. oh, you thought, how early was it for you both to know the concept of separation. how unfortunate it is, sometimes, to be needing to grow up early.

when mark was sixteen, he took a good glance of a glimpse of his future.

flashing lights, cheering crowds, fans following him around—the fame he has worked for four years—the dog days, the sacrifices, the longing for familiarity in a city of uncertainties and foreign—are finally going to pay off. his cheeks hurt from smiling. he was more focused than ever, like a hungry animal preying for success. “i always knew you were made for somewhere else”, you thought while seeing the news around home that mark is on his way to making his name.

but as years passed by like a blink of an eye, mark finally had the chance to rest, to go somewhere. but he didn’t know where else to go. from living in toronto, to vancouver, to some few years somewhere in queens, and now, in unfamiliar cities he wake up to, he never had the chance to sit still and think of this: he never knew what home felt like.

when mark was nineteen, he made his way to his old house.

relatives greeted him. old smiles and familiar warmth overwhelmed mark. oh, how lovely it is to grasp a sense of familiarity. trains and 156 buses, his smile beamed when he reminisced middle school. “remember when…”, it was all his tongue could say. laughter filled the dining area where he and his siblings often had their silly whip cream-face-smearing fight, but his joy slightly faltered when he passed by an abandoned house, just five blocks away from his house. an abandoned, almost small-framed bicycle sits on the front porch. it was the bicycle you would ride whenever mark knocks at your very doorstep to go to the nearest town and buy potato chips.

he remembers when he was thirteen and packing for his flight the next day, he asked you: “do you think we’d forget each other?”

“i think you would.”, you replied.

“i would never.” mark reassured you, but you’ve heard stories of your mom and how her college best friend suddenly fell apart. nothing in particular, it’s just life and how we go separate ways—it’s inevitable. people say i love yous to their loved ones, reassuring them the warmth and proximity will stay, but as the sun rises, for mark, there will be great emptiness as he is forced to remove himself and start anew.

“why do you think so?”

“because i love you.”

and for you, love has changed its definition instantly. it was a time when a great consciousness arise. you understood how he truly meant all these years. you said it back as you also meant every single syllable. love, for mark, was meant to be fireworks and giggles. but by the time he boarded the plane, you kissed his cheek, his first love started and ended on the very same day.

now, mark, twenty-three, almost has it all.

he has been writing for years. he isn’t still an author, as he has told you, but sure what he writes comes along with the melodies he produces with his co-artists. he has been contented with his lifestyle, going to different countries, and working with unpredictable schedules. sure, he has established a name in the industry, working like a mad dog, but something still bothers him inside, something missing, lacking.

tonight, he writes in a local coffee shop as he waits for his manager to arrive, a practice that keeps his feet on the ground. scribbles, blurbs, drafts of lyrics, all embedded in his journal—and after a while of connecting the dots to construct who he really is and where he would position himself in the vast ocean of possibilities, he may have finally struck something that hits closer to his definition of home.

i just wanted you to know, mark writes to you, who have always been his muse through and through, to tell you that i have been happy during our years together, that i have never been so happy despite what i have gone through and achieved, and that i already know i will never be so happy again.

and as mark closes his messy, worn-out black journal, the bells rang as someone entered the door.

mark watches you walk in and towards the counter. he would have so many questions as to why you are here and when you have arrived. but reserve it for later because as you find a table you could sit in, you locked your eyes with his—so familiar, so distinct, so… inviting. almost home.

lost for words, mark stared at you. blinking like a fool. he must be dreaming.

but the doubts of the fantasy dissipated.

“hey, stranger.”, you said. “do you think we still know each other?”

a smile so warm, so loving, proximity that is so close—these are things he has lost over the years, now sitting in front of him, embodied by the epitome of his long lost love.

and mark always firmly believed in this, and today, he was never betrayed by his beloved: fate.

home, all along—he thought, is wherever i’m with you.

Sorry if you have alot of other reqs but when you have time, may you write about haechan lifting his hand to fix his hair or something during an argument but you think he's going to hit you so you flinch but when he tries to comfort you, you walk away

"oh my god , get over it already , she didn't mean any harm." your boyfriend yelled , you guys had been arguing ever since you returned home from your night out with friends.

"haechan , are you serious , she was all over you , everyone at the table was uncomfortable." you argued back , haechans old childhood friend had returned and she joined you guys — of course you didn't mind it , you loved meeting his friends, but she made it real obvious that she didn't like you , nor did she respect your relationship.

ignoring you when you spoke , or talking over you , not to mention she wasn't even subtly with her flirting with haechan. "she is always like that , she's always been touchy." he said , not really seeing the point of your childish outburst. "haechan , you barely said anything to me tonight , and now your disregarding my feelings." he scoffed.

"is this because i didn't give you all my attention , goddamn it y/n you're acting like a child !" your eyes widened , he never raised his voice at you , knowing how in previous relationships your partners would often yell at you , he never wanted to feel like you did before.

"it's not about th— give it a fucking rest y/n !" you didn't even mean to , but when you saw his hand go up , it was just like muscles memory to step back , flinching.

"did you think i was going to hit you?" he said , letting his arms fall to his sides. "did you seriously think i was gonna hit you?" he moved closer you. "i would never hit you baby , i'm not him , i swear." he felt really bad , the way your eyes glassed over with tears.

"baby , please , please don't cry im sorry." he went to hug you , but you held your hand up , stopping him. "don't touch me." your voice was shaky , scared. "please just don't touch me." he didn't move , not wanting to make things worse.

"i'll go stay with a friend tonight , i don't want to be here right now." you got off the bed , grabbing your bag. "please don't go." you guys rarely fought like this , and even if you did , you never left , you always worked it out.

he could only watch you pack up your things , not saying anything, not even sparing him a glance before you walked out.

he seriously fucked up...

wait for me | lee jeno

title: wait for me

pairing: lee jeno x fem!reader

genre: smut

warnings: smut, unprotected sex, oral (m and f receiving), facef*cking, praise kink, minor degradation (more like teasing), (consensual) filming for one scene, pet names (princess, baby/babe, honey, good girl, silly girl, etc), mentions of p*rn, loss of virginity (it’s a social construct but you get the point), soft dom!jeno, innocent!reader, romantic but rough at times, a bit of aftercare

summary: jeno keeps his promise of turning you into a mess under him

wc: 6.195k

a/n: I take my time with things, but if I promise something, I will do it, so here’s a gift for my precious @everloving-avenue ♡ it took almost a year but the sequel to this drabble is here! you don’t have to read the first part to understand. the style is a bit different from the drabble because I do write in a different way, so I don’t know how it will flow if you read one right after the other, but I hope you’ll enjoy it anyway. I missed writing just good old smut with no plot. Same thing as the original drabble; I don’t think I’m the best when it comes to writing first times, so I hope this doesn’t suck completely. ps: missed writing about Jeno ♡

general taglist: @froggyforyoongi, @wingsss45, @tddyhyck | send an ask if you want to be added (i hope i didn't forget anyone cause i didn't use a tag, but from now on i will so i'll have everyone in the same place)

“Can you take it all, pretty girl?” Jeno never looked more intimidating than he does now, looking down at you while you’re on your knees, trying to keep your gaze locked in his and don’t divert it, too embarrassed and distracted by his big, hard dick standing so close to your face. 

You gulp, humming lowly and moving closer to the head of his cock, your lips brushing against it, making him laugh tenderly. 

“We can wait if you’re not ready,” he says, the husky tone of his voice sends shivers down your back, and even if he has been nothing but nice and respectful to you, your brain can only focus on the sexiness of it. 

“No, I...” you hesitate, lowering your head as you suddenly feel shy, “… I don’t know what to do.” Since you called him that night, you had been more daring, but Jeno always focused on you, and the bravest thing you’ve done to him was a handjob. This feels like such a big step, and you’re terrified you’ll let him down, no matter how much he has been reassuring you. 

A smile curls his lips, but it’s more of a grin as he bends over and lifts your chin up. “I’m here to teach you, am I right?” 

You feel your throat close for a moment as you bravely meet his eyes, you can see he’s holding back, and that makes a fire ignite in you. You’d even let him be rough with you — at least that’s what you saw while lurking on… those sites — but you don’t feel like pushing your luck. So you nod, swinging your ass on your heels as your knees rub against the carpet to move closer to him again. 

“Good girl,” he coos, kissing you quickly before standing up like before. “Open up,” Jeno orders, this time holding the base of his dick as he prods the tip against your lips. 

You do as he says, tongue coming out of your mouth as you try to remember what you saw in a few videos. 

Jeno smiles, teasing his length on it, watching as you try so hard to don’t look away. He thinks you’re really cute, really fucking cute, to be honest. There’s a bit of fear and a lot of eagerness in your eyes, and after months, he can’t hold back anymore. His free hand reaches for your cheek as he slowly starts pushing in, whispering to you to be careful to don’t bite and keep your mouth wide open, until he’s halfway in. 

You flinch, eyes squeezing as you feel the flow of air already dim in your lungs, hands immediately finding his thighs to hold onto something. 

Jeno snickers, pulling out and shaking his head. “Silly girl, you have to breathe, that’s like the most important part.” 

You feel like he’s testing the ground, being bolder in the way he talks to you during these moments, and you have no idea why, but you find it hotter than you imagined you ever would. Your thighs clench as you feel your pussy throb just at the way he had called you a silly girl. 

“Through your nose, darling. You got it?” Something about the way he’s so condescending makes you dizzy and answer him right away, eyes fluttering as you nod and part your lips again, this time not set for failure. 

He pushes into your mouth again, it’s slow and he grunts as he slides in, feeling your warm, wet mouth wrap around him. 

You gag on it when the tip reaches the back of your throat, but Jeno’s ready to calm you down. 

“Breathe deeply, babe,” he says, voice dropped by an octave as his thumb caresses the portion of your skin between your jaw and neck. “You’re being such a good girl for me.” 

Your toes curl at his words, and you feel a heavy weight being lifted from your back. Jeno feels it in the way your throat relaxes and how your cheeks suck him in. 

If only he didn’t wait so long, he would stay still for a bit more, but now that he has you like this, he can’t control himself. “Can you suck?” He asks, voice shaking. 

“I guess,” you mumble before pulling away to take a deep breath. “You want me to move on it?” 

“Yeah,” he hums. “I fear I won’t be so gentle if I do all the job.” 

You quirk a brow, tilting your head as you stare at him. “What do you mean?” 

He shakes his head. “Nothing. Just remember what I said, breathe through your nose, and you’ll be fine.” 

You’re not happy with the way he dismissed your question, but you ignore it anyway, taking his cock in your mouth another time. You close your eyes to concentrate more and you start to suck, bobbing your head slowly at first, until you find a rhythm he seems to like, and it’s not too much for you. 

It feels weird, yet, every time you feel like you’re doing something wrong — like when the lewd sounds of your mouth get louder when it hits too deep, or when your nails sink in his thighs hard, or when spit drools from your chin — Jeno only moans louder and the hold of his hand in your hair tightens. 

“Good girl,” he praises, and when you open your eyes, you see his head reclined, lips parted and eyelids sitting on his beautiful cheeks. “Taking my dick so well.” 

Your body burns up at his word, a mix of feelings you can’t explain getting to your brain, but you keep trying to do your best to work on him. Until something pops in your mind. You pull away, mostly to take your breath, but your hand immediately reaches his base to pump up and down. 

Jeno doesn’t say anything, he even manages to muffle the groan of disappointment he let out when your lips left him. He knows you need breaks, but he still doesn’t quite expect what you do next. The combo mouth-hand was not on his bingo today and he can’t believe you’re doing it. It takes you a while to find a rhythm — he finds it adorable how uncoordinated you are — but when you do… fuck, when you do. 

You’re moving slower than Jeno would go crazy for, but he likes it anyway. You’re trying your best, brows knitted in concentration, mouth and hand working together, and soft moans vibrating around him. Just the view is enough to push him closer to the edge, especially when you seem to relax completely. 

“Stay focused,” he calls you out, fearing you might stop doing the most important thing again; breathe. “Don’t get too lost, princess.” 

You hum, voice muffling around his length hitting deep in your throat while you open your eyes to look at him. His jaw is tense, and he’s breathing deeply through his nose, the veins of his arms are so visible, propping on his skin as his hand is closed in a fist. He’s trying not to look down at you, you won’t know it, but you look too hot right now, and if only his eyes move down, he would start fucking your face. 

But you can’t take it. It’s your first time, and he has to be gentle. He can’t act like an animal without self-control, because he is not, right? 

Yet the more you softly moan, and gag and suck him, hollowing your cheeks while your hand shily works on the base and his balls, the harder it gets. 

When he practically growls, you pull back, terrified you did something wrong, unaware eyes looking into his. 

“Did I hurt you? I’m sorry, I — I was careful with my teeth, I’m sure I wasn’t —” 

He clicks his tongue, shaking his head as he shuts you up with his thumb on your lips, now plumper and red with spit dripping from a corner down to your chin. “You did nothing wrong,” his breath is ragged and his pupils are dilated, his chest is heaving quickly while his hair is starting to wet around the crown of his forehead. “You’re being good, baby, too good.” 

You blink, confusingly staring at him. “Too good? How can I be too good?” 

Jeno sighs, caressing your cheeks, wetting them with the spit that stuck to his thumb. “You really have no idea how fucking hot you look right now, don’t you?” 

You purse your lips, shaking your head as you keep looking up. Feeling oh so small. 

A smirk paints his face. “Should I show you?” He asks, but you don’t get it until he grabs the phone from the nightstand and shakes it in his hand. 

“Oh, that,” you gasp, feeling your throat go dry. 

“Only if you want, of course,” he reassures, sensing your hesitation. 

“I — it’s fine. If it stays on your phone, it’s fine,” you say, feeling yourself get wetter at the thought of him taking a picture of you at such a moment. It’s also curiosity. Are you really that good? Do you look as pretty as the girls in those videos? You doubt that, even if they look like a mess they’re always so pretty, but you? Maybe Jeno is just being nice because it’s you. 

“Of course, princess. Trust me, I wouldn’t let anybody else see you like this.” And also, for all the times he is going to have you in that position, he would even delete it once you are done, if you prefer it. 

You nod, shifting in your place because you don’t know what to do, should you pose? Should you take it in your mouth again? But Jeno answers your questions when he grips your chin and forces your head up, you’re not as messed up as he wishes you were, but this will do. “Smile for me,” he says and you do, feeling awkward. You’d like to disappear if only you couldn’t see his cock throb in your peripherical view, he wants you so much. 

So, as soon as the phone moves away with praises coming out of his mouth, you lean in, taking it inside again. 

“Fuck,” Jeno curses, clutching the phone in his hand, struggling to show you the picture of you. “Let me fuck your face,” he pleads, words followed by ragged moans, “you can tap my thigh if it gets too much but — fuck — let me try.” 

You pull away, trying to follow him, but even if you are doing something to him, your brain is already lost in the pleasure, and the fact you have pretty much no idea what he’s talking about doesn’t help. “Like in the videos?” 

“I won’t be that harsh, I promise,” and even if pleasure is running in his body, you can hear the honesty in his voice. 

“O — okay, but…” you drift your gaze away, “can you film us? So I can see after?” 

A deep groan reverberates in his chest, followed by a low suck of air. He can’t believe this is real, that you are real. So innocent and pure, asking for such things. But he’s more than happy you are the one proposing stuff to him. “Yeah, fuck, yes.” 

You shouldn’t feel like this just hearing his voice and moan, but you do, and the way your panties are sticking to your pussy is getting unbearable, you can’t wait to have him down there, so you part your lips, and wait for him to take the invitation. 

Jeno doesn’t waste a second more, shoving himself down your throat, stopping to give you time to adjust to the rough intrusion of his girth before he starts moving his hips against your face. 

At first, it feels weird, you have no control, and the pace is faster than yours, but you try to remember what he said before; you focus on your breathing and the sweet sounds coming from his mouth. Mostly because the ones coming from yours are too dirty for you to bear with. 

“Fuck, babe, just like this,” he praises, one hand holding up the phone and the other caressing your cheek, trying to give you something soothing while he moves with force, it’s not too strong, surely not like one video you accidentally watched — and closed right away because it was way too much. This feels like a great compromise between your slower pace from before and the facefucking.

“My pretty baby, taking me so well,” Jeno moans, smiling at you when he sees a glint of a smile in your eyes. “You still don’t believe me, do you?” 

You try to answer him non-verbally, but the way he’s thrusting into you doesn’t give your head any room for movement. He tsks, shaking his head disappointedly. “Don’t believe me when I call you beautiful when we go out on dates, don’t believe me when I whisper it to you in the morning, and not even now? Do I really have to show you?” 

You feel like choking, but not on his dick. It’s because of his voice, his words, and the tone he’s using. Your breath falters more when he turns the phone to you, the video playing what you were doing just a few moments ago. You should think it’s weird, humiliating even, but you don’t. It’s turning you on even more, and you do look pretty like he says. 

“See how beautiful you are even like this?” His voice is heavy, reaching deep into your core, making your pussy clench around nothing and drool out more excitement. “Your glossy eyes, your pretty lips stretched open just for me. Do you believe me now, princess?” 

You nod, nails digging into his thigh because the video and him are deconcentrating you and you fail to do the most important thing; breathe. You gasp when he pulls out, a thread of spit connects your lips with the tip of his cock as you sputter, trying to catch your breath. 

“Are you okay?” He asks worriedly, throwing the phone on the bed and staring at you with a concerned look on your face. “You know you should stop before reaching your limit?” 

“I know,” you cry out, cleaning your chin before lifting your gaze at him. “I was doing fine, but I… I forgot how to breathe.” 

Jeno snickers, caressing your lips with his thumb, smearing the mess on your chin another time. “You forgot how to breathe, baby? Didn’t fuck you yet, and you’re already my dumb baby?” He’s clearly testing the waters another time, you discussed these things a lot, but Jeno knows that videos and stories on the internet are a completely different thing from reality and he’s not so confident everything you think turns you on will actually turn you on. But apparently dirty talking, a mix between a lot of praises and just a hint of degradation, turns you on for real. He watches your thighs clench and your boobs rise while a choked moan leaves your lips. 

He smiles, or better, grins, tapping your face with his cock. “Will you let me fuck your mouth until I come, silly girl? Should we see just how dumb you get on me?” 

You nod eagerly, moving even closer with your knees, sure by now you were going to have marks of that night tomorrow. But not even the discomfort can stop you from letting him have his way with you. 

You moan louder when he pushes inside you this time, hands reaching his thighs for support while he starts moving quickly in and out, groans falling copiously from his tongue, balls slapping against your chin, and strong grip on the side of your face. 

You can’t take it anymore and you start rubbing your thighs together, trying to get a tiny bit of relief as his moans progressively get lower, aggressive and messier. He always tries to hold back but you’re loving this side of him. 

“Where — fuck — where do you want me to come?” He asks, slowing down a bit, only now realizing you’re wearing your favourite tank top and he doesn’t want to ruin your clothes, but were you ready for the whole thing? “Shirt?” When you shake your head he tries to think of something else, but the only option is not much better. “Floor?” But you shake your head again, and there’s only one thing left, “mouth?” You nod, eyes beaming, and he loses it. “Fuck,” he groans, hips stilling against your face as the orgasm hits him, making him empty inside of you. He drags out to don’t make you choke on his cum and then pulls away, still shuddering and moaning, expecting you to spit, having decided to play with fire and surely regretting it, but you don’t. Your face is contorted in an expression he can’t read, but you swallow everything, and then look up at him with innocent eyes. 

“Was I good?” 

“Fuck, honey, yes,” he says, lifting you up by wrapping an arm around your waist, making you lay on the bed. “So good,” he praises. 

You smile but feel shy once again when he doesn’t start anything more. You’re aching, and you want him. Everything. His mouth and fingers are not enough anymore, you need him now. 

“Jeno,” you moan. “Please.” 

“Yeah?” he asks nonchalantly. 

You huff, rolling your eyes. “Don’t make me say it.”

“Oh, no, princess, I want to hear you. Use your big girl words,” he orders.

“I want you to fuck me,” you breathe out, barely holding eye contact with him. 

He smiles victoriously, feeling his dick harden again just from hearing your voice say those filthy words. “Are you sure?” He checks in, quirking a brow.  

You hum. “I’m dripping,” you whisper, feeling too conscious about the mess between your legs. “I’m ready.” 

Jeno tried to postpone this as much as he could, not because he didn’t want you, but because he wanted to wait for you and respect your time. He knows you tend to jump into things head first, but after a brief look at you, he knows this time isn’t the case. Since the daring call, you two experimented a lot, so this was the right moment to give you everything. 

“Stop me if anything makes you uncomfortable, alright?” 

You nod, silently watching as he adjusts between your legs, pulling down your stained panties before throwing them to the side. You don’t expect his lips to leave kisses on your thighs, quite frankly you feel more eager than usual to get what you wanted right away, but it’s clear he has other plans. 

You still shy away every time he’s between your legs, feeling too conscious about how intimate you two are being. And it makes you even more dizzy when Jeno breathes in deeply before sucking on your clit. 

“Jeno,” you cry out, covering your face with your hands. 

“What, baby? How many times do I have to tell you not to cover yourself?” He scolds, eyes staring at you from between your legs. “Move your hands away or I’ll leave.” 

You barely give him time to finish that your hands are sitting at the sides of your body, and your hips are bucking up, inviting him to take care of you. 

“Eager baby,” he whispers before spreading your thighs wider, sinking down to lick your wetness. “Taste so good, princess.” 

“It’s weird,” you mumble, you truly can’t get what he finds so hot about it, and how good you taste. 

Jeno clicks his tongue, groaning in disappointment. “You don’t have to taste it,” he says, giving another harsh suck to your clit that makes your thighs shudder, “it’s all for me, and I love it.” 

Your head rolls back when he starts moving his tongue on you as soon as he’s done with his words. He’s neat, like his usual, sucking and licking until he has you shaking underneath him. But usually — the four times you’ve done this before — you just lay there. This time your fingers find their way in his hair, tangling in it as you push him closer. 

“Fuck, babe,” he moans, voice muffled against your body. “I’m not going anywhere,” he giggles and the vibrations push your brain in a spiral while your head rolls back. 

You bite down a high-pitched moan when he pushes two fingers inside you after collecting your arousal and his spit. If you want to take him — and you do — he has to get you ready for the big thing —literally. So he sucks on your clit and pumps in and out of you faster, scissoring his two digits every now and then to stretch you out more. 

“So welcoming, angel,” he hums, pulling away from your clit with a loud pop, “do you want me that much?” You must be particularly turned on because his fingers slide into you with ease, more than the other times when it took him a while to get you accommodated to the intrusion. 

“Yeah, I…” your words die in your mouth as you stare at the ceiling, feeling so, so close to the high. It’s a feeling you know quite well now, but it still catches you by surprise every time. And you fear you will never get used to any of this, not anytime soon, at least. 

“You?” He coos. “You want my cock in you? Want to finally know what it feels like to be fucked nice and deep?” 

You want the mattress to eat you as he speaks those words, but your body reacts in a completely different way, burning up as your orgasm washes over you, leaving you breathless against the bed. 

Jeno pulls his fingers out of you, sucking them clean when he’s sure your watching. “Tastes so good, no matter what you say, baby.” 

You let out a shaky breath, feeling your body buzz in ecstasy. 

“Come here,” he says, leaning in, lips to lips, “taste yourself on me.” You kiss him with no hesitation, not because you’re eager to taste your cum, but because you want to feel him as close as you can. 

“Jeno, please,” you beg, cupping his face before pulling him into another kiss. “I need you.” 

“I know you do,” he says, softly caressing your side. “Can you take it, though?” 

You nod swiftly, hips desperately grinding against him, feeling his cock against your skin. “I’ll be good, I promise.” 

Jeno smiles softly, finding it so cute how you still worry about him when you should focus on yourself. He kisses you while his right hand is busy rummaging in the stand next to the bed to find lube. 

“But I’m wet,” you complain when you realize what he’s doing, feeling a bit guilty because maybe it’s still not enough. 

“Yes, you are,” he agrees, kissing your body as he slowly stands on his knees and positions you better on the bed. “But I’m big, and I don’t want to hurt you.” 

You purse your lips in a thin line, trying to don’t overthink this, but Jeno gets something is wrong. 

“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with a bit of help. Also, lube can make things funnier, so why are you sulking?” 

“I’m not, I just — I want to be good like the girls you had be—” 

“No comparing, you are you, and I love you,” he stops you before you can finish, opening the bottle of lubricant but still waiting for your full consent. “Just trust me on this, alright?” 

“Yeah, I trust you,” you breathe out, voice shaking, and as you stare as he pours the cold liquid on his hard dick you realize this might be the smartest choice. Also, you have to remind yourself that porn is fake, and probably not even as funny as they make it out to be, so why would you want to ruin the fun with your boyfriend just to copy it?

“For anything, even if it’s just discomfort, stop me, alright?” 

You nod, feeling your nerves out of your skin, but Jeno wants you down on earth with him, and he needs to hear your voice. “Honey? What do you do if something’s wrong?” 

It takes you a while to realize he’s talking to you and even a bit more to answer. “I tell you,” you stutter, searching for his eyes because this is getting real and all your confidence is falling apart. 

“Good girl,” he praises, kissing you on the lips. 

When the tip of his cock presses against your entrance you know for sure using lube was the best idea he ever had in his entire life. Your jaw slacks, hands immediately reaching his back to sink in the skin of his shoulders as your chest rises heavily. 

“Honey, you’re too tense,” he says, pulling away. 

“No, I’m not,” you cry out, trying to push him in by locking your legs around his waist but he’s stronger than you and doesn’t let you do the dumbest thing you could ever do. 

“We don’t have to do it, you know right?” 

“But I want to,” you whine. “It’s just… big.” 

“Then we can wait.” 

“No, just… ease the tip in and then sink slowly,” you breathe out. 

“But you need to relax,” he says. “Let me do something.” It’s not what you expect him to do, but when his lips start leaving soft pecks on your skin, you can only relax under his attention. “That’s it, princess, loosen up,” he whispers against your neck, trailing down to kiss your chest, noting you’re still dressed in your camisole and he has to move it to have access to your skin. “Can I lift this off? Want to feel you close to me.” 

You hum, nodding your head in small movements as you try to relax your muscles. He quickly takes it off of you before going back to your skin, kissing and sucking, until goosebumps pervade you, distracting you while the fat head of his cock presses against your slit and you barely even notice.  

Jeno hums when he quickly glances up and you’re too lost in pleasure to tighten up around him, but he doesn’t push further in. “Good girl. Here,” he says, searching for your hand on the mattress, “hold my hand.” 

You do as he says, parting your legs when you realize he’s back where he was before, barely inside. “More, please,” you implore, meeting his eyes that turn into half-moons for a brief moment as he smiles back at you. 

He doesn’t ask more questions, afraid of tensing you up again, and pushes past your entrance. 

“Mhh,” you bite back, forcefully trapping your lower lips between your teeth to don’t let out weird sounds. 

Jeno stares at you, trying to study your body as he keeps moving, soothing circles on your waist. He’s barely halfway in and he’s not sure about what to do. 

“It’s… it’s weird,” you mumble, feeling shy when you two make eye contact. 

“Bad weird or good weird?” 

You shrug. “I don’t know, it’s not bad, it doesn’t hurt,” you reassure him. “You can push in, I’m relaxed.” 

You are, your shoulders are not tensed and your legs are parted on your own, your breath is also much more regular than before. So he does, he slowly buttons in, taking your breath away. 

You gasp, head rolling back as you feel full like never before. 

Jeno wants to back away when you start… laughing. “Are you okay?” 

You nod swiftly, “Yeah,” you smile. “It’s… I… I don’t know how to explain this,” you try to reason but truly there’s nothing rational about this. It’s the surprise because you can’t believe it happened and it’s the way it feels as your pussy automatically clenches around him. “I think you can fuck me,” you say, feeling the shame disappear. 

“I can take more time for you to adj—”

“I’m dripping and I’m ready for you, it doesn’t hurt,” you say, cupping his chin. “I’ve panicked about this moment enough, I know what I’m letting you doing.” You truly did, reading around way too much about what the first time felt like, knowing it wasn’t supposed to hurt or bleed like society said, and trusting him enough to do this. 

Jeno fights a chuckle to don’t ruin this completely and starts moving in and out of you. Studying your face with every move, his thrusts are slow at first, not only because he doesn’t want to push you too far, but also because he wants to see your reaction and feel you. Your eyes are closed while your lips are parted to let out the softest whimpers and moans, one hand is still holding his tight while the other is on his shoulder to hold onto him. 

“You’re so pretty,” he whispers, kissing you passionately, starting to pick up a rhythm when you don’t squirm away but your hips roll against his instead. “How does it feel?” 

“Good,” you cry out, “so good.” 

“Yeah? Told you it would feel good,” he groans, hips dragging in and out of you at a steady rhythm. He’d love to go faster, but he doesn’t want to hurt you or turn this into a bad experience. He wants to take it slow, and make you feel loved. “Better than those stupid videos you watch. You don’t need them to learn, they’re bullshit anyway, you have me.”

You groan, trying to hide away as you remember how he had caught you more than once as you tried to learn how to get better at this, no matter how many times he had told you he was there to guide you. “I will — I will disappoint you,” you cry out. 

“Yeah, are you sure?” He hums, kissing you briefly, hitting harder inside you, making you whimper a broken moan. “Then if you’re so afraid you’ll — fuck — disappoint me, it means I’ll have to fuck you more, ugh, how’s that sound?” 

You try to come up with words that make sense, but you hardly can breathe. It feels too much, lost in what’s happening now, and what is yet to happen. The idea he won’t hold back anymore, that at any chance he will try to make you feel good, and you will do too, sending your brain in a spiral. 

“Oh, imagining it already, nasty baby? One taste and you’re already addicted to this?” Jeno mocks playfully, cooing in your ear, sending waves of electricity down your spine. “Next time I won’t fuck you nice and slow on the bed, no,” he chuckles, brushing away the hair that is sticking to your sweating forehead. “I’ll get a bit rougher with you, do you want that?” 

You barely wait for him to finish the sentence and you’re already nodding, gripping harder on his shoulders, nails sinking in his skin, as you already savour the moment. “On the desk,” you utter shyly, slowly parting your eyes to meet his, dark and intense, piercing into your soul. 

He snickers, dick throbbing inside of you because he can’t wait to slowly discover all the little things you secretly fantasize about, he wants to watch your innocence fall apart right in front of his eyes, and he wants to be the one tearing it apart. He wants you to trust him enough to let him inside all your darkest and deepest secrets. 

“You want to be fucked on the desk?” He taunts, lightly slapping your ass, drawing a louder moan from you. “Yeah? Want to be bent over my desk?” 

You nod swiftly, trapping your tongue between your teeth as the intense feeling starts growing more and more in your stomach. “Wa-want you to pull my hair.” You’re not even sure you will like it, but you feel like everything is worth a shot with Jeno, you trust him, and you know he will respect you if you won’t like something. Even harsher things that scare you a bit, they don’t look so scary with him. 

“Fuck, baby,” he groans, rolling his head back, beads of sweat pearling his forehead. “You’ll kill me,” he whispers, teeth gritted as he tries to don’t sound too raw with his moans, but it’s hard when your pussy is gripping him so tight, your face is rolled back in bliss, your boobs are bouncing with his every move, and dirty words are coming out of your mouth. He’s not used to this and your curses, it’s used to your avoiding gazes and your small imprecations that are not curse words. 

You’re not used to this either. It’s like you opened the door to a new world and you don’t quite know how to move in it. There are endless possibilities, and you’d love to grasp them all now, but you can’t. You fear you can barely face what’s coming right now. 

“Weird,” you breathe out, chest heaving quicker as Jeno’s thrusts get faster and the hold of your legs around his waist tightens. “Too much.” 

“It’s not too much, princess. You can take it,” he says, kissing your cheeks. 

“No, it’s — it’s,” you choke on your words ‘cause you can’t quite explain how you’re feeling right now. 

Jeno kisses your lips again, it’s messier than before, and in the tangle of it, he asks if you want him to stop, but you don’t, and you almost scream a negative answer. “Please, no, don’t stop. I just — I feel like — I…” 

“It’s stronger than the other times?” He finishes for you, at least that’s what he can get from the way your body is squirming under him and how much cum is coating his dick. 

You nod, squeezing your eyes hard and opening your mouth to let as much air possible inside of your lungs. “It’s good, it’s so good, but I… I can’t take it.”

“You can, honey, you can,” he whispers, soothing you with circles on your hip. “Breathe deeply, like before.” 

You’d love to curse at him because how can you focus on your breathing during this specific moment? It’s impossible, and you don’t even want to. You like the way you feel upside down, it’s chaotic but good, and you don’t want it to stop. 

You pull him closer, kissing him harder, running your fingers through his hair to stop torturing his poor shoulders. “Want you, please.” 

“I’m here,” he hums. “Come with me?” 

You nod in a non-verbal reply, trying to don’t get overwhelmed by the feeling but it’s difficult, especially when his hand reaches for your clit and starts playing with it, and his moans get louder and messier. He sounds so hot, and that’s the last thing you need to let your pleasure invade you. 

“Jeno,” you scream his name, arching your back off the bed as pleasure runs through your body and soon after the same happens to him, filling you with his cum as he lazily pumps in and out to ride your orgasms. 

“Fuck,” he curses, letting his forehead fall on yours, pushing your legs closer to your chest before his movements come to a stop, and he feels like collapsing on top of you. He doesn’t, he keeps his body up with his elbows as he leaves pecks on your face. 

“Are you alright, love?” Jeno asks after a few seconds and you can only nod, still short of breath. He leaves one more kiss on your lips before pulling out of you, making you sigh at the loss of contact when he rolls to the side and jumps out of bed. “Stay right there,” he says before walking out of the room. 

“As if I can walk,” you giggle in a whisper, feeling your legs wobbly and your heart exploding out of your ribcage. You’re still lost in that daydream when Jeno comes up and starts to clean you up, doing his best to don’t overstimulate you — he’s got time for that.

You don’t say anything, only stare at him while his black hair falls on his forehead and you can’t believe you got so lucky. Once he’s done, he comes by your side, pulling close to his body and leaving kisses on your face. The one that breaks the silence again it’s him. 

“So, how was that? Good as you expected or did it let you down?” 

You giggle, moving your head so you can meet his eyes. “You really think this could’ve let me down?” 

“Well, I don’t know, I thought you were pretty vanilla and there you were, begging me to bend you over and pull your hair,” he chuckles, caressing your cheek. “Maybe your fantasies were different than this.” 

“It was amazing,” you smile, fighting the embarrassment caused by his words as you look at him. “Thank you for waiting for me.” 

Jeno smiles, eyes lighting up before his lips fall on your forehead again. “I would wait for you forever.” 

© neowinestaindress; all rights reserved. do NOT repost, modify, or translate any work from this blog on any other platform and claim it as yours. you can find my works on ao3 (neowinestaindress) and wattpad (winestaintedress_; currently inactive).

“why were you ignoring my calls?”

after two weeks of purposely dodging haechan’s presence, he had finally cornered you by ringing your doorbell on a friday night; a night when he knows you would be wide awake until god knows when.

haechan peeks at the television at your back, “and watching a film without me, too?”

good for you, though. you are good at making excuses.

realizing you were in love with your best friend haechan made it seem difficult to get by. ever since mark pointed out you would literally do anything for him in a heartbeat, you became extremely conscious. sure, there was a distinct line between liking and loving. you were aware you liked him, but loving sure is a big word.

and everyone saw it except you.

and the worst thing that could probably happen is haechan seeing it, too.

usually, haechan would walk directly toward your living room, but you’re still holding the door. haechan attempts to put one foot forward, but you are doing all your might to block his way.

“i was busy.”

“bullshit.”

“i can’t be busy now?”

“it’s 11 pm.”

“i can’t go beyond that?”

“you never work at this hour.”

“i have a lot of…”, you turned your head at the back, attempting to look at your surrounding to salvage your excuses but miserably failed. fuck, a deer caught in the headlights. "stuff.”

“holy shit.”, haechan exclaimed. “you’re really bad at this.”

“jesus, fuck! what do you want?”

“i wanna be with you.”

maybe if you were really not into your best friend who has a way with his words, you would completely laugh it off. but no, you were dumbfounded, hopeful, and taken aback.

“what?”

“said i wanna be with you.”

you just stared at haechan. could he possibly be…?

“who’s gonna take care of you, huh? who’s gonna be there when you trip on the sidewalk when you’re shitfaced? who’s gonna buy you dinner when you refuse to move until you finish your work?”

you tilted your head and leaned against the doorframe. your faces are just inches away from each other. haechan cupped your cheeks until he reached down your chin. “who’s gonna wipe your tears away when you’re sad, hmm?”

your lips ajar, trying to comprehend what he had just said. haechan lee just might have listed down the things he would willingly want to continue doing with and for you. and your heart might just have liked every bit of the sound he uttered.

“so… are you gonna let me in or what?”, haechan stared intently at your eyes. you just wanted this moment to last longer. this close, this proximity, you hope it gets a little closer. your gaze grazes on his plump lips, and it takes a lot of your courage right now to not kiss him.

“oh, yeah.”, you opened the door wider and haechan took a few steps forward, almost reaching the center of your living room.

but his steps faltered when his phone rang.

haechan stood just there and answered.

“yeah, yeah, yeah. just stay there. i’m coming.” — these were the words you heard, and in a heartbeat, he was on his way to finding the exit.

“but you just dropped by, haech…?”

“sorry. she needs me.”

“she?”

“oh, yeah. i’ll introduce you to her.”, haechan did not even spare looking at you. he was just texting on his phone, a bit in a hurry. “she’s a keeper. you’re gonna love her.”

you felt your heart sink but your feet did you no justice; you followed him like a little kid full of wonder and questions. and when your stop reaches back to your door, he slowly turned around and said:

“please don’t… don’t leave me ever again.”, haechan bit his lip. you can see how his eyes glisten, almost teary-eyed. “you’re my everything and more.”

there you saw haechan go. slipping through your fingers, just when you thought you had wrapped him around your finger just like what you are for him.

and you might just have another excuse to continue distancing yourself from the things he made you feel special and needed, and everything and more. no more trouble because the answer was plain and simple all along:

it’s because i love you, haechan lee.

I'm here for the angst but if he said all of that like that, with so much desperation, who would have the heart to leave him 😭

his choice

summary: at the end of the day, haechan chooses you despite the distance in time and proximity. but why do you feel so... guilty?

notes: idol!haechan, long distance relationship, no amount of fluff detected in this fic lol 221130 haechan i have real feelings for you

genre: angst | word count: 1.4k

- “baby?”, haechan says on the other line.

“haech… hi.”

you were laying on your bed. it has been a long, tiring week. on the other hand, haechan was sitting in front of his laptop. he was trying to fix his phone, trying to find the right angle for you to see his face clearly via facetime. once he felt everything is settled, he just stared at you. he can’t help but smile at your loving features. you are still beautiful as ever, he thought.

but you can see he was also exhausted. his eyes were kind of droopy, longing for some good night sleep. but he decided to stay up to accompany you while you twist and turn, and find the right sleeping position until you fall asleep.

“not going to bed, haech?”

“i’ll let you sleep first, baby.”

then a faint smile slowly crept on your face.

you thought it was cute. he is still the haechan you knew when he mustered up the courage to say he likes you on that one night in that one september night. you thought it was funny, even. he cannot look you in the eyes when he confessed, shy and all. it was unusual for someone who is loved by plenty to still giggle and blush like a little kid. haechan remains humble, head on the clouds but feet on the ground. and that is why despite the doubts and risks of accepting his love, you took the leap of faith, and haechan never failed to make you feel special every single day.

but with the tremendous amount of work lined up in his unpredictable schedule, you cannot help but feel… sorry.

you would be lying if you say you purposely did not answer some of his calls because he was persistent to see you when he gets the chance to do so.

january 16, 1:07am | haech wrote:

january 16, 1:07am | haech wrote:

where were you?

you weren’t picking up :(

you can almost hear haechan sulking as you read his text.

january 16, 2:15am | you wrote:

just out, haechan.

january 16, 2:16am | haech wrote:

tell me about your day? :)

there were at least six missed calls that you refused to answer before this. as you watched your phone vibrating, you just wished he would… stop. it was also two in the morning from where he is, currently touring and all, while you just came back from work and slept. timezones, the distance; you can’t help but to wonder why he still stays.

january 16, 2:20am | you wrote:

tired, baby.

january 16, 2:20am | haech wrote:

just five minutes, please?

but you just left him on read. the way he waited for you to response as he replied instantly for your texts is already bothering you. you also clearly did not know back then why you would do such a thing to haechan until weeks passed by…

it never occurred to you what exactly it was until you have seen him yawning and falling asleep as the both of you catch up on what has been going on with your lives. you clearly knew it was guilty to have him around while he was struggling to maintain his life and work. the guilt rushed in when he started texting almost apologetic messages saying “i’m sorry, i fell asleep.”, “have a great day, baby! i know you could do it!”, and the recent and out-of-the-blue text message he sent that sent you the urge to hit the block button for his own good:

january 28, 5:55am | haech wrote:

baby. i hope you never get tired of me… of this. i know it has been a rough couple of weeks of us being in different parts of the world. you don’t know how much i want to hold you, kiss you, and hug you at every chance i get. please wait for me to come home. please never be tired. i’m willing to work this out. i’ll make time for you, baby.

don't leave me, please?

and by that time, you knew haechan has been also feeling you were about to back down. it is just that the assumed reasons were different. haechan feels he was losing you because of the lack of time and distance he spends with you, and you, on the other hand, are willing to sacrifice this love that you wanted to keep for a long so he could continue living freely.

so you decided to talk to haechan tonight.

he deserved to at least receive a proper goodbye.

“what time is it there, haech?”

“it’s…” haechan looked at his watch, eyebrows scrunched and all, “two-thirty a.m.”

“aren’t you tired?”

“not when i see you, baby.”

you felt like your heart is about to burst from being squeezed so tightly. you removed your phone from your face and let the camera face in front of the ceiling. you were suppressing your whimpers. it hurts to hear those words; those words that were carefully curated for you to be heard so you would be convinced he is enduring it all when he is not. and giving up the fight is only the answer you have.

“baby…?” haechan asks for you. “still there?”

“yeah, yeah.” you wiped your tears away and faked a forced smile for him to see. you picked up your phone and made sure he could not see any hints of you hurting. “just… picked up something.”

“oh, okay.”

you can hear haechan singing baekhyun’s love again, and you just smiled through the entire mini-show, exclusively for you. he loved singing and sharing his favorite songs with you. you were never a fan of ballads until he came into your life, and suddenly everything felt at ease. but you had to ask before you.

“does it get tiring sometimes, haech?”

“what do you mean?”

“this.”

he looked straight at the camera and stopped the music playing in the background. haechan kind of stood still for seconds, bracing himself on where this conversation is going. but he responded upfront and with no hesitations.

“never.”

“why?” you asked.

“because it’s you.”

“why do you still stay?”

“because it’s you.”

“why do you keep saying it’s me?”

“because i love you.”

haechan can feel the series of questions from you being said so nonchalantly and so monotonously. he already knows your walls are building themselves up as he continuously answers. it was frustrating to see that you were no longer convinced, that the i love yous no longer work.

“stop saying that, haechan.”

“it’s haech.”

“what do i even do for you?”

“you—you make me happy, baby.”

“just go to sleep, haechan.”

“i won’t.”

“why?”

“because i know i won’t be seeing you in the morning after this.”

and you know he was right. you were already consumed by the thought of leaving and convinced he makes himself strong in front of you despite the circumstances.

but haechan is not ready to give it all up, not just yet.

“listen to me, baby. please?”

you turned off your camera, and you can see haechan slightly panicking. but he had to keep his composure still.

“every day, i choose you. my heart chooses you. i come back to you because my heart says so—that you keep me sane. you keep me feeling things; that you keep me afloat; that you keep me human.” haechan insists.

“you are that tiny light that i see whenever i come back to my apartment; and when i see it, it feels like someone’s waiting for me to come home, baby.

you are that someone, baby. you love me because i can fall crumbling and all because you are my home. and you accept my flaws.

it doesn’t matter if i’m tired and all, because you’re… you’re my rest.”

you let out sobs and your cries were no longer able to be contained. haechan waits for you on the other line to open your camera, or at least say something back. he anxiously taps his foot on the floor.

you picked up your phone and there he was, staring intently at a blank screen, biting his lower lip and teary-eyed.

“loving someone is a choice.

and every day, i choose you.”

and before you end the call, you heard him saying:

"i love you so much.

come back to me, baby, please?”

would you?