Sorry If You Have Alot Of Other Reqs But When You Have Time, May You Write About Haechan Lifting His

Sorry if you have alot of other reqs but when you have time, may you write about haechan lifting his hand to fix his hair or something during an argument but you think he's going to hit you so you flinch but when he tries to comfort you, you walk away

"oh my god , get over it already , she didn't mean any harm." your boyfriend yelled , you guys had been arguing ever since you returned home from your night out with friends.

"haechan , are you serious , she was all over you , everyone at the table was uncomfortable." you argued back , haechans old childhood friend had returned and she joined you guys — of course you didn't mind it , you loved meeting his friends, but she made it real obvious that she didn't like you , nor did she respect your relationship.

ignoring you when you spoke , or talking over you , not to mention she wasn't even subtly with her flirting with haechan. "she is always like that , she's always been touchy." he said , not really seeing the point of your childish outburst. "haechan , you barely said anything to me tonight , and now your disregarding my feelings." he scoffed.

"is this because i didn't give you all my attention , goddamn it y/n you're acting like a child !" your eyes widened , he never raised his voice at you , knowing how in previous relationships your partners would often yell at you , he never wanted to feel like you did before.

"it's not about th— give it a fucking rest y/n !" you didn't even mean to , but when you saw his hand go up , it was just like muscles memory to step back , flinching.

"did you think i was going to hit you?" he said , letting his arms fall to his sides. "did you seriously think i was gonna hit you?" he moved closer you. "i would never hit you baby , i'm not him , i swear." he felt really bad , the way your eyes glassed over with tears.

"baby , please , please don't cry im sorry." he went to hug you , but you held your hand up , stopping him. "don't touch me." your voice was shaky , scared. "please just don't touch me." he didn't move , not wanting to make things worse.

"i'll go stay with a friend tonight , i don't want to be here right now." you got off the bed , grabbing your bag. "please don't go." you guys rarely fought like this , and even if you did , you never left , you always worked it out.

he could only watch you pack up your things , not saying anything, not even sparing him a glance before you walked out.

he seriously fucked up...

These Secrets That I Have.

what if I told you that I've fallen?

PAIRING: mark lee x fem!reader

GENRE: our friendly neighborhood spiderman ; the best friends

WORD COUNT: 4.3k+ words

WARNINGS: eventual smut, choking kink, arson

SYNOPSIS: Joking that your best friend is the infamous superhero bitten by a spider has been a habit for the group. It was all a joke, until it wasn't.

A/N: THE UPSIDE DOWN KISS!! spidermark agenda, I wouldn't let you die. and forgive for the poor attempts of comedy lmao. anyways, happy reading and don't forget to share your thoughts about this fic! <3

''With great power comes..''

''Great responsibilities--''

Gasping dramatically, Johnny stands up as his finger points accusingly to the male who's unknowingly straining his vocal chords due to laughing so much.

Mark shakes his head, clapping his hands in amusement. ''Dude, everybody knows that.''

''Nobody gets it right.''

Jaehyun joins the tallest among all of you. ''Except spiderman.''

Cackles once again blooms, the way these two delivers their impromptu exposing session is so comical that you are all gasping for air.

If you didn't know better, those faces full of shock mixed with betrayal would fool you into thinking your best friend is actually the one behind the infamous red and dark blue suit with webs and spider symbols decorating it. No ones knows when it actually began, the spiderman jokes. Johnny and Jaehyun are certainly the ones to start the teasing on Mark, doting on him and urging him to 'admit it' in every chance they get. Oftentimes, the jokes are fueled by Mark's fast reflexes. Someone can react fast, alright, but something about Mark's tells that there's a deeper root or cause, Johnny's words.

Personally, you don't really think Mark would be the 'friendly neighborhood' superhero neither do you consider even the smallest chance because-- one, the male is literally with you almost 24/7 and spiderman saves people 25/8. And two, you've stayed at Mark's apartment more than you've done to your dorm, you know the in and outs, every nook and cranny of the space-- not once did you found even a mere clue that suggests what Johnny and Jaehyun had in their mind.

''You really gotta back us up here, dude. You know what you've seen.'' Once again, the faux seriousness shows in his words and his eyes widening to convince, you decides to ride his flow this time.

''Actions speaks louder than voice, Mark. If you're not spiderman, then explain the spidey senses!'' Johnny throws a cap towards Mark's direction, effectively making the man catch it within seconds, eventually proving your 'theory'.

'I told you so' looks are exchanged between the three of you. Haechan barks a laugh at that.

''This is fucking crazy.'' Clearly, he's enjoying the show judging by the tears escaping the sockets of his eyes.

The series of persistence is left to deaf ears. Mark prefers downing as much pizza as he can right now rather than dealing with endless accusations that, to say the least, is absolutely nonsensical. ''Y'all would cut this shit out or you'll have webs shoved down deep in your throat in a minute?''

By now, Mark should've known making empty threats that has connections with spiderman's universe or spiderman himself will just worsen the situation he already finds hard to be in. Albeit his ears ringing, Mark didn't make any effort to stop the banters of his friends regarding if he's the superhero bitten by a spider or he's just a natural. Concluding that the discussion is harmless, he doesn't find the need to.

Ha! It's not like he's actually the 'Friendly Neighborhood Spiderman', right?

Another groan escapes past your lips, fingers drumming the white table. 15 minutes upon arriving at 7/11, your instant ramen slash source of distraction from boredom sadly disappears in thin air. What the fuck is taking Mark Lee so long?

''--so you mean, 10 muscled people holding rifles each was nothing against 1 spider descendant or some shit?'' Your ears perks up.

''Yup, flicked those robbers away to the police like it was nothing.''

''Damn crazy, and fucking awesome.''

''That's spiderman for you,'' The boy browses through the ice cream freezer near you. ''Still can't believe he's in this area just minutes ago.''

Eh? The superhero was here? Then that would mean the said robbery took place somewhere not far from where you were eating your ramen peacefully. How come you didn't hear the sirens? You sigh, mind wondering the possible outcomes if the robbers decides to raid the stores nearby and eventually reach yours. It fuels your urge to go home even more.

Supposedly, this trip shouldn't last no more than 10 minutes considering the fact that the store is not even 3 minutes away from your dorm and choosing chips to your liking only takes less than 5 minutes of your time-- depending on how indecisive you are and how crazy your cravings are. It'll all bring you back to the comfort of your bedroom in no time, nonetheless.

But a certain someone thought it's a good idea to leave you at the store and tells you that he'll be back in a bit, making you wait like some child for their parent. Heck, no parent would even leave their child alone at a convenience store, opting to take the kid with them. He insisted on meeting here again in spite of your whines to go separate ways so you can enjoy the warmth of your bed all the while he fulfills the errand that he so eagerly wants to finish.

''This motherfucker, I swear to God.'' Informing Mark that you'll go back via message, the chair lets out a faint screech as your body heat lingers a little longer after standing up to leave. Just as you turn around, your shoulders meets a chest, sending you both to a halt as the collision sinks in. You look up to see your most awaited best friend with his unstyled chest nut hair serving as a curtain for his same shade orbs. He breathes heavily, as if catching some air to fend his lungs.

Eyes raking down his body, you drink in his appearance. He looks like he just came from.. a fight. ''The hell happened to you, dude?'' Your figure heads towards the store's exit.

''Police thought I was one of those that belonged to the robbery, took me a while to convince them I'm not, sorry.''

You snort. ''Well, I would mistake you as a robber too with this beanie and all black outfit you have.''

Mark scowls. ''They thought I'm a victim, just for your information.''

''Really? That's surprising.'' Laughing softly under your breath, you tosses a bag of chips to Mark as compensation for your teasing.

The gust of cold breeze remains disregarded, warmth coming from the other's body heat is enough to ease the coldness. Passing by where the crime occurred, your feet unknowingly fasten their pace, shuddering at the thought of danger albeit the police cars and armed officers surrounds the area in protection stance.

Overhearing a reporter going on about something along the lines of 'the cops thanking Spiderman as it weren't for him, they wouldn't be able to catch the criminals' makes you sigh.

They should really stop depending on the superhero. You thought.

''Isn't it scary?''

Mark turns to you. ''What is?''

''The way greed can drive humans to intense, irrevocable madness.  It pushes them to do these things that'll not only put their lives in danger but will also fail to satisfy their desires. Sure, they can have money in the palms of their hands with just a snap, stealing from people-- but will those bills last for a long time? Will that be enough for them? Certainly not.''

A brief glance from Mark is what you received, the bop of his head caught by your peripheral vision assures you to keep going. ''The more they steal, the more they crave. If the officials thinks that every on-going and unsolved crimes plastered on the news by the media will scare the criminals away because they are apparently doing their best to find the suspects and pull them out of wherever hole they are hiding, they're wrong. The cops wouldn't be forced to  use their best assets and experience sleepless nights if the criminals are not doing well at their job, right? Those announcements of endless searchings and calls for the people's help only pats the wanted people on their back, telling them they've done an excellent mayhem job.

Sometimes, I don't even know who to blame when crimes, like this kind, happens. Is it the criminals themselves because they lost their morals over materialistic things? Because they gave in to the urge of possessing those that goes beyond what they can comprehend? Is it the police for not hearing the reason why these criminals have done it? Is it the society who embodies judgemental and discriminating in all sorts of way that probably pushed them to do such things? Or is it the government who failed to make education and employment accessible to everyone no matter what their status in life is?''

Kicking a pebble out of your way, it creates a dull thudding sounds. ''Proper education and enabling people to have a grasp of legal source of income would probably prevent crimes from happening. I'd like to think that most are just desperate measures.''

Mark hums. ''What you said are somewhat right. They makes sense.''

''But.. ?'' You know there's more that he itches to say.

''But, as much as everyone deserves to be heard and understood, some are just born evil. Born without remorse for others. It'll surprise you how we encounter many people such them in our daily lives. So avoid thinking that criminals did what they've done because they had a traumatic and devastating life. You're unknowingly justifying the ends by their means, something you cannot do especially if the lives of innocents are on the line.''

It's unclear why Mark sounds firm and sure regarding of meeting the people he just talked about but since their existence is not exactly a secret from the whole world, you suppose he's correct.

Too caught up in your conversation, your feet reached the entrance of your dorm's building in no time. Turning around, you offer a cheeky smile at him. ''Thank heavens then that I don't need to worry about my safety.''

Mark returns your smile with a hearty scoff. He knows where this is going. ''Uh-huh, and why is that?''

''Because I have Spiderman as my best friend! You'll protect me, won't you spidey?'' Giggling, Mark nudges your arm as you walk side by side, resorting to shaking his head instead of joining your spiderman agenda.

Spiderman or not, Mark vows to himself to keep you away from the darkness of this world with all his might. He already lost his uncle, he couldn't afford to lose someone so dear to his heart once again.

The alarm blares loudly and pierces your ear drums, almost busting them yet you didn't make any effort of getting up. The ringing sounds extra loud today, though. Ah.. you don't really want to wake up. Your body shifts to a new position, hands searching where your phone lays.

Definitely, no one wants to wake up before the roosters crows in a weekend where you should be using all your time to rest in preparation of yet another tiring week.

Skin making a contact with the source of the sound, you didn't feel any vibration with it. Just as when you decided to go back to sleep and withstand the annoying ringing of the alarm, rapid knocks on your door overpowered the previous sound, effectively pulling you out of the borderline between dreamland and reality.

You sit up. ''Fuck--'' It is only then that you realized, the alarm isn't coming from your usual alarm clock. Instead, it is the fire alarm ringing and announcing the state of your building.

With panic taking over your emotions, your body moves fast. Getting all the things that you know is important before soaking a blanket in water, covering yourself with it, and finally running out to leaving your room. Tears pricks your eyes as you meet the fiery blaze engulfing the whole building, enclosing in with every blink and every breath you take. You step a few backwards, lips quivering as you try to ignore the scorching heat seeping through the wet blanket, threatening to burn your skin any minute. Your eyes wavers.

There's so many ways you could die but dying helplessly amidst of an arson is not what you fancy. A scream of horror couldn't even be used to express your fear, you remain quiet and whimpering despite the shivering of your body, arms hugging yourself.

Your doors shut close once again, your back leaning against it as you falls to the ground, drops of tears continuously running down your cheeks. The fire started from a floor below yours, or at least that's what it seemed like. Meaning you absolutely have no chance of escaping the flames unless you jump out of your window. Surely, you're somehow survive a fall from the 5th floor, right?

A rattle created somewhere in your house snaps you out of your nonlogical thoughts. Looking up, you don't know whether to believe your eyes or rub the surface of your orbs, taking a second look in case what you're seeing is just a figment of your imagination. Maybe you're slowly losing some screws in the head.

But the movement of the figure, jogging towards you, tells you otherwise. ''What the fuck.. ?''

It's real.

It's him.

It's Spiderman in the fucking flesh.

Once again, you are stolen from your trance by his arms gently pulling you up, steadying you. Without much of a warning, the superhero scoops you in his arms and flies out of the window. And holy fuck, does it scared the shit out of you that the fibers of your body started to scream nothing but hold on tight to the man who's swinging down the building with you.

The uncalled adventure ended before you could even processed that your building is currently burning down, you got stucked between the fire and now Spiderman just saved you. No one should be able to blame you if you take days to properly digest what just happened.

He stands before you for a few more seconds, as if raking down his eyes. You tilt your head when he nods and runs to save the others. ''The fuck.. ?'' For the nth of the day, you let out a curse.

Your brain is totally playing with you. There's no fucking way Spiderman helped you, made sure that you got no wounds slash you're safe and sound before nodding as if to assure himself. Johnny is gonna combust if he's to hear your story.

The comfort of the thick blanket engulfs your figure as you hold your cellphone and wallet in your hand. Sighing, you turn to Jaehyun who came to your aid at this goddamn hour. ''You don't really have to stay with me, Jay. Pretty sure this'll end in an hour or so, you can go back now.''

Stubbornly, the male shakes his head. ''Did you know how worried we are when we heard from Mark that your dorm was on fire? Johnny and Haechan almost even flew out of Busan just to make sure you're alright.''

''Dude, I'm really fine, I promise. I can manage this, just rest.''

His hand pushes your head lightly to lay on his shoulder. ''No, you rest.''

Giving up, you let yourself relax, leaning your weigh towards Jaehyun as you pull the blanket tighter around you. The dreamland train is ready to send you to your slumber when your eyes opens abruptly, realizing what Jaehyun just said.

''Jay?''

He hums.

''From whom did you heard about the fire again?''

''Uh.. Mark?''

''And where is he right now?''

''... Dunno, maybe he's somewhere that's why he couldn't come.''

Your silence tells Jaehyun you're not convinced by his reason.

He silently prays Mark doesn't kick his ass.

2 hours passed and you decided to make Jaehyun drop you off on Mark's place, opting to stay there until everything's alright back at your apartment. It is proven that the male's walls have nothing against your persistent whines as you now lay on Mark's bed, scrolling through your phone.

Ever since stepping a foot here few minutes ago, you didn't catch nor sense Mark's presence. In usual days, it's Mark who zooms from wherever he is to your place once the news of something happening to you reaches him. But today, it was Jaehyun instead.

Your thoughts ponders to where it has been circling earlier. A voice inside you says something you surprisingly don't find hard to believe. Maybe it was your best friend who found you first after all, just not in his signature beanie and all black outfit.

''That's dumb. I should stop joining Johnny and Jaehyun with their shenanigans.''

You must've gone crazy now that you're talking to yourself.

''What's so crazy about that? Doesn't everyone talks to themselves at least once? It's not like it's so bad. According to scientists, taking to yourself brings you comfort and such.''

Of course, that's bullshit. You hate reading anything that involves science.

''Mark is not the superhero who got bitten by a magical spider that turned him into a man who saves the people from fire and crimes. Mark is just your stupid of a best friend that thinks putting strawberries in a microwave is a good idea because he likes his fruits warm. Mark is your best friend who's scared of cockroaches so how come he's a hero whose powers came from a spider? Mark is not Spiderman--''

Wrong. Absolutely Wrong.

Your claims got debunked right after you lay them down. You're absolutely fucking wrong.

The superhero whom you got to meet earlier, now stands in front of you once again. Hissing at what seemed to be a burn, unaware of the other presence inside the room, the mask comes off of his head, revealing the face the media and government would pay billions of money to see.

All this time, the jokes that Johnny and Jaehyun threw weren't all bullshit. Because the moment Spiderman turns out, the familiar chestnut shade eyes meets yours, effectively stilling both of your figures.

Holy motherfucking shit.

Spiderman IS Mark Lee.

''...''

''...''

''...''

''... let's treat your burn first.''

The hero nods like a puppy.

''Ouch! At least dab it gently. I may have powers but immunity to stings isn't one of them, you know?'' That only pushes you to dab the cotton pad harder on his burnt skin, earning a yelp.

''You deserve that after hiding this secret from us for how many years.''

''Who said I hid it from all of you? Johnny and Jaehyun have known about this months ago.'' Your glare scares the superhero embarrassingly. To be fair, it's not like Mark intended to let the duo know. It was accidental.

''And you didn't even dare to tell me, your literal best friend?'' You know exactly why he didn't want to risk revealing his secret even with those he trusts the most, you just don't know how to properly mask the worry inside you.

Mark, instead, smirks. ''Just say you're worried, it's not that bad to admit it, you know?'' He's right.

Your finger fumbles the cotton, eyes staring deeply to Mark's as you weigh the outcomes if you say the very sentence that lays at the tip of your tongue. The hem of your shirt moves, courtesy of Mark of playing with them.

Fuck it.

No one knows who leans in to who, all you know is that you desire to take more than the heat coming from Mark's tongue on yours. His arm wraps around your waist, flipping your position so you would be the one to lay on the bed, hovering your figure as his kisses travels down to your neck. Whimpers escapes your lips, hand threading the brown strands while the other feels the firm chest through his suit.

Your clothes soon flies to god knows where, the chilly wind bites through your bare skin but the flames of Mark's tongue licking every surface he can eases it. The lips comes back to meet yours one more time, devouring every area that he can reach. It's nothing like you expected to experience from Mark.

It's fierce, hot, and needy.

Wet sounds of kissing echoes through the silence of the room, rustling clothes accompanying it as Mark takes off his suit.

Fingers ghosting over the line that serves as an entrance to your core, your breath hitches. They entered Mark's mouth first, sucking and licking before pulling them out full of saliva just for the show. Finally dipping inside you, a sigh couldn't help but to be let out. It's deep, something you're unable to do whenever you're left to fend for yourself.

Mark gets on it, inserting one after another with little rest in between until he feels you're stretched enough for him. You pant, the angry red tip touching and tracing the line of your pussy, enough to send you desperate. So desperate that you whine and grinds your hips upwards to meet his length.

Caging you in his embrace, Mark's lips stays on yours as his cock slowly but smoothly slides past your opening, the veins rubbing along your walls enough to receive a quiet moan from you. There's a slight sting caused by the stretched of Mark's girthy dick but that's what you wanted, for it to hurt even a bit. In order for you could feel Mark fully.

''Good?''

''So good.''

Mark chuckles, observing your facial expression as he makes circles with his hips, hand caressing your sides in a comforting way. When he senses that you've gotten used to his cock sliding in and out of your entrance, he with no doubts quickens his pace. He starts fucking.

Screams of his name along with vulgar profanity fills the apartment, loud skin slapping fuelling the hunger for release. ''More, more, more-- fuck, Mark, please.''

The male grunts. God, just your calls of his name is enough to make him come. It takes him a lot of self-control to prevent his climax from raining on him quickly. With the determination of bringing you over the edge, his hips snaps harder, harsher and faster.

The way his tip gets caught on your walls before fully pulling out is hypnotizing. Hands gripping the pillow beside your head, Mark changes his angle a bit and that's when you scream his name loud enough for the neighbors to complain tomorrow. Mercilessly, Mark's bulbous tip jabs on your spot dead on continuously, giving you no time to catch some air.

His mouth attaches to your skin as he paints it with love bruises, a remembrance of your activity. ''Aah, shit-- are you close, baby? Are you gonna come around my cock? Tighten your-- fuck-- walls around me until I can't fucking-- aah-- breathe?''

You nod, chanting his name like a mantra as you plead him to bring you the mind numbing pleasure. Scratching his back, nails digging and creating crescent moon shapes on his skin-- Mark finds himself only getting closer to coming. His fingers wraps themselves around your wrist, placing your palm on the expanse of his neck. Mark groans when he feels the pleasuring grip on the sides of his throat, eyes rolling to the back as the perfect press sends him to his peak.

With your walls pulsating around him, white cream creating a customized ring for his cock, Mark thrusts once, twice, trice and a few more before he pulls out. Ribbons of white makes itself known on your stomach through the warmth it radiates. His head is thrown to the back as his mouth falls apart, moaning your name.

Minutes passes by and it was only then that Mark came to his senses, laying carefully beside you. Despite just having his cock inside you not long ago, Mark visibly stills when you wrap your arms around his waist. You chuckle.

''Any secrets you have that you want to tell me?'' Whispering against his shoulder, Mark gains the courage of placing his arm to hug you side ways. He smiles, staring at the ceiling.

''If I didn't know any better, I'd say that smiles means you like me.''

''Well, do you?''

''Do I what?''

''Know better.''

Giggles of happiness echoes the bedroom.

It is night and your heels clicking the floor is heard along the quiet alley. You purses your lips, hands buried in the pockets of your jacket to hide from the freezing cold of the night. Eyes remaining to the ground, you steps comes to a halt when you sense another presence just behind you.

The shadow shows an upside down figure of someone, a strange yet familiar way. You turn around with no fear, smile of adore dawning your face as the sight of your boyfriend waiting greets you.

''Hi,'' Softly, you caress his upside down face. ''The people are waiting for you to save them, spidey.''

''Can I get my good luck? So I'd know someone is waiting for me to get back home?'' Chuckle rumbles on your chest as you pinch his cheek.

Your fingers tugs the hem of his mask, enough to reveal the naturally red yet slightly chapped lips that you love. Pressing a loving kiss, you hoped that Mark was able to decipher all the feelings you've put.

''Can I tell you a secret?''

You didn't wait a respond from him.

''I love you.''

You peck his lips.

''So damn much.''

You fix his mask and ensure that it wouldn't slip off of him.

''Be careful while saving the world, will you? I wouldn't know what to do if I lose mine.''

With one last kiss through the fabric of his mask, Mark vows that after helping the people, he will come back safely-- to his very own home, his own world.

Unravel Me | LHC (M)

Forced proximity, Haechan x fem reader

Summary: Haechan loves chasing you, but you hate it. You've rejected him so many times, but that just makes him come back stronger. One night, he takes it too far, and the both of you end up locked in a tiny room together after trying to set the record straight. You tell him you hate him and would never date him, let alone fuck him, but is that true?

Warnings: sexual content, tiny bit of dubcon elements, dom Haechan, unprotected sex, pull out method, degrading, bit of a pain kink, spanking, choking, pacing is a lil fast in this one, proofread but may still contain errors

Word count: 4,1k

Song recs: unravel me by Sabrina Claudio

A/N: Happy 300 to me!!! I'm already almost at 400 followers already. I really appreciate that you guys like my writing so much so this is for you guys and for me a little too. Hope you enjoy!! Feedback is loved and appreciated 🤍🤍

"Haechan stand up," you said through gritted teeth.

"No, I'm not gonna stand up."

People were staring at the both of you, confused looks all over their faces. Haechan was on his knees in front of you in the middle of a banquet begging you for your attention. He asked you out multiple times on multiple occasions, and you always rejected him. You truly weren't interested and wanted him to move on, but this time he's taken a new low.

"Is he proposing," you hear someone say.

A shiver crawls up your spine, now feeling more panicked than ever. You took him by his collar, lifting him off the ground swiftly. You had a blank look on your face as you took his hand and pulled him out the hall trying to stay calm. Walking out doors to the back of the estate, you let out a frustrated sigh. Your eyes shifted, seeing that the both of you wouldn't be the only people there. Too many people would hear the mouthful you're about to give him.

Haechan followed you with a small smile as you dragged him around the estate. He knew what was about to happen and he loved it every time it did. Every time you told him no, it made him want to go back and try again stronger and harder. You always said you didn't like him and couldn't stand him, but if that was the case why hadn't you blocked his number yet? Why did you keep responding to his messages and flirting? Haechan always felt like you were holding back, so maybe this incident would be the tip of the iceberg.

You were still walking around looking when you noticed the private office of the house was cracked open, without thinking you pulled him into the small space, shutting the door quickly behind the both of you.

"What the fuck is your problem," you spat.

Haechan shrugged, giving you a look of indifference. "You said in order for you to date me, I'd have to get on my knees and beg."

"I didn't mean it literally Haechan! Are you fucking crazy or something," you whisper yelled. "You know what? I tried to be nice, but now you're just completely insane. I don't fucking like you. I don't want to date you. Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?"

Haechan looked at you with a blank face. "I think you're lying."

You squinted at him frustrated, scoffing at his words. "Lying about what?"

"I think you do like me," he protested.

You let out an annoyed groan, throwing your head back. "And why the fuck do you think that?"

"Because you would've blocked my number a long time ago," he started. "You wouldn't have pulled me in here in private to tell me to stop if you didn't like me."

"Well you know what.." you reached for the door knob, grabbing it as you looked at him. "Now I'm gonna leave, so you can be alone." You twisted the knob expecting the door to open, but all you got was nothing. You twisted it again, pulling it harder but it still didn't budge. Panic started to sleep in as you kept repeating the steps over and over with nothing changing.

You were locked in a room with Haechan and no one knew. Not only that but it was on the other side of the estate. You turned to him, being forced to look at his mocking smile. "The door is locked."

"So shouldn't you call someone," he inquired.

"You're right," you sighed. You pulled out your phone and called someone you knew was there, but they didn't pick up. You called again, but the same thing happened. The third time you called, the call was immediately dropped. You pulled the phone from your ear, looking at the top corner. You had no bars and you were pretty sure he knew this.

"You let me drag you over here knowing I would have no service," you grumbled. "You're evil."

"I'm not evil. I just let you act freely," he claimed. Haechan stood in front of you with the most smug expression you've seen yet. His hands were in his pockets, leaning on the door frame that the both of you stood in front of. You glanced at his neck, realizing that he never fixed his collar that you messed up when you dragged him off the floor.

Just then is when you realized how small the room was. It was a bit dark, the only thing illuminating the room was the moon light and the small desk lamp that was on. You watched him as he loosened his tie and unbuttoned his shirt a bit, gulping at the sudden action.

"Well we're probably gonna be in here a while so we might as well get comfortable right?"

"Whatever," you grumbled. You walked to the chair in the corner of the room sitting in it and crossing your legs. He was right, the two of you were gonna be in that small, stuffy, dark room for a bit so there was no need to keep your heels on either. Quickly, you kick them off your feet, sighing at the relief you were given.

Haechan sat on the desk, leaning on his arms that were now being him. You wanted to pretend to be busy on your phone or something, but there was no use when you couldn't even use it, so now you were forced to sit there with your arms crossed staring at a wall.

"You know you can talk to me right? We don't have to sit here in silence."

You scoffed, turning your body away from him in the seat. "I don't wanna talk to you."

Haechan laughed softly, licking his lips as his eyes scanned over your body. He loved messing with you, getting you angry just to curse at him. You always held yourself in so much regard, never getting angry or losing your cool with most people. But for some reason he bought those feelings out of you, even in places like this.

You had to stop letting him get you angry, and you were going to stop it for once and for all in this very room.

-

It had been about 2 hours already and you were sure no one was looking for you both. You haven't even heard any noise from outside the door and it was already 11:30. You were beginning to think that you'd be there till the morning. But even if that was true, you still wouldn't say anything to Haechan.

He figured out the game you were playing when you wouldn't respond to him after a while, leaving him to talk to himself. You were really stubborn and he knew that, but he didn't think you would be this bad. But even when you were mad at him he couldn't get the thought of all the things he could do to you in the room. Take you and fuck you over the desk. Or rip your dress off and fuck you against the window. Maybe he could just spread your legs in the chair you were sitting and just eat you out like there was no tomorrow. Your legs did look good in the dress.

"Can you stop staring at me?" That was the first thing you said to him in a while, the annoyed look forever stuck in your face.

"I'm sorry, you just look really good tonight." Haechan smiles to himself seeing how obviously off put you were by the sudden compliment. "You're not good at hiding your facial expressions."

"Stop talking to me."

"As if you want me to stop talking," he replied, giving you a dry laugh. You shot him a glare, but he looked so good at that moment. You don't know how, but his hair was a bit disheveled and looked like he unbuttoned his shirt a bit more.

You wanted to say something but you couldn't. He had a response for everything. You couldn't stand it. You couldn't stand his witty mind or how he laughed at you. You couldn't stand how he would smile at your anger or lick his lips every time he saw you. The way he would tease you just to make you squirm. You couldn't stand the way his hands would brush against yours sometimes. Sometimes you wanted his hands on you, sometimes you wanted his soft lips on yours. You wanted his body against yours, holding you tight as if he would lose you.

Haechan was so observant, and for some reason you forgot this when you crossed your legs and squeezed them tight. His eyes went from your face to your legs quickly. "What was that about?"

"What? I can't cross my legs now," you snapped. You responded a little bit too quickly, almost like you were caught doing something you weren't supposed to. You looked over at him, breath hitching when you see the way he was sitting now. His legs were open leaning back on one hand while the other was ghosting over his zipper.

"If you wanna fuck me all you have to do is ask."

"Oh please, I would never in a million years fuck you," you said rolling your eyes.

"Well it's looking like you want to right now," he snickered. "We wouldn't have to beat around the bush if you weren't so uptight."

Something in you snapped when you heard the word uptight. You stood up, walking to him with anger. You stood directly between his legs, a scowl overtaking your lips. "I am not uptight. I've worked too hard and too much to ever let myself be called uptight by anyone, especially a man child like you."

Haechan tilted his head, lids dropping as he glanced at your glossed lips. "Don't you ever get lonely," he asked out of the blue.

"What are you talking about?"

"You aren't good at hiding your emotions," he pointed out. "I saw you staring at all the other couples earlier. I know you're lonely."

"I am not lonely," you argue. "I'm perfectly fine by myself, thank you very much."

He raised a brow, not believing your words for one second. "When was the last time someone touched you?"

"W-why do you care?" You didn't mean to stutter, but the mere thought of it was actually starting to drive you insane. It's been a long time. You never meant for it to happen that way, it's just been because of work and family drama that you haven't really been able to find anyone. You've just been so tired and exhausted, sometimes you couldn't even be bothered to touch yourself.

Haechan couldn't take it anymore, being so close to you and you still pretending you didn't want him. He put his hands on your waist, pulling you closer to him and the desk.

"Haechan stop," you said, shocked. You uncrossed your arms, pushing at his chest to get out his grasp, but he wasn't budging. You gulped, the feeling of his soft hands on your skin showing in the cutouts of the dress making your head spin. And he smelled so good, did he always smell this good? Maybe it was the lack of sexual attention, but you were starting to lose your mind right about now.

"You don't really want me to stop do you?" His quiet, warm, nothing like the usual mocking he took with you. It made you wet, and you didn't like that. His hands moved to your lower back, rubbing circles on your body.

Your heart was beating out your chest at this point and you just kept getting wetter and wetter with the way he was talking to you, looking at you, just being near him was enough. You didn't realize how touch deprived you had been, but now you're too deep to get out. Your mouth went dry trying to fish the words out your head. For the first time in your life, you're completely speechless.

"I'll take that as a no." Haechan moved his hands back to your sides, raising them ever so slowly till his thumbs brushed the underside of your chest. "I can feel your heart beating. Fuck that's hot."

You stood there completely still letting him touch you. He was so close to you, you could feel his breath on your skin. You couldn't help but let your eyes flicker to his lips, they were so pretty and plump, and probably really soft.

"You wanna kiss me don't you," he whispered, leaning into you. His mouth hovered over yours the perfect amount, lips brushing over yours lightly. "It's okay, just admit it Y/N. You wanna kiss me. You wanna fuck me."

Gulping, you shook your head, but Haechan was quick to see how your brows furrowed. "No.."

"I bet you wore this pretty dress just for me didn't you," he accused, laughing dryly when you scoffed. Haechan trailed his hands down your body again going directly to your ass, gripping it hard, but not too rough. "You want me to tell you what I want right now?"

"If you were man enough, you'd just do it." You were completely caught off guard when he planted a firm smack to your ass smiling and biting his lip. You let out a gasp, fingers taking a soft hold of his shirt. "H-haechan, don't do that," you stuttered. You wanted to not like it, but you did. You liked it a lot and you wanted him to do it again. At that moment, you just happened to look down and see that he was fully hard, straining against his pants.

"You talk too much," he mumbled. He was breathing heavily, taking every bit of energy in his body to restrain himself from jumping off the desk and bending you over.

"Shut me up."

Haechan wasted no time capturing your lips on his in a heated, messy kiss. Your hands flew to his face, holding it as you kissed him deeply. He still tasted like the whiskey he was drinking earlier and his lips are softer than you imagined. The little moans that left your mouth made him dizzy. He always thought of this moment, always feeling like it would be a bit anticlimactic, but he was so wrong.

Haechan moved you back a bit, lips still on yours as he hopped off the desk and spun you around. He pressed his body against yours, fingers traveling up the slit in your dress. "Are you kidding," he said against your lips, smirking to himself. "You're not even wearing shorts under this. Fuck, you drive me crazy."

He slips his hand between your legs, parting lips with you when he feels exactly how wet you are. "Fuck babe is literally down your legs."

You hide your face in his neck from embarrassment. He affects you too easily and all you had to do was hide it till someone could find the both of you. But here you were, kissing him, letting him touch you.

"Nuh uh, look at me," he said gently, making you face him. He pulled his fingers from under your dress, your arousal making them glisten in the low light. "So this is what I do to you hm? And you said you'd never fuck me."

"Shut up," you whined softly. "You're so annoying."

"I can't be as annoying as this pussy aching to be fucked, can I?" He put his fingers up to your mouth, looking at you like he was about to pounce. "Suck it."

"What? No," you refused, shaking your head slightly.

"Suck. It."

Haechan's tone suddenly changed, going from teasing and soft to demanding. You stopped talking and licked his fingers, wrapping your lips around them tasting yourself in your tongue. And if you didn't know any better, you'd say the look you were giving him right about now could make him cum alone.

"That's it," he cooed. "That's a good girl." Heat rushed to you when he took his fingers out your mouth, looking away to avoid his hungry gaze. Haechan let out a chuckle, kissing you softly. "Now let's get this dress out the way hm?" Haechan turned you around gently, unzipping the back of your dress. You let the silk fall off your body, and pool at your feet.

All too quickly, he bent you over the desk, making you gasp in shock. Just when you were about to say something, you felt a hard smack on your ass. "Fuck," you choked out through gritted teeth.

"That's for saying no the first time."

Smack.

"That's for the second time."

Smack.

The list kept going and going, some smacks harder than the next. You completely forgot where you were at the point, moans and groans becoming louder with each hit. You were sure you weren't gonna be able to sit without feeling pain for a bit.

"God you're enjoying this aren't you," he chuckled darkly. "you're so wet, it's dripping all over the floor. I should make you lick it up."

Panicked, you shook your head fast. "N-no."

"It's okay I wouldn't do that to you. Yet." He moves down your spine with his fingers, snapping your bra against your skin making you whine softly. "God, you're really loving this aren't you."

You started hearing the clink of him undoing his belt, the sound making you both nervous and excited. You needed this so badly, you were so sensitive, any touch, sound, taste would probably send you over the edge. You were pretty sure you were going to cum if he kept spanking you.

Haechan quickly pulled himself out of his pants quickly, cock already dripping with precum. "Now you tell me. Should I just fuck you or should I make you wait like you made me?"

"Haechan please, just fuck me," you whispered breathlessly. You absolutely hated begging for anything. It was so embarrassing that you went from yelling at him and demanding him to now pleading for him to be inside you.

"I wonder what all those people out there would say if they saw you like this." He rubbed his tip against your core, pushing it against your panties teasingly. You arched you back against him, wanting to feel more of him. "You're like a bitch in heat. Fuck Y/N, you needed this for a long time didn't you?"

You nodded fast, pressing your legs together for some pressure. "Please Haechan just give it to me already."

"Since you asked so nicely.." Haechan ripped your panties to your ankles, eyes never leaving the absolute mess between your legs. Pressing his tip on your entrance, he held your hip tight. Slowly, he pushed himself into you letting you feel the stretch you long needed. And at that moment, a look of surprise spread across his face when you let out a loud shaky whimper fluttering around him.

"Did you just cum," he said, mocking tone lacing his voice.

"I-I couldn't help it," you said, voice muffled on the table. You wanted to say something else, but was cut off by the feeling of him thrusting into you slowly. With each movement, you let out a choked moan. He thrusted so deep into you, you could feel every inch of him. The feeling was so intoxicating that you started to move your hips at the same time as him.

"Good girl," he grunted lowly. "Fuck that pretty pussy on this cock."

Your moans filled the room, the constant whimpers jumping off the walls back into your ears. Haechan took your arms and pinned them to your back when he started to fuck you faster. Your face was pressed on the smooth wooden desk practically drooling. You jumped feeling him plant a hard smack on your ass. "F-fuck!"

"You like that?"

"Mhm," you whimpered, hissing at the feeling of another smack. Haechan smacked your ass again, pounding into you hard. Your skin pinched slightly against the edge of the desk, but the pain mixed with the pleasure made your eyes roll back. "Haechan, I-I'm gonna cum."

"No you're not," he growled. Haechan pulled out of you and lifted your body off the desk. Haechan turned you around, lifting you and sitting your body on the wood. He pushed your body down looking at the mess he made of you. Your makeup was a mess, drool and small tears painting your cheeks. In his eyes, you were an absolute dream. So pretty, messy, weak, submissive and it was all for him.

Haechan swiftly pulled your hips off the edge of the desk, making you groan quietly. He lined himself back with your core, pushing himself in you and bottoming out. Haechan gave you no time to make sense of the change in position, fucking into you quick and hard.

"Haechan," you whined loudly, wrapping your legs around his waist. You were intoxicated in his touch, eyes practically rolling to the back of your head when his hand rubbed up your body and around your neck.

"These are in the way," he mumbled, a grin spreading on his lips. And with that, he ripped the pearl necklace off your neck, the sound of the tiny expensive balls hitting the ground all around the both of you.

"That..that was expensive," you moaned breathlessly, brows furrowing at the pressure around your neck.

"Don't worry babe I can buy another one." He squeezed your neck the right amount almost as if he knew it was perfect. Your hands flew to his wrist, squeezing it as you stared up at him lost in the feeling of him filling you up.

"I'm gonna cum," you whimpered breathlessly.

"Cum. Cum for me Y/N," he grunted, slamming into you. "Fuck I'm so close." He took his hand on your neck, plunging it between your legs, rubbing your neglected clit fast.

You were so fucked out of your mind, so sensitive to the point where you couldn't even form a coherent sentence. All you could do is reach up and make grabby hands to communicate with him, and luckily for you, he understood. Haechan leaned down, kissing you messily and passionately. You held onto his shirt, your grip so strong he was afraid you'd pop a button.

"Haechan, I…I" You came around him with a loud high pitched whine, core squeezing around him right. Your ankles locked around his waist, not letting him go until you calm down from your high. Once your grip weakened, he pulled out of you quickly making you whine at the loss of him. Haechan stroked himself quickly above your limp tired body.

"Shit." He came on your stomach, the white fluid sticking to your lace lingerie painting your pretty skin.

The both of you stayed where you were for a minute allowing yourselves to catch your breaths. That's when it dawned on you that you just fucked Haechan, the one person you said you would never fuck. But you didn't feel bad about it or even embarrassed. In fact, you waited for the moment for a long time.

Haechan broke your deep thoughts patting your cheek to get your attention. "You okay down there?"

"Why wouldn't I be," you huffed, sitting up on your elbows weakly. You watched Haechan eye your body, jaw clenching when he got to the mess on your stomach.

"I wanna put a baby in you so badly," he mumbled.

"Okay, that's moving pretty fast," you laughed softly. "I can't believe we just did that."

"It was bound to happen." Haechan whipped the sweat off his brow, pushing his already messy hair back. "I always thought about how this moment would happen."

"Of course you did. That's probably all you could think about for the past couple of months," you snickered.

"You say that like you didn't have wet dreams about me and probably thought about me when you-"

"Okay, okay. You win" you said quietly accepting defeat. "It's so..hot in here."

"Do you think the window will open?"

"I don't know. Give it a try."

Haechan fixed himself up quickly and walked to the window. He placed his hands on the underside of the window, not thinking that it would open at all due to how old the house was, but to his and your surprise, it did.

"Are you fucking kidding me," you groaned softly.

"Don't be mad. At least you got some dick out of this," he teased.

"Shut up and just help me get dressed."

"If I help you, will you go on a date with me?"

"If I agree, will you stop being annoying and never talk about this again?"

"Can't make any promises to that, but I can promise to buy you a new necklace."

"Then we have a deal."

i'm feeling lonely too...but how am i going to let go of my delusional thoughts now 😭😭

haechan — if i believe you  

haechan x fem!reader 10.6k, angst & fluff, fake dating to real a/n: thank you all for waiting...this is the longest thing i've ever written :) i really hope that you can enjoy this and the emotions and everything are immersive and not too annoying with the miscommunication/repression i hope. these two are my favorite ever, quiet haechan is my favorite ever and i would love to revisit them maybe in a later fic. anyway, let me know if you like this!! thank you for reading <3 it’s a little difficult to be around your friend group when they’re all like this.

it’s a little past midnight, and you don’t know how it happened but the room has been split into happy pairs, all in their own world. movie on the tv forgotten, jaemin has his arm slung around a girl as they whisper to each other on the floor next to the couch, which is taken up by jeno — currently very endearingly laughing at something his girlfriend said. renjun was arguing with his girlfriend, but you know that neither of them truly meant it. you don’t know how it happened, but it seemed that this year, the trip to jaemin’s beach house had turned into a triple date for which you were seriously 7th wheeling. the sight makes your heart hurt a little, because you suddenly feel so crushingly lonely. 

“still here?” 

you almost forgot that haechan was here too. almost. 

sliding in to sit next to you on the kitchen island, he was dressed cozily for bed: his hoodie rolled up to his elbows, smelling slightly of toothpaste and fabric softener. you didn’t actually talk to haechan that much, you were always closer with jaemin in the friend group, but sometimes when eating together he’d catch your eye after a particularly terrible joke, or you would raise your eyebrows at him for something questionable said. you had almost developed an entirely non-verbal form of communication in that way, the two of you sharing your humor, and yet you didn’t actually know a whole lot about each other. a part of you thinks that you know a different haechan from everyone else, because in all the looks you pass each other and the comfortable silence you share, the haechan you know is quiet and sensitive, with a world of kindness in him that made you feel calm. and although you know he can be obnoxious and loud, his laughter echoing down corridors and smile brighter than the sun, you much preferred the haechan you knew. 

you also thought he was the prettiest boy you’d seen in a long while — something casual about the way he would smile, or wink at people, and his habit of poking his tongue in his cheek…but you weren’t going to tell him that. 

“yeah, still here.” you exhale. “when did you make your escape?” 

“about 30 minutes ago.” he smiled fondly at the happy couples in the room. “it’s a bit funny how the room just rearranged itself. i could’ve sworn jaemin was beside me at the dinner table the entire night but somewhere along the way he dematerialised and reappeared next to the sofa.” 

“love can do that to a person.” you rolled your eyes, before pausing to consider that maybe haechan was not quite in the same predicament as you. “hey, speaking of, why didn’t you bring your girlfriend?” 

because you were sure that haechan had a girlfriend, who he would sometimes leave gatherings early to see. you vaguely remembered renjun complaining about how he always had to walk her to class, never showing up to gatherings anymore because of some surprise or another. 

haechan blinks at you. “don’t have one anymore. we broke up quite a few months ago.” at the guilt-striken look on your face, he shakes his head to reassure you. 

“i’m over it,” he says softly. “don’t worry about me, okay?”

you can’t imagine anyone breaking up with haechan — haechan who was so gentle. with his radiant smile and his arms full of flowers whenever he surprised her. haechan who walked her to her classes. 

“i’m sorry to hear that. you deserved better i’m sure.” 

he smiles, and it looks kind of shy. “if you say so.” 

“hey y/n-” you look up at jaemin’s voice, and realize that somehow, the room had emptied out while you were talking to haechan. the only person left was jaemin, who had just finished clearing the bottles and snack wrappers. “we’re going to bed, i’m going to turn out the lights now.” 

“okay, thanks jaem.” 

he made to leave, but stopped abruptly. “ y/n, remember-” jaemin looked at you sternly, one hand on the light switch, one pointed at you. 

“repeat after me: do not trust how you feel about your entire life past 9pm.” a pause, as he glances at the clock on the wall. “or 1am, for that matter.” 

you laugh. “thanks jaem.” 

“repeat it”, he insists. 

“do not trust how i feel about my life past 1am.” 

“good.” jaemin nods in acknowledgement to haechan, flicks the light switch, and just like that, haechan and you sit alone at the kitchen island, illuminated by the moonlight through the glass doors.

suddenly, it is so quiet you feel like you want to sit in the moment forever. 

you look over at him, and haechan raises his eyebrows. it is a look you know well. care to explain?

“sometimes i get really emotional at night”, you explain. “tend to overthink. jaemin knows that because i’m always calling him talking about one thing or the other.” thinking about how embarrassing it would be if you started oversharing, you quickly promise, “but i’m working on it, don’t worry. i won’t do that to you.” 

haechan smiles. “i don’t mind.” he blinks at you and supports his chin with his hands. “we have all night. tell me what’s on your mind right now.” 

“really?” you look skeptical. once again, you and haechan haven’t really talked that much at all. you think this is maybe the longest conversation you’ve had with him, with so many words. 

“it’s okay if you don’t want to. but i’m just saying, i wouldn’t mind.” he smiles, and it warms your heart. 

asking you softly if you would like something to drink, he gets up to make hot chocolate for the two of you. and you’re sitting there, not even trying, but suddenly the moonlight and the soft sounds of haechan padding around the kitchen are setting off a feeling of butterflies making their way to your throat from your stomach. there are shivers running up and down your spine because there is something tender and fragile in this moment that you can’t pinpoint, and a deep feeling begins to crawl its way, spreading through your toes and fingertips. all you know is it’s the feeling you get before you’re about to spill your heart out to someone. 

“haechan?” 

he hums, and the sound could break your heart. 

“do you ever feel lonely sometimes?” 

you hear the smile in his voice without having to turn around to look at him — its the one that starts at the corners and spreads slowly across his face. “so this is what keeps you up at night.” 

“i’m serious, haechan.” running your hands through your hair, you are aware that you are beginning to sound like a rom-com protagonist, but you don’t care. 

“sorry.” you hear the clink of teaspoons against cups as he stirs the hot chocolate. “i mean, i guess i do feel a little lonely sometimes. but it’s not…an all-consuming thought.” a pause. “i guess it is, for you though, isn’t it?” 

you hesitate, before nodding because fuck it, this has been on your mind for way too long and jaemin was rarely helpful. always with his arm slung over another girl, you had a hard time getting jaemin to admit he got lonely sometimes. 

choosing your words carefully, you continue your spiel. “it’s just…it’s insane to me how we are told that life is so romantic, that there are so many wonderful moments in love we can look forward to, but none of that is happening to me and it doesn’t seem like it will be happening any time soon.” 

haechan comes over to you, and passes you a mug of hot chocolate. soothingly, he places a hand on yours where it rests on the counter. “you have to wait y/n. i promise, one day you’ll find someone who loves you, and all the things you’re dreaming about will happen.” 

“you can’t know that for sure,” you press. “i mean, when will someone write a love letter to me? will we kiss in the rain in the park? will they run to see me at a new year’s eve party?” 

“woah woah woah, slow down.” he nudges your mug with his, indicating that you should drink, so you take a sip of chocolate: it’s rich and warm. 

“i’m sorry. it’s just over the years things just keep getting added to this list of love, and now that i look at it it just seems ever the more impossible.” 

“love isn’t defined by actions and experiences,” haechan muses. 

“but i want to experience these things,” you say, feeling a little shy at how raw this conversation was getting.  

haechan smiles at that, at the yearning hidden in your small voice. the two of you sit for a while, nursing your cups of chocolate, lost in your own thoughts. enjoying the warmth of his hand on yours, you look at the glimmering countertop and choose not to say anything so he doesn’t move his hand away. 

and suddenly, out of the blue, haechan asks you a question. 

“just out of curiosity, what are some things on your list?” 

feeling a little embarrassed, because really — sharing your romantic fantasies with someone was beyond intimate, you mumble, “just simple things. going to the aquarium. being a couple at the amusement park, on the ferris wheel. watching fireworks together. cuddling while watching movies in my bedroom.” 

haechan thinks about it for a moment. you can almost see the wheels turning in his head. you sit in silence for so long, you’re about to ask him what he’s thinking about, or tell him it’s not that serious, when he speaks up.

“i’ll do them with you.” 

you almost choke. “i’m sorry?” 

“i’ll help you complete your list.” he looks at you, as if it’s a completely normal thing he’s just said. 

“but…but i mean…” you blink confusedly. you were supposed to do those things with a boyfriend or someone you loved, not just as friends. that would defeat the whole purpose. 

reading your mind, haechan added “it’ll just be like fake dating. i’ll pretend to be your boyfriend so you can experience all that you want to.” 

you’re beginning to see a little bit of the haechan that you don’t usually get to see, as he grins at you and there’s suddenly something sharp to the smile you always found gentle. “the full, personalised, boyfriend experience. just so you can have a go.” 

you laugh, but that’s just a cover for all the questions running through your head. “i-i don’t know,” you stammer. “does it even count if it’s fake?” 

“you’re the one making the rules.” tilting his head to the side, his eyes glimmer almost teasingly. 

“but what are you suggesting? what do you have in mind?” 

“well…” haechan hums as he thinks about it. “i could do everything with you on the list, as your fake boyfriend. in the timeframe that we’re going about carrying out this activity i’ll be fully and completely your boyfriend, yours to hug and kiss and hold hands with, until it’s over. then we can go back to being…” he smiles at you, hesitantly. “friends? does that work?” 

this haechan makes your palms sweaty, and makes your breath catch. this haechan makes you feel jumpy, and nervous, and impulsive. you think you’d do anything he asked in that moment. 

“okay.” you say slowly, and he smiles wide. “wait no.” you hesitate. “wait, fuck it, yes. let’s do it.” 

he laughs. “are you sure?” 

“wait.” his body heat is radiating off his skin as all his attention is focused on you. lips still pressed into a smile, his eyes bright and far too mesmerizing in the dim moonlight. and you can’t help but wonder then, “what if we catch feelings?” 

tilting his head to the side in consideration, he leans in close, one arm reaching out to cage you in. the two of you are nose to nose. you can count his every eyelash, see the constellation of moles scattered across his face and neck. his breath so close to your own, that your eyes can’t help but flutter shut.

“then that’s the best part.” he whispers.

x 

you try not to think about how you felt when haechan leaned in, or the way the circles he traced into the back of your hand were still burning. you couldn’t help looking for the smell of his perfume on your clothes.

you’re way too easy, y/n. this is only the first real conversation you’ve had with him. 

you’re about to turn off the lights and call it a night, hoping to some power above that you’re able to reign in your emotions come morning, when there’s a light tap at your door. 

“y/n? are you there?” 

it’s him. you spend about 5 seconds debating whether or not to pretend you’ve already fallen asleep, but curiosity eventually wins you over. crossing over to the door, you place a hand on the doorknob. 

“haechan?” 

you can hear him shift from behind the door, pushing it so it keeps shut. “y/n, wait, don’t open the door. i just want to tell you something.” 

slowly, you remove your hand from the doorknob and the latch clicks back, shut.

 “okay…” 

he’s breathing softly, and in the quiet you can hear it as if he were in the room with you. “y/n, i’m sorry i sprung the idea on you just now. you can forget i said anything if it made you uncomfortable.” he shifts his weight from foot to foot, nervously. “especially the part about catching feelings.” 

“it’s fine,” you say softly, but there’s a little disappointment stinging at you. does he regret it? 

“but also, if you’d like, i would really love to do all those things with you,” the words come out in a rush, as if he’s trying to be brave. “as fake lovers. without feelings attached.” 

you don’t know what to say, and you can tell that for each second you stay silent, haechan is growing less and less confident behind the door. you run things through in your head quickly. this plan meant that you were able to jump headlong into romantic experiences you’ve dreamt of for what felt like your whole life, without the potential of them being ruined by a bad date, or waiting for years more to find the right one. and most of all, you trusted haechan with this.

haechan is leaning against the opposite wall, looking at the floorboards, but his head shoots up when you open the door. 

taking a deep breath, you look him in the eyes. “let’s do it.” 

“really?” shocked, he reaches for you — maybe to wrap you in his arms for a hug, but drops them, remembering what he had said about making you feel uncomfortable. putting his hands behind his back to resist the urge to swing you into the air, his expression of surprise melts into a huge smile. one that makes you laugh. 

“you’re more excited about this than me,” you tease, and because you just can’t help it, you step forward and give him a quick hug. “thanks for doing this with me.” 

instantly, his arms loop around your waist, squeezing tightly. “thank you for trusting me.” 

the butterflies in your stomach, however, tell you that you were maybe being a bit too trusting. without feelings attached. because would that really be possible with him, who’s currently making your heart race and your breath catch? 

x

it was a week since the beach house. and while the opening of summer felt optimistic and hopeful, now everyone had to wander back to their lives and figure out exactly what they were going to do for the next three months. jeno and renjun had an ongoing bet that jaemin would be fired from his summer job within the week. and jaemin had a bet with you that jeno and renjun wouldn’t find themselves a job that entire summer.

but you knew exactly what you were going to do for the season. and it all started with getting in the passenger seat of haechan’s car as he took you to a waffles place for breakfast. 

“hey.” 

“hi.” he flashes a quick smile at you. “you look nice today.” 

“really?” you adjust the collar of your shirt self-consciously, checking on your hair through the rearview mirror. 

“no, i lied.” he laughs, and the sound is all too fitting for the morning sunshine that flits in through the windows. “yes, i mean it. i like your shirt.”

“my shirt?” 

“just take the compliment.” 

you can’t help a smile of your own. “okay. i will.”

for a while, he drives in silence. it’s a peaceful sense of calm that you think you’ll come to enjoy. there’s a lot of comfort in just sitting next to haechan, watching his hands move on the wheel, his careful eyes scanning the road.

“so, y/n, i took a look at your list,” he starts. 

you had texted him a small list of the things you were thinking about doing. the classic dinner and a movie. going to the amusement park. sharing a kiss while watching fireworks. 

feeling a little shy all of a sudden in his car, you nod. “is it a bit much?”

“not at all,” he says quickly. “i was just wondering how you’ve never done some of those things before. i would’ve thought going to the amusement park was entry level honeymoon phase stuff.” 

you nod approvingly. “it’s sweet that you think so.” 

“didn’t you use to have a boyfriend?” 

“i did,” you muse. “i dated mark a while ago.” 

“our senior?” 

“yeah.” looking out the window at the cars passing by, you think back to your time with mark. “he was always nice to me. but we never really went out and did things. we broke up because i was someone who loved romance, and he wasn’t.” 

 “i see.” haechan hesitates. there was something about the way you talked about mark that unsettled him, but he couldn’t pinpoint what it was. “do you think you could get back together with him?” 

“trying to pass me off onto someone else already?” you don’t pick up on the shift in haechan’s tone, and mistake it for genuine curiosity. “i guess i could. maybe after these years apart he wants something romantic too.” 

although the morning was warm, haechan felt a sense of cold sweep through him. he tries to brush it off. “well, thank your lucky stars you have me now” 

looking over at him, his hair falling slightly over his eyes, the troubled crease of his brow, your thoughts of mark immediately clear. “thank you,” you say, a little too emotionally for the early morning and this car ride. 

he looks over at you, and his chest eases up at the warmth in your eyes. “don’t mention it,” he says, and smiling at you is the easiest thing in the world.

x

the line for popcorn at the movies had stopped moving. fidgeting from the cold of the cinema, you wrap your arms around yourself as haechan stands by you, scrolling on his phone for a deal that he saw for a discounted drink combo. one arm slung casually over your shoulders, you lean into his touch just a little. 

today he was helping you out by taking you for a date. specifically, the classic dinner and a movie idea that has been long since rendered obsolete, but you had never had a chance to do. standing in line, his fingertips brushing your shoulder, you recall how he had showed up 5 minutes early outside your apartment, holding a small bouquet of flowers, and doing the thing where he flicked his fingers to splay out the two movie tickets he had ordered early on. the two of you had dinner at a nice italian restaurant, and he had offered to pay but you insisted, since you were technically making him do all of this. 

“are you cold?” drawing you out of your thoughts, you turn to see haechan, concern causing his eyebrows to furrow and his heart-shaped lips to form a slight pout. “why didn’t you bring a jacket? you knew we were going to watch a movie.” 

the line moves forward by a fraction of an inch, and you take a step forward, haechan now standing slightly behind you. “i completely forgot,” you whined. “i just haven’t watched a movie at the cinema in a while.” 

haechan bites back a smile, and slots his phone into his back pocket. the arm that is slung over your shoulder drops to your waist, while his other comes to circle around you from behind, and before you know it he’s pressed up against your back. you can feel the heat of his skin even with the thick hoodie he’s wearing over. dropping his head onto your shoulder, you feel him smile against your neck. “there,” he whispers. “now you won’t be cold anymore.” 

trying to steady your nerves, you stare resolutely ahead. “couldn’t have just given me your jacket like a normal person?” 

he shakes his head cutely, his soft hair tickling your jaw. “nope.” 

you make sure your voice stays resolutely calm. “then what will we do during the movie? you’ll be sitting next to me.” 

the line moves forward and haechan straightens, but his arms never leave your side. “guess you’ll have to hold on tight.”

and so you do. he ends up draping the hoodie over you during the movie, and he clings onto your arm, head resting on your shoulder. you hold on after the movie when he drops you off at home, grabbing onto his arm to steady yourself getting out of his car.

you hold on when he takes you for the next date at the amusement park; and when he tilts your chin upwards to press a kiss at the corner of your lips, your top-of-the-ferris-wheel moment,  you squeeze his hands in yours and move so your lips slot against his. you tell him with your smile that it’s alright. 

you hold on to him through your dates to the local aquarium, and to the beach. you let him pull you close as he drags you around the mall window-shopping, and as he guides you through clubs and restaurants. 

and if some part of you gets scared that it might be getting too real, if some part of you feels a little hurt whenever he brings up the list or when he removes your hand from his, you ignore it as best you can. 

x

“thanks for inviting me to this event,” you whisper, as you step into the doorway of the mansion, which really looks like a castle from the level of grandeur that meets your eyes. a man steps forward to take your coat, and you feel giddy. 

“nah, sorry for stealing you away on some random summer night.” haechan smiles, and you feel a tug in your heart. in his suit, he looks like he belongs here with all this finery, the slopes of his shoulders and the slight cinch of the waist looking elegant under the chandeliers, the rings scattered on his hands catching the light in pretty ways. “besides, it’s all part of the experience, isn’t it?” 

right. kissing and fireworks. trying to disguise the squeezing feeling in your chest, you smile back. “why do you keep bringing that up?” 

“do you not want me to?” there’s something careful about the way he looks at you. 

“i don’t.” you say, quietly. 

“then i won’t.” he extends an arm for you to take. “tonight you’ll just be my date.” and with your heart thundering up your throat, he steers you into the warmth of the room.

you spend most of the night in the same giddy spiral of emotions, as he twirls you on the dance floor expertly, and winces dramatically when you step on his toes. your hands never leave each others’ grasps, as you stand around tables eating finger-food and drinking champagne. as the party went on, he introduced you through holding up your clasped palms to each of his parent’s friends, earning a lot of cooing and fussing about. 

“haechan, how well you’ve grown up!” 

“is this your girlfriend? haechan is so lucky to be with such a beautiful girl like you.” 

“haechan! come say hello to the kids, they miss you!” 

“this won’t take long,” he mumbles sadly to you, as an aunt of his insists he meet his cousins upstairs. “i’ll meet you at the bar, okay?” 

“okay,” you smile, inwardly dying at the idea of haechan interacting with kids. as if he couldn’t get infinitely cuter. “have fun!” 

“don’t let someone steal my date away,” he warns, as he’s pulled away. “i mean it – you’re mine tonight.” 

you’re mine. you feel like you’re floating on a cloud as you make your way to the bar, you’re sure you’re at least swaying on your feet. 

“woah.” a hand reaches out to steady you, helping you settle into a seat. “too much champagne?” 

you gape at the man who’s sitting next to you now. “mark?” 

fidgeting with the collar of his suit and looking very uncomfortable, he nods in greeting. “didn’t know you were coming to this thing.” 

you look at him. he had gotten a haircut recently. but besides that in terms of appearance, he looked just as he did when the two of you were together, except for the fact that something about his demeanor was off. he looked tired, and there was something weary about his posture that hadn’t been there before. 

“i was invited,” you tell him. “how are you here?” 

“one of the ladies there is my aunt.” he pauses. “you’ve never met her. are you enjoying yourself?”

you think back to haechan’s smile as he sways underneath the lights, holding your hips. before you know it, you’re smiling too. “it’s a nice night. this place is really beautiful.” 

mark studies you for a moment.  “how have you been?” 

“i’ve been alright.” you figure since there aren’t any hard feelings, you don’t have to make anything up as you would for an ex you were bitter over. mark was still a nice person, and he had been good to you in the right ways. 

“it’s summer, so i’ve been going out more i guess. how about you?”

“i’ve been alright.” he downs his glass of white wine and signals for another one in a fluid motion, and you raise your eyebrows. shaking his head, he changes his answer. 

“okay, things could be better.” 

“why?” 

“just been feeling a little lonely.” 

you are so taken aback, that you let out a laugh. he looks at you, affronted, and somehow the furrow of his eyebrows makes you laugh even harder. 

“i’m sorry,” you calm yourself down. “i wasn’t laughing at you, not really. it’s just…” you take a sip of your own drink. “i was in the exact same situation say a few months ago.” at his bewildered expression, you gesture. “please continue, though.”

mark shrugs and goes along with it. “i guess i was just realizing that i wasn’t as happy as i could be. there were times where i would be – i don’t know, having dinner, and i’d just think ‘damn. really wish i had someone with me right now.’ you know?” 

“i do know.” you nod. “it’s crazy we’re experiencing the same thing, after, you know, so many years.” 

“yeah.” he looks at you carefully. “crazy.” 

“hey baby.” 

a hand slides possessively around your waist, and you jump. the next thing you know, a pair of lips are kissing their way down your neck, as another hand snakes its way around you until you are fully in their embrace. craning your head up, you already know who you’re going to see.

“hi haechan,” you say breathlessly. 

“sorry for leaving you for so long,” he murmurs, intermittently, as he continues to plant wet kisses on your neck. “the kids were going crazy.” 

feeling like you were about to burn up into a crumble of ashes, you splutter out, “we have company.” 

pulling away from you, haechan turns and stares at mark, coldly. “sorry, i didn’t notice.” his hand still draped over you, you can almost hear the forced normalcy in his voice when he asks, “and you are…?” 

“mark,” mark supplies, awkwardly fidgeting with the coaster under his glass. 

looking up at him, you see a flash of something race through haechan’s eyes, as he tightens his hold on you. “mark. well, hello, and goodbye.” 

he pulls you to your feet, and you set down your drink hurriedly and latch onto his arm. “say goodbye to mark, sweetheart.” 

“bye mark. things will get better, i’m sure of it,” you say, still left breathless by the turn of events. 

raising his eyebrows, he turns back to the bar. “see you around y/n.” 

“i don’t think so,” haechan chirps brightly, before tugging you away and past the throes of people, down a narrow hallway that was deserted. 

“haechan, what are you doing?” 

even in the dim lit of the hall, you can see his glower. “what were you talking to mark about?” 

“i don’t know…” you shake your head, still a bit lost. “just about life, i guess.” 

“did he ask to get back together with you?” he blurts out, suddenly. 

“what? no!” you splutter. 

“i heard him say he was lonely. who the fuck says that to their ex unless they want to get back together?” 

you take the hard look in his eyes. hesitantly, you call out. “haechan?” 

he huffs. 

“he didn’t want to get back together, i promise.” he looks at you, warily. “and even if he did, i wouldn’t want to get back together with him.” 

it is almost laughable how quickly his expression clears. 

“you wouldn’t?” 

“i wouldn’t,” you confirm. “i told you, i’m completely over it.” 

“okay,” he sighs, in something that sounds like relief. and before you could even register it, he pulls you into a hug, crushing you against him. “sorry, i guess i got nervous.” 

“that’s alright,” you whisper, wrapping your arms around him firmly, feeling his heartbeat against your ears, and you smile when you realise it’s racing. 

“hey it’s almost midnight,” he dips down to whisper into your hear. “do you want to go to the balcony to watch the fireworks?” as you nod, he leads you gently away from the corridor and through a set of glass doors, stepping out onto a beautiful balcony. the night air smells like honey and roses, and the sky is clear and bright with moonlight.  

you feel a tug at your fingertips, and you look to your side to find him smiling as he looks up. 

“what are you smiling about?” 

he hums. “i’m smiling about the fact that my date is the prettiest girl at the party.” 

you pretend to wrinkle your nose, and use your free hand to hit him on the shoulder. “corny.” 

“you love it.” 

and because it’s been weeks, and haechan is slowly making a home in your heart, you decide you need to at least start acknowledging the honest truth of the matter, so you don’t say anything. 

as the night sky fills with fireworks and the people inside the party cheer, he turns to hold your face in his hands, the tenderness and warmth in his eyes unparalleled by the lights in the sky. 

you tilt your face up to kiss him, and as his arms fall to your waist, with a jolt you remember his voice at the bar. hey baby. the term of endearment swirls in your chest, and makes you drape your arms around his shoulders and pull him just a little closer. the two of you don’t break apart for what feels like hours, as you lose yourself in the feeling of his soft lips on yours, the brush of your noses, and the slight tremble of his fingertips on your cheeks. it feels and tastes as real as you have ever known. 

x

except it’s not real. and you can’t ignore it. so you avoid it. 

keeping busy and finally diving into all the things you wanted to do for the summer was your only way of telling haechan you couldn’t make it for the next ‘date’, or the next. you can tell he’s a little confused, but since the whole thing was your idea, he’s trying his best to respect whatever pace you’re deciding to go with. you push it all away, and you try to live life without thinking of him and his hands, the way he closes his eyes in bliss when the sunlight makes his skin glow, the way his hair looks after he tugs his hoodie off, and the feel of his lips when he presses his face into the crook of your neck when he thinks you’re not paying attention. 

it’s late. you think you’ve definitely just had the longest day you’ve had all summer, running errands all around the city. all you wanted to do was lie in bed and put on a show that you could fall asleep to. lazily changing into your favorite pajamas, you set up your laptop on your bed, and you’re just about to press play when your phone screen lit up the dark room. 

jaem: wru

one of jaemin’s summer house parties must’ve been today. you were so tired that you forgot. 

y/n: too tired :( i don’t think i’ll go sorry

jaem: haechan needs you

you’re sure your heart actually stops beating for a second. haechan needs you. and just like that, your imagination kicks into overdrive, wondering what he could possibly need you for. 

holding your breath, you watch the three dots on your screen indicating jaemin typing for what seems like ages before your phone buzzes again. 

jaem: super hammered needs u to drive him home lol sry my bad that sounded weird

you let out a sigh of relief, but you can’t shake the adrenaline that rushed into you when you first saw the message.

y/n: can’t you let him crash at your place 

jaem: he won’t stop ASKING for u it’s driving everyone crazy 

a voice message comes through. he plays it, and it’s someone breathing really heavily. you’re beginning to wonder if jaemin sent this on accident, when haechan’s voice, low and husky from the alcohol, murmurs through the phone. 

“y/n can you hear me? i wanna….wanna see you… please…i’ll do anything…” 

“YOU’RE NOT BEING KIDNAPPED,” jaemin’s voice rings out, his words a little slurred but doing nothing to conceal the impatience in his tone. “GET A GRIP MAN.” 

“PLEAAAAASE”, he raises his voice in an impressive whine, and you wince in second-hand embarrassment because you’re sure the entire living room must have heard that. “I MISS YOU.” 

the voice message ends.

jaem: what a loser but yeah you get the gist of it

y/n: okay i’m on the way. can you get him on the phone? 

jaem: do it yourself

x

on the drive there, you do call haechan. 

he picks up halfway through the first ring of the phone. “y/n?”

“hi haechan. i’m on the way.” 

“don’t lie to me,” he mumbles. “honk your car horn.” 

“i’m not going to do that!,” you hiss, as if he were right here with you. “there are cars around.” 

“liar,” he breathes. there’s a pause, and when you next speak you’re startled to hear his voice wobble. “liar. you’re not coming to get m-” 

you slam your palm into your car horn, feeling your cheeks burn. 

on the other end, he sniffles, and you presume he’s nodding at you. “okay. stay safe.” 

“i will.” you hesitate. “is everything okay? did something happen at the party? are you hurt?”

he sighs over the phone. “everything is not okay,” he sniffles again, “because you’re not here.” 

you swallow hard. you want to take a hand off the wheel and slap yourself, because you need to remember that he’s not himself right now, and he might regret this all in the morning. you calm yourself down before responding as lightly as you can. “haechan i’ll be there any minute now, okay? but you have to tell me if something happened and if you want to talk about it.” 

he breathes heavily into the receiver. eventually, he mumbles out, “nothing happened.” shuffling, a pause, and then… “just miss you that’s all. i want to do more…more experience-y stuff with you.” more to himself than to you, he rambles on. “we’re falling behind you know. how are we going to finish this by the end of summer?” 

a shot of pain twists at your guts, and you feel nauseous. so he really just wants to get all of this over and done with. you want to stop the car so you can throw up. you want to turn it back around. you’re suddenly regretting dropping everything just because he wanted to see you, because if this was why… 

you keep driving on autopilot. the call has gone silent, but you can hear haechan breathing on the other end, and it’s driving you mad. you have no right to yell at him, but you almost do. 

when you pull up at jaemin’s driveway, you clear your throat. your voice controlled, you say, “i’m here now. you want me to come in and get you?” 

“okay. i’m in the 1st floor bathroom.” 

x

the front door swings open, and you’re met with jaemin. at first, you think he’s going to tell you off for taking so long, but something in your face causes the words to die in his throat. 

“y/n?” he asks. “are you okay?” 

and before you know it, you’re wrapped in his arms in a hug and you’re bawling like you hadn’t for months. the built up pressure of avoiding haechan, of having to get into character as his girlfriend and having to get out of character just as often, and all your confusion at your feelings leave you sobbing and you just can’t stop. jaemin’s running his hands down your back and making soft, soothing noises. 

you realise that you just really, really, missed your best friend. 

“i’m s-sorry,” you choke out. “i haven’t come round to see you ever since the start of s-summer.” 

“it’s okay,” he shakes his head, and leans back to look at you, wiping tears off your face gently. “we’ve both been busy.” 

but you shake your head. “i really need to talk to you. i need your opinion in my life.” 

he laughs at that. “i never thought i’d hear you say that.” 

you just go back to hugging him as you slowly calm down, and the constricting feeling in your chest eases. but after a moment, your phone buzzes in your pocket, and when you check it you see that haechan has spammed your text messages with a bunch of ‘?????????’ and sad faces. 

jaemin, ever the nosiest person in the room, is looking at your phone with a frown. “you never told me you started dating haechan, by the way.” 

ignoring the twist in your stomach, you shake your head. “that’s because i’m not.” jaemin raises his eyebrows, and you elaborate. “we’re just doing coupley things. for the experience.” 

narrowing his eyes because he knows you way too well, jaemin asks, “was this something you decided in the middle of the night? it’s sounding very classic middle-of-the-night-y/n ….” but at the look of frustration on your face, he immediately drops it. “okay, okay. not now. i get it.” 

“y/n? are you here?”

you still, as haechan shuffles into view. he squints, until he confirms that it’s you, and suddenly he’s rushing towards you giddily and unsteadily, his socked feet slipping and sliding on the floor of the hallway until hes collapsed in your arms. 

and there it is: his damn face in your neck again.

“wondered where you were, angel” you feel his hot breath against the base of your neck, and shivers shoot down your spine. “can i call you that? is it allowed?” 

exchanging glances with you, seeing how this was slowly making you go insane, jaemin reaches out hesitantly to pry him off of you. “haechan, maybe it’s best if you stay at my place tonight-” 

but haechan is quick to shrug him off, and with an agility that he shouldn’t be capable of in his state he pivots behind you and clings onto your back. his face once again buried in your neck. 

“don’t wanna,” he shakes his head vigorously. “wanna stay with y/n.” 

“y/n doesn’t want to stay with you,” jaemin starts forward again, making eye contact with you as he confirms, “right, y/n?” 

haechan spins you around in his hold, with the most wounded expression you’ve ever seen from him, or anyone for that matter. his eyes filling with tears, his cheeks flushed and his lip wobbling in an alarming way, he chokes out, “you d-don’t want…to s-stay…with me?” 

“i do, i do.” you assure him, trying to soothe him by drawing circles on his back with your thumb as he bites back sobs. over haechan’s back, you can see jaemin sigh defeatedly. “what am i supposed to do, he’s about to cry!” you hiss at him.

“he can cry on cue,” jaemin mouths. 

pause. what?

you look back at haechan’s face, but every expression seems to be genuine: his bottom lip caught between his teeth and the tears shimmering in his lashes, his hands — which he barely seems to be aware of — caressing your sides nervously, as if afraid you were going to disappear into thin air. 

“haechan,” you start. “are you lying to me?” 

x

but that was the wrong thing to say. the better part of the next hour was spent trying to console a weeping and sobbing haechan on his knees, who would not stop clutching your waist and biting jaemin when he tried to pry him off of you. and then it was guiding him to your car, and another round of consoling as you assured him that no, you weren’t going to disappear as you were driving, and no, you could not drive one-handed so you could not hold his hand the entire way, but yes, he could put his hand on your thigh if he promised he wouldn’t do anything else. 

you end up reaching, and then driving away from haechan’s apartment, because he would not leave the car without you and you figured that you might as well get a good night’s sleep at your own home. and somehow, you end up digging out some of mark’s old clothes out from the back of your closet for him to wear. and now, you’re standing between his legs, brushing his teeth for him while he looks at you adoringly. 

he mumbles something intelligible, his mouth full of toothpaste foam, and you shake your head tiredly at him. 

“nuh-uh. rinse your mouth out first.” 

you hold the spare mug up to his mouth and his lips wrap around the rim of it obediently. turning to spit in the sink, he swivels back to face you, his arms never leaving your side. 

“i’m sorry.” he says, quietly. 

“it’s okay. i know you’d do the same for me,” you say, patiently, because it’s true. if you were drunk, haechan would definitely drop everything to make sure you were safe. 

that you were sure of, because that was just the kind of person he was. 

“no,” he tugs his bottom lip with his teeth again, looking nervous. “it’s not about that.” his arms remove themself from your waist and he wraps them around himself instead. all of a sudden, you’ve never felt colder. 

“what do you mean?” 

he doesn’t look at you in the eye when he answers. “sorry for bringing up our deal. that’s not why i miss you.” 

you think you could cry. “really?” he nods, but his eyes are still on the floor. “haechan…” you press. “look at me.” 

he looks up. he looks so pretty right there, his heart-shaped lips and moles scattered haphazardly over his cheeks and nose. 

“so why do you miss me?” you ask, hoping against hope. his lips part, and for a split second you think he’s going to lean forward and kiss you. 

but then his lips press together. he shakes his head. and again. and then he slides off the counter, brushes past you and out of the bathroom despite you calling his name. and when you break yourself out of your daze and walk, trembling slightly, to your bedroom, you see him tucked under the covers, fast asleep. 

x

“i still don't’ get this ‘quiet haechan’ thing you keep going on about,” jaemin chews thoughtfully on a forkful of salad. “but okay, i’ll bite.” 

you’re having lunch with jaemin for the first time in weeks. with nothing much going on in his life for the summer, him waving you off when you apologised again about not checking in with him, the two of you breezed past your usual topics and quickly moved on to the elephant in the room: you and your fake relationship with haechan. 

nervously, you pick at your fries. “do you think i should just tell him we can stop now?” 

jaemin shook his head. “that’s not the main problem.” ever the mom best friend, he takes a pause for dramatic effect before leaning in. “the main problem is that your catching feelings policy is completely shit.” 

you glare at him, but don’t manage to keep it up. he’s right. “you think i should ask him about that?” 

“of course.” jaemin shrugs. “but you could also just confess and see what happens.” at your mortified expression, he raises a hand to calm you down. “you never know until you try.” 

unwilling to address the fact that he assumed you were in love with haechan, and the fact that he was probably right, you argue back. “you’re the one who’s friends with the both of us. do you have any idea if he maybe likes me or not?” 

“i’m not telling you,” jaemin says, stubbornly. “you have to make the decision and accept the risks it comes with.” 

you put your head in your hands. “i really hate you sometimes.”

x 

as it turned out, ‘sometimes’ turned out to be occuring quite frequently, because jaemin seemed hell bent on getting you to talk to haechan, even if it was through the most roundabout ways. 

such as inviting the beach-house group of friends over for dinner the next day, just so you had a reason to talk to haechan. 

and that led you to where you were, currently, jaemin putting the cap back on his black marker as the words “ASK ABT CATCH FEELINGS POLICY” scrawled over your wrist and palm. 

“i’ll remember to ask him, i swear,” you say impatiently, trying to wriggle your arm out of his grasp, but jaemin was a man on a mission. 

“i don’t trust you,” he insists. “this way, even if you don’t bring it up, he’ll read it off your arm, and you will both talk it out.” finishing up with a few exclamation points, he caps his marker triumphantly. 

you’re about to head to the bathroom to wash it off, when haechan shuffles into the living room, and embarrassingly it’s as if your mind is wiped clean. 

between the night he slept over and now, the two of you had only seen each other once. he had called to apologize for bothering you the night of jaemin’s party, and you made plans to have lunch together, not dinner (because night time was always an emotional affair for the two of you, as evidenced in the past few weeks). 

sitting in the sun, staring at him while he talked, the two of you eating in semi-silence, was enough for you to realise that no matter what time of day it was you would always be a little too giddy over him. the two of you, in some sort of mutual agreement, had left it at that — him bidding you goodbye with a pat on the shoulder, of all things. 

and now, standing in front of you, his eyes just as confusing with their tenderness, you think that jaemin may be onto something. 

“so how can i help?” haechan looks around the room, his mind on the dinner. “do we have all the materials? or…” 

“everything’s in the kitchen, haechan,” you nod in the direction of the dining table. “i’ll show you.” 

haechan nods, more to himself than you. then, hesitantly, he starts, “y/n…” 

something had to give. but not now, not as you felt everything in you crashing down, your heart threatening to spill over at the edges just at the sight of him again. 

“we’re good.” you interrupt. “everything’s going to be okay, haechan.” 

he bites his lip. 

“it will be,” you insist. “we’ll talk later, okay?” 

his expression clears a little at that. “okay.” 

x

in the car on the way home, jaemin insisting haechan drive you, it begins to drizzle slightly. after the moment from just now, the two of you had almost been able to go back to normal, working side by side and sitting together during dinner. topics opening up between you, discussing what happened in the days you hadn’t seen each other. things were comfortable, and you almost felt like you could go back to ignoring the aching feeling in your chest. 

it slowly starts to end when the car peels into the street in front of your apartment. the two of you go quiet, and haechan’s body is tense as he looks straight ahead.

you realise you hadn’t even brought up what you had meant to say. 

“do you…maybe…want to come inside?” you suggest. “we could watch a movie?”

“it’s late.” he says, almost automatically. he looks over at you, and you look so hesitant and sad. fuck. something stirs inside his chest, and suddenly he wants to do anything to take that look away from your face. 

“i mean, i could. just for a movie.” 

you smile, and haechan relaxes.

x

cozied up on your bed, haechan in a pair of sweats he had left over some other time, you slump against him as your eyes flicker between watching the movie on your laptop screen, and watching him. something about the way things were going tonight told you this might be the last time you could be with him like this, and you wanted to cherish it while you could. 

the music swells in the random drama film you picked, and you are feeling that feeling again, the one that you get when you’re about to spill your soul out, and even with haechan’s warmth against you — his arm tucked into your waist and your head resting against his chest, the reality that he wasn’t yours was crashing down all the walls in your heart. 

he realises you’re crying before you do, as he registers the jagged breathing from your chest, and the soft sounds you’re making. 

“y/n? what’s wrong?” 

“i-i, i just.” you breathe, and your sobs wreck through your words, each one stabbing painfully at his chest. “i’m just s-so tired of not h-having someone who loves me that much.” 

running a hand up and down your back, haechan makes soft cooing noises as you bury your face in his chest. “okay. so watching this film was a baaaad idea.” 

you’re muffled sobs soak through his hoodie, and you press it closer to your face because it smells safe and it smells like him. your emotions running away from you, you splutter out, “maybe i’ll never find s-someone. maybe i just have to deal w-with it. these experiences are just t-temporary fixes, aren’t they? i’ll never find someone who l-loves me. i mean, right now i am so in love with you and you don’t even seem to c-care —” 

haechan stills. he sits there, motionless, you still quivering in his arms, as his brain kicks into overdrive. 

you’re in love with him? 

incoherent, you’re still talking on and on, and suddenly he knows it isn’t something he should be hearing. 

“shut up.” he says, quietly, but you ignore him and ramble on. “shut up,” he insists. 

“you d-don’t want me,” you sob, and somewhere in the back of your mind you know you’ll be embarrassed about this later, but for now all you could focus on was the fact that haechan wasn’t reacting because he was probably completely disgusted at the idea of even being with you. “i-i started to ignore you because it was too difficult to be around you, and suddenly you show up drunk and asking for me, and then you just act like nothing happened and i have the feeling that i’ll never see you again-”

“fuck it,” he breathes, and suddenly he’s holding your face in his hands, moving you away from his chest. “shut up, y/n. please.” and then he is kissing you, his mouth moving on yours, begging you to understand. you think he’s drawing the breath straight from your lungs, and you’re sure your lips will bruise, but you kiss him back with even more fervor, settling your weight on his lap as you lean into him, and he groans. 

breaking away from you, breathing heavily, he reaches for your hands and begins to press kisses to your knuckles, trying to ease you. 

“haechan…” you start, because everything is so confusing to you at this moment. “don’t-you don’t mean it-”

“what’s this?” he interrupts, as he flips your palm up, raking the sleeves of your hoodie upwards so the words “ASK ABT CATCH FEELINGS POLICY!!!!!”, smudged but unmistakable, could be read even in the dim room. 

“oh, y/n…” he whispers, reaching to stroke your cheek. leaning into his palm, completely lost in his touch, you mumble on. 

“jaemin said our catching feelings policy was shit…” you blurt out. “and i agree. i want a new one. i want to be allowed to love you.” 

gently, haechan continues to whisper to you. “you’re the one making the rules.” trembling, his arms wrap around you, and he rocks you in his hold tenderly. “you’ve always been the one making the rules. i would do anything you told me to. i would love you if you asked.” 

you don’t understand any of the words he’s saying. “no,” you raise your voice a little louder, even though he’s still speaking in that low voice. “you don’t want me.” your eyes fill with tears, you can see it now: he’s comforting you, he’s lying to you because you’re crying, and haechan is nothing but good to you, a kindness and gentleness in everything he does that you just know you’ll never feel again. 

“y/n that’s not true,” he shakes his head resolutely. “please believe me.” 

his voice is patient and soothing, and it’s that tone which slowly calms you down. the gentle rhythm of his hands tracing circles on your arms allowing you to breathe easier, and relax a little in his hold to be able to really look at him. and it’s the worry in his eyes, and softness in the way he’s looking at you which makes something click into place in your head. 

and so what if everything in your relationship with him was supposed to be fake — the dates, the moments he’s introduced you as his girlfriend. everything else in between had started to be real for you — the kisses, the time you told him not to mention the deal or the list or the experience at all and so he didn’t, brushing his teeth for him as he sat on the counter, skin brushing against yours.

and so what if it was real for him too — the times where he’s held your hand or pulled you close when you weren’t paying attention, the nights on the drive back when he would look over at you incessantly?

untangling yourself from him, you reach for the notebook and pen you keep on your nightstand.  he doesn’t stop you, tilting his head in confusion. 

“what are you doing?” 

holding it out to him, your heart hammering in your chest, you gesture for him to take it. “write me something i can read when i wake up. it’s so i have…,” you take a breath. “it’s so i have proof that it’s real.”

something stirs in haechan’s chest. taking the pen in his hands, he begins to scrawl on the notebook, looking up at you as he’s writing. 

“if you still feel the same way, call me as soon as possible, okay?” 

“okay,” you promise, breathlessly. 

the yearning in your eyes is driving him crazy. guiltily, he reaches for you again, and slots his lips in yours, holding you tightly against him. as if kissing you was the last thing he would ever get to do. 

you have half a mind to move into his lap, wrap your legs around his waist and keep him with you forever, but already he pries your hands away from him and heads for the door, reluctance making his movements disjointed and shaky. 

“go to sleep, y/n.” he says, gently. “i’ll see you soon.” 

and with that, he’s gone, and you’re left on your bed, the note at your bedside burning a hole into your table. shutting away your laptop, you curl up under the covers, and somewhere in your mind you pray that the light of day doesn’t treat you too harshly.  

x

dear y/n, 

last night you told me that you were in love with me. i don’t know if it was the loneliness, or even if it was too late at night for you to be thinking straight. all i know is that i love you too. i didn’t think you would want me unless we were playing pretend. but now i can’t look at you without realising i am completely fucking in love with you. i’m sorry that you never knew, and that somehow i messed up to the point where you didn’t believe me when i told you. if you wake up tomorrow and you still want me, call me. i will do everything with you again if it means it’ll be real. 

love, haechan

x 

it’s a little difficult to be around your friend group when they’re all like this. 

summer was drawing to a close, the optimism at the start and the feeling of endless days under the sun slowly fading to a blistering heat, which then slowly tapered out into a hazy sense of being in limbo. soon the seasons would change, the days get shorter and the nights grow longer, the loneliest parts of the year stretching out before everyone. the sense that this had been another summer of wasted potential, the sense of taking a deep breath before the dive, of holding love close to one’s heart and hoping it’s enough to last through the winter, hanging in the air.

you had walked over to jaemin’s apartment for breakfast with everyone, practicing the entire way. you were going to tell haechan you wanted to talk to him. pull him away from the group, and talk to him in a separate room. the letter from last night, from him, seeming to burn right through your palms, words you wanted to echo right back at him. 

but when you opened the door, you realise he wasn’t there. instead, everyone else sat slumped around the living room, prodding at various snacks and cans, and waving at you lazily as you picked your way through them, looking for the familiar mop of brown hair and eyes you had come to love. 

“jaemin,” you make your way to your friend, who’s crumpled into the couch himself. 

“hey y/n,” he smiles at you easily. “how did it go yesterday?” 

“well it’s still going,” you admit. “where’s haechan?” 

jaemin furrows his brow. “i swear he just arrived. i think he said something about getting us breakfast.” 

your body moves before you can think to, winding through the room and carrying you towards the front door and out into the driveway. and there it is — his car, slowing backing out. and through the window you can see him, looking over his shoulder, the familiar twist of his neck you knew so well. the arm he would throw over the passenger seat. 

you call out to him, and by some miracle he hears you. he stops the car jerkily, and you rush towards him. he had just barely gotten out of the car when you fall into his arms — you think you never want to be separated from him again. 

squeezing you against his chest, he murmurs next to your ear. “you read my message?” you nod. “i meant every word,” he says, kissing the crown of your head. “i know we’ve done this all backwards. really sometimes i just wish i could go back and ask you out like i should have done.” 

“i don’t regret it,” you tell him truthfully. stepping back from his hold, you interlock his hands with yours, relishing the familiar feeling. “i don’t regret any of the things we did.” 

“me neither.” he hesitates. “actually…maybe i regret getting drunk at jaemin’s party.” he shuffles his feet. “i missed you a lot, and i feel like i should have just told you then.” 

“maybe.” pause. “or you should tell me again now, because i don’t think i’ve heard you say it.” and it’s something that’s a little teasing, because at this point you know he loves you just as much as you love him, but haechan takes it so seriously — straightening up, he holds your hands against his chest, looking deep into your eyes. you feel a little out of breath from the way he’s looking at you. 

“i’m really sorry,” he starts. “for everything. i love you so much. everything i ever told you, every time we’ve touched, it was real for me.” 

“and if i believe you?” 

he smiles. and it’s a look you know so well, the familiarity in reading his expressions and talking to him without words hitting you full force. 

“just tell me you love me too,” he says, softly. “not because it’s at night, and you’re feeling lonely, and not while you’re crying. was it real for you too?”

and even though you’re soon interrupted by jaemin, who urges the two of you to go get breakfast together. even though the two of you keep making lists of places you want to go, and things which feel like love to you — haechan presenting you with music to dance in the kitchen to, afternoons spent restaurant hopping and nights spent driving to look at the ocean and sit under the stars. even as winter eventually rolls around, and the two of you bundle yourselves up in the apartment, his cheeks perpetually a shade of red which makes you want to kiss him —

neither of you forget the way it all started. that first time he held your hand in the middle of the kitchen and warmed you all the way through.  because everything was real. and in a way, it always had been.

---

allover lee haechan

↳ paring ⇹ nct - lee haechan x reader

↳ genre ⇹ angst | enemies to lovers!au

↳ word count ⇹ 8k

↳ contains ⇹ summer vibes, sexual tension, internalized hatred, emotional confusion, and painful silences

↳ summary ⇹ haechan drove you mad, so much that when you kissed him everything made sense

↳ author’s note ⇹ haechan just is the enemies to lovers trope, okay?

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hi !! I'm new to following you. I read some of your stories and I really love how the way you write. especially the "perfect present". just wanted to ask if you could write a smut about Renjun again. I really love your writing.

coffee shop date | h.rj

❯ summary: After being stood up for a date several times at the small coffee shop that your friend-of-a-friend Renjun works at, he sits down with you to keep you company after closing hours. But talking isn’t exactly what he has in mind.

❯ pairings: renjun x fem!reader

❯ genre: coffee shop!au, smut, fluff, slight angst.

❯ words: 3.1k

❯ tags: 18+ minors dni!, smut, fluff, oral sex (fem!receiving), unprotected sex (wrap it up), semi public sex, brief hair pulling, renjun is super sweet, brief mention of marking, lots of kissing, reader uses she/her pronouns, reader gets stood up so renjun makes her feel better.

“Still a no-show?”

His words snap you out of the trance you had been put in by the buzzing of the coffee machines and the gentle clinking of porcelain cups.

“Huh?” You blink at him, then remember the reason you’re even here in the first place. “Oh, no. I mean, yeah. Still a no-show.” 

Renjun stands leaned over at the counter, scribbling circles on a little notepad by the cash register.

“It’s almost closing time,” he looks down at his wristwatch, “So unless he comes sprinting in the next 30 seconds, I think his time is up. What is this, the third time?” 

“Well, the first time it was an actual emergency, so I don’t think I should count that one”, you state. 

You had matched with a guy on Tinder who seemed really keen on meeting you, but he had yet to actually show up to any of your scheduled coffee dates. The first time, he had ended up in the ER for a ligament injury, and he had sent photos from the hospital explaining that he was really sorry. The other two times seemed to have just been unfortunate coincidences.  

Still, you weren’t really the busy bee of the century, so the long days at the coffee shop hadn’t been too torturous. As head barista, Renjun had the privilege to witness all three instances of you spending the majority of your day sitting in his coffee shop, patiently waiting for someone that would never show up.

Renjun scrunches his nose, giving you an amused sceptical face.

“You know what, let’s give him one last chance”, he suggests. “I’m not in a rush to close up, let’s give him the chance to do the last-minute chase down thing you see in the movies.”

He rips the cap off of a large marker pen with his teeth and starts writing something on the notebook paper. When he finishes, he recaps the marker and dramatically unveils his masterpiece to you.

《CLOSED FOR TODAY, UNLESS YOUR NAME IS JENO AND YOU’RE LATE FOR A VERY IMPORTANT TINDER DATE (PLEASE YELL VERY LOUDLY AND WE’LL LET YOU IN.)》

You roll your eyes in a smile whilst Renjun pulls the blinds shut and tapes the handmade sign on the outside of the door. After locking the door, he plops down on the chair next to you, before immediately shooting back up on his feet. 

“Want anything to drink?” He asks. 

You look down at your long-empty latte mug, and slosh around the tiny bit of foam left at the bottom. “I don’t think I should have any more caffeine today.” 

He raises his hands in an “ok”-sign and disappears behind the coffee bar counter for a short while.

The reason you were even in this coffee shop in particular was because Renjun and you had a mutual friend who swore by this location being the very best place for first dates. But now that you had spent some time here, you seriously doubted the first date part.

Instead, you were pretty sure that the real magic was Renjun’s way to light up the place with good vibes. During your long hours here, you had never once seen anyone leave without a smile or at least a smirk on their face. Even when the newly hired barista got an order slightly wrong at times, Renjun’s way of interacting with customers was just too sincere and charming to leave anyone upset. 

He comes back with a coffee cup for himself and a plate of cookies and sits down. “Leftovers”, he says. “Would be a shame to throw them out.” 

You grab one gratefully.

“So, this Jeno guy, what makes him so special anyway?” Renjun asks between sips. You furrow your brow in thought for a few seconds before replying.

“I don’t actually know an awful lot about him. He seems very driven, and confident. I guess it sort of flatters me that he would think of me as worthy of his attention”, you reply, your words sounding a bit more pathetic than you intended. 

Renjun chuckles. “You’re kidding, right? I’ve seen several people staring at you like you’re their blushing bride.” 

“You don’t have to lie to make me feel better.” 

He shakes his head — offended that you think he would even lie to you. 

“You know, Jisung, the delivery guy?” He asks and you nod. 

“I’ve had to unload the coffee bean deliveries myself for the last two weeks because when he does it, the guy ends up drooling like a zombie whenever he sees you. You’re quite the chore to hang out with, you know?” He pauses for a split second before adding, “No, sorry, that came out wrong. I didn’t mean you were a bother, but you for sure don’t have a shortage of suiters.”

You look down at your hands holding the cookie and chew slowly in thought. You knew you weren’t a complete lost cause or anything, but you had never really noticed anyone straight up ogling you in public. 

“Well, I know I’m not the best at accepting compliments, but that still sounds like some grossly exaggerated bullshit, Jun.”

His smile widens and he lets out a scoffing chuckle. He lowers his face and tilts his head with searching, focused eyes to coax you to make eye contact with him again. 

It works.

“Hey”, he begins, with his eyebrows raised in a smug but caring expression. “You’re pretty, okay?” 

Your instant reflex is to scrunch your face up in a cringing reaction. 

“No, no, no, no, no, none of that,” he objects. 

You try your best to hold eye contact and not squirm when he repeats himself. 

“You’re pretty. You’re a very pretty girl.” He dramatically grabs your face with both of his hands and shakes you gently for comedic effect. “You’re a nice, sweet, person. You’re hot, and this Jeno guy can get screwed because he doesn’t know what he’s missing.” 

You swallow unwillingly hard. Renjun’s facial expression fades from an amused smile, to a more serious stare, and then into a confident smirk.

“You’re adorable”, he begins. He gently kisses your forehead, his hands still placed on the sides of your face.

“And funny.” His lips now move to your nose, and he gives it a kiss, just like he did with your forehead.

“And so fucking hot”, he says breathily before touching his lips to yours. 

Your brain struggles to comprehend the sudden development of the situation, but luckily your body responds faster, kissing back and placing your hands over his own to signal your willingness.

The gentle pecks quickly turn to rougher kisses, and his fingers weave to make gentle circles in your hair. Your mouths meet and depart in unpredictable intervals repeatedly. Renjun’s right hand loosens its grip on your head and places itself on the small of your back, pulling you closer until you were practically seated on his lap.

His other hand wanders to your thigh, just barely creeping underneath the hem of your dress. The fact that he was so clear on what he wanted this to turn into, without being disrespectful, makes your stomach drop and your head dizzy. This entire experience felt like a rollercoaster where each turn was an exhilarating surprise.

You reach your hands up to his chest and unbutton the two buttons on his work uniform. You feel him smile in the kiss at your gesture of confirmation. His grip on your thigh tightens as he pulls you even closer to his own body. 

Renjun finally breaks the kiss by tilting his head down, pressing your foreheads together. His eyes focus intently on your torso, and he runs his hands gently along the contour of your body, slowly grazing the sides of your rib cage, waist, and down to your hips. His gaze rises back to your neckline, and using his thumbs, he softly hooks the shoulder straps of your dress and pulls them down your upper arms. He lets out a sigh at the sight of your bare chest as if he had held his breath in anticipation.

“Good lord”, he mutters.

His right-hand goes up to cup the side of your face again, roughly pulling you back into the kiss and entangling his fingers in your hair. His left-hand rests on your waist, with his grip tightening and loosening in the strands with each kiss. Your own hands wander up to the back of his neck, untying his apron and letting your fingers slip under his shirt by the nape of his neck, touching the bare skin underneath. 

You feel him shiver slightly as you run your hands over his neck and through his hair. The hand he has on the side of your face lets go and cups your ass instead, and although the skirt of your dress has partially slid in between, the small touch of his fingers against your ass still sends shockwaves through your body.

With his new grip on your body, he lifts you as he stands up in order to prop you up on the table you had been seated at. He has to bend down to continue the kiss, but seemingly refuses to break it for even a moment. Both his hands snake under your dress and grab the sides of your underwear to slide them down your legs with surprising finesse. Only after this does he break the kiss to look you in the eyes. 

Your lips are already kissed raw and you are both already a bit out of breath. He gently helps to pull your arms fully out of your shoulder straps, once again stopping to admire your breasts for a moment. With a quick glance at the front door to confirm what he already knew was true — it was locked and drawn shut, and no one was getting in — he crouches down to kiss your chest. 

He slowly trails down your upper body, leaving wet marks along the way. When he kneels all the way down, he stops to look up at your eyes. You knew your face was probably flushed and flustered looking, but it seemed that Renjun was after just that anyway — the man was visibly taken aback with every move you made.

He reaches behind you to scoot you right to the edge of the table. He maintains eye contact while he kisses your thigh; and only when his mouth reaches your pussy and he sees your head fall back in reaction does he break eye contact. 

He kisses tenderly, using his tongue in short strokes to stimulate your clit. His fingers begin to caress gentle circles on your thighs, and with each whimper you let out, you could feel him smile against your warm skin. 

Your fingers grip the side of the small round table. The coolness of the tabletop is in stark contrast to the warmth of Renjun’s mouth, which starts working harder and harder to keep up with your growing need for stimulation. 

Your mind feels split, half of it desperately wanting to process the unfathomable situation you were in, and half of it demanding that you don’t think at all and just let your body enjoy the hot guy on his knees in front of you who seemed so determined to make your soul leave your body altogether. 

The soft touch of Renjun’s tongue feels tortuous at this point. It had definitely been appreciated, but your body begged for more — it needed more. Harder. Rougher.

Your hand loosens from the side of the table and ends up raking through his hair. You have to stop yourself from accidentally yanking on it from pleasure. Your shaky body can no longer support itself, leaning back on one hand, and with a whimper, you fall back on your elbow. The motion knocks a teaspoon off the table onto the floor, and Renjun looks up with a surprised and amused face. 

He clearly expected a way more timid response to his bold advances from you, so he can’t help but let out a laugh. As he stands up, he leans over you and kisses his way back up your body, starting with your stomach, chest, and collarbones. His hands sneak under the arch of your back to lift you up to a sitting position. 

He smiles coyly, then lowers his head to your tits. His mouth latches onto your nipple and he sighs loudly. With his mouth still attached, his quick hands grab your ass and scoop you from the table. He turns on his feet, plopping you down on the main register counter next to the table you had just been dripping all over.

“More stable”, he mumbles between nibbles to your nipple.

In this new position, you can clearly feel his hard cock pressing against your inner thigh. You reach down to his waistline and grab his belt buckle, snaking the smooth leather out of the clasp. His hands quickly join to help you unfasten it. 

He pulls away from your chest and swiftly removes his shirt, tossing it on the ground and ruffling his hair. Your fingers hook the belt loops on his pants to pull him back closer to you. He gladly locks back with your lips into another rough kiss, while you fumble with his zipper.

Renjun shudders when your hand grazes his crotch. His usually calm and smug attitude had transitioned to an almost desperate, rough, stir-crazy demeanour at your touch. He grips your back hard to press you against him, throwing the skirt of your dress aside to reach his fingers down between your legs, rhythmically rubbing circles. His other hand travels all over you, seemingly not being able to settle on any single area to caress you. 

You were driving him literally wild; and it wasn’t until you pull on the waistband of his underwear that he pauses the kiss, appearing to sober up for a second. He looks you in the eyes with a serious expression, and you instinctively nod in response. 

You both help, pulling his underwear down, just far enough to expose him. Fully removing his pants was not even an option at this point, you didn’t have time for such nonsense. 

Renjun grips your thighs and pulls you even closer to the edge of the counter, violently resuming the kiss. You could feel his dick finally touch against your warm core and you sharply exhale at the sensation. He inserts himself slowly with surprising caution given the frenzy that so recently engulfed him.

The self control of this man must be astronomical.

When he reaches all the way in, he stays as still as possible until both of your tensed up muscles have time to relax. He inhales deeply through his teeth, and you let out a mixture of a moan and a sigh. 

Neither of you had time to waste though, so his smooth hip movements quickly pick up their pace. The feeling of him moving so slowly but sensually is so delicious, you almost start to feel delirious with each thrust. 

You wrap one arm around Renjun’s back, allowing him to hit even deeper inside of you. You try to steady yourself as best as you could on the countertop, but the moans and whimpers threatening to leave your lips win.

With heads perched on each other’s shoulders, the warm panting from both of your mouths line up nicely with the other’s ears. Renjun didn’t seem to be afraid to be as loud as you; and each moan from him strikes down on your brain like lightning. 

With two simple words, he finally delivers the final blow that has you clawing at his back and throwing your head back in ecstasy. 

“Holy shit”, he mutters against your ear.

You hug hard around him, your thighs tightening around his waist, as your inner walls contract around his cock. He knows better than to stop here though, and keeps pumping at the same pace for a few more seconds until you finish riding out your high and he has reached his own. 

You lean back on your hands as he helps steady you with one of his own hands on your back. You make eye contact again, both of you now looking with flushed faces and heaving chests.

Looking down on the counter, you notice his hand accidentally gripping and crumbling up the piece of notepad paper he had scrawled on earlier. He laughs, and softly kisses your chest and up your neck. He presses one more deep kiss on your lips, and then he finishes it off with a soft peck to your forehead.

“That Jeno guy is really missing out”, he chuckles, and you had to laugh along with him.

He gently pulls out of you and holds you close, slowly helping you pull the straps of your dress back on. He tucks himself away with a pull of his pants and buttons up, looking down at your wet thighs with a furrowed brow.

“Hold on”, he says deep in thought, walking behind the counter into the back room. A couple of locker door slams and then he’s back, pulling his shirt on and tossing you an item. You catch the piece of cloth between both hands. A pair of boxer briefs with the coffee shop’s logo printed on the elastic rim. 

You look at him with a questioning eyebrow and stifle a laugh.

“I know, I know, not exactly ideal, but I’m not letting you walk home in soaked panties. They’re brand new, I swear,” he smiles.

Yeah. Definitely not ideal, but the thoughtfulness warms you. You pull them on and hop off the counter. He walks up to you and grips your hips.

“Hey, uh… I’m working the late shift tomorrow too…” he hints. 

You couldn’t help but break into a grin.

“Really? I think I’m gonna need a lot of caffeine”, you reply, grabbing your bag and stuffing your drenched underwear inside.

“Well, you’re in luck, I know a guy!” He smirks and gestures theatrically at himself. He walks you over to the exit, and unlocks the front door for you, but still lingers in the doorway.

“… see you tomorrow?” he says, and you nod in response. 

Satisfied with that answer, he slowly closes the door and relocks it. You begin your walk home in a more upbeat and confident stride than you had when walking to the café earlier that afternoon. 

Rummaging around in your bag for your phone, you pull it out to two notifications. 

“Hey, so so sorry, I’m still at work!”

“How long is the coffee shop open?

You pause your step, hovering over Jeno’s profile picture with your thumb. You take a deep breath and click the button.

Blocked.