Slowburn Indeed But It's So Good...i'll Wait For The Part 2

slowburn indeed 😭 but it's so good...i'll wait for the part 2

Invisible String

Genre: friends to lovers; slow burn; smut

Pairings: Na Jaemin x Female Reader

Warnings: slow slow burn, lots of denial, mild sexual content (18+)

Notes: 25.4k words, song prompt was Invisible String by Taylor Swift

Synopsis: Na Jaemin was an old friend who never became anything else other than that, a friend. But after a series of life decisions that led you to move from your small town to the big city, you slowly find out that maybe, after all these years, Jaemin was never just a friend.

The building stood massively right in front of you, a thirty-storey condominium apartment where you somehow managed to snag a good deal in a unit owned by your friend who opted to rent out the place when she moved overseas. It didn't matter to you that you were a renting tenant in this beautiful residential building, you're just glad to have found a home and move in smoothly.

You made it on time inside before one of the elevators closed. You got in clutching your bag's handle, giddy and excited to get home and get ready for the housewarming party your friends organized. You almost didn't notice that you were inside with another guy. You were busy being all giggly while chatting with your bestfriend on your phone. You discreetly inspected his appearance, tall and slightly muscular. The height difference made it impossinle to get a good look of his face without being noticed so you didn't. You wondered if he was a resident or if he was visiting someone. You weren't even that interested about it, your mind just randomly went toward those thoughts.

It was when you shifted your focus in front of you that you realized you can clearly see your reflection on the elevator door. You moved your head slightly on one side to check you hair only to find the guy's face reflected in the mirror, smiling at you.

He looks like Na Jaemin, you thought and then the realization made you gasp. You turned to him, one hand over your mouth and your eyes wide in recognition.

Jaemin laughed at your reaction and lifted one hand for a small wave. "Hello."

"Wow, it really is you," you blurted out, a smile slowly creeping on your lips.

"You seem happy to see me," he teased, wiggling his eyebrows and making you chuckle.

"Are you kidding me? Of course I am. It's good to see you!" you said, gently nudging your elbow on his arm.

"You too," he beamed. "What brings you here? Judging how surprised you were to see me, I can't possibly be the reason."

There's the Jaemin you know, playful and acts egocentric for the sake of being funny. He was one of your friends from high school with whom you shared the rest of your teenage life with. You kept in touch through the years but you rarely met because of obvious reasons.

"I just moved here. Do you live here too? That's amazing."

"I know. It's a small world."

You both laughed and for a moment you couldn't think of anything else to say. You were just baffled by the coincidence.

"How about some drinks later tonight? We can catch up or something. That is if you don't already have plans," he offered and it felt as though a switch was flicked in your brain when you remembered something.

"Ah, that reminds me. You should come to my house warming. Donghyuck organized it. Didn't he tell you?"

Jaemin appeared to think before fishing his phone from his jean pocket. "Actually, he did two days ago. I just haven't read it yet."

You rolled your eyes. "You still ignore his texts?"

"Only because he nags all the time. If it's important, he can call me."

You laughed fondly, realizing how little has changed. "So are you coming?"

"Of course. I'd love to. Hyuck would drag me there anyway if I don't go."

"Knowing you live in the same building, I figured he would," you quipped.

Jaemin did not only agree to come to your housewarming, he also offered to help you prepare. Although you said he doesn't have to because your friends would be bringing most of the food, you didn't argue when he insisted. Jaemin had always been the type to extend a helping hand anytime, especially to his friends.

It was still early so you did a little cleaning even though there really isn't much to clean. Then you texted your bestfriend Heejin to let her know Jaemin is coming. She was excited to meet another friend of yours from high school and said they'll be over as soon as possible. Jaemin then arrived and you open up the door to him holding stacked containers of side dishes.

"Oh, wow. That's a lot," you commented, opening the door wider for him to pass through. "Thank you."

"I haven't prepared an actual housewarming gift so I brought you side dishes instead," he explained as he set the container to the dining table where you led him to. "They're new. My mom just brought them yesterday. And you can return the containers after you've finished everything."

"This is enough, Jaemin. You didn't have to so thank you. And I love your mom's cooking. I'm sure these will be great."

"I'm glad you like it," he said, leaning his waist against the countertop as he watch you arrange the dishes in your fridge.

"She talks about you all the time when I go there to eat," you added, smiling as you remembered having late night drinks and barbecue at their restaurant back in your town. "Always telling everyone about her handsome chef of a son."

A fond smile flashed on his lips. "She does that a lot."

You glanced back at him, mirroring his smile. "I know. It's adorable.

There is not much to cook since your friends were bringing food too and there's not much to talk about either because you're not really detached with one another. You and Jaemin were in a close circle friends so you would meet at least twice or thrice a year to catch up and share significant moments of your lives with each other. Not to mention Thanksgiving when you would all be in your hometown and you would make sure to meet up. As for Jaemin, the last time you saw each other was at your father's funeral five months ago, which was sad now that you were reminded of it.

"Have you been well?" he asked after a while. You had been sitting in your living room after you were done with the preparations, both focusing on your phones to pass the time. "How's home?"

"Well, as much as losing a loved one sucks, we went on with our lives. First few weeks were difficult but we got by. Eventually, we got back on our feet."

"Good for you," he smiled, setting his phone face-down on his thigh. He stared at you for a while and you couldn't bring yourself to look away. No words were shared between the two of you, just comforting smile from him and an acknowledging nod from you. And then your doorbell rang, signalling what you assumed was the arrival of your friends. You both made a move for the door, stopping halfway to look at each other.

"I'll do it. It would be weird if you did."

He laughed. "Yeah, I realized that."

You made your way to the foyer just in time for the doorbell to ring again. On the door monitor, you could see your friends faces, waiting for you to open up.

"Welcome to my house," you beamed at them as soon as you opened the door. Hyuck pushed through your cheering girl friends and raised the champagne bottle he was holding.

"Welcome to the big city!" With a soft pop, the bottle was opened and he shook it with so much force that it squirted champagne everywhere within your space. You and the girls shrieked, running back inside to escape Donghyuck's champagne shower.

You were all giggling as you wiped the alcohol on your skin. Seola found Jaemin looking comfortable sitting on the long sofa.

"Oh, Jaemin! I didn't know you were coming!" She waved a hand at him and received a nod and a smile in response.

"Well, coincidentally, he actually lives in the same building. Isn't it amazing?" you told Seola, guiding them from the foyer into the living room. The boys soon followed, laughing and pushing each other into the house with Hyuck still carrying the half-empty champagne bottle.

"Hyuck, I'm not gonna clean after your mess, you should know that," you chided as you helped Seola bring the food to the dining table.

"It was for you!" said Hyuck, following you into the kitchen. He stood behind you and ducked to place his chin on your shoulder, nuzzling affectionately. Then he showed you a nice bouquet of flowers. "Here, I got another one."

"Well, thank you, but I still won't clean it so..." You spun to face him and take the bottle and bouquet from his hand. Then you pulled him to the part of the house where you kept your cleaning materials. You opened up the small cabinet and took out a mop. "Get started on it now. We'll eat once you're done."

"Aw man," he complained but he trudged back to the doorway anyway.

You looked around to see which of your friends came. There's Jaemin and Hyuck. Seola was present with her boyfriend, Minho. Heejin came with them too and you wondered if anyone else is coming.

You rounded back to the kitchen and helped set the table. "Is this everyone?"

"Yes. Did you want more?" asked Heejin, tilting her head at you and smiling before swooping in to give you a quick peck on the cheek.

"Not really but I kinda imagined you bringing Jinyoung along," you replied, referring to her boyfriend. Heejin snorted.

"Nah, he's on the night shift." She does a double take. "You know what, I think he's on the 24-hour shift. He never gets a break. Let alone sleep."

"I don't think any first year resident doctor gets any sleep," you noted.

"Honestly, I have no idea. I just feel really bad for him."

You felt an elbow brush your right arm so you glanced that way and saw Jaemin placing cold cans of beer on the table. Your gazes met and he gave you a quick smile before leaving your side.

Heejin nudged your elbow and whispered in your ear. "Handsome as ever."

You shrugged, glancing at him to make sure he wouldn't hear you. In a low voice, you said, "I know. He was already good-looking back then, now he's even more handsome."

"You mean hot?" Heejin wiggled her eyebrows so you giggled.

"Yeah, I guess he is hot now," you agreed, giggling quietly with your bestfriend.

"Who's hot?" Hyuck's head popped between yours and Heejin's.

"Not you," Heejin snorted, pushing his face before walking away. You laughed at her antics. Hyuck and Heejin have always had a love-hate relationship. Heejin was your friend in the city before you moved to permanently live in your father's hometown. She would occasionally visit you there and that was how she met your friends. You remembered how Hyuck treated her so well that she fell for him only for her to find out that Hyuck was in fact, just trying to be nice. That's how their Tom and Jerry relationship began.

"It's good that you're here now. And it's even better that Jaemin lives in the same building. That means we can get together more often," Hyuck said as you all started to get seated for dinner. Conversations and laughter filled the table, with Hyuck and Seola bringing most of the humor.

When you moved to your living room for drinks, you found out that they had each brought housewarming gifts and blessed you for your new home. The conversations soon turned to random accounts of the past, when you were all teenagers living in the moment and enjoying your youth.

You were reminded of the time when you were all in your small town, a bunch of high school kids trying to survive school. You were the new kid at the time, a fresh face from Seoul. Seoul ws not that far from the town, but it was still a small town and everyone at school was interested with the new face, especially Hyuck who befriended you first. Like Heejin, you mistook his warmth for affection, but luckily for you, you weren't really considering any romance on your first year of high school so you let it pass.

Your friendship would go on for the next few years and you celebrated everything with them, birthdays, competitions, festivals, and even something as small as getting through the exam week. Your circle wasn't big, mostly just you, Donghyuck, Jaemin, and Seola. As well as Jeno and Eunbi, both you rarely see now because life has brought you apart.

"Honestly, if it wasn't for Jaemin telling Hyuck to invite you to lunch, you would be hanging out with a completely different set of friends throughout school," Seola said while you were talking about the time you first came to school.

"Jaemin did?" you questioned, genuinely surprised. It was news to you because you had always thought it was Hyuck who was adamant that you became a part of their circle.

"You didn't know that?" Hyuck asked, surprised. "Remember when you won silver medal during the swimming competition in third year and we brought you flowers that made you ugly cry?"

You exhaled, rolling your eyes when the embarassing memory flashed in your mind.

"Jaemin bought those flowers," Seola confirmed. You glanced up at Jaemin, who was sitting right behind you on the couch while you were on the floor. He just flattened his lips together, embarrassed to admit or deny the fact.

"That's actually very sweet," Heejin sang, tilting her head to the side for effect.

"Jaemin took care of her so well that we had a secret bet in 11th grade on whether they'd start dating or not," Seola confessed and that was the one fact that made you gasp audibly.

"You did? I had no idea!"

Seola smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, it was kind of the point of the whole bet being a secret, sweetheart."

You glanced at Jaemin again to inquire if he knew about the bet. Jaemin shrugged and shook his head.

Heejin turned to Seola and asked, "Who won that bet?"

"Hyuck and Jeno," Seola replied, grinning at Heejin. "But technically they both cheated because we had no idea Jeno was making a move on her and Donghyuck knew about it."

"To be fair, even Jaemin knew Jeno was into her," Hyuck defended. "It's you girls' fault for thinking Jaemin had a thing for her."

"You still cheated and haven't paid us back."

You suddenly remembered Jeno, the only guy you dated in high school. It was a pretty long relationship that lasted from the beginning to the end of senior year. But like most first loves, that one never came back. Not that you wished for it to come back, anyway. To you, being a teenager and falling in love was both an embarrassing and beautiful thing to reminisce about.

You hadn't plan on getting anyone drunk on this party, but it just happened after Donghyuck took out his secret stash of alcohol that he kept hidden from you and you couldn't do anything about it. After all, what kind of housewarming party would this be if they all went home sober? By midnight, you were tipsy and dizzy, leaning your back on the sofa while Jaemin's arm was stretch on the backrest. You were almost oblivious of the proximity because Hyuck was flush on your other side, drunkenly singing a super sad rendition of Day6's Beautiful. Heejin was passed out on the other sofa while Seola and her boyfriend are nowhere to be found.

"Gosh, I hope they're not doing it in my bedroom," you joked after you pointed out their absence by asking if they left without saying goodbye.

"Actually, they went that way." Jaemin pointed to the direction of your bathroom.

"Oh, that's so much worse. I hope they clean up after themselves."

You laughed about it for a bit, only to be silenced by Hyuck's out of tune, sharp-pitched, high note. Your eyes met Jaemin's and you stared at each other for a while before you both burst out laughing.

"How is he so out-of-tune when he can sing really well?" you asked, nudging Hyuck so he'd stop getting sandwiched between the two men.

"Yeah, he is a good singer. Remember when we went to a karaoke room after the swimming competition?"

"I do. There was a singing contest and he registered at the last minute. Wasn't it you who signed his parental consent form?"

Jaemin nodded with a grin. "And he won."

"He did. Talented bastard." You paused, looking at Hyuck who is now mumbling inaudibly while resting his head on the armrest of the sofa. "Ah, about that. Is it true you bought the flowers that day?"

Jaemin shrugged. "It's pretty normal to give someone flowers to congratulate them on something."

"Was it also your idea to give me flowers when I ranked third in the exams?" Jaemin nodded, reaching forward to grab a snack from the coffee table. "How about those other times?"

He chewed on some chips before annswering. "Most times. But the guys picked up on it after some time. Until it became a habit."

You remembered how the boys would give each of you a flower for birthdays, contests, and graduation. You remembered how Seola broke down crying when her parents weren't present during her cello recital but the boys in your circle each had one bouquet of flowers for her so she felt a bit better. You went to a karaoke room after that and sang your hearts out until you were told to leave before 10pm because you were all minors.

"It's cute how you influenced the boys to do something nice," you chimed, glancing at the direction of the vase where you placed the flowers Donghyuck brought tonight.

"I didn't really intend to, but I'll take the credit," he grinned. At that moment, the bathroom door opened where a giggling couple came out looking equally breathless and euphoric.

"You guys look cozy," Seola said as she lunged into you, making Jaemin move aside. You grimaced at her, pushing Seola's face away from you when she tried to hug you. Her boyfriend, Minho gave you a sheepish smile. He had always been shy and you felt bad that he matched with a force like Seola. At the same time, you were happy for him because Seola is the most loyal person you know.

Seola pulled away from you just far enough to kneel on the carpeted floor. Her eyes were focusing on your clothes then on Jaemin's. "Hey, you're coupling again."

"What?" you asked, looking down on your clothes. When you glanced at Jaemin, you realized that your cream sweater matched his cream pants while his grey t-shirt is the same shade as your grey sweatpants.

Seola let out a pitchy laugh. "You guys look cute."

"Okay, alright, time to go," Minho chided softly, gently taking Seola by the arm to help her up. To you, he said, "I should take her home. She has work tomorrow."

You gasped, standing up at once to help Minho. "Why didn't she say that? Gosh, she shouldn't have drunk too much."

"I know," he chuckled as you handed him Seola's purse. "Thanks."

You walked them to the door and told them to take care before they left. When you went back to the living room, Donghyuck was laying down the couch, his head comfortabley resting on Jaemin's lap.

"I'll take him back to my apartment. You should rest now," said Jaemin with which you responded with a nod.

As you helped Jaemin drag Hyuck out of your house, you give the mumbling drunk man a peck on his cheek before bidding them goodbye. Cleaning followed after closing the door but it hasn't been five minutes yet since Jaemin left when he came back.

"Need help cleaning up?" He asked but didn't even let you reply when he pushed through the door and went straight to the living room to clear out the table. He made himself comfortable too quickly that you didn't even have the chance to say you can do it all by yourself, so you decided to just leave him to it.

Heejin woke up when you shook her, helping her up into your bedroom and telling her to change first before going to sleep. When you went back out, Jaemin had just finished putting out the last dishes from the coffee table and was about to start washing them but you stopped him.

"I'll finish up here. You should get some rest too."

"Are you sure?" he asked but he was already taking off the gloves, covering a yawn with one hand. You nodded. "Alright, I'll take out the trash then."

"Thanks," you smiled as he grabbed the trash bag. He walked up to you and mumbled his thanks too.

"Thanks for having me. And you're welcome."

"No. I mean, really, thank you for helping me out. I'm pretty drowsy myself so, you're a life saver."

He just stood there, smiling as he examined your face. Then he touched your cheek with the back of his hand. "You're welcome. Good night."

The next morning, you woke up later than expected and found the space next to you empty. A text from Heejin told you that she had to leave early for work so you scolded her for getting drunk on a weekday. As for you, you just got accepted in your new work and will begin tomorrow but you need to drop by the office today to set up your desk. So after a quick bath, you took your car to the office, making sure to pass by the coffee shop right in front of the building to pick up some coffee for your colleagues in the PR team of the Marketing Department. Your team leader has briefed you about your team so you knew how many cups to buy. Much to your surprise, you found Jaemin in the counter, taking your order. He smiled upon seeing the surprise on your face.

"Did you have a good sleep?" he asked jovially.

"I did, thanks for asking. How about you? You seem energetic and fresh, it makes me jealous," you grumbled.

"Nothing a cup of coffee can't fix," he replied, repeating your order to you before he passed it on to the barista.

You were looking around when Jaemin got back to you. Amazement is evident in your eyes as you took in the interior of the whole cafe. Jaemin couldn't help but smile.

"What do you think?" he asked, prompting your attention.

"I think it looks amazing. Is this yours?" you questioned with a proud smile.

Jaemin shrugged but he nodded his head. You uttered a 'wow' that made Jaemin smile even wider.

"That's why the name was familiar," you noted, remembering that Jaemin's parents had set up the same cafe in your town less than a year ago. "It suits you."

"Because I love coffee?" he asked, stepping out of the counter to join you.

"Yeah. You're crazy for it," you laugheed mockingly. "I think addicted may be the right term."

Jaemin raised two hands. "Arrest me officer." You laughed at his lame retort and he did too. "What brought you to the area?"

"Here?"

"Not me, I assume. You're surprised to see me again."

You laughed because it was true. "No, not you. Actually, I'll start working there tomorrow." You pointed at the building across the street.

"The Marketing Firm?" he asked and you nodded. "That's great. Some employees there are regulars."

"I would assume so."

"Congratulations," he chimed before going back to the counter. You watched him move around while you waited for your order. After less the two minutes, he brings out the cups of coffee you ordered and a slice of cheesecake. "It's on the house. For good luck."

"No, no. I can't just take this for free," you insisted, taking out your card to pay for the cheesecake. But Jaemin crossed his arms over his chest to refuse. Seeing he would never take it, you stuffed it back into your wallet. "Thank you. I guess I could use some good luck."

"Just come find me here. I'll give you more of it."

You felt happy hearing that. For some reasons, your worries about moving here started dissipating. "Thanks. See you soon."

At the office, your desk had a few balloons on it and the team welcomed you with applause. You had a little time to get acquainted with them before they resumed their work and you started setting up. After about an hour, you bade them goodbye and your team leader even walked you out.

Early the next morning, you headed out for work. Since you arrive a bit early, you decided to drop by the cafe to get coffee and hopefully say 'Hi' to Jaemin. He wasn't there though, but you didn't think about it too much and just got yourself a nice cup of iced latte.

Work was work. It wasn't very tiring, but you had quite a lot of tasks on your first day. On your previous job, you would have complained about the workload, but since this was your first day, you were pretty energetic. PR management was quite difficult and your role is mainly on social media management. As a newbie, you were assigned with only one client first, a food brand. But other than handling their social media, you also had to prepare presentations on your online promotion approaches and techniques to be presented to the meeting by afternoon on that day.

At lunch, you got ready to leave with your colleagues, Yunseo and Jaehee, but a delivery arrived for you and it was a packed lunch from Jaemin's cafe.

"It's from the boss, ma'am," said the delivery guy who was actually a service crew from the cafe.

"Thank you. I appreciate it," you replied before bidding him goodbye and going back to your cubicle.

Yunseo called your name as she headed to your desk. "Are you still coming?"

"No, actually, I think I'll have my lunch here," you replied, looking up at her when she was by your desk.

"Oh, Nana's Cafe? That's where we're going for lunch," she said. "It's right across the street."

It came with a note saying he heard you were looking for him that morning and enclosed his number for you to contact.

"Is that a note?" Yunseo asked but you were quick to put it away and give her an awkward grin. Yunseo gave you a teasing look.

"Just come with us, eonnie," said Jaehee. "It would be lonely here by yourself."

There was no reason for you to decline and it was true it would be lonely to eat alone. Besides the fact that you want to get to know your co-workers better, you also don't want to seem like a loner. With the packed lunch in your hands, you joined them at the cafe for lunch where the four of you found a comfortable spot to sit in.

"The food is great here," Jaehee commented just as you all settled down after ordering.

"Yes, and the owner is handsome," Yunseo added, giggling as she brushed shoulders with you. "He's quite popular online too."

"You know what, I tried to get him to work with XO Foods but he declined. I guess he knows he's popular enough and won't need the exposure," Jaehee shared while you just nodded.

"How popular is he?" you asked, taking interest on the subject.

Yunseo pulled up the cafe's IG and sure enough, they are tagged in plenty of posts, with most of these posts featuring Jaemin himself. Sure you've seen the tags and insights about the cafe, but you had no idea the popularity was mainly due to Jaemin's visuals.

"It helps that he had several branches in the city and systematically works in one branch every day," Jaehee added. "On Wednesdays, he's here."

"Yeah, doesn't he have like, six branches all over Seoul?" Yunseo asked and Jaehee nodded in response.

"How do you know so much?" asked Woojin, your male colleague.

"Because I tried to get him on with XO Foods! I did a bit of research about him."

Yeonsu expressed that she had a crush on Jaemin and dropped by regularly every Wednesday to spot him. You found out that this place was dubbed Wednesday Branch because Jaemin is here on Wednesdays. He had six branches in Seoul has scheduled days on each branch. Yeonsu said he's probably at the Apgujeong branch today. Woojin, on the other hand, joked that Jaehee and Yeonsu are simps for the owner and he's just here because the food is top tier.

"He's a dreamboat, any girl would simp over him," Yunseo said dreamily. You looked down at the lunch that was delivered to you a while ago and hoped they wouldn't start asking where you got it from.

You realized just how much you didn't know about Jaemin. You knew he became a chef and had a restaurant, but not to this extent. And you cannot say it was because you weren't interested, rather it was because he speaks less about himself in a humble, reserved kind of manner. You realized you should have believed Hyuck when he went on about how Jaemin is the richest among your friend circle today. He was right, it seems. And as you all ate, you realized the food really was great.

Jaemin wasn't much of a cook as far as you remember, but he always cooked when you're hanging out at Jeno's place. It was his mom who made phenomenal food. His mother owned a small restaurant in your town that you frequented in. You hung out there to eat after exams, or games, and stuff. You even remember that you had your very first alcohol there when his father slipped soju disguised as a water bottled on your table when you all turned 19. You got caught of course, but since you've finished up the entire bottle, Jaemin's mom can only scold you.

The week passed quickly and you have fully adjusted to your new work and your new home. On your way to work, you passed by the cafe. It has become a habit since you didn't own a coffee maker and needed coffee in the morning. You would have gotten yourself one, but you sucked at making coffee. An instant capsule is what you can do at best, but your taste buds just don't like it. A female employee was on the counter when you went to order and she gave you a buzzer. You found a seat and waited there as you realized the considerable amount of people in the cafe. It was more packed than usual, mostly with girls. Then you realized today was Wednesday and Jaemin will be here.

Come to think of it, you haven't bumped into him all week, which you thought was weird considering you live in the same building and floor. Maybe your schedules don't match so you didn't think much about it. But then there were quiet gasps from the customers, followed by murmurs. When you followed their line of sight, you saw Jaemin carrying a tray with a smile. You realized he was looking at you and felt conscious of the murmurs.

He placed the takeout cup in front of you along with a fold of tissue papers and your receipt.

"Here you are." His smile was beautiful today, well to be fair, you had always thought his smile was radiant. "How did you like the food?"

"Sorry?" you asked, puzzled for a second. "Oh, from last week. Yeah, it was great. Top tier, even. Thank you so much for that by the way. And I actually had most of my lunches here."

You felt a little bad for forgetting to thank him. He even gave you his number but it totally slipped your mind.

"I'm glad you liked it. Come back more often, maybe you'll catch me here and I'll give you a discount."

"Like, on Wednesdays?"

Jaemin gave you a teasing look. "You know my schedules?"

"My coworkers do."

"I see, well I'm here on Wednesdays. I'll be expecting you."

Your phone buzzed and you checked it to see a message from Jaehee. You hurriedly grabbed the coffee and found a complimentary cookie with it so you thanked Jaemin.

"You're welcome. Enjoy your coffee," he said as you handed him the buzzer. "Will I be seeing you for lunch?"

"Sorry?" you questioned. He asked that right when you were at the door, making everyone hear him. For a moment, you thought he was inviting you to have lunch with him.

"With your coworkers."

Your eyes widened in realization and shame. "Oh. With them, of course. I think so. They would hate to miss you today."

"Alright then. See you later."

But you didn't see him again that day, and for the rest of the week. A lunch meeting had been scheduled for your team to meet up with a certain client so you all skipped Nana's Cafe.

Days seemed to pass quickly in the city. You woke up one weekend to find your mother at your doorstep with shopping bags in her arms. You let her in and she went on to comment about how it's late in the morning and you're just climbing out of bed.

"Mom, I'm not late. You're just early," you reasoned, sitting next to her on the sofa and leaning on her shoulder to get more sleep.

She shook her body to get you off of her. "Go get a bath first!"

"Later," you grumbled, locking her in your embrace. She eventually stopped squirming and just let you hug her. She even had you lay your head on her lap. "How are you these days?"

"Fine. I've done nothing but work, but it's not that hard," you confessed, closing your eyes as she caressed your head.

"How about food? Are you eating well?"

"If you're so worried, you should have brought me food instead of clothes," you conplained, although you both knew you meant it as a joke.

Your mother looked at the shopping bags. "What's the point of raising you when you can't even say 'thank you'?"

You just laughed, the familiar warmth creeping in your heart upon hearing your mother's familiar nagging. While most moms can bring home-made food and side dishes for their children, your mom brings you clothes and accessories. She grew up in a wealthy family and was pampered for most of her life so she never really worried about cooking. Even after she married your father, you still lived in comfort and your father is a great cook. You had come to accept that about her because like your mother, you are also an awful cook.

"Jaemin's mom said you two live in the same building," she asked. "Do you see him a lot?"

"Not really. But I always eat at his cafe."

Your mother chuckled. "How nice is that? Back home, we get most of our food from their restaurant. Here in the city, you eat at their son's cafe. We rely on their family's cooking too much, don't we?"

You sat up and looked at her with a smile. "If you put it like that, it does sound funny."

She flicked your forehead, making you scream in pain. "Be grateful. Neither you and I can cook! You should have learned a thing or two from your father if you wanted to survive by yourself."

"Mom, there are restaurants for a reason!" you clapped back and she couldn't even respond because your doorbell rang.

You glanced at it and groaned. "Why are you people barging in so early?"

As you stood up, your mom angrily scolded you for calling her 'you people'. But your loud gasp quieted her. She followed right behind you asking what happened. "Who's there? Why are you so surprised?"

Jaemin's face is clearly registered on your door monitor. Your mother beamed happily. "Oh, it's Na Jaemin. Open up."

"You open up. I'm gonna go brush my teeth," you declared, bolting towards the bathroom to freshen up.

You also changed into more decent clothes, remembering to wear a bra. After a while, you came out to find your mom and Jaemin at the kitchen, arranging containers in your fridge.

"What's going on here?" you prompted, making your way to them and grabbing an apple from the fruit basket on your table.

"Good morning," Jaemin greeted passively, eyes focused on his task.

"Jaemin brought side dishes," your mom said happily and you glanced at Jaemin who smiled at you.

"Again? Thank you so much. That's so nice of you," you chimed, helping them by taking out the old ones he first gave you about a month ago. Most of them were already empty.

"Mom came over yesterday. She brought more this time because I told her I shared them with you," Jaemin told you. Then he turned to your mom. "She just left this morning, actually. It's a shame you missed her, Auntie."

"It is. We could have went to a spa together or something. You know, to thank her for including my lazy daughter."

"Mom!" you chided while you got ready to wash the old containers.

But your mother ignored that. "Ah, how about we set a schedule for it? We could come to Seoul together and bond."

"She would love that," Jaemin affirmed and your mother seemed happy to hear that.

"It's the least I could do. Your mother helped me a lot. And I'm thankful for you helping my daughter out here. We owe so much to your family."

You let them chat away while you wash the dirty containers. After that, you wiped them clean and packed them so Jaemin could bring them back to his house. While you were at it, Jaemin and your mother has moved to the living room so you decided to slice up some fruit for them.

"So I heard. I'd go over next time I'm here," your mom told Jaemin. They were talking about Jaemin's restaurants when you joined them.

"You can go over today, mom. Why wait till next time?"

Your mom turned to you. "I won't be here for long. I have plans with your grandfather today and then I'll go back home."

You just nodded, taking a fork to get a slice of peach. Your mom did the same.

"That's a shame. But I also have plans today, so I'm afraid I wouldn't have been able to entertain you anyway," said Jaemin, standing up from his seat. "I actually have to go now. I just came to drop the sides."

"You're leaving already? I sliced fruits!" you told him but he just chuckled.

"I brought those fruits. I can have them at home."

"Ah, right. Thank you, by the way. And thank your mom for me. I really appreciate it."

"I will. It was nice seeing you again, Auntie. Come visit me anytime."

"I will. Thank you, Jaemin."

You both walked him to the door, uttering more thanks until he disappeared. After that, you went with your mother to meet your grandparents. It was a hearty lunch with them who fondly showered you with compliments and kept telling you to go see them when you're free. You realized yet again that it has been a month since you moved here but you haven't really gone out to meet anyone. You made a mental note to go see them next weekend.

Heejin calls you while you were on your way home. You had just parted with your mother after the lunch with your parents and you had actually ignored Heejin's messages during that.

"I just got home, what is it?" you asked.

"This is crazy news! Crazy!" she said, sounding ballistic. You thought she'd deliver some gossip or exclusive like she always does. Although during those other times, she didn't act this excited. Heejin is a journalist in a big paper and she writes mostly about celebrities.

You stood in front of the underground elevator and it had just closed when you pushed it again, hoping it would open just before it ascended.

"Spill it."

"Jeno just got engaged."

At that moment, the elevator door opened and you saw Jaemin and Jeno staring right back at you. You were surprised to see them, but Jeno was more surprised to see you. He might have tried to hide behind thick sunglasses and a bucket hat, but you recognized him anyway. You hung up on Heejin and awkwardly entered the elevator with the two guys behind you.

You heard Jeno call your name so you glanced back at him and smiled. "How long has it been?"

"I'm not so sure. But it's been a while," you replied, eyeing Jaemin curiously.

"It's good to see you again," Jeno added, smiling underneat his sunglasses. You can almost see the way his eyes were smiling at you too.

"You too, Jen."

You remembered the time you started going out with the ace student, Lee Jeno. How you were both in the same friend circle and you had a crush on him the moment you met him. He was nice to you but didn't express interest until late into junior year. You dated for a while, innocently navigating young love. He was wealthy and had a good background. When his father got married, you all attended the ceremony to comfort him because he disliked the whole thing. But right before graduation, you remembered breaking up with Jeno after he said they were moving permanently in Seoul where his stepmom was working as an actress. You would have been fine with LDR, but he wasn't, especially after he said he auditioned to be an idol trainee and got accepted. You remembered crying, like the dumb teen that you are. And it was in the restaurant of Jaemin's family, surrounded by your friends that you were comforted by spicy tteokbokki.

You had long made peace with your break up. It was long ago and you were both young then. Heck you have even dated two other guys since then. You were happy for him and he seemed happy too. He didn't become an idol, but he made a name for himself as an actor. The last thing you remember reading about him was that he had quit acting and is teaching at an art school. Now, it seems he will soon get married.

"Would you like to join us for drinks? We're celebrating my engagement. Donghyuck will be there too," Jeno invited just as you all got off the same floor.

"Thanks but I have work tomorrow. Congratulations, though."

"Alright. It was nice to see you again."

They headed to the direction of Jaemin's unit and before leaving, Jaemin turned to you to say, "Goodnight."

"Have fun," you replied before punching in your passcode.

Heejin called you after the articles were posted and gushed about how you dated an actual celebrity.

"Well, he wasn't a celebrity then and we were literal teenagers," you blurted.

"Did you kiss at all?"

Your brows knitted, glancing at her face on the video call. "Yes. But that's as far as we went. Don't get weird ideas."

Heejin laughed. "Wouldn't it be nice if it was you?"

You rolled your eyes, pausing on the typing you were doing in your laptop. "Are you interviewing Jeno's ex-girlfriends for an article? Why are you asking ridiculous questions?"

"No, I'm not. I'm just curious."

You thought about her question and then shuddered. "No. Can't even imagine myself there. We were just kids when we dated, Heejin. And I pretty much never thought about marriage at that time. Good for him that he's settling down though."

"What about Hanbin? You talked about marrying him two years ago."

"Yes and we broke up right after that because he wasn't ready but he got married a month later."

"Geez, why is everyone getting married?" Heejin grimaced and shuddered.

"Just so you know, we're at the age where our friends are all getting married.

"Not me. I won't." Heejin laughed maniacally.

You were working late at night on some edits in your publication materials when you suddely felt hungry and decided to go to the convenience store. There was one attached to the building, so you didn't have to go too far, but you were disappointed to see that there were barely any food left and the convenience store guy said the new stocks will come in tomorrow. You should have gone grocery shopping that weekend, so stupid.

When you went to pay for some chips, you saw the man in front of you putting two packs of ramen on the counter. Those were the last ones and you thought about buying them from the hooded man.

"Excuse me, do you really need two packs of ramen? That's pretty heavy. How about letting me buy the other one instead?" you asked and then realized it wasn't the right approach. When the man turned to you, you saw that it was Jaemin. "Oh, it's you."

Jaemin grinned. "Wanna eat ramen with me?"

"Yes!" you replied without missing a beat and the cashier girl made a loud gasp. Only then did you realize the situation and the reason for her reaction. "No. I mean... like actual ramen. Not whatever type of ramen. Hey!"

The girl was startled when you hollered at her. From the looks of her, she seemed a lot younger than you are, probably a part-timing student. "Yes, ma'am?"

"How old are you? Why are you thinking weird thoughts?" you scolded despite feeling embarrassed to the point of blushing.

"I didn't say anything, ma'am."

Jaemin grabbed the chips from your hand and slid them to the counter. "Ignore her. She's just shy. We'll pay for these."

You hit Jaemin's arm when you recognized the teasing in his tone. He just laughed and turned to the cashier. After paying, you ran out of the store first while Jaemin followed.

"Should we walk some more? There's a convenience store two blocks from here," he offered as you walked back to the building entrance.

"I thought you were gonna give me the other one?"

Jaemin glanced at you. "I would have, but one pack is not enough for me and Donghyuck."

"Hyuck again? He should just live with you at this point," you quipped. Donghyuck always went to hang out at Jaemin's place and often he would invite you guys in the group chat but most of you are busy.

"I thought you have work tomorrow?"

You nodded. "I'm making last minute edits. Then I got hungry."

"How about joining us? There's fried chicken and this ramen too."

You sighed as you two stopped in front of the elevators. "I'd love to, but I can't hang out tonight."

"You don't have to. You can just eat and then leave right after. It'll take you only five or ten minutes max."

"Okay. Thanks," you replied. You were hungry anyway and you could use a break from staring at your computer.

You thought Jeno would still be there, but Jaemin said he had left an hour ago. Hyuck was playing video games while Jaemin worked on the food. There were beer next to Hyuck and he was screaming at the TV screen so you opted not to join him even though the sofa seemed inviting. You noted how Jaemin's home was clean and cozy, especially his kitchen.

He worked fast, all the while chatting you up on your day and teasing about how your ex is about to get married.

"It's fine as long as I get an invite for being his first girlfriend ever," you joked, chopping up some spring onions that he surprisingly trusted you to help with.

Jaemin laughed. "That's funny because I actually need a plus one. You should come with me. We can laugh at their high society guests and meet celebrities."

"Laugh at their high society guests? I'm pretty sure my mom would be there too."

"Ah, right. She's friends with Jeno's Dad." Jaemin pointed the spoon at you. "And you're from high society."

You snorted and shook your head, taking the spoon from his hand. "Never lived that way. Not even once."

You tasted the broth and complimented its rich flavor. Jaemin laughed at you, saying the flavor came with the pack.

"You're right. It wasn't from your talent," you quipped and you both laughed.

"Are you two dating? You seem in love and happy," said Donghyuck who popped out of nowhere.

"Shut it," you threatened, holding out the spoon as a weapon.

You and Hyuck basically inhaled the food as soon as it was served. It didn't wait long and Jaemin wasn't only a good cook, but a great chef. He had eggs with it and some leafy greens as well as delicious side dishes from his mom.

"This kimchi is great," Hyuck commented and you nodded in approval.

"If I went home with just the chips, I would have ate the side dishes in my fridge," you said, taking more noodles from the pot.

"Is the restaurant still there?" Hyuck asked, referring to the restaurant owned by Jaemin's family.

"Yeah. The cafe was right next to it but their restaurant is more popular," you replied. "I still frequented the place when I was there. And I also got updates about Jaemin from his mom. She talks about him all the time."

"Were you so interested about Jaemin that his mom talked about him so much?"

You slurped on the noodles and glared at Hyuck. "I'm not!" you insisted but somehow it came out a little too defensively even if you didn't mean to.

"She talks about you a lot too," Jaemin said to you. "When I go home, or when she comes over, she talks about you and what you're up to."

"Right, didn't she tell you about her and Hanbin going out?" Donghyuck laughed and Jaemin nodded, grinning playfully.

"She did. She also said Hanbin dumped you and got married one month later."

You rolled your eyes at them, taking their teasing in stride.

"It was a good riddance. Hanbin is a jerk," Hyuck spat.

"I agree," said Jaemin. "Remember when we graduated high school and he punched a classmate for taking a picture with her girlfriend at the time?"

Donghyuck scoffed. "Yeah, total garbage."

"How did you end up dating him, anyway?" Jaemin asked, his forehead creasing with how much his brows were knotting.

"To be fair, he stopped being a jerk. He wasn't a jerk even after we broke up. We talked about marriage and we agreed but he wanted to stay there. I don't. God knows I would never be content to stay in that town my whole life," you explained.

"Good for you. Our town was lovely, but you can't make a life of your own if you don't get out of there," Hyuck said and you were surprised that he was taking the conversation seriously.

It was ironic that you were the last to leave, considering you were the one who wasn't originally from that town in the first place. But you're happy now that you're out of there. It was a lovely town, like Donghyuck said, but it hinders your endeavors. You know you are made for more than just a small town marketing assistant. Heck you even went to a big school just to make sure you find opportunities outside town. You ended back there and stayed for two years before you're finally out.

You remembered college graduation and realized even on that, you were with the same friends to celebrate. You came home after graduation and the town had a big party to congratulate you and the others who finished their studies. Jaemin was the one who handed you flowers at the time. And then you got drunk with your friends, singing your hearts out in a karaoke room like you always did when you were teens. You missed every second of it and loved looking back on it.

A few days later, you attended a meeting for the XO Foods' anniversary events. The main task was to hold a cooking competition and the winner will be an endorser for the brand. There was a long list of potential contestants and you weren't surprised to find Jaemin in that list. They picked the most popular, good looking, and young candidates for the mini-show. Its main purpose was to promote after all so picking people with good visuals was vital.

After the meeting, you took it upon yourself to visit Jaemin's cafe to find him and talk to him about the competition. There was prize money and the feature can help his brand and help the company as well. It was a Friday, so naturally he won't be at the cafe. Then you remembered you had his number so you texted him instead. But instead of replying, he just called you.

"I know you didn't wanna do it. My coworker has tried before, and you declined. But I just wanna know, maybe, if you changed your mind about working with XO Foods for a project?"

"XO Foods?"

"Yeah. They're the client I'm assigned to."

"Alright, sure," he replied without missing a beat.

That was quick and you haven't even explained the whole thing yet, so you did just that before accepting his answer.

"Yeah, I'll do it," he replied after your explanation. "I could use the exposure and the pay seemed decent."

You squealed. "Thank you! Oh, gosh. I though it would be difficult to convince you."

Jaemin just chuckled heartily. "Anything for you really."

You gawked at nothing, confused by what he said but you kept quiet.

"Just let me know when you need me for it."

"Yeah, I will."

"Alright, y/n" he smiled, followed by a proper enunciation of your name that seemed to roll perfectly on his tongue.

You weren't prepared for the random texts that you would get from him ever since he got your phone number. At first it came the next morning, a picture of freshly made bread pulled out from the oven. It had a note that says, "Come try a piece before you get to work!" Then the next day at lunch time, he asked if you already ate and whether you'd like to try the newest addition to their menu. The texts were mostly that and it almost felt like you subscribed to a food delivery service that sends notifications about food. You didn't think much of it, but replied politely anyway. Sometimes you said the food looks good, sometimes you said you'd get a bite before work, other times you can only decline due to work. But it was fun so you just went with it.

The meeting with three competing chefs came and you felt proud of your team for a job well done. Everyone is engaging in your online campaigns and you managed to snag three competitive, handsome and pretty, popular influencer chefs. It went smoothly and surely it did not slip your coworkers notice when Jaemin approached you after for a quick chat. Nothing much was talked about between you. He just asked if you had lunch already and left after you said you did.

Jaehee and Yunseo started teasing you and asked how you two were so close.

"We're friends, that's all," you said concisely. It was the truth and there really isn't anything else to add.

"Why didn't you tell us? We've been to his cafe a lot of times! We even met him!" Yunseo asked, playfully hitting your arm several times.

"Well, it felt a bit obnoxious to say I know a popular person," you confessed which was true too.

"Is that why he always comes out to greet us?" Jaehee asked, bewildered. "And you got him to join the competition too!"

"Eonnie, if you guys aren't a thing, maybe you can introduce me," Yunseo suggested, batting her eyelashes at you and making you chuckle.

"We're not a thing and I'll introduce you for sure but how he reacts to it will be up to him," you told Yunseo who just squealed happily and said she'll be fine as long as Jaemin knew her name. "You're a cutie."

"Am I?" Yunseo asked cutely. "I hope Jaemin thinks so too."

Border

Jaemin knocked on your door early that weekend and you opened up to see a box of pastry from him.

"What's this?"

"Oh, it's the cookie samplers I promised you last time," he said, referring to one of his texts.

You took it from his hand and noticed that he was dressed for jogging. "Thank you. Were you working out?"

"Yeah, I went for a jog then passed by the cafe for that," he replied, wiping sweat from his forehead. "Anyway, gotta go. I got work today. Enjoy your day-off though!"

"Thanks again. Have fun at work!"

You didn't think you'd see him again that day, but you did. The brunch date Yunseo had set up with you and Jaehee happened to be at Nana's Cafe in a different branch.

Yeonsu said Jaemin would be here today. She wasn't wrong because Jaemin was at the counter, taking orders. He noticed you and immediately switched with a staff to take your orders.

"These are my coworkers. You've met them before," you introduced. "Jaehee and Yunseo."

Yunseo stood up to shake hands with him. "Nice to meet you."

"You too," Jaemin beamed. "What can I get you started with?"

After taking your orders, you chatted amongst yourselves and waited for it to come. Jaemin was the one who brought it out too when they were ready, even going as far as giving three small slices of chocolate cakes for each of you. He said it was on the house since he was glad to meet your friends.

"Thanks, Jae," you said before he left.

"He likes you," Jaehee chimed as soon as Jaemin was out of earshot. You shushed her but Yunseo joined in on the teasing.

"He does."

You rolled your eyes and sighed. "Jaemin is an old friend and he'd always been nice to me since high school."

"Then he must have liked you for a long time now! You sync so perfectly, even your wristwatch were same colors!" Yunseo pointed iut enthusiastically.

"How did you even catch the color of his watch?" you questioned, genuinely bewildered by her attention to detail.

Jaemin liking you was a ridiculous idea that you refused to entertain. But it lingered in your mind. As you went home, you wondered if Jaemin had always been that sweet and friendly. The answer was no. He was more of a subtle kind of friend, coming up with clever ways to make people feel special despite acting aloof most of the time. He must have gotten over his inexpressiveness and is now being openly nice and sweet to his friends.

To you, you thought he had always been aloof too. But he did make you feel his friendly affection in some ways.

Participants had an interview at your company on Monday and it was broadcasted live online. You were there as part of the PR team and you were closely monitoring interactions from viewers. Sure enough, a lot of people watched the Live, proving just how popular the chefs were. After that stint, Jaemin approached you for a favor.

"Anything within my powers," you quipped.

"How about coming over to the cafe to test new recipes?"

You had no plans tonight so you decided to agree. "Sure, but I'm not a food critic so I'm not sure if I can help."

"Can we come too?" asked Jaehee and only then did you realized that they were listening in.

Jaemin nodded. "Of course! I'd be happy to cater to you. But I can only take the three of you since the food is limited and I already have other guests coming."

"Oh no worries. We won't be bringing anyone else," Yunseo assured, pushing Woojin aside when he was passing by you.

They chatted for a bit while you quietly observed, a little embarrassed that Jaemin had to cater to extra guests when he already have other people coming. But you decided he was probably alright with it since he agreed to it.

The cafe across the street was closed when you arrived. Aside from the staff, there was no one else in the cafe and you found yourself asking Jaemin about his guests.

"Oh, they canceled. It was actually just a friend from culinary school and his girlfriend. They said it was an emergency and I knew better than ask," Jaemin explained. "I'm gonna go finish up in the kitchen. I should join you in a bit."

"Yeah, go ahead," your coworkers said.

When Jaemin left, Jaehee said, "It would have been awkward if only and Jaemin were here."

"Or romantic," Yunseo argued. "I bet he'd prefer that too."

"Right? He's so obvious! I can't even!" Jaehee gushed and you can only shake your head.

Obvious how? It's either you're blind to it or they're making a big deal out of nothing. Well, sure, there were times he would randomly say cheesy stuff but he never expounded on that and you assumed he had been joking each time. Other than that, you were sure Jaemin was just being his usual self. Jaehee and Yunseo wouldn't understand because they weren't the ones who were friends with Jaemin for a long time.

"Should we just give them the space?" Yunseo giggled.

"We should."

"Don't you dare." you threatened just as Jaemin was coming out of the kitchen.

He had got rid of his apron and you assumed he'll be joining you for dinner now. "Is the wine good?"

"It's impeccable. Good taste, Jaemin," Jaehee complimented but her eyes were on you when Jaemin sat on the vacant seat right next to you, then grabbed your glass to drink from it.

He must have noticed the way Yunseo and Jaehee were looking because he cleared his throat and put the glass down. "She doesn't like wine. She hasn't even touched it."

"Ah, I see," Yunseo said before shooting you a teasing look. "You seem to know a lot about her."

Jaemin shrugged and then smiled widely. "Well, she's an interesting person. Don't you think?"

Food came one by one and you thought the teasing would end there but Jaemin took it a notch when he would place food on your plate carefully each time. The knowing looks from your coworkers did not miss your eye but you just gestured for them to be quiet.

You started eating after thanking Jaemin and you noticed how he watched your faces for reactions before starting his own meal. Yunseo and Jaehee uttered alarmingly specific accounts about the food while you can only say it was great and flavorful.

"You're lucky we're here then. We're quite the food critic, you know," Yunseo joked.

"Yeah. Your interesting friend can literally offer nothing but an affirmative nod," Jaehee teased and you blushed because it was true.

"In my defense, you didn't tell me I need Michelin evaluator qualifications to be here," you ranted to Jaemin who just shook his head with a fond smile on his lips.

"No, not at all. I invited you here because I wanted you to try the food, not because I need you to critic me like I'm in Masterchef."

Yeonsu and Jaehee let out 'ooohs' and even whistled. Jaemin seemed proud and even encouraged the two girls but you weren't having it.

"Like a test animal?"

Leave it up to you to ruin a cute moment. Thank you.

There were more comments on the food with a few of your innocently worded inputs. Jaemin takes out another bottle of wine that you shared with casual conversations before it was time to go. Yeonsu and Jaehee left after Jaemin explicitly said you two can go home together since you live in the same building. You can already imagine the teasing you'll get the next day, but you just sighed. Jaemin noticed your dillemma as he poured more wine for himself.

"Are you okay?" he asked before taking a swig from his glass.

"Yeah, it's just... My coworkers think you like me or something," you began, trailing off on your words but he caught them just fine. "It's ridiculous, I know. But it's just because they don't know the kind of person you are, that's why they're saying those."

He tilted his head curiously. "What kind of person do you think I am?"

You were a bit taken aback by his question so you cleared your throat and straightened your back before replying. "Well, I think you're sweet and nice. Very gentlemanly and thoughtful too."

"Really?" He cocked an eyebrow at you.

You laughed derisively. "I knew you've always been nice since we were younger and even now, you're still considerate as ever. To Yunseo and Jaehee, they might think you're going the extra mile because you like me, but we both know you've always been a really good friend to everyone."

Jaemin straightened up and rested his back on the chair before sighing your name and glancing at you. "I'm not all that, you know."

"And you're very humble too," you chuckled, clinking your glass on his before taking a sip of your juice.

"It's the truth, y/n," he insisted. "I'm pretty laid back and didn't care much unless it involves me. And I'm the most passive when it came to friendly relations. I'd say I'm a considerate man, but mostly just for my friends."

"Well, maybe that's what you think. But me and all your other friends sure know you're a really great friend. I'd know because you were very considerate of me too," you affirmed, worried that he might think so lowly of himself when he is in fact a great guy.

Jaemin just chuckled. "You don't get it do you, y/n? I know myself better than anyone. And I'm pretty sure I tried going the extra mile just for you."

You fell quiet. He must have been drunk to be saying all of that. Or maybe you were and you're mind is playing tricks on you so you're hearing things in your head. But you wouldn't be able to confirm it because he fell asleep on the table all of a sudden and you realized he just emptied the wine bottle and now he's passed out drunk. And here you thought he had a high tolerance of alcohol.

Luckily, a staff was still cleaning in the kitchen and he helped you take Jaemin to your car so you can drive him home. It wasn't your best idea, and you knew you won't be able to carry him up the building, but you drove home anyway.

You tried waking Jaemin when you reached the parking lot and he stirred in his seat, blinking as he focused his gaze on his surroundings. He glanced sideways at you and flashed the biggest smile you have ever seen from him. "You're very pretty."

"Thanks, I know that. Now come on, let's get you to bed."

He was basically zombie-walking at the hallways but you're happy that he can still walk so you just held him in place. You could tell he was terribly sleepy by the way his head would fall suddenly.

"Here we are. Can you enter your passcode?" you asked slowly, making sure he can hear you. With a drunk smile he reached for the door and started entering his passcode but he can't hit the right keys.

"Damn, why are the numbers dodging," he laughed before trying again. He kept going at it but he just couldn't get it right even as he shool his head aggressively in his attempt to sober up.

After several annoyed huffs from you, he laughingly pressed his nose on the side of your head and whispered the passcode before falling limp on your hold.

You were dumbfounded for a second, cradling Jaemin while you processed your thoughts. You tried to brush off the heat that resulted from the sudden contact and hurriedly entered his passcode. You couldn't even remember where you got the strength to drag him to his sofa and leave him there, but you were glad that you finally did. He mumbled incoherrently but you were too focused on the warmth on your ear that you just stormed out of his unit and hid into yours.

Jaemin woke up in a daze, blinking as the sun shone through the open curtains of his big windows. He recognized his living room, and wondered why he wasn't in his room. He massaged his aching temple and rose from his uncomfortable position on the sofa and then groaned in disgust upon realizing he had slept in his outside clothes. Struggling with a head ache and feeling disgusted by his own smell, he dunked an advil in the bathroom and took a shower.

He recalled being at the cafe with you and your coworkers. Then he remembered how he finished an entire bottle and blacked out. He had bits of memories scattered in place as well as one where he openly told you you were pretty. He smiled idiotically at the memory, drying his hair with a towel as he downed a whole bottle of hangover tonic. He now remembered that you took him home and feels sorry for the trouble but he just can't stop smiling, especially after the doorbell rang and he saw your face in the monitor.

He cleared his throat first and kept a straight face before opening the door to greet you. You handed a small bottle of hangover drink to him.

You weren't look at him straight and he can even tell you were annoyed by the way your brows are knitted together. "You must be hungover. Tou were so drunk last night."

Jaemin didn't have it in him to refuse even after he had just finished a bottle of the same tonic. Besides, he's just happy to see you this early. "Thank you. Oh, and I'm sorry about last night. I don't usually get drunk but that wine was a fairly new addition to theh menu. I had no idea it would be that strong."

You glanced at him briefly before looking away again. You didn't even move your head. "You finished an entire bottle by yourself, Jaemin. Surely you figured you'd get drunk?"

"Yeah, I did but it wasn't my intention really. Thanks for taking me home."

"Don't mention it. You did cook some delicious food for us, and it was free so this is nothing."

"If I wasn't a businessman, I wouldn't charge you for anything at all," Jaemin grinned, eyes shifting on your clothes and he realized that you were already dressed for work. "Do you need a ride? I'm going over there today."

You narrowed your eyes at him. "You left your car in Apgujeong."

"Oh shit, I did, didn't I?"

You just scoffed. "I can give you a lift but I'm running late so..."

"There's no need. Thanks for the offer."

"Okay, bye," you turned to leave and Jaemin panicked so he called your name. When you glanced back, he was unsure of what to say. In his mind, he was trying to find a good reason to be alone with you again.

Should he invite you over to the cafe again? No, he already did that. Maybe dinner? Just the two of you? Wouldn't it be too forward? How about coffee? Nah, you get coffee everyday.

"What is it, Jaemin?"

Your voice pulled him out of his musings. "Nothing. Have fun at work."

You chuckled. "Thanks. You too."

You bade him goodbye and he reluctantly waved at you then watched your back disappear into the elevator. Maybe next time, after all, he agreed to take one step at a time.

You expected Yunseo and Jaehee to tease you at work and they didn't disappoint. So now you're explaining to them how you two happened to just live in the same building. Yunseo was gushing about destiny but you laughed at her absurdity, then you remembered the way he whispered in your ear and felt your face flare. You saw him that morning and he seemed perky like always so you thought he must have no recollection of it. The Jaemin you knew would apologize for behaving inappropriately, especially in a drunken state. You decided it was best to keep it to yourself rather than bring it up and make things awkward. It was an accident, you're sure of it. Jaemin doesn't even seem to remember that.

The fact that you didn't see Jaemin at all for the next three days didn't help erase the memory of his lips on the side of your head. Why? Because his pictures are in every pubmat you were making, it actually felt more like you were seeing him at all times. You now share your team leader's wish that you had a different person for the layouts and pubmats. He might have wanted it for efficiency, but you wanted it just so you can stop staring at Jaemin's handsome face.

The competition broadcast came. You sat on a desk behind the filming crew, where you will be monitoring the comments and interactions on the live broadcast. The chefs arrived after a short trip to the styling room and you liked how Jaemin looked in his chef uniform and the apron that bore his cafe's logo on the chest. You knew this was a leap in his career since he only ever got photographed by customers instead of actually using his visuals to promote himself. If it was a PR stunt, then you'd think he was smart enough to have branded himself a humble, handsome chef who relies on talent rather than his looks. But knowing him, you knew it was all a spontaneous occurence that just happened to go on his favor.

The mini competition started and while you tried to be neutral as a staff member, you couldn't help rooting for Jaemin. Two of the chefs were influencers with a fanbase. Jaemin was the only one who didn't capitalize on his physical appearance and as a PR person, you'd say he was dumb for that but as his friend, you respected him for it. Then again, more people were drawn to the mysterious 'It boy' who appears on the regular but kept a low profile from the internet.

The live would go on for more than an hour since the challenge was to whip up a gourmet dish in less that 45 minutes. After getting the judges to taste the dishes, Chef Jisook ended up winning the grand price, with Jaemin trailing behind her after receiving praise for his fusion dish that 'redefined Korean cuisine'.

After the filming wrapped up, Jaemin found you in the pool of busy people and skipped over to you with a big smile. "The CEO offered to have me in one episode of the cooking show."

"That's great! Good for you!" you cheered, nudging his elbow with yours. "That's because you're so talented.

The cooking show was an online thing that the company regularly does. It has a steady following and does well to promote the brand and the guests that stars in it are usually famous chefs and celebrities. Being on that show would surely catapult Jaemin's name and brand. You were telling Jaemin all that as he drove his car to one of his cafes.

You caught him smiling at you like he was staring at you rather than listening so you stopped talking.

"Why'd you stop?"

"Because you stopped," you replied, looking outside to see where you parked. Jaemin said there's no need to rush but you shrugged and got off the car first. He followed soon after and you immediately spotted your common friends inside the building.

You ran inside to greet your friends and explicitly noted how Seola is still with Minho. You said he must be doing the right thing since he's still around.

"Excuse me, my man is not a cheat," Seola defended, wrapping an arm around Minho's waist. "As a matter fact, we're getting married."

"You are?" you exclaimed, covering your mouth in surprise.

Seola was satisfied with your reaction. "Yes. Why do you think we're gathered today? It's because Minho proposed to me the other day."

"Oh my god," you said, pulling her into a hug.

Hyuck was chuckling on your side. "He's trying to race with Jeno."

"No, I'm not!" Seola insisted, glaring at the guy. "It was a spontaneous decision."

Everyone disagreed because you all know that if the opposite of spontaneous is a person, it would be Seola.

"It's not, but we had been talking about it after Seola said she wanted to get maried before thirty," Minho confessed. "We wanted children and getting pregnant after thirty is risky so the sooner, the better. We are financially stable and in love, so what's stopping there to stop us?"

"Yeah, well, I hope you don't end up getting divorced," Heejin jeered and instantly received a glare from Seola.

"Why are you cursing us already? You're mean," Seola pouted, hiding behind Minho.

You understood where she was coming from, after all, you have thought about the same thing before. You planned to get married before thirty when you were younger. Even today, you're still considering it. You still have four years before that, but that too could be considered a short time. And of course, you are yet to find a match who is worth spending the rest of your life with. Divorce is never an option for you.

Your eyes found Jaemin's. He had been staring and you caught him, but instead of looking away, he held your gaze with reassurance and some kind of comfort that you didn't quite understand the purpose of but you still appreciated. For some reason, you thought maybe you can consider him. That is if he was serious about what he had been implying these past few days—that he liked you before and he likes you now.

Jeno soon arrived with his fiancee and you were all happy to meet her at last. The night continued and you even got to bring up how Jaemin almost won the cooking competition. Hyuck said he saw it and watched it from start to finish.

"Donghyuck, why are you so interested in everybody's business?" Seola joked and only when she brought that up did you realize that Hyuck was indeed interested in everybody's business.

"It's because I love all of you, dumbasses," Hyuck announced, even standing up to raise his glass.

Everyone in the table cheered in agreement. Who's to say he was lying? None of you could ever because you all know it was Donghyuck who was always checking in on each of you, always making plans to meet, and keeping the friendship alive. Donghyuck is the foundation of this friend group.

You went out for some fresh air after hiurs of sitting there with your friends, laughing and going through bottles and bottles of alcohol. You were trying to sober up a bit and you were wondering if you should go home. Jeno joined you a little later, breathing in the cool air as he tucked his hands in his jacket.

"Hey," he greeted in a prolonged manner.

"Hey," you smiled back at him. "Congratulations again, by the way. She's such a lovely woman."

"I know," he chuckled. "I got lucky."

You just smiled, taking in more of the night air. The streets were bright but it wasn't as busy as it was earlier that night. You started thinking that going home would be smooth without any traffic.

"It's been so long since we last talked to each other," he pointed out and you nodded. Although he was present at your father's funeral several months ago, he didn't get the chance to say anything to you other than utter his condolences. "I wish I could hang out with all of you more often. On the rare times that I could, it's mostly just with Jaemin and Donghyuck."

"Well, you got busy and I had a lot of things going on in my life too, so..."

"Yeah, you're right," he chuckled. "At least we get to hang out like this. I'm sure I'll get more chance to meet everyone once I'm married. You know, I can worry less about being in public and live a more like any ordinary person."

"Good for you, then," you chimed. "And I'm happy for you. We all are."

"Thank you. Will you come to my wedding? It's in three weeks and the invitations hasn't been sent out yet but I'm inviting you in advance."

"I think I might," you said sheepishly. You were joking about going to his wedding with Jaemin, but now that he's inviting you, you felt shy all of a sudden. It would feel normal if you had kept in contact with him like the rest of your friends, but a long time has passed without any interaction between you. You were wondering if you should be there at all.

"You know, I told Jaemin I'd invite you and he said you don't need a card because you can go as his plus one." You scowled at Jeno upon hearing that.

"He said that?"

Jeno just shrugged and nodded. You imagined being Jaemin's plus one and wondered how the two guys came to a conclusion that you would just agree on it. But then again, you had no reason to disagree or even refuse to go with Jaemin. It's not like you would hate to go with him. In fact, it would be fun to go with either Jaemin or Hyuck. "Is that why he brought it up before?"

"Maybe. You can go together, you know. You look great together. If I didn't know better, I'd assume you were dating because of the way your clothes don't match but kinda matched. Your vibes are just syncing effortlessly. It's adorable."

His implication was loud and clear but you just laughed it off. "I'll be there. Maybe as Jaemin's plus one, or maybe not. But I'll be there. You wouldn't let your first love miss the best day of your life, would you?"

Jeno laughed heartily and you felt proud about making a good joke. "Of course, my first love can't miss my wedding. You better prepare a hefty cash gift."

"Look at this chaebol ripping peoplenoff," you ridiculed.

"We're spending quite a lot on that wedding. Pay us back."

"Ugh, now I'm rethinking if I should go or not."

Jeno laughed, glancing back to the cafe when his fiancee called his name. "I'm kidding. You better be there, alright?"

"Yeah, yeah," you said dismissively shooing him away but he was already running back to the cafe.

As you watched, you saw Jaemin make his way towards you. You were feeling drowsy, but you stayed standing as you waited for him to reach you. Then when he was within your reach, you said, "I heard you needed a date for the wedding and you picked me."

Jaemin chuckled, his cheeks a bit flush due to alcohol. "Nah, I'm pretty sure you're the one who's gonna do the picking because Hyuck is also dateless."

"Ah, so I still get to make the decision. Good to know."

"If you choose me, I'll pay the wedding gift for you," Jeamin challenged and you nodded, showing an expression that tells him you were considering it.

"Tempting. But I'll have to see what Hyuck is willing to wager."

"Probably a dress. I heard him say, but I'm pretty confident you'd like me more."

You scoffed. "Now I want to pick him just to spite you."

Jaemin fake heart attack and you just scoffed loudly as he pretended to fall over. He laughingly stood up. "Come on. Don't be mean to me."

"Stop copying my style! People are starting to think we're dating," you chided, but he just shrugged.

"It's either we both have good taste or stores are just selling the same colors everywhere."

You laughed as you both walked back to the cafe. Your friends soon left and as usual, you and Jaemin decided to go home together. The cafe was near the condo and you were both a little drunk so you decided to just walk there. You were clutching your bag clumsily as you staggered on the sidewalk so Jaemin offered his arm for you to hold on to and you latched on it like your life depended on it, uttering a soft 'thanks'. You felt steadier like that and warmer with his body close to yours. For a while you just walked quietly before he started asking questions.

"How's your mom?" he asked, adding, "Mine told me they went to a spa last week."

You grinned. "Yeah mine said the same thing. She's doing great. She still refused to leave town or sell the house, insisting that Dad's memory lived there. I'd love for the house to remain there too but I'm worried about her being alone."

"You can always visit her. It's not that far."

"Right. I should visit more often."

Jaemin sighed. "What about work? Anything new?"

"Not really. The anniversary events are what keeps me busy these days. Other than the cooking show today, there's nothing noteworthy." You fished your phone from your bag when it started ringing. It was Heejin and you answered it right away. "Hi. Did you get home alright?"

"Yes, but this thing won't work," she grumbled and you couldn't see what's going on but you could hear her frustration in her voice.

"What is it?"

"My passcode. I forgot my passcode. My house is threatening to lock me out."

"It's 112799," you told her, rolling your eyes and silently judging her for forgetting it each time she gets drunk.

"Thanks," she muttered before hanging up. You just grimaced at the phone before chucking it back into your purse.

"Heejin?"

"Yeah, she forgot her passcode. It happens all the time."

Jaemin nodded. "It's amazing how you stayed close all these years."

"We literally grew up together. I'd say we don't have a choice," you said in faked indifference. It made Jaemin laugh. "I'm kidding. She's my sister from another mother. My apartment was actually her cousin's. She hooked me up with her and I was able to rent it for a good price."

"Isn't it amazing how out of all the apartments in Seoul, and all the floors in that building, we ended being neighbours?" he asked and you nodded, unconsciously nuzzling closer to him when the wind blew.

"I know. It's a small world."

"No, it's actually a big world. A huge one. It's actually fate that brings things to cross paths at one point. Like an invisible string. In our case, our paths crossed so much that we became a part of each other's lives and by extension, a small part of each other."

You giggled. "It's beautiful how you worded things. You could be a poet." You saw him smile shyly at the compliment but then you added. "Yunseo has a nice way with words too. You two would get along well."

"We already get along."

"Yeah, but like, in a romantic way. She likes you and she actually asked me to set you up together. You should go out sometime," you were blabbering so much and didn't even notice that Jaemin has stopped walking. You were holding on to him so you were forced to stop too. He took your arm off of his and took a few steps away. "What? It's true Yunseo likes you. She told me herself. I'm not just randomly making decisions for her."

"No, but you're making decisions for me," he said pointedly and the annoyed look on his face made you shy.

"Sorry. Alcohol unzipped my mouth."

"So you're saying it because you're drunk? You're not serious about setting me up with another girl?"

While you were confused about the purpose of the question, you still replied. "No, not really. I think I just said it because I have nothing else to say."

"Good because I'm not interested in anyone else."

His words confused you but you knew deep it inside that the message was clear. He is interested in you. Yet you told yourself that your drunk mind is giving you false signals. When you realized he stopped right in front of your building so you pointed at it and started skipping to the entrance. Jaemin just followed you with an absent-minded smile.

You rarely bumped into Jaemin in the building because obviously, your schedules are different. When you do, it is often at the elevator which is still rare. Today just decided to be different. You stepped out of your unit at the same time and you had no excuse to avoid getting in the elevator with him. He didn't spare your conflicted feelings and you were sure it was because he had no idea you were even conflicted in the first place. Especially after he said, "I finally caught you. Sometimes I try to leave earlier or a little later just to see if we'd bump into each other but we never did. It's been like four months since you moved here but we barely saw each other."

"We see each other a lot actually," you laughed after pointing that out.

"I know but I meant here in the building."

"You're right." You separate ways quickly, getting into your car as soon as you spotted it in the parking lot and running off with a hurried goodbye.

To say you escaped was an understatement but you had to if you want to stop thinking about things that would make your friendship weird. Unbeknownst to you, Jaemin was on his own league of making sure you see each other at least once a day.

You walked in to Nana's Cafe confidently on a Tuesday, knowing he won't be there. But Jaemin's radiant smile welcomed you, accompanied by a nice piece of heart-shaped cookie. When you refused to go to the cafe on a Wednesday, he dropped by your office to hand-deliver lunch. You avoided going to the cafe at all but you found him outside your office building waiting for you to get off work. On the weekend, he knocked on your door early to give you a cup of warm coffee. It went on for days and you had gotten used to the teasing from your coworkers and the assumptions about him being your boyfriend. You wanted several times to confront him but you didn't want to be the first to bring it up, after all, you're still arguing with yourself that he is just being a nice friend like usual. But it doesn't help that the text messages that previously looked like a food promotion chatbox is now filled with selfies of him with updates on what he's doing that day.

"Oh my god. I knew it. He likes you," Heejin announced clapping her hands triumphantly. You had invited her and Seola over after days of taking unsolicited but appreciate advices from Yunseo and Jaehee. You never shared your part of the story with them because you don't think you're close enough for it. So you decided to seek Heejin and Seola and pour your heart out to them.

"But he didn't say that," you insisted.

"He was showing it. You know Jaemin. He prefers showing his feelings more than talking about them," Seola pointed out so you crossed your arms over your chest and turned to her.

"If he can say all these fancy things and subtle hints about liking me, I think he can very well say he likes me straight to my face," you retorted then Heejin and Seola comically nodded in unison.

"That makes sense. How about talking to him about it?"

You scowled. "What? Like confront him?"

"Yeah."

"No. I can't. I don't want to. Confrontations scare me."

"Then maybe telling you he likes you straight to your face scares him too. You can't just think about yourself in this situation, y/n," Seola insinuated and it made sense so you slumped on your sofa, face first.

"Maybe he really likes you, you know. He could be in love with you too. It's not so strange to think about. You're a catch, don't you realize that?"

"Heejin's right. You're gorgeous. You're smart. You're cute too and you're very caring. Your sense of humor is not that great but you're fun to talk to. Also, although I know he doesn't care about money at all, you're rich and your family background is impressive. Any man would fall for you."

Maybe the idea wasn't so far fetched. Despite your every attempt to deny it, Jaemin really did show you he liked you even before what happened on the day of Seola's dinner party. He would give you a compliment and a cookie with your coffee. He messaged you everyday and would send you weather updates every morning. When you met outside the building, he always offered to give you a ride even when he knew you have your own car. He had always acted like that and only now are you seeing every sign, clear as day and you can't ignore them. He likes you enough to put in this much effort for you. It keeps repeating in your head. Jaemin likes you.

"What are you so worried for? Don't you like Jaemin?" Heejin asked.

Come to think about it, don't you? You liked his smile. You like how warm it makes you feel and how familiar he seemed to you. You liked hanging out with him, laughing and fooling around and making fun of strangers secretly with him. Ever since you got here, you shared all the good things that happened to you with Jaemin. Now looking back, it seems Jaemin had always been a part of everything that happened to you, good or bad. It's just like the invisible string he mentioned. Except that you have both became a part of each other's life; a piece of each other.

"Does Na Jaemin really like me? Like for real?" you mumbled to yourself, your mind drifting off to more thoughts of him. "Because if he does, don't you think he's too good for me? His smile is so pretty. He's very talented and he's a good cook. Damn, even his laughter is beautiful. His voice, the lines on his cheeks when he grins, the way he's always warm when I'm near him. The way he always cared for my comfort. The way he consistently took care of me and even went out of his way several times for me. He's too good to be true."

Seola and Heejin chuckled before clinking their shotglasses together and taking shots of soju. "She likes him."

You buried your face on your palms and let out a strained shriek. "I think I do.

Part 2

feels like

mark smut + fluff (virgin!reader)

It wasn’t your fault you didn’t check the weather forecast that morning before you left for work.

As you stared up at the dark, angry sky, you contemplated the easiest way to get into your apartment building unscathed by the pelting rain. Instead of making a run for it, you sulked in your car, letting out a frustrated sigh.

You suddenly felt your phone buzz, and the face of your newly acquired boyfriend lit up the screen.

“Mark?” You answered his call, a hint of desperation evident in your voice.

“Are you okay, Y/N? Usually you’re back by now, so I already let myself in.”

You smiled warmly. It had only been a few months since you’d started officially seeing each other, but you felt so drawn to him immediately. He made you feel loved, safe and so happy. It was almost like a spare copy of your apartment key had just spontaneously made itself and appeared in your hands for you to give to him last week.

And boy, were you glad for it right now.

“Mark, can you do me a huge favor? I need you to grab my umbrella and bring it out to the parking lot. I’m going to get so soaked on my way in.”

Mark laughed.

“Of course, just give me a second, okay?”

Within moments, your boyfriend came into view, holding your travel umbrella precariously over his head in the windy storm. You steeled your nerves and quickly threw open your car door, taking off into a run towards him. Mark smiled and laughed, amused at your urgency.

“It’s just a little rain, Y/N,” he joked, calling out to you before you landed in his waiting arms.

Even your desperate sprint wasn’t enough to save you from getting drenched, your dripping clothes and skin clinging to your boyfriend’s jacket. When he stood for a moment without moving, you pushed against his chest.

“What are you waiting for, get inside!” You urged, huddling as close as possible to him.

Mark laughed again and pulled you close, teasingly hovering the umbrella just out of your reach for a moment before returning it over your head.

———

“If I catch a cold, it’s going to be your fault,” you huffed, ringing out your soaked hair in the kitchen sink. “From now on, I’m revoking your ‘holding the umbrella’ privileges.”

Mark smiled, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind and pressing a kiss to your cheek,

“You know I’ll be here to take care of you,” he mumbled. “No promises on changing my umbrella technique, though.”

You playfully swatted at his arms, laughing as he quickly tickled at your sides before releasing you to resume your work.

It had taken you a moment to remember that your clothes were completely soaked through. The drenched garments clung to your figure, and your white shirt became particularly see-through.

You turned to face Mark, finding him staring at you intently. You met his gaze and found the most adorable blush dust across his cheeks.

“Oh, don’t mind me— just enjoying the view,” he murmured.

Now it was your turn to blush. You had never undressed in front of Mark before. In fact, there were a lot of things you’d never done before. But the way he looked at you and the way the flirtatious comment rolled so easily off his tongue made you want to try.

Mark sensed something off in your reaction, and immediately backpedaled.

“You should get changed, love. You’re really going to get sick if you keep those on,” he said, a comforting smile gracing his features.

You felt a feeling of boldness bubble up inside your chest. You sucked in a quiet breath.

“Do you… want to help me take these off?” You whispered, letting your eyes meet his and impart your desires where your words lacked. Mark’s eyes widened in return, eyebrows raised at your sudden boldness.

“I mean, yes… yes please,” he purred. His tone shifted, only slightly to one of gentle concern. “Are you sure?”

You held his gaze, without faltering.

“Yes,” you breathed, pulling him in for a passionate kiss. “God, yes.”

Mark instantly pulled you impossibly closer, tangling his fingers in your wet hair, kissing you back with a fervent desire. His hands trailed down your back, brushing against your spine. You weren’t sure if your shivers were because of the cold, or the way his skin made contact with your bare back.

You pulled away only slightly, looking him in the eyes again.

“Can we do this in my room? I just— I’ve never—“ you sighed. “I’ve never done this before,” you admitted.

Mark smiled sweetly, reaching a hand up to cup your cheek.

“Oh, Y/N,” He pressed another kiss to your lips. “Yes,”he took your hand, allowing you to lead him down the hallway.

You pushed open your door, turning to face him before crashing against his lips again. You ran your fingers through his hair, hoping your enthusiasm would make up for your lack of experience.

Mark took the lead, taking your bottom lip between his teeth and pulling gently before reaching for your waist again.

His nimble fingers slipped underneath your soaked shirt, sliding it up slowly. You pulled away for a moment to help him rid you of the wet garment. Mark’s eyes fell to your lace bra, perfectly showcasing your soft breasts. He let out a gentle puff of air before he reached for them gently.

“Tell me if you need me to slow down or stop, okay?” He whispered sincerely, gingerly caressing your skin. You nodded and placed your hands on top of his, guiding them to your chest.

Mark’s hands cupped your breasts, slowly massaging them and quickly finding your sensitive peaks through the lace. You let out a soft sigh as he began to tease them between his fingers.

“Mark…” you sighed, feeling a warmth begin to form in your core. You pulled him closer to you, and in turn, closer to your bed. He took the hint and pressed your body down into the mattress.

He reached behind your back to unhook the lace garment, and his eyes widened as it fell from your shoulders.

“Y/N… god, you’re so beautiful…” he whispered, thickly.

“Mark, please, I need you so bad,” you responded, placing his hands back on your body.

Mark didn’t waste any more time as he let his fingers stroke your soft skin and attached his lips to your exposed neck. You leaned back and threaded your fingers through his hair, keeping him in place. He sucked hard enough to bruise, soothing your raw skin with the tip of his tongue before continuing down your chest.

He stopped at your perked nipples, looking up at you before taking one into his mouth, sucking and licking at it until he heard you moan.

“Y/N, that is the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard,” he purred. Your face flushed, and you refused to meet his gaze.

“I hope I get to hear that again tonight,” he smiled as he began to lavish the other breast with the same attention.

You felt a slickness begin to blossom between your legs, and suddenly your wet jeans became even more uncomfortable than they were before.

“Please, get these clothes off me,” you begged, scratching lightly at his shoulders.

Mark complied, carefully unzipping your jeans and sliding them down your legs. His fingers brushed against your thighs, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

He took a moment to take in your beauty— topless, flushed, soaked panties, and pert nipples. He’d never been harder in his life, he thought.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered.

You felt your heartbeat race as more of your clothes came off, almost entirely exposing yourself to him. You reached forward and slipped your hands underneath his hoodie, urging him to take it off.

He complied, swiftly removing the garment over his head. You immediately pulled him closer, running your hands over his exposed chest and shoulders.

“You’re beautiful too, you know,” you whispered, giggling softly. Mark smiled into your shoulder, leaving kisses there before pulling back to look into your eyes.

“Y/N, I want you to tell me if anything is uncomfortable, or if I’m going too fast, okay? Promise me?”

You nodded, kissing him gently. Mark smiled, and carefully prompted you to spread your legs.

“Tell me if it’s too much,” he hummed, softly tracing the outline of your folds through your thin, soaked panties. You shifted your hips slightly, swallowing hard as he found your clit and began to circle it.

Your breathing began to quicken as he continued with his agonizing pace, softly teasing you.

“Mark, please,” you whined, grinding down into his touch. Mark laughed softly.

“Okay, okay,” he cooed. His fingers hooked into the waistband of your panties and slowly slid them down your thighs, exposing your dripping center.

You felt the urge to close your legs, suddenly embarrassed at him staring so intently at your most intimate area. Mark’s hands gently coaxed your thighs back open.

“Don’t be shy, love,” he murmured.

You shifted again, relaxing your hips and allowing your legs to fall open for him.

“That’s it,” he whispered, soothingly tracing your skin. He began to lower himself down onto the mattress until his lips were inches away from your core.

“Can I?” He requested, soft breaths fanning across your flaring heat.

You nodded quickly, sucking in a shallow breath.

Mark smirked and slowly licked a stripe up your folds.

“A-ah!” You sighed, squirming already at his touch.

Mark eased your thighs over his shoulders and held you in place while he gave a gentle suck on your most sensitive peak.

“M-Mark, oh god,” you jolted at the unfamiliar sensation, but immediately found yourself longing for more.

“Let me know if it’s too much, okay?” He soothed, diving back in with gentle fervor.

You threw your head back onto the pillows as he began to suck and lick mercilessly at your heat, fingers massaging your inner thighs.

A gasp escaped your lips as his tongue began to flicker quickly across your clit, your hips bucking off the mattress. Mark’s hands held you in place, not allowing you to shy away from the pleasure.

Your breaths became ragged and heaving in between long, languid moans. You could almost feel Mark smiling as he kissed and hummed against your sensitive center.

“Mark, I-I’m getting close,” you whispered, locking your legs around his shoulders. You slid you eyes closed and focused on the feeling.

His lips closed around your sensitive peak once more, sucking hard and circling it with the tip of his tongue. The sensations became too much as his mouth pushed you over the edge for the first time.

“M-Mark!” You cried, feeling him tease you through your orgasm as your walls fluttered around his tongue.

Your chest heaved with uneven breaths as you came down from your high. You opened your eyes and saw Mark’s smiling face looking up at you from between your legs, his lips glistening with your release.

“Felt good?” He murmured, gently stroking your thighs. You giggled softly.

“God, yes,” you ran your fingers through his slightly disheveled hair, tucking a few strands behind his ear. “But, I want to make you feel good too, Mark,” you whispered, scratching lightly at his scalp.

Mark’s eyes were gentle yet full of lust. He knew exactly what you wanted from him.

“Are you sure, Y/N? I don’t want to hurt you.”

You looked into his eyes and leaned forward to press a kiss to his lips.

“Yes. I’ve never been more sure of anything,” you promised.

Mark released you from his hold and crawled back up to kiss your neck.

“Okay, love,” he murmured. “We’ll take it slow, okay?”

You nodded, pulling him close and tracing your fingers across his bare back. You felt him grind his clothed hips gently across your core, and you felt him.

“Just do it, Mark,” you begged, palming him through his sweatpants.

He hissed as he felt your touch, and his reaction sent another wave of arousal through you.

You quickly freed his length from his clothes, and you tried to hide your intimidated reaction as best you could. He was bigger than you expected.

Mark sensed your hesitation immediately.

“We don’t have to do this now,” he murmured, gently stoking your cheek. You shook your head.

“No, I want to. Please?” You asked, looking up at him with confident eyes. Mark leaned in to kiss you slowly.

“Okay. Please stop me if it hurts, Y/N,” he said. “Promise?”

You caught his lips in another quick kiss.

“Promise.”

Mark nodded and carefully returned to your core, swiping his fingers along your folds before inserting one slowly.

You winced slightly at the unfamiliar sensation but quickly relaxed in his gentle hold.

“You okay?” He asked, gently making a ‘come hither’ motion with his index finger inside your walls.

You gasped, nodding quickly, adjusting to the feeling before he added another finger.

“God, you’re so wet, Y/N…” Mark leaned in close to whisper in your ear as his fingers sped up. You could hear a the faint sound of your arousal coating his digits.

“I’m ready, Mark, I promise,” you huffed, your breathing growing heavy again.

Mark placed a kiss behind your ear and trailed down your neck before removing his hand. A string of your wetness clung to his fingers, and he immediately dragged them across your swollen clit. You squirmed, waiting for him to give you what you really wanted.

“Mark…” you whined, shifting your hips impatiently.

“Alright, pretty girl. Just relax for me, okay?” He murmured, spreading your legs a bit wider and positioning himself at your entrance.

You braced yourself as you felt his tip against your folds. You unconsciously tensed a bit, preparing for the impact.

“Relax,” Mark whispered soothingly, massaging the backs of your thighs. “I got you, okay?”

You nodded and released the tension in your hips.

“Good girl,” Mark purred, feeling your muscles relax.

You hissed at the quick, dull pain as he began to push into you. You couldn’t help the quiet whimper that left your lips as you felt him stretch your entrance for the first time.

“Are you okay? Do you need me to stop?” He asked, running his fingers through your hair and looking deeply into your eyes.

You shook your head, trying to ignore the tears prickling your vision. Blinking them away, you met his gaze again.

Mark brushed his thumb across your flushed cheek, catching the tears that fell.

“Just a little bit more, you’re doing so well for me, Y/N. Relax and breathe, okay?”

You smiled at him, urging him to continue. He carefully pushed into you again, causing you to let out another whimper.

“I got you, I’m right here, okay?” Mark soothingly stroked your thigh and cupped your cheek, talking you through his every move.

You soon felt his shallow thrusts beginning to bring a slow wave of pleasure to your core, and he slipped a hand down to gently circle your bundle of nerves. You bit your lip and cling to him tightly, your nails digging into his bare shoulders.

“Y/N, you feel so good,” he groaned, losing himself in your tight hold. “Talk to me. What do you need, love?”

Your mouth fell open as he sped up slightly, moving at a still slow but sensual pace.

“I-It feels good,” you cried. “Please, Mark, don’t stop.”

Mark continued his thrusts, holding you close and whispering soft praises in your ear. It wasn’t long until you felt another high approaching.

“I-I’m gonna— I think I’m—“

You moaned softly as your walls fluttered around his length, and simultaneously bringing him to climax along with it.

“Y/N!” Mark cried, pulling out quickly and releasing across your bare stomach.

Mark’s shoulders heaved as he came down from his own high, taking in the sight of you before him. You looked at him and began to laugh.

“Mark… I can’t believe—“ you smiled and pulled him in for a passionate kiss.

Mark beamed at you, his eyes full of love.

“You did so well,” he murmured, stroking your cheek and brushing a few stray hairs away from your face. “My beautiful girl. I’m so lucky to love you.”

You giggled at his words, feeling like you were floating on air. Mark got out of the bed and quickly returned with a warm, wet towel, gently cleaning you up.

You couldn’t deny the dull pain that still ached in your core. Mark saw you wince as you shifted your hips slightly, and reached out to massage your inner thighs.

“I’m sorry, Y/N, did it hurt too bad?” He asked, a bit panicked.

You shook your head.

“No, no— it’s not your fault.”

Mark refused to let go of your gaze, not convinced.

“Let me run you a bath, okay? Your hair is still wet from the rain, we should get cleaned up anyway,” he insisted, carefully removing the wet towel.

You nodded. He was right.

“That sounds amazing,” you sighed, smiling at him.

Mark leaned in for another kiss before heading to the bathroom.

You watched him walk away, then pause and turn to look at you before reaching the bedroom door.

“Hey. I love you.”

You smiled, almost giddy.

“Hey. I love you too.”

fighting dirty | l.mk

❯ summary: your boyfriend has too much pride, which leads to an unnecessary, petty and unresolved argument. too bad the both of you are too stubborn to apologise, resulting in you playing dirty by sending spicy videos to him whilst he’s away.

❯ pairings: mark x fem!reader

❯ genre: established relationship, idol!mark, angst, smut.

❯ words: 3.5k

❯ tags: 18+ minors dni!, smut, slight angst, masturbation, sexting, arguing, dirty talk, phone sex??, sex toys, reader uses she/her pronouns, mark has too much pride and gets all sulky over a dildo.

“What’s with the giant monster cock in your underwear drawer?” Mark spits out, voice deep and even.

Your boyfriend had snuck off into your bedroom, whilst you cleaned up the kitchen. Originally, he was planning on leaving you a cheeky note in your underwear drawer before he left for the weekend; but instead, he comes stomping back into the kitchen moments later with his jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed.

You pause for a beat, more baffled than embarrassed. 

“I… what?” you ask, shutting off the sink and turning to face him. “Why were you in my underwear drawer and why does it bother you what I have in there?”

His jaw twitches but he remains cool. “Didn’t say I was bothered.”

“Well, you seem very bothered,” you scoff.

“Answer my question,” Mark presses further.

“Answer mine,” you argue.

Mark chews the side of his cheek in frustration, “I was trying to be romantic and leave you a surprise for while I’m gone but instead, the thanks I get is discovering my girlfriend is evidently hiding things from me.”

You stare at him in disbelief and offence.

“That’s a strange way to pronounce ‘hey baby, sorry my job takes me away from you for months at a time but I’m glad you’re taking care of your basic human needs,’ you fire back. “‘Oh, and thanks for making dinner for me.’”

He rolls his eyes, “right, because I’m always the one being unreasonable.”

“Yes, that’s exactly what you’re being,” you can’t believe how frustrated you are at this moment. “You couldn’t possibly have been thinking the only time I ever get off when you’re on tour is when you get horny and call me for phone sex?”

“I know you get off, but you didn’t tell me it was like this,” he states incredulously.

Your eyebrows shoot to the sky, “Why the fuck would I tell you?”

“Why wouldn’t you?”

You want to scream. The whole situation was a none issue, so why was your boyfriend being so unnecessarily difficult.

You grit your teeth and try to steer the conversation in a productive direction. “Okay, what did you think I was doing?”

“Not fucking a mythological creature.”

“Mark, it’s not that big.”

“It’s bigger than me.”

“Don’t be so fucking dramatic,” you say sarcastically.

The fight had only gotten nastier from there. He’d accused you of not trusting him enough to share things with him, you’d called him controlling and an asshole; voices were raised, petty remarks exchanged and then he stormed out. 

The next morning, you weren’t surprised by the absence of an apology text; and since you received a message that simply read “arrived” yesterday afternoon, he’d been radio silent.

You and Mark don’t fight often, but when you do, you both go all out. Neither of you likes admitting you’re wrong and neither of you wants to be the one to apologise first, especially in cases like this where you both have things to be sorry for.

Arguments with Mark mean you have to consider every possible outcome before you make a move, and you know he does the same. Which is why you know your plan is so genius, there’s no way he’ll see it coming. 

You had the idea when you were in the shower that morning and it seemed so perfect, you had to laugh; by the time your lunch break ended and you still hadn’t heard from Mark, you had decided to go through with it.

You step into the lingerie he’d bought for you a birthday ago, adjusting it in the mirror until your boobs sit just right in the plunging sheer material. He loves you in white, and you grin at your reflection when you think about how livid he’s going to be only getting to see it under these circumstances.

You grab your phone off the nightstand and walk back over to the mirror, evaluating your lighting and angle options; you snap a few natural photos and then a few that are more posed, arching your back, using the inside of your arms to push your tits together. All the tricks you know he likes. You swipe through your choices, make your pick and fire it off to him with the message.

You 7:28pm 

Mad at you, but not at your taste in lingerie. 

You don’t expect to hear back from him. Not yet anyway.

Mark reaches for his phone on the bed next to him; he’d just gotten back from a short run to clear his head after another largely unproductive writing session. He knew he shouldn’t have left town without resolving everything with you but the things he’d said, the way he acted… there was too much mess to clean up and not enough time. Besides, you definitely owed him some apologies as well — even if he did start by overreacting — the phone worked both ways.

Still, things were at a standstill and it was weighing on him.

He’s surprised to see your name in his notifications but is instantly suspicious when he sees that you’ve sent a photo message. His finger hovers over the screen, not wanting to click on it right away, wanting to make you wait to see the “sent” turn to “read,” wanting to make you wonder if he’s even near his phone. He knows you well enough to know you’re watching.

You toss your phone on the bed and roll your eyes; you know he’s got to be back in his room by now and you’re willing to bet he’s staring your notification down just because he can. You shake your head and start gathering what you need for your next move.

Twelve minutes pass before Mark allows himself to click on your message; your photo loads and he instantly feels his blood pressure rise, for multiple reasons. The sight of you in that low cut, mostly see-through number is every bit as heavenly as he’d hoped it would be when he bought it — only in his fantasy, he would have been there to nibble down your cleavage and mouth over your nipples through the lace before he ripped it off you.

He’s not sure whether to take this photo as an olive branch or a threat but the accompanying text message has him leaning towards the latter and honestly, that’s more exciting to him than if you were trying to make amends. You’ve acted out like this before, and it’s always led to some great makeup sex.

Your intended tone is unmistakable when another message from you automatically loads in the conversation thread; this time it’s a video, along with a text.

You 7:45pm 

Missed saying goodbye to you like this.

Intrigued, he clicks on the video and immediately bolts up from where he was laying. The video begins and the only thing he sees on screen is your empty shower and the dildo he’d found that night, suction cupped to the wall, intimidatingly jutting out.

You enter the frame, still clad in your new lingerie, and get on your knees; he watches in disbelief as your eyes stare directly into the camera and you begin licking up and down the shaft of the toy before swirling your tongue around the head and popping it in and out of your mouth.

Mark is both impressed and shocked at your bold behaviour. The first time he ever left you for a tour, he’d slept over and had to leave at an ungodly hour. He was careful not to wake you in the morning but you’d set your own alarm so you could see him off; you surprised him by hopping into the shower and dropping to your knees and ever since then, the night before he goes away, he stays at yours and you always say goodbye in the morning with a shower blowjob.

You close your eyes and hum as you bob your head up and down, letting the spit collect in your mouth and then dribble out, down both the toy and your body. The loud pop of you pulling off reverberates off the shower tile and you wrap your lips around the synthetic balls, murmuring enthusiastically. 

You pull away from the wall, a single string of spit connecting you to the dildo; you move back up to the shaft and dart your eyes towards the lens once more before closing them as you stretch your mouth down its thickness, taking it in further and further, letting out a few gags because you know it turns him on, even if he swears it doesn’t.

Mark doesn’t even realise he’s holding his phone with such an intense grip until his hand starts cramping up; he switches it to the other hand, shaking his ailing one out, trying to ignore the urge he’s having to rest it near or on the tent in his shorts. He’s fuming that you’re taunting him like this, furious that it’s making him miss you and that anger is going straight to his cock.

He bites his lip as you gag around the toy once more, tears streaming down your cheeks; he knows you think he enjoys it when you gag for him simply because he likes knowing he’s big — but honestly his favourite part about it is how you look up at him when he wipes the tears off your face. It’s the combination of the pure love and adoration in your eyes mixed with the uninhibited desire and lewdness of your mouth sucking at his cock that drives him crazy. So much in fact, he actually wishes there was a way for him to see that in this video.

He notices something and scrubs the video back a few seconds; just as he thought, right before it ends, he sees you spread your legs wider and your right hand disappears off camera. He remembers the lingerie he bought for you was crotchless and he groans quietly, squeezing himself through his clothes as you moan around the dildo.

Blowing Mark always got you wet but without hearing his quiet groans or feeling his fingers gripping your hair, this just wasn’t the same; you love knowing how you affect him, love his lustful affirmations. You lightly rub your clit as you pull off the toy but it’s the thought of you possibly making him hard, making him moan from miles away that has you crying out.    

You send off the video and chuckle to yourself when you notice that he sees it immediately upon delivery. You’re preparing for the final part of your plan when you hear your phone; you’re intrigued to see it’s a text from Mark and you’re too proud of yourself not to click on it right away. 

Mark 7:52pm 

If you’re looking for a reaction, this is as good as you’re going to get.

You purse your lips, thinking of how to respond; you sit your phone down and finish what you were setting up. No harm in making him wait.

Mark’s cock twitches with interest in his shorts as he watches the video again; he pauses the clip to check the thread, to make sure you hadn’t replied back. 

Of course, you hadn’t. 

He loves and hates that you know him well enough to know this would get a reaction from him; and he loves and hates that he feels desperate enough to give it to you.

The phone vibrates in his hand and he swears he feels himself get harder in anticipation of what he might be clicking on.

You 7:55pm

It got you talking to me, didn’t it?

He scoffs at your smugness and his mind races to construct a biting comeback when your next message comes through.

You 7:56pm

Since I’m feeling pretty accomplished. Think I’ll reward myself :)

Mark’s heart pounds as he wonders what that could possibly mean and he begrudgingly presses his palm to his crotch, applying pressure to his throbbing cock. A video loads into the thread, a shorter one this time, and he clicks on it with a bated breath.

Your face fills his screen, eyes wide with equal parts mischief and lust. 

“I keep thinking about the other night, how it’s too bad you decided to leave,” you say. 

He has to dip his hand inside his shorts and give himself a light squeeze when he hears your voice sounding so heavy with want. 

“Things between us were so hostile, we were both so… heated? I feel like if you’d stayed only a little bit longer, things could’ve easily been resolved by you bending me over.”

He groans and begins slowly stroking himself as he watches you prop the phone on the counter and step away to reveal that you’ve lined it up to perfectly capture your large dildo, shiny and lubed up, suctioned to the side of the kitchen island.

You bend forward, tits gracefully spilling out of that damn bra he picked out, and reach behind you to guide the large toy inside you. You lick your lips as you back up on it, slight whines escaping your throat as it stretches and fills you in ways that remind you of how it feels when he’s inside of you.

You start off slowly, letting yourself adjust to the girth but it doesn’t take long for your need to get the best of you, and you pick up the pace, throwing yourself back on the toy at a more intense speed. You let your noises fall freely from your lips, hoping your boyfriend knows that in your mind you’re making them for him, imagining it’s his cock that’s making you feel this way, wishing his large hands were covering your ass like they always do when he has you like this.

Mark growls in frustration when the video ends a few seconds later; surely, this can’t be the end of your torture. But what if it is, what if your plan was to get him to break and text you and then you’d make your point by leaving him desperate for you like this? 

If it was your plan — his cock sure as fuck knows it’s working.  

Minutes that feel like hours pass without another message from you and he hates giving you the satisfaction of another response from him but he feels he has no other choice. He finally takes his shorts off and wraps a hand around his cock, thumbing at the beads of precum gathering at the head and spreading it around as he strokes.

It took you longer than you expected to get the angle right for what you’re assuming will be your last video but you’re confident it won’t take much time for you to build yourself up again; you’re looking forward to making up with Mark but you can’t deny how fun this fight has become.

You check your shot on the phone screen one last time and satisfied with what you see, you turn to walk over to the dining room chair where you plan to ride your toy to orgasm. You’ve only made it a few steps when you hear your text notification chime and you stop in your tracks. A second text comes through and you know it has to be him.

You bound back over to your phone and click on the message. 

Mark 8:04pm 

Is this what you wanted?

You take in a sharp breath when a photo of Mark’s cock, leaking and surely aching for attention, loads in the thread. You click on it and focus on how his long fingers are gripping it by the base; it reminds you of how he holds it when he’s teasing it across your lips — when you’re on your knees for him and you’re both aroused and annoyed by how your mouth actually waters.

Mark maintains a light rhythm, mainly using his fingertips to work his shaft; he’s enjoying the tease and doesn’t want to get too far gone until you give him a reason to. He smirks as a new message from you comes in only moments after he’s sent his text. 

You 8:06pm

You must be getting desperate too.

Would rather see you come for me though :(

He grins at your response and laughs under his breath as he types out his reply.

Mark 8:07pm

Then send me something worth coming to.

You scoff loudly at his text and you’re not sure why your instinct is to send him a heart emoji but you go with it. You press the record on your phone and look into the lens. 

“I was sitting in the kitchen last night, thinking about how if you’d stayed, we might’ve sat here and talked things out,” you gesture at the dining table behind you. “I don’t know if we would’ve ended up on the same side or agreeing to disagree… But I do know there’s a good chance I would’ve climbed into your lap when we were done.”

You walk back to the dildo that started this whole thing, now attached to the seat of a chair and you hover over it, teasing your clit on its tip before sinking yourself down on it. You rock your hips moderately, letting yourself get used to the stretch feeling again and then you lean back, bracing a hand on the back of the chair and start working yourself over in earnest. Your free hand tugs at the deep neckline of your lingerie, pulling your tits out, knowing if he were there, he would free them himself just to see them bounce.

Mark groans as he watches the video of you riding your toy, your whines filling his ears deliciously. He sucks his lip in between his teeth, wishing his mouth was capturing one of your nipples instead. He’s fully jerking himself off now and he can tell by the way you’re whimpering and grinding, you’re already close; he tightens his grip, wanting to finish along with you.

Thinking about Mark, alone in his room with his cock in his hand, wanting you, has you feeling needier than you have been in a while. You bounce yourself vigorously up and down your dildo and your hand makes its way down to circle your clit. 

You imagine it’s Mark underneath you: his hands playing with your tits, his strong thighs tensing under yours, his hot breath on your skin, his wrecked voice telling you to come for him. You shudder and feel yourself begin to pulse around the toy; you don’t intend for his name to fall from your lips, but it does.

His phone shakes in one hand as Mark fucks up into the other, watching you tense on his screen, legs shaking and breath uneven; he’s almost certain he hears his name — and he’ll never admit it — but that’s what brings him over the edge. He grunts as his come spills over his fingers and he’s surprised at how loud his voice is; it briefly flashes in his mind that he’s probably just as loud when he’s with you, but usually, his outbursts tend to be muffled by your skin or your kisses. 

You’re still in a post-orgasm haze when your phone alerts you to a new message from Mark; you click to view it and smile sinfully at the sight of your boyfriend’s spent cock laying on his stomach, white thick come covering his skin.

Mark 8:17pm

Happy now?

You think of a quippy reply but then find yourself hitting the call button instead. He picks up before the first ring even finishes sounding.

“What could you possibly have to say to me after that little stunt?” He greets you, words harsh but voice light and sleepy like it always is after sex.

“Made you cum that hard, huh?” You taunt, surprised at how much you’ve missed his voice after just a couple of days.

He lets out an exaggerated huff. “Pretty inconsiderate of you, considering your greedy mouth isn’t here to clean up the mess,” he teases back.

“You know, that’s the one thing my fake cock can’t do, it can’t cover me in come like yours can,” you joke.

He snorts. “Uh-huh. The one thing.”

“By my count, yes.”

“You wanna start fighting again?”

You smile, then sigh. “What was that even about, babe?”

He pauses and you can picture the look of contemplation on his face. “Jealousy? Pride? Guilt? I don’t know,” he admits. “I was already feeling bad about leaving… I always feel bad about leaving. Maybe that just reminded me of how often I leave you. I don’t know.”

It’s quiet for a few seconds. “Didn’t it ever cross your mind that I bought a giant dick because of how much I like yours?” You ask, half-kidding.

Mark laughs softly. “I think this whole thing makes me kind of a giant dick, doesn’t it?”

“I mean…” 

He laughs louder. “I’m sorry, baby.”

You close your eyes and smile. “I know. I’m sorry too.” 

“Oh, not as sorry as you’re gonna be,” he warns playfully.

You grin and feign innocence. “I can’t imagine what you mean by that,” 

“I can admit, I deserved all this,” he states. You can hear the smirk in his voice. “But some of the things you said the other day? You deserve a little retaliation too.”

You bite your lip and sweetly reply, “What time should I expect you home, then?”

the walls are thin | NJM + LJN (M)

Roommate Jeno x fem reader x Roommate Jaemin

Summary: both Jaemin and Jeno have always had a thing for you and were never shy about it either. You always play hard to get, but all of your playing was going to catch up with you sooner or later.

Warnings: sexual content, dubcon themes, porn with little plot, horrifically Jaemin biased (it just happened that way), unprotected sex, kitchen sex, oral (male and fem receiving), degrading, praising, voyeurism, exhibitionism (if you squint), snowballing, mean dom jeno, soft dom Jaemin, literally just filth, proofread but may still contain errors

Word count: 7,4k

A/N: I had a completely different idea for this pairing, but I didn't like here it was going so I completely scrapped it and came up with this. Hope y'all like it it's my first time writing a 3some dynamic so be patient with me lol. Also I wanna try a new picture situation for fics soooo yeah idk if I'll be doing it for long. Probably just for multiple members fics. Pics aren't mine. Feedback is welcomed as always this was long overdue I was supposed to post this days ago

The walls are pretty thin in your apartment, which is why you're so grateful when everyone is gone. You can't escape the constant sounds of your roommates laughing, talking, doing God knows what. You enjoy the peace and quiet, especially at night. The only drawback is that there is virtually no privacy.

You can't count the amount of times both Jeno and Jaemin asked you about conversations you had with people on the phone the night before. It always left you a bit shocked and freaked out. They never told you how much they heard or knew, just that they heard you. And on mornings like this - ones where you wake up groggy from getting yourself off - they never skip a beat to tell you they heard you.

"You're really loud at night you know," Jaemin said, pouring milk in his cereal.

"What are you talking about?" You yawned, covering your mouth with your hand. It's a Saturday, which means you have nothing but time to spare.

"When you're touching yourself. You should do a better job at keeping quiet," Jeno answered as he walked into the kitchen.

"Why were you listening?" Your tone was monotonous, still trying to fully wake up from your sleep. Nothing they said had any impact on you anymore. Their non-stop flirting and crude comments don't make you cringe and squirm like they used to, completely used to whatever games they were constantly trying to play.

"I didn't have a choice," Jaemin said, mouth full of cereal.

"We always have choices in life." You leaned on the edge of the counter, crossing your arms. Jeno brushed his hair back, biceps bulging in his right long sleeve top. It was no secret that even though you kept turning them down, they were eye candy. When you told your friends about them, they wondered how you were going to live with 2 men that looked like they were meant to be male strippers.

It's easy for you, really. Just get to know them. Getting to know people always helps get rid of the initial attraction, and they definitely made it easy. Except it came back 10 times stronger. And you really didn't mean for it to happen really, it just happened, and you're annoyed that it happened. But is it really your fault?

"Just how you made a choice to come out completely naked," Jeno questioned, looking you up and down.

"I'm wearing a tank top and shorts. Be serious." You rolled your eyes, pushing yourself off the counter. You turned around, reaching up to get a bowl only to be pressed against the counter again

"Let me help you out," Jeno said in your ear. He pressed himself against you, pushing his bulge into your ass. Jeno grabbed the bowl out of your hand, setting it down in front of you with the sweetest smile. "And I meant in other ways that don't involve getting bowls from cabinets."

Jeno backed away from you, and for the first time you can confidently say you didn't want him to move. But he'll never know that. Neither of them will ever know the effect they have on you for as long as you're in the same household. But sometimes you really wonder if it's worth it, not letting them touch you in the ways you want. Not letting them do whatever they wanted whenever they wanted. It didn't really matter anyways, they're just 2 people out of the 8 billion on the planet.

"You are so spoiled you know that."

You jump, surprised at the sound of Jaemin's voice near your ear. You forgot he was still in the kitchen being lost in thought about Jeno's body pressed against yours. "What do you mean by that?"

"You have 2 guys constantly trying to fuck you, and you keep refusing," he says, chuckling softly. "It's honestly annoying."

You rolled your eyes pouring cereal in your bowl. "Then stop. I keep refusing and you keep coming back."

"But I like the chase."

You turned around, immediately being faced with Jaemin's eyes being directly on your tits. His gaze made you feel small sometimes, always looking at you like you were a piece of meat. But you liked the way he looked at you. They way his gaze would linger, never shy to tell you exactly what he wanted with no words.

"All men like chasing," you replied, pouring the milk in your bowl.

"Not as much as me. When I catch you, you'll be wishing I didn't," he mumbled.

"You're funny."

"I've been told. And I tend to laugh women right out of their clothes." His witty responses never fail to amaze you. He always had a response for everything, never speechless although sometimes you wish he was.

You turned around, leaning on the counter as you shoved a spoon full of cereal in your mouth. "You know," you started, "sometimes I wish the 2 of you were man enough to do something."

Jaemin raised his brow, crossing his arms. "Is that some kind of challenge?"

"No, just a thought. I'm going to my room." You walked out the kitchen and down the tiny hallway, already hearing Jeno's music through the walls. You wish you weren't so evil, but there would be no fun in your life. Because as much as you tell them to stop, you just want them to keep telling you over and over again how much they want it, how much they need you.

"If you ever need help, remember I'm next door," Jaemin called out behind you.

"Never gonna happen."

-

"Fuck, come on!"

You've been playing video games since your conversation with Jaemin ended, and honestly you wish you hadn't even started. You've been doing nothing but yelling at your screen and pounding your desk. And you just so happened to get knocked out again.

"I can't take this shit anymore," you groaned, cradling your head in your arms. Just as you were about to throw your headset off, you heard a knock on your door. "Come in."

Jaemin walked in, face puffy like he just woke up from a nap. But you couldn't even keep looking at his face, not when he was wearing that one shirt that made him look bigger than he already was. And- oh. He wasn't wearing anything under his basketball shorts, was he?

"You're too loud." His voice was deep and groggy, the sound of it going straight to your core.

"Sorry. This game is just-"

"Annoying? I've heard you say that millions of times already. Just stop playing it." Jaemin leaned on your door frame, shaking his hair from his face. It was taking everything in you to not say what you wanted to. He's attractive and he knows it. He knows what he does to you and it drives you insane. "Just keep it down okay?" Jaemin turns on his heels, walking out of your room, door knob in his hand.

"I'll try. You know how I get when I'm stressed."

Stressed. That was all he heard. "You're stressed?"

"Yeah, just a little," you admit.

"Let me help you," he said, coming back into your room.

You turned around in your chair, raising your brow at his statement. "And how would you do that?"

Jaemin walked up to you, looking down at you with sleepy and lustful eyes. Silence filling the space between you. He needed you, even when he felt like he was gonna pass out. And he would take any chance to get you, only if you would let him. "Let me give you the best head in your life."

The request shouldn't have turned you on as much as it did, but the slight twitch of your right leg whenever you were turned on would always betray you. You scanned his face, eyes moving down his body. "Are you hard?"

"Yeah," he answered honestly. "But you don't have to do anything. I promise."

"I wasn't planning on it," you answered, turning around.

"You still didn't answer my question."

"You didn't ask me a question."

"Can I please eat you out," Jaemin repeated as if he was sounding out a word. You could hear the smile in his voice, knowing that if you turned back around, he would be looking at you with that shit eating grin he always does to get his way.

"I doubt you could find the clit, let alone make me cum."

Jaemin snickered at your statement, turning your chair around to face him. "Wanna bet?"

"I'm not letting you anywhere near her, especially not when Jeno's in the other room," you deny.

"Jeno would sleep through a war if he could. I think we'll be okay."

Jaemin smiled to himself watching you turn your chair back around to face your monitor.

"You know that's a lie, and I said what I said." You felt a small piece of you die inside when Jaemin crawled under your desk, face directly in between your legs. He couldn't help himself, and he knew there would only be so many times you pushed him away. But you're so predictable, it's almost funny. You love his sleepy voice and his puffy face, and the only reason he knows this is because you can't speak quietly on the phone.

He would listen to your conversations, listen to the way you talked about him, the things you said about him to your friends. He knows you're two faced, telling him one thing and saying another to other people. Jaemin doesn't know if it's a mistake, especially because you out of all people know how thin the walls are, but he doesn't care.

Jaemin pushed your legs open, half lidded eyes staring at your clothed cunt. "I swear you wore these just to provoke me," he mumbled.

"J-Jaemin wait.." you were completely overwhelmed, a little taken back with how fast things were moving. But the way his hands traveled from your legs to your ass was almost enough to make you forget the kind of game you were playing with him.

Jaemin pulled you closer to him, hands gripping you as he buried his face between your legs. "God, you smell so fucking good," he said, inhaling deeply. "I bet you taste even better."

At this point, you were sure Jeno could hear every word coming out his mouth. It shouldn't have turned you on so much, but it did. Was he listening? Is he jealous, mad it's Jaemin who got to you first? Was he touching himself to the thought of you? You wanted to see. You wanted to hear him. You wanted-

"Stop thinking about him." He practically growled.

You gulped, brows shooting to your forehead. "W-what?"

"I know you're wondering if he's really sleeping, if he can hear you." Jaemin's nose nudged on your clothed bud making you gasp softly. "You don't have to wonder. These walls are paper thin."

You didn't protest when he pulled your shorts and panties to your ankles, brian too preoccupied with the fact that you were about to get eaten out after a long time. But even in these circumstances, you couldn't pause your shit talking. "Still don't think you can make me cum."

Jaemin let out a soft chuckle. He didn't answer you or say anything, just pulled you to the edge of your seat and attached his mouth to your core like a moth to a flame. His tongue moved slowly at first, lapping at all your arousal. His nose nudged against your clit, making you shudder as you let out a soft sigh. But you can't give him the satisfaction yet, so you hold it back. You don't look down at him, you do anything to distract yourself from the man between your legs.

Jaemin doesn't care about your attempts to ignore him, all he cares about is proving you wrong like he always does. His thumbs massage the insides of your thighs as he grips your legs tight savoring every feel of the soft flesh. The speed of Jaemin’s tongue quickened as his eyes trailed up your body, his nose continuously nudging your clit. He can hear how much you're trying to stifle your moans not wanting him to know how much you like it.

"Let me hear you."

You kept your mouth closed, biting your lip hard as he continued licking at you. But when he directed his attention to your clit, a reluctant whine escaped your lips. You could feel Jaemin smile against your skin, knowing that you already lost the game you were trying so hard to win. You peeked under your desk for a millisecond only to make direct eye contact with him as he sucked your clit softly. He sucked harder, making you roll your eyes back at the sudden sensation.

"It feels good, doesn't it?"

You still didn't answer, closing your eyes to avoid meeting his own. Jaemin flicked his tongue against you faster than before. You were way too sensitive at this point, every movement he made pulling you closer and closer to an orgasm. But you couldn't cum just yet, not when that was the only thing you were fighting to not do. But god, it just felt so good, too good.

"If you're gonna ignore me, I'm gonna stop," he said.

"N-no." That was the first thing you said in a while. You couldn't believe it, but you needed him to keep going. You wanted him to keep going. Haven't felt the touch of a man in months, this felt like heaven.

"Then say it," he said.

"Say what?"

"What do you want me to do?

"Keep..eating me out.. obviously."

Jaemin chuckled, running his fingertips along your skin, sending shivers down your spine. "I'm already doing that. Tell me what you want me to do Y/N."

His tone was softer, less demanding than before. And now you knew what he was getting at. You knew what he wanted you to say, but you didn't want to give into him too easily. But you needed this so bad. "Make me cum," you answer quietly, voice trembling slightly.

"Say that again. I don't think Jeno heard you clear enough," he teased. You shook your head, refusing to speak. He placed a kiss on your clit, laughing softly when you let out a small sigh. "Are you a good girl?"

Reluctantly, you nodded your head, heat rushing to your face.

"Then say it again."

"Make me cum."

"Of course. Anything for you." Jaemin went at you like a starved man, licking and sucking and kissing every part of you, not leaving a single area untouched. You couldn't force yourself to stay quiet, not when only his tongue was working such wonders on you. Your hands naturally made their way to his hair, pushing it back to see his face better. Jaemin's eyes stared right into yours, eyes blown with lust.

"J-Jaemin," you whimpered softly as he flicked his tongue fast on your sensitive bud. He moaned, licking and slurping up your arousal while pulling your body closer to his. At this point, your hips were starting to fall off the edge of the seat. "I-I'm gonna fall, Jaemin."

Jaemin swiftly adjusted you on your seat, mouth never leaving you. He looked up at you, lids low. The sounds filing the room were sinful, the slurping sounds coupled with both of your moans making your head spin. Your hands tugged at his hair softly at every movement of his tongue.

"I bet you need something in you, don't you?" Jaemin's voice went from your ears right to your cunt. He smiled to himself watching you squeeze around nothing, desperate for anything. "How do my fingers sound?"

"Good Jaemin, fuck," you sighed, almost a little too quickly.

"Someone's a little excited," he laughed. "A little too excited for someone who told me I couldn't make her cum."

Jaemin lined two fingers up, pushing them into you slowly. You could almost cry at the feeling, so sensitive anything could send you over the edge. "M-more," you begged.

Jaemin raised a brow, wicked smile on his lips. "You want another one?"

"Please.."

Jaemin added a third finger, pumping them slowly. Sometimes, he's grateful that he loves giving pleasure, especially because of moments like this. You were so pretty above him, moaning out his name and practically melting in front of him. Your hard, stubborn exterior practically shattered as soon as he put his hands on you. It's funny how fast he got you to beg for him even though he knew how bad you wanted it already.

Jaemin licked at your clit while pumping his fingers inside you with a mission, a look of pure bliss spread over your face. "You're so pretty," he breathed out. "I always thought you were pretty."

You couldn't say anything, especially not when he started to finger you faster and his tongue slowed, arousal leaking all over your gaming chair. Your moans and whimpers started to grow in volume. There was no way you could stay quiet enough for Jeno not to hear now. Jaemin sucked your clit hard, making you groan loudly, tugging at his hair. "Jaemin you're gonna make me cum," you whimpered.

"I thought I couldn't." He pumped his fingers in and out quicker, grinning as you came closer and closer. "Maybe I should stop."

"J-Jaemin do not f-fuckin stop." You're brows knit, breath increasing every time he pumped his fingers in and out of you. A tight ball formed in your stomach, muscles beginning to tense under his touch. Jaemin gave your clit one hard lick, making you fall apart instantly. You came on his fingers, clenching on them tightly as you let out a shaky moan.

"That's it, let it out," he cooed. "You did so well for me Y/N."

Jaemin took his fingers out of you, sucking them while staring into your eyes. Your hazy expression was making him go crazy, and he knew he shouldn't keep going but he really couldn't help himself.

Jaemin threw your legs over his shoulders, latching his arms over them before you could move away. "This will be quick okay."

You whined when his tongue came in contact with you again, wiggling its way in your core. Jaemin moaned softly, tasting your cum on his tongue. Your weak pushes at his head were cute, so cute that he had to keep going.

"Jaemin please," you whined,"I..I can't.."

He kept staring at you, not intending to move away or stop. "Be a good girl and cum for me." His tongue was attacking your clit at this point, moving over the bud too fast for you to keep up. Jaemin's grip was so strong you couldn't even squirm away from the chair if you wanted to. He sucked hard, the feeling shooting through your body making your hands and legs weak.

Your body trembled when you came again, soft cries of curses spilling from your lips. And Jaemin still didn't stop. He licked up every single drop, not wanting to waste a bit. He didn't know when you were going to let him do this again even though he knew you would come back to him eventually. At this point, he was pretty sure he was addicted to the taste of you, scent of you, just you.

Jaemin finally loosened the grip on your legs, letting them fall off his shoulders. The both of you were breathing heavily since the adrenaline was still rushing. He didn't say anything and neither did you even when he came from under the table. Jaemin stood up, large figure looking over you as you tried to catch your breath.

"I'm going in my room," he said,"I'll..see you later."

You let him leave, not saying a word as you slumped in your seat. You were never going to live this moment down, letting him go down on you like that. And practically control you. And now that he's away, you're going to have to be tortured with hearing him touch himself in the next room over.

But all you could really say at the moment was that it in fact was the best head of your life.

It'd been 3 days since Jaemin completely overpowered you, beating you at your own game. And being forced to watch him go on with his day like nothing happened was driving you crazy, especially when he kept dropping little references of the events.

What's even worse is Jeno pretending he didn't hear anything. Pretending you weren't practically screaming Jaemin's name 3 days ago. But he did keep staring at you and you couldn't tell what he was thinking. You never could. Jeno was always good at hiding it until he wanted you to know.

And now you're alone in your apartment with him while Jaemin is at work for the night. The last thing you wanted to be was alone with Jeno, especially when he was in a bad mood like now.

You walked into the kitchen wanting to get something to eat without disturbance, but Jeno was already there. You looked at him, body leaning against the counter with his head in his hand. You and Jeno hadn't really had an actual conversation in 3 days. You were a bit afraid of him saying something that would remind you of the sinful things that took place in your room.

You walked past him, not really paying him any mind, but you could still feel his eyes on your back. And just as you were about to reach into the cabinet, he said something you were definitely not expecting.

"You're such a bitch."

You turned around, brow raised so high it could probably hit the roof. "I'm a what now?"

"You're a bitch," he repeated. Jeno looked at you with a straight face. There was nothing in his body language that suggested that he was doing this to mess with you. He was dead serious.

You squint your eyes, scoffing at his words. "Don't call me a bitch."

Jeno gave you a dry laugh, taking his hand from his face. "You don't think it's bitchy to have sex with your roommate when your other roommate was in the other room?"

"Are you mad it wasn't you," you snapped. You watched as Jeno lifted his body off the counter and walked to you slowly. He placed his arm beside your body, leaning close over yours, a dark smirk written across his face.

"I'm just surprised you gave into him so easily seeing that you deny me all the time." He couldn't keep eye contact with you, especially not when you were in the kitchen in nothing but leggings and that goddamn tank top. The white one you constantly wore with nothing underneath. You knew exactly what you were doing, and that's something Jeno always found attractive about you.

"My eyes are up here," you said, lifting his chin to look at you.

Jeno clicked his tongue annoyed. "You always try to put on this tough act, and it's really annoying."

"Can't be as annoying as this conversation."

"Then walk away, unless you wanna keep having this conversation," he said. You hesitated to move, making Jeno laugh. He pulled you back, pushing you on the counter.

"I was walking away," you said, trying to sound completely unphased when you were completely turned on by it.

"You just love playing hard to get, don't you," he mumbled, leaning into your neck. "You love it when we chase. Don't lie." You didn't speak, you just let him kiss your neck softly. He pressed his body against yours, parting your legs with his knee. Jeno wraps a hand around your neck, chuckling softly when your breath hitches. "I can't believe I was letting you walk around here like this without touching you," he mumbled.

Jenos other hand made its way to your ass, groping you roughly. He watched your face, taking in the slight pleasure you felt being at his mercy. Jeno tightened the hold on your neck slightly, earning a soft gasp from you.

"If you're gonna do something, do it," you grumbled.

"What if I wanna take my time with you hm? I bet you'd like that. I mean, you did 3 days ago," he teased. Jeno moved his hand from your ass to between your legs, rubbing you through your leggings. His brow arched at the sticky wet sensation covering his fingers through the fabric. "You aren't even wearing panties. It's like you came in here with the intention of me fucking you."

With one quick movement, Jeno's hand was in your leggings, rubbing you in circles slowly. "It's just funny that you're so quiet now. Make all those pretty noises you made for pretty boy." Jeno pressed his fingers harder into you. He watched as you began to lose yourself with that sweet sinister smile of his. You didn't stop him when he pulled your tank top up, immediately groping your left breast. "God I love these pretty tits."

Your panting was only getting faster, his hand on your clit rubbing you faster while fondling your breast, you could barely hear anything he was saying. You were gonna cum quick, all you needed was a little more and-

"I think I'll stop here. You seem to be enjoying yourself too much."

It's embarrassing how fast you stopped him from pulling his hand out your pants, forcing it back down to where it was before. "Jeno, please don't play around," you pleaded.

He snickered at your pleading, fingers immediately making their way back between your legs. Jeno slowly pushed two inside you, a shaky moan leaving your mouth. He pumped his fingers in you, kissing your lips softly. Having no idea what to do with your hands, you held onto his arms, biceps flexing in your hands. "Jeno," you moaned softly.

"You liked that hm," he said in your ear. "You like it when I touch you like this?"

"Y-yeah."

He fingered you faster, the palm of his hand stimulating your clit at the same time. You held onto his arms tighter, closing your eyes as you let your head fall on his shoulder. The moans and whimpers fell through your lips so easily under his touch. Between his hand on your chest and the one in your pants you could barely concentrate on your surroundings.

So when Jaemin suddenly opened the door when he was supposed to get home three hours from now, startled couldn't even begin to describe how you felt. He stopped dead in his tracks, staring at your panicked face. Jeno kept going, not giving a single fuck of who just came in the apartment. But even though you were startled, no matter how compromising the position you were in was, it still managed to turn you on even more.

"Jesus, you're a slut aren't you," Jeno teased. "You love the fact that he came in here unannounced with my fingers in your pussy?"

You shook your head, burying your face in his neck. "S-shut up."

"Are we gonna do this now," Jaemin asked, finally breaking his silence.

You looked over at him, confusion and pleasure on your face. "Do what?"

"I guess we can. But I need her to cum first." Jeno and Jaemin were talking like you weren't even there, saying things you didn't even understand. But every time you thought to ask questions, a moan left your lips, making you squeeze his arm again. "Cum Y/N," he said in your ear lowly. "Cum for me."

Your legs are weak, the only thing holding your body up is Jeno's hand under you. He moves his hand faster, palm rubbing your clit harder. "S-shit.." You came hard, grasping his biceps for dear life before you fell into Jeno’s shoulder.

"I'll never get enough of that face," Jaemin mumbled, teeth toying with his lip as he watched you.

Jeno pulled his hand from your leggings, sticking his fingers in your mouth almost immediately. "Suck."

And you did, swirling your tongue around the digits like you were gonna get a grade for it. Jeno watched you, his usual smirk spreading on his face.

"Fuck, I can't watch this anymore." Jaemin walked over to both of you. Jeno moved out of the way, letting Jaemin pick you up and throw your body over his shoulder.

"Wait, what are you guys doing," you panic.

"Don't play dumb you know exactly what's going on," Jeno answered. They walked to your room, practically kicking the door open. You let out a tiny scream when Jaemin dropped you on your bed with no warning, looking at them completely lost.

"You're so cute, like a lost puppy," Jaemin said. He took his hoodie off, having nothing underneath it. Jeno made quick work of his own shirt, throwing it elsewhere in the room. "Are you gonna be good for us?"

"I-I.." you were in complete shock. This was something you fantasized about for way too long, touching yourself to the thought of both of them taking care of you at the same time. You craved it way more than they would ever know. But everything was happening way too fast. So when Jaemin pushed you down on bed, pulling your leggings off, it was like whiplash. Jeno took your tank off quickly, throwing it in a random place.

Jaemin sat himself behind you, leaning on your head board as he pulled your body to him. Your back was pressed against his chest as he wrapped his big arms around you, burying his face in the crook of your neck. "You're so beautiful," he mumbled. He kissed your neck slowly while Jeno laid between your legs, mouth already attaching to your core.

You let out a small gasp as the feeling of Jeno’s mouth and the feeling of Jaemin's hands on your chest clouded your senses. Jeno ate you out like it was his last meal ever, not giving you enough time to recover from the prior activities in the kitchen. His tongue ravaged you, moans and groans sending vibrations to your clit like crazy. And Jaemin's constant kissing and humming against your skin was not making it better.

"You know I'm kind of a pervert," Jaemin whispered, a small smile on his lips. You were leaning on him, your head falling back on to his shoulder as Jeno worked his tongue on you. Jaemin stared down at the sight between your legs, eyelids getting heavy with lust watching the show in front of him. "I like to watch."

His fingers tweaked and pinched at your nipples, unholy noises spilling from your lips easily. He was growing harder and harder, his bulge rubbing on your ass. "Doesn't it feel good," he whispered in your ear. His soft voice sent butterflies to your stomach, a trembling breath unintentionally making its way out.

"Y-yeah."

"Tell him it feels good." Jaemin rolled your nipples in his fingers making you grip your blanket.

"I-it feels good Jeno," you moaned softly.

"Good girl. You're always so good for me." Jeno hooked his arms around your legs, tugging your body a little lower. Jaemin snickered at your surprised expression, hands still working on your chest. "God you're so cute."

Jeno's tongue moved faster, groaning softly against you constantly. You bit your lip starting to grind on his tongue. Your constant moans filled the room, every single sense becoming heightened when you feel yourself starting to approach your orgasm.

Jaemin tilted your head to him, kissing you messily. His tongue invaded your mouth, dancing with yours as Jeno kept going. He knew you were close, he could tell by the way your breathing was picking up and your trembling hands on the blanket. "You're close, aren't you baby," he mumbled on your lips.

You nodded fast, brows knitting when Jeno sucked your clit hard. Jaemin watched your face as your eyes rolled back and body tense at the sensation.

"Look at me when you cum okay?"

"O-oh my god," you moaned loudly. Your hand shot up to his wrist, squeezing it tightly as your body tense up even more. You couldn’t stop yourself, grinding on Jeno's tongue even harder as you came.

"That's it baby, keep looking at me with those pretty eyes." Jaemin kissed you, biting your lip softly as you moaned into his mouth. His hands left your chest, rubbing them down your naked body.

Jeno stood up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. You always knew he had the body of a Greek god but goodness, it didn't hit you hard until now. Jeno tugged his sweats and boxers off, letting his length spring free. He was big, bigger than you thought. You've felt him through his pants many times on the occasions that he slipped behind you or something. But Jesus, it's nothing like seeing the real thing.

"Face down, ass up," Jeno ordered.

Clumsily, you pulled your body out of Jaemin's arms and flipped yourself over. Trying to get yourself on your knees, you slipped, face falling directly into Jaemin's lap. Jaemin gave you a soft chuckle, hand patting your head as you fixed yourself.

"Where's your condoms," Jeno asked.

"Fuck all of that. I need you Jeno," you whined. You subconsciously wiggled your hips, begging for him to take you right there. You've never been so needy for something in your life, but he managed to bring it out of you.

"You need me?" His tone was condescending and mean, but he had that sweet smile on his face. "How bad do you need me?" He took his length, guiding it up and down your slit.

"Real bad," you breathed out, pushing more against him. "So bad, I could die right now."

"You always had a way with words," he mumbled. Jeno pushed his tip into you slowly, making you smile at the stretch. His brows furrowed as he pushed the rest of himself in you, feeling you squeeze tightly around him.

"Fuck you're so big," you whined softly.

Jeno rocked his hips into you, every movement making you moan softly. Your head was between Jaemin's lap as he watched the other male fuck you from behind. You looked up, feeling a small tap on your head. Jaemin was looking down at you with a smirk on his face.

"You didn't think I was gonna let you and Jeno have all the fun did you?"

Lifting yourself on your elbows, moans and whines falling from your mouth as you pull Jaemin out his sweats. He was just a s big as Jeno, and he knew it. The way he was looking down at you, he knew you would have a hard time. Little did he know you liked having a hard time.

"Spit on it."

His words made you clench around Jeno, making the man behind you groan softly. You did as you were told, letting a ball of saliva fall from your lips onto his tip.

"You listen so well," Jaemin praised.

You were so fucked out of your mind at this point, you wanted nothing but to be praised by him. You licked around his tip, looking up at him for his approval with begging eyes. You sunk your head down more, getting more of him into your mouth, sucking him softly. Your brows furrowed, moaning on his length as Jeno started to speed up his thrust. Jaemin could happily die right here, one of his biggest fantasies unraveling in a way he never imagined. And you were just so open to letting him use you, to letting Jeno use you.

His lids hung low, soft moans and pants leaving his lips as you bobbed your head following Jeno's rhythm. "We should've done this ages ago," Jaemin mumbled, fingers running through your hair. He grasped it hard, following your movements with his hand, but if you kept going, he was surely going to cum in your mouth. Jaemin pulled you off of him slowly, knitting his brows at the loss of your mouth. "You're way too good at that," he huffed out.

Jeno's low grunts mixed with your moans and whimpers made Jaemin grow harder and harder every second. Jeno pounded into you, the sound of skin slapping filling the room.

"You love this don't you," Jeno breathed.

"Yeah." Your voice was shaky, about to break at any moment.

"All it took was my fingers to break you. God, you're a slut."

You needed more, and you couldn't take the sight of Jaemin sitting in front of you, hard length sitting there untouched. Jaemin's eyes shot to you as you took him in your mouth, immediately bobbing your head. "You really..must want me to cum in your mouth."

You pulled off of him, a string of spit connecting your mouth and his tip. "Y-yeah," you moaned. "Use me."

There was something in Jaemin's eyes that changed. Without a word he gasped as he pushed himself back into your mouth. You opened your mouth as far as you could letting him fuck your mouth like you were his own personal fleshlight. Your eyes were screwed shut, the impact of Jeno inside you and Jaemin constantly hitting the back of your throat sending you into a sensory overload. You were so sensitive, everything was starting to hurt, but it hurt so good.

You gagged, tears immediately gathering in your water line. Jaemin pulled you off him, breathing heavily seeing you caught and moaning at Jeno's movements. Spit was dribbling down your chin, but it's not like you could've known anyway. Not when Jeno was fucking you like he wanted to get you pregnant. You wouldn't mind it honestly, and you know he wouldn't either.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum," Jeno grunted through his teeth. He lifted his knee, one foot laying flat on the mattress to get a better angle. "Gonna cum deep inside this pretty pussy."

At this point you were sure you weren't going to be able to walk the next day or the day after that. You felt your body becoming tense, a tight ball forming in your stomach. "J-Jeno, I'm gonna cum," you whimpered loudly.

"Open your mouth."

Jaemin's voice startled you for a second, completely overtaken with the feeling of Jeno. You glanced down seeing Jaemin stroke himself fast. He looked so pretty when he was about to cum. The sweat glistened on his forehead, mouth hanging open, pretty pink cock pulsing in his hand. You opened your mouth, panting loudly feeling yourself come closer and closer to your orgasm.

And just as Jaemin came, letting the thick ropes of cum hit your tongue and face all over, so did you, squeezing tightly around Jeno like you were holding him in for dear life. Loud moans and whimpers bounced off the walls while your hands gripped your blanket so tight it hurt. But Jeno wouldn't stop, not until he came deep in you.

"How does a mini me running around here sound," he chuckled darkly.

"Good, so fucking good." You were delirious. You didn't even know what you were agreeing to at this point, not until he gripped your hips hard and painted your insides white. The panic didn't set in until 2 seconds later, your brows knitting in worry, but you also felt yourself liking it. You liked that he didn't pull out, and it felt so good. Like he owned you.

Your body slumped as Jeno pulled out of you, breathing heavily into your arms. You shuddered, feeling him push his seed back into you as it fell down your thighs.

Jaemin couldn't wait for you to catch your breath, getting up when Jeno moved off the bed behind you. Jaemin took your body, flipping you into your back with one quick movement.

"You're so fucking gorgeous," he said, stripping completely naked in front of you.

You couldn't even speak, your throat was too sore to say anything and your brain was completely fried. Jaemin lifted your legs, spreading them gently.

"I'm not like him," he said, tone sweeter than you expected. "I won’t fuck you so rough." His eyes scanned your body, going from your cum covered face to your pretty chest, to your cunt. "But I will make you scream my name."

Jaemin lined his length with your core, pushing himself in you in one swift motion. You held your legs up, staring at where the both of you met. When Jaemin started thrusting into you, you couldn’t keep your voice down. Every movement he made felt like heaven. The raspy whimpers that left your mouth were music to his ears - it made him want to fuck you till your couldn't even remember your name.

"You're so good for me," he breathed, smiling when you nodded fast.

You looked beside you, seeing Jeno watch the both of you, touching himself. "Come here," you breathed.

Jeno bit his lip softly, doing what you said. You moved his hand, replacing it with your own as you lifted your head, wrapping your lips around his cock. You looked up at him, batting your lashes as you sucked him off. Jeno can't remember a time where he was turned on this much in his life. You were just so good, so weak, so careful even when you were being fucked way past your limit.

"She's still so tight after you fucked her open." Jaemin snapped his hips into you hard, making you groan loudly around Jeno. "What a fucking slut."

Jeno chuckled darkly looking at your desperate soft expression. It was funny to him, how you still managed to look cute and innocent with a dick in your mouth and cum on your face.

Tears pricked in the corners of your eyes as they both rocked into you at different yet quick paces, causing your mind to spin miles a minute. “God she’s so fucking good for us, taking both our cocks so well. You feel good baby?”

Jeno’s words caused you to shake in pleasure, moaning around him in response. There was no way you’d ever be able to feel this good with anyone else. You didn’t just feel good, you felt fucking euphoric.

“Fuck Y/N I’m so close” you let out a muffed cry as Jaemin’s hand found it’s way to your sensitive clit. Rolling and pinching it between his fingers. The desperation in Jaemin’s voice paired with your over sensitive body from your first orgasm created a whole new level of pleasure. You were close…And they both knew it.

The way you tightened around Jaemin and the high pitched moans breaking past your cock stuffed mouth was a dead giveaway. “Are you going to come for us again Y/N? Is being double stuffed making you feel good?” Something about the tone of Jeno’s voice was just what you needed to be sent over the edge.

Your orgasm shook through you in waves. “F-fuck I’m cumming Y/N. Take it well baby.” Jaemin rocked into you before stilling his hips. Shooting his seed deep into you with breathy groans.

Not being too far behind Jeno’s pace became sloppy. Once a consistent quick pace he now fucked your mouth with unsteady thrusts. Jeno held your head in place as he came in your mouth making sure you took every single drop he had to give. Once he was done he slowly pulled himself out of your mouth.

Jaemin pulled out of your pussy causing you to clench at the sudden loss of him. Suddenly your mind felt as if it was on autopilot. As you felt his cum leak out of your hole you pulled Jeno down into a heated kiss feeling him groan from the taste of him on your tongue. “Oh? Forgetting all about me now?”

Jaemin pouted as you pulled away from Jaemin weakly reaching out to the man. Smiling he leaned down kissing you passionately. “Did you have fun Y/N?” Not having too much energy left you nodded leaning your head onto his shoulder. “Cmon Y/N let’s get you cleaned up.”

The three of you would definitely need to have a conversation later about their little ambush but for now you think I’d be okay to let it slide.

hi !! I'm new to following you. I read some of your stories and I really love how the way you write. especially the "perfect present". just wanted to ask if you could write a smut about Renjun again. I really love your writing.

coffee shop date | h.rj

❯ summary: After being stood up for a date several times at the small coffee shop that your friend-of-a-friend Renjun works at, he sits down with you to keep you company after closing hours. But talking isn’t exactly what he has in mind.

❯ pairings: renjun x fem!reader

❯ genre: coffee shop!au, smut, fluff, slight angst.

❯ words: 3.1k

❯ tags: 18+ minors dni!, smut, fluff, oral sex (fem!receiving), unprotected sex (wrap it up), semi public sex, brief hair pulling, renjun is super sweet, brief mention of marking, lots of kissing, reader uses she/her pronouns, reader gets stood up so renjun makes her feel better.

“Still a no-show?”

His words snap you out of the trance you had been put in by the buzzing of the coffee machines and the gentle clinking of porcelain cups.

“Huh?” You blink at him, then remember the reason you’re even here in the first place. “Oh, no. I mean, yeah. Still a no-show.” 

Renjun stands leaned over at the counter, scribbling circles on a little notepad by the cash register.

“It’s almost closing time,” he looks down at his wristwatch, “So unless he comes sprinting in the next 30 seconds, I think his time is up. What is this, the third time?” 

“Well, the first time it was an actual emergency, so I don’t think I should count that one”, you state. 

You had matched with a guy on Tinder who seemed really keen on meeting you, but he had yet to actually show up to any of your scheduled coffee dates. The first time, he had ended up in the ER for a ligament injury, and he had sent photos from the hospital explaining that he was really sorry. The other two times seemed to have just been unfortunate coincidences.  

Still, you weren’t really the busy bee of the century, so the long days at the coffee shop hadn’t been too torturous. As head barista, Renjun had the privilege to witness all three instances of you spending the majority of your day sitting in his coffee shop, patiently waiting for someone that would never show up.

Renjun scrunches his nose, giving you an amused sceptical face.

“You know what, let’s give him one last chance”, he suggests. “I’m not in a rush to close up, let’s give him the chance to do the last-minute chase down thing you see in the movies.”

He rips the cap off of a large marker pen with his teeth and starts writing something on the notebook paper. When he finishes, he recaps the marker and dramatically unveils his masterpiece to you.

《CLOSED FOR TODAY, UNLESS YOUR NAME IS JENO AND YOU’RE LATE FOR A VERY IMPORTANT TINDER DATE (PLEASE YELL VERY LOUDLY AND WE’LL LET YOU IN.)》

You roll your eyes in a smile whilst Renjun pulls the blinds shut and tapes the handmade sign on the outside of the door. After locking the door, he plops down on the chair next to you, before immediately shooting back up on his feet. 

“Want anything to drink?” He asks. 

You look down at your long-empty latte mug, and slosh around the tiny bit of foam left at the bottom. “I don’t think I should have any more caffeine today.” 

He raises his hands in an “ok”-sign and disappears behind the coffee bar counter for a short while.

The reason you were even in this coffee shop in particular was because Renjun and you had a mutual friend who swore by this location being the very best place for first dates. But now that you had spent some time here, you seriously doubted the first date part.

Instead, you were pretty sure that the real magic was Renjun’s way to light up the place with good vibes. During your long hours here, you had never once seen anyone leave without a smile or at least a smirk on their face. Even when the newly hired barista got an order slightly wrong at times, Renjun’s way of interacting with customers was just too sincere and charming to leave anyone upset. 

He comes back with a coffee cup for himself and a plate of cookies and sits down. “Leftovers”, he says. “Would be a shame to throw them out.” 

You grab one gratefully.

“So, this Jeno guy, what makes him so special anyway?” Renjun asks between sips. You furrow your brow in thought for a few seconds before replying.

“I don’t actually know an awful lot about him. He seems very driven, and confident. I guess it sort of flatters me that he would think of me as worthy of his attention”, you reply, your words sounding a bit more pathetic than you intended. 

Renjun chuckles. “You’re kidding, right? I’ve seen several people staring at you like you’re their blushing bride.” 

“You don’t have to lie to make me feel better.” 

He shakes his head — offended that you think he would even lie to you. 

“You know, Jisung, the delivery guy?” He asks and you nod. 

“I’ve had to unload the coffee bean deliveries myself for the last two weeks because when he does it, the guy ends up drooling like a zombie whenever he sees you. You’re quite the chore to hang out with, you know?” He pauses for a split second before adding, “No, sorry, that came out wrong. I didn’t mean you were a bother, but you for sure don’t have a shortage of suiters.”

You look down at your hands holding the cookie and chew slowly in thought. You knew you weren’t a complete lost cause or anything, but you had never really noticed anyone straight up ogling you in public. 

“Well, I know I’m not the best at accepting compliments, but that still sounds like some grossly exaggerated bullshit, Jun.”

His smile widens and he lets out a scoffing chuckle. He lowers his face and tilts his head with searching, focused eyes to coax you to make eye contact with him again. 

It works.

“Hey”, he begins, with his eyebrows raised in a smug but caring expression. “You’re pretty, okay?” 

Your instant reflex is to scrunch your face up in a cringing reaction. 

“No, no, no, no, no, none of that,” he objects. 

You try your best to hold eye contact and not squirm when he repeats himself. 

“You’re pretty. You’re a very pretty girl.” He dramatically grabs your face with both of his hands and shakes you gently for comedic effect. “You’re a nice, sweet, person. You’re hot, and this Jeno guy can get screwed because he doesn’t know what he’s missing.” 

You swallow unwillingly hard. Renjun’s facial expression fades from an amused smile, to a more serious stare, and then into a confident smirk.

“You’re adorable”, he begins. He gently kisses your forehead, his hands still placed on the sides of your face.

“And funny.” His lips now move to your nose, and he gives it a kiss, just like he did with your forehead.

“And so fucking hot”, he says breathily before touching his lips to yours. 

Your brain struggles to comprehend the sudden development of the situation, but luckily your body responds faster, kissing back and placing your hands over his own to signal your willingness.

The gentle pecks quickly turn to rougher kisses, and his fingers weave to make gentle circles in your hair. Your mouths meet and depart in unpredictable intervals repeatedly. Renjun’s right hand loosens its grip on your head and places itself on the small of your back, pulling you closer until you were practically seated on his lap.

His other hand wanders to your thigh, just barely creeping underneath the hem of your dress. The fact that he was so clear on what he wanted this to turn into, without being disrespectful, makes your stomach drop and your head dizzy. This entire experience felt like a rollercoaster where each turn was an exhilarating surprise.

You reach your hands up to his chest and unbutton the two buttons on his work uniform. You feel him smile in the kiss at your gesture of confirmation. His grip on your thigh tightens as he pulls you even closer to his own body. 

Renjun finally breaks the kiss by tilting his head down, pressing your foreheads together. His eyes focus intently on your torso, and he runs his hands gently along the contour of your body, slowly grazing the sides of your rib cage, waist, and down to your hips. His gaze rises back to your neckline, and using his thumbs, he softly hooks the shoulder straps of your dress and pulls them down your upper arms. He lets out a sigh at the sight of your bare chest as if he had held his breath in anticipation.

“Good lord”, he mutters.

His right-hand goes up to cup the side of your face again, roughly pulling you back into the kiss and entangling his fingers in your hair. His left-hand rests on your waist, with his grip tightening and loosening in the strands with each kiss. Your own hands wander up to the back of his neck, untying his apron and letting your fingers slip under his shirt by the nape of his neck, touching the bare skin underneath. 

You feel him shiver slightly as you run your hands over his neck and through his hair. The hand he has on the side of your face lets go and cups your ass instead, and although the skirt of your dress has partially slid in between, the small touch of his fingers against your ass still sends shockwaves through your body.

With his new grip on your body, he lifts you as he stands up in order to prop you up on the table you had been seated at. He has to bend down to continue the kiss, but seemingly refuses to break it for even a moment. Both his hands snake under your dress and grab the sides of your underwear to slide them down your legs with surprising finesse. Only after this does he break the kiss to look you in the eyes. 

Your lips are already kissed raw and you are both already a bit out of breath. He gently helps to pull your arms fully out of your shoulder straps, once again stopping to admire your breasts for a moment. With a quick glance at the front door to confirm what he already knew was true — it was locked and drawn shut, and no one was getting in — he crouches down to kiss your chest. 

He slowly trails down your upper body, leaving wet marks along the way. When he kneels all the way down, he stops to look up at your eyes. You knew your face was probably flushed and flustered looking, but it seemed that Renjun was after just that anyway — the man was visibly taken aback with every move you made.

He reaches behind you to scoot you right to the edge of the table. He maintains eye contact while he kisses your thigh; and only when his mouth reaches your pussy and he sees your head fall back in reaction does he break eye contact. 

He kisses tenderly, using his tongue in short strokes to stimulate your clit. His fingers begin to caress gentle circles on your thighs, and with each whimper you let out, you could feel him smile against your warm skin. 

Your fingers grip the side of the small round table. The coolness of the tabletop is in stark contrast to the warmth of Renjun’s mouth, which starts working harder and harder to keep up with your growing need for stimulation. 

Your mind feels split, half of it desperately wanting to process the unfathomable situation you were in, and half of it demanding that you don’t think at all and just let your body enjoy the hot guy on his knees in front of you who seemed so determined to make your soul leave your body altogether. 

The soft touch of Renjun’s tongue feels tortuous at this point. It had definitely been appreciated, but your body begged for more — it needed more. Harder. Rougher.

Your hand loosens from the side of the table and ends up raking through his hair. You have to stop yourself from accidentally yanking on it from pleasure. Your shaky body can no longer support itself, leaning back on one hand, and with a whimper, you fall back on your elbow. The motion knocks a teaspoon off the table onto the floor, and Renjun looks up with a surprised and amused face. 

He clearly expected a way more timid response to his bold advances from you, so he can’t help but let out a laugh. As he stands up, he leans over you and kisses his way back up your body, starting with your stomach, chest, and collarbones. His hands sneak under the arch of your back to lift you up to a sitting position. 

He smiles coyly, then lowers his head to your tits. His mouth latches onto your nipple and he sighs loudly. With his mouth still attached, his quick hands grab your ass and scoop you from the table. He turns on his feet, plopping you down on the main register counter next to the table you had just been dripping all over.

“More stable”, he mumbles between nibbles to your nipple.

In this new position, you can clearly feel his hard cock pressing against your inner thigh. You reach down to his waistline and grab his belt buckle, snaking the smooth leather out of the clasp. His hands quickly join to help you unfasten it. 

He pulls away from your chest and swiftly removes his shirt, tossing it on the ground and ruffling his hair. Your fingers hook the belt loops on his pants to pull him back closer to you. He gladly locks back with your lips into another rough kiss, while you fumble with his zipper.

Renjun shudders when your hand grazes his crotch. His usually calm and smug attitude had transitioned to an almost desperate, rough, stir-crazy demeanour at your touch. He grips your back hard to press you against him, throwing the skirt of your dress aside to reach his fingers down between your legs, rhythmically rubbing circles. His other hand travels all over you, seemingly not being able to settle on any single area to caress you. 

You were driving him literally wild; and it wasn’t until you pull on the waistband of his underwear that he pauses the kiss, appearing to sober up for a second. He looks you in the eyes with a serious expression, and you instinctively nod in response. 

You both help, pulling his underwear down, just far enough to expose him. Fully removing his pants was not even an option at this point, you didn’t have time for such nonsense. 

Renjun grips your thighs and pulls you even closer to the edge of the counter, violently resuming the kiss. You could feel his dick finally touch against your warm core and you sharply exhale at the sensation. He inserts himself slowly with surprising caution given the frenzy that so recently engulfed him.

The self control of this man must be astronomical.

When he reaches all the way in, he stays as still as possible until both of your tensed up muscles have time to relax. He inhales deeply through his teeth, and you let out a mixture of a moan and a sigh. 

Neither of you had time to waste though, so his smooth hip movements quickly pick up their pace. The feeling of him moving so slowly but sensually is so delicious, you almost start to feel delirious with each thrust. 

You wrap one arm around Renjun’s back, allowing him to hit even deeper inside of you. You try to steady yourself as best as you could on the countertop, but the moans and whimpers threatening to leave your lips win.

With heads perched on each other’s shoulders, the warm panting from both of your mouths line up nicely with the other’s ears. Renjun didn’t seem to be afraid to be as loud as you; and each moan from him strikes down on your brain like lightning. 

With two simple words, he finally delivers the final blow that has you clawing at his back and throwing your head back in ecstasy. 

“Holy shit”, he mutters against your ear.

You hug hard around him, your thighs tightening around his waist, as your inner walls contract around his cock. He knows better than to stop here though, and keeps pumping at the same pace for a few more seconds until you finish riding out your high and he has reached his own. 

You lean back on your hands as he helps steady you with one of his own hands on your back. You make eye contact again, both of you now looking with flushed faces and heaving chests.

Looking down on the counter, you notice his hand accidentally gripping and crumbling up the piece of notepad paper he had scrawled on earlier. He laughs, and softly kisses your chest and up your neck. He presses one more deep kiss on your lips, and then he finishes it off with a soft peck to your forehead.

“That Jeno guy is really missing out”, he chuckles, and you had to laugh along with him.

He gently pulls out of you and holds you close, slowly helping you pull the straps of your dress back on. He tucks himself away with a pull of his pants and buttons up, looking down at your wet thighs with a furrowed brow.

“Hold on”, he says deep in thought, walking behind the counter into the back room. A couple of locker door slams and then he’s back, pulling his shirt on and tossing you an item. You catch the piece of cloth between both hands. A pair of boxer briefs with the coffee shop’s logo printed on the elastic rim. 

You look at him with a questioning eyebrow and stifle a laugh.

“I know, I know, not exactly ideal, but I’m not letting you walk home in soaked panties. They’re brand new, I swear,” he smiles.

Yeah. Definitely not ideal, but the thoughtfulness warms you. You pull them on and hop off the counter. He walks up to you and grips your hips.

“Hey, uh… I’m working the late shift tomorrow too…” he hints. 

You couldn’t help but break into a grin.

“Really? I think I’m gonna need a lot of caffeine”, you reply, grabbing your bag and stuffing your drenched underwear inside.

“Well, you’re in luck, I know a guy!” He smirks and gestures theatrically at himself. He walks you over to the exit, and unlocks the front door for you, but still lingers in the doorway.

“… see you tomorrow?” he says, and you nod in response. 

Satisfied with that answer, he slowly closes the door and relocks it. You begin your walk home in a more upbeat and confident stride than you had when walking to the café earlier that afternoon. 

Rummaging around in your bag for your phone, you pull it out to two notifications. 

“Hey, so so sorry, I’m still at work!”

“How long is the coffee shop open?

You pause your step, hovering over Jeno’s profile picture with your thumb. You take a deep breath and click the button.

Blocked. 

i'm feeling lonely too...but how am i going to let go of my delusional thoughts now 😭😭

haechan — if i believe you  

haechan x fem!reader 10.6k, angst & fluff, fake dating to real a/n: thank you all for waiting...this is the longest thing i've ever written :) i really hope that you can enjoy this and the emotions and everything are immersive and not too annoying with the miscommunication/repression i hope. these two are my favorite ever, quiet haechan is my favorite ever and i would love to revisit them maybe in a later fic. anyway, let me know if you like this!! thank you for reading <3 it’s a little difficult to be around your friend group when they’re all like this.

it’s a little past midnight, and you don’t know how it happened but the room has been split into happy pairs, all in their own world. movie on the tv forgotten, jaemin has his arm slung around a girl as they whisper to each other on the floor next to the couch, which is taken up by jeno — currently very endearingly laughing at something his girlfriend said. renjun was arguing with his girlfriend, but you know that neither of them truly meant it. you don’t know how it happened, but it seemed that this year, the trip to jaemin’s beach house had turned into a triple date for which you were seriously 7th wheeling. the sight makes your heart hurt a little, because you suddenly feel so crushingly lonely. 

“still here?” 

you almost forgot that haechan was here too. almost. 

sliding in to sit next to you on the kitchen island, he was dressed cozily for bed: his hoodie rolled up to his elbows, smelling slightly of toothpaste and fabric softener. you didn’t actually talk to haechan that much, you were always closer with jaemin in the friend group, but sometimes when eating together he’d catch your eye after a particularly terrible joke, or you would raise your eyebrows at him for something questionable said. you had almost developed an entirely non-verbal form of communication in that way, the two of you sharing your humor, and yet you didn’t actually know a whole lot about each other. a part of you thinks that you know a different haechan from everyone else, because in all the looks you pass each other and the comfortable silence you share, the haechan you know is quiet and sensitive, with a world of kindness in him that made you feel calm. and although you know he can be obnoxious and loud, his laughter echoing down corridors and smile brighter than the sun, you much preferred the haechan you knew. 

you also thought he was the prettiest boy you’d seen in a long while — something casual about the way he would smile, or wink at people, and his habit of poking his tongue in his cheek…but you weren’t going to tell him that. 

“yeah, still here.” you exhale. “when did you make your escape?” 

“about 30 minutes ago.” he smiled fondly at the happy couples in the room. “it’s a bit funny how the room just rearranged itself. i could’ve sworn jaemin was beside me at the dinner table the entire night but somewhere along the way he dematerialised and reappeared next to the sofa.” 

“love can do that to a person.” you rolled your eyes, before pausing to consider that maybe haechan was not quite in the same predicament as you. “hey, speaking of, why didn’t you bring your girlfriend?” 

because you were sure that haechan had a girlfriend, who he would sometimes leave gatherings early to see. you vaguely remembered renjun complaining about how he always had to walk her to class, never showing up to gatherings anymore because of some surprise or another. 

haechan blinks at you. “don’t have one anymore. we broke up quite a few months ago.” at the guilt-striken look on your face, he shakes his head to reassure you. 

“i’m over it,” he says softly. “don’t worry about me, okay?”

you can’t imagine anyone breaking up with haechan — haechan who was so gentle. with his radiant smile and his arms full of flowers whenever he surprised her. haechan who walked her to her classes. 

“i’m sorry to hear that. you deserved better i’m sure.” 

he smiles, and it looks kind of shy. “if you say so.” 

“hey y/n-” you look up at jaemin’s voice, and realize that somehow, the room had emptied out while you were talking to haechan. the only person left was jaemin, who had just finished clearing the bottles and snack wrappers. “we’re going to bed, i’m going to turn out the lights now.” 

“okay, thanks jaem.” 

he made to leave, but stopped abruptly. “ y/n, remember-” jaemin looked at you sternly, one hand on the light switch, one pointed at you. 

“repeat after me: do not trust how you feel about your entire life past 9pm.” a pause, as he glances at the clock on the wall. “or 1am, for that matter.” 

you laugh. “thanks jaem.” 

“repeat it”, he insists. 

“do not trust how i feel about my life past 1am.” 

“good.” jaemin nods in acknowledgement to haechan, flicks the light switch, and just like that, haechan and you sit alone at the kitchen island, illuminated by the moonlight through the glass doors.

suddenly, it is so quiet you feel like you want to sit in the moment forever. 

you look over at him, and haechan raises his eyebrows. it is a look you know well. care to explain?

“sometimes i get really emotional at night”, you explain. “tend to overthink. jaemin knows that because i’m always calling him talking about one thing or the other.” thinking about how embarrassing it would be if you started oversharing, you quickly promise, “but i’m working on it, don’t worry. i won’t do that to you.” 

haechan smiles. “i don’t mind.” he blinks at you and supports his chin with his hands. “we have all night. tell me what’s on your mind right now.” 

“really?” you look skeptical. once again, you and haechan haven’t really talked that much at all. you think this is maybe the longest conversation you’ve had with him, with so many words. 

“it’s okay if you don’t want to. but i’m just saying, i wouldn’t mind.” he smiles, and it warms your heart. 

asking you softly if you would like something to drink, he gets up to make hot chocolate for the two of you. and you’re sitting there, not even trying, but suddenly the moonlight and the soft sounds of haechan padding around the kitchen are setting off a feeling of butterflies making their way to your throat from your stomach. there are shivers running up and down your spine because there is something tender and fragile in this moment that you can’t pinpoint, and a deep feeling begins to crawl its way, spreading through your toes and fingertips. all you know is it’s the feeling you get before you’re about to spill your heart out to someone. 

“haechan?” 

he hums, and the sound could break your heart. 

“do you ever feel lonely sometimes?” 

you hear the smile in his voice without having to turn around to look at him — its the one that starts at the corners and spreads slowly across his face. “so this is what keeps you up at night.” 

“i’m serious, haechan.” running your hands through your hair, you are aware that you are beginning to sound like a rom-com protagonist, but you don’t care. 

“sorry.” you hear the clink of teaspoons against cups as he stirs the hot chocolate. “i mean, i guess i do feel a little lonely sometimes. but it’s not…an all-consuming thought.” a pause. “i guess it is, for you though, isn’t it?” 

you hesitate, before nodding because fuck it, this has been on your mind for way too long and jaemin was rarely helpful. always with his arm slung over another girl, you had a hard time getting jaemin to admit he got lonely sometimes. 

choosing your words carefully, you continue your spiel. “it’s just…it’s insane to me how we are told that life is so romantic, that there are so many wonderful moments in love we can look forward to, but none of that is happening to me and it doesn’t seem like it will be happening any time soon.” 

haechan comes over to you, and passes you a mug of hot chocolate. soothingly, he places a hand on yours where it rests on the counter. “you have to wait y/n. i promise, one day you’ll find someone who loves you, and all the things you’re dreaming about will happen.” 

“you can’t know that for sure,” you press. “i mean, when will someone write a love letter to me? will we kiss in the rain in the park? will they run to see me at a new year’s eve party?” 

“woah woah woah, slow down.” he nudges your mug with his, indicating that you should drink, so you take a sip of chocolate: it’s rich and warm. 

“i’m sorry. it’s just over the years things just keep getting added to this list of love, and now that i look at it it just seems ever the more impossible.” 

“love isn’t defined by actions and experiences,” haechan muses. 

“but i want to experience these things,” you say, feeling a little shy at how raw this conversation was getting.  

haechan smiles at that, at the yearning hidden in your small voice. the two of you sit for a while, nursing your cups of chocolate, lost in your own thoughts. enjoying the warmth of his hand on yours, you look at the glimmering countertop and choose not to say anything so he doesn’t move his hand away. 

and suddenly, out of the blue, haechan asks you a question. 

“just out of curiosity, what are some things on your list?” 

feeling a little embarrassed, because really — sharing your romantic fantasies with someone was beyond intimate, you mumble, “just simple things. going to the aquarium. being a couple at the amusement park, on the ferris wheel. watching fireworks together. cuddling while watching movies in my bedroom.” 

haechan thinks about it for a moment. you can almost see the wheels turning in his head. you sit in silence for so long, you’re about to ask him what he’s thinking about, or tell him it’s not that serious, when he speaks up.

“i’ll do them with you.” 

you almost choke. “i’m sorry?” 

“i’ll help you complete your list.” he looks at you, as if it’s a completely normal thing he’s just said. 

“but…but i mean…” you blink confusedly. you were supposed to do those things with a boyfriend or someone you loved, not just as friends. that would defeat the whole purpose. 

reading your mind, haechan added “it’ll just be like fake dating. i’ll pretend to be your boyfriend so you can experience all that you want to.” 

you’re beginning to see a little bit of the haechan that you don’t usually get to see, as he grins at you and there’s suddenly something sharp to the smile you always found gentle. “the full, personalised, boyfriend experience. just so you can have a go.” 

you laugh, but that’s just a cover for all the questions running through your head. “i-i don’t know,” you stammer. “does it even count if it’s fake?” 

“you’re the one making the rules.” tilting his head to the side, his eyes glimmer almost teasingly. 

“but what are you suggesting? what do you have in mind?” 

“well…” haechan hums as he thinks about it. “i could do everything with you on the list, as your fake boyfriend. in the timeframe that we’re going about carrying out this activity i’ll be fully and completely your boyfriend, yours to hug and kiss and hold hands with, until it’s over. then we can go back to being…” he smiles at you, hesitantly. “friends? does that work?” 

this haechan makes your palms sweaty, and makes your breath catch. this haechan makes you feel jumpy, and nervous, and impulsive. you think you’d do anything he asked in that moment. 

“okay.” you say slowly, and he smiles wide. “wait no.” you hesitate. “wait, fuck it, yes. let’s do it.” 

he laughs. “are you sure?” 

“wait.” his body heat is radiating off his skin as all his attention is focused on you. lips still pressed into a smile, his eyes bright and far too mesmerizing in the dim moonlight. and you can’t help but wonder then, “what if we catch feelings?” 

tilting his head to the side in consideration, he leans in close, one arm reaching out to cage you in. the two of you are nose to nose. you can count his every eyelash, see the constellation of moles scattered across his face and neck. his breath so close to your own, that your eyes can’t help but flutter shut.

“then that’s the best part.” he whispers.

x 

you try not to think about how you felt when haechan leaned in, or the way the circles he traced into the back of your hand were still burning. you couldn’t help looking for the smell of his perfume on your clothes.

you’re way too easy, y/n. this is only the first real conversation you’ve had with him. 

you’re about to turn off the lights and call it a night, hoping to some power above that you’re able to reign in your emotions come morning, when there’s a light tap at your door. 

“y/n? are you there?” 

it’s him. you spend about 5 seconds debating whether or not to pretend you’ve already fallen asleep, but curiosity eventually wins you over. crossing over to the door, you place a hand on the doorknob. 

“haechan?” 

you can hear him shift from behind the door, pushing it so it keeps shut. “y/n, wait, don’t open the door. i just want to tell you something.” 

slowly, you remove your hand from the doorknob and the latch clicks back, shut.

 “okay…” 

he’s breathing softly, and in the quiet you can hear it as if he were in the room with you. “y/n, i’m sorry i sprung the idea on you just now. you can forget i said anything if it made you uncomfortable.” he shifts his weight from foot to foot, nervously. “especially the part about catching feelings.” 

“it’s fine,” you say softly, but there’s a little disappointment stinging at you. does he regret it? 

“but also, if you’d like, i would really love to do all those things with you,” the words come out in a rush, as if he’s trying to be brave. “as fake lovers. without feelings attached.” 

you don’t know what to say, and you can tell that for each second you stay silent, haechan is growing less and less confident behind the door. you run things through in your head quickly. this plan meant that you were able to jump headlong into romantic experiences you’ve dreamt of for what felt like your whole life, without the potential of them being ruined by a bad date, or waiting for years more to find the right one. and most of all, you trusted haechan with this.

haechan is leaning against the opposite wall, looking at the floorboards, but his head shoots up when you open the door. 

taking a deep breath, you look him in the eyes. “let’s do it.” 

“really?” shocked, he reaches for you — maybe to wrap you in his arms for a hug, but drops them, remembering what he had said about making you feel uncomfortable. putting his hands behind his back to resist the urge to swing you into the air, his expression of surprise melts into a huge smile. one that makes you laugh. 

“you’re more excited about this than me,” you tease, and because you just can’t help it, you step forward and give him a quick hug. “thanks for doing this with me.” 

instantly, his arms loop around your waist, squeezing tightly. “thank you for trusting me.” 

the butterflies in your stomach, however, tell you that you were maybe being a bit too trusting. without feelings attached. because would that really be possible with him, who’s currently making your heart race and your breath catch? 

x

it was a week since the beach house. and while the opening of summer felt optimistic and hopeful, now everyone had to wander back to their lives and figure out exactly what they were going to do for the next three months. jeno and renjun had an ongoing bet that jaemin would be fired from his summer job within the week. and jaemin had a bet with you that jeno and renjun wouldn’t find themselves a job that entire summer.

but you knew exactly what you were going to do for the season. and it all started with getting in the passenger seat of haechan’s car as he took you to a waffles place for breakfast. 

“hey.” 

“hi.” he flashes a quick smile at you. “you look nice today.” 

“really?” you adjust the collar of your shirt self-consciously, checking on your hair through the rearview mirror. 

“no, i lied.” he laughs, and the sound is all too fitting for the morning sunshine that flits in through the windows. “yes, i mean it. i like your shirt.”

“my shirt?” 

“just take the compliment.” 

you can’t help a smile of your own. “okay. i will.”

for a while, he drives in silence. it’s a peaceful sense of calm that you think you’ll come to enjoy. there’s a lot of comfort in just sitting next to haechan, watching his hands move on the wheel, his careful eyes scanning the road.

“so, y/n, i took a look at your list,” he starts. 

you had texted him a small list of the things you were thinking about doing. the classic dinner and a movie. going to the amusement park. sharing a kiss while watching fireworks. 

feeling a little shy all of a sudden in his car, you nod. “is it a bit much?”

“not at all,” he says quickly. “i was just wondering how you’ve never done some of those things before. i would’ve thought going to the amusement park was entry level honeymoon phase stuff.” 

you nod approvingly. “it’s sweet that you think so.” 

“didn’t you use to have a boyfriend?” 

“i did,” you muse. “i dated mark a while ago.” 

“our senior?” 

“yeah.” looking out the window at the cars passing by, you think back to your time with mark. “he was always nice to me. but we never really went out and did things. we broke up because i was someone who loved romance, and he wasn’t.” 

 “i see.” haechan hesitates. there was something about the way you talked about mark that unsettled him, but he couldn’t pinpoint what it was. “do you think you could get back together with him?” 

“trying to pass me off onto someone else already?” you don’t pick up on the shift in haechan’s tone, and mistake it for genuine curiosity. “i guess i could. maybe after these years apart he wants something romantic too.” 

although the morning was warm, haechan felt a sense of cold sweep through him. he tries to brush it off. “well, thank your lucky stars you have me now” 

looking over at him, his hair falling slightly over his eyes, the troubled crease of his brow, your thoughts of mark immediately clear. “thank you,” you say, a little too emotionally for the early morning and this car ride. 

he looks over at you, and his chest eases up at the warmth in your eyes. “don’t mention it,” he says, and smiling at you is the easiest thing in the world.

x

the line for popcorn at the movies had stopped moving. fidgeting from the cold of the cinema, you wrap your arms around yourself as haechan stands by you, scrolling on his phone for a deal that he saw for a discounted drink combo. one arm slung casually over your shoulders, you lean into his touch just a little. 

today he was helping you out by taking you for a date. specifically, the classic dinner and a movie idea that has been long since rendered obsolete, but you had never had a chance to do. standing in line, his fingertips brushing your shoulder, you recall how he had showed up 5 minutes early outside your apartment, holding a small bouquet of flowers, and doing the thing where he flicked his fingers to splay out the two movie tickets he had ordered early on. the two of you had dinner at a nice italian restaurant, and he had offered to pay but you insisted, since you were technically making him do all of this. 

“are you cold?” drawing you out of your thoughts, you turn to see haechan, concern causing his eyebrows to furrow and his heart-shaped lips to form a slight pout. “why didn’t you bring a jacket? you knew we were going to watch a movie.” 

the line moves forward by a fraction of an inch, and you take a step forward, haechan now standing slightly behind you. “i completely forgot,” you whined. “i just haven’t watched a movie at the cinema in a while.” 

haechan bites back a smile, and slots his phone into his back pocket. the arm that is slung over your shoulder drops to your waist, while his other comes to circle around you from behind, and before you know it he’s pressed up against your back. you can feel the heat of his skin even with the thick hoodie he’s wearing over. dropping his head onto your shoulder, you feel him smile against your neck. “there,” he whispers. “now you won’t be cold anymore.” 

trying to steady your nerves, you stare resolutely ahead. “couldn’t have just given me your jacket like a normal person?” 

he shakes his head cutely, his soft hair tickling your jaw. “nope.” 

you make sure your voice stays resolutely calm. “then what will we do during the movie? you’ll be sitting next to me.” 

the line moves forward and haechan straightens, but his arms never leave your side. “guess you’ll have to hold on tight.”

and so you do. he ends up draping the hoodie over you during the movie, and he clings onto your arm, head resting on your shoulder. you hold on after the movie when he drops you off at home, grabbing onto his arm to steady yourself getting out of his car.

you hold on when he takes you for the next date at the amusement park; and when he tilts your chin upwards to press a kiss at the corner of your lips, your top-of-the-ferris-wheel moment,  you squeeze his hands in yours and move so your lips slot against his. you tell him with your smile that it’s alright. 

you hold on to him through your dates to the local aquarium, and to the beach. you let him pull you close as he drags you around the mall window-shopping, and as he guides you through clubs and restaurants. 

and if some part of you gets scared that it might be getting too real, if some part of you feels a little hurt whenever he brings up the list or when he removes your hand from his, you ignore it as best you can. 

x

“thanks for inviting me to this event,” you whisper, as you step into the doorway of the mansion, which really looks like a castle from the level of grandeur that meets your eyes. a man steps forward to take your coat, and you feel giddy. 

“nah, sorry for stealing you away on some random summer night.” haechan smiles, and you feel a tug in your heart. in his suit, he looks like he belongs here with all this finery, the slopes of his shoulders and the slight cinch of the waist looking elegant under the chandeliers, the rings scattered on his hands catching the light in pretty ways. “besides, it’s all part of the experience, isn’t it?” 

right. kissing and fireworks. trying to disguise the squeezing feeling in your chest, you smile back. “why do you keep bringing that up?” 

“do you not want me to?” there’s something careful about the way he looks at you. 

“i don’t.” you say, quietly. 

“then i won’t.” he extends an arm for you to take. “tonight you’ll just be my date.” and with your heart thundering up your throat, he steers you into the warmth of the room.

you spend most of the night in the same giddy spiral of emotions, as he twirls you on the dance floor expertly, and winces dramatically when you step on his toes. your hands never leave each others’ grasps, as you stand around tables eating finger-food and drinking champagne. as the party went on, he introduced you through holding up your clasped palms to each of his parent’s friends, earning a lot of cooing and fussing about. 

“haechan, how well you’ve grown up!” 

“is this your girlfriend? haechan is so lucky to be with such a beautiful girl like you.” 

“haechan! come say hello to the kids, they miss you!” 

“this won’t take long,” he mumbles sadly to you, as an aunt of his insists he meet his cousins upstairs. “i’ll meet you at the bar, okay?” 

“okay,” you smile, inwardly dying at the idea of haechan interacting with kids. as if he couldn’t get infinitely cuter. “have fun!” 

“don’t let someone steal my date away,” he warns, as he’s pulled away. “i mean it – you’re mine tonight.” 

you’re mine. you feel like you’re floating on a cloud as you make your way to the bar, you’re sure you’re at least swaying on your feet. 

“woah.” a hand reaches out to steady you, helping you settle into a seat. “too much champagne?” 

you gape at the man who’s sitting next to you now. “mark?” 

fidgeting with the collar of his suit and looking very uncomfortable, he nods in greeting. “didn’t know you were coming to this thing.” 

you look at him. he had gotten a haircut recently. but besides that in terms of appearance, he looked just as he did when the two of you were together, except for the fact that something about his demeanor was off. he looked tired, and there was something weary about his posture that hadn’t been there before. 

“i was invited,” you tell him. “how are you here?” 

“one of the ladies there is my aunt.” he pauses. “you’ve never met her. are you enjoying yourself?”

you think back to haechan’s smile as he sways underneath the lights, holding your hips. before you know it, you’re smiling too. “it’s a nice night. this place is really beautiful.” 

mark studies you for a moment.  “how have you been?” 

“i’ve been alright.” you figure since there aren’t any hard feelings, you don’t have to make anything up as you would for an ex you were bitter over. mark was still a nice person, and he had been good to you in the right ways. 

“it’s summer, so i’ve been going out more i guess. how about you?”

“i’ve been alright.” he downs his glass of white wine and signals for another one in a fluid motion, and you raise your eyebrows. shaking his head, he changes his answer. 

“okay, things could be better.” 

“why?” 

“just been feeling a little lonely.” 

you are so taken aback, that you let out a laugh. he looks at you, affronted, and somehow the furrow of his eyebrows makes you laugh even harder. 

“i’m sorry,” you calm yourself down. “i wasn’t laughing at you, not really. it’s just…” you take a sip of your own drink. “i was in the exact same situation say a few months ago.” at his bewildered expression, you gesture. “please continue, though.”

mark shrugs and goes along with it. “i guess i was just realizing that i wasn’t as happy as i could be. there were times where i would be – i don’t know, having dinner, and i’d just think ‘damn. really wish i had someone with me right now.’ you know?” 

“i do know.” you nod. “it’s crazy we’re experiencing the same thing, after, you know, so many years.” 

“yeah.” he looks at you carefully. “crazy.” 

“hey baby.” 

a hand slides possessively around your waist, and you jump. the next thing you know, a pair of lips are kissing their way down your neck, as another hand snakes its way around you until you are fully in their embrace. craning your head up, you already know who you’re going to see.

“hi haechan,” you say breathlessly. 

“sorry for leaving you for so long,” he murmurs, intermittently, as he continues to plant wet kisses on your neck. “the kids were going crazy.” 

feeling like you were about to burn up into a crumble of ashes, you splutter out, “we have company.” 

pulling away from you, haechan turns and stares at mark, coldly. “sorry, i didn’t notice.” his hand still draped over you, you can almost hear the forced normalcy in his voice when he asks, “and you are…?” 

“mark,” mark supplies, awkwardly fidgeting with the coaster under his glass. 

looking up at him, you see a flash of something race through haechan’s eyes, as he tightens his hold on you. “mark. well, hello, and goodbye.” 

he pulls you to your feet, and you set down your drink hurriedly and latch onto his arm. “say goodbye to mark, sweetheart.” 

“bye mark. things will get better, i’m sure of it,” you say, still left breathless by the turn of events. 

raising his eyebrows, he turns back to the bar. “see you around y/n.” 

“i don’t think so,” haechan chirps brightly, before tugging you away and past the throes of people, down a narrow hallway that was deserted. 

“haechan, what are you doing?” 

even in the dim lit of the hall, you can see his glower. “what were you talking to mark about?” 

“i don’t know…” you shake your head, still a bit lost. “just about life, i guess.” 

“did he ask to get back together with you?” he blurts out, suddenly. 

“what? no!” you splutter. 

“i heard him say he was lonely. who the fuck says that to their ex unless they want to get back together?” 

you take the hard look in his eyes. hesitantly, you call out. “haechan?” 

he huffs. 

“he didn’t want to get back together, i promise.” he looks at you, warily. “and even if he did, i wouldn’t want to get back together with him.” 

it is almost laughable how quickly his expression clears. 

“you wouldn’t?” 

“i wouldn’t,” you confirm. “i told you, i’m completely over it.” 

“okay,” he sighs, in something that sounds like relief. and before you could even register it, he pulls you into a hug, crushing you against him. “sorry, i guess i got nervous.” 

“that’s alright,” you whisper, wrapping your arms around him firmly, feeling his heartbeat against your ears, and you smile when you realise it’s racing. 

“hey it’s almost midnight,” he dips down to whisper into your hear. “do you want to go to the balcony to watch the fireworks?” as you nod, he leads you gently away from the corridor and through a set of glass doors, stepping out onto a beautiful balcony. the night air smells like honey and roses, and the sky is clear and bright with moonlight.  

you feel a tug at your fingertips, and you look to your side to find him smiling as he looks up. 

“what are you smiling about?” 

he hums. “i’m smiling about the fact that my date is the prettiest girl at the party.” 

you pretend to wrinkle your nose, and use your free hand to hit him on the shoulder. “corny.” 

“you love it.” 

and because it’s been weeks, and haechan is slowly making a home in your heart, you decide you need to at least start acknowledging the honest truth of the matter, so you don’t say anything. 

as the night sky fills with fireworks and the people inside the party cheer, he turns to hold your face in his hands, the tenderness and warmth in his eyes unparalleled by the lights in the sky. 

you tilt your face up to kiss him, and as his arms fall to your waist, with a jolt you remember his voice at the bar. hey baby. the term of endearment swirls in your chest, and makes you drape your arms around his shoulders and pull him just a little closer. the two of you don’t break apart for what feels like hours, as you lose yourself in the feeling of his soft lips on yours, the brush of your noses, and the slight tremble of his fingertips on your cheeks. it feels and tastes as real as you have ever known. 

x

except it’s not real. and you can’t ignore it. so you avoid it. 

keeping busy and finally diving into all the things you wanted to do for the summer was your only way of telling haechan you couldn’t make it for the next ‘date’, or the next. you can tell he’s a little confused, but since the whole thing was your idea, he’s trying his best to respect whatever pace you’re deciding to go with. you push it all away, and you try to live life without thinking of him and his hands, the way he closes his eyes in bliss when the sunlight makes his skin glow, the way his hair looks after he tugs his hoodie off, and the feel of his lips when he presses his face into the crook of your neck when he thinks you’re not paying attention. 

it’s late. you think you’ve definitely just had the longest day you’ve had all summer, running errands all around the city. all you wanted to do was lie in bed and put on a show that you could fall asleep to. lazily changing into your favorite pajamas, you set up your laptop on your bed, and you’re just about to press play when your phone screen lit up the dark room. 

jaem: wru

one of jaemin’s summer house parties must’ve been today. you were so tired that you forgot. 

y/n: too tired :( i don’t think i’ll go sorry

jaem: haechan needs you

you’re sure your heart actually stops beating for a second. haechan needs you. and just like that, your imagination kicks into overdrive, wondering what he could possibly need you for. 

holding your breath, you watch the three dots on your screen indicating jaemin typing for what seems like ages before your phone buzzes again. 

jaem: super hammered needs u to drive him home lol sry my bad that sounded weird

you let out a sigh of relief, but you can’t shake the adrenaline that rushed into you when you first saw the message.

y/n: can’t you let him crash at your place 

jaem: he won’t stop ASKING for u it’s driving everyone crazy 

a voice message comes through. he plays it, and it’s someone breathing really heavily. you’re beginning to wonder if jaemin sent this on accident, when haechan’s voice, low and husky from the alcohol, murmurs through the phone. 

“y/n can you hear me? i wanna….wanna see you… please…i’ll do anything…” 

“YOU’RE NOT BEING KIDNAPPED,” jaemin’s voice rings out, his words a little slurred but doing nothing to conceal the impatience in his tone. “GET A GRIP MAN.” 

“PLEAAAAASE”, he raises his voice in an impressive whine, and you wince in second-hand embarrassment because you’re sure the entire living room must have heard that. “I MISS YOU.” 

the voice message ends.

jaem: what a loser but yeah you get the gist of it

y/n: okay i’m on the way. can you get him on the phone? 

jaem: do it yourself

x

on the drive there, you do call haechan. 

he picks up halfway through the first ring of the phone. “y/n?”

“hi haechan. i’m on the way.” 

“don’t lie to me,” he mumbles. “honk your car horn.” 

“i’m not going to do that!,” you hiss, as if he were right here with you. “there are cars around.” 

“liar,” he breathes. there’s a pause, and when you next speak you’re startled to hear his voice wobble. “liar. you’re not coming to get m-” 

you slam your palm into your car horn, feeling your cheeks burn. 

on the other end, he sniffles, and you presume he’s nodding at you. “okay. stay safe.” 

“i will.” you hesitate. “is everything okay? did something happen at the party? are you hurt?”

he sighs over the phone. “everything is not okay,” he sniffles again, “because you’re not here.” 

you swallow hard. you want to take a hand off the wheel and slap yourself, because you need to remember that he’s not himself right now, and he might regret this all in the morning. you calm yourself down before responding as lightly as you can. “haechan i’ll be there any minute now, okay? but you have to tell me if something happened and if you want to talk about it.” 

he breathes heavily into the receiver. eventually, he mumbles out, “nothing happened.” shuffling, a pause, and then… “just miss you that’s all. i want to do more…more experience-y stuff with you.” more to himself than to you, he rambles on. “we’re falling behind you know. how are we going to finish this by the end of summer?” 

a shot of pain twists at your guts, and you feel nauseous. so he really just wants to get all of this over and done with. you want to stop the car so you can throw up. you want to turn it back around. you’re suddenly regretting dropping everything just because he wanted to see you, because if this was why… 

you keep driving on autopilot. the call has gone silent, but you can hear haechan breathing on the other end, and it’s driving you mad. you have no right to yell at him, but you almost do. 

when you pull up at jaemin’s driveway, you clear your throat. your voice controlled, you say, “i’m here now. you want me to come in and get you?” 

“okay. i’m in the 1st floor bathroom.” 

x

the front door swings open, and you’re met with jaemin. at first, you think he’s going to tell you off for taking so long, but something in your face causes the words to die in his throat. 

“y/n?” he asks. “are you okay?” 

and before you know it, you’re wrapped in his arms in a hug and you’re bawling like you hadn’t for months. the built up pressure of avoiding haechan, of having to get into character as his girlfriend and having to get out of character just as often, and all your confusion at your feelings leave you sobbing and you just can’t stop. jaemin’s running his hands down your back and making soft, soothing noises. 

you realise that you just really, really, missed your best friend. 

“i’m s-sorry,” you choke out. “i haven’t come round to see you ever since the start of s-summer.” 

“it’s okay,” he shakes his head, and leans back to look at you, wiping tears off your face gently. “we’ve both been busy.” 

but you shake your head. “i really need to talk to you. i need your opinion in my life.” 

he laughs at that. “i never thought i’d hear you say that.” 

you just go back to hugging him as you slowly calm down, and the constricting feeling in your chest eases. but after a moment, your phone buzzes in your pocket, and when you check it you see that haechan has spammed your text messages with a bunch of ‘?????????’ and sad faces. 

jaemin, ever the nosiest person in the room, is looking at your phone with a frown. “you never told me you started dating haechan, by the way.” 

ignoring the twist in your stomach, you shake your head. “that’s because i’m not.” jaemin raises his eyebrows, and you elaborate. “we’re just doing coupley things. for the experience.” 

narrowing his eyes because he knows you way too well, jaemin asks, “was this something you decided in the middle of the night? it’s sounding very classic middle-of-the-night-y/n ….” but at the look of frustration on your face, he immediately drops it. “okay, okay. not now. i get it.” 

“y/n? are you here?”

you still, as haechan shuffles into view. he squints, until he confirms that it’s you, and suddenly he’s rushing towards you giddily and unsteadily, his socked feet slipping and sliding on the floor of the hallway until hes collapsed in your arms. 

and there it is: his damn face in your neck again.

“wondered where you were, angel” you feel his hot breath against the base of your neck, and shivers shoot down your spine. “can i call you that? is it allowed?” 

exchanging glances with you, seeing how this was slowly making you go insane, jaemin reaches out hesitantly to pry him off of you. “haechan, maybe it’s best if you stay at my place tonight-” 

but haechan is quick to shrug him off, and with an agility that he shouldn’t be capable of in his state he pivots behind you and clings onto your back. his face once again buried in your neck. 

“don’t wanna,” he shakes his head vigorously. “wanna stay with y/n.” 

“y/n doesn’t want to stay with you,” jaemin starts forward again, making eye contact with you as he confirms, “right, y/n?” 

haechan spins you around in his hold, with the most wounded expression you’ve ever seen from him, or anyone for that matter. his eyes filling with tears, his cheeks flushed and his lip wobbling in an alarming way, he chokes out, “you d-don’t want…to s-stay…with me?” 

“i do, i do.” you assure him, trying to soothe him by drawing circles on his back with your thumb as he bites back sobs. over haechan’s back, you can see jaemin sigh defeatedly. “what am i supposed to do, he’s about to cry!” you hiss at him.

“he can cry on cue,” jaemin mouths. 

pause. what?

you look back at haechan’s face, but every expression seems to be genuine: his bottom lip caught between his teeth and the tears shimmering in his lashes, his hands — which he barely seems to be aware of — caressing your sides nervously, as if afraid you were going to disappear into thin air. 

“haechan,” you start. “are you lying to me?” 

x

but that was the wrong thing to say. the better part of the next hour was spent trying to console a weeping and sobbing haechan on his knees, who would not stop clutching your waist and biting jaemin when he tried to pry him off of you. and then it was guiding him to your car, and another round of consoling as you assured him that no, you weren’t going to disappear as you were driving, and no, you could not drive one-handed so you could not hold his hand the entire way, but yes, he could put his hand on your thigh if he promised he wouldn’t do anything else. 

you end up reaching, and then driving away from haechan’s apartment, because he would not leave the car without you and you figured that you might as well get a good night’s sleep at your own home. and somehow, you end up digging out some of mark’s old clothes out from the back of your closet for him to wear. and now, you’re standing between his legs, brushing his teeth for him while he looks at you adoringly. 

he mumbles something intelligible, his mouth full of toothpaste foam, and you shake your head tiredly at him. 

“nuh-uh. rinse your mouth out first.” 

you hold the spare mug up to his mouth and his lips wrap around the rim of it obediently. turning to spit in the sink, he swivels back to face you, his arms never leaving your side. 

“i’m sorry.” he says, quietly. 

“it’s okay. i know you’d do the same for me,” you say, patiently, because it’s true. if you were drunk, haechan would definitely drop everything to make sure you were safe. 

that you were sure of, because that was just the kind of person he was. 

“no,” he tugs his bottom lip with his teeth again, looking nervous. “it’s not about that.” his arms remove themself from your waist and he wraps them around himself instead. all of a sudden, you’ve never felt colder. 

“what do you mean?” 

he doesn’t look at you in the eye when he answers. “sorry for bringing up our deal. that’s not why i miss you.” 

you think you could cry. “really?” he nods, but his eyes are still on the floor. “haechan…” you press. “look at me.” 

he looks up. he looks so pretty right there, his heart-shaped lips and moles scattered haphazardly over his cheeks and nose. 

“so why do you miss me?” you ask, hoping against hope. his lips part, and for a split second you think he’s going to lean forward and kiss you. 

but then his lips press together. he shakes his head. and again. and then he slides off the counter, brushes past you and out of the bathroom despite you calling his name. and when you break yourself out of your daze and walk, trembling slightly, to your bedroom, you see him tucked under the covers, fast asleep. 

x

“i still don't’ get this ‘quiet haechan’ thing you keep going on about,” jaemin chews thoughtfully on a forkful of salad. “but okay, i’ll bite.” 

you’re having lunch with jaemin for the first time in weeks. with nothing much going on in his life for the summer, him waving you off when you apologised again about not checking in with him, the two of you breezed past your usual topics and quickly moved on to the elephant in the room: you and your fake relationship with haechan. 

nervously, you pick at your fries. “do you think i should just tell him we can stop now?” 

jaemin shook his head. “that’s not the main problem.” ever the mom best friend, he takes a pause for dramatic effect before leaning in. “the main problem is that your catching feelings policy is completely shit.” 

you glare at him, but don’t manage to keep it up. he’s right. “you think i should ask him about that?” 

“of course.” jaemin shrugs. “but you could also just confess and see what happens.” at your mortified expression, he raises a hand to calm you down. “you never know until you try.” 

unwilling to address the fact that he assumed you were in love with haechan, and the fact that he was probably right, you argue back. “you’re the one who’s friends with the both of us. do you have any idea if he maybe likes me or not?” 

“i’m not telling you,” jaemin says, stubbornly. “you have to make the decision and accept the risks it comes with.” 

you put your head in your hands. “i really hate you sometimes.”

x 

as it turned out, ‘sometimes’ turned out to be occuring quite frequently, because jaemin seemed hell bent on getting you to talk to haechan, even if it was through the most roundabout ways. 

such as inviting the beach-house group of friends over for dinner the next day, just so you had a reason to talk to haechan. 

and that led you to where you were, currently, jaemin putting the cap back on his black marker as the words “ASK ABT CATCH FEELINGS POLICY” scrawled over your wrist and palm. 

“i’ll remember to ask him, i swear,” you say impatiently, trying to wriggle your arm out of his grasp, but jaemin was a man on a mission. 

“i don’t trust you,” he insists. “this way, even if you don’t bring it up, he’ll read it off your arm, and you will both talk it out.” finishing up with a few exclamation points, he caps his marker triumphantly. 

you’re about to head to the bathroom to wash it off, when haechan shuffles into the living room, and embarrassingly it’s as if your mind is wiped clean. 

between the night he slept over and now, the two of you had only seen each other once. he had called to apologize for bothering you the night of jaemin’s party, and you made plans to have lunch together, not dinner (because night time was always an emotional affair for the two of you, as evidenced in the past few weeks). 

sitting in the sun, staring at him while he talked, the two of you eating in semi-silence, was enough for you to realise that no matter what time of day it was you would always be a little too giddy over him. the two of you, in some sort of mutual agreement, had left it at that — him bidding you goodbye with a pat on the shoulder, of all things. 

and now, standing in front of you, his eyes just as confusing with their tenderness, you think that jaemin may be onto something. 

“so how can i help?” haechan looks around the room, his mind on the dinner. “do we have all the materials? or…” 

“everything’s in the kitchen, haechan,” you nod in the direction of the dining table. “i’ll show you.” 

haechan nods, more to himself than you. then, hesitantly, he starts, “y/n…” 

something had to give. but not now, not as you felt everything in you crashing down, your heart threatening to spill over at the edges just at the sight of him again. 

“we’re good.” you interrupt. “everything’s going to be okay, haechan.” 

he bites his lip. 

“it will be,” you insist. “we’ll talk later, okay?” 

his expression clears a little at that. “okay.” 

x

in the car on the way home, jaemin insisting haechan drive you, it begins to drizzle slightly. after the moment from just now, the two of you had almost been able to go back to normal, working side by side and sitting together during dinner. topics opening up between you, discussing what happened in the days you hadn’t seen each other. things were comfortable, and you almost felt like you could go back to ignoring the aching feeling in your chest. 

it slowly starts to end when the car peels into the street in front of your apartment. the two of you go quiet, and haechan’s body is tense as he looks straight ahead.

you realise you hadn’t even brought up what you had meant to say. 

“do you…maybe…want to come inside?” you suggest. “we could watch a movie?”

“it’s late.” he says, almost automatically. he looks over at you, and you look so hesitant and sad. fuck. something stirs inside his chest, and suddenly he wants to do anything to take that look away from your face. 

“i mean, i could. just for a movie.” 

you smile, and haechan relaxes.

x

cozied up on your bed, haechan in a pair of sweats he had left over some other time, you slump against him as your eyes flicker between watching the movie on your laptop screen, and watching him. something about the way things were going tonight told you this might be the last time you could be with him like this, and you wanted to cherish it while you could. 

the music swells in the random drama film you picked, and you are feeling that feeling again, the one that you get when you’re about to spill your soul out, and even with haechan’s warmth against you — his arm tucked into your waist and your head resting against his chest, the reality that he wasn’t yours was crashing down all the walls in your heart. 

he realises you’re crying before you do, as he registers the jagged breathing from your chest, and the soft sounds you’re making. 

“y/n? what’s wrong?” 

“i-i, i just.” you breathe, and your sobs wreck through your words, each one stabbing painfully at his chest. “i’m just s-so tired of not h-having someone who loves me that much.” 

running a hand up and down your back, haechan makes soft cooing noises as you bury your face in his chest. “okay. so watching this film was a baaaad idea.” 

you’re muffled sobs soak through his hoodie, and you press it closer to your face because it smells safe and it smells like him. your emotions running away from you, you splutter out, “maybe i’ll never find s-someone. maybe i just have to deal w-with it. these experiences are just t-temporary fixes, aren’t they? i’ll never find someone who l-loves me. i mean, right now i am so in love with you and you don’t even seem to c-care —” 

haechan stills. he sits there, motionless, you still quivering in his arms, as his brain kicks into overdrive. 

you’re in love with him? 

incoherent, you’re still talking on and on, and suddenly he knows it isn’t something he should be hearing. 

“shut up.” he says, quietly, but you ignore him and ramble on. “shut up,” he insists. 

“you d-don’t want me,” you sob, and somewhere in the back of your mind you know you’ll be embarrassed about this later, but for now all you could focus on was the fact that haechan wasn’t reacting because he was probably completely disgusted at the idea of even being with you. “i-i started to ignore you because it was too difficult to be around you, and suddenly you show up drunk and asking for me, and then you just act like nothing happened and i have the feeling that i’ll never see you again-”

“fuck it,” he breathes, and suddenly he’s holding your face in his hands, moving you away from his chest. “shut up, y/n. please.” and then he is kissing you, his mouth moving on yours, begging you to understand. you think he’s drawing the breath straight from your lungs, and you’re sure your lips will bruise, but you kiss him back with even more fervor, settling your weight on his lap as you lean into him, and he groans. 

breaking away from you, breathing heavily, he reaches for your hands and begins to press kisses to your knuckles, trying to ease you. 

“haechan…” you start, because everything is so confusing to you at this moment. “don’t-you don’t mean it-”

“what’s this?” he interrupts, as he flips your palm up, raking the sleeves of your hoodie upwards so the words “ASK ABT CATCH FEELINGS POLICY!!!!!”, smudged but unmistakable, could be read even in the dim room. 

“oh, y/n…” he whispers, reaching to stroke your cheek. leaning into his palm, completely lost in his touch, you mumble on. 

“jaemin said our catching feelings policy was shit…” you blurt out. “and i agree. i want a new one. i want to be allowed to love you.” 

gently, haechan continues to whisper to you. “you’re the one making the rules.” trembling, his arms wrap around you, and he rocks you in his hold tenderly. “you’ve always been the one making the rules. i would do anything you told me to. i would love you if you asked.” 

you don’t understand any of the words he’s saying. “no,” you raise your voice a little louder, even though he’s still speaking in that low voice. “you don’t want me.” your eyes fill with tears, you can see it now: he’s comforting you, he’s lying to you because you’re crying, and haechan is nothing but good to you, a kindness and gentleness in everything he does that you just know you’ll never feel again. 

“y/n that’s not true,” he shakes his head resolutely. “please believe me.” 

his voice is patient and soothing, and it’s that tone which slowly calms you down. the gentle rhythm of his hands tracing circles on your arms allowing you to breathe easier, and relax a little in his hold to be able to really look at him. and it’s the worry in his eyes, and softness in the way he’s looking at you which makes something click into place in your head. 

and so what if everything in your relationship with him was supposed to be fake — the dates, the moments he’s introduced you as his girlfriend. everything else in between had started to be real for you — the kisses, the time you told him not to mention the deal or the list or the experience at all and so he didn’t, brushing his teeth for him as he sat on the counter, skin brushing against yours.

and so what if it was real for him too — the times where he’s held your hand or pulled you close when you weren’t paying attention, the nights on the drive back when he would look over at you incessantly?

untangling yourself from him, you reach for the notebook and pen you keep on your nightstand.  he doesn’t stop you, tilting his head in confusion. 

“what are you doing?” 

holding it out to him, your heart hammering in your chest, you gesture for him to take it. “write me something i can read when i wake up. it’s so i have…,” you take a breath. “it’s so i have proof that it’s real.”

something stirs in haechan’s chest. taking the pen in his hands, he begins to scrawl on the notebook, looking up at you as he’s writing. 

“if you still feel the same way, call me as soon as possible, okay?” 

“okay,” you promise, breathlessly. 

the yearning in your eyes is driving him crazy. guiltily, he reaches for you again, and slots his lips in yours, holding you tightly against him. as if kissing you was the last thing he would ever get to do. 

you have half a mind to move into his lap, wrap your legs around his waist and keep him with you forever, but already he pries your hands away from him and heads for the door, reluctance making his movements disjointed and shaky. 

“go to sleep, y/n.” he says, gently. “i’ll see you soon.” 

and with that, he’s gone, and you’re left on your bed, the note at your bedside burning a hole into your table. shutting away your laptop, you curl up under the covers, and somewhere in your mind you pray that the light of day doesn’t treat you too harshly.  

x

dear y/n, 

last night you told me that you were in love with me. i don’t know if it was the loneliness, or even if it was too late at night for you to be thinking straight. all i know is that i love you too. i didn’t think you would want me unless we were playing pretend. but now i can’t look at you without realising i am completely fucking in love with you. i’m sorry that you never knew, and that somehow i messed up to the point where you didn’t believe me when i told you. if you wake up tomorrow and you still want me, call me. i will do everything with you again if it means it’ll be real. 

love, haechan

x 

it’s a little difficult to be around your friend group when they’re all like this. 

summer was drawing to a close, the optimism at the start and the feeling of endless days under the sun slowly fading to a blistering heat, which then slowly tapered out into a hazy sense of being in limbo. soon the seasons would change, the days get shorter and the nights grow longer, the loneliest parts of the year stretching out before everyone. the sense that this had been another summer of wasted potential, the sense of taking a deep breath before the dive, of holding love close to one’s heart and hoping it’s enough to last through the winter, hanging in the air.

you had walked over to jaemin’s apartment for breakfast with everyone, practicing the entire way. you were going to tell haechan you wanted to talk to him. pull him away from the group, and talk to him in a separate room. the letter from last night, from him, seeming to burn right through your palms, words you wanted to echo right back at him. 

but when you opened the door, you realise he wasn’t there. instead, everyone else sat slumped around the living room, prodding at various snacks and cans, and waving at you lazily as you picked your way through them, looking for the familiar mop of brown hair and eyes you had come to love. 

“jaemin,” you make your way to your friend, who’s crumpled into the couch himself. 

“hey y/n,” he smiles at you easily. “how did it go yesterday?” 

“well it’s still going,” you admit. “where’s haechan?” 

jaemin furrows his brow. “i swear he just arrived. i think he said something about getting us breakfast.” 

your body moves before you can think to, winding through the room and carrying you towards the front door and out into the driveway. and there it is — his car, slowing backing out. and through the window you can see him, looking over his shoulder, the familiar twist of his neck you knew so well. the arm he would throw over the passenger seat. 

you call out to him, and by some miracle he hears you. he stops the car jerkily, and you rush towards him. he had just barely gotten out of the car when you fall into his arms — you think you never want to be separated from him again. 

squeezing you against his chest, he murmurs next to your ear. “you read my message?” you nod. “i meant every word,” he says, kissing the crown of your head. “i know we’ve done this all backwards. really sometimes i just wish i could go back and ask you out like i should have done.” 

“i don’t regret it,” you tell him truthfully. stepping back from his hold, you interlock his hands with yours, relishing the familiar feeling. “i don’t regret any of the things we did.” 

“me neither.” he hesitates. “actually…maybe i regret getting drunk at jaemin’s party.” he shuffles his feet. “i missed you a lot, and i feel like i should have just told you then.” 

“maybe.” pause. “or you should tell me again now, because i don’t think i’ve heard you say it.” and it’s something that’s a little teasing, because at this point you know he loves you just as much as you love him, but haechan takes it so seriously — straightening up, he holds your hands against his chest, looking deep into your eyes. you feel a little out of breath from the way he’s looking at you. 

“i’m really sorry,” he starts. “for everything. i love you so much. everything i ever told you, every time we’ve touched, it was real for me.” 

“and if i believe you?” 

he smiles. and it’s a look you know so well, the familiarity in reading his expressions and talking to him without words hitting you full force. 

“just tell me you love me too,” he says, softly. “not because it’s at night, and you’re feeling lonely, and not while you’re crying. was it real for you too?”

and even though you’re soon interrupted by jaemin, who urges the two of you to go get breakfast together. even though the two of you keep making lists of places you want to go, and things which feel like love to you — haechan presenting you with music to dance in the kitchen to, afternoons spent restaurant hopping and nights spent driving to look at the ocean and sit under the stars. even as winter eventually rolls around, and the two of you bundle yourselves up in the apartment, his cheeks perpetually a shade of red which makes you want to kiss him —

neither of you forget the way it all started. that first time he held your hand in the middle of the kitchen and warmed you all the way through.  because everything was real. and in a way, it always had been.

---