Helllooo How Are Youuu Any Updates On Too Young?
helllooo how are youuu any updates on too young?
hi lovely i finally updated :) thanks for reading
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aripoopies liked this · 2 years ago
More Posts from Jeonggukookies
Any chance you‘ll be updating or writing on „better“ anytime?
hello! thanks for asking :) this summer i am currently studying for the lsat, and hope to continue at least two chapters by this summer, but if not, i will for sure post one chapter. thank you for reading <3
better || seven
summary: you face the hard truth from jimin and the rest of your family
word count: 1970
genre: bestfriend!jimin, college!au, bestfriends to lovers!au - fluff/angst
one || two || three || four || five || six || seven
The next morning, the sun rose and was peeping through the black curtains and jimin was gone. The blankets tucked around you were being held against your chest, trying to ignore the ache forming there. Taking a deep breath, you dragged yourself out of bed and wiped the tears in your eyes before they could even fall.
You had to get used to this. The feeling of heartache would soon go away and the way your heart would race after hearing jimin’s name would too. You needed to go back to see him as a best friend, not anything more. And if that feeling never goes away, it would just take time and some space away from everyone especially from him to ever act the same again.
You pulled your dresser drawer open and grabbed a new set of clothes. A navy-blue college sweatshirt and some white sweatpants would suffice today. You were a mess, so it would only be fair if you looked like a mess.
Twisting your silver door handle, there was Jimin, standing in front of the kitchen sink. his hair was tangled and up everywhere. He was rubbing his eyes with his fists as you slowly walked to the kitchen. You could wake up to this, to him, but you couldn’t and it hurt you.
“Good morning.” Jimin’s words come out nonchalantly as if everything between the two of you was okay. “Sorry, did I wake you? I was going to make some breakfast, but you really don’t have the items needed for it.”
“Jimin, please.” Just like last night, your soft voice cracked again. You didn’t even know what you were begging him to do. All you knew is that you couldn’t take it anymore. The fact he was acting as if everything was the same was killing you. He shouldn’t be here. “I can’t do this.”
Taking a step backwards, he stepped forward and reached out to cup your left cheek with his hand. “We have things to talk about, I know. But right now, let’s just enjoy some cereal.”
“I’m not ready.” Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath. Being in the same room was already hard enough, and you knew there was no way you could even look at him without feeling your heart break all over again. “Please just leave me alone. Forget about yesterday.”
“I can’t lose you again.” His voice cracked.
“Please, just go,” you begged. “I never ask for much, can you do this one thing?”
“You need to know the truth.” Looking up, Jimin had tears in his eyes. “When Taehyung told me to go with him to get his cousin at the train station, I thought that you were going to be an annoying person to have around, but then I thought to myself ‘wow, she’s beautiful. how is she related to Tae?’ when I saw you with your messy hair and smudged glasses.”
If it were any other situation, you would roll your eyes, chuckle and playfully punch him. In fact, it was such an instinct to do that you had to hold yourself back. There was something telling you that you should tell him to stop, but you stayed quiet, staring at him, trying to put his thoughts into the world.
His words echoed in your head.
You need to know the truth.
“I thought you got super cool each time I talked to you, and the day we went to get ice cream, was the day it all changed for me. When you were looking at the menu, trying to decide a flavor, I thought to myself ‘I could never get tired of this’ and I never did.” He smiled at the memory, wishing he could relive it all over again. “When we became closer, I was so happy, because you were just incredible and I was just me. I kept everything in because you deserved someone better..”
He paused, thinking you would have some snarky comment about either if he thought he could ever be that or who was he the one to decide that. Taking your silence, he began speaking again.
“But when I saw you in the white wedding ball gown, I completely lost it. I knew I had to be the one at the end of the aisle, seeing you walk down in a white, getting married to you.” Jimin sounded like he wanted to cry a river of tears. His voice cracked at every few words like yours did last night. His heart was rushing as he poured out his feelings to you as you listened with tears streaming down your face like Niagara Falls. “And that day at the fair meant everything to me but I just thought how could someone like you want me, so I texted Jessica and I felt absolute shit when you told me how you felt, and I said nothing. I wanted to say it back, god, I did.”
Despite everything you had been through, your face couldn’t help but to pout at his words. He had no idea the effect he had—has— on you. You knew he was telling the truth.
“But how right would it be when Jessica was literally calling me all day that day? We never got back together and before you can say anything, she told me she saw you when you came over to hang out with Jin.” Your eyes widened, not knowing he knew about your encounter with Jessica. “The night of your birthday, when you left me, I told her the truth over the phone. That all this time it will always be you. It was all bad timing that she was returning all my stuff the day you happened to see her. We never got back together, you have to believe me.”
And you did, but you stayed quiet.
“And my dumbass stopped talking to you because I thought you would want space, but, darling, please know that I never meant to hurt you at all. I love you, god, I fucking do. Every time I told everyone that we didn’t like each other just like that, I didn’t have the guts to admit it in case you never felt it. I love you like that. I love you more than Prince Harry loves Meaghan. I would give up everything for you, and I am so sorry to put you through that pain. Because you didn’t deserve that. And I will never forgive myself for letting you go that day and for not saying it back.” There were wet tears coming from Jimin’s eyes. Your thumb wiped the tears off causing him to chuckle and cup your face. He wiped your tears and smiled down at you. “Hi my love.”
After his confession, you still were speechless. The only thought that came into your head was the memory of your conversation with Tiffany the night of the bar when she asked you about your feelings towards Jimin. He felt a similar way to you that he had rather be your friend than to lose you by confessing his feelings.
Somehow, you were to oblivious to realize what had been there along.
But he knew what he was doing when telling everyone you were just friends and treating you like a girlfriend when he had broken up with Jessica. He had been trying to protect himself. He played with your feelings, hoping you would get the hint. He thought he would be doing you a favor, but you could easily see how he was putting himself in a position not to be hurt.
“I need time.”
“I know.” He nodded in understanding. “I just want you to talk to me when you’re ready, even if you do not feel the same way anymore after everything.”
“And what if I’m never ready?” You asked in a small voice that you couldn’t even recognize it was you speaking.
Although Jimin had never heard you use the kind of tone, he knew that might be true: that you may never ever be ready to see him again. “Even ten years from now, I will be around. I promise, I would wait a lifetime for you even if I can only have you as a best friend.”
_______
“What are you thinking about?” Your dad asked you as the two of you and Taehyung were sitting around your mother’s grave while Taehyung’s parents were still on their way.
You felt guilty for thinking about Jimin when you were standing in front of your mother’s grave. You thought about his actions and how he made the decisions without you. Looking up at your dad, you asked, “Why did you leave me alone?” Your dad’s eyebrows raised in confusion, not expecting your question, especially six years later. “I know you thought it was for the best for me, but why didn’t you asked me before you left?”
“Y/N,” Taehyung articulated. “I don’t think now is the right time for this.”
“It’s okay, Kiddo,” Your dad reassured him, giving him a sad smile. “You deserve to know the truth. Quite frankly, I’m surprised it took you this long to ask when I know you think about everything, just like your mother. Ask me everything on your mind, and I will tell you.”
“Why did you leave me all alone when I needed you after Mom died? Why did you make that decision without me?” You cried softly.
“I wasn’t ready to be there, and I thought I was doing what was best for you, but it was really best for me. I was afraid to not raise you right and disappoint your mother, you, and me,” he answered. “And I am so sorry for not being there for you when you needed me. It took me so long to realize that I should have been there and I want to make it up to you as long as you let me.”
“Don’t you think it’s a little too late?” Taehyung started rubbing your back, trying to comfort you through your tears. “You’re supposed to be my dad, and yet you left me, feeling like we’re as close as strangers! I lost my mom and it was like I had to lose another parent unofficially.”
“You’re right, it wasn’t fair to you. I thought it would be better for you, but I was wrong, and I know that saying sorry or telling you all these reasons isn’t going to fix anything. But I want to fix it now.”
“And how to forgive you? How do you repair the hole that you left?” You asked, wiping your tears.
“Realizing how much it hurt you and me, you don’t deserve to continue to carry the negative feelings of resentment and disappointment. You deserve to be happy, and I owe it to you to make that happen. You deserve to know that it wasn’t your fault, and it was mine.”
A small part of you did resent your father for leaving you all alone, making you blame yourself for his absence. But as you listened to your father tell you that it wasn’t your fault, you finally began to feel a weight off your shoulders, as if his words had healed you. You could begin letting go of everything that had harmed you.
People will make mistakes, and sometimes they need to figure out their shit before they could be the best version of themselves to be there for you.
Your dad reached there.
Jimin just reached there.
And now it was your turn.
You had to forgive them and be more compassionate to yourself.
Wrapping your arms around your father, you cried, releasing all the pain you had been carrying, wishing for your mom to come back and tell you it’ll be okay.
___
a/n: two more chapters left :)
