Jesslou21 - Random Witchiness

oof my friend was talking about how he wants to get back into golf and hinted at taking me to go golfing with him and I really said “you ain’t getting me on a golf course unless it’s to bomb it with native wildflowers” why can’t I talk to normal people

A punk stops during a gay pride parade to allow a mesmerized child to touch his jacket spikes.

discussions about language from the discord call i was just in w/ friends:

- "my girlfriend can never remember the english word for 'rubber band', so she just calls it 'circle rope', and i've accidentally started saying it too"

- "when i was a kid i didn't realise that when my grandmother spoke english she used to mix in italian with it, so i used to say 'allora' instead of 'then' because i just assumed it was english too and my parents didn't realise until i wrote it in my schoolwork once and confused my teachers"

- "when i first met my girlfriend's mum she asked me if i wanted to eat thai food and i tried to say, in thai, "sorry, thai food is too spicy for me", but i accidentally said "sorry, thai food is too sexy for me"

- "one time my flatmate went to print off something at her friend's office and heard her greet her boss in French, and asked her if she had been greeting him like that everyday. she realised that her friend had been saying something like "good morning, i'm horny" to her boss every day for the last six months"

- "that time i got really drunk on a boat a guy came up to me asked me where i was from in english, and i replied in swedish. every time he spoke to me i replied to him in swedish and he asked my friend if i spoke english, who had the joy of telling him that english was my first language and i was just really hammered"

- "my parents came to visit me at the end of my stay in sweden and i was so excited to show them how much swedish i had learnt, so i took them to a pub and went to the bartender to order. i ordered everything in perfect swedish, the bartender waited until i finished and then said, "i'm really sorry, but do you speak any english? i don't speak swedish"

- "one time my friend was on a train in the netherlands that stopped because of losing electricity. the announcement was given in multiple languages, 3 of which he could understand, and all of which made sense until it got to the english one, where the conductor announced that the train had "lost its elasticity"

They’re (NFT’s) Non-Flammable Tapestries