Based On Frank Having Seen Infinity War In The Tyrant's Tomb

Based on Frank having seen Infinity War in The Tyrant's Tomb

Friday 12/21/18 - 14 years PERCY

08/18/20 - 16 years

12/22/11 - 12 years THALIA

07/12/11 - 7 years  ANNABETH

12/22/99 - 0 years

12/22/04 - 5 years

12/22/06 - 7 years

07/12/04 - 0 years

07/01/06 - 0 years  JASON

07/01/22 - 16 years

07/01/23 - 17 years

08/18/04 - 0 years

08/18/22 - 18 years

08/18/17 - 13 years

12/21/07 - 14 years PERCY

08/18/09 - 16 years

12/21/00 - 12 years THALIA

07/13/00 - 7 years ANNABETH

07/13/93 - 0 years

12/21/88 - 0 years

12/21/93 - 5 years

12/21/95 - 7 years

07/01/95 - 0 years JASON

07/01/11 - 16 years

08/18/93 - 0 years

08/18/95 - 2 years

08/18/11 - 18 years

08/18/06 - 13 years

@leah-uley

The gods not understanding how demigod kids work😂 I’m just waiting for the moment one of their kids gets a paper cut or something and they’re just like, “PAPER! THEY SOMEHOW GET HURT BY PAPER!”

Okay, but the duality of human beings is SO wild that I’m positive this information would absolutely break them.

There are humans that can survive great heights? But only sometimes? And other times they die? It is really just up to chance and how you land?

Humans can fall down a flight of stairs and say they’re completely fine, but PAPER hurts them and they whine about it all day?

Gunshot wounds? Yeah, we can recover from that (well, depending on where you’re hit, maybe). As long as invisible bacteria doesn’t get into the wound without us noticing... then we might die even if the blood is gone and wound sewn up.

Zeus is like “There are people out there who survive my lightning strikes?” and then learns the same person died like.... three hours later from choking on a hotdog.

Hermes, with a magazine: Athena! Look at this. It says here that 1 in every 15,000 humans die from exercising too much.

Athena: But... they need exercise? All my research says they need exercise!

Annabeth: You did hear the one in FIFTEEN THOUSAND part, right?

Hades: HOW ARE THEY DYING FROM DOING THE THING THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO DO! DAMNIT!

Then you have Demeter running in like:

Demeter: KILL THE MOSQUITOES! KILL THE MOSQUITOES!!!

Ares: Why?

Demeter: Look at this! I ran the numbers while in the Underworld while visiting Persephone. One million people die a YEAR from mosquitoes. We have to kill them.

Ares: There’s no way these punks are dying from these tiny bugs.

Demeter: Apparently, they carry diseases.

Ares, softly: ...holy shit. Biological warfare.

Apollo, flipping a table: IS NOTHING ON THIS GODDAMN PLANET SAFE ANYMORE?!

Chiron, still trying to explain everything: Nothing on this planet was ever safe at any point... ever.

Athena: Pandora’s box?

Chiron: You guys pin wayyyyy too much on that poor girl.

Later on, you have Nico walking up in bubble wrap like ‘okay, which one of y’all told the gods that it hurts when we stub our toes?’ and you got Piper in helmet and knee pads all bitter like ‘It wasn’t me’ and Will is just looking so guilty before quietly going ‘I just wanted to explain how nerves worked’

They try to explain it all to the gods and it just... gets so much worse.

Zeus: So... the medicine... that heals you.... can also kill you...?

Will: I mean, if you overdose, yeah. It’s the same with ambrosia-

Hermes: AMBROSIA CAN KILL YOU!?

Percy: HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THIS?!

Hephaestus: That’s it. All of you are too fragile. We’re going to have to make a safer planet. This is ridiculous. Maybe we can just put them all on Venus or something-

Leo: We need oxygen to survive, Dad.

Ares: You’re kidding me, right?

Annabeth: Um, no, but... well... we can’t actually have too much oxygen or we’ll-

Poseidon: LET ME GUESS! You die?! For the love of Rhea! How has anyone survived anything?

Nico: Well... we all end up dead at some point, so arguably... we don’t survive?

And finally:

Jason: you guys created humans. Why don't you know this?

Zeus: No. Prometheus created humans and quite frankly he did a TERRIBLE job-

Everyone's favorite 2020 character are back!

That's right! Murder hornets in the USA.

PJO ages

12/21/07 - 14 years PERCY

08/18/09 - 16 years

12/21/00 - 12 years THALIA

07/13/00 - 7 years ANNABETH

12/21/88 - 0 years

07/01/96 - 0 years JASON

07/01/12 - 16 years

08/18/93 - 0 years

08/18/12 - 19 years

08/18/06 - 13 years

For all of the northerners that stood up for Texas during our freeze and said, "Don't make fun of them, they've never dealt with this before. Their infrastructure isn't made for snow and freezing."

This one is for you.

Where I live 108°F with 80% humidity with no wind is normal.

Pacific North West is dealing historic best waves 35-40°C or 95-105°F.

First of all. Don't make fun of them for bitching about the heat. Just like Texas isn't built for a freeze and our pipes burst, Pacific North West isn't built for heat and a lot of their homes don't have AC.

If you live somewhere with a high humidity like 80+ HUMIDITY IS NOT YOUR FRIEND. The "humidity makes it feel cooler" is a lie once it gets beyond a point.

If you live somewhere with a lower humidity, misters are nice to cool off outside.

Once you get over 90°F (32°C) a fan will not help you. It's just pushing around hot air. (I mean if you can't afford a small AC unit because they're expensive as hell, by all means a fan is better than nothing).

If you have pets, those portable AC units aren't safe. If your pets destroy the outtake thing, it'll leak CO2. Window units are safer.

Window AC units will let mosquitoes or other small bugs in. Sucks, but that's life.

Now is not the time to me modest. If you have to cover for religious reasons, by all means. If you don't, I've seen people wear short shorts and a swim top. It's not trashy if it keeps you from getting heat stroke.

If you do have to cover up for religious reasons, look for elephant pants or something similar. They're made with a breathable material.

Shade is better than no shade, but that shit it just diet sun after some point. Don't think shade will save you from heat stroke.

I know the "drink your water" is a fun meme now, but if you're sweating excessively you need electrolytes. Drink Gatorade, Powerade, or Pedialite PLEASE. I don't care if you're fucking sitting in one spot all day. That shit WILL save you from heat stroke.

Most importantly. RESEARCH THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HEAT STROKE AND HEAT EXHAUSTION PLEASE!

If you're diabetic and can't drink Gatorade, mix water, fruit juice, and either lite salt or pink salt

If you can afford it, cover windows with thick curtains to insulate the house

If you have tile floors, lay on them with skin to tile contact. If you don't, laying your head on cool counters works too.

If the temperature where you're at is hotter than your body temperature, don't wear heat wicking clothing. Moisture wicking is safe though.

Check your medication labels. Many make you more susceptible to sun and heat

-Room temperature water will get into your body faster. This is something I learned doing marching band in high summer in Georgia, and it saved all of our asses. Sip it, don't gulp it, especially if you're getting into the red; same goes for whatever fluid you're drinking. And just in general drink during the day.

-If you are moving from an air conditioned space to an un-air conditioned space, if at all possible try to make the shift gradual. When my dad and I were working outside and in un-ac houses a few years ago, he'd turn the air down to low in the truck about ten-fifteen minutes before we got where we were going. This way your body doesn't go from low low temps to high temps. S'bad for you.

-If you can, keep your lights off during the day. Light bulbs may not generate a lot of heat, but the difference is noticeable when it gets hot enough. I literally only turn my bedroom light on in the evening when it gets too dark.

Don't be afraid to just like... pour water on yourself if you need to. The evaporation will cool you off.

Put your hand to the cement for 15 seconds. If you can't handle the heat, it'll burn your dog's paws. Don't let them walk on it.

Dogs with flat faces are more prone to heat stroke. Don't leave them out unsupervised.

Frozen fruit is delicious in water.

Wet/Cold hat/handkerchief on your head/neck will help you stay cool.

Pickle juice is great for electrolytes! You can even make pickle juice Popsicles!

Heat exhaustion is more, "drink water and get you cooled off." Heat stroke is more "Oh my god call 911."

Image Description provided by @loveize

[Image description: an infographic showing the difference between heat exhaustion and heat stroke. The graphic is labeled "Heat Dangers: First Warning." Signs of heat exhaustion: faint or dizzy, excessive sweating, cool, pale, clammy skin, rapid, weak pulse, muscle cramps. If you think you or someone else may be experiencing heat exhaustion, get to a cool, air-conditioned place, drink water if conscious, and take a cool shower or use cold compress. Signs of heat stroke: throbbing headache, no sweating, red, hot, dry skin, rapid, strong pulse, may lose consciousness. If you think you or someone else may be experiencing heat stroke, call 911. End description]

Be safe.

-fae

I’ve decided to make a sequel to this post. I like the idea that even after learning more about how humans work, the gods still don’t… quite get it. Instead, they go on the opposite end of the spectrum and just think anything and everything could kill them.

Will: dad… this… is not what I meant

Apollo: what do you mean? you said milk makes your bones strong

Will: I did

Apollo: So without milk your bones are weak

Will: I love you, but how are you the god of medicine?

Apollo: I don’t understand where I went wrong. You need to drink milk else you die! Here’s a cow. Go crazy.

Will: it bothers me that you’re also the god of logic

Meanwhile…

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