So... I Was Doing Nothing Today (as Usual) And I Saw @strawb3rrystar Saying How Much They Saw Them Mutuals

So... I was doing nothing today (as usual) and I saw @strawb3rrystar saying how much they saw them mutuals being "normal" and... Well, I am a mutual. So here I am proofing they's wrong.

Or at least what they want they want them mutuals to be... 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂

𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 behavior ahead.

I try to write without the help of pictures. I love thick characters, you know, fat asses and heavy breasts. That may have you thinking of women but I say that femboy with fat asses also make me crazy. If they have a little belly wowie. Because I obsessed with human skin when it's soft and big because I want to bite, nibble, kiss and absolutely worship. Jesus fucking Christ I need that stress relief on my hands and mouth, I need to make It jiggle (specially ass) with a slap or with just me moving it around and twerking is.my.weakness.

Ohhh it makes me hard (I man surprise idk why it's a surprise to be honest I kinda don't remember if I ever mention it no I did I sorry I kinda just spitting everything that comes to mind) and it makes me want to pound it, specially because I know that shit is going to clap and I want it to clap. I want the smells of sex and heat, I want the lewd sounds, I want it all.

Back a little, I said I like a anal but I never did how much and it's A FUCKING LOT. Jesus- okay let me stop saying because it's getting repetitive, uhhh- Buddha, it's a lot, you know why? I don't need to worry about pregnancy, simple. O CAN RAVAGE IT UNTIL THE SUN COMES UP WITH NO CONSEQUENCES! no financial that is because it's probably hurt a lot for both parties... Oh you don't think so? It's because I don't fuck, I make love... hard (yes you know the reference) AND I will eat that ass like a five star meal oh I FUCKING will.

Idk if I a sub or a Dom or a switch, but I do know if I going to bed with someone I will WORSHIP their body and GIVE IT MY ALL.

SPECIALLY IF IT'S A MILF OMG SPECIALLY-

she's treat me nice, and like a good boy (being called a good boy is my weakness) I will do all she wants which I pray is the same depraved shit I do :3

...

I could say more but... I think I ruined my reputation enough for today...

Rebloging this to remind myself.

No particular reason...

Striker/Reader idea, but it’s under the cut and I’m labeling it Dead Dove just in case!

So I love using Soulmate AUs to explore dramatic (re: angsty) plots and Striker’s superiority complex would be really fun to address with one imo.

I’m thinking imp!Reader goes to the Harvest Moon Festival with the rest of I.M.P. as a new employee. It’s a last-minute workplace retreat! Sure, why not. Anyway, you meet Millie’s family and everything proceeds as the episode does, until introductions bring you face-to-face with Striker. And oh shit, as soon as your eyes meet there’s this terrible electric charge between you that can only mean one thing (we can substitute this with a different or more specific Soulmate AU favorite - words on the wrist, timers going down to zero, seeing color for the first time, etc.).

Striker manages to keep up his strong southern bravado, all while he’s slowly panicking inside. He retreats to the stables after messing with Moxxie to a satisfying degree, only to lash out and cause a bit of damage to the property. This is the worst possible moment for something like this to happen. And it’s a fucking imp? That’s his soulmate?! An itty bitty, average, ordinary weakling taking orders from that Blueblood-sucking clown Blitzø???

But why is it worth getting so distraught over? Yes, he’s on a mission to assassinate Stolas at the festival, but surely finding your soulmate can’t get in the way of that…

Well, what if we combine the Soulmate AU with Fuck or Die? :33333333

Striker is literally in heat once he and Reader make contact, and there’s a time limit to consummating this unwelcome union and claiming each other before you both drop dead. It’s gonna make winning those Pain Games and killing the Goetia Prince without getting caught that much more difficult.

YES DEER SKULL!!! THAT LOOKS FUCKING AWESOME

Eldritch 📻🍎 (with my eldritch luci redesign)

Partial transformation and cosmic horrors doing cute things.

I love having a life where I get to do nothing the entire week besides the things I need to do until I get a mental breakdown because then I CAN'T FUCKING COMPLAIN BECAUSE FUCK ALL HAPPENED!

Seriously, I go to discord to "vent" is the most horrible thing because I say "I going crazy" and everyone is wonderful at supporting me, and then they vent about HOW THEY FUCKING WENT TO THE VIETNAM WAR AND GOT THEIR LEG BLOW OFF AND I SIT HERE CRAZY AND SAD AGAIN!!

The fuck I suppose to do!?!? Say things will get better!? MOTHERFUCKER HAS LUCIFER (biblically accurate) UNDERNEATH THEIR BED AND I SUPPOSE TO JUST SAY "relax" WHAT THEN I SAY?

AND I GET SAD, HORRIBLE, CRY FOR THEM AND AAAFGSHGDHDJCJ-

at least today my mom is going to make hamburgers and brigadeiro (very good chocolate basically) and I ate ice cream. Has to do with the fact I acting erratically, singing loud and screaming into my pillow? Possibly.

Uuuuuurrgh, sorry I guess I just venting here because of course, nobody is going to comment anything 🙃

Just to say you didn't read this for nothing, here to you:

Live Bell reaction:

"Bell, we got a job to do"

Adler my beloved. I would let you brainwash me any day.

its no longer labor day you cant reblog the todaybor day post anymore