Johnnytober 4: Dear Diary.

Johnnytober 4°: Dear Diary.

"Hello diary, day... I can't recall. It's been so long since I wrote one of these. I mean I have tried in this mean time but the pages kept going missing. Hope nobody saw what ever I was going through, ha. Well, things have gotten... Stale? I don't know if it's for the better or worse. At least time seem to be normal, instead of how days before passed in a blink of a eye. I can look at the trees and hear the birds sing, instead of before where my only company was the chamber of a gun. Violence. That's something I had not done recently. Only thing not repetitive. My drug, or prescription to a live of monotone color, is what I believed. I mean I am a death machine after all. Death wish like a emo kid and the courage of a American soldier. Maybe not the pride of neither, but oh well.

At least it's my birthday. I think. 24 years. Forget the other 200, nobody cares for them. Thinking of going original with soda and cake at some chuck and cheese, if they exist anymore. To be fair, if I actually went original I would go back to my land. To my beaches and trees nowhere else has. But it's the same violence and despair as everywhere. That's life, as Sinatra would say.

Uh, I hope this page doesn't go missing, planning on continuing tomorrow if the sun doesn't explode... Which I hopping it does.

With all but love, Jonathan."

I said it would be random as hell.

As an autistic person, the implications of "if they really cared I wouldn't have to say it" culture are really scary. Because I want to know what hurts your feelings, what crosses your boundaries, where the line between teasing and being mean is at for you, what you need, and how to make you feel loved. And the implication that if my disability makes me unable to figure out these things through intuition alone, then I'm just not worth having around, is genuinely heartbreaking

Have nothing better to do.

I mean I probably have but I not doing it-

new ask list post!!!! feel free to ask whatever

... Can you send me some, my country kinda banned Twitter-

People on twitter are weird, I don’t like them

“Trash you’re on twitter”

I said what I said!

Also I’m just there for the porn.

Johnnytober 4°: Dear Diary

"Diary: day... Whatever it is.

It's been a long time I must say, since I ever written anything in here. It wasn't useful per say. Thoughts became so jumbled over the years that I couldn't remember what year it was. Did it matter? Not really. Nothing matters I guess. Suppose 2 hundred years will make you look like that.

Speaking of it... Happy 24 birthday! Was I born today? Probably not, but I celebrating. Probably gonna go down and drinking soda, eat a cake maybe? Find someone without love for life and a itching finger in a gun to kill. I suppose it's better to do it when I on the clock but... I have enough money to pay a billionaire to kiss my shoes. I don't remember where most of money is, one would think the propose of hiding your money is to find it later but, oh well! That's life, like Sinatra would say, heard him sing live when he was... Well, alive. Young. Suppose I was young too. Young with a death wish. Still not specific enough.

Not even my name is specific. Jonathan. There's thousands of Jonathans in the world, thousands of lambs. The animal I mean. I probably as smart as one. Oh who can lie like that, I wish I was. Then I wouldn't be writing in this book to rest my sorrows.

Why don't they just die out? The indomitable human spirit as the internet people would say? It must be old this meme, I barely can understand the web, barely can understand people. I just wish... I don't know, amnesia? Not thinking of that again, thank luck. Isn't gonna work anyway. Head too thick.

Uh, that's all. I be back when the day is over and another comes... Again. When will the sun blow up?

With all but love, Jonathan."

I said this shit world be random, didn't I?