A Hematite Ring,

A hematite ring,

Something used for protection, security, clarity,

That breaks you from your own negativity,

Eventually snaps itself when it can't take it anymore,

It absorbs so much that it's only common sense for it to break down,

Just like you,

You, who bottles everything until there is not enough storage left,

Who takes from others without getting any release,

Who will eventually break down at the simplest of thoughts,

The simplest words,

You are a walking hematite ring,

Only made to absorb and eventually be destroyed,

There is no end.

Loneliness,

An indescribable feeling that no one can quite put their finger on,

In which no one knows it's there until it's already too late,

Suddenly you feel as though no one you've ever met will pick you a room full of people,

No one is here to help you pull together the remnants of whatever is left of your soul,

No one to text without feeling like a burden,

You feel as though you are pushing yourself further into the ground so that no one can find you,

But you want them to find you,

You want them to know you,

You want them to understand without you uttering a single word,

Until then, you will continue to peel away the layers of yourself until you are at your most vulnerable,

In the hopes that someone will attempt to reach you,

Out of pity.

I hate the number 99,

It reminds me of all the times I was just not good enough,

All the times I was never high enough,

I will never be enough,

I hate dolphins,

Despite all the horrible things they have done they never get to face the repercussions,

Because they are "cute",

Because "sharks will always be cruel",

I will always be cruel,

I hate second place,

The reminder that I could always be better

The reminder that all the hard work I put in was useless,

It doesn't matter,

I am useless,

Third place is a gift,

A reminder that your accomplishments got you this far and you can only go up,

First place is victory,

Everything you have done has finally payed off and given you this reward,

No one talks about second place,

No one talks about the inadequacy you feel when you get a ninety-nine percent,

"What happened to the other 1 percent?",

They ask,

As if I didn't work hard to get so close to perfect,

It was in my grasp and got taken away,

No one will talk about the opportunities you get when you don't look intimidating,

Dolphins will never be as "nice" or as "cute" or as "friendly" as we all think,

The humans of the water will always get a pass,

While sharks are rejected for existing,

Dolphins are a reminder that pretty privilege exists,

We are all just in a game with the ones who deem us worthy,

We will never be good enough,

We will never be worthy enough to live without the guilt of letting everyone down,

I want to feel good enough.

Rain,

Oh the sweet dusted rain,

How I long to see your face,

As my head fills with empty space,

So alone in this rain,

As the road fills with black and gray,

Reminded of the wonderful times we had,

Those happy thoughts now make me sad,

Rain, oh, rain, will I see you again?

I hope this time I can make amends,

Thunder and lighting

A tale as old as time

Star crossed lovers who are destined to never be with one another

Light will always move faster than sound

Once they meet a boom sounds the sky as they remind themselves of what they cannot have

All we see is lightning

Followed by thunder

The light travels across the sky running as it is scared of what can and will be

Thunder tries to catch up, but is slow and groggy on its feet

They are headed to the same place

But can never meet at the right time

Lightning, scared of the unknown

Blasting through the air to avoid it

Not realizing that by running from it you are living in your own unknown

Thunder lives alone

Too slow for anyone

Too scary for those who set their eyes upon it

Thunder is constantly struggling to keep up with the blaze that is lightning

And when it tries to make a name for itself it loses confidence at the sounds of the cries underneath it

It watches as lighting stumbles away too scared to stay for long

Thunder cries as it will never catch up to lightning

A loud boom erupts into the sky as lightning finally stops to meet thunder

Startled, yet curious at the interaction that occurred, lightning finally turns around to see thunder

It's amazed as it sees a beautiful figure smile wobbly as it thinks of what to do

Lightning runs at this newfound thought

"Could this be the unknown that I'm dreading"

It keeps running

Thunder let's out a large cry

Scared that lighting sees it how is sees itself, lonely and absurd

Lighting turns around, stunned "I think I'll like this new unknown"

A zap rings down its throat as it utters these words out loud

It smiles as it keeps running

Eager for thunder to follow

I look down at the river below,

As the world around me fails to glow,

My body quivers at the horrid thought,

As I remember what I once sought,

My mind feels empty within the storm,

Yet somehow it rages like a swarm,

I take my foot and step over the ledge,

I have no control and that I pledge,

Now the water that used to rush below,

Has my body within the riverflow.