Pilot

Pilot

Disclaimers: Someone calls Y/N some bad things including something fatphobic, Steve is a sloppy drunk and dealing with his own stuff, the gang is very awkward (let me know if there’s anything else) also this is 5286 words so be prepared for that

Robin lays on the couch, miserable and sobbing into her pillow as Portrait of a Lady on Fire plays on the flat-screen. This has been her everyday all day routine for the past three days.

“What have you done?” A horrified Steve asks a very remorseful Eddie. 

Robin’s phone rings as ‘Mom’ crosses the screen. She blows her nose before answering. “Hi, mom…. No I’m ok…. Really. I’m fine…. No, I’m not watching sad lesbian movies…. Uh, no. I don’t think so….” Nancy walks by, getting Robin’s attention. “Hey, are you gonna murder me ‘cause you’re a stranger I met on the internet?” She asks.

Nancy nods. “Yes I am,” she answers in all seriousness. 

“She says no.”

Nancy glares at Eddie as she enters the kitchen. “Idiot.”

“No. Look, I’ve gotta go, okay?… Alright, I love you…. Bye.” 

“We are in this situation because of you.” Nancy jabs her finger into Eddie’s chest.

Robin starts punching the couch and pillow. “I. hate. your. stupid. face. Casey. I love you!”

“Get us out of it,” she declares as she starts to make herself a sandwich.

“You know, besides the movie being played over a million times in the past three days, it’s really good.” Steve says in between bites of an apple. “I love the use of a slow pace because it’s used to emphasize how—”

“Y/N seems to be doing just fine.” Eddie cuts off Steve before he can go off.

Robin starts quoting the movie. “Forgive me. Your mother returns tomorrow. Ugh! They just want to be together!” Robin starts crying again. 

“Alright, alright.” Eddie rubs his hands over his face as he forms a plan. “Ok, I’ve got this.” He walks over to the couch and kneels next to Robin’s head. “Hey, Robin. I’m just gonna…” He turns the TV off. “There we go.” 

“Hey,” she weakly says in between sniffles, “this is a really good part.”

Steve gives Nancy a nod, a part of him wanting to finish the movie. 

“I know, but maybe we take a break from the gay masterpiece and talk a little.”

Robin sits up and nods, folding her legs under herself. “Okay.”

“How about you come out with all of us tonight? We’re going to a fancy club where you’ll be able to meet new people. Get yourself out there.”

Robin hesitates. “I don’t know.”

“You’re not gonna get over this if you don’t put yourself out there.” 

“I… I guess you make a good point.”

“For once,” Nancy mutters.

“Exactly!” Eddie jumps up on the couch. “You’re gonna get yourself all dolled up and decked out. And we’re gonna hit the town and find you a rebound.”

For the first time in three days Robin smiles. “Okay.” She nods. “Okay, yeah.”

“Fuck yeah!” Eddie cheers. “There we go.” 

Robin breaks out in a small song. “She’s going out to find a rebound. Nothin’s gonna stop that girl tonight!”

Nancy’s eyebrow raises. “Did… did she just make up a theme song for herself?” 

“I’m gonna fix this.” Eddie looks over to the others. “I’ll fix this.” He jumps off the couch and runs to his room. “Be ready by seven, girl!” 

Robin detaches herself from the couch and runs to her room to decide on what she’s going to wear. 

Meanwhile Y/N comes back from walking Yasmeen. As soon as she lets the dog off her leash they head to the kitchen for some water. “Hi, Yasmeen!” Steve swoons as he pets her. “Who’s a good girl? You are! Yes you are! Did you get a good walk?”

Nancy rolls her eyes at the display of affection.

“If you keep that up she’ll be sleeping in your room instead of mine,” Y/N says as she grabs a bottle of Gatorade out of the fridge.

“Aaaawww, do you wanna cuddle, baby?” Steve coos as Yasmeen licks his face. 

“She sniffed some other dogs’ butts on our walk, so you’re gonna want to be careful where you let her lick.” Y/N pets Yasmeen behind her ear getting her to pant. 

Steve immediately recoils as Nancy starts to laugh. “Oh, ew!” He runs to the sink and runs his face under water then gargles with it. 

“C’mon, girl.” Y/N smugly smiles as she walks to her room only to see Robin throwing clothes everywhere. “S’goin’ on, love?” Y/N clears some of the clothes off her bed to sit while Yasmeen lays next to her.

“I’m going out tonight.” Robin holds up different tops in front of the mirror not liking any of them. “Gonna try and forget about… well… you know.”

Y/N nods skeptically, folding her hands in her lap. “And whose idea was this?” 

“Eddie’s. He’s gonna try and get me a rebound.” Robin starts mixing and matching tops and bottoms. 

“Aaahhh, cool. Cool cool cool cool cool.” Y/N slowly backs out of the room, quietly closing it behind her as Robin tries to accessorize. She walks across the hall to Eddie’s room and pounds on his door. “Munson!”

He opens it to a very unhappy Y/N. “Hey, sweetheart,” he says, awkwardly leaning against the door. “What can I do you for— what can I do for you?” He quickly corrects himself. 

Y/N stomps into the middle of his room with her hands on her hips. “A rebound, Munson? Really?”

Confused, Eddie closes his door. “Uh, yeah. Ya know, a rebound to get her mind off of Cassy or whatever her name was.”

Y/N sucks her teeth, shaking her head and pacing around the room. “Ok, I get that it’s only been a few days and you don’t know Robin like I do, but she can’t do rebounds.”

“Can’t?”

“She’s too sensitive. She can’t casually sleep around. She just doesn’t have it in her. Not to mention that she’s a lesbian and they basically mate for life.”

“Like swans.” Eddie has a stupid grin on his face at his revelation.

Y/N hesitates for a moment. “Yeah. Like swans. Look, Robin’s gonna be crying before her rebound can even ask “your place or mine?”, and then she’ll be worse off. And are you really prepared to live with an even more compromised Robin?” 

“Well, how was I supposed to know that‽”

Y/N shakes her head and gets real up close and personal to Eddie. “Look, you’re gonna watch over her tonight. And if she gets hurt, I will rearrange your insides on the outside. Do you understand me?”

Eddie’s heart beats faster at Y/N’s close proximity. “Ok, one, you’re being very mean and that kind of turns me on. And dos, if you’re so worried about her, why don’t you come with us?”

Y/N rolls her eyes. “Because I have to work tonight.”

Now it’s Eddie’s turn to roll his eyes. “You’re always working, though! You can take some time off to have some fun with your grieving friend and new roommates!”

Y/N rubs her lips together. “Do you ever think that maybe work is how I distract myself?” She asks, averting her eyes to the ground.

‘Shit’. Now Eddie feels bad. “I… I’m sorry. I didn’t think—”

“Yeah, you didn’t.” Y/N smirks. “I’m fucking with you. Besides, you’ve only known me for four days. My next day off is tomorrow. I can’t help that you have bad timing.”

Eddie lets out a sigh of relief then chuckles. “That was really mean. I actually felt like a dick for a second.”

“Only a second?” Y/N’s smirk turns into a small smile.

Eddie laughs in response. “Okay, fine. I will watch over Robin and make sure that she has a good time. For you, princess.”

“And if she doesn’t?”

“You’ll kill me and dump my body in the Manhattan river. I’ve got it.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

A moment of silence goes by as the two take in their proximity. Neither makes a move to step back, waiting for the other first. Realizing that Y/N isn’t going to let up, Eddie takes a step back. “You smell really good, you know that?”

“Oh my god,” Y/N mutters as she exits his room.

Eddie smells the air around her, it smelling a lot better than the rest of his room. “Damn.”

Loud music pumps through the speakers as the group  takes a seat at their table. “Isn’t this place awesome‽” Steve yells over the music. “It took me three weeks to get us an in!”

“Why couldn’t we just go to the Stye?” Eddie groans as he looks over a very fancy drink menu.

“The Stye is a hell hole of drunkards and stains!” Steve scoffs. “Its name is literally a bacterial infection!”

Eddie is almost offended. “It’s practically home!”

Steve leans over the table so he doesn’t have to shout as loud. “Please, you just like it because there’s cheap beer and you can sell drugs there.”

“Hey, you think the record shop pays enough to pay the bills?”

Robin leans over the table. “Wait, you sell drugs?”

Eddie nods enthusiastically. “Sure do! Have been since high school.”

‘Ohhhhhh nooooooo’, Robin thinks to herself. ‘Not good’.  

“Why? You interested?”

Robin shakes her head. “Uh, no, no I’m good. But like—” she moves closer to Eddie so she can whisper— “like cocaine and ecstasy and stuff?”

Eddie nods. “Pretty much anything you need.”

“Cool, cool cool cool cool cool.” Robin nods along with her words. “Just maybe don’t tell Y/N. At least at first.”

Eddie, Steve, and Nancy share a look. 

“Does she, like…” Steve hesitates, “have a problem?”

Not wanting to overstep her boundaries Robin flips her head side to side as she thinks about what to say next. “Yes and no. She um… she should just get over this breakup before she knows she has easy access to heavy drugs.”

Not wanting to press further Eddie pushes the conversation in a different direction. “Honestly, Y/N doesn’t seem like she’s at all affected by the um… the breakup… situation.” He’s not exactly sure how to put it. “Were her and whats-his-face not that serious or something?”

“Y/N just doesn’t show her emotions on the outside.” Robin isn’t exactly sure how Y/N‘s feeling because she doesn’t ever talk about her feelings.

“That makes sense.” Nancy leans forward onto the table on her forearms. 

Robin’s eyes dart down to Nancy’s exposed forearms as the sleeves of her button up are rolled up. Suddenly realizing she’s staring, Robin quickly looks back up to Nancy’s face. “Yeah, Y/N’s more of the drink in silence type, ya know?”

“Hi there!” A waitress approaches their table. “What can I get you three?” 

“I’ll take a daiquiri.” Steve gives the waitress a dazzling smile that she ignores.

Nancy refrains from rolling her eyes as she raises her pointer finger. “Can I get a mojito, please?” 

“And can I get a rosé please?” Robin asks as politely as she can. 

The waitress finally turns to Eddie who feels out of place in such a fancy club. “Uh, I’ll have whatever beer’s cheapest.” Eddie shrugs, rubbing his knuckles under the table. “On tap,” he quickly adds. 

With a nod the waitress tells them, “I’ll have that right out.” She walks away as the four then continue to wait for more than half an hour for their drinks. 

“Beer does not take this fuckin’ long to pour.” Eddie groans, laying his head face down on the table. 

“What did I say?” Steve shifts to face everyone. “It’s a really popular place! We’ll probably get our orders soon though.” He’s not even sure if their orders will get to them tonight. 

Nancy glares at Steve. “How soon is soon?” 

He shrugs as he starts to look around. “Maybe we should get out on the dance floor and move around, ya know? Dance with some strangers, meet some people.”

“Who are you looking for?” Robin tries to look in the same direction but doesn’t see anybody looking back at the table. 

Steve’s body stiffens as he becomes defensive. “No one.” He averts his eyes to the table then his phone as if there’s something very interesting on it. 

Robin leans close to Eddie. “Did I say something?”

Eddie shakes his head. “No. His name is Billy. Him and Steve have known each other since high school, and it’s been messy ever since.”

“Oh.” Robin thinks for a moment. “I didn’t know that Steve was…”

“Bi. Yeah.” Eddie nods, looking around at the dance floor at the various attractive people dancing as he’s completely bored out of his mind. “But, I mean, we’re all a little gay.”

“Oh!” Robin says pleasantly surprised. “So you’re also…”

“Pan and gender-fluid. Yeah!” 

“Oh, awesome! And Nancy she’s uh…?”

Eddie guffaws. “Yeah, no. She’s straight…. Maybe.” He squints as he leans into Robin. “I’ve had my suspicions for years though.”

Robin nods, sparing a glance at Nancy. They make eye contact and Nancy gives her a small nod and smile making Robin quickly look away. “Ah.” Is all she can muster up.

A small smile graces Eddie’s lips. “Yeah, she’s got some pretty gay forearms, ya know?”

Now a blush creeps onto Robin’s face. “Yeah.”

Eddie purses his lips before he nudges Robin playfully. 

“Sup, losers.” Y/N appears at their table dressed in a very revealing outfit. Everyone stares, not knowing where exactly to put their eyes. “Scoot over.” 

They all snap out of their trance quickly shuffling over so she can sit. “You uH—” Eddie clears his throat. “You made it.”

She nods, adjusting herself in the booth. “Yeah, well, I don’t exactly trust you all with my baby, so I thought I’d leave work early and join.”

Before anyone can say anything a new waiter appears with everyone’s drinks and a couple plates of appetizers. “Hi, everyone! So sorry about the wait.” He starts putting down their orders. “We’ve got some complimentary sliders, garlic fries, and shrimp cocktail. Again, so sorry about the wait, this first round and the appetizers are on us. Is there anything else I can get you all?”

Y/N’s eyebrow quirks up. “How long were you guys waiting?” 

The look on the waiter’s face makes a cause for lies all around the table. “Oh not that long.” “Just a few minutes.” “Only a little bit.” “A couple of minutes.”

Not wanting to push further Y/N nods and lets it go. “Thank you, Gabriel.” She gives him a sweet smile. “And can we get a banana split sundae with four cherries, please? Two on the bottom, no stems, and two on the top with stems?”

Gabriel nods quickly, trying to remember everything as if his job depends on it. And it does. “Yes, of course. We’ll have that right out.”

“And, is Jay back yet?”

This time Gabriel shakes his head. “No, not yet, but I will let you know when he is.” With another nod, he rushes off towards the kitchen.

Nancy is the first to speak up. “What the fuck was that?”

Y/N simply shrugs. “I know the owner.”

“You know Jay Wickham‽” Steve almost screams at the thought.

“Oh!” Robin connects the dots. “‘Jay’ Jay?”

Y/N chuckles, smiling to herself. “Yes, Rob. ‘Jay’ Jay?”

“Wait, who’s Jay?” Eddie’s words come out quickly. Maybe a little too quickly. It gets very curious looks from everyone. “I just… I was just wondering,” he mutters, beginning a small chug of his drink which he blames for the color rising to his face. 

“He’s one of my sugar daddies,” Y/N casually answers.

Steve and Eddie choke on their drinks while Nancy’s jaw almost drops to the floor. 

“Oh, like— you— you….” Not knowing how to finish his sentence, Steve starts drinking.

Y/N’s posture straightens, quickly getting defensive. “Y’all got a problem with sex work?”

A resounding “no” in different forms comes from everyone. 

She loosens up a bit at everyone’s genuinity. “Good.” 

“Well—” Robin raises her glass— “ pink wine makes me slutty. Cheers.” 

Despite the out of place declaration everyone cheers to that. “Woo!”

“And cheers to not getting black out drunk tonight and hooking up with toxic booty calls!” Nancy points a look directly at Steve who avoids eye contact. 

“WOO!” Everyone except for Steve cheers this time. 

Forty five minutes in, everyone is varying levels of tipsy and Steve is gone. Not only is he drunk off his ass he’s also grinding on someone else’s. No one is quite sure how Steve got up on stage, but he’s there now and he’s not coming down. 

“I didn’t know Steve was so flexible!” Y/N laughs as she watches Steve’s attempts at pole dancing. 

“He’s not.” Eddie leans into Y/N’s side. “He can just put his legs over his head cause he’s a whore.”

Y/N laughs even louder. So much so that people look at her funny. “That’s the funniest shit I’ve heard all week.” Y/N doesn’t know if it really is the funniest thing she’s heard all week or if the shots are finally getting to her. 

Eddie’s not sure if it’s the alcohol or the low lighting but he moves even closer to Y/N’s warmth like a moth to a flame. “Now you’re just humoring me.”

It’s way too hot in the club for Y/N even with the little amount of clothes she’s wearing. She can practically feel her makeup melting off at this point. And even though Eddie’s wearing a leather jacket, and his face is red from the alcohol, he’s still leaning so close that Y/N almost has to put him on her lap. 

Against her better judgment and under the guise of alcohol, Y/N makes a not so smart decision. “What if I am?” Her voice deepens and her chest presses into him. 

Normally, guys like Eddie would further the flirtation. Maybe lean into Y/N’s neck or put a hand on her thigh. Instead, Eddie flushes redder than Y/N’s lipstick and recoils. “Uh— I uh— well that’s actually really—” he clears his throat— “really… nice of you?”

Surprised and not knowing where to go from here, Y/N is thankful when Robin walks up to the table. “Y/N, our song is playing! Let’s go!” Robin pulls Y/N onto the dance floor and away from Eddie as ‘Mercy’ by Kanye West plays. This is not Y/N and Robin’s usual ‘Everywhere I go’ or even ‘Goodies’.

“What’s up?” Y/N sways her body to the song, trying to get a reluctant Robin to dance with her.

“What’s up? What was my number one rule about moving into the loft?”

Y/N sighs and rolls her eyes. “Don’t sleep with anyone. Got it.”

“Besides, Eddie seems really nice and you’d eat him alive.”

Knowing that Robin is probably right, Y/N shrugs and nods. “Fair enough.” Y/N grabs Robin and pulls her deeper onto the dance floor. “Ok, no more trying to get laid or flirting. We are going to dance!” She gives Robin a spin and the two start dancing. “Dance!”

Well, Y/N is dancing, and Robin is… well, she’s doing Robin.

The night comes to a forceful end when Steve gets so drunk that he can barely stand. 

“It’s only been fifteen minutes,” Robin says, astounded. 

“Goddammit.” Nancy sighs. “Eddie.” She gestures for him to get Steve but Y/N steps in. 

“I’ve got this.” Y/N walks over to where Steve is hanging off the guy he’s been feeling up for the past half an hour. “Hey, Stevie, it’s time to go.”

“Woah woah woah—” the guy gets in between Y/N and Steve— “where do you think you’re goin’?”

Y/N steps up to the guy who’s got almost a foot on her. “Excuse me, asshole?”

Eddie, Nancy, and Robin quickly run up to the scene. “Hey, what’s goin’ on here?” Robin quickly tries to diffuse the situation, knowing where this is going. 

“This bitch here is trying to ruin our fun.” 

“Excuse me‽ Bitch‽ No, I’m gonna fuck this cunt up.” Y/N starts taking her earrings off as Robin vehemently shakes her head. 

Eddie gets in front of her. “Hey, look,” he tries to reason with the guy. “Our friend here—” he gestures to Steve— “is not exactly in a position to give consent anyways. So, we’re just gonna get him home and you can enjoy the rest of your night.”

“Yeah, well, I was already enjoying my night before you all showed up. So, we’re gonna continue here and you all—” the guy steps up to Eddie and gives him a push with each word— “can fuck off.” 

“Look, man—”

“Bro, do you wanna fucking go right now?”

Y/N can’t help but roll her eyes. “Hey, asshole—”

“I’ve got this, Y/N.” Eddie quickly intervenes making Y/N even angrier. “Let’s not make a scene in this nice club, alright?”

“Hey,” Steve speaks up, “I’m— I’m good g—” hiccup— “guys.”

“See—” the guy gets chest to chest with Eddie— “your boy’s good.”

Robin shakes her head. “He really isn’t.” 

Everyone looks at her, making her shrink back.

“Can we just drop this?” Nancy gets behind Eddie. “How ‘bout we get you a beer and call it good, alright?”

“Get your bitches in line, man.” The guy shoves Eddie into Nancy making the two stumble.

“That’s it.” Y/N steps in front of the two and shoves the guy back. “Fuck off, dickless! We’re taking Steve and if you’ve got a problem with that then we’re gonna have a problem, got it?”

The guy gives a cocky smile and nods. “Sure, Miss Piggy. Step back before you hurt yourself.”

“Woah!” Everyone goes to back Y/N up but she holds her hand up stopping them.

“If you wanna go we can fuckin’ go. I will rock your shit, bitch!”

“Bring it, bitch!” The guy shoves her hard enough to make her step back.

Eddie goes to step in but Y/N’s fist collides with the guy’s face before he can do anything. Much to everyone’s surprise the guy goes down. The club’s patrons now turn to the scene. “Y/N!” Robin scolds her, holding her back before she can do anymore damage. 

“Holy shit!” Eddie holds his fist over his mouth. “How did you—”

“We’re going home!” Y/N goes for a jaw-dropped Steve and easily throws him over her shoulder.

“Ooh!” Steve giggles uncontrollably. “Strong man!”

“We got a problem here?” One of the bouncers walks up to the group.

Y/N shakes her head. “Nah, we’re good, Dennis.”

The man realizes who she is and nods. “Sounds good, Y/N.”

Nancy and Eddie look at Y/N with complete shock and awe. 

“Let’s go.” Y/N makes towards the exit as the others follow.

Once they’re outside Eddie starts bouncing around excitedly. “Oh, that was so awesome! He was like “bitch!” and you were like “cunt!” and then you just fuckin popped him in the face! Holy shit, that was amazing!”

Nancy nods in agreement. “That was really cool, not gonna lie.” 

Robin only shakes her head, not as enthused as the others. “You didn’t need to escalate that, Y/N.”

“I did what needed done.” Y/N whistles for a taxi and gets Steve inside. 

“You were like Batman back there.”

Y/N can’t help but guffaw. “Batman wouldn’t have stooped to punching some random asshole. I’m more like Marc Spector. A little insane and very much willing to punch dickholes in the face.”

The entire ride home is filled with Eddie praising Y/N and Steve agreeing and giggling like a little school girl on Y/N’s lap.

Once they’re all in the loft Y/N tucks Steve into bed after making him take some ibuprofen. “We’ll get you some coffee and toast in the morning, okay, bub?”

Steve nods and burrows into his bed. “Thanks, mom.”

Y/N smiles and kisses his forehead. “No problem, babe.”

“Wait, did he— did he ever text me back?” Steve goes for his phone, but not before Y/N can take it from him. “NOooOo.”

“Yeah, no more mistakes tonight. You can get this back in the morning when you’re sober.”

“But—”

“Uh uh, babygirl. No phone. Sleep.” She puts her hands on her hips to assert herself.

Too drunk and not having the strength or brain capacity to argue at this moment he gives up.

“Good boy.” Y/N pats his head making him smile. She makes sure he’s all comfortable then quietly exits. “The baby’s asleep!” She announces, throwing her hands up in victory.

“Woo.” Nancy and Eddie tiredly cheer.

Robin stays silent, her and Y/N making eye contact for a moment, then she storms off to their room. Y/N lets out a long tired sigh while cracking her back. “Yup. Gonna be paying for that one.”

“What’s wrong with her?” Nancy stares down their door. 

“Eh.” Y/N shrugs. “I’ve got some anger issue stuff.”

Eddie leans forward onto his forearms, “That’s it?” 

“Weeeell, there used to be cops involved, and mandatory community service and AA, and some EA bullshit— anyways it was a whole thing, but that’s in the past now.”

Eddie and Nancy look at each other with much confusion and some worry. “Well, I’ll be sleeping on the couch tonight.” Y/N plops down on the couch.

“Nonsense.” Eddie shakes his head and stands up. “A lady deserves a bed. Especially if that lady is as badass as you are.” He gives her a deep bow.

Y/N’s face feels hot, but she shakes her head of the flusters. “I’m not gonna take your bed, Eddie.”

Nancy sees the beginning of an argument she doesn’t need to be here for.

He shakes his head not taking ‘no’ for an answer. “C’mon, princess, let’s get you up and into bed.” He goes to reach for her but she shakes her head. 

“If I’m gonna sleep in your bed you are too.” 

Nancy refrains from retiring and immediately sits back down suddenly interested. 

Eddie’s face goes red again. “Oh— uh— like— like both of us in the same… bed?”

Y/N slowly nods, not sure why he’s being so skittish. “I’m not gonna do anything untoward if that’s what you’re worried about.” 

Not liking where this is going Eddie quickly shakes his head. “No, no no no no. I’m just— I’ve just— I’m completely fine with it. I just wanna make sure you’re fine with it.”

Y/N exchanges a glance with Nancy. “Nance, you gotta queen dontcha?”

Before Nancy can reply Eddie cuts in. “No, it’s fine!” He says all too quickly. “I’ll go make up the bed and everything— it’ll be all good.” 

“Well.” Y/N stands up. “I’m gonna take a shower.” She heads off to the bathroom.

“Yeah!” Eddie yells after her. “You go take a shower, get all relaxed—” Nancy gives him a weirded out look— “You do you, girl!” He brings his voice down to a shouting whisper. “I don’t know what I’m saying anymore! The words just won’t stop coming out of my mouth!” He goes on to yell more at Y/N. “Get it nice and steamy, girl!”

Nancy throws a pillow at him to shut him up.

He barely catches it. “Thank you.”

Nancy nods. 

“Shit! My room’s a shit sty! Where’s the Febreze?”

“Where it always is.” Nancy points to under the sink.

Eddie throws the pillow back on the couch and runs to the kitchen to rummage for the Febreze. 

After Y/N’s shower she grabs her robe and gets “ready”. Quick shave, body butter, then perfume. Yes, she’s technically betraying her and Robin’s agreement but Eddie’s really cute, and he wouldn’t take this too seriously. Right?

She knocks on Eddie’s door only to be interrupted mid knock as he quickly opens the door. “Hiii—” Eddie’s voice trails off as he sees the girl in only her bathrobe. “Hi.” The second ‘hi’ is much more quiet.

Y/N gives a little wave. “Hi. By the way, do you by any chance have a double XL shirt and some boxer shorts or something I could fit into?”

Eddie stares for almost too long before he answers. “Uh, yeah, yeah. I’ve got— I’ve got some— some clothes.” He clears his throat, looking up then down, then back at Y/N’s legs. 

Y/N gives him a moment to stop staring, and when he doesn’t she speaks up. “Can I come in?” 

“Oh yeah!” He steps aside. “Yeah, come on in. I’ll get you those clothes.”

Y/N nods stepping inside. There’s an overwhelming smell of Febreze and even some incense has been lit. These are all good signs until Y/N gets to his bed. Oh. “I see you’ve built up a barricade.” She points to the lump in the middle of the bed that will keep them separated the entire night.

“Oh, yeah. I just… I thought to do that, ya know?” Eddie wanted to make sure that Y/N would be as comfortable as possible. 

Y/N nods, almost a little insulted that Eddie would need a physical barrier to keep her from invading his space. “Ya, thanks.” 

Eddie hands her an old Metallica shirt. “Here.”

It looks big enough for Y/N. “Yeah, thanks. And the boxers?”

“Oh yeah.” Eddie nods and looks through his drawers. “Cause ya need pants to sleep in, right?”

“Well, I need some underwear.”

Eddie freezes up at the mention of Y/N not currently wearing anything under her robe. Of course she wouldn’t be because she just got out of the shower. The shower where she had to get naked to get into. Then she would get all wet, and she’s all naked and— “Uh.. yeah… yeah… that’s… uh huh.”

Y/N’s toes dig into the carpet as she starts to get the feeling that maybe she’s making him uncomfortable. 

‘Don’t think about her naked… and certainly don’t think about her naked and wet,’ Eddie thinks to himself. ‘You’re just gonna make her feel uncomfortable. And things are already tense. Why are things already tense? Why are you being so weird about this, Eddie‽’ “Found some.” He hands her some boxer briefs. 

They’re a much larger size than Y/N would’ve thought that Eddie would ever own. “Woah, where’d these come from?” 

Eddie shrugs. “Uh, well, I got them from Spencer’s and they were too big.”

“So, why didn’t you just return them?”

He shrugs again. “I uh… it’s just like uh a hassle and an entire process that you have to go through. And I don’t want to put retail workers through that, so I don’t… I just… I just keep the stuff.”

Y/N nods slowly, unconvinced. “Ok, yeah.” 

The two stand in a tense and awkward silence before Y/N looks around the room. “So, uh, do you wanna watch or…?”

“Oh, right!” Eddie turns around and covers his eyes. 

‘Wow, he even needs to cover his eyes’. Y/N shakes her head as she disrobes and changes. “You’re good,” she says flatly once she’s done. She gets into his bed, the overwhelming smell of Febreze only getting worse under the covers.

“Yah, ok.” Eddie can feel the tension only worsen like she’s somehow mad at him. He’s mostly hoping that he got rid of the fart smell and crumbs in his sheets. ‘I really should wash my sheets more often’. He gets under his sheets, thinking that maybe he might’ve used too much spray. 

The two are back to back as they fall asleep, both their thoughts spiraling throughout the night. 

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this post and the comments >>> 😻

not that i believe he would cheat but i’m just not the one

but fr i’m :

- torching your van

- stealing your guitar

- fucking jason 🫤

- and just to be petty i’m anonymously calling hawkins pd like “heyyyy i heard that eddie munson’s been selling ecstasy, weed , heroine, special k 🫣 to like half of hawkins high y’all should go check that out ”

This is to my Eddie Munson fanfics writers who write when Eddie cheats on the reader with some bitch I love y’all don’t get me wrong. But for once I want the reader to just lose her shit and beat the fuck out of Eddie and the side bitch give them a good ole 4 for 4 combo

Also I would have ruined his life and the side bitches life too after giving them an ass whopping of their lives. Because you know Eddie wouldn’t go around telling people how he actually got beat up

Ex: I would have told all the teachers anonymously that he cheated on all his test so he’s have to get held back another year. I’d also tell uncle Wayne what he did, then I’d tell the rest of hellfire what he did especially Dustin. I’d then spread a rumor that him and his side bitch have an STD. I’d also spread a rumor that his side bitch is a drug addict bitch who’s only using him for drugs, then I’d anonymously send a tip to the cops that Eddie Munson is dealing drugs to underage kids. I would have also fucked Steve and every person who bullied them then taken pictures and spread it around his room.

“never go to santa carla”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

sneak peek of my stranger things x the lost boys x my babysitter’s a vampire! au wip

synopsis : when reader comes back from her trip to santa carla, she’s acting off. she’s moody, constantly brushing off the group, hanging around shady looking people, and she looks terrible! (no she doesn’t 😽)

i’ve decided to make this reader the same as the “we’re going to summer camp bitches!” one ☺️

so you know what that means 😻😻😻

eddie x fem!reader , kind of david x fem! reader too 🫤 , (reader is canonically hot and everyone loves her i don’t make the rules 🙇🏾‍♀️)

future warnings : swearing , suggestive language , cursing , blood and gore , heavy flirting , the lost boys in general because yeah, david (is his own warning yes) , scary y/n , michael emerson and david being down bad (for two different people btw) , reader being hot , steve being hot , robin being hot , eddie being hot, nancy being hot , the lost boys being hot 🫤, look everyone’s just hot okay? and i can’t think of anymore rn 🤨

the whole sleeping during the day and coming out at night thing doesn’t exist here.

my sneak peek for “like a virgin” will be out soon too !

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

hawkins, indiana | sunday, october 5, 1986 | 6:47 a.m.

you all stayed up the entire night watching movies, playing games and talking about what they did while you were gone, and how your trip was, although the last one wasn’t for too long as you insisted that you’ll tell them all about it later on.

the last person of the group fell asleep at about 2, which is when your house was finally consumed with silence. everyone was asleep peacefully, nancy stretched out on the love seat with jonathan on the floor next to it, argyle also on the floor, but he was layed out in front of the couch that dustin , mike , and will were all squeezed together on. erica, eleven, and max had went up to your room ages ago to go to sleep. you, robin , and lucas were all huddled on another couch together, where you were all previously playing a card game before falling asleep, while steve and eddie fell asleep on another couch.

now nancy was having a great sleep, a really great one, so to be woken up by robin shaking her so aggressively, that she thought her head would fall off of her neck, didn’t sit right with her.

“would you stop shaking me?!” nancy whisper-shouted.

“i’ll stop shaking you when you wake up! y/n’s arguing with someone outside. come listen.” robin whisper-shouted back at her.

“what?” nancy asked, as robin dragged her off of the love-seat, out of the living room, and brought her to the front door, where steve and eddie, were already huddled, with their ears against it.

“what are you guys-“ she was cut off by steve sharply shushing her, and pressing his ear back to the door.

“just listen, it’s so weird.” robin said, pressing hers to the door again.

nancy huddled over the three, and pressed her ear to the door as well, and lo and behold, you were heatedly talking to someone, but they couldn’t tell who.

“it sounds like a guy out there.” nancy whispered, furrowing her eyebrows. “maybe her brother’s back again?”

“nah we don’t think so, he sounds different, plus they would have started fighting already.” robin said flippantly.

“yeah, and boyfriend of the year over here, doesn’t want to go out there.” steve looked towards eddie.

“it sounds interesting! plus if we go out there they’ll stop.” eddie defended.

“isn’t that the point?” robin asked.

“i want to hear the drama- shh! they’re starting again.”

they all pressed even closer to the door, trying to decipher what you were saying, but only being able to make out some parts of it.

“-merson, i swear to god, why-…and how did you get here?!”

“are the rest of them here too?

“jeez! i thought we were friends y/n/n why the last na-“

suddenly a harsh thump against the door made the eavesdroppers jump back.

meanwhile outside the door -

“do not play with me right now michael, this isn’t funny.” you seethed, after grabbing him by the jacket and holding him against the door you just slammed him against.

back in the house -

“ ‘michael’ ? is she talking to mike?” eddie whispered, as they all looked at each other confusedly before a voice cut chimed in.

“is who talking to me?” mike said, from behind them, causing them all to jump at the intrusion. “what’s going on?” he whispered, eating some cereal, he stole from your kitchen.

“shhh!” they all hissed at him, before gluing themselves back to the door, with a now curious mike joining them.

meanwhile outside-

“i’m not joking!” the curly-haired man said defensively putting his hands up. “we’re not here to piss you off, we’re here to help you!”

“help me?” you scoffed, letting him go, before fake smiling. “i think i’ve gotten all the “help” i can from those guys! i mean what with giving me these-“ you said sarcastically, pointing at your newly sharper canines and nails before retracting them.

“wow, you’ve got a much better handle on those than i did at first. i’m proud..” he said impressed.

“i’m forever grateful.” you said sarcastically.

“it’s the whole feeding thing, you see. david said he doesn’t want you drinking off of randoms for your first time.” he explained meekly, as you just glared at him.

“listen i didn’t know they were gonna do that, okay?” he defended himself. “but i mean you didn’t even give ‘em a chance to do their whole little “show you the ropes” spiel before you took off! i’ve never seen anyone pack up and leave a state so quickly. which i’m honestly impressed by, if we’re being serious.” he added on incredulously, walking away from the door, and pacing back and forth on your porch.

He was right though. that night before you were supposed to be going back to hawkins, the group invited you to hang out at their “spot” in this cool cave they seemed to have claimed. you were all having a great time, waiting for michael to come back with the food, when one of your new friends, david, offered you some vintage-ish wine in this cool looking antique bottle he had.

You (unknowingly at the time) drank what was actually blood, causing them to have some sort of field day for some reason. once you saw what they really were though , before they had the chance to explain, once they were distracted, you booked it right out of there, back to your grandparents’ new house, telling your grandmother that you had to leave a night early for some “emergency” happening back in hawkins.

when the boys went over there the next morning asking for you, she told them that you had already began making your way back home, right after getting back the night before. unfortunately, david, (ever the charmer) was able to find out what “home” you were going back to, before deciding that the group was going to take a little road trip down to this “hawkins”.

“i mean who does that? when they did it to me, i at least stuck around for instructions or something! you just up and left!” he exclaimed, throwing his hands up.

you shushed him harshly, before speaking. “keep your voice down! and people that aren’t psychopaths do that, michael!” you paused, trying to calm yourself down.

“you do not. understand the bullshit i have went through in the past couple years. i have to constantly be prepared and ready for anything. and this!” you gestured to the new additions to yourself. “is a bit of a distraction.”

“listen, like i said earlier, i’m sorry that they did this, okay! but i know exactly what you’re going through! hence why we came here.” he pleaded, putting his hands on your shoulders.

“i mean you saw how they acted back in santa carla, they were animals! you had somewhat of a reign on him though.” he explained, putting a slight emphasis on the word “him”.

“it’s the whole feeding thing, you see. david doesn’t want you drinking off of some random for your first time.” he quietly explained as you glared at him.

“i think i have enough books and vampire knowledge, to learn how to survive, if he thinks feeding’s the issue. so you can tell them that i’m fine and leave.” you sighed, brushing him off, before pausing and looking at him, suspiciously, noticing his tense stance.

“even though i’ve only known you for about a week, i can tell that you’re a good person, and i don’t want you to suffer okay?” he said sympathetically.

“you’re not telling me everything are you?” you asked, eerily calmly.

“i- i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“oh yeah? i’m just curious, you all came here together right?” you said realizing something.

“yeah so?…” he said meekly.

“so where are the others?” you asked, now afraid of his answer.

“oh, you know… just hanging out…” he said.

“hanging out where?” you said sternly.

“well..” he said before whispering something you couldn’t really understand.

“well what, michael? spill it!” you pleaded.

“well, when we first got here yesterday, david was still pissed about you just up and leaving without saying anything to him, and decided he didn’t want to see you yet so he went to go look around town! and well you know how the rest of them are! it’s always ‘monkey-see, monkey-do’ with ‘em! so after he left, paul decided that he wanted to go see how “hawkins girls” party so he split too.” putting air quotes around hawkins girls. “and then marko, dwayne, and i decided to look for you, but marko got side tracked and dipped off later on to find paul. and i accidentally lost dwayne at some point last night.“ he rambled before whispering to himself, “or maybe he just ditched me.”

“so, how did you find me?” you asked, trying to take in all of that information.

“oh, i just recognized your car in the driveway.” he said flippantly.

“why is it every time you’ve brought up the group, you always zero in on david?” you asked, out of nowhere.

“what do you mean?” he asked, acting like he wasn’t aware of it.

“‘david’s mad because i left without talking to him.’ not the group, him. ‘i had somewhat of a reign on him.’ ‘david, doesn’t want me feeding off of random’s.’ what’s that all about?” you asked crossing your arms.

“i don’t know okay! he’s just been acting so weird. ever since we met you, he’s been off the rails in a way that the other four don’t even recognize.and they’ve known him forever! he wasn’t even like this with star!” he said, incredulously.

“oh so, what? i hurt little david’s feelings and now he wants to be all possesive as if i fucked up his life!?

“look i know it’s bullshit okay? i mean it’s been almost a year since they did the same shit to me, and i still don’t completely get it.” he exclaimed, causing you to soften up a bit.

“alright. i guess i’m done yelling at you for now.” you said nonchalantly, walking back towards your door.

“wait, that’s it? what do we do now?” he asked, following you.

“i’m going back to sleep. we can look for the others later.” you explained tiredly.

“yeah, that’s definitely a side effect. how did you even make it all the way back here without conking out?”

“adrenaline, i guess. come on in, since i know you vamps are big on that shit.” you sighed sarcastically, opening the door.

well, trying to open the door, being that there was some kind of weight pressed against it. you heard a thud and a sharp “ouch” and a “retreat, she’s coming back!” before you were able to open it without issue.

you and michael were met with the faces of all 13 of your now awake friends, sitting in the foyer of your house, staring at you with wide eyes.

“so…” robin started, clearing her throat.

“do you have something to tell us y/n?” nancy, said cautiously, as everyone looked at you expectantly.

“what’s there for her to tell, she’s definitely a vamp! him too from what i’ve gathered.” argyle, chimed in nonchalantly, taking some of the cereal that mike was eating.

“never go to santa carla kiddos.” you sighed, walking passed them all and plopping down onto the couch closest to the door, and immediately falling asleep.

missing my guy adrian chase rn 🫤🫤🫤

we’re going to summer camp bitches!

a/n: not a new chapter unfortunately 😭 but i found that when i have writer’s block, if i write other little things something will come to me

so this is y/n’s involvement throughout the seasons to get to know her relationships and her personality ☺️

pre-series :

- you were friends with steve since you were 4 and he was 5

- your parents were good friends with his, hence why you two grew up together and why you’re in a lot of each other’s family pictures

- your parents along with his were away often, albeit not as neglectful as his are

- your father is a tour coordinator while your mother is a rock promoter so they constantly leave

- started babysitting the boys when you were 11 and they were 7

- your mom played bridge with dustin’s and was in the same book club as mrs. wheeler, and her and joyce knew each other prior as well.

- from there they referred you to the other moms

season 1 :

- you were the boys’ babysitter (obv)

- you protect them with your life honestly

- played dnd with them constantly

- you have no favorites (it’s will tbh 🫤 he’s the least difficult)

- was very upset when will went missing

- helped the boys look for him, and was with them when they found el.

- best friends with steve, but wasn’t really hanging around him when he was in his “king steve” era (because he was a prick 😭 and you didn’t like that)

- tore him a new one when you found out what his “friends” did to/ said about nancy and how he just allowed it

- were with the kids at the school, while everyone else was getting will.

- heartbroken when you thought that el died.

- shocked when you found out steve was involved

- you started hanging out with steve again

(not much for season 1 honestly)

season 2 :

- were with will 100000x more than before

- the boys told you about the new girl “mad” max mayfield

- but you already knew her since you worked at the arcade

(yeah you come from money, but you liked making your own)

- which meant you knew about billy hargrove

- and boy did you dislike him

- tried to get at you a few times , but was quickly shut down

- were going to go trick or treating with the boys, but they insisted that they go alone so you and jonathan went tina’s party where steve and nancy were, instead.

- not wanting to be apart of the dick measuring competition between steve and billy, you found your classmate eddie munson and just hung around with him for majority of the party.

- and by hung around i mean you basically just made out and shotgunned with him the entire time

- imagine seeing alf without his head and a sexy indiana jones making out at a party 🫤( sounds like a dream i would have tbh)

- was confused when you saw nancy leave the party with jonathan, but were quickly filled in by a heartbroken steve, who was ready to just go home.

- so you said your goodbyes to eddie and left with steve

- tried to give him comforting advice as he drove you two home, (being that you literally live next door to each other) but him being too deep in his thoughts so you just went back to your house.

- cue you walking into your room, only to hear dustin’s screeching “code red” and for you to come over as quickly as possible

- you drove over, thinking someone was dying, but when dustin opened the door, dragging you to his room, as you yelled out a quick hello to claudia, you realized it wasn’t that serious.

“dustin what’s up its like 10 pm and we have school tomorrow.”

“this won’t take long, but i need to show you this.”

- you weren’t as impressed as he thought you’d be.

“why doesn’t it have eyes!” you nearly screamed, as you jumped away from it.

“i don’t know, but his name is dartangan. short for dart!

“okay! well… i’m going back home now! don’tget eaten by that thing please!”

- things escalated heavily from there tbh

- next thing you know, you’re at the hospital with will, mike, joyce, hopper, and bob.

- however you left before things could go to shit to give the others an update on will’s well-being.

- so imagine your surprise when you found your best friend steve, driving around with dustin, lucas, and max.

- you were proud of him and made fun of hum for taking your spot as babysitter

- sad when bob died, he was a good guy

- shocked that el was alive, but happy nonetheless.

- you know your way around a gun pretty well so you went with hopper and el back to the lab, so el could close the gate.

- not before demanding that the kids not give steve a hard time and telling steve to keep protecting them with his life

- when you finally got back to them after it was over, they told you everything that happened and you were not happy in the slightest

- next time you saw billy at school, you made it hell for him

- burnt cigarette butts on the hood of his car

- parked next to him and purposely slammed your door into his

- pretty much just hurting his car really

- volunteered at the snoball dance with nancy

- took pictures of all the cute little moments with everyone (just like sev because those deserved to be documented 🥹)

season 3 :

- once starcourt opened you worked at the scoops ahoy with steve and robin

- you already knew robin from school and honestly loved her

- steve didn’t understand why

- liked to sit on the sidelines as robin and steve had their back and forths, but did join in at times causing steve to call you a traitor

- he was just mad because you made the scoops uniform look good

- the few times the hellfire club came in (pre- dustin, lucas, and mike of course) you always insisted that you’d be the one to serve them.

- cue you bringing the ice cream to their table.

- robin : “i think she’s really got it bad for munson.”

- steve : “no way, i know her and she’d never go for- her shorts weren’t that short a second ago right????

- moving on ☺️ (mind your business steve..)

- were apart of the scoops troop

- you did not want erica involved, but majority rules 🫤

- the boys came running to you after mike lied to el.

- “you need how much??? for a fucking bear?? you’re on your own.”

- you slipped a few dollars to will, but they didn’t need to know that.

- when robin and steve were caught by the russians, you freaked out

- was pissed when you found them drugged and beaten

- when everyone met back up at starcourt, you stayed there as steve, dustin, robin, and erica went to dustin’s cerebro

- was shocked when you heard all the people who were flayed and even more so when billy sacrificed himself

- after starcourt burned down, you comforted el and max.

- was sad that the byers + el were moving but understood

- visited them throughout the year

- argyle 🤝 you

pre-season 4 :

- the kids are in highschool now !

- you, robin, and nancy are in your senior year

- you were in the same social circle as steve was, just without the douchiness

- you were a social floater pretty much

- so now the boys are in hellfire club!

- so you came over and decided to be embarrassing

- “aww i knew you guys would find something!”

- just hugging them, messing with mike’s hair, and pinching their cheeks as they tell you to leave them alone

- you leave after telling eddie to take care of them

- now he’s curious though

“there’s no way you just got publically doted on by y/n y/l/n. how do you even know her??”

“she’s our babysitter!” - dustin

“ex-babysitter! she’s our friend.” mike corrected

“ehh she’s still pretty much our babysitter man.” lucas mumbled to mike.

- except one day they decided to be nosey

- because one night after hellfire you were there to pick them up.

- but as they got into the car, you got out and started talking to eddie

- they didn’t think anything of it until you two started getting flirty.

- i’m talking : you two animatedly conversating, eddie’s hands somehow sneaking around your waist, and you two whispering and giggling at each other.

- the icing on the cake was when you just casually kissed him goodbye like????

- so now they have to ask

- “eddie how exactly do you know, y/n?”

- “we’re classmates and friends.”

- “dustin’s my classmate but you don’t see me kissing him.. are you two dating?”

- “well we’re uh.. we sometimes- hmm.”

- now eddie has to ask

- cue him at your locker with you

- “hey i have a question..”

- “what’s up?”

- “when you go to parties.. what do you do??”

- he pussied out because he was going to originally ask “what are we, exactly?”

-“well.. i get there, usually with steve, talk to people i know, make out with you, drink with you, smoke with you, and that’s pretty much it until i have to leave.. why?” you explained.

- “okay, well..at the ones i don’t deal to, what do you do???”

- “okay… i go, again usually with steve, talk to people i know, drink a little, dance with some friends, then i leave! again, why?” you said, now suspicious

- oh! he didn’t expect that answer.

- “no reason…”

- “is it because of the kids asking if we were dating? because they asked me too and i didn’t know how to respond either..”

- you : 🌚 eddie : 🌝

- you’ve now found yourselves heatedly making out in your room??? was school even over girl ? imma need you to stand up 🫤

- “wait. soo does this mean we’re together??” - eddie panted as you tried to get his shirt off.

- “depends, do you plan on doing this with anyone else?”

- “never.”

- “then absolutely”